Whoosh! Online
Edition Click here for the Xena Infocenter


“Forget Me Not”  Episode 17/66


[[[[[[X:  “Hope?  The child is Hope?”  G:  “I’m sorry.  I never
meant to lie.  Xena-- I couldn’t kill her.  She’s my daughter.
You’re a mother-- you know this!  I had to save her.”  X:
“Maybe it’s not too late.  She’s young.  Poison’ll kill her if
her powers aren’t mature.”  G:  “Poison?  Xena, she is my
child!”  X:  “She is not a child!  She is a body-- a vessel-- an
instrument for evil.  That is all!”

[G almost drinks poison.] ]]]]]]


J:  “I’m ready!  I’m ready!  I’m ready!  I’m ready!  Oop!  Ooh!
Oh!  Uh-oh.  OK.  Ooh!  Gabrielle?  Hey-- you OK?”

G:  “I can’t.”

J:  “What’s the matter?  Huh?”

G:  “I can’t do this.”

J:  “OK.  Uh-- then, then-- we won’t.  We don’t have to.  Uh--
never again.  What are you  talking about?”

G:  “I have to go.”

J:  “Go?  Go where?  Hey, Xena told us to meet her near the
temple of Mnemosyne.  I don’t think it’s such a great idea to be
walking around these-- wait.  Wait!  Hey!  Hey.  Hey, hey, hey--
Look, OK-- I-- I don’t know what’s up.  But I know something’s
wrong.  Maybe I can help you.”

G:  “No one can help.  It’s my memories.  I can’t shake them.
I, I can’t sleep.  I can’t eat.  It’s like I’m paying for
something, but I don’t know what it is.  I have to find the

J:  “OK, OK, OK, we’ll- we’ll-- meet up with Xena later-- OK?”

G:  “Joxer, I have to do this alone.  Wait here.”

J:  “Wait!  How long?”

G:  “I don’t know.”

J:  [Ticking, then bell]  “That’s long enough.”


G:  “Is this the temple of Mnemosyne?  Was I supposed to bring
something?  An offering?  Hello.  Wait.”

Woman:  “Sorry-- do I know you?”

G:  “No.  I’m not from here.”

Woman:  “Am I?”

G:  “Excuse me?  Wait-- did you see her?  You saw the Priestess
of Mnemosyne, didn’t you?  And your memories-- ”

Priest:  “The Priestess will see you now.”

G:  “Will I end up like her?”

Priest:  “You have questions that need to be answered?”

G:  “Yes.  I have pain-- incredible pain.  I want it to end.”

Priest:  “Erasing the pain of memory comes with a price.  Are
you prepared to lose everything you’ve ever known?”

G:  “Yes, I’m prepared.”

Priest:  “Enter.”



G:  “Mnemosyne-- goddess of memory.”

Priestesss’ Voice:  “You are haunted by memories-- images from
your past.  You want to understand why they still haunt you.”

G:  “How did you know that?”

Priestess  [Walking into view]:  “When you entered the temple,
your memories became  Mnemosyne’s-- became mine.  We know more
about you than you know about yourself.  But then, that is why
you’re here-- to find that part out about you-- that you don’t

G:  “Can you help me?”

Priestess:  “Perhaps.  Your memories are like a body of water.
Some flow deep-- out of your reach.  Others flow easily on the
surface.  Ah-- this one’s  yours.”

G:  “You could open a pottery shop.”

Priestess:  “Fill the bowl from the jug.  There is one bowl
filled for every person who comes to us.”

G:  “Filled with what?”

Priestess:  “Memories-- answers.  Gabrielle-- you’re about to
take a journey through your memories.”

G:  “Like a dreamscape?” 

Priestess:  “Do not confuse dreams with memories.  Your memory
has three rivers.  To find the answer to your pain, you _must_
cross them all.  Once you find the answer, you will have to

G:  “Decide what?”

