Whoosh! No need to be jealous, Kendall. It's KenLee all the way for me.
Greenlee reams Kendall for telling Erica
about Greenlee getting Lena a job

Lena Kundera

June 12, 2003

(Lena mention)
Last update: 12/03/03

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Erica Kane
Bianca Montgomery
Jackson Montgomery
(no Lena)
Anna Devane


Greenelee, Erica, Kendall, and Bianca talk about Lena (no Lena)


From The Official Site at ABC.com:

At the hospital, Erica learns that Jack's condition is critical and that he needs a rare blood type for a transfusion. After ruling Bianca out as a possible blood donor, Erica makes a public appeal to find a donor with the same rare blood type as Jack's. Meanwhile, Greenlee confronts Kendall and accuses her of betrayal for telling Erica about Lena's new job.

From About All My Children

Bianca’s not pleased to hear from Erica, asking if she wants to set her up with another girl or lecture her about Lena again? Her tone changes when Erica says she’s at the hospital; Jack collapsed, and he needs her. Stunned, Bianca says she’ll be right over...

As Kendall puts pins on a map to indicate the cities they’ve hit in their contest search, Greenlee comes in and snatches the notes from her hands, saying this is confidential Fusion info! Kendall says she’s a partner, and asks since when they keep secrets from each other? Greenlee tells her, “Since you went to the competition!” She explains it’s about trust—she couldn’t wait to tell Erica she got her grandfather to hire Lena! She agrees Erica would have found out eventually, but she didn't expect her to find out from her partner; what she can't handle and Fusion doesn't need is a traitor, “You gave me up to score points with Erica!” When Kendall says Erica’s her mother, Greenlee tells her that piranha will never be the mother she wants her to be! Kendall insists Erica said she needed her, but Greenlee says Erica doesn't know the difference between needing someone and using them. She used her to get to Michael; now that she’s got that, she’s gone. Kendall thinks she’s wrong, that now she has a mother, but Greens tells her she’s setting herself up for a fall—she had the same fantasies about her mother; now all she wants is for her to leave town before she causes any more grief. She asks Kendall to promise her, no more running to Erica, and Kendall agrees...

From Soap Slut

Greenlee reads Kendall the riot act for telling on her to Erica. Kendall isn’t chastened, she’s confident that Erica would have found out anyway. Greenlee is fully aware that Kendall was only trying to score points with Erica. She doesn’t think Kendall is capable of drawing the line between something piss-ant like the Lena job news and confidential product development. Greenlee thinks Kendall has lost sight of why they started the business in the first place: to bring down Enchantment. Kendall insists that is still her goal. Greens says Kendall’s too busy sucking up to Erica. Kendall responds that Erica is her mother. “That piranha,” begins Greenlee, “will never be the mother you want her to be.” Listen to her, Kendall.


This all gay recap is by C.K..
Read all the All Gay Re-caps at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheAllGayRecap/.


  • Erica flounders.
  • Anna takes charge.
  • Greenlee asks Kendall for undying devotion.
  • ComatoseJack is back.
  • Simone Glitters. But without Mariah Carey.

Jackson's Pad - Despite her many years of EMT training, Erica only remembers how to shake Jackson and call out his name in a very tenuous attempt to resuscitate him. Anna pushes her away in and tries to get Erica to call 911; as we all know, all those years of breathing formulas have left her with an addled brain, so Erica just looks stunned.

At Fusion - Greenlee makes Kendall promise allegiance to Fusion and only Fusion. Ahem. They start trading horrible mother stories; Greenlee, because she is tactful and caring, tells Kendall that Erica will never lover her. Simone arrives with a really ugly man in tow; naturally, he thinks he's god's gift to women, but only succeeds in grossing me out. Hey, I'm gay, but I see the gorgeous thing in many men: this dude is just repugnant. Thankfully, the girls of Fusion agree with me and put him in the elevator; the doors don't close soon enough though and I have to see him do that pistol thing with his hands - together with the clicking mouth sound. Oy. Gouge my eyes out, please!

