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“Beware Greeks Bearing Gifts”  Episode 12/112


[Helen’s nightmare]  Soldiers:  “We must protect Helen!”  “Save
the Queen!”  “Helen!  Helen!  Helen!”


Paris:  “Nightmare again?”

Helen:  “It’s so real, Paris.”

Paris:  “Shhh.  I told you, there’s nothing to worry about.
Menelaus and his army are exhausted.  Victory for Troy is at

Helen:  “I wish I could believe that.”

Paris:  “Get some rest.  These nightmares rob you of your
beauty, and after all-- isn’t that what I’ve been fighting for?”


Helen:  “Maltiades.”  

Maltiades:  “Is everything all right, your Highness?”

Helen:  “I need you to deliver a message for me.  Have you heard
of Xena?”

Maltiades:  “Yes.”

Helen:  “Take this to her.”

Maltiades:  “Yes, Highness.”


X:  “Half an apple-- that’s it?”

G:  “I should have picked up some more supplies when we came
down Mount Poulis.  But don’t worry.  We’re not far from Troy.
We can just stop there, and--”

X:  “No, we’re not stopping in Troy, Gabrielle.  It’s too
dangerous.  And besides, after fighting the Greeks for ten
years, I doubt that Trojans have any food to spare.”

G:  “It was just a thought.  I mean, the only chance I get to
see Helen-- the face that launched a thousand ships.”

X:  “A thousand war ships.  Forget it.”

G:  “OK.  I don’t need food if you don’t.  Hmm!”


Maltiades’ Voice:  “Let me pass!”

G:  “What is that?”

Thugs:  “Get her!”  “We’ve got her now!”  “Come on.  Come on.

G:  “Is he all right?”

Maltiades:  “Are you Xena?”

X:  “Yes-- do I know you?”

Maltiades:  “I’m Maltiades.  Queen Helen sent me to deliver a
message to you.”

X:  “Is she all right?”

Maltiades:  “Yes-- but she wants you to come to Troy.”

G:  “You know Helen?”

X:  “We met a long time ago in Sparta-- before the war.”

Maltiades:  “Please-- promise you’ll go.  The lives of thousands
of soldiers depend on you.”

X:  “I will.”

Maltiades:  “Good.  Be sure no one knows why you’re there.”

X:  “All right.”

G:  “I-- Is--?”

X:  “Yes.  We’ll give him a proper burial, and then we’ll go.”

G:  “To Troy?”

X:  “To Troy.”



X:  “It’s Troy.”

G:  “Oh.  OK-- let me get this straight.  To get inside Troy,
not only do we have to get past that huge stone wall but-- we
have to do it in front of the Greek army?”

X:  “Shh!  Keep your voice down, Gabrielle.”

G:  “Right.  But you do have a plan?”

X:  “Count on it.  Are your boots laced?  Come on!”

G:  “Ahh!”

X:  “Follow my lead!  Come on!  Stay close, Gabrielle!”

Gk. Sold:  “Do it!”

X:  “Come on, Gabrielle!


Perdicus [Perd]:  “Gabrielle?”

Trojan Sold:  “Perdicus?  Are you all right?”

Perd:  “Open the gates!  Open the gates!”

Trojan Sold:  “Open the gates?  Are you crazy?”


X:  “Run, Gabrielle!  Run!  I’ll cover you.”

G:  “I’m right behind you!”

X:  “Come on!”

Gk. Sold:  “Charge the gates!”


Perd:  “Help me get the gates.  Open the gates!  Come on, hurry!
Hurry!  Get inside!  Go in there!”

X:  “You first!”

Perd:  “Archers!  Close the gates!”


X:  “Thanks for your help.”

G:  “We should introduce ourselves.  My name is Gabrie--.”

Perd:  “I know who you are.”

G:  “Perdicus?”

Perd:  “Gabrielle.”

X:  “You two know one another.”

G:  “This is Perdicus, from my home town.  We were to be

X:  “I thought you were a farmer.”

Perd:  “I was, but-- not anymore.  Shore up those gates.”

Trojan Sold:  “Yes, sir.”

