Whoosh! No, I swear to god, it wasn't any bigger than this.
Mia's famous hairclip mike

Lena Kundera

June 30, 2003

(Lena mention)
Last update: 12/07/03

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Kendall Hart
(no Lena)
Aiden Devane
Mia Saunders


Kendall and Aiden try to get evidence that Michael framed Lena by sending a bugged Mia to hang out with Michael.


From The Official Site at ABC.com:

Aidan outfits Mia with a hidden microphone as they, along with Kendall, head to the Valley Inn to set a trap for Michael. Mia and Kendall stage a fight and Mia defends Michael, who suffers a minor cut on his arm when Kendall pushes him. Mia tends to Michael's wound. Kendall and Aidan follow Mia as she goes home with Michael. At Michael's condo, Mia is unaware that she has accidentally knocked off her hidden microphone as Kendall and Aidan try to listen to what is happening inside. Mia feels threatened by Michael's advances.

From About All My Children

Mia marvels at how small the listening device is, and Aidan puts the clip in the back of her hair. Kendall repeats that she doesnít have to do this, but Mia insists sheís totally in! She asks exactly what they want her to get from Michael, and Kendall explains they need her to get proof that he framed Lena for the insider trading deal with Chandler Enterprises.

Aidan agrees they canít come out of this empty-handed, or Lena will end up going to prison and Michael will walk free. Kendall thinks, if theyíre lucky, Michael will brag on his bad self after his first drink, and theyíll get the dirt they need. Aidan assures Mia the clip is safe, and sheís wired for sound. He says itís almost time for his shift at the Valley Inn bar, time for Michael Cambiasí usual dose of scotches. Mia agrees, ďLetís go get him!Ē...

Aidan and Kendall canít hear either of them as Michael asks Mia, ďWhat exactly is the problem?Ē
Adam wants to help Lena, if sheíll let him.
Mary rubs Carlosí bare chest and says itís no wonder Greenlee canít resist him!
Erica tells Tad to just give him the information on Mary Smythe, and sheíll give him whatever he wants!

From Soap Slut

Previously, on All My Children
Mia volunteered to put her solitary brain cell to use to help Kendall and Aidan prove *sshole's guilt...

Mia examines a hairclip with a tiny bug attached. "It's so small!" she says. "Where should I put it?" God. I can't even choose from the jokes. And "where should I put it?" It's a f****** hairclip, Mia. Give it some thought. Oh, that's right. Really dumb people probably aren't capable of thought. Poor, sad you. Aidan takes matters out of her hands and clips it into her hair for her. Kendall offers her another chance to bail, but Mia's in it for the distance. I'm getting distracted from the conversation by Aidan; I think he's supposed to be securing the clip in her hair or whatever, but from one of the camera angles it's clear that he spends two solid minutes just stroking two strands of her hair. Finally he announces that Mia's all set and he heads off to start his shift at the Valley Inn (and set the plan in motion) with both girls close behind...

*sshole shows up at the Valley Inn bar, where Aidan pours him a drink. *sshole glances at Mary once and labels her a maneater. Heh. I wish she'd eat you. Aidan runs off on a request for a special bottle of bubbly for the disturbingly flirty Mary, but stops in the lobby to meet Kendall and Mia. They exchange a few last nervous instructions/thank yous before Kendall tears into the bar, loudly insulting *sshole every step of the way. He smirks that she still wants him. Eugh. She responds by (still loudly) detailing his daddy complex and his knack for victimizing women. He snaps at her to shut it as Mia approaches, and Mia accuses Kendall of being harsh and out of line. Kendall gets up in her face about Edmund, Jake and desperation, causing Mia to jump up and come at her. *sshole tries to step between them but Kendall shoves him hard into the bar (wheee!), leaving him with his arm or hand or something cut. Whee! It's always fun seeing *sshole get shoved around. The other patrons murmur as she stares him down and Aidan finally returns.

