Whoosh! Then again, business trips do have their perks!
Men mean nothing to Lena
but women on the other hand...

Lena Kundera

May 21, 2003

(Lena next on AMC)
Last update: 11/28/03

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Bianca Montgomery
Lena Kundera (Olga Sosnovska)


Lena on "the next AMC": "Men are for business" line!


From The Official Site at ABC.com:

No mention of Lena

From About All My Children

Kendall visits Michael in jail, where she tells him, “I came here because I want something, and I’m not leaving until I get it.”
When Lena proclaims that men mean nothing to her, Bianca asks what women are good for? Lena replies, “Love.”
Joe tells David he is not going to be in the OR during his daughter’s surgery!
Edmund holds Maria back as she cries that she can’t just let Aidan die—she’s got to do something.

From Soap Slut

On the next All My Children
Kendall's at *sshole's cell telling him she wants something from him and won't leave without it.
Men mean nothing to Lena, but she loves women! Heh.
David isn't allowed to be in the O.R. for the spawn's surgery.
Mauria struggles on the dock, sobbing about Aidan's fate.


This all gay recap is by C.K..
Read all the All Gay Re-caps at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheAllGayRecap/.


  • Henry is abused. By me.
  • Maggie says no.
  • Mary/Maureen dips into the Jacuzzi.
  • I am still bored.

Same Classroom, Same Day - On with the riveting Maggie story line. *Burp*

Henry is a moron. No, an asshole. No, a cretin. No, an imbecile. He actually thinks proposing marriage will be a good substitute for Maggie's real dream, which has nothing to do with "I do" and everything to do with "Say 'Ah!'" Henry, the hair gel must have invaded your brain.

So, Maggie's answer is no. I think. For now.

The Other Riveting Story Line - Mary, or Maureen, whatever her name is, wants to save that bratty, annoying kid.

See? She fell in the pool with the purple water. Oh wait, now I feel bad because she's crying and happy to be home. I still don't care, but I'm not unfeeling. No, really.

Back to Maggie - Maggie is not going to marry Henry and let him "take care of her," because, damn it, we all have dreams and, Henry, you're not part of them. In fact, Maggie thinks you cheated on purpose, so that you’d get caught and fall back on Plan B - no, not The Practice's version of Plan B though, at this point, it might make things more interesting - and go make music. You know, if you could play, which you can't.

Maggie says something which makes sense: if Henry is so concerned with honor, he should do the honorable thing and tell the Prof. he cheated. Finally, logical logic. But then Regina, that shifty girl from yesterday, steps in, makes a play for Henry and tells him that he is so honest, so honorable, that telling the truth is the last thing he should be doing. And that is Soap Logic.

TOMORROW ON AMC: Kendall visits Michael in prison. Plus, Lena tells Bianca that men mean nothing to her but women are for love.


This parody is by LizzieT.

No Lena parts today because there was no Lena in the actual show, only the "Next on AMC"

Over at Fusion the Sexiest Man contest was just getting started.
Kendall: Look, we have video shots of men. :::giggle::::
Simone: And they're half naked! :::squeal:::::
Greenlee: And they're posing with us while we're half naked. :::giggle::::
Mia: Oh pooh. I wish I hadn't almost been killed a couple of times lately. I wanted to go make videos with half naked men too. :::sigh::::
Kendall: You can come next time. This is going to be our new storyline.
All Fusion girls: :::squeal::::giggle:::::dance::::giggle::::
Liza: Can I come next time too?
Greenlee: No! How many times do we have to tell you - you don't fit in with the Fusion girls.
Liza: :::sigh::::
Tad: What about me? I thought I was going to be in your sexiest man video.
Simone: Sorry. This storyline is going for the 12 and under demographic. Fans with any maturity or sense of what a soap is about won't be watching so we don't need you.
Lizzie: What's going on here? This show has been so good lately and now this? Is this a lost episode from last January?
Kendall: I think so. Last week I was part of the "Kane women kick b***" story, now I'm back to squealing and giggling.
Tad: I'm off to the gym so we can do one of those clever men vs. women things.
Simone: Men in a gym - ooooh all sweaty and hot. :::snicker snicker:::: I want to go.
Liza: OK, since I'm the oldest one here I'll guide the discussion on men. Ready everybody? Men say they love you but they get upset if you embezzle millions from their company.
Boyd: Women will seduce you to get your anti-aging formula.
Kendall: Men pretend to be your boyfriend, then they send you out to seduce other men to steal anti-aging formula.
Tad: Women say they're coming back to you but they drive their cars off cliffs and end up in Oakdale.
Greenlee: Men say they'll stay with you forever but they fall off cliffs and end up doing prime time.
Carlos: Women expect you to act when you were only hired to stand around and look good.
Simone: I don't care. I love men.
Mia: Me too. I haven't given up on men even though my fiancee dumped me and my new boyfriend's wife is about to get her memory back.
Kenny: I don't have anything to say. I"m really not a character on the show.
Lizzie: Could there be a bigger waste of an episode than this?
Henry: You haven't recapped my scenes yet.
Lizzie: :::sob:::::