Priestess:  “On whether to keep your past or forever lose it.
This bowl will hold everything you know.  If it is ever
emptied-- so goes your memory.  Do you understand the risk?”

G:  “I’ve decided.  I need to know.”


J:  “Ugh!  Ugh!  Oh!  Tough guys, eh?  Well, my _friend’s_ in
there, and I wanna _see_ her!”

Priest:  “You can see her when she comes out.  She is with the
Priestess of Mnemosyne, now.”

J:  “Oh, yeah?  Well, um-- I got news for ya.  I’ll be back.
You’re both on my list.  And I’m _not_ taking any names!”  


J:  [Climbs tree]  “Uh!  Aah!  Uh!”


[Chant of Priestesses]


J:  “Uh!  Aah!  [Panting]  Gabrielle?  Gabriellllle!  Ooh!  Ow!
Ow!  Oh!  Oh!”


J:  “Ha!  Now-- I will destroy you with the _ultimate_ power!
[Throws dirt in their faces]  Ooh!”


J:  “Gabrielle!”

Priestess:  “She is on her journey, Joxer.  That Gabrielle is
just an empty shell, with no realization of her past.”

J:  “Get away from her.  How’d you know my name?”

Priestess:  “I have your memories-- ow.”

J:  “Whatever.  I’m gettin’ her out of here.  Don’t try and stop

Priestess:  “Your feelings give you away.  If you love her,
allow her the chance to lose the pain she carries.  It’s in her

J:  “Yeah?  Well, I can make her forget.  I’m a very forgettable


Ares:  “Uh-uh-uh-- I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

G:  “What are you doing here?”

Ares:  “You don’t know?  Oh, yeah-- the memory thing, right?
Got a problem up here?  Bad thoughts keeping you up nights?
Believe it or not-- I’m here to protect you.  Remember when
you-- stole my powers with that whole-- scroll business?  I
know-- call me a big softie, but-- I decided I like you after

G:  “Maybe you’re here for your own selfish reasons.” 

Ares:  “Aren’t you?  It’s called the ‘River of Wailing.’  And
just remember-- I did warn you.”

[Wailing sounds]

G:  “This isn’t so bad, Ares.  ‘River of Wailing,’ is it?

[[[[[[G:  “Ah!”  Crafstar:  “Look out!”  G:  “Ahh!  Ah!”
Crafstar:  “Gabrielle!”  G:  “Ahh!”  [G kills Meridian.] ]]]]]]

[[[[[[Crassus:  “I thought you were different from her.  I
thought you had a regard for life, no matter whose.”  G:
“You’re not going to die, Crassus.  I said I’d switch you.  Now,
if the guards recognize who you are-- I have no control over
that.”  Crassus:  “Don’t rely on that.  Most of Rome doesn’t
know what I look like, let alone the prison guards.”  G:  “You
will with this-- your imperial ring.  It identifies you in every
province.  Show this to the guards once we’re gone.”  Crassus:
“I’m-- sorry about what I said.”]]]]]]

[[[[[[Crassus:  “Wait.  What’re you-- ?  I’m not Vercinix!  I’m
Crassus!  I’m not Vercinix!  I’m Crassus!  My ring-- I’m telling
you-- my ring!  My imperial ring!”  Crowd:  [Cheers]  Crassus:
“Tell them who I am!”  Crowd:  “Yeah!”  Crassus:  “Caesar!  No!

G:  “Ahhhhhhhhhhh!”



Ares:  “‘The River of Woe.’  You know?  It isn’t any better than
the one you just went through.  Think about it.”

G:  “I have.  The last one took me by suprise, but-- I’m ready
for this.”

Ares:  “I hope so.  This river runs deep.”


J:  “Oh.  OK.  Wait here.  These are your scrolls.  You wrote
them.  This is _your bag_.  Oh, OK.  _This_-- is _your_ staff.
Huh?  Ooh.  Sound familiar now?”

Forgotten G:  “Sorry, Jerkster.”

J:  “Joxer.”

