Ever wonder what a dating couple looks like?
ALL GAY RE-CAP
Lena Kundera (Olga Sosnovska)
Bianca and Lena have some quiet time together where they discuss a lot of stuff, some minor, some major.
From The Official Site at ABC.com:
http://abc.go.com/daytime/allmychildren/episodes/2004-05/20040304.htmlBianca feels optimistic about the future and is happy to have Lena in her life. Lena admits to Bianca that she has been going to therapy sessions. Maggie enjoys her time with Jamie but becomes melancholy while thinking of Bianca. Maggie asks Jamie to be her new roommate and later informs Bianca and Lena.
From About All My Children
http://allmychildren.about.com/cs/recaps/a/bl20040304r.htmBianca is lying on the sofa with her head in Lena's lap as Lena reads to her from Shakespeare, Miranda marveling at the brave new world. Bianca asks how much she loves that scene? Miranda is so excited when she finds out about all the other people that exist in the world! The baby kicks, and Bianca sighs this feels so right. A few days ago, she doesn't think she could have imagined this kind of peace. Now, for the first time in a long time, she feels really and truly happy with her life. Lena smiles, her hand resting on Bianca's growing belly, and Bianca covers her hand with her own...
Lena smiles that pregnant women really do glow. Bianca says it's finally sinking in that everything is going to be okay; she'll have this baby, and she's going to be healthy and safe and beautiful. Lena thinks her mother is very beautiful. Bianca sighs that the only world this little girl knows is safe and warm inside her mother's belly; she has no idea about all the people waiting to welcome her into her new world, and to love her, "Just like Miranda in The Tempest. " She hopes, in time, Erica will accept this baby-she'll have to learn to love her. The baby kicks again, and Bianca says she'll be here so soon, and they have nothing-she's not prepared to bring a baby into this house. She has to go and buy everything! Lena insists the baby shower will take care of that, but Bianca notes the gifts are never practical, "Oh my god, this is going to cost a fortune!" Lena laughs that her child has just inherited Cambias Industries, and she is the trustee; she doubts that money is ever going to be a problem-Bianca probably owns some company that makes some of this stuff! Bianca wants to go shopping right away, but is thrilled when Lena gets the laptop and points out the sites she's marked as favorites in case Bianca wanted to surf the Net...
Bianca has a great time shopping online, saying Maggie has been after her for months to do this. She reflects that it's going to be weird not having her around, but assures Lena she's not rethinking the house. She asks Lena if it bothers her that she wants to live alone? Lena says not at all. Bianca doesn't want to hurt her; she feels they're on the road back and it feels great, but she doesn't know that they're ready to live together. Lena assures her she couldn't be happier, and understands her need for a little privacy and time to bond with her baby. She's been very selfish and insecure about their relationship, but not anymore. She completely understands that the baby is her number one priority right now, and there will be plenty of time to think about them when she's more settled in. Bianca kisses her cheek and thanks her. Maggie comes in, embarrassed to have interrupted their hug, and asks for the landlord's phone number. Bianca asks why? Don't tell her she's moving out! Maggie says she is and isn't-the apartment across the hall is available and she really wants it bad, "Jamie and I are going to move in together."
From Soap Slut
http://pub18.ezboard.com/fsoapslutfrm2.showMessage?topicID=49.topicLena and Bianca loll around on the couch at her apartment, reading to the baby. Awww. Bianca frets over not having bought any baby stuff yet and goes online to splurge.
From Sneak Peaks
http://pub4.ezboard.com/fsosnovskasymposiumfrm9.showMessage?topicID=505.topicLena is reading to Bianca. Bianca has her head laying in Lena's lap. Lena's hand is on Bianca's belly and she feels baby kick. Bianca say this feels so right and that she is at peace, that her life isn't on hold and she and Lena are on the road back. Bianca talks about how the baby doesn't even know how everyone loves her. Lena asks even Erica. They talk about the House and Bianca asks Lena if she understands why she needs to live ALONE now. Lena says yes. Says she use to be selfish and insecure about Bianca but wasn't anymore. She says we're dating now (Bianca kind of raises her eyes about Lena not being selfish and insecure anymore)... Bianca plays with Lena's hair and kisses her cheek. Lena kisses Bianca's hand.
Lena and Bianca do some on-line baby shopping. Nice hug with Bianca rubbing Lena's back and Maggie comes in.
ALL GAY RE-CAP
This all gay recap is by C.K..
Read all the All Gay Re-caps at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheAllGayRecap/.
TODAY ON ALL MY I-SPIT-ON-YOUR-CRUMBS CHILDREN:
- There are forests.