Henry: Maggie, I can't confess to cheating because that would ruin my life. But I think we should get married.
Maggie: Are you insane?
Henry: I think marrying you is my only chance. Otherwise I'm probably going to be written out. Let's face it - I'm not the most interesting character in town.
Maggie: But if I marry you I'll probably be written out. You've turned me into one of the dullest characters on the show - and believe me with this show that's saying a lot. Why don't you just confess that you're the one who cheated?
Henry: Mommy would be mad. So are you saying you don't want to get married?
Maggie: What universe do you live in?
Regina: What about me Henry? I understand you. We'd be perfect together.
Henry: Because we're both Chinese?
Regina: No. Because no one cares anything about either one of us. We could disappear tomorrow and no one would miss us.

On the Fidelity Flanders tossed Maddie into the water.
Maddie: OK, with a little luck and some strong swimming I can escape from this show and be in Port Charles by morning.
Maria: Hang on Maddie, I'm coming. I won't let my precious daughter drown.
Maddie: Great. Now she remembers me.
Flanders: Not so fast lady. I'm gonna kill you too.
Aidan: Oi won't let yew urt Mowreen. Oi'll beat yew up I will.
Flanders: ::whack::::
Aidan: :::thud::::
Maria: ::::splash:::: Hang on Maddie. Swim to Mommy. We won't drown. I've got built in flotation devices. :::gasp::::Look, there's a spotlight on me and the camera is coming in for a close-up. It must be time for my memory to come back. :::::gasp::::There I am dancing with Edmund.....He looks a lot younger.....There I am with the blonde kid.......About time someone remembered him........There's my wedding day......There's that awful sitcom I was in when I left the show.....
Maddie: Help!
Maria: Wait. I have one more flashback......There I am with Maddie. Oh, I love my daughter so much.
Maddie: Help!
Maria: Could you keep it down kid. I'm finally getting my memory back.
Maddie: :::glug glug:::::
Maria: Oh all right. I'll save you Maddie.

Later Edmund found Maria and Maddie on the pier.
Edmund: Thank God you're all right.
Maria: Were you worried?
Edmund: Not once you got into the water. I figured there was no way you'd drown.
Maria: Edmund I have something to tell you - something you and the fans have been longing to hear- something I can't keep to myself a minute longer-
The Fidelity: :::BANG:::::
Fans: Oh no, not another roadblock!


Bianca: And what are women good for?
Lena: Love.


Unverified in non-clip parts

***** (clip a) [On the next AMC: For Lena, men mean nothing and women are good for love!]

On the next "All My Children" --
Kendall: I came here because I want something, and I'm not leaving until I get it.
[amc030521a-inc2 starts]
Lena: Men mean nothing to me, Bianca.
Bianca: And what are women good for?
Lena: Love.
[amc030521a-inc2 ends]
Joe: You are not going to be in the O.R. during your daughter's surgery.
Maria: I can't just let him die, Edmund. I've got to do something.


I have the following clips (incompletes are marked "inc"):
amc030521a-inc2.mpg (3.6m; 0:16) On the next AMC: For Lena, men mean nothing and women are good for love!

The above described clips can also be found on my shared folder on AIM (http://www.aim.com to download). My user name on AIM is kymtaborn. E-mail me with your AIM user name (ktaborn@lightspeed.net) and I will give you access to the shared folder. When you have access, you can right click my user name on your buddy list and then click on get file. That should get you into the shared folder. If you have problems, then tweak your firewall. The downloads are slow because it has to go through the AIM filter AND often there are a lot of people downloading along with you. I apologize for the slow speed but this is the only way that I can distribute the clips at this time.

I am eliciting volunteers to host the clips throughout the web. If you have 5-25megs of space you can lend to this project, please let me know!

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