Forgotten G:  “Joxer?  Nothing seems familiar, In fact, I don’t
even know what _familiar_ feels like.”

J:  “High priestess was right-- gates are open, but no one’s
stormin’ the castle.  Oh!  Oh-_ho_-ho!  Oh.  Now-- _I_-- am
going to-- _teach you_ a-_bout_ yourself.  I’m going to-- give
you your memories back.  OK?  But-- just the good ones-- none of
the painful ones.  That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”

Forgotten G:  “I don’t know.”

J:  “Sit down.  Sit!  Sit!  I’ll fix this right now.  OK.  Good!
The first one-- ‘Sins of the Past.’  ‘It was a-- warm day in--
Poteidaia, when the bard awoke.  As she-- _moved_ softly through
the-- ”

Forgotten G:  [Interrupts]  “Excuse me.”

J:  “Y-yeah?”

Forgotten G:  “What’s a Poteidaia?”


Ares:  “So-- found a bit of an ice bridge.  Good-- very good.”

G:  “If I can-- if I can just stay above the water-- it can’t
hurt me.”

Ares:  “Hmm-- interesting.  There’s an analogy here, of course--
the water representing our torments, the ice-- the thin layer of
control we’d like to believe that we have over it.”

G:  “Shut up!”  

Ares:  “But it’s a _false_ confidence if the ice should
_suddenly_ develop a-- ”

G:  “Help me.”

Ares:  “Not my job, my dear.  Well-- not yet, anyway.”

G:  “Ahh!”

[[[[[[G:  “I’m sorry, Xena.  I couldn’t let you do this.”]]]]]]

[[[[[[G:  “Is the green dragon a person?”  X:  “Yes.”  G:
“Which person?”  X:  “The one I’m gonna kill.”]]]]]]

[[[[[[Ming T’ien:  “So, you have nothing to say in your defense,
Xena.”  G:  “Xena.”  Ming T’ien:  “So be it.  Tomorow, at dawn,
you’ll experience this life for the last time.”]]]]]]

[[[[[[X and Lao Ma fly.]]]]]]

[[[[[[G:  “You owe someone so much-- that you would just throw
away these last few years.”  X:  “Yes.”]]]]]]

[[[[[[G:  “Yah!  Say it!  Xena-- if you promise them-- they will
banish you.  Please-- we can ride away from this.”]]]]]]

Ares:  [Laughs]  Prepared for that, were you?”

G:  “I can’t continue.  I-it’s too much.”

Ares:  “That’s the spirit.  Let it go!  I mean, what does it
matter?  Pain is just nature’s way of saying, ‘Hey!  You’re
alive.’  Accept it.  Who needs it?”

G:  “I can go back.  I have the answer.”

Ares:  “Do you, now?”

G:  “Yes.  I thought that I’d never come to terms-- with my
mistakes.  But I did-- when I visited Xena-- in Ming T’ien’s

[[[[[[G:  “Can we talk?  Of course not.  I betrayed you.  The
pathetic thing is-- I thought I was saving you.  My reverence
for life kept a brutal tyrant in power, and led to my best
friend’s execution.  I know you hate me, Xena-- no more than I
hate myself.”  X:  “Scratch my nose, will you?”  G:  [Cries]  X:
“Come on.”]]]]]]

G:  “You see?  Now I know.”

Ares:  “Is this something you-- just realized?”

G:  “Yes.  I-- I have come to terms with it.  I just didn’t
realize it.  It has to be the answer- swer, right?”

Ares:  “You-- are such a smart little girl.  That’s what I like
about you.  Now go-- back through the ‘River of Woe’-- toward
home.  Don’t worry.  If anything happens, I’ll be here to save
you.  That is, if it doesn’t bother you owing a favor to the god
of war.”

G:  “I was right.  I can’t see my memories anymore.  No!  What
is this?!  Stop it!”  

Ares:  [Laughs]

G:  “No!”



