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TRANSCRIPTION OF
PUNCH LINES



"Punch Lines"  Episode 104/511

[TEASER]

G's Voiceover:  "`It was the kind of night where you could feel
time flow over you like-- the amnesiatic waters of the river
Styx.'  That is terrible.  `Amnesiatic'?  I don't think that's a
word.  This doesn't work, either.  Oh, here we go.  Here we go.
Here we go.   Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h.  Ah, no.  Mm-hm-m.  Oh, yeah.  This
is _so_ good.  Mm--m-m-m, no, it's not.  Oh!  Who am I kidding?!"

Aphrodite [Aph]:  "Boo!"

G:  "Aphrodite?"

Aph:  "Can't sleep, huh?"

G:  "You _scared_ me."

Aph [Sarcastically]:  "Sorry, I didn't know I had to knock in my
own temple."

G:  "You don't, but can you just keep it down?  I don't wanna
wake Xena."

Aph:  "Pregnant girl needs her rest, huh?  I remember when Cupid
was on his way-- "

G:  "Ah-- doesn't a god of your-- obvious stature have anything
better to do than hang out here in the middle of the night?"

Aph:  "Oweeee!  What's with the attitude?!  I let you sleep in my
temple.  I show real concern for your insomnia, and-- you treat
me like I'm a rash where the sun don't shine."

G:  "I didn't mean to be rude.  Uh, I-I don't wanna bother you
with my troubles."

Aph:  "Tsk, Sweet-pea-- I am immortal, you know?  I got nothin'
but time."

G:  "Ow!"

Aph:  "The doctor is in."

G:  "See these?  These are my scrolls.  I wrote them.  I wrote
all of them.  It's like a-- it's like a diary of my travels with
Xena.  [Sighs]  When I wrote them I just-- I felt so complete.  I
don't know why I stopped."

Aph:  "Hm-m-m-m-m."

G:  "Ugh!  [Sighs]  Something keeps telling me that I have to
start writing again."

Aph:  "Well, why don't you?"

G:  "It's not that easy!  I-I-I-I don't have time for it, for one
thing."

Aph:  "Tell me, um, how you would write about today."

G:  "You mean, if I could."

Aph:  "Well?"

G:  "Well-- today-- started like any other day.  Xena and Joxer
and I-- were trying to find a name for Xena's baby."

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G's Voice:  "I came up with the best one."

G:  "How 'bout the name, `Rochelle.'"

X:  "And have her called `Roach' for short?  I don't like that."

Joxer [Jox]:  "How do you guys know it's gonna be a girl?  Maybe,
it'll be a boy."

G:  "All right.  How 'bout `Aloysius?'

X:  "That's not funny."

G:  "It was a thought.  I'm glad we're almost to Pilos.  I know
someone who's getting a little hungry."

J:  "Oh-- pregnant woman's hungry.  There's news.  Oh!"

G:  "And cranky."

X:  "Cranky?  I haven't been cranky for years.  Joxer, have you
ever seen me cranky?"

G:  "Tell the truth, Joxer."

[[[[[[X:  "Now, you listen to me, monkey-man.  You _ever_ do that
again, and you'll find _my_ fist down your throat!"  Jox:  "I
always wanted to be an uncle.  Hello, there, little fella!  Oh!"
Jox:  "You think you can cut me down without dropping me flat on
my face?  X:  "No."  Jox:  "Ah-h-h-h-h-h!"  Jox:  "Rise and
shine, everyone!"]]]]]]

X:  "So, have ya?"

Jox:  "No?"

X:  "Hm-m."

G:  "Cop out.  All right, Xena, it's not your fault-- with your
condition and all."

X:  "You're patronizing me.  Gabrielle, I am in full control of
my mood swings."

G:  "You wanna bet?"

X:  "Anything you name."

G:  "How 'bout a month of cooking and cleaning-- that you can't
go a whole day without losing your temper."

X:  "You throw in back rubs and you got a deal."

G:  "It's a deal.  Ow!"

X:  "Doesn't count."

G:  "Well-- that's OK.  In the spirit of friendship, I will take
the horses to the river.  You can have lunch in town."

Jox:  "I'll help ya."

G:  "Joxer, no, you have to stay with Xena, not that I don't
trust you."

X:  "All right, Gabrielle.  You take good care of my baby.  Make
sure you rinse her down with cold water-- and hitch her to
something.  She'll probably come looking for me-- not that I
don't trust you.  I just don't want anything to happen that might
make me-- mad."

G:  "It doesn't take a genius to wash a horse."

X:  "Well, it'll come in handy for all those backrubs you're
gonna give me.  [Chuckles]  Come on, dummy."
  