The Hospital - The Doc tells Anna and Erica that Jack has a slow bleeder, which was caused by the gunshot wound he sustained. Erica, who is not a doctor and does not play one on TV, wonders why this is happening now, weeks after Jack's apparent recovery. Doc tells Erica that Jack's collapse was likely caused by stress.

Erica, it's all your fault. In this case, though, it's a good thing you were such a pain in the ass because, otherwise, he might have just continued bleeding internally.

Making matters worse, Jack has a rare blood cell
phenotype: he not only is a rare man, but one with a rare blood type. Aw. Erica and Anna both wonder about the hospital's blood bank and the Red Cross but, alas, there is a blood shortage, so Jack will have to rely on donors and hope and pray and hope and pray there will be a match.

I'll make a prediction and say the rare blood cell phenotype is just an excuse to find a heretofore unknown relative among the Pine Valley Incestuous Circle.

TOMORROW ON AMC: Erica says she is not Kendall's mother. The fuh? Also, more crap, though I think Lena might be on tomorrow.


This parody is by LizzieT.

No Lena parts today because there was no Lena in the actual show

Reggie was at the Habitat House.
Luis: You'd better clear out of here. There's a shipment of 2x4's coming in and I want to sell them on the black market.
Reggie: Couldn't you make more money selling drugs or something?
Luis: You'd think. I guess they're trying to get away from the stereotype street kid drug dealer so they have me specializing in blackmarket construction materials. Now get that Joanie chick out of here before I have to kill her.
Reggie: Hey Joanie, do you want to go to a gradutation party?
Joanie: No. I'd rather stay here and dance all by myself in an empty construction site. :::dance dance dance::::: I wonder if I'm a better dancer than Carlos. ::dance dance dance::::
Joanie's Father: :::gasp:::: You'd better be having a seizure young lady! I told you never to dance to the devil's music!
Reggie: It's my music sir. Joanie wasn't dancing. When she heard it playing she was so shocked she grabbed onto a live electrical wire and was nearly electrocuted.
Joanie's Father: Whew! That's a relief. And who might you be young man?
Reggie: I'm Reggie - construction site foreman, chief architect on the project, and the kid you will never think is good enough for your daughter.
Joanie: I can't leave now Dad. I have to wait around for one of those midnight deliveries we get here at the site. Then I have to start pouring concrete for the swimming pool.
Joanie's Father: All right. Just as long as you don't end up at one of those heathen graduation parties.
Joanie: So Reggie, how about taking me to a heathen graduation party?
Reggie: OK. It beats staying around here being menaced by Luis.

At Fusion it was nonsense as usual.
Greenlee: You ratted me out to Erica. You're a traitor.
Kendall: She's my mother. I had to tell her what you were up to.
Greenlee: Just for that I won't let you play with our map anymore. :::nyahh:::::
Kendall: I didn't want to play with your old map anyway.::::nyahhhh::::
Greenlee: Now we have to do a shameless plug for our sexiest man contest.
Kendall: Can't we let Simone do it?
Simone: Look what I found everyone. Here's our contest winner right now.
Extra: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Kendall: Simone, it's the sexiest man contest, not the sleaziest man contest.
Simone: There's a difference?
Kenny: Hi everyone. I just came to see Carlos.
Greenlee: Shhhhh! He hasn't been in this episode yet and I want to keep it that way.
Simone: I'm headed to the lake for a heathen graduation party. It should be great publicity for Fusion to give away free cosmetics to a bunch of small town high school kids.
Kenny: Can I come with you?
Simone: OK. Maybe you can help me find a sexy guy.
Kenny: ::::sigh:::::
Mary: How's my darling daughter?
Greenlee: What are you doing here?
Mary: I told you. I'm moving back to town to be with my precious little Gracie.
Greenlee: Greenlee.
Mary: I knew that.
Greenlee: I still think there's some other reason for you to be here. I wonder what it could be.
Mary: I think you'll find out in a couple of weeks.