- And there are holes.
- Forehead fires MiniTarzan.
- Lena and Bianca foreshadow greatness.
- But there are forests.
- And there are holes.
The Set-Up – At the cabin, Greenlee dreams of the Blanket of Self-Delusion and the Box of Answers. Answer: your story sucks.
At Tad’s, Maggie plays a racing game as if it were a first-person shooter. Answer: you’re a confused, annoying and talentless hack.
At the hospital, Beastmund tells Chesty LaRue that he wants to have the surgery so that he can die and take Brooke’s last hope for a story line away from her.
The Studio – With her own hand on Bianca’s VolderBelly and Bianca’s head on her lap, Lena reads from Shakespeare’s The Tempest:
How many goodly creatures there are here!
How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world
That has such people in't"
-William Shakespeare, The Tempest, 5.1, 185-7
Miranda is the only female character in the play; her beauty is exhaulted and she serves as a comparison to all the other – male – characters: she personifies perfection, intelligence, goodness of spirit and heart and has never been touched by a man. In fact, with the exception of her father, Prospero, who is the former Duke of Milan, Miranda has neither seen nor touched a man. Leave it to All My Children to find the most Christ-like woman William Shakespeare has ever written and get Bianca to name the kid after her. Thank you, AMC: I had no idea Bianca’s baby was innocent.
Bianca tells Lena that everything "feels so right" in her life now and, for the first time in a long while, she’s truly at peace and she’s ready for some hand-shagging.
Bianca! You hand-shag like that not only in front of the baby, but on her? That’s just scandalous: thank you, Janet, for showing us all half of your rack so that none of this nonsense will ever be on TV ever again.
Tad’s Fraternity – Jamie mentions Bianca and Maggie crashes.
Maggie: "Great: now I have a flat."
No, you are flat.
Maggie tells Jamie that Bianca is moving out and "getting a house together" and will miss her.
Jamie: "Yeah, I get it: it’s just like me and J.R."
Jamie, a relationship between you and J.R. is far less revolting than Maggie’s dynamic boredom of confusion with Bianca.
Maggie asks Jamie to move in with her; as soon as they both agree that they’re not in love with each other but do, in fact, have "great sex," they decide to move into a two-bedroom apartment "that’s right across the hall."
To make it more interesting and mature, they agree to a smoking bra signal in case either one should bring company to the apartment.
How old are you?
Big Trees, Tiny Holes [© Skiffy] – Story time over, Lena and Bianca play house.
Bianca: "I’m gonna have this baby and she’s gonna be healthy and safe and beautiful."
Lena: "Just as beautiful as her mother – which is very beautiful."
Aww. Sniff. I love the way you both suck at flirting.
After some boringcakes blah blahs about VolderBaby, Bianca suddenly realizes she doesn’t even own a car seat and must go out to get some baby furniture; Lena reminds her that the shower will take care of that, but Bianca seems to think that no one gives mothers-to-be "anything practical."
Bianca: "My god, this is going to cost a fortune."
Shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up!
Lena: "Bianca, what are you saying? Your child has just inherited Cambias Industries. You’re the trustee: I doubt that money is ever going to be a problem."
Yeah, and it was a real problem before that, too. Feh.
Bianca’s ready to "go buy it all," but Lena stops her, drags her to the couch and introduces her to Al Gore’s invention: the Internet.
Lena: "It’s a brave new world: sit and click and never worry about finding the nearest ladies’ room."
Bianca: "We’re already online? But, how did you -"
Lena: "I just thought you might want to surf the net."
Wi-Fi!Lena with Babies ‘R Us as the homepage. Sniff. You’re such an attentive girlf…erm…frie…erm, well - whatever you are.
The Hospital – Anita and Aidan are thrown into McTool’s latest chemistry experiment, which just tells me the only chemistry she must recognize is her own with the line "you’re fired."
Inside, Beastmund and Chesty make gross kissy-kissy noises.
Maria: "Did you feel that? Did you feel me kiss you? And you feel this? Can you feel me, Edmund? Can you feel me?"
LaRue, that’s not what Beastly wants to feel, mmk?
Edmund: "The idea of not being able to make love to you – "
It’s great! I’m all for it, you elbow-porn maniacs!
Maria: "We can still make love."
Chesty, don’t be a selfish lover: Beastly over there might like to feel something south of the belly button.
Big Trees, Tiny Holes [© Skiffy] – Bianca’s busy making sure Amazon will meet the projected earnings for the quarter and mentions that not having Maggie around will be "weird."