G:  [Screams]  

Ares:  “Whoops-- I guess you were wrong.  Nice try, though.”

G:  [Shivering]  “You-- said you’d-- save me.”

Ares:  “No, no.  What I said was, ‘I would be _here_ to save
you-- and I _am_.”

G:  “I can’t go back.  I can’t go forward.  I don’t know what to

Ares:  “Well-- seems to me the answer’s obvious.  You could stay
here for all eternity or-- death.  Just tryin’ to help.”


Forgotten G:  “It’s very strange.  With every story you tell me,
this thing I’m wearing gets smaller.  Is it enchanted?”

J:  “Uh-- yeah.  They, uh-- they are.  It is.”

Forgotten G:  “Hmm.”

J:  “_Gotta_ be around here, somewhere.  I know sh-- _you_ wrote
about it.”

Forgotten G:  “Jerkster-- do I live around here?”

J:  “It’s Joxer-- not Jerkster.  It’s Joxer.  And no, you don’t.
You-- wander around-- with-- me and Xena-- doing good stuff,
like-- you know-- the stuff I-- told you about in the scrolls.”

Forgotten G:  “I’m looking forward to meeting Xena.  You think
she’ll like me?”

J:  “Probably.  Oh, Ok-- I got it!  I got it.  Come here-- sit

Forgotten G:  “Are you going to sing that ‘Jerks-- ’ that--
‘Joxer the Mighty’ song, again?  I like that song.”

J:  “Are you kiddin’ me?  You hate it.”

Forgotten G:  “I do?”

J:  “No, uh-- you love it.  Uh, but _this_ is the story of

Forgotten G:  “Callisto?”

J:  “Yeah.”

Forgotten G:  “Do I like her?”

J:  “No-- but, uh-- I want you to hear when we first met.  Uh--
‘this mus--’ yeah, ‘Suddenly, there he was.  He called himself,
“Joxer,” a warrior.’  Huh-- well-termed phrase, I must say.
‘But a warrior like no other-- so inept-- so clumsy-- s-- ’ uh--
so-- cleverly disguised-- as a bumbler-- that-- uh-- no one
suspected his true warrior nature.  Hmm.”  

Forgotten G:  “That’s nice.”

J:  “Yeah, yeah-- it gets better-- lots better.  Then I
realized-- that’s-- you talking-- then I realized that I was
completely taken by this handsome, mysterious, dark leader of
men.  Hmm.”

Forgotten G:  “I’m in love with you?”

J:  “Yes.  Yes, you are.”

Forgotten G:  “I think I knew that.  Go on.”

J:  “So-- a thousand men attacked Joxer.  He battle them
bravely-- one by one.”


G:  “I’m here, Ares.”

Ares:  “So, you are.  I wondered.”

G:  “I have to go on.  The priestess said the answer’s on the
other side.”

Ares:  “What she told you means nothing.  If you survive, the
answer might be there.  Is it all worth it?  Is the quest for
knowledge worth all this pain?”

G:  “Yes.  It has to be.  Otherwise, what’s the point of

Ares:  “Point-- there is no point to living.  Don’t you get it,
Gabrielle?  Maybe, that’s the source of all your pain-- all
you’ve been through with Xena-- all she’s put you through.
Maybe, you finally realized it all adds up to a big, fat zero.” 

G:  “You’re wrong-- not with Xena.  We were lost, once.  But
Solon-- he took us to Illusia to give us one more chance.  We
found ourselves.”

[[[[[[Hatred  [Sings]:  “It begins very small,
Seems like nothing much at all.
Just a germ, just a speck, just a grain.

“But the seed has been sewn,
And before you know it's grown,
It has spread through your life like a stain.

“And its power will strangle
Your love and your joy.
And its hunger consumes--
For it lives to destroy!”

[Caesar, Crafstar, Callisto, and Ares appear during the singing
of this last verse.]

X  [Speaks]:  Hatred, Gabrielle, that's what we're fighting --

Hatred Chorus:  “Hate is the star;
It becomes who you are.
Not the hated but the hater--
Has a torment that's greater.

