CAST & CREDITS
TV GUIDE PROMO
SYNOPSIS/ANALYSIS by Marissa Robillard-Meli
Darrin Klimek (Andrew)
Lolita Davidovich (Francesca Wolff)
Devon Gummersall (Lisa)
Snoop Dogg (Slim Daddy)
Rosanna Arquette (Cherie Jaffe)
Helen Shaver (Faye Buckley)
Carmen Aguirre .... Isabella Pernao
Preston Cook .... James
Matthew Currie Holmes .... Clive
Mikka Dargel .... Receptionist
Obi Edwards .... Dancer
Gwenm Eyre .... Young Woman
Kennedy Goodkey .... Guard
Rebecca Harker .... Stephanie
Karen Holness .... Dancer
Vicky Lambert .... Dancer
Donny James Lucas .... Director (as Donny Lucas)
Joe MacLeod .... Delivery Man/Young Man
Sonia Mais .... Housekeeper
Judith Maxie .... Dr. Wilson
Richard O'Sullivan .... Choreographer
Charles Payne .... Triple
James Purcell .... Steve Jaffe
Ecstasia Sanders .... Dancer
Gerry South .... A.D.
Cole Walliser .... Dancer
Jay Williams .... Dancer
Writer: Guinevere Turner
Director: Rose Troche
Showtime, Sunday, 10pm
TV GUIDE PROMO
Dana starts to "find" herself. Fame and complications find Shane. Alice is just contending with complications. Kit rehearses for the "Slim Daddy" video. Jenny is more confused and torn than ever between Marina and Tim.
This synopsis is by Marissa Robillard-Meli.
We're in Lisbon, Portugal. A Jesus figure, surrounded by bearded holy men, is f***ing a naked chick, doggystyle. It is being videotaped, possibly for a show on EWTN.
Lisa and Alice wake up in bed together. All Alice wants to do is go to the bathroom, but Lisa is saying goodbye to her like she's going on a kamikaze mission. "What a lez," Alice says, and I have to agree that Lisa out-lesbians me as well.
Bette and Tina are at home, and Tina asks Bette to move her Saab out of the driveway. Bette, who does not like to put unnecessary mileage on her sweet ride, asks her exactly why she has to do that. Tina has bought a birthing tank and it's being delivered. Bette is terrified at the thought of Tina demonstrating some independence and tells her that she should've discussed it with her first. Tina says she didn't want to worry Bette about it, but Bette is still pissed that Tina's doctor got to know about it but she didn't.
Kit hops in to Slim's (played by Snoop Dogg) limo, where he is maxin' and relaxin' with his entourage. He offers her a smoothie, which comes in many flavors in Slim's limo including peanut butter.
Dana wakes up next to Mr. Piddles. She says there is something important she needs to tell him. She confesses that she's gay, and thanks him for still loving her. He thanks her non-verbally for not having noticed that he peed in her closet. Alice busts into Dana's house, hopefully having snuck out of the bathroom window, leaving Lisa in bed. She announces that she's there to get Dana out of bed, who is surrounded by junk food. I liked this the first time, when it was an episode of Roseanne.
Bette is watching the video taken in Lisbon and finds the great artistic value in it. Flowers arrive for her with no card attached! She says that it wouldn't have been Tina, because Tina doesn't do stuff like that. As it turns out, they are from her sunglasses.
Alice is at The Planet with a very depressed Dana, whom I have just dumped because I am allergic to cats, and also hate them. Alice asks her if there's anything that can cheer her up, and receiving no response, resorts to calling someone to ask if their refrigerator is running. She hands the phone to Dana, who tells them that they better catch it. Turns out that Alice called Dana's mom, who tells Alice that the joke wasn't very funny. Which it really wasn't. Nothing can compare to my fifth grade sleepovers when my friends and I randomly chose numbers in the phone book, and whenever a woman picked up the phone, we would pretend to be crying and say "Mom, I got my period." And then hang up. Dana's mom wants to talk to her so she does, and Dana looks kind of upset at what she's saying. However, after she gets off the phone we find out that her mom didn't even mention the gay thing to her. She is, however, setting Dana up on a date with her friend's son. My mom still does that.