The heathen graduation party was in full swing at the lake.
Jamie: You'd think a heathen gradutation party would be more exciting. Good thing there's a keg.
Lizzie: I wish I had a keg.
Laurie: Joanie, are you dating Reggie?
Joanie: No way.
Jamie: Reggie, are you dating Joanie?
Reggie: No way.
Kenny: Simone, if we stay at a party with underage drinking we could be arrested.
Simone: No way.
Lizzie: I really wish I had a keg.

David broke in to Joe's office to look at the autopsy report.
David: See. It says right here "Joe Martin caused the death of David Hayward's daughter".
Joe: It does not.
David: Well it should. This autopsy if full of lies. It was all a conspiracy to kill my child. I have pictures of you behind the grassy knoll in Dallas too. Don't try to deny it.
Tad: Leave my father alone.
David: Why are you here? You don't work at the hospital. You're in on it too aren't you? You were all in on it. I'm not paranoid - you really are all out to get me!

Anna was shocked to find out that Jack had collapsed.
Anna: What happened to him?
Erica: I told him I was leaving and he just passed out. He's so sensitive. A few weeks ago I told him I wouldn't marry him and he went out and got shot.
Anna: Did you call 911?
Erica: No. I usually just wait until someone flatlines then I demand that they come back to me. It works every time.
Anna: I think I'll call 911 just in case.

Later at the hospital the doctor explained Jack's condition to Erica.
Dr.: He's bleeding internally. Things like this happen when someone goes straight from intensive care to breakfast at the Valley Inn. Jack has a very rare blood type and he must have a transfusion of this rare blood or he will die. We must find the one person in the world with this same rare blood type before it's too late.
Erica: He had transfusions before. Why wasn't it a problem then?
Dr.: It wasn't necessary for the plot at that time.
Erica: I see. Does he need only one pint of blood from this donor or are we going to have to drain them dry? Because it doesn't seem to me like one pint of blood from one person could be all that important.
Dr.: Please Ms. Kane. We're all competent health professionals here at Pine Valley Hospital.
David: Incompetants! Murderers! Fiends! Don't trust these morons to take care of your loved ones! They'll all end up in the morgue! :::foams at the mouth:::::
Dr: Is there a family member who could donate blood?
Erica: Jack has a sister, that Kit Fisher person. But the audience wouldn't stand for it if they brought her back. There's my daughter Bianca. She can be tested.
Dr.: Is there anyone else? A long lost child he never knew he had perhaps?
Erica: Of course not. Things like that never happen in Pine Valley.


Greenlee: Why did you set a land speed record ratting me out to Erica? You

Bianca: Oh, Mom, what is this about? Do you want to set me up with another girl or lecture me about Lena again? Because I'm really not in the mood right now.


Unverified in non-clip parts

***** (clip a) [Greenlee reams Kendall for telling Erica about Greenlee getting Lena a job]

Kendall: What are you talking about?
Greenlee: Trust. Why did you set a land speed record ratting me out to Erica? You couldn't wait to tell her that I got my grandfather to hire Lena.
Kendall: Ok, it's no big deal. Erica would have found out eventually.
Greenlee: But I didn't expect her to find out from my partner. What I can't handle and what Fusion doesn't need is a traitor.
Kendall: Oh, come on, Greenlee. It's not like I gave up our company secrets.
Greenlee: You gave me up to score points with Erica.
Kendall: She had a right to know.
Greenlee: What is she going to have a right to know next, hmm? Our campaign strategies? Our marketing ideas? Our product development?
Kendall: No, I would never do that.
Greenlee: You seem to have forgotten that when we started Fusion, our goal was to beat Enchantment.
Kendall: Yeah, it still is.
Greenlee: When you're not sucking up to Erica.
Kendall: She's my mother.
Greenlee: That piranha will never be the mother you want her to be.

