Lena Kundera

September 18, 2003

Last update: 09/19/03

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Lena Kundera
Bianca Montgomery
Maggie Stone


Lena finds out Bianca is pregnant, and while thinking she was to blame for bringing Michael to town, she looks at a box of insecticide.


From The Official Site at ABC.com:

At the boathouse, Lena eavesdrops on Maggie and Bianca and learns of Bianca's pregnancy. Lena blames herself for Bianca's pain as she stares at a container of poison.

From Soap Slut

Bianca decides to abort the ***fetus. Then she and Maggie go swimming out by the boathouse. It's Lena's turn to don the stalkerpants as she hovers nearby for some reason that I did not catch. She's very upset to learn of Bianca's pregnancy. She returns to her room at the Pine Cone where she writes a tearful letter (doing very well in her latest scene with an inanimate object, a desk) and regards a box of insect poison...


This all gay recap is by C.K..
Read all the All Gay Re-caps at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheAllGayRecap/.

The Set-Up – At BJ’s, Greenlee is moody: she doesn’t want to be one of many in the “chorus line” of Juan Pablo’s life.  Get out Greenlee, get out while you can!

Mia rushes in, looking for Aiden.  Should we worry that everyone seems to be finding whomever they need in a bar?  Is there a rampant but secret alcoholism problem in Pine Valley?


At Enchantment, Kendall has not yet stopped sobbing.

At the penthouse, Bianca says she has “explored all of [her] options” and has decided to have an abortion because that’s what “most women in [her] situation” choose to do.  Way to go Bianca, be a sheep and follow the pack!  I'm pro-choice, but if you're going to have an abortion because everyone else is doing it, I think thunderstorms will be the last of your problems.

Bianca: “I am so sick of going over and over the same question, again and again, having everyone look at me like I’m a bomb about to explode.  […]”

Well, removing the clock with the countdown that hangs from your neck might help, Binky.

Tempo – Chesty LaRue interrupts Beastmund’s enjoyment of Michael’s high tech streaming video.

Maria: “It’s so damn unfair what happens to these, these poor – these young, innocent, beautiful girls who’ve got their whole lives in front of them and are full of promise and then someone like Cambias comes in and rapes her and then walks.”

Aside from the plural subject and the singular verb…did she just say beautiful women should not be raped?  Ok then, let’s line up the plain and ugly chicks!  Come on, all in a row, let’s go!  Are you old? Have you sinned?  Head of the line for you!

Maria continues in her righteous path of vengeance and warns that, should Michael ever end up in her ER…what, he’ll drown under all that silicone?  Put down that knife before you ruin that picnic, Maria.

The Penthouse –Bianca wants to have the abortion as soon as possible; David agrees to perform it and schedules it for the following day.  I’m pretty sure Casey vs. Planner Parenthood established a 24-hour waiting period, but why be picky?  I disagree with it anyway, so who cares?  I mean, why make abortion available to those who choose it when we can make them take three days off work instead?  The law is equal for everyone, especially the indigent: none of them get what they need.

Enchantment – Ryan’s index finger is about to make contact with Kendall’s curls, but is scared off by a knock on the door; before opening it, Kendall walks to Ryan’s hiding place, stares at the door but doesn’t walk into the room: the FBI trained you, didn’t it?

Kendall tells Boyd she tried to explain to Erica what really happened with Michael, but she didn’t want to hear it.  I think it was more a case of inability to hear since Kendall didn’t say much after stating that she married the man who was most like her daddy, but why be fussy about the details?

BJ’s – Aiden tells Mia he thinks Kendall is capable of killing Michael, but not of marrying him and, therefore, he still doesn’t believe her story.

At a different table, Greenlee doesn’t know what she wants from Juan Pablo, who thinks Greenlee has him on the witness stand and wonders when she’ll let him “get off on it.”  For your own peace of mind – and mine - I hope he'll never get off “on” it because that would lead to me recapping it and all those dreams I keep on having about the Coke machine at Foggy Bottoms.  Don't ask.

They try to leave, but are stopped at the door by Erica’s portrait.  That thing is seriously hideous.

Greenlee: “Val, you don’t have one of those shrine things going, do you?  Little bobble head Erica dolls and pieces of her clothing?”

Heh, bobble head Erica.  Does it come with a motor?

Enchantment – Boyd is the sweetest guy Kendall has ever known, but she doesn’t want to molest him.  He tells her that, on the way home, he read a sign with a notice of demolition for a certain building, something which makes Kendall shoot up from her chair so fast I think she must have seen a rat, followed by a raccoon and a wild hog.