Jox:  [Sighs]

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G:  "Did you hear that?  Xena telling me how to bathe you.  What
do I add, water?  She must think I'm like Joxer or something.
Xena doesn't do any cleaning.  Have you smelled her feet, lately?
Good girl.  What happened to you?" 

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[ACT I]

Aph:  "So, you shrunk her horse!  Big deal!  Everybody shrinks as
they get older.  That's why old people are so short."

G:  "Now, that's very constructive.  What are you writing?"

Aph:  "`Patient is hostile and insecure-- possibly masking some
latent tendencies.'"

G:  "This is stupid."

Aph:  "No, I'm sorry.  Look-- no more scroll, all right?"

G:  "`Latent tendencies?'  Where did you learn to talk like
that?"

Aph:  "Honey, don't let the blonde hair fool you.  Although
bombastic forms of circumlocution should be generally avoided--
one mustn't shy away from big words in the right context."

G:  "What?"

Aph:  "Nothing.  Please-- continue."

G:  "Where did I leave off?"

Aph:  "Shrunken horse?"

G:  "Right.  Hm-m-m-m-m."

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G:  "What happened to you?"

Lachrymose [Lac]:  "Divine retribution.  That's-- what happened."

G:  "Who _are_ you?"

Lac:  "Lachrymose-- god of despair.  Can't you read?  Hm-m?
Hm-m?  `Property of Lachrymose.'  You used my spring-- to wash
your horse.  Next-- you'll be stabling him in my temple."

G:  "I-- I'm so sorry.  Y-you gotta admit, uh [Chuckles]-- that
dedication is hard to spot.  OK, it was an honest mistake.  Can't
you change her back?  Please?  This isn't my horse.  It's Xena's.
You've heard of her, right?  She's killed _thousands_ of men, and
with the mood she's in right now, she will not think this is
funny."

Lac:  "So?  I've never laughed-- in my whole life."

G:  "You're kidding."

Lac:  "I wish I was.  I've never done that, either."

G:  "I can make you laugh.  I bet I could."

Lac:  "I hate-- puns-- or jokes-- or riddles."

G:  "I tell stories-- true stories.  Let's say-- if I can make
you laugh-- you make Argo large again.  Deal?"

Lac:  "Well, you can try-- but I doubt it'll work."

G:  "All right-- just don't underestimate me.  Xena does that.
In fact-- you're gonna love this.  There was this time where she,
uh-- she was trying to warn me against-- catching this rabbit,
and-- "

[[[[[[G:  "You're such a cute little rabbit.]]]]]]

G:  "It's funny now, but at the time, I was just a big carrot
stick!"  [Laughs]

Lac:  "And that's-- it?"

G:  "No, no I'm-- I'm just warming up.  Yep."

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Jox:  "Kid's got staying power."

X:  "Yeah."

Jox:  "Some set of pipes, huh?"

X:  "What?"

Jox:  "I said, `Some set 'a lungs.'"

X:  "I can't hear you."

Jox:  "Some set 'a lungs!"

X:  "Oh, yeah-- swell.  Kootchie-kootchie-koo."

Woman:  "Oh-h-h-h-h-h-- did that mean old warrior princess scare
you?  Yes, yes."

Jox:  "Nice move."

Man's Voice:  "How are you?"

X:  "Are you kidding me?  I scared it mute.  What kind of a
mother am I gonna make?"

Jox:  "Oh, come on, Xena.  You're terrific with kids."

X:  "Oh, Gabrielle never told you about King Gregor's child,
huh?"

X's Voice:  "Look, I may not be nanny material-- but _you_ try
baby-sitting through a sword fight."

X:  "So?"

Jox:  "Well, so you're-- method's a little unorthodox.  It
doesn't mean it's not full of love and concern, you know?"

X:  "You think?"

Jox:  "Sure."

X:  "Well, maybe you're right, huh?  After all, how much do kid's
cry anyway?"

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G [Chuckles]:  "That little rascal-- stole all of Cupid's arrows
and went on a shooting spree."

G's Voice:  "I'm talking about baby Bliss.  You know-- Cupid and
Psyche's son?  If you get hit with one of those arrows-- you fall
in love with the first person you see."

[[[[[[2nd Boy:  "These are for you."  Cowman:  "Let go of my
cow!"  Cowlover:  "Bessie.  Bessie!"  Woman:  "Ooh!  Oh!"  Man:
"Huh?"  Woman:  [Sighs]]]]]]]

G's Voice:  "I thought it was cute-- until I became the
bull's-eye."  

[[[[[[G:  "Xena?"  X:  "Gabrielle?"  G:  "Xena?"  J:  "Blecch!
Tastes like sweat!  [Spits]  Does yours?"]]]]]]