***** (clip b) [The doctor tells Erica and Anna that Jackson has a very rare bloodtype and needs a relative to donate blood (no Lena)]

[amc030612b starts]
Erica: Dr. Orlin, surely this hospital has enough of that blood type on hand.
Anna: What exactly is it that Jackson needs?
Dr. Orlin: He needs blood that's not only the same type but has the same phenotype as well.
Erica: Well, why do you make that sound as if it's a problem? I mean, Jack had transfusions when he was admitted here for his gunshot wound.
Dr. Orlin: Unfortunately, the hospital blood bank is experiencing a shortage.
Erica: That's unacceptable.
Anna: Have you tried the Red Cross?
Dr. Orlin: With such a rare phenotype, the local chapter doesn't have a match, either. We're checking the national registry. But the quickest and usually the most effective solution is to test family members.
Erica: All right. Well, Jack has a sister, Kit. She's out of the country, but I can call Bianca, my daughter. That's Jack's niece. May I use your phone?
Dr. Orlin: Yes. Dial nine first.
Erica: Thank you.
[Anna sighs]
Dr. Orlin: Is there anyone else directly related?
Anna: Oh, not that I know of.
Dr. Orlin: We need a larger pool of donors.

***** (clip c) [Bianca sarcastically asks Erica is she's going to lecture her about Lena]

[amc030612c starts]
Bianca: Hello.
Erica: Oh, Bianca. Thank God I caught you, honey.
Bianca: Oh, Mom, what is this about? Do you want to set me up with another girl or lecture me about Lena again? Because I'm really not in the mood right now.
Erica: Bianca, I'm at the hospital.
Bianca: The hospital? Why, Mom? Are you ok?
Erica: It's uncle Jack. He's collapsed, honey, and he needs you.
Bianca: Oh, my God. All right. I'll be right over.

***** (clip d) [Bianca finds out her blood does not match her Uncle Jack (no Lena)]

[amc030612d starts]
Erica: Bianca, Bianca, did they finish testing you?
Bianca: I'm sorry. I'm not a match.
Erica: That's all right. That's all right, sweetheart. We're just going to -- we're going to keep on looking.
Bianca: It could take forever to find the right match. Uncle Jack can't wait that long.
Erica: No, you know what? We don't have to wait.
Anna: So, really, that is all I can tell you about Mr. Montgomery's status.
Erica: Excuse me. Do you want an exclusive from me?
Man: You bet we do.
Erica: Then you turn that camera on.

***** (clip e) [Erica tells the unconscious Jack he'll be fine (no Lena)]

[amc030612e starts]
Erica: Jack. You're going to be fine, Jack.
Bianca: Yeah. When mom talks, people listen.
Erica: All we need is one person, the right person, to save you.


I have the following clips (incompletes are marked "inc"):
amc030612b.mpg (9.8m; 0:57) The doctor tells Erica and Anna that Jackson has a very rare bloodtype and needs a relative to donate blood (no Lena)
amc030612c.mpg (4.8m; 0:28) Bianca sarcastically asks Erica is she's going to lecture her about Lena
amc030612d.mpg (5.4m; 0:32) Bianca finds out her blood does not match her Uncle Jack (no Lena)
amc030612e.mpg (2.5m; 0:14) Erica tells the unconscious Jack he'll be fine (no Lena)

The above described clips can also be found on my shared folder on AIM (http://www.aim.com to download). My user name on AIM is kymtaborn. E-mail me with your AIM user name (ktaborn@lightspeed.net) and I will give you access to the shared folder. When you have access, you can right click my user name on your buddy list and then click on get file. That should get you into the shared folder. If you have problems, then tweak your firewall. The downloads are slow because it has to go through the AIM filter AND often there are a lot of people downloading along with you. I apologize for the slow speed but this is the only way that I can distribute the clips at this time.

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