Perd:  “Follow me.”  

Trojan Sold:  “Shore up the gates!”

Perd:  “Welcome to Troy.”

Gk. Sold:  “We need more food here!”

Menelaus:  “Well, this plan of yours had better work.  The
morale of my troops dwindles with each passing day.  If Troy
doesn’t fall soon, I may never see Helen again.”

Gk Sold:  “King Menelaus.  Forgive me, your Highness.  I didn’t
mean to intrude.”

Menelaus:  “What is it?”  

Gk sold:  “A report from the front-- The Warrior Princess,
Xena-- has fought through our lines and into Troy.”

Menelaus:  “Xena?  Leave us.  Well, I trust you can take care of
this little unforeseen problem.  We don’t need a wolf among our
sheep now, do we?”


Perd:  “So, what brings you to Troy?”

X:  “The war.”

Perd:  “You’re here to fight?”

X:  “If I’m needed.”

Perd:  “With your fighting skills, I’m sure you’ll be welcome by
Commander Deiphobus.”

X:  “Who’s she?”

Perd:  “_He’s_-- the head of Troy’s security forces and Paris’

X:  “Well, first, I have to see Helen and Paris”

Perd:  “Why?”

X:  “I’ve got to meet who I’m fighting for.”

Perd:  “I’m sorry-- No one sees them without permission.  It’s
against regulations.”

X:  “Well, that’s never bothered me before.  Don’t worry, if
anyone asks, I’ll say you tried to stop me.  Wait here.  I’m
sure you two have plenty to talk about.”

G and Perd:  “Good to see you.”

Perd:  “Yeah.”

Trojan Sold:  “Perdicus, the Greeks are on the move!”

Perd:  “Call out the second detail!  I want them on the south

Trojan Sold:  “Yes, sir!”

Perd:  “Find someplace safe-- I have to go.”

Trojan Sold:  “Quickly!

Deiphobus [Deiph]:  “I understand, you opened the gates for the
Greek Warrior Woman!”

Perd:  “Yes, Commander, but she, she battled an entire platoon
of her own countrymen.  I-- I thought we could possibly utilize
her fighting skills.”

Deiph:  “Perhaps, but where do I find her, now?”

Perd:  “I advised that she report to you, sir.”

Deiph:  “Then, why haven’t I seen her?!”

Perd:  “I tried to stop her, but she insisted on seeing Paris
and Helen first.”

Deiph:  “If anything happens to them, I will hold _you_


X:  “You sent for me?”

Helen:  “Xena-- I was worried you wouldn’t come.”

X:  “Well, we’ve had our differences in the past, but, you’re
still a friend.”

Helen:  “Thank you.  Where’s Maltiades?”

X:  “Dead-- I fought off his attackers, but not in time to save
his life.  I’m sorry.  I know you wouldn’t have sent him into
danger without a good reason.”

Helen:  “You’re right.  I see terrible things in my dreams,
Xena.  I want you to take me to Menelaus.”

X:  “Why would you want to go back to the man you were forced to

Helen:  “It’s the only way the Greeks will withdraw and the
fighting will stop.”

X:  “You’re wrong.  Paris and his army will carve a bloody path
to the sea chasing after you .  You’re better off staying in
Troy.  At least Paris loves you.”

Helen:  “Wait!  Xena, please.  After ten years of war-- Troy has
become a city of-- misery and death.  Paris may have loved me
once-- but, now he is consumed with victory.  We’re barely more
than strangers.  I just want the war to end.”

Deiph:  “There she is!”

Helen:  “What is the meaning of this, Deiphobus?”  How dare you
enter my chamber?”

Deiph:  “My apologies, but you’re safety’s my first concern.”

X:  “Then you’d better tighten security.  I’ve got to tell you,
for a city under attack, it was pretty easy to get in here.”

Deiph:  “What do you _want_?”

X:  “To meet with Helen.  I don’t fight for people I don’t

Deiph:  “A Greek warrior wants to fight for Troy.  Do you take
me for a fool?”

Helen:  “She’s telling the truth.  If you don’t believe her, let
Paris decide.”