Lac:  "Well, I guess ya-- had to be there, huh?"

G:  "All right.  Let's find out what kind of humor you _do_ like.
Slap-stick?"

[[[[[[G:  "Have faith."

G:  "What about-- action?!  Yeah?  Everybody loves a good chase
sequence."

G's Voice:  "Like the time we went to India.  I don't get that
place."

[[[[[[G:  "No!  Stop!  Somebody's trying to kill me?!
No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!"]]]]]]

G's Voice:  "Maybe that's India's way of rolling out the red
carpet."

G:  "Moving right along.  How about-- a little romantic comedy?
Hey?"

[[[[[[G:  "Look!  Cherries!  Mm-m!  I love cherries."  Draco:
"Me, too."  G:  "Did I mention I'm a widow?"  Jox:  "There's no
reason why we can't be adults about this and have a little fun."
X:  "Are you suicidal?"  Jox:  "Oh-- don't worry, Xena.  I got
_just_ whatcha need-- and _plenty_ of it, too."  J/Attus:  "Hmm.
Gaea-- like Attus?"  G:  "Attus is quite a surprise!"  J/Attus:
"Hmm."  G:  "Here!  Put something on."]]]]]]

Aph:  "Are you kidding?  Honey-- god or no god, Lachrymose is
still a man.  You should've tried a little sex appeal.  That's
the only way to really entertain the weaker sex."

G [Sighs]:  "I tried that."

[[[[[[Autolycus [Auto] [Coughs]:  "Well, nothing-- quite like a
woman's touch."  X:  "Didn't your mother ever teach you it's rude
to stare?"  Auto:  "Hey, I paid for an hour."  [Coughs]]]]]]]

G:  "What _is_ this?"

Aph:  "You know-- slumber-party mode.  It's the only way to
_really_ talk about sex."

G:  "I feel ridiculous."

Aph:  "Want me to pierce your ear?"

G:  "No!"

Aph:  "So, let me ask you this-- isn't all this story-telling an
_awful_ lot like writing?"

G:  "It's similar-- but with writing-- it's like talking to
yourself.  I-it's a way that you can work things out.  Of
course-- I know now, exactly who I am."

Aph:  "So then, who cares?  Why write?"

G:  "Haven't you ever had an artistic impulse-- that's like a bad
itch, and you just have to keep working on it until you get it
out?!"

Aph:  "Of course!  Who do you think accessorizes all these
outfits?!  Someone's gotta put those shoes with that jacket, and
so on."

G:  "I'm glad you understand."

Aph:  "That's what I'm here for.  So-- what did Xena do when she
found out about the horse?"

G:  "Xena and I are best friends.  There aren't any secrets
between us."

Aph:  "Hm-m-m-- you stalled, huh?"

G:  "Exactly."

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X:  "What-- is taking her so long?"

Jox:  "I don't know."

X:  "Joxer, just pay the bill."

Jox:  "I can't.  Gabrielle took my money.  Let's get her."

X:  "Yeah."

Taygar [Tay]'s Brother [Bro]:  "Hey, watch it, woman.  Hey--
aren't you Xena, Warri-Warrior Princess-- who jailed the bloody
warlord, Taylor-Taygar?"

X:  "What of it?"

Tay's Bro:  "Taygar's my brother.  Prepare to die!  Oh-h-h-h!
Yay-y-y-y-y-y!"

G:  "What's with him?"

X:  "Family problems."

Jox:  "I blame the parents."

G:  "How was your meal?"

X:  "A little too much salt."

G:  "Uh-h-h, unfortunately, there's been a slight delay, Xena.
You-- you're never gonna guess why."

Jox:  "Let me.  First, you got your nails done.  Then you went to
your ballet lesson."

G:  "No-- but you get the supplies and meet me at the spring.
I'll be there, ready to go."

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Lac [Sighs]:  "Guess she must 'a just pulled free and-- wandered
away."

G:  "She's gone?  Argo's gone."

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[ACT II]

Aph:  "So, you shrunk her horse and then you lost him.  So,
what?"

G:  "So, what?  Do you know how important Argo is to Xena?"

G's Voice:  "Sometimes, I think she likes that horse more than
she likes me."

G:  "I can't count the number of times that Argo has saved Xena.
What are you doing?"

Aph:  "I don't like animals.  They're-- dirty and smelly, and--
just thinking about them makes me want to take a bath.  Do you
want your own tub?!"

G:  "No-- I'm fine, thank you.  What is that smell?  It smells
like-- chocolate."

Aph:  "Essence of white chocolate, to be exact.  Haven't you
heard that chocolate's an aphrodisiac?  It's one of my little
secrets."