Shane is lazing around the salon and wants to go get some coffee when her very stereotypically gay boss throws a bitchfit and reminds her that Cherie is coming at 6:00 to get her hair done. A woman shows up looking for Shane, and hands over a list of hair products not to be used on Cherie, a list that she can use, and a history of hair treatments. Shane has to sign a contract saying she'll abide by the list, which she does without reading anything. Cherie then arrives on a chariot, which is being pulled by white tigers.
Kit is rehearsing for the Slim Daddy video and is struggling with the dance moves. Someone get this woman a copy of Darrin's Dance Grooves. Bette is watching from the sidelines, and Slim Daddy attempts to add her to his stable of ho's. She tells him that she's gay, which of course he thinks is hot. He also thinks it's hot when Bette and Kit hug. Sexual excitement brought on by the thought of incest is entirely beyond me. He tells Bette to bring her girlfriends the next time she comes to rehearsal so that they can "share."
Shane is still doing Cherie's hair. Cherie barks at her assistant to go to Neiman Marcus and pick up a pair of Manolo Blahniks for her. Shane asks her what she wants, and she replies that she wants so many things. She says she wants a change…something new…as she eyes up Shane's boobies. Shane says she knows what to do, and tells her to take her shirt off. Cherie has a look on her face that's like "hell yeah" until Shane lets her know that there are smocks in the back.
Jenny is at Marina's house, and Francesca has opened up a bottle of fancy wine for Jenny. She herself will be drinking the blood of the innocent out of a hollow skull. Jenny still won't shut up about O. Henry's "The Gift of the Magi." Marina and Francesca talk about the ballerina Francesca fingered while she was fitting her for a costume as if this were a completely normal occurrence in their relationship. Francesca tells Marina that Jenny is beautiful while they eat dinner, and Jenny looks uncomfortable.
Cherie's hair is done, and she calls Harry to thank him for recommending Shane. She kisses Shane on the cheek and calls her a genius, and leaves her a $200 tip.
Marina tells Jenny privately that she wants her to know how hard it's been to get her out of her head. Jenny replies that Marina has no feelings, and Marina says it's sad that she doesn't know how much she means to her. They start kissing and Francesca walks in, and I begin to worry about the possibility of a threesome. The thing about Marina, Francesca tells Jenny, is that when she focuses on you she can make you feel like you're the only person in the world. She doesn't blame Jenny for falling in love with Marina, but thinks Marina might be using her "gift" a little too freely. She totally changes the subject to ask Jenny about her writing, but Jenny persists. She asks why they both go out and conquer women, only to return home to make each other jealous so that they can find each other attractive. Francesca calls her self-righteous, and then very politely tells her that she's sorry the evening had to turn out this way. While she's away, Francesca lets Jenny know, Marina can do whatever she wants and she can as well. When she gets home, however, she wants it to be the way she left it. Welcome to the Ice Capades, bitch. Jenny thanks her politely and leaves, averting her gaze so as not to burn her retinas. Always the passive-aggressive, Jenny takes the bottle of wine Francesca has given her and smashes it against a glass window at their house as Marina watches.
Jenny returns home to find Tim watching a bad kung fu movie. He invites her to watch it with him, and she sits next to him on the couch. He invites her to come closer and puts his arm around her. She tells him that she loves him, and he says nothing, but puts her head on his chest. He kisses her and she jumps him. They have quick, passionate sex, and afterward, Jenny grooms his gorilla body in order to remove several herds of lice.
Tina and Bette are lying down. Tina asks Bette if she's mad that she made a decision without her, and Bette tells her that she just feels left out. Tina says that she gets a feeling that Bette is so proud to be with her, and that makes her feel safe and loved. However, she hasn't been feeling it lately, so she's been trying to focus on herself and not get scared about it. Bette says nothing because this is what Bette does.