The Boathouse – What’s on Maggie’s feet, a reproduction of Noah’s Arc?  She dares Bianca to go swimming and threatens to push her in.  Not if she pushes you first!  I dare you!  No, double dare you!  No, double dog dare you!  No, triple dog dare  you!  Fack this, I hope you drown.

Lena arrives and stops just outside to watch and listen as the kids play; she seems so happy that Bianca is having fun: there is not an ounce of resentment that she’s joking around with someone other than herself.  I’m pretty sure that’s called selflessness and maturity.  Hear that, Maggie?

Enchantment – Kendall really doesn’t want that building to be demolished because “if they sift through the wreckage, they cold find – “ something that even Boyd doesn’t want anyone to find: his collection of Ken dolls.  Kendall locks the door and they rush off to save G.I. Joe.

Back inside, Ryan walks out of his hiding place and realizes he’s locked in: whatever will he do – other than pick the lock to get out?  Nothing: he’ll pick the lock to get out.

The Boathouse – After the swim, Bianca tells Maggie she’s scared but also relieved because of the decision she’s made.

Bianca: “[…]  But at least, by tomorrow, I won’t be pregnant anymore.”

And that’s how Lena finds out Bianca’s pregnant – because she’s still there, crouched behind a bush, listening, like the Stalker 0.5 that she is.  I know you're glad Bianca seems happy, but, Lena: you should have left.  I get that you needed to stay so that this plot could move forward, but other fans - *cough* BAMmers *cough* - will just think you're a stalker.

Bianca: “[…]  What if the power hadn’t gone out that night?  What if I hadn’t gone home alone, what if I hadn’t gone to Myrtle’s at all?  You know, Lena and I were in the park that day, planning for our future.  What if she hadn’t left with Adam, what if we had just taken off right then and there and gone to Brussels, or to Rome?”

But – that wasn’t in the folder!  GeekyFolderItineray!Lena was going to take you to Stuttgart to see the, huh, hotel. 

Maggie: “What if Lena never came into your life?  And what if Lena and Michael ran their scam in some other town or state?  Then it wouldn’t have mattered if you came home by yourself, it wouldn’t have mattered if the lights went out: you would have been safe.”
Bianca: “You can’t blame Lena for any of this: she’s as much Michael’s victim as anyone else and she has suffered for it.”

Grammar: check into it, Maggie, before I throw my book at you and misjudge the curve and hit you squarely in the face.   

Maggie’s logic can’t be impugned because, earlier today, I was thinking about the recap and I walked into a wall; while hopping, I hit my knee and then my head and I blamed you guys, so it follows that Michael raped Lena and, because Lena knows him, it’s her fault Bianca was raped.  Since it was Kendall who brought him to town, it’s her fault.  And it’s Jack’s fault, too, because he wasn’t able to keep Michael in jail overnight and it’s Erica’s fault because she would have made such a bad witness that she chose not to report her own assault.  It’s also Adam’s fault, because he needed Lena to talk to the guy in Hong Kong and Myrtle’s fault for not having invested in better locks for the boarding house.  It’s Boyd’s fault, too, because he was at S.O.S. for Henry’s first gig and, since Maggie was there with him, it’s her fault, too.  And it's God's fault, because there was a storm!

s illogical and stupid and damaging and absurd as Maggie’s logic may be, I can’t really snark it: “what if” games are not about logic and they’re not about facts: they’re about gut reactions and stupidity, something with which Maggie is well acquainted.  I can’t snark on it because Lena, who seems not to have thought about this, nonetheless agrees – and not because she’s being schmoopy: she agrees because she loves Bianca and needs a simple explanation and something she can hold onto, something or someone to blame– and there it is.  It doesn't matter to her that Bianca disagrees: Lena has been so quick to blame herself for everything, from the disc fiasco to the rising tides, that she's only too happy - though devastated - to put a pin on this sin, too.  Maggie pushes her over, but Lena has been standing on the edge for weeks.

Maggie: “I hate to say it but, you know, she deserves to suffer because, if it wasn’t for her, then she would have never have led Michael into your life.”

I hate to say it, but you're a moron and, while I was willing to believe you really did have Bianca's interest at heart when you held Lena at bay, now I think you were obsessively scheming how to keep Bianca all to yourself.  That whole Vermont speech was shit, too, because, in that stupid scenario of yours, Bianca would have been in the passenger seat for you to marry and Lena would have been in the trunk, bound and gagged.

Tempo – Ryan interrupts the porn that surely would have followed had Beastmund and Chesty LaRue continued to hug with the news that he might have a lead on Michael.  Scene’s over.