G:  "Ah-- anyway-- I looked for that little horse everywhere."

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X:  "OK, we got peanuts.  We got pickled eggs-- castor oil.  All
we need now is a sack of flour."

Jox:  "Did you get prunes?"

X's Voice:  "Yeah, what's life without prunes?"

G:  "Argo.  Argo-- where are you?"

X:  "Bag of wheat, bag of wheat.  Ooh, lookie there-- the last
one on the shelf."

Tay's Bro:  "So-- you thought you got rid of me, huh?  Well--
better luck next time."

X:  "Luck has nothing to do with it."

Tay's Bro:  [Yells]

Jox's Voice:  "Nice save!"

X:  "And, it's on special, huh?"

Man's Voice:  "Clean up on aisle seven."

Jox:  "Hm-m."

Man's Voice:  "Clean up on aisle seven."

Jox:  "Not so tough, now, are you, Mr. Tough Guy?"

X:  "Nah, he's just an oaf.  Here."

Tay's Bro:  "Oaf!"

X:  "See?  What I'm more concerned about is that, any kid of mine
is going to encounter some pretty strange and dangerous things.
Giants."

[[[[[[X:  "You know, you should find a different line of work."
Cyclops:  "Like what?!  I'm a blind Cyclops, for cryin' out
loud!"

Jox:  "Giants?"

Woman's Voice:  "Are these fresh?"

Jox [Snickers]:  "Giants?  Hades, that's the least 'ayour
problems.  Let's see, there's um-- dryads-- "

[[[[[[G:  "What is it?!"]]]]]]

Jox:  "Harpies-- "

Man's Voice:  "Find any?"

Woman's Voice:  "Yeah."

Jox:  "Bacchae-- "  [Chuckles]

Jox:  "Oh, sure-- that kid 'a yours is gonna encounter a host of
problems.  Let's see, uh, pestilence, disease-- foot rot--
misery-- but you know what, Xena?  That kid's got something it
couldn't get anywhere else."

X:  "What?"

Jox:  "You."

X:  "Oh-h-h!"

Jox:  "Ow.  Ow.  Ow."

X:  "Oh, thank you.  Thank you."

G:  "Argo.  Argo.  Ar-- excuse me.  Argo.  Argo!  Argo?!  Argo!
Come here.  What are you doing?  Hey-- you trying to get me into
trouble?  Lachrymose, I'm so happy to see you.  You have _got_ to
change Argo back.  You don't realize how important she is to
Xena."

Lac:  "Oh-- touching."

A Man's Voice:  "There's something wrong with this cart.  It
keeps turning to the left."

Lac:  "But we had a deal-- remember?"

G:  "Will you give me a break?!  Unless you can't do it.  I mean,
maybe you're not god enough to do it.  I mean-- who's gonna ride
her, the way she is now?  No one is that small."

Lac:  "Oh, yeah?"

G:  [Yells]

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[ACT III]

G:  "No!  Argo!  No!  Stop!  Argo!  Whoa!  Hey-hey, boy!  Come
on, are you trying to kill me?!  Calm down!  See?!  Argo!  Ooh,
I'm gonna die!  Argo, calm down!  Calm _down_, girl!  Come on,
it's me!  It's Gabrielle!  Calm down!  Yes!  All right!  Girl,
calm down!  Yeah!  That's it.  I gotta think."

X:  "See, you don't need to tell Gabrielle, 'cause I don't mean
to be cranky.  I just can't seem to help it."

Jox:  "Hey-- you're pregnant.  That's the way pregnant women
are."

X:  "That's right."

Jox:  "Sure."

X:  "Though I should try to remain calm, 'cause that's what's
best for the baby."

Jox:  "Oh, sure.  Tet-tet-tet-tet!  I'l-l-l-l-l-l get it."

X:  "I've learned how-- how my actions can have consequences for
this child, and-- I just wanna do my best."

Jox:  "Xena-- take it from me-- if anybody can love and protect
that kid-- it's you.  Come here.  Ah-h-h-h."

X:  "All right, that's enough.  Let go of me."

Jox:  "Ga-- "

G:  "Sh-h-h-h-h!"

X:  "Eggs.  Eggs!"

Jox:  "Argo."

X's Voice:  "What?"

Jox:  "I'll-- go.  I'll go get the eggs."

Cashier's Voice:  "Excuse me-- first you buy it-- then you eat
it.  Well, that's pretty."

G:  "Joxer!"

Jox:  "Gabrielle-- wh-- what happened?!"

G:  "I'll explain later.  I need your help."

Jox:  "OK.  Wait a minute.  This is our golden opportunity.
You-- are gonna be-- my new partner-- Joxer-- and little pal.
