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TRANSCRIPTION OF
CHAKRAM



"Chakram"  Episode 92/502

[TEASER]

Narrator:  "Previously, on Xena-- [[[[[[Cal's Voice:  "They sent me to a place that makes Tartarus look like-- the Elysian fields."  Cal:  "They call it Hell."  X:  "Couldn't have happened to a nicer gal."  Cae:  "You can't have a crucifixion without crosses, Brutus."  Bru:  "You're crucifying Gabrielle."  Cae's Voice:  "All of them."  G:  "Xena!"  Cal:  "I promised to deliver you to my lord-- and that's _exactly_ what I'm gonna do."  Mic:  "Your friend has been taken to Hell."  Cal:  "Aren't _you_ the lucky girl?  You get to spend eternity with me."  Mic:  "You've walked through the fire of purification.  Now-- your cleansing is complete."  Mic:  "Xena gave herself up-- to save one of the damned."  G:  "Are you telling me that Xena is in Hell-- and she's in paradise?"  [Fight]  Cal:  "Love is the way."  G:  [Gasps]]]]]]]

Kal:  "What do you want, Ares?"

Ares:  "I gotta tell you, Kal-- this place is shabbier than I remember it.  It's gotta be tough when those tributes stop comin' in.  But I-- digress.  So let's just cut the crap and while you're at it, you stop tryin' to snatch Xena.  Force doesn't work with her.  Never has-- never will.  So, uh-- stop it."

Kal:  "And clear the field for you.  Nice try."

Ares:  "Are you still mad about me stealing the dark chakram?  That was years ago!"

Kal:  "If you hadn't-- then none of this would have happened.  Xena-- teaming up with Eli."

Ares:  "Eli-- he's a sanctimonious stooge."

Kal:  "Who raised the dead."

Ares:  "Raised-- the dead.  A mere parlor trick."

Kal:  "And isn't that what really brought you here?  The feel of that force working through him."

Ares:  "No, I think we both know why I'm here.  So, you take my advice.  Back-- off."

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Kal:  "Fear, Brother Caleb?  Surely, a holy man like you is pure enough to meet the challenge.  Or would you rather die where you stand?"

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Caleb [Cal]:  [Screams]

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Jox:  "I'm really glad you guys, um-- .  I can't believe you're here."

G:  "Thank you, Joxer."

Jox:  "I'll get you some food."

Amarice [Ama]:  "I've got something for you.  Look, I saved 'em for you.  I was hoping-- could be fixed.  You think?"

X:  "OK."

Jox:  "Come on, Amarice.  Come on."

G:  "We're back-- together?"

X:  "Always."

G:  "Are you OK?"

X:  "Oh, yeah.  Just a little stiff.  You know, I feel like I've misplaced something."

G:  "Your clothes?  I think we need to find a market.  I don't know how we'll repair that, Xena.  It's not something you can take to a blacksmith."

X:  "Oh, this thing Amarice gave me?  What is this thing, anyway?"

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[ACT I]

G:  "You're kidding me.  Xena-- th-that's your chakram."

X:  "Well, it's very sharp.  It could be dangerous."

G:  "You don't remember it at all?"

X:  "Should I?  Listen-- I'm a bit hazy on everything right now.  Let's just try to get warm, huh?"

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Jox:  [Whistles]

G:  "What do you think?  You like 'em?"

X:  "Well, if that's what you want, you'd better ask Joxer.  He's the only one with any money."

Jox [In Background]:  "-- banana I have ever seen."

X:  "I'm kind of surprised, though.  Don't you need some scrolls or something?"

G:  "They're not for her.  They're for you."

X:  "Me?  Why?"

Jox:  "What's a warrior without a weapon?"

X:  "Is that a riddle?  Hang on, I love riddles?  `What is a warrior-- without a weapon?'"

Thug:  "Easy pickin's."

[Fight]

G:  "Xena!"

Jox:  "Uh!"

G:  "Joxer, help Xena!"

Jox:  "Come on."

G:  "Let's go!  Come on!"

Thug's Voice:  "Get them!"

Thug:  "It's not over, Xena!  Kal will have you!"

G:  "Run, Xena, run!  Come on!"

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G:  "Xena, what is wrong with you?"

X:  "Don't worry about me.  Joxer got hurt worse than I did."

G:  "I'm talking about _you_.  This look?  No weapons.  Why didn't you fight?"

X:  "Fight?"