Pier 23 – A fence that doesn’t even go above his head stops Boyd from making his way onto the other side.  He’s afraid of the barking dogs recording, too, so Kendall – I’m sorry, Mrs. Michael Cambias – springs into action and makes a call.

BJ’s – JP says something to Greenlee about using pain to broker a deal; at the bar, Mia is Aiden’s drinking buddy: she’s chasing the beer with a straw: excellent choice.

Pier 23 – Kendall calls the demolition guy, Spinelli, to inform him that she’s “Mrs. Michael Cambias” and will break his kneecaps unless he agrees to meet with her to discuss a certain demolition.

The Roach Motel – Is this what a “great job(Maggie, TM) gets you these days? 

Lena, stunned, walks in, closes the door and leans against it.  She walks to a desk and begins writing:

My sweet Bianca,

I’m so sorry for not understanding.  All the times I forced my way into your life, begged to give us another chance; I now know how painful that was for you: every time I made you look at me all you could see was Michael.  And now the unbearable has happened: you’re pregnant.  You did nothing to deserve such torment: I’m the one who should suffer because I’m the one who brought Michael into your life.  Please know that my only wish was to love you.  If only I knew some way to make it right, but it’s too late.”

Bianca will never see this note: Lena tears it up and crumples it, muttering that “it’s too late.”  Oh, fine: tear it up after I made my girlfriend pause this scene 30 times so that I could transcribe it.  I’m fine about it, FINE!

The Penthouse – Automaton Bianca reads a note from her mother: she simply had to go to “sleep:” who’s going to turn up dead next, Kendall?

Bianca thinks Erica will be happy now that she has decided to have an abortion, but Maggie wonders whether Bianca has made her choice to please her mother.  So – Maggie is the wheel, the cog in the wheel and VolderFetus’ conscience?  Your fans will just beat down that door, won’t they Maggie?  

The Boathouse – Over a xylophone, Juan Pablo muses that the set is “charming.”  Greenlee begins spinning The Story Of Leo and tells him he knew “the best and worst” of her and still loved her: I’m sure that his past as a con artist had noting to do with that. 

The Last Scenes –
At the penthouse, Bianca is angry with Maggie for questioning her decision to abort VolderFetus, but then changes her mind because she remembers Voldemort was not only a story about love, but a story about their deepening friendship.  It’s deep, very deep: any deeper and it’ll drop to the bottom of the well.

“You know what Maggie, it's a good thing that you and I never hooked up because, god, what a mess that would have been.”
Maggie: “Oh, don’t worry about it: you’re not my type, either.”
Bianca: “Oh, you know what I mean.  I mean, our friendship – it would have totally screwed everything up and I don’t think I would have survived any of this without you.  Thank you.”

I'm starting to wonder about Maggie's sexuality: oh, she's still straight, but her Bianca obsession is so deep that she'd elbow any lesbian out of her way: she won't have sex with Bianca, but she'll drive to suicide anyone who wants to.

In her room, Lena speaks to a frame.

Lena: “If only you knew how much…it’s all for you.”

I hope Bianca’s picture is in there because otherwise the kissing thing is just weird, Lena. 

Crying, Lena picks up the box of bug poison.  So, this is your parting gift to Bianca?  You think she’ll be relieved to know you killed yourself?  What are you using, Maggie’s logic?

AMC has finally come full circle with the Lesbian Trifecta: one was murdered, one was raped and the third is about to commit suicide: it’s The Well Of Loneliness, The Children's Hour and The Killing Of Sister George all in one!  Let the media never take into account that, for every one of those stories, there is a Rubyfruit Jungle, an Annie On My Mind or a Patience And Sarah to level the scales!  Happy lesbians?  What, are you nuts? 

There is a casual cruelty to this because Lena is both the least and the most likely candidate for such a drastic action: the least likely because she has survived and risen above much, much worse, beginning with the incarceration and death of her father and ending with the abuse she’s suffered at Michael’s hands.  She’s the most likely candidate because, when it comes to love, she’s a child: she has never loved before and has never invested herself so completely in anyone else, so it stands to reason that, like a child, she should think about a solution to the problem as she sees it in the simplest of terms.

At the boathouse, Juan Pablo refuses to kiss Greenlee because the place “belonged to [her] and Leo” and he doesn’t want to disrespect her memories.  They step out, Greenlee points out they’re no longer in forbidden territory and he swallows her face.  Dear god man, you need only kiss her mouth, not her whole head!

At BJ’s, Mia is drunk and almost falls off the stool - but not before seeing two Aidens and asking that he "speak American;" Aiden breaks the fall and carries her out, fireman style.  Where are they going?  Let's follow the vomit trail: great idea there, Limey.  Ah, drunken humor: there’s nothing better. 