Jenny and Tim are in bed in the morning. Tim looks spaced out as Jenny tells him that she loves being with him there. It's over between Marina and her, she whines, after going to Marina and Francesca's and seeing how egotistical they are. Tim gets up and says that he "took a giant f***ing step backwards." He doesn't want to get back with Jenny and doesn't know who she is anymore. He says she talks about how phony Marina and Francesca are, without realizing that she's turned into that herself. He doesn't want any part of it, and gets up and leaves. Out of earshot, Jenny whispers, "f*** you, Tim. I am not apologizing anymore." No, you won't be, because hopefully Tim will stop letting her fall in to his arms when she doesn't have anyone else.
Bette, Tina, Shane, Dana, Alice, and Bette's Chanel sunglasses are together in Bette's Saab, when Lisa calls and Alice refuses to answer it. Tina picks it up instead, but Lisa can hear Alice breathing (what?!) so she has to talk to Lisa anyway. Shane tells him to stop being a lesbian. Um, shouldn't these girls be a little more tolerant of alternative lifestyles considering they are themselves minorities? This is like that horrible wife-swapping show where the African-American woman, who was in an interracial marriage, was traded into a lesbian family and completely hated gays. I had to turn it off in five minutes after I found myself screaming at the TV like I was in Alabama and NASCAR was on. The security guard won't let the girls through the gate, but one of the members of Slim's entourage shows up and tells him it's cool. He tells Bette that Slim wants to talk about business plans with her, and she brings Tina into his limo with her. Slim is still trying to convert the ladies to the dark side, but they insist that they're married. He asks if Kit might be interested, but as it turns out, he assumed she was gay. Uh oh, Spaghettio's! Slim says that in that case, she might not be happy with the direction he took with the video. In the video, Kit is dressed up in black vinyl and fishnets and has ladies hanging all over her. Slim asks Alice and Dana if they are married, which I think that they pretty much should be at this point. Shane is sitting in his chair, and after a non-verbal pimp battle, she steps down and lets him sit there. Kit steps off stage, saying she can't do this anymore. She loves the song and wants to be in the video, but just can't be in it like this. Since when is Pam Grier afraid of ladies hanging all over her? Hi-yo! Slim apologizes, as he thought that she would enjoy it. She baffles all of us watching by informing him that she isn't "a twenty year-old hoochie." Slim defends her to the director, who just wants to move on without her.
Shane is at work when Cherie's assistant walks in to let her know that Cherie wants Shane to do her hair at 5:00 for a benefit. Shane agrees, knowing exactly what the benefit will be.
Bette arrives at the CAC and sees that the building is covered with flyers blaring "Art = Filth," etc. James, her assistant, tells her that the Coalition for Concerned Citizens is responsible, and has been tracking the exhibit from gallery to gallery.
Shane shows up at Cherie's, and her maid answers the door. The maid is Hispanic! What, you didn't think that all maids were Hispanic? Well, they are! And they have all very obviously immigrated to the United States recently! I now know that all stereotypes are true, and have wisely decided to lay down my sword of activism and open up a pizza parlor and grow a curly mustache, because it is my duty as an Italian-American. Thank you, L Word!
Cherie is in a bathrobe, drinking wine. This is what I do when I go in to get my hair cut. Shane asks her if she should do her hair the way she did it last time, and Cherie tells her that she wants more-and I pray she's talking about hair extensions. "How much more?" Shane asks. "Lots more," Cherie whispers, and begins kissing Shane's stomach. They start to fool around and we realize exactly what was implied with that $200 tip.
Lisa is complaining to Alice that she's a pillow queen, which, he says, is because she's sluggish, and should therefore cut out the red meat. Dana is at the next table, where she meets Andrew, her mom's friend's son, who was apparently the result of a drunken threesome between her and the Brooks Brothers. They talk for awhile, and he very smoothly tells her that she has a hot body within about one minute of meeting her. She announces that she is a lesbian while I cheer. Andrew appears delighted, until Dana tells him, "I don't want to have sex with you and a woman. I just want to have sex with a woman." She apologizes (which was wholly unnecessarily, and which I would have only done after kicking him in the nuts), shakes his hand, and sits down with Alice at her table (Alice had moved to a table right next to them, abandoning poor Lisa). Alice gets up, shakes Andrew's hand, and sits down. Dana moves back by Lisa and they discuss the effectiveness of certain brands of maxi pads. Alice asks Andrew if he's completely straight, and he says yes. Alice is fascinated by this, because this is, well, Los Angeles. A worried Lisa wonders if Alice is flirting with him, and Dana affirms. Lisa is crushed, and will probably retire to his home where he will devour a pint of Ben & Jerry's during the course of a Designing Women marathon.