Mia fawns over *sshole as Aidan pretends to kick Kendall out on her *ss. Mia and *sshole get free drinks for their trouble. Mary impatiently calls for her champagne and as Aidan's opening it for her, she starts up some small talk about what an attention whore Kendall is. He slaps the bottle down, seemingly unopened, and informs her that Kendall is his friend. Aw! He so wants her. Hee. He stomps off, leaving Mary bewildered.

Aidan rejoins Kendall in the lobby where she's practically bouncing off the walls about injuring *sshole. He assures her they'll celebrate that later as they test out the bug's reception.

Mia fixes up *sshole's arm and assures him that Kendall's still all about him. The ego on this jerk to actually believe that. He starts explaining to her again his version of how things happened with Kendall and Erica, but she waves him off. She "believes" that Kendall made it all up to cause some trouble. *sshole has to go home to change out of the bloody shirt, and Mia, seeing an opportunity, offers to accompany him.

Kendall starts to chase Mia and *sshole down but is restrained by Aidan temporarily -- he'll get his shift covered, then they can follow...

Mia and *sshole make some small talk on his porch. She invites herself inside, but doesn't notice that the hairclip has somehow wound up on his porch. *sighs* Leave it to Mia...

Aidan and Kendall rush up outside of *sshole's. They assume they'll be able to hear trouble with the whole Mia-being-bugged thing. Mia, left alone for two seconds, digs through *sshole's briefcase. She finds something she deems important, thinking she's talking to Aidan and Kendall all the while. Outside, that duo realizes they're only hearing static. Mia manages to get *sshole's crap back into his briefcase quickly, but has to hide the paper she has in her fist as he starts (ew, ew ew) kissing her.

On the next All My Children
*sshole wonders what Mia's problem is.
Kendall restates the fact that they can't hear Mia and *sshole.
Adam offers to help Lena.
Mary is being disgusting with Shirtless Carlos in a way that I don't even want to think of.
Erica asks Tad to give her the dirt.


This all gay recap is by C.K..
Read all the All Gay Re-caps at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheAllGayRecap/.


Fusion - Aidan pins a hair thingy with a bug on Mia so they can trap Michael: that thing is so big I donít know how Skunk *ss will possibly miss it.


Lacyís - Erica asks Diane why her display has moved and shows her the picture Greenlee disfigured. Diane tells her it was a business decision, but Erica doesnít buy it, throws a hissy fit about Greenlee and walks along The War Path.  She shall henceforth be known as Walks With Fury.


Boat House - Greenlee is smooching Carlos but, once he tells her she has his corazón, she stops and tells him she canít go on and itís her fault, not his.

I thought it might be the fault of those ruffles on her top - and isnít it just perfect that Lubriderm is sponsoring this part of the show? What lubricant is sponsoring your AMC today?


Greenlee tells him this is where she and Leo were married and, while sheíll always love him, she doesnít want to wait anymore and wants to have sex with him. Carlos, not Leo, 'cause Leo is dead and, well, that would be both weird and sick. Well, snap your fingers then! Carloser can tell somethingís up and doesnít want to have sex there or at her penthouse because he wants to make his own memories with her: they will when the time is right, when itíll be only the two of them. As opposed to now, with all of us watching.


At The Hospital - Reggie brings Jack someÖhumÖmagazines, like Legz Ė and thatís when Erica arrives. Heh heh. She shows him the Salvador Dali painting of herself and he laughs at it. Aw, I love you, Jack!

Two dozens white roses arrive, from niblits, aka Mary. Do I even have to tell you Erica has a tantrum about this? No, I didnít think so. At one point, Ericaís cell rings Ė the fuh? Ė and Jack pretends itís killing him. Heh, death by cell phone.

Valley Inn - Kendall walks to the bar to insult Michael, always a fun activity, until Mia arrives; she and Kendall mock-fight for a few minutes.

Wow, this plan is fool-proof, isn't it? He wonít see through that at all.