Deiph:  “By all means-- my guards will escort you to the


Perd:  “Ahhh.”

G:  “It’s been a long time.”

Perd:  “Yeah-- last time I saw you, you were-- sprintin’ out of

G:  “Right-- I’m sorry-- I-- that I left without saying goodbye.
It was wrong.”

Perd:  “That’s all right.  I’m not angry anymore.”

G:  “What are you doing in Troy?”

Perd:  “I had heard stories about Helen and Paris.  I-- I wanted
to be in a place where-- people were fighting for love.”

G:  “I’m the one who told you those stores.  That’s all they
were-- stories.  You’re not a soldier, Perdicus.  You don’t
belong here.”

Perd:  “No, no.  For the first time in my life, I feel I really
do belong.”

G:  “Go home, before something happens to you.”

Perd:  “I’m sorry, Gabrielle, but-- you can’t tell me what to do


Deiph:  “She claims she wants to fight for Troy.”

X:  “If you want me.”

Deiph:  “I don’t trust her.  She’s Greek-- an outsider.”

X:  “I never lifted a sword for Greece.”

Deiph:  “It makes no difference.”

Paris:  “Look, she fought bravely to get into Troy.  I don’t see
any reason to doubt her.”

Anteus:  “Deiphobus.”

Deiph:  “Anteus?”



Helen:  “Xena.  What are you doing?”

X:  “I saw this coward kill a loyal Trojan outside the city.
That cut on his face was made by my sword.”


X:  “He’s dead.”  

Deiph:  “Good-- This man was obviously a traitor.”

Paris:  “He was a member of your personal guard, Deiphobus.”

Deiph:  “I know-- and I assure you, there’ll be a thorough
investigation of all my men.”

X:  “Good idea-- traitors rarely act alone.  It’s a shame this
one won’t be talking.”

Deiph:  “He was but a few paces from you and Helen.  I-- I had
no choice but to kill him.”

Paris:  “What’s done is done.  Xena, you’ve proven yourself an
ally of Troy.  You’re welcome to stay as our guest.  Treat her

Deiph:  “As you wish.”


G:  “It’s me, isn’t it?  That’s why you’re doing this.”

Perd:  “You have nothing to feel guilty about.  I’m here because
I wanna be.”

G:  “You forget who you’re talking to.  Remember the time that
you almost drowned trying to save my hat when it fell in the
river?  Or the time that-- you almost got trampled trying to
give me a carriage ride?”

Perd:  “Well, those days are over.  I’m not a love-sick kid

G:  “What if something happens to you?  What am I supposed to do

Perd:  “Write a story about me.”

Trojan Sold:  “Archers!  Archers!”  

Trojan Sold:  “Get down!”

Perd:  “Take cover.”

Trojan Sold:  “Head for your stations!”

G:  “Perdicus!”

Perd:  “Give me a bow!  This is for my friend!”


Perd:  “You’ve taken good care of Gabrielle.  I wanted to thank
you for that.”

X:  “There’s no need-- she’s like family.  Tell me about

Perd:  “Well-- he may not be the nicest guy in town, but he’s a
good warrior.  No one has killed more enemies.”

X:  “What about friends?”

Perd:  “What do you mean?”

G:  “Xena?”

X:  “Nothing.  It’s just a hunch.”

Perd:  “I better be getting back.”

X:  “If you’re worried about Perdicus, don’t.  He’s a good
soldier-- he’ll be all right.”

G:  “I hope so-- huh.  So-- did you find out Helen’s plan to end
the war?”

X:  “She wants me to take her back to Menelaus.”

G:  “You’re kidding!  Are you gonna do it?”

X:  “No-- it won’t solve anything.  But I do think she’s in
danger here.”

G:  “How come?”

X:  “There’s something going on in Troy.  I don’t know what it
is, but I can feel it.  I’d feel a lot better if you stayed here
with Perdicus.  I know he’ll take care of you.  I’ve got
something to do.  Keep your eyes open.”

Trojan Sold:  “Yes, sir-- I’ll be right down.”


X:  “What do you think you’re doing?”

Helen:  “The only thing I can.  I’m going to Menelaus, with or
without your help.”