Lena: "Are you rethinking the house?"
Bianca "No. Lena, does it bother you that I want to live alone?"
Lena: "Oh, no, not at all."
Bianca: "Are you sure? Because I don’t want to hurt you or anything."
Bwah! You’re eight months too late for that particular worry, you tool.
Bianca: "I feel like we’re on the road back and it feels great but living together right now – "
God, make it stop: one more kick and I’ll need dentures and I already had to buy cortisone. Fucking forest, just wait till I get my hands on a petard.
Lena: "Stop. Shh. Look: we’re dating and we’re here together and, like you say, we’re on the road back and I couldn’t be happier. If I didn’t understand your need to have a little space to yourself and a little privacy to bond with your baby I’d be a complete jerk."
Oh, you mean you’d be Maggie.
Lena takes Bianca’s hand, kisses it, and tells her that she’s been "selfish about [her] before and insecure about [their] relationship" but isn’t anymore.
Lena: "I completely understand: your baby is your number one priority right now and there will be plenty of time to think about us when you’re more settled in."
Will that be before you leave the show or after The White Picket Fence Contingent sends McTavish a package of explosive goodies?
Bianca thanks Lena, kisses her cheek and plays with her hair – which is exactly what she’ll do with VolderMiranda. My god, what has happened to the sexy? What’s happened to "you’re hot, let me unbutton you shirt [© Skiffy]?" Children of America, you’re all safe from the horrible gay, homosexual lesbians on AMC. Well, until they turn all the straight people gay just to prove that it happens, it really does. Just look at The Retcon 32, most of whom seem to have realized their own journeys very late in life and therefore can insist that Donald Trump could turn out to be so gay at any moment.
The Last Scenes – At the Cabin of Stupidity, Greenlee cries over the Box of Nothing.
At Forest Central, Maggie walks into a Lianca hug and tells Bianca she and Jamie will be moving in together because the Gay Cooties whisper to her at night.
In his office, Jack packs all the law he knows into a cardboard box: half of it remains empty.
At the hospital, Beastmund tells Chesty LaRue that he has "no intention of dying." Oh, damn it.
TOMORROW ON ALL MY CHILDREN: Greenlee fights with herself; Maria asks David for help; Bianca has her baby shower.
This parody is by LizzieT.
Greenlee woke up at the cabin.
Greenlee: Hmmm. I remember this fantasy I had while I was in the mine shaft. I think I'll have it again for the benefit of the audience members who slept through it the first time. Ryan and I are in the garden and there's a box that will bring me happiness. I know - I'll go back to the mine shaft and look for the box. Maybe I'll fall in again and bring happiness to those who wish I'd never gotten out in the first place
Mine Shaft: What fresh hell is this? She's back!
Ryan: Greenlee, what are you doing here?
Greenlee: How did you know where I was? Our psychic connection again?
Ryan: No. The only other sets up today are the hospital, Bianca's apartment, and the DA's office and I didn't think you'd be any of those places. Let me take you back to the cabin.
Mine Shaft: :::sob::::Thank you! Thank you ! Thank you! I might just like you after all.
Later Ryan and Greenlee talked at the cabin.
Greenlee: I have to find it.
Ryan: Find what?
Greenlee: The box.
Ryan: You mean this box?
Greenlee: That's it! This box holds the key to my future.
Ryan: What's in it? A script for a better storyline? The phone number of a really good agent?
Greenlee: I don't know. Help me open it.
Ryan: Here you go. What's in it?
Greenlee: Nothing. It's vacant - sort of symbolic of our storyline.
Edmund and Maria talked.
Edmund: I'm going to have the surgery whether you like it or not.
Maria: I can't believe you'd do that to me.:::sob:::: What if you died? Then where will I be?::::sob:::: We hardly ever get any screentime as it is.
Edmund: I'm sure I'll survive. I haven't read anything on the internet about me being written out. But just in case I didn't make it, think of the Emmy reel you could get out of my funeral scenes.
Maria:......OK, I guess you can go through with it:::sob::::
Aidan met Anita in the hallway.
Aidan: Blimey! It's yew.
Anita: What are you doing here?
Aidan: Oi'm ere to visit Edmund. We're old chums.
Anita: I'm Maria's sister Anita Warner.
Aidan: Oi'm Eyeden Devane.
Anita: :::gasp:::Aidan! I've heard all about you and your spotted dick. Stay away from my sister, do you hear me?
Aidan: Now now, Mowreen and Oi ave worked everything out. We all get along grite now. Mighbe yew and Oi will get along tew.