In Beastmund's office, Ryan and Beastmund have something “huge” and no, it’s not in their pants. 

Ryan: “That’s why me finding Michael Cambias is my number one priority.  I want to be right in his face when I pull the pin: I promised his old man.”

Skulking around did nothing for you, did it?  Kendall and Boyd practically spelled out that Michael’s body is in a building at the pier and you think he’s alive?  Nothing big for you, not in your pants and not in your head.

At enchantment, Kendall sees the door to the office is open, but is satisfied with Boyd’s theory that the cleaning crew must have left it that way.  That’s right, because the cleaning crew would never ever relock a locked door.  Ever.

Kendall tells Boyd she needs to strategize so that Mr. Spinelli won’t demolish the building.  Spinelli, because anyone in construction must be Italo-American and with a last name that, in Italian slang, means joints - as in pot, not knee.



This parody is by LizzieT.

Ryan continued to hide at Enchantment.
Kendall: ::::sob sob::::I'm so sad. I must be so sad I'm going deaf because I can't hear approaching footsteps or someone breathing right behind me. ::sob sob::::
Boyd: Kendall, let me in! It's Boyd!
Ryan: Who the heck is Boyd? Did Pine Valley have a population explosion while I was gone? Oh well, back to hiding.
Boyd: What's wrong Kendall?
Kendall: Erica hates me. My friends hate me. Even Val hates me and he's not even a contract player. But I knew that might happen when we .....you know.
Boyd: Maybe Erica will come around when she finds out why we....you know.
Kendall: Why did you need to talk to me? Is it about.....you know.
Boyd: It's bad news. They're tearing down the building where....you know.
Kendall: :::gasp::: But if they tear down the building then they might find.....you know. I have to stop them. I can't let ...you know....end like this.
Boyd: I know.

Aidan was drinking at BJ's.
Mia: Why are you drinking?
Aidan: Oi can't figure out whot's going on with Kendall and Moichael Cambias.
Mia: Neither can anyone else. I hear liquor sales are up all over the country. Oh bartender, I'll have what he's having.
Aidan: Whoi are yew joining me?
Mia: I thought maybe if you were drunk enough you'd let me be in your storyline.
Aidan: Never appen mite. Oi ave a real ed for the drink.
Mia: So do I. :::burp::::Oh barthender, bring me anosher round.:::clunk::::
Aidan: Blimey! Oi never saw anyone get loik that on Diet 7-up.

Maria was visiting Edmund.
Maria: I hate Michael Cambias for everything he's done.
Edmund: Too late Maria. We missed the suspect list by a couple of weeks.
Maria: Rats. I thought maybe we could get in on this storyline. It's too bad he can't be brought in to the hospital and need brain surgery. I could kill him with one stroke of my scapel.
Edmund: That might even make up for the whole Bahamas debacle.
Ryan: Hi everyone. I'm still running around the most prominent businesses in town hoping no one sees me.
Edmund: Maria, this is Ryan.
Maria: Oh. You used to be married to Gillian didn't you?
Ryan: Right. And you used to be dead. It's nice to meet you.
Maria: Come visit us at Wildwind sometime.
Ryan: I will as soon as this Michael Cambias mystery winds down.
Maria: So sometime after February Sweeps?
Ryan: You got it. Edmund, I need to find out what building is about to be torn down in Pine Valley. Kendall was very upset about it. It might be a clue.
Edmund: Will you tell me why you're here in Pine Valley in the first place?
Ryan: I'll tell you but you won't believe it.
Edmund: Forget about me. Will the audience believe it?
Ryan: The audience? Forget about them. We haven't dragged this out nearly long enough to let them in on it. Now let's cut to commercial.
::::After the commercial::::
Edmund: Wow! What a stunning plot twist! Whooo boy, if the audience knew about this they'd be shocked.

Lena returned home in tears.
Lena: Excuse me, but what am I doing living at the Pine Cone? Don't I still have a job working for Greenlee's grandfather? What's going on here anyway.
Producer: We need to show the extent of your sadness.
Lena: Can't I look sad in a suite at the Valley Inn?
Producer: No. This room will make the audience feel the depths of your despair. It's the room that Aidan and Maureen used to share.
Lena: :::sob:::Now I'm really depressed::::sob::::