X:  “That’s not the answer.”

Helen:  “Then, what is?  Every day another soldier dies for my
happiness.  I can’t live with it anymore!”

X:  “Then don’t.  The war stopped being about your happiness a
long time ago, Helen.  We both know Paris doesn’t love you.  And
Menelaus barely knows you.  The war will go on without you,
Helen.  Let it.”

Helen:  “But, where would I go?  What would I do?”

X:  “What do you want to do?”

Helen:  “I don’t know.  No one’s ever asked me that before.”

Trojan Sold’s Voice:  “Deiphobus.”

Helen:  “Where’s Deiphobus going?”

X:  “Wait here.”

Trojan Soldiers:  “Do you see anything?”  “All clear here!”
“Arrows [?] up on the north wall.”


Gk Sold:  “Long live Greece!”  [As well as other things muttered
in the background]


Deiphobus:  “They don’t suspect a thing.”

Menelaus:  “Excellent work, Deiphobus.”

Gk Soldiers:  “Take the next watch.”  “Yes, sir.”  “Get ready.”
“More fire water here.”  Etc.


X:  “I followed Deiphobus to the Greek camp, where I saw him
plotting with King Menelaus.”

Deiphobus:  “She’s right.  I did meet with Menelaus.  But I was
there to convince him that he’ll never win this war.  I was
there to make peace.”

Helen:  “You mean--”

Deiphobus:  “Yes.  At long last, King Menelaus has decided to
give up.”

Helen:  “Thank the gods!”

X:  “What I saw was no council of peace.  Your brother is a

Trojan Sold:  “I have reports from every platoon.  The Greek
army has pulled out, and they’ve left a gift of peace at the

Paris:  [Laughs]

X:  “Beware Greeks bearing gifts, Paris.”

Deiph:  “Too little, too late, Xena.  Your people have

X:  “Can’t you see what’s going on?”

Deiph:  “Don’t listen to her!  She can’t be trusted.  Ask
yourself this:  What was Xena doing near the Greek camp?  You’ve
won the war, my brother.”

[They laugh]

Paris:  “You’re right about Xena.  I can’t take any chances.”

Helen:  “No-- you can’t do this.”

Paris:  “Things are a little more complicated than they seem, my
dear.  Why don’t you find yourself something _pretty_ to wear to
the celebration.  Get her!”

Trojan Sold:  “Move!”


Trojan Soldiers:  “Let’s get it inside!  Heave!  Heave!  Heave!
Heave!  Heave!  Heave!  Heave!  Heave!  Heave!  Heave!  Break
out the wine!”


Trojan Sold:  “Get in there!”


Trojan Sold:  “To the victory of Troy!



Deiph:  “Good morning!  Too bad you’re missing all the fun,
Xena.  There’s been quite a celebration.”

X:  “Don’t even bother, Deiphobus.  You might fool the others.”

Deiph:  [Laughs] “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

X:  “We both know that horse is a trick.  But what I can’t
figure out, is what a scum-sucking opportunist like you would
want Helen back with Menelaus for?”

Deiph:  [Laughs]

X:  “What do you get out of it?”

Deiph:  “Have you met the new prisoner?  This is Xena, the Greek
warrior who betrayed you by helping the people of Troy.”


Paris:  “Why a sad face?”

Helen:  “I don’t feel much like celebrating.”

Paris:  “Don’t be silly.  We _finally_ defeated Menelaus and his
army.  You should be-- overjoyed.  Still angry about Xena?  I’ve
told you, she’s in the dungeon because that’s where she

Helen:  “But, she’s done nothing wrong.  If you really love me,
you’ll trust my judgment.”

Paris:  “I’m tired of this-- I didn’t fight ten long years to
listen to your judgment.  Get dressed.  We have a celebration to


[Xena fights Greek prisoners]

X:  “Thanks, fellas!”


G:  “That was some party.  I wonder what happened to Xena.  It’s
not like her to be gone so long.”

Perd:  “She’s probably up at the palace.  I’m sure that Helen
and Paris are throwing the biggest party of all.”