Things keep getting hotter between Shane and Cherie, until her husband comes upstairs looking for her. Shane grabs her clothes and runs into the back room. As Cherie and her husband talk, Shane comes out of the back very casually and very clothed. Cherie's husband reaches out his hand to shake Shane's, and she declines, saying that her hands are wet. The perverted teenager inside all of us is delighted. Shane bolts out of the house and Steve (Cherie's husband) runs after her and hands her the payment. She declines, and after going on and on about how totally hot his wife looks and how much he wants to "bang" her, Steve makes Shane accept the money.
James the assistant brings Bette some of the books she had read during her childhood so that she can read them to the baby while it's still in the womb. She leaves the CAC and a woman outside asks her if the work featuring Jesus in a compromising position has arrived yet, and lets Bette know just how degrading and offensive it is to the Christian faith. Bette defends it as art, and the woman vehemently insists that Bette "is making the world a darker place for her child to live in." She mentions Bette's homosexuality and explicitly refers to her as a pervert. After she is done, she asks Bette if she likes the flowers she sent-the flowers without the card. Apparently she and the sunglasses went halfsies on the gift. Bette calls after her after recognizing her as Faye Buckley. "Bingo," Faye's stupid, ugly face regurgitates as she walks away.
Alice is with Andrew, kissing on the couch. He is drinking Dos Equis beer. Isn't he supposed to be a sophisticate? What the hell is going on? I refuse to believe that Alice stocks that crap at her place, so let's say he was hiding it in his fancy suit all day. Lisa busts into Alice's-lock your door, sweetie, this is L.A.-and announces himself as her lesbian lover. A perplex Andrew declares, "Just became not worth it." Alice complains that all she wanted was something simple, not a lesbian boyfriend. She wants a boyfriend who's straight, or a lesbian who's a girl.
Bette comes to the doctor's office, where she is supposed to meet Tina for an appointment. Except Tina isn't there. The doctor lets Bette know that she has some bad news in store for her. The fetus, she carefully tells Bette, has stopped thriving due to a congenital problem. Bette looks like her entire world just came down. Where is Tina? Go to her, Bette!
She does go home, and searches the house for Tina. She's on the floor, hysterically crying. Bette comforts her, showing us a little glimpse of her humanity, which is powerful in small doses because we are not usually exposed to it. They hear a noise outside. What a great time for company. Of course they need their friends to help them through this, but right now they just need each other. Bette hesitantly heads to the door not to find a friend, but to encounter two protestors outside, videotaping their house after having planted a huge sign in their front yard. Here is where we see Bette at her finest. The grief of losing a child combined with the anger she is experiencing at the resistance to her gallery's exhibit makes for an explosive scene where she forces them off of her property. They leave, but not before one of them tells Bette that she's going to hell. Bette returns inside to be with Tina once more. Bette, who always has been in absolute control of every aspect of her life, begins to break down.
The opening teaser is set in Lisbon, Portugal, the present day which sets the stage for the episode of showing actors portraying Jesus Christ and a few disiples stradling a young woman as part of an artist's 'Provocations' canvas.
Before Shane cuts Cherie's (Arquette) hair for the first time, Cherie asks her assistant to 'call Gwyn and get three tickets to Coldplay.' - most likely a joke on the actress who plays Shane, katherine moennig, since Gwyneth Paltrow is her cousin. This reference to "Call Guin" may also be reference to Guin Turner, who appears as Gabby, but is also a writer of the show and is a famous lesbian (she was one of the inspirations for the Kevin Smith movie "Chasing Amy" and wrote and directed "Go Fish"). TVTome.com
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