Ama:  "You didn't even defend yourself."

X:  "So?"

Ama:  "So, you usually pulverize guys like that."

G [Softly]:  "There's something wrong with Xena."

X:  "You're gonna be all right."

X:  "Xena-- think about when you fought Callisto.  Alti?  Caesar?"

X:  "Who?"

Eli:  "Xena, listen to me.  Do you remember anything-- violent-- about yourself or about us?"

X:  "Violent?"

Jox:  "Yeah-- you know-- like, uh-- you and I-- fighting evil-- shoulder to shoulder?"

Eli:  "You mean-- you don't remember-- your death, or-- how you died?"

X:  "Some of my memories-- are a little fuzzy, but-- my death?  Come on."

G:  "Xena-- it's not your memory.  It's-it's like you've lost your-- "

Ama:  "-- fire and-- edge."

Jox:  "Marbles."

G:  "Yourself.  Don't you feel that?"

X:  "I feel-- empty."

Eli:  "I can't believe the power that brought you two back would make a mistake-- unless it was me-- unless _I_ did something wrong."

G:  "Eli, it's not your fault."

Ama:  "Maybe, it has something to do with the guards that jumped us in the marketplace."

Eli:  "What guards?"

Jox:  "Oh, yeah-- yeah, yeah.  They said something about, uh-- Kylie-- Keely."

X:  "Kal."

Jox:  "Kal."

Eli:  "Kal's the god of war in this region.  If there's a bigger picture, you can bet he's part of it."

G:  "One thing's for certain-- they don't give up easily."

X:  "What do we do next?"

Eli:  "I don't know-- but I know someone who might.  Come on."

G:  "Where are we going?"

Eli:  "To see an old friend of mine."

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X  "Eli-- who's this guy that we're going to see?"

Eli:  "Caleb-- he's one of my dearest friends.  We studied ancienct scriptures together before I went to India."

G:  "So, he's a scholar."

Ama:  "How's a guy like this supposed to help us fight a god?"

Eli:  "Knowledge is power, Amarice.  I'm sure there's something in his ancient texts that'll explain all this."

G:  "Well, we should pick up the pace then."

Jox:  "Eli, um-- can I ask you something?"

Eli:  "Fire away."

Jox:  "Look, um-- I know that-- Gabrielle thinks a _lot_ of you-- and-and I-- think-- a _lot_ about her.  The trouble is, she keeps-- dying-- before I can tell her-- but I was hoping that with your-- teachings of love and-- understanding, you could help me tell her."

Eli:  "Tell her what?"

Jox:  "That I love her."

Eli:  "You don't need my help.  Just speak from your heart."

Jox:  "No.  No, no.  No, no.  Look.  You're-you're-- Eli.  You're-- you know-- guru-- love god.  Do you have a poem or, like a parable?"

Eli [Interrupts]:  "Listen, Joxer."

Jox:  "Maybe I could give her-- "

Eli [Interrupts]:  "Joxer, just listen.  Just keep it simple, and she'll understand.  Love is the most powerful force on Earth."

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X:  "Living with me must have been a nightmare for you."

G:  "You had your moments."

X:  "Why did I have to kill them?"

G:  "Xena, in order to save the girls, you had to get rid of the slavers."

X:  "It's unbelievable.  Hey, Joxer-- come here.  Tell me some more about that time that you saved me from that woman.  What was her name?"

Jox:  "Oh, Callisto?  Well-- "

G:  [Clears throat]

Jox:  "-- actually, it was more of a team effort.  Look, Xena, you want great stories about yourself-- talk to Eli.  He's your man."

Eli:  "I've tried.  She doesn't believe me."

X:  "Eli, I know that _you_ believe those stories, but _me_ fighting demons?  Come on."

Eli:  "See what I mean?  Amarice, you can fill Xena in on some details, can't you?"

Ama:  "I would, but I'm going hunting."

Eli:  "Oh, even better.  You're a great tracker."

Ama:  "I move faster on my own."

X:  "Wanna bet?  Boo!"

Ama:  "Stop it!  You're not a child!  You're a warrior!  When are you gonna remember that and start acting normal?"

X:  "I hope your friend Caleb can deliver.  Hey, Amarice, wait up!"

Eli:  "What is it, Gabrielle?"

G [Sighs]:  "Before Xena and I died-- I realized that my path is not the same as yours.  I tried-- but the way of love is not for me."

Eli:  "I know.  I see that now."