G:  [Laughs] “I don’t know-- She’s not much for parties.”

Perd:  “Well, I wouldn’t worry-- I’m sure that she can _more_
than take care of herself.”

G:  “Troy’s not like back home-- is it?”

Perd:  “Do you remember-- the time-- that we got caught stealing
corn from Hylus’ farm, and he threatened to tell your father?”

G:  “But then you took the blame so I woudn’t be punished.  Did
I ever thank you for that?”

Perd:  “No.”

G:  “Thank you.  Did you ever think, when we were kids, that
we’d find each other again-- here-- in the middle of Troy?”

Perd:  “No, but I’m sure glad that we did.”  


Gk Soldiers:  “Open the gates!”  “Hurry!”  “Open the gates!”
“Open them!”

Menelaus:  “Find Helen, and bring her to me!”

Deiph:  “It’s begun.  Menelaus is looking for Helen.  It’s your
job to find her first.”

Soldier:  “What about Paris?”

Deiph:  “Leave my brother to me.”



X:  “Round up as many people as you can.  Meet me at the temple
of Aphrodite.”

Perd:  “Where are you going?”

X:  “To get Helen.”

G:  “Let’s go.”


G:  “Hurry!  In here!”

Paris:  I don’t know.  Just find the rest of your men; retreat
to the south battlement; and form a new line of defense.

Trojan Sold:  “Yes, Paris.”

Paris:  “Go!  “Perdicus.  How did this happen?”

Perd:  “The surrender was a trick.  The Greeks have broken
through the main gates.  Come with us to the temple.  Come on!
Close the gates.”


Trojan Soldiers:  “It’s Helen!  Take her!”

Helen:  “What are you doing?  Take me to Paris.”

Trojan Sold:  “Sorry-- We’ve got other orders.”

X:  “Come on, let’s go!”


Trojan Sold:  “Down here! Down here!”

Perd:  “That’s everyone.  Secure the doors.”

Paris:  “Xena-- I misjudged you.”


Gk. Sold:  “Everything proceeds according to schedule.”

Menelaus:  “Good-- Have you found Helen yet?”

Gk Sold:  “Helen and the others are in the temple.  They’ve
barracaded the doors.”

Menelaus:  “Well, what are you waiting for?!  Break it down!”

Gk Sold:  “We’re trying.”

Menelaus:  “Bring Helen to me!  Torch the city and everything in
it!  And remove the horse!  I want it as a memento of my
conquest!  Burn the city!  Burn Troy to the ground!”


Helen:  “Let me out.  Menelaus will stop this madness once I

X:  “I can’t let you do that.”

Helen:  “It’s _me_ they want.”

X:  “Maybe there’s another way.  Show me where the supply room

Helen:  “I don’t see how--”

X:  “Show me.”

Helen:  “This way.”

Perd:  “Looks like the entire Greek army’s out there.  It
doesn’t look good.”

G:  “Perdicus?
Perd:  “Gab--  Y-- You--”

G:  “This may be the last chance I get to tell you this. I am--
I’m really sorry.  I know that I treated you badly--”

Perd:  “And I let you.  It was just as much my fault, Gabrielle.
If only we could’ve been honest with each other.”

G:  “I can’t be more honest than this?”


Helen:  “This room was built to store foods and supplies in case
the Greeks ever invaded.  I never thought we’d-- use it.”

X:  “No, this’ll do just fine.”

Helen:  “It’s all right.  I’d like to speak to him for a

X:  “Don’t be too long.”

Paris:  “I’m sorry.”

X:  “You don’t owe _me_ an apology.”

Paris:  “I don’t know how all this happened.  I just wanted to
love you.”

Helen:  “No-- You wanted to own me.  If we survive-- I’m not
gonna stay with you.  I want my own life.”

Paris:  “Deiphobus.  The Greeks deceived you.”

Deiph:  “It wasn’t me who was deceived.  There’s only one man
worthy of Helen [Stabs Paris]-- me.”

Helen:  “No!  Why?!”

Deiph:  “Because now, you’re mine.”

Helen:  “Xena!”



X:  “Everything all right?”