[X bound to cross and G chained to altar of Dahok]

“It will eat you alive,
Consume you and spit you out.
Hate's gonna win--
That there's no doubt about!

“Hate doesn't care
Who you are!
Hate is the star!

“Learning hate is an art.
Even people who are smart
Can be caught, can be crushed, can be creamed.

Hatred:  “It has swallowed you whole.
Did you think you're in control?
Hate you thought, hate you spoke, hate you dreamed.

“All your hate gave me substance--
Your lives are undone.”
Hatred Chorus:  It's your eve of destruction--
Your hatred has won!”

G:  “No!”

X:  “Gabrielle!”

[Hatred laughs]

X  [Sings]:  “I never dreamed that we'd be 
Distanced by a hate--
That all the trust we had would go.

G:  “How could I hate you?”
X:  “How could it come to pass,
This awful twist of fate?”

G:  “How could I hurt you?
X:  “This madness can't be so-- ”
G:  “I can't believe it.”

X:  “I never dreamed 
That any barriers could rise.”
G:  “Or that I'd ever see 
The stranger in your eyes.”

X:  “Our hearts were hurting both the same.”
G:  “The hurt was tearing up our souls.”
X:  “The fury in us made us blind.”
G:  “We could not see beyond the pain.”

X:  “If we can turn again to love.”
G:  “If we can heal these open wounds.”
X:  “We'll leave this hatred far behind.”
G:  “So not a trace of hate remains.”

X and G:  “We'll overcome our damaged past!
And we'll grow stronger side by side!
To stand together through the storms!
We're safe 'cause love will be our guide!”

[Evil images destroyed; X and G released from their bonds.]

[Hatred laughs.] ]]]]]]

G:  “It was worth it.”

Ares:  “Then why are you still here?  Answer me.”

G:  “Uh!  Uh!”

[[[[[[X:  “Gabrielle, I am catching a ship here that will carry
me close to the kingdom of Ch’in.  If there was ever a time to
turn back, it’s now.  I understand.”  G:  “You owe someone so
much-- that you would just throw away these last few years.”  X:

G:  [Screaming]  “You!”  [Screams]  [Screams]  “Noooooooo!
Noooooooooo!  Nooooooooo!”  [Screams]  [Screams]  [Screams]



G:  [Screams]  [Screams]  [Screams]

Ares:  “Yes-- now you know.  But your strength is gone.  The
truth you looked for-- it’s done you no good.”

G:  “You’re wrong!  Wrong!  Wrong!  Wrong!  Wrong!  Wrong!  You
aren’t Ares.  You aren’t a god!  You’re from within me.  You’re
that part of me who wants to hide the truth.”

Ares:  “Call me what you will-- your guilt-- your denial.  You
can’t defeat me.  You’ll only die trying.”


G:  “That’s why you’re here as Ares.”

Ares:  “Yeah-- Ares is the key.  But he’s only half the answer.”

G:  “I _know_-- it’s because of what I did.  It’s because of
_why_ I did it.”

[[[[[[Ares:  “Well-- there she goes without you.  Kind of makes
you feel second best, doesn’t it?”  G:  “Leave me alone, Ares.
Xena has her own decisions to make.”  Ares:  “Really?  Sounds
more like an obligation to me.  Yeah-- Lao Ma must be important,
all right.  Xena would never do anything like this for you.
Funny, isn’t it?  You give up your family, your home, your blood
innocence, your daughter-- all because of Xena.  And yet it’s--
like nothing compared to the debt she owes this woman.  Of
course, you could always stop her.”  G:  “I could never get to
Ch’in fast enough.  Xena’s sure to take the fastest route.”
Ares:  “Hmm.  That is true.  You’re only mortal, after all.”  G:
“You could do it.  You could get me there ahead of her.”  Ares:
“Is that what you want?  ‘Cause you have to ask me-- that is, if
it doesn’t bother you owing a favor to the god of war.”  G:
“Send me there-- I’m asking.”  Ares:  “To prevent a murder-- for
the sake of friendship.”  G:  “Yeah-- for friendship.”]]]]]]