Anita: Possibly. My first scene being with you may have been their subtle way of establishing us as future couple.
Aidan: Roito. This show is nothing if not subtle.
Bianca and Lena shared some quiet time.
Lena: Isn't this lovely? Soft classical music and me reading Shakespeare to you.
Bianca: It's wonderful. I'm sure the baby likes it too.
Baby: Frankly I'd prefer The Stones and a James Patterson novel but it's OK.
Bianca: I was just thinking. The baby doesn't know what's out there in the world. She has no idea how many people are just waiting to love her.
Baby: I know more than you think. I'm already trying to decide who should be president of my fan club. And as for what's going on in the world, I read spoilers.
Bianca: I need to go shopping. I need so many things for the baby.
Lena: Don't worry. I have baby websites bookmarked and ready for you to shop.
Baby: There you go. Just point and click - but stay away from the cheap practical stuff. I expect the very best. After all, I am Erica Kane's grandchild.
Bianca: Oohhh, this is so cute. I'll have to buy one.
Lena: You should buy more than one.
Baby: ::sniff sniff:::I love my Auntie Lena.
The gang gathered at the DA's office to settle things.
Jack: Whatever the two of you do, don't offer any information or opinions. Just keep quiet.
Reggie: Don't worry Dad. I'll be my usual discreet self.
Kendall: And I'll follow your advice just like I did at the trial.
Jack: We're all going up the river aren't we?
Alan: Let's see, the charges are perjury, possession of a firearm, obstruction of justice, tampering with evidence, abuse of a corpse, making an illegal left turn, walking on the grass, flying without a net, and eating pasta while on the Atkin's diet.
Jack: So what is your offer?
Alan: Either five years in prison for everyone or you'll all be sentenced to the Babe storyline.
Reggie: I'll take the five years.
Jack: I'm making a counter offer. Let Reggie and Kendall do community service and I'll plead guilty.
Kendall: But if you plead guilty you'll end up in prison.
Jack: I know. Have you seen Erica lately? She's downright scary.
Extra: Wait just a minute. I represent the governor. He's been watching this storyline from the beginning.
Kendall: I'm glad someone has. I've heard the ratings haven't been that great.
Extra: The governor wants everyone to get off with a mere slap on the wrist and for this storyline to finally be over.
Alan: I can't do that.
Extra: Of course you can. You're only a recurring character and you have a Power Ranger for your assistant. Now do the right thing.
Alan: OK, everyone gets 15 minutes in time out. That's my final offer.
Justin: Nuh huh! When you leave then I'm the DA and I'm going to make them all go to jail - and no dessert either. Or TV. Or video games. Let them see who's tough on crime.
Alan: Justin, you're not going to be DA. You're fired.
Justin: No fair!
Alan: And you're not a Power Ranger anymore. Hand over your morpher.
Justin: :::sob::::Nooooooooo! :::sob::::
Alan: Justin! Hand it over!
Justin: :::sob:::::This is the worst exit story anyone ever had:::sob:::::
Someday they will discover full frontal kissing, but not today
Bianca: Oh. Have you ever been to a baby shower? Nobody buys you anything practical. Oh, my god -- this is going to cost a fortune.
Lena: Bianca, what are you saying? Your child has just inherited the cambias industry. You're the trustee. I doubt that money's ever going to be a problem. Your little girl probably owns some company that makes most of this stuff.
Unverified in non-clip parts
***** (clip a) [Lena reads the Tempest to a supine Bianca]
[Classical music plays]
Lena: "Arise, and say how thou cam'st here." And then Miranda says, "O, wonder! How many goodly creatures are there here! How beauteous mankind is! O, brave new world, that has such people in it."
Bianca: How much do you love that scene? Miranda is so excited when she finds out all -- about all the other people who exist in the world. Ow! Did you feel that?
Lena: Oh! Is it the Shakespeare, or the music that's making her do that?
Bianca: This feels so right.
Lena: I'm glad you finally got some rest.
Bianca: No, not just that. I mean, a few days ago, I don't think I could have imagined this kind of peace. And now, for the first time in I don't know how long, I feel really and truly happy with my life.
***** (clip b) [Lena helps Bianca cybershop]
Lena: It's true what they say. Pregnant women really do glow.
Bianca: Well, it's finally sinking in that everything is going to be ok. I'm going to have this baby, and she's going to be healthy and safe and beautiful.
Lena: Just as beautiful as her mother, which is very beautiful.
Bianca: You know, this little girl -- the only world that she knows is safe and warm inside her mother's belly, near my heart. She has no idea what's out there. She has no idea all of the people waiting to welcome her into her new world. Just waiting to love her. Just like Miranda in "The Tempest."