During the altercation, he cuts himself; after both Kendall and Aiden leave, Mia tends to his wound and tells him he wonít need stitches. What, is everyone a doctor in this town? Michael wants to go home and change and Mia, following the plan, invites herself to go with him.

Hum, Mia: just how far will you be going with this plan?

Greenlee and Carlos walk in; Mary sees them and invites them over. Carlos demurs, but Greenlee sits with her long enough to learn that Maryís in love and the man is right here!  In Pine Valley! 


Michaelís - As Mia is about to step into the 9th circle of hell, her bugged hair clip falls to the ground. Outside. As soon as Michael leaves the room, Mia rifles though his briefcase and, out loud, tells Kendall and Aidan, who are now waiting outside, what sheís found. Too bad the bugís no longer on your head!

TOMORROW ON AMC: Adam visits Lena in jail; Mary moves in on Carlos; Erica wants the dirt on Mary from Tad. And more crap.


This parody is by LizzieT.

No Lena parts today because there she was just mentioned a few times and showed up in the "Next on AMC"

Carlos and Greenlee were still at the boathouse.
Greenlee: I can't do this. It's not you, it's me.
Carlos: Isn't that like the ultimate break-up line?
Greenlee: Yes. I'm an awful person. You should run for your life and never look back. I'm setting you free Carlos. Go on with your life. Forget all about me.
Carlos: Those aren't your lines. You're supposed to tell me how you married Leo here but now you're ready to move on and you want to make love to me, just somewhere else.
Greenlee: Oh well, it was worth a shot.

Erica was horrified to find the new arrangement at Lacey's.
Erica: How could this happen? Is Greenlee blackmailing you with something?
Diane: Not at all. Fusion just has good buzz right now. Their sexiest man contest is getting a lot of attention.
Erica: Oh please. That storyline is about as popular as Carlos. There's more to this than you're telling me.
Diane: Don't take it so seriously Erica. It's not like Greenlee's ever going to be a part of your family or anything.

Reggie went to see Jack.
Reggie: I just came by to tell you not to worry about the missing construction supplies. Everything down at the site is OK.
Jack: Is the house finished yet?
Reggie: No, the set looks just the same as it always does.
Jack: That's too bad. I was hoping this storyline was almost over. I want you to look in my safe and bring me the jewelry that I bought for Erica. Just make sure you ignore the gun that's in there. I'd hate for you to decide to use the gun and take matters into your own hands.
Erica: Hello Jack, how are you feeling?
Jack: Well, I'm having some post -op -
Erica: That's nice. I'm having an awful day. That dreadful Greenlee person stole my counter space at Lacey's.
Jack: Is that such a big deal? I mean it's only one department store in a small town.
Erica: Of course it's a big deal! Why are you taking up for Greenlee? You haven't found out anything have you?
Jack: Huh?
Erica: Nothing. I just want us to get married right away. I wonder if the hospital chapel is booked for this evening?
Jack: You know, these mood swings are pretty intense. Do you think it's hormones?
Erica: Who sent you these flowers? "Niblet?" Who the hell is Niblet?
Jack: That's what I used to call Mary Smythe.
Erica: I'm not sure I can marry you now.
Jack: Because I had an affair with Mary years ago?
Erica: No, because you called her Niblet. What if you decide to call me some bizarre food oriented name? I had to put up with that once already. Chris used to call me Manicotti.