G:  "It's ironic.  Right now, Xena-- is everything that I always wanted her to be-- but without her dark side, she's-- lost-- she's-she's-- off-balance.  My path is with Xena-- helping her-- however I can.  I'll do whatever I have to do to protect her."

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X:  "Amarice?  Amari-- ?"

Kal:  "Hello, Xena."

[Fight]

X:  "No!"

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[ACT II]

X:  "No!"

Kal:  "Come quietly-- and no harm will come to your friend."

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G:  "Xena.  Amarice?  Are you all right?"

Ama:  "Where's Xena?"

G:  "I was going to ask _you_ that."

Ama:  "She's not here?"

Jox:  "Amarice-- are you OK?"

Eli:  "What happened?  Where's Xena?"

Ama:  "Kal's got her.  Him and his main muscle threatened to kill me unless she went with him."

Jox:  "Went where?"

G:  "They went _this_ way.  Come on."

Eli:  "Let's go."

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Kal:  "Bring back memories?"

X:  "I don't know you."

Kal:  "You should.  I was once on my way to becoming the _greatest_ war god of them all."

X:  "What do you want with me?"

Kal:  "Let's just say-- I want you to stay as _sweet_ as you are-- till you get me what I want.  Last one I sent after it is probably toast-- purist monk in his order, too."

X:  "I don't understand.  What is it that you want me to get?"

Ares' Voice:  "Good question."

Ares:  "Hello, Xena.  What's a nice girl like you doing in manacles like those?"

X:  "Thank you."

Ares:  "Not a problem-- unlike _some_ people I could name.  Oh-- Kal, Kal, Kal, Kal, Kal-- I thought we had an understanding."

[Fight]

Ares:  "Uh-huh."

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Ama:  "Come on.  They're probably killing her."

G:  "Amarice-- if Kal wanted Xena dead, he would have killed her in the clearing."

Eli:  "She's right.  He needs her alive."

Jox:  "We need a plan."

G:  "I've got one."

X:  "What's going on?"

G:  "Xena-- what did he do to you?"

X:  "Nothing.  Nothing-- I'm fine."

Eli's Voice:  "We need to get to Caleb's as soon as possible.  Come on."

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G:  "Did you find anything?"

Jox:  "No."

Eli:  "Something's wrong.  Caleb's _always_ here."

G:  "Well, maybe there's a cook, or-- a servant?"

Eli:  "No, he likes doing things for himself.  He's a real ascetic.  We always called him the purist monk in his order."

X:  "Oh, no."

G:  "What is it?"

X:  "Something that Kal said."

Eli:  "About Caleb?  What did he do with him?"

X:  "I'm sorry, Eli."

Eli:  "Xena, is Caleb dead?"

X:  "I believe so.  Yes."

G:  "It's such a terrible waste."

Eli:  "No-- it's not a waste.  I won't let his death be a waste.  There's gotta be something in these scrolls that explain all this!  I'm gonna find it."

X:  "We'll help."

Eli:  "I won't know what I'm looking for until I see it.  Besides-- we've been on the run for two days.  Go get some rest-- please.  I'll yell if I find something."

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Jox:  "Oh!  Xena-- hi.  I'm really sorry.  I'll come back later."

X:  "No-no, it's all right.  Has Eli found something?"

Jox:  "No.  No.  Um-- Xena-- you know how-- I feel about Gabrielle?"

X:  "Sure, you love her."

Jox:  "Right.  Um-- and um-- I was-- kinda hoping that-- since you guys are-- such good friends and all-- that, you could maybe give me some tips."

X:  "Tips?"

Jox:  "Yeah-- you know-- recommendations on-- on how I can tell her.  I was thinking-- uh-- maybe-- I could try the-- `down on one knee' approach, or-- uh-- maybe-- flowers, and-- and, uh-- gifts-- or, I could just-- club her over the head.  Do you see my problem?"

X:  "Yeah, your expectations."

Jox:  "Huh?"

X:  "See, right now it's all about getting a response from her.  If ya love her, why don't you just tell her?  Don't attach any strings to it.  Make it unconditional."

Jox:  "Yeah, but-- but what if I-- I tell her that, and she says-- `Joxer-- what are you thinking?'"

X:  "Joxer-- no strings.  All right?"

Jox:  "No strings.  Got it."

X:  "Of course, you could just _kiss the girl."  [Chuckles]

Ares:  "Interesting offer."

