Whoosh! Lena quickly put the clothes back in the closet and pretended Kendall had never came to see her
Everything on this show takes long enough

Lena Kundera

September 25, 2003

(Lena in Next on AMC)
Last update: 10/03/03

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Lena Kundera (Olga Sosnovska)
Dr. Dave


Next on AMC: Dr. Dave tells Lena that Michael's dead. Lena says "That took long enough" (Ain't that the truth!). Is the Hot Polish Fox getting back her bite? STAY TUNED!


From The Official Site at ABC.com:

No Lena mention

From About All My Children

Tad asks Liza, “You are prescribing mindless sex and one night stands to me?”
When David tells Lena that Cambias is dead and they just found his body, she smiles as she says that took long enough!
Opal asks Adam what kind of deviltry he was up to the night that Michael Cambias disappeared?
Kendall cries, “How could he still be alive?”

From Soap Slut

No Lena mention


This all gay recap is by C.K..
Read all the All Gay Re-caps at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheAllGayRecap/.

Lena parts are indicated in red for those who only want a Lena fix


  • Greenlee and Juan Pablo stop.
  • Myrtle comes with anvils.
  • Kendall clears the air.
  • Jack wears a star.
  • Juan Pablo points the finger.
  • Simone wants a man.
  • Liza has a deal.
  • Popsicle winks.

The Set-Up – In the suite, Greenlee and Juan Pablo compare and contrast, then they kiss and first I go blind, then deaf. Really, I don’t need to hear the kiss, mmmk?

Blink Popsicle, blink! Jack and Edmund get into a spat about ethics. Ethics? On this show? The show that gave us the Lesbian Stereotype Trifecta, lingered on an attempted suicide for 4.3 seconds and gave more airtime to Erica’s portrait? You must be joking.

At the penthouse, Bianca is asleep on the kiddie couch again; she dreams fuzzy dreams of Kendall and Michael, who are there to take her not-procedure-d kid and raise it. That’s ok Binky: you only have 6 ˝ months of dreams like this left: after that, you can just look at the baby. The door slowly opens and Bianca shrinks – because the door! At Myrtle! It was locked!

At the Pink Panther Sauna, Greenlee and Ryan are separated by a wall.

The Penthouse - Myrtle! Don’t tell me: we’re about to get a moment of honest to goodness common sense? Oh, and she looks smashing. I love Myrtle, the best Drunken Scot Ever!

Bianca has decided to get counseling at the hospital. Well, I guess that means Lena won’t get any. Or maybe they’ll meet in the waiting room, ‘cause they’ll have the same counselor. That’s good news then: we’ll get the weekly "I love you, Bianca" followed by "I can’t do this right now, Lena." Excellent.

Myrtle sees many good things in Bianca’s future; in fact, she used to make lots of money reading palms when she was a Carney. She takes Bianca’s hand, gives it a glance and hums.

The Warehouse – Jack couldn’t be happier that *ssHat is covered in freezer burns and hopes he’ll never find the killer; Edmund will quote him on that and the Detective will take his statement. He’ll take everyone’s statements, including Erica’s and Bianca’s, which makes the prop man lower a hat on Jack’s head while he mumbles "I am the law in this town and I decide who is off limits and who is not around here, pissant" around a cigar.  Meh, I think he should have been chewing tobacco during that scene: they don’t make Westerns like they used to.

Juan Pablo’s Suite – Greenlee doesn’t want to listen to the voices in her head anymore because Anne Heche took all the fun out of it. She and Juan Pablo agree to take things slowly, then play a game of "what ifs" that includes gondola rides in Venice, the space station and Russian friends Juan Pablo might be able to bribe. My first girlfriend used to make me play this game all the time, except that her questions were a bit more, oh, esoteric. "What if you were dating a woman who turned out to really be a man who is in the process of becoming a woman and will undergo all the surgeries except for ‘the big one,’ and what if it turned out that she’s also married and has a family that lives behind the Iron Curtain?" Yeah, that was great fun.

Greenlee switches on the TV and finds out Michael has been killed. Naturally, she thinks Kendall did Popsicle in.