Perd:  “Do you think we have enough of this stuff?”

X:  “Trust me-- We’ll have the biggest smokescreen you have ever

G:  “Where’s-- where’s Paris and Helen?”

X:  “In the supply room.”

G:  “I’ll get ‘em.”


Gk Soldiers:  “It’s giving way!”  “Keep pushing, men!”


X:  “Gabrielle, hurry!”

G:  “Xena?!  Paris is dead.”

X:  “What?  Where’s Helen?”

G:  “She’s gone.”

Perd:  “Menelaus has taken her.”

X:  “No, no-- He would’ve called off his army.”

G:  “Then who?”

X:  “Deiphobus.”

Perd:  “Deiphobus?  But why?”

X:  “No time to find out now.  We’ll leave the same way
Deiphobus came in!  Go!  Go!  Go!  Go!  Run!  Run!”

G:  “Xena!”

Gk Soldiers:  “Where’d they go?!”  “I can’t see!”  “Find Helen!”


Menelaus:  “So, where is she?  Where’s Helen?”

Gk. Sold:  “I’m sorry.  We’ve checked every corner of the
temple.  There’s no one.”

Menelaus:  “You fool!  You’ve let them get away!  Shut the
gates!  No one leaves the city!”

Gk. Sold:  “As Menelaus ordered, remove the horse!”


Gk. Soldier:  “I thought this thing would be a lot lighter with
nobody in it.”

X:  “Thanks for the lift.  Get everyone away from the horse.
I’ll meet you on the next road.”

G:  “Where are you going?”

X:  “To get Helen.  Run for your miserable lives.”


Helen:  “What do you _want_ from me?!”

Deiph:  “What does every man want from Helen of Troy?”

Helen:  “Don’t you realize what you’ve done?!  You’ve killed
your own brother!  And ruined Troy!  And for what?  A woman who
will only despise you!”

Deiph:  “No matter.  With you at my side, we’ll build a new
city; give birth to a new race of Trojans.  With my strength and
your beauty, our children will rule the world.”


X:  “Leaving so soon?”

Deiph:  “Xena, keep away from us.”

[They fight]

Helen:  “What now?”

X:  “We leave him here.  When Menelaus comes out of Troy
empty-handed, I want Deiphobus to be the first thing he sees.
Very nice.  Come on.”


Perd:  “Listen, Gabrielle.  I know-- things got pretty crazy in
there.  And, maybe you said some things that, that you didn’t
really mean.  I just want you to know that-- I don’t expect
anything from you.  As far as I’m concerned, we can go our
separate ways.”

G:  “Right-- Ha-hah!  That’s exactly what I was thinking.”

Perd:  “Great.”

G:  “Good, good.”

Perd:  “I know-- that we’ll see each other again, some day.  You
take care of yourself.”

G:  “You too.”


Helen:  “Thank you for everything.  I just wish we could have
saved Troy.”

X:  “When two kings are bent on destruction, there’s nothing
much anyone can do.”

Helen:  “You’ve done a lot for me, Xena.  You showed me the only
person-- that can make me happy is me.  I appreciate that.”

X:  “You’re welcome.  What’s next for you?”

Helen:  “I don’t know.  But-- for the first time it’s my

X:  “I know you’ll make it the right one.”

Perd:  “Goodbye, Xena.”

X:  “Perdicus, where you headed?”

Perd:  “A new city-- a few days’ journey from here.  But who

Helen:  “It sounds wonderful.  Do you mind if I travel with you
for a while?”

Perd:  “Not at all.  I’ll send a messenger ahead to announce
your arrival-- so the leaders can--”

Helen:  If it’s all the same to you, I think I’d rather-- be
treated like a normal person for a change.”

X:  “You take care.”

Helen:  “You know I will.”

Perd:  “Shall we?”

Helen:  “OK.”


X:  “I thought Perdicus would be joining us for a while.”

G:  “No-- I think he’s made other plans.”

X:  “Oh.”

G:  “Do you want to go back for the horse?  It’s bound to be a
collectors’ item?”

X:  “Only if you’re gonna pull it.”

G:  “Nah.”

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