The Valley Inn bar was the place to be.
Aidan: All roit Mia. Just mike sure Moichal tawlks roit into your air. Now let's go.
Kendall: Hello Michael you scum of the earth. Here, let me subtlely shove you right into a fork.
Michael: Oww! Now I'm bleeding - or more accurately I'm oozing.
Mia: Oh poor little Michael. Let me help you.
Michael: How kind of you.
Mia: No problem. Could you just lean forward towards my hair when you speak?
Mary: What does a woman have to do to get a drink in this place?
Aidan: Ere you go. Now if yew'll excewse me, Oi ave to go into the all and listen in on me secret eadphones. No one shewd notice that owt there.
Kendall: Let me listen too. It was my idea.
Mia: Why don't we go back to your place and I'll nurse your wound.
Michael: That sounds like a good idea.
Mia: I'm sorry. Could you repeat that into my hair clasp? And be sure to speak clearly and distinctly.
Mary: Greenlee, why don't you and Carlos come sit by me.
Carlos: I'll go check on a table. I'll be right back.
Greenlee: What's going on mother?
Mary: I'm in love Greenlee. I think he loves me too - he's just playing hard to get.
Greenlee: What do you mean?
Mary: He's pretending to be madly in love with another woman but I know it's really me he wants. He just hides it very well. Oh look, here's Carlos. Did you get a table?
Carlos: No. Some armed assassin tried to kill me in the hallway. Luckily security caught him just in time.
Greenlee: :::whimper::::
Producer: GREENLEE!

Mia and Michael went back to his condo, followed by Kendall and Aidan.
Michael: Do you want to come in?
Mia: Yes. Just let me shake my hair first. This isn't as easy as it looks. I should have taken hair tossing lessons from Erica.
:::clasp falls to the ground::::
Mia: You go look for a first aid kit while I snoop around in your files and talk to myself.
Michael: You're new at being sneaky aren't you?
Kendall: I don't know why we can't hear Mia and Michael. Do you here anything at all?
Aidan: No. Wite! I ear something. I ear some bloke whot tawks just loik me. Do yew know whot that means?
Kendall: What?
Aidan: Moichal must be British. Oi never wood ave guessed the rotter was from England but Oi cewd swear e tawks just loik me long lost brother.


Mia: It's so small. Where should I put it?

Kendall: Mia, you know what, really, you don't have to do this.
Mia: And watch Michael ooze into the sunset? No way, Iím totally in. Just what exactly -- what exactly do you guys want me to get from him?

Woman: Oh, my God! Are you crazy?


Unverified in non-clip parts

***** (clip a) [Previously on AMC: Kendall asks Aiden to help her prove that Lena was set up; Mia volunteers to help bring Michael down]

Previously on "All My Children" --
[amc030630a-inc1 starts]
Kendall: Help me prove that Michael framed Lena.
[amc030630a-inc1 ends]
[amc030630a-inc2 starts]
Aidan: But he's not going to tell you anything, Kendall.
Mia: He'll talk to me.
[amc030630a-inc2 ends]
Diane: How long have you known Carlos?
Greenlee: Long enough. He can tell the most scandalous stories.
Mary: We agree that Jack should be told that he's Greenleeís father.
Erica: You don't need to tell him today.
Mary: Iíll wait a week.
Erica: I need information that could destroy a person's life.

***** (clip b) [While mentioning Lena, Mia is fitted with the hairclip mike]

[amc030630b-inc1 starts]
Mia: It's so small. Where should I put it?
Aidan: We're going to stick that in the back of your hair.
Mia: Uh-huh.
Aidan: And then we'll wire you for sound.
Mia: You sure it's going to be safe there?
Aidan: Yep, safe as houses.
Kendall: Mia, you know what, really, you don't have to do this.
Mia: And watch Michael ooze into the sunset? No way, Iím totally in. Just what exactly -- what exactly do you guys want me to get from him?
Kendall: Well, we need you to get the proof that he framed Lena for the insider-trading deal with Chandler Enterprises.
Aidan: Yeah, we can't come out of this empty-handed because Lena's testimony won't stand for anything by itself. She's going to end up going to prison and Michael will walk free.
[amc030630b-inc1 ends]
Kendall: Right. If we're lucky, Michael will brag on his bad self after his first drink and then we'll get the dirt we need.
Aidan: There we go. It's all in. Are you ready? How's it feel?
Mia: Like it's not even there. Ok. So what now?
Aidan: Well, it's almost time for my shift at the Valley Inn bar and time for Michael Cambias' usual dose of scotches.
Kendall: All right. This is it, guys.
Mia: Let's go get him.