Lena: And does that include Erica?
Bianca: I hope so, in time. I know it's going to take my mother a long time to accept this baby. But once she does, I know she's going to learn to love her. She has to. See? Even the baby agrees.
Lena: Oh, my god. Your daughter's already talking back to you.
Bianca: She's going to be here so soon. Oh, my god! We have nothing.
Lena: What? We have everything.
Bianca: No, I -- I mean, I'm not prepared to bring a baby into this house. Just like I was telling Maggie --
Lena: What? Bianca, where are you going?
Bianca: I -- well, I have to go and -- and buy everything -- a stroller, a car seat. They won't even let you bring a baby home from the hospital without a car seat.
Lena: What are you talking about?
Bianca: I need -- I need a --
Lena: Listen -- the baby shower will take care of most of those things.
Bianca: Oh. Have you ever been to a baby shower? Nobody buys you anything practical. Oh, my god -- this is going to cost a fortune.
Lena: Bianca, what are you saying? Your child has just inherited the Cambias Industries. You're the trustee. I doubt that money's ever going to be a problem. Your little girl probably owns some company that makes most of this stuff.
Bianca: Ok, good. Let's just go buy it all, then.
Lena: Ok -- relax. Come here.
Bianca: Oh --
lena: It's a brave new world. Sit, and click, and never worry about finding the nearest ladies' room.
Bianca: Yeah, like every 10 minutes these days. Wait a minute -- we're already online?
Lena: Uh-huh. Baby supplies.
Bianca: But how did you know --
Lena: I just thought you might want to surf the net.
Bianca: Oh, my gosh. Babies -- accessories, clothing, furniture. This is amazing.
***** (clip c) [Bianca tells Lena why she wants to live alone]
Bianca: This is so cute. I have to get this. One Italian yellow knit onesie --
Bianca: Size zero to three months. In my shopping cart.
Lena: What, just one?
Bianca: Oh, you're absolutely right. It's way too cute to just toss out when she outgrows it. I'll get one in the next size, too. This is really fun. Maggie has been on my case to get this done for months. Window shopping, she calls it. It's going to be weird not having her around.
Lena: Are you rethinking the house?
Bianca: No. Lena, does it bother you that I want to live alone?
Lena: Oh -- no, not at all.
Bianca: Are you sure? Because I don't want to hurt you or anything. I feel like we're -- we're on the road back. And -- and it feels great. But living together right now --
Lena: Stop --
Bianca: I just don't know if I'm --
Lena: Shh. Look, we're dating, and we're here together. And like you say, we're on our road back. And I couldn't be happier. If I didn't understand your need to have a little space to yourself and a little privacy to bond with your baby, I'd be a complete jerk.
Bianca: Oh, stop. You're anything but.
Lena: Look, I've been very selfish about you before and i've been insecure about our relationship. But not anymore. I completely understand that your baby is your number one priority right now. And there'll be plenty of time to think about us when you're more settled in.
Bianca: Thank you so much, Lena.
[Bianca kisses Lena on the cheek]
***** (clip d) [Maggie tells Bianca and Lena that she's moving in with Jamie]
Maggie: Oh -- my bad.
Bianca: Oh. It's not a problem.
Maggie: No, I -- I should have knocked. I'm sorry.
Bianca: No, you don't have to knock, maggie. You live here.
Maggie: Well, not for long. Hey, where is the landlord's phone number?
Bianca: Why? Don't tell me you're moving out.
Maggie: I'm not moving out. Except I am.
Bianca: Maggie, what happened?
Maggie: Nothing. The apartment across the hall is available, and I really want it bad. Oh, here it is. Perfect. Um -- Jamie and I are going to move in together.
***** (clip e) [Lena at Bianca's baby shower]
On the next "all my children" --
greenlee: Why can't I have a little happy time with ryan?
Greenlee #2: Because he deserves better.
Maria: You might be my only hope.
Bianca: And she's not here yet.
Kendall: She said she'd show up, and she will.
Bianca: Let's just hope that's a good thing.
[Lena in the background]
Erica: I hope i'm not too late. baby shower, ek showing up late,
I have the following clips (incompletes are marked "inc"):
amc040304a.mov () Lena reads the Tempest to a supine Bianca
amc040304b.mov () Lena helps Bianca cybershop
amc040304c.mov () Bianca tells Lena why she wants to live alone
amc040304d-inc1.mov () Maggie tells Bianca and Lena that she's moving in with Jamie
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