Unverified in non-clip parts

***** (clip a) [Lena secretly watches as Bianca and Maggie cavort at the boat house]

Maggie: Oh, look, we have the whole place to ourselves.
Bianca: Oh, it's a beautiful night. Don't you like this time of year?
Maggie: Yes.
Bianca: Oh, wow, the air is so crisp and everything looks so clear.
Maggie: And it'll be exactly the same this time next year -- the whole circle of life.
Bianca: Mmm. Do you feel that breeze coming off the water?
[Lena walks by the boathouse and hears Maggie and Bianca and listens without either ladies knowing she's there]
Maggie: Mm-hmm. It's total indian summer -- not too hot, not to cold -- to go swimming. Ooh, i dare you.
Bianca: No way. Are you kidding me? The water's probably freezing.
Maggie: Oh, what's the worst that could happen? You get popsicle toes?
Bianca: No, frostbite.
Maggie: Oh, you are such a wuss.
Bianca: I am not a wuss.
Maggie: Ok, I dare you.
Bianca: You dare me? No. I am sorry. I don't have a swimsuit.
Maggie: Neither do i. Who cares? Come on.
Bianca: Oh, my god, you're so crazy.
Maggie: I know. Come on. Do i have to push you in?
Bianca: Are you serious?
Maggie: Oh, yeah.
Bianca: Well, I might push you first.
Maggie: Let's see. Come on, we have to do this. The summer is almost over. Come on. On the count of three.
Bianca: Oh, my god!
Maggie: One --
bianca: One --
maggie and bianca: Two, three!
Maggie: Oh, you are such a rat! Come on!
Bianca: This time for sure.
Maggie: Ok, bianca, you have to do it.
Bianca: Oh, my god.
Maggie: Ok? Ready?
Bianca: Mm-hmm.
Maggie and bianca: One, two, three!
[They jump into the water]
bianca: Oh, my god! Oh, it's freezing!
[Maggie and bianca laugh]

***** (clip b) [Maggie blames Lena for Bianca's problems and Bianca defends Lena while Lena is still unnoticed]

Bianca: Oh, why did I let you talk me into this? That was freezing.
Maggie: Oh, come on, you loved it.
Bianca: No, it was freezing. I did not love it.
Maggie: Yes, you did.
Bianca: I am one big goose bump.
Maggie: Oh, but it made you feel so alive, right? Oh, gosh. Are you ok?
Bianca: I'm scared.
Maggie: I know. You know, there was a girl in my dorm. She went through the same thing last term. She was really scared, too.
Bianca: How did she deal with it?
Maggie: She talked to a counselor. The counselor told her that it was completely normal to be afraid and scared and it was ok to be sad.
Bianca: The counselor was right. I don't think I'm going to sleep tonight. But at least by tomorrow, I won't be pregnant anymore. Hiding from blemishes?
[Lena looks shocked]
Bianca: You know, whenever i think about that night -- which is all the time -- I think about what i could have done differently so that things wouldn't have turned out the way they did and then i wouldn't be pregnant and I wouldn't need to keep this appointment at the clinic tomorrow. I keep asking myself, what if?
Maggie: Those "what ifs" can really tear you apart.
Bianca: I know, but I can't help it. They're stuck in my brain. What if the power hadn't gone out that night? What if I hadn't gone home alone? What if I hadn't gone to myrtle's at all? What if -- you know, lena and i were in the park that day planning for our future. What if she hadn't left with adam? What if we had just taken off right then and there and gone to brussels or to rome?
Maggie: And what if lena never came into your life? And what if lena and michael ran their scam in some other town or some other state? Then it wouldn't have mattered if you came home by yourself or it wouldn't have mattered if the lights went out. You would have been safe.
Bianca: No, you can't blame lena for any of this. She is as much michael's victim as anyone else, and she has suffered for it.
Maggie: Well, I hate to say it, but you know what? She deserves to suffer. Because if it wasn't for her, then she would never have led michael into your life.
[Lena, pretty disheartened, leaves the boat house area]
Bianca: None of this is lena's fault. No, michael did what he did all by himself.
Maggie: We should get you home. Tomorrow's going to be a really big day.
Bianca: Right. Big day.

***** (clip c) [A disheartened Lena writes Bianca a note and then throws it away]

Lena: Bianca.
Lena's voice: "My sweet bianca, I'm so sorry for not understanding. All the times I forced my way into your life, begged you to give us another chance. I know now how painful that was for you. Every time i made you look at me, all you could see was michael. And now the unbearable has happened -- you're pregnant. You did nothing to deserve such torment. I'm the one who should suffer because I'm the one who brought michael into your life. Please know that my only wish was to love you. If only I knew some way to make it right, but it's too late."
Lena: It's too late.

***** (clip d) [A sad Lena looks at some insecticide]

Lena: If only you knew how much. It's all for you.


If you are aware of any of the following clips from this episode, please contact me ASAP, Kym: Clip A-D

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