***** (clip c) [Aidan and Kendall sic Mia on Michael (no Lena)]

[amc030630c starts]
Aidan: Michael's here.
Kendall: Ok. This is it.
Mia: Ok. Hope it's cooler in the bar than it is in the lobby.
Aidan: Don't worry, Iíve got that covered.
Kendall: Look, you don't have to do this if you don't want to.
Mia: No, no, are you kidding me? I can't wait to bust this guy's chops.
Aidan: Hey, hey, Mia -- don't rush in there. Otherwise, he's going to smell this is a setup.
Mia: Slow. I got it. Ok.
Aidan: Let's put this plan into action. Iíll see you in a few.
Mia: Ok.
Kendall: Mia, thank you so much for doing this. I mean, there's really no reason for you to get involved.
Mia: Listen to me, there are two reasons -- you're my friend and this guy deserves to go down, ok? You ready?
Kendall: Yeah. Let's go.
Mia: Ok.
Kendall: Well, if it isn't Pine Valley's biggest jerk.
Michael: You know, all that fire, Kendall, it's obvious you still want me.
Kendall: Want you? That's very funny. A spineless little boy who just wishes his daddy loved him? A coward who victimizes women because it's the only way he can get any sort of satisfaction in this town?
Michael: You know, why don't you just shut your mouth, Kendall.
Kendall: Why don't you just crawl back under the rock that you came from. You're like a bug. You're like a fungus that infects everything you get near.
Michael: That's very good.
Mia: Aren't you being a little harsh?
Kendall: Iím not talking to you. And, you, I should call management and have you thrown out of here.
Mia: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Michael's just trying to cool off and have a drink. What's so wrong with that?
Kendall: Mia, why don't you get out of my face.
Mia: It's 100 degrees outside. Iím not going anywhere. May I?
Michael: Yes. Absolutely.
Kendall: Oh, my good, you're kidding me, you're kidding me. Mia, come on. Just because Edmund and Jake dumped you, I mean, how desperate can you be?
Mia: You b****.
Michael: Ok, ok, ladies, would you just --
Kendall: You know what, you just stay out of this!
Woman: Oh, my God! Are you crazy? Oh!

***** (clip d) [Kendall picks a fight with Michael (no Lena)]

[amc030627d starts]
Mia: Oh, my God. Are you all right?
Michael: You know, you really are a lunatic, Kendall.
Kendall: I hope you bleed to death.
Aidan: Kendall, I want you to leave, please.
Kendall: I didn't do this. He did it, and she helped.
Michael: Please.
Aidan: Now would be a good time.
Kendall: Fine. It's his fault.
Aidan: How about a Scotch on the house, and we'd better take a look at the arm.
Mia: No, Iíll take care of the arm, but the Scotch is a good idea. Could you make it two, please? Come on, let's go over here.

***** (clip e) [Mia works Michael at the Pine Valley Inn (no Lena)]

[amc030627e starts]
Kendall: Oh, my God, wasn't it terrific? Did you see how I pushed him and he was bleeding?
Aidan: Celebrate later, ok? Let's just see if this works.
Kendall: All right.
Aidan: Fingers crossed.
Kendall: Ok, ok, ok, ok. I want to hear, too, I want to hear, too.
Mia: Oh, you caught a break. You don't need stitches.
Michael: Huh. So why do you care, anyway? Why are you running interference for Kendall?
Mia: Oh, please, I saw that trouble coming. She is so hung up on you, even if you did --
Michael: Try and rape her? We've been over that. You know, Mia, I would never try and force myself upon a woman. What happened between Kendall and I was --
Mia: Her version of events.
Michael: Yeah, you can say that. You seem to know her pretty well.
Mia: Yeah, well, I know that when you broke up with her, she was pretty upset. You know, she was telling people that you raped her. She just wanted to cause trouble, I think.
Michael: Well, I am very happy that not everyone in Pine Valley listens to Kendall.
Mia: Yeah. Well, Iíve done all I can do. The shirt is a little bit beyond my expertise, Iím afraid.
Michael: Yeah, it's not exactly the fashion statement Iím looking for. Iíd better go home and change. If you'll excuse me.
Mia: Oh, how about if I tag along?
Michael: Say what?
Mia: Well, I mean, you should see what I can do when I have the right equipment. You do have a first-aid kit at home, don't you?
Michael: Yeah, well, we can go back and find out.
Mia: Ok. Why don't we do that.
Kendall: No, Mia cannot go home with that b******.
Aidan: Hey, hold on, hold on.
Kendall: No. God, no. God knows what he's going to do to her.
Aidan: Iíll get someone to cover my shift, then we'll follow them.
Kendall: All right, go, hurry, hurry.