The Pink Panther Sauna – Simone, Mia and Liza walk in, still dressed, because something told them Kendall would be inside. Simone has clearly been sharing the closet with Kendall because the orchid on her dress could swallow me whole while snacking on a baby elephant.

They have a pitch: it has to do with the sexiest man context, so I doze off. I wake up when Liza proposes to swap her Chandler stock for Fusion stock, which she’ll then redistribute to reflect the makeup of Fusion pre-Mrs. Michael Cambias, but which will make Simone and Mia partners, as well.  In return, Kendall will help save Fusion and get a slice of the Chandler pie. Kendall is a reasonable woman – "get off your *ss, you suicidal nothing!" routine notwithstanding – and she only has one condition. Ryan wants to know what it is, too: I can tell ‘cause his brows are furrowed.

The Penthouse – Myrtle sees love in Bianca’s future and "this time it’s going to stay."

Bianca: "You read that in there?"

No, lower.

Myrtle: "And you’re going to be open to it and you’re going to love all the joy and happiness it brings you."
Bianca: "Will this be an old love or a new love?"

Oh, that’s an interesting question: you thinking about, oh, I dunno, Lena maybe?

Myrtle: "I can’t be quite sure. Now, it’s someone who is going to rely on you and trust you and see you are just everything and is going to teach you how beautiful everything in the world can be, is going to give you happiness and joy and will help to make you forget all this terror and horror you have had."

The alarming thing is, Myrtle, knowingly or not, is talking about the kid, but that description fits Lena perfectly. So, I guess we’re saying Lena’s an overgrown infant. Splendid!

The Pink Panther Sauna – Kendall will agree to Liza’s proposal on condition that all of them join her at the reception and drink a toast to her and Michael. Didn’t Kendall cancel the reception yesterday? And why is she still such a moron? Kendall, the gig is up.

Simone: "Kendall, it’s in real poor taste, even for you."

Feh, you share the closet once and everyone’s a critic!

Kendall: "I want you to trust me and believe that I had reasons, very good reasons, for doing what I did."
Fusion women: "You did?"
Fusion women: "What reasons?"
Fusion women: "What are your reasons?"
"My reasons for what?"
Fusion women: "For marrying Michael."
"I married Michael? Oh, yes, right: I married him and I had good reasons to."
Fusion women: "What reasons?"

Greenlee interrupts with news of Michael.

Greenlee: "I may or may not be bringing you bad news. […] The police found Michael’s body in a warehouse by the docks."

Heh. Good news! But bad news for Kendall. Aww. Let’s all turn around and look at Kendall as if she were the killer.

Juan Pablo’s Suite – Carlos says he "doubled back to make sure" no one followed him. There’s a joke here, you know, but I’m to classy to make it. Ahem.

Juan Pablo tells Carlos that *ssHat was found dead and then asks whether he’s the killer.

Juan Pablo: "I ask you because I know how you feel about rapists. Has that changed? […] Carlos, did you do it again? Did you kill Michael Cambias?"

Yeah, yeah: the mystery keeps on myster…huh…ing.

The Penthouse – Myrtle is off to read Erica’s palm now that she’s got her mojo back; Bianca and Jack tag-team and make sure she gets into the elevator without falling.

Fusion – Greenlee, Liza, Mia and Simone celebrate the news of Fudgesicle’s death with ice cream which, well, is only fitting. They all worry about Fusion’s future – except for Simone, who just wants a man because men are the answer to everything. Oh, yeah? What’s 2+2?  Pfft.

Simone: "All I’m saying is that a little happy time at my place would help me forget about what a backstabber Kendall is."

Hum, did you say you wanted a man? ‘Cause that is the largest exchange of HoHay looks I have ever seen. You’re all so gay, gayer than the gay people!

The Warehouse – Lt. Perry – s***, I’ve been demoting him all this time? – kicks Beastmund’s *ss out of the warehouse and then finds out Kendall owns it. Back to 2+2, are we?

The Pink Panther Spa – Outside, Kendall calls Boyd and sets Plan B into motion. Inside, Ryan is still without a shirt. Please, put one on now.