[Fight continues]

G:  “I wanted to get there before Xena-- so that I could betray
her.  I _wanted_ to betray her.  I gave her _everything_ and it
meant nothing to her.  I hated her for loving someone else.  I
wanted her to hurt!  I wanted her to be punished!  And I almost
got her killed.  Why-- my hatred and jealousy almost destroyed
my best friend.”

Ares:  “So-- now you have the answer.  The question is-- can you
live with it?  Drink.  Empty the bowl.”

G:  “If the bowl is ever emptied, so go my memories.”

Ares:  “And the pain-- all that pain.”

G:  “And the memories of my youth-- my parents-- my loves.”

Ares:  “The betrayal-- the killing-- the death of your child.”

G:  “And Xena.”

Ares:  “Bottom line, Gabrielle-- you won’t miss what you never


J:  “Mm-hmm.  Yep.  That’s it.  That’s your whole life, right

Forgotten G:  “By the gods-- I am so _incredibly_ in _love_ with
you.  I wish I could feel that again.”

J:  “Yeah, so do I.”

Forgotten G:  “Take me, Joxer-- now.  Like the time, just before
you saved Ulysses.”

J:  “OK.  [G kisses J.]  Wait.”

Forgotten G:  “I wanna remember!”

J:  “Oh.  Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, OK, yeah-- so do I-- so do I-- but
not like _this_!  

Forgotten G:  “Is this that centurion/gladiator game we used to

J:  “No.  N- no.  N- n- no, no, Gabrielle.  Look, I, I--
elaborated a little bit on-- some of the things I told you about
you and I-- uh-- a little-- a little bit-- lot, lots.  Well-- a
lottta littles.  I lied.”

Forgotten G:  “You lied.  What’s a lie?”

J:  “A lie is-- me thinking I could give you back all your happy
memories.  I’m just-- not a part of those, and I really wanted
to be.  Look-- I didn’t rescue Ulysses-- that was Xena.  And I
didn’t get Ares back his godhood.  That was Xena, too.  And I
didn’t convert Hercules back from being evil.  That was-- well--
it was complicated.  And-- Callisto’s not my love kitten, but
look, Gabrielle-- I just want the old Gabrielle back, you know?
The one that used to smack me on the forehead and gouge out my
eyes, and-- just-- forget everything I’ve told you.  It’s not
who you are.  Except the part about-- dancing nude in the rain--
that is you.”

G:  “Joxer.”

J:  “Jerkst-- hey!  Ahh!”

G:  “I have never-- nor will I ever-- dance in the nude in the
rain with you anywhere near me.” 

J:  “Gaby-- you’re back!  Ahhh!  Ow.  Oh.”

X:  “Yes, she is.”

J:  “Oh.  Ah-ahh.  Ow.  Oh-oh.  Oh!”

G:  “Xena-- you knew all along.  That’s why-- you wanted me to
wait at the temple of Mnemosyne, right?”

X:  “I wondered how you made it to Ch’in ahead of me.  I figured
Ares might have a hand in it, but what I couldn’t understand was
_why_?  Nightmares can tell you a lotta things.  Thank the gods,
you talk in your sleep.  I knew this was one journey you had to
make without me.  I’m just glad you made it back.”

G:  “If I didn’t have the painful memories, then I wouldn’t know
what the good ones were like, right?  I-- I just couldn’t let it
go, Xena, no matter what the pain.  I’m sorry.”

X:  “No-- no, it’s over.  Welcome home.”

J:  “Hey-- aren’t you forgettin’ about me?” 

X:  “No, Joxer-- not even Mnemosyne could help her with that.”


Click here to return to FORGET ME NOT page.

Guide Table of ContentsBack to Whoosh!