***** (clip f) [Mia drops her hairclip mike (no Lena)]
Michael: This way.
Mia: Wow, it really is hot, huh?
Michael: Well, I like it hot. [amc030627f-inc starts] Are you coming?
Mia: Is your air conditioner working?
Michael: We shall see.

***** (clip g) [Mia finds a receipt in Michael's stuff (no Lena)]

Kendall: Did you have to personally interview a replacement? God knows what's going on in there.
Aidan: Will you relax? If he tries anything, we'll hear it [amc030630g-inc starts and Iíll stop him. Here.
Michael: So, can I get you something?
Mia: Oh. Well, a first-aid kit would be good.
Michael: Oh, right. Well, Iíll go look in the medicine cabinet, but I can't promise anything.
Mia: Ok.
Mia: Ok. Iím looking in Michael's briefcase right now. Just only have a second, though.
Mia: Oh, bingo, boys and girls. I think I found something. Yeah.
Kendall: Aidan, do you hear what I hear?
Aidan: D***. Nothing but static.
Kendall: I know.
Michael: Well, this is all I could find.
Mia: Oh. Yeah. Well, we'll just make this work.
Michael: Good. You know, Mia, I promise you, you are not going to regret this.

***** (clip h) [Next on AMC: Adam offers to help Lena]

On the next "All My Children"
Michael: What exactly is the problem here?
Kendall: I can't hear Mia or Michael.
[amc030630h-inc3 starts]
Adam: I want to help you if you'll let me.
[amc030630h-inc3 ends]
Mary: No wonder Greenlee can't resist you.
Erica: Tad, just give me the information on Mary Smythe and Iíll give you whatever you want.


I have the following clips (incompletes are marked "inc"):
amc030630a-inc1.mpg (756k; 0:04) Previously on AMC: Kendall asks Aiden to help her prove that Lena was set up
amc030630a-inc2.mpg (1m; 0:06) Previously on AMC: Mia volunteers to help bring Michael down
amc030630b-inc1.mpg (7.4m; 0:43) While mentioning Lena, Mia is fitted with the hairclip mike
amc030630c.mpg (20.9m; 2:02) Aidan and Kendall sic Mia on Michael (no Lena)
amc030630d.mpg (5.3m; 0:31) Kendall picks a fight with Michael (no Lena)
amc030630e.mpg (18.2m; 1:47) Mia works Michael at the Pine Valley Inn (no Lena)
amc030630f-inc.mpg (3.2m; 0:19) Mia drops her hairclip mike (no Lena)
amc030630g-inc.mpg (16.2m; 1:35) Mia finds a receipt in Michael's stuff (no Lena)
amc030630h-inc3.mpg (795k; 0:04) Next on AMC: Adam offers to help Lena

The above described clips can also be found on my shared folder on AIM (http://www.aim.com to download). My user name on AIM is kymtaborn. E-mail me with your AIM user name (ktaborn@lightspeed.net) and I will give you access to the shared folder. When you have access, you can right click my user name on your buddy list and then click on get file. That should get you into the shared folder. If you have problems, then tweak your firewall. The downloads are slow because it has to go through the AIM filter AND often there are a lot of people downloading along with you. I apologize for the slow speed but this is the only way that I can distribute the clips at this time.

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