X:  "I _know_ you.  You're the one who freed me from Kal."

Ares:  "Yes, I am."

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Ares' Voice:  "Relax.  Yeah, that's good.  Just let go."

Ares:  "It's amazing, the difference when you don't resist me."

X:  "Amazing."

Ares:  "Open-- free from old wounds-- old grudges-- "

X:  "Very free."

Ares:  "-- and old ideas of-- right and wrong-- good and bad-- they just don't get in the way."

X:  "Bad?"

Ares:  "Oops.  I forgot.  `Bad' doesn't ring a bell in you, does it?  Neither does `wrong'-- or `evil.'"

X:  "You know what's strange?  I know those words.  I know their meaning, but somehow, they have no connection-- here."

Ares:  "That's gotta be tough.  But trust me-- it's for a reason."

X:  "That's what Eli says.  But he doesn't know what it is.  Do you?"

Ares:  "Oh, yeah.  It's all about you and me, Xena-- not Kal, not even Zeus.  Just the two of us-- bringing peace-- and order to the world-- through force-- something you and I were destined to do-- together."

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[ACT III]

G:  "Xena?  Eli f-- .  Ares-- you-- "

X:  "Oh, you know each other?"

G:  "Your hair is shorter, but you're still the same.  Only you would take advantage of Xena when she's like this."

Ares:  "Like this?  What do you mean?  Because she can't remember things that make her mad?  Things that fill her with hate?  Well-- when did you become so hard?"

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Jox:  "I _still_ don't get it.  What's Ares-- doing here?"

Ama:  "Yeah-- first Kal, then Ares.  What is it with you and war gods, anyway?  Ares wants something.  So does Kal.  What is it?"

Eli:  "It's the same thing _we_ need to get Xena back completely-- chakram of light.  Now, according to this-- only the purist soul can touch it without being destroyed.  It's also one of the few things on Earth that can kill a god."

G's Voice:  "That's why Ares and Kal are involved."

G:  "Whoever gets the chakram can wipe out all the other gods and make himself supreme."

Jox:  "Yeah-- and we'd all be slaves."

X:  "Look, why don't we just leave it alone-- walk alone?"

Ama:  "Well, you'd never be normal."

Eli:  "Those gods would just keep trying until they got it."

X:  "All right.  Let's go for it."

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Kal:  "So-- they think they've got it all worked out.  How do _you_ know?"

Ares:  "You'd be amazed at what a little undercover work'll getcha."

Kal:  "Indulging yourself with a mortal like Xena-- is hardly work.  My guess is-- your attempts to use her failed as miserably as my own.  Cut the dramatics, Ares.  If Xena gets `hold of that chakram-- it could mean our lives.  I say we call a truce-- till we stop her."

Ares:  "OK-- no more tricks."

Kal:  "So-- they're going for the chakram.  Well, let 'em try.  We'll give them a reception they won't forget."

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X:  "I can make no sense of this.  Whoever you are-- _whatever_ you are-- that brought me back like this, I need to know why.  I don't know how I'm supposed to be, but-- the others say that I'm a warrior-- that I kill so that innocent people may live.  They want me back the way that I was.  Do you?  Is that your plan?  Send me a sign.  How will I know what's right unless you do?"

G:  "Xena-- are you praying?"

X:  "I can't help wondering if we're doing the right thing.  Restoring this darkness, my violence-- can that really be good?"

G:  "I think it's vital.  I know that sounds strange, coming from me.  I think you have to know the darkest part of yourself-- to be whole."

X:  "But this way, I harm no one."

G:  "But Xena, what about the people who harm others?  Xena, you have this balance of lightness and darkness.  Without both of those-- the very best in you is defenseless."

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Guard:  [Yells]

Ama:  "Who-o-o-o-o-oa!"

G:  "Hey, guys-- "

[Fight]

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X:  "Can't.  I can't kill."

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[ACT IV]

Ares:  [Laughs]

G:  "Run!"

Kal:  "Get 'em!"

Eli:  "Come on!"

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G:  "Is everybody OK?"

Ama:  "_She's_ not.  She's still not normal."

Guard's Voice:  "Around the back!"

G:  "Back door.  Joxer!  Come on."

Eli:  "I don't understand it.  The text is very specific about-- .  Wait a minute, the chakram-- now that it's off the altar, anybody could get their hands on it."

Ama:  "No, don't worry.  I've got it."