Erica walks in and sees him. Is it really him? She’s not sure, so she pokes his arm. Yup, same muscle, same vintage. She promises not to tell anyone he’s in town: her lips, she says, are sealed.

Ryan: "And they’re such beautiful lips."

Please help me: I’m drowning in a pool of ick. On the other hand, when’s the last time anyone got any action on this soap? On the third hand, Erica was engaged to Ryan’s father, Chris, who died saving that bratty kid to the notes of Moby. On the fourth hand, since when do such things matter on a soap? Yeah, I’m done now.

The Last Scenes – At Fusion, Greenlee says none of them will find real love by resorting to "quickies" and she doesn’t want to wreck what she has with "Buan Pablow." Poor man, they’re f***ing up his name at every turn. Simone says her guy is out there somewhere.

Simone: "I’m totally ready to throw myself into the arms of the next man I see."

Oh, look: Tad just walked in. Anvil, anyone?

In the suite, Juan Pablo is still trying to figure out whether Carlos killed Michael. JP, no one gives a damn.

Edmund and Ryan chat in the most popular spot in town: the park. Yes, Ryan is still hiding and in a mood because Popsicle won’t be at the party. He thinks his secret will steal the pants off of everyone. Really? I know you’re Alexander’s heir and I’ve got two pairs of pants on: what does that tell you - other than I'm, huh, odd?

At the penthouse, Jack tells Bianca that Michael "will never threaten [her] or anybody else again." What the hell are you waiting for, a new pair of fuzzy, pink slippers? Tell the girl the man is dead!

Jack: "He’s dead. I saw the body myself."
Bianca: "How did he die?"

See, this is the problem with people who worry about others: they can’t enjoy the moment. Bianca, worry about Reggie later, mmmk? *ssHat is dead; it’s time to think of a new boogie man for your nightmares: how does Maggie sound?

At the warehouse, Kendall arrives with an attitude. She take a look at Michael, who swings around on the hook and winks. Bwah ha ha ha! Oh, I’m so happy it’s finally happened: I’ve been waiting and waiting for this!

Oh, Kendall fainted. *Snort*

TOMORROW ON AMC: Liza prescribes Tad some mindless sex and one-night stands; David tells Lena Michael’s body has been found; Opal wants to know what Adam was doing the night Michael disappeared; Kendall thinks Michael might still be alive.


This commentary is by K. Faygen.

Today we were unfortunate enough to catch a glimpse of Lena's wardrobe for tomorrow.

More shabby hospital fair.

Here's hoping the news of Michael's death not only puts a smile on her face...but puts thoughts of Chanel in mind as well.


This parody is by LizzieT.

No Lena parts today because there was no Lena in the actual show, only the "Next on AMC" who only want a Lena fix

Greenlee and Juan Pablo discussed their relationship.
Greenlee: I don't think we should have sex just yet.
Juan Pablo: I do not understand.
Greenlee: Always before I jumped into a relationship without thinking. I want this time to be different.
Juan Pablo: I see. I cannot help but wish that I was not the one you wanted to be different with.
Greenlee: Tell me Juan Pablo. If I wanted to ride a gondola would you take me to Vegas?
Juan Pablo: Gondolas are in Venice. Why would you think I would take you to Vegas?
Greenlee: I don't know. For some reason, Las Vegas has been on my mind lately. I know, let's watch TV.
Juan Pablo: Ahh, you must be expecting a newsbreak. No one in your town watches tv unless they want to hear breaking news that effects their storyline.
Announcer: I have breaking news that effects your storyline. We are delighted to announce that Michael Cambias has been found dead. The Mayor has declared tomorrow a city wide holiday beginning with a parade and ending with free popsicles for everyone in town.
Greenlee: :::gasp:::I think I know who killed him.
Juan Pablo: :::gasp::: I think I know who killed him.