Eli:  "Bring it over here.  There's gotta be _something_ that I am missing."

Jox:  "Gabrielle-- um-- I, uh-- uh-- can I talk to you for a minute?"

G:  "Right now?"

Jox:  "Yes.  I can't have you-- dying, again-- and not have you know."

G:  "Know what?"

Jox:  "Oh.  Brother, I had this all worked out in my head and, now-- "

G:  "Please, will you hurry?  Please."

Jox:  "I love you.  I'm in love with you."

G [Whispers]:  "I-- "

Ares's Voice:  "Xena!  Listen up! We've got a proposition for ya!  All we want is the chakram!"

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Ares:  "You give us that-- we're willing to let you and your friends walk!"

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Ares' Voice:  "What do you say?!"

Ama:  "It's a trap."

Eli:  "If those gods of war get their hands on that chakram, it's over-- not just for us, but for people everywhere."

Ares' Voice:  "All right!  How 'bout I sweeten the deal?!"

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Ares:  "You give us the chakram-- I will _personally_ guarantee your safety back to Greece!"

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Ares' Voice:  "I will even throw in your buddies for no extra charge!  Now, I can't stay fairer than that, can I?!"

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Ares [Whispers]:  "All right.  Your call, Xena!"

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Ares' Voice:  "You can save your friends!  Or you can sacrifice them to a lost cause!"

X:  "There's got to be a way that we can destroy this thing."

Eli:  "No-- but according to this text-- if we join the two chakrams together, the power to kill the god will be diffused."

X:  "And it will be of no use to them."

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Guards:  "Heave!"

X:  "Amarice!  Give me the broken chakram!"

[Fight]

Ares:  "Yeah-- maybe later."

Kal:  [Screams]

Ares:  "Xena?  That wasn't your fault.  He left you no choice.  Give me the chakram.  Do you wanna kill me?  Come on.  Just give me the chakram.  The killing's gotta stop somewhere.  Let's make it here.  You know it's the right thing to do.  Come on.  Xena, don't do this.  Xena-- Xena!  OK."

X:  "Hands off!"

G:  "Welcome back."

X:  "It's good to be back."

Jox's Voice:  "Amarice!  Look out!"

Ares:  "I don't get you.  Why'd you do it?"

X:  "Do what?"

Ares:  "Neutralizing the chakram-- why'd you balance it?  You had the power to kill us all."

X:  "No one deserves that kind of power, Ares-- least of all, me."

Ares:  "Smart move.  Brought you back."

X:  "With a vengeance."

Ares:  "I'm gonna catch you-- around the Acropolis."

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G:  "This isn't goodbye."

Eli:  "It never will be.  Are you sure you won't stay for another day or two?  I mean, after all, Greece is a long way off."

X:  "The sooner we get started, the sooner we'll get there.  Of course, you could always change your mind and come with us."

Eli:  "I know, but-- Caleb's scrolls can teach me a lot of things I can't learn anywhere else."

X:  "Sounds awfully dull."

Eli:  "Compared to life with you, _anything_ is dull."

X [Chuckles]:  "Eli, um-- you brought us back from the dead.  And I'm-- "

Eli:  "Xena-- it wasn't me-- ooh-- at least not _all_ me.  Safe journey, Xena."

X:  "Yeah, you, too."

Jox:  "Hi.  Um-- Gabrielle-- "

G:  "Joxer-- "

Jox:  "No, no, no, no.  Look-- "

G:  "A-- about what you said-- "

Jox [Interrupts]:  "No, no, no, no-- "

G [Interrupts]:  "No, no-- "

Jox [Interrupts]:  "-- it's all right."

G [Interrupts]:  "-- about what you said-- "

Jox:  "It's OK.  It's OK.  It's just-- you don't have to say anything.  You don't _have_ to say anything.  You don't have to say a word.  It's just-- I-- I, um-- I wanted to, uh-- just let you know.  [Clears throat]  I just wanted-- to let you know.  No strings."

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G:  "It feels so good to be going home."

X:  "Going home in more ways than one.  Thanks, Gabrielle."

G:  "For what?"

X:  "For pointing the way back to my rotten old self."

G:  "It's a pleasure.  Did _I_ do that?"

X:  "I didn't think about it at the time, but when I asked for a sign to show that I was doing the right thing-- you showed up."

G:  "Hmm-- you know what they say?  Timing is everything."

X:  "Yeah.  Well-- not everything."

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