Later Juan Pablo talked to Carlos.
Juan Pablo: Michael Cambias is dead.
Carlos: I know. I had a hard time getting through the conga line dancing down Main Street.
Juan Pablo: Did you kill him?
Carlos: Why would you think that?
Juan Pablo: You have killed before. You said he deserved to die. You're an expendable character who has been thrust into this storyline for no apparent reason.
Carlos: Well, if you're going to nitpick.

Over at the warehouse the detective had some questions for Jack.
Detective: Where were you the night Michael disappeared?
Jack: Surely you don't think I'm a suspect.
Detective: You've been overheard saying you wanted him dead. Your niece was his victim.
Edmund: And you just said that you wished the body had never been found.
Jack: Well, if you're going to nitpick. Wait a minute Edmund, what are you doing here?
Edmund: Just trying to get into the frontburner story anyway I can.
Detective: Now I have to question Erica and Bianca.
Jack: Oh no you don't! They're off limits when it comes to questioning.
Detective: Why?
Jack: No reason. It's not like I think either one of them could have done it. No sir, not a chance of that.

Ryan was lurking and listening in the steamroom.
Kendall: Ahh, finally some peace and quiet.
Simone: There you are Kendall. We've been looking everywhere for you
Liza: I have a proposition for you about Fusion.
Mia: Wow, they need to turn down the heat in this place. It's full of steam.
Kendall: What do you want?
Simone: Our Sexiest Man contest ends next week.
Audience: ::::zzzzzzzz:::::
Liza: Wake up out there. This could be important. Kendall, I'll trade you all my Chandler stock for your Fusion stock.
Kendall: How would that help me? I already own controlling interest in both companies.
Liza: This way you won't get stuck in the next ridiculous promotion TPTB come up with to make it look like Fusion is a real storyline.
Kendall: I'm in.
Greenlee: Kendall, have you heard the news? Michael has been found dead.
Ryan: I don't believe this. This place is busier than the boathouse.
Mia: Wow. If Michael is dead then that makes you an orphan.
Greenlee: They're saying he was murdered.
Kendall: Why is everyone looking at me? You don't think I killed him do you?
Simone: Well, you did tell everyone you'd see him dead.
Liza: Aidan found you brewing up a pot of poison flower juice.
Greenlee: And the night he disappeared you were running around with a knife strapped to your leg.
Kendall: Well, if you're going to nitpick.

Kendall went to the warehouse.
Kendall: I'm the widow of Michael Cambias. May I see the Slugsicle - I mean my beloved husband.
Detective: Prepare yourself maam. It's pretty gruesome.
Kendall: I've seen gruesome Detective. Remember, I married the man.
Michael: Boo!
Kendall: Ahhhhhhhhh! :::clunk::::
Lizzie: Ahhhhhhh! ::::clunk::::::
Michael: Hehehehehehehehehehe! Just when you thought it was safe to open your deep freeze.


David: Cambias is dead. They just found his body.
Lena: That took long enough.


Unverified in non-clip parts

***** (clip a) [Next on AMC: Lena happy at Michael's death]

Announcer: On the next "all my children"
tad: You're prescribing mindless sex and one-night stands to me.
[amc030925a-inc starts]
David: Cambias is dead. They just found his body.
Lena: That took long enough.
[amc030925a-inc ends]
Opal: What kind of deviltry were you up to the night that michael cambias disappeared?
Kendall: How could he still be alive?


I have the following incomplete clips:
amc030925a-inc.mpg (1.6m; 0:09) Next on AMC: Lena happy at Michael's death.

If anyone has complete clips or access to a videotape or other media with full clips on them, please contact me ASAP, Kym

The above described clips can also be found on my shared folder on AIM (http://www.aim.com to download). My user name on AIM is kymtaborn. E-mail me with your AIM user name (ktaborn@lightspeed.net) and I will give you access to the shared folder. When you have access, you can right click my user name on your buddy list and then click on get file. That should get you into the shared folder. If you have problems, then tweak your firewall. The downloads are slow because it has to go through the AIM filter AND often there are a lot of people downloading along with you. I apologize for the slow speed but this is the only way that I can distribute the clips at this time.

I am eliciting volunteers to host the clips throughout the web. If you have 5-25megs of space you can lend to this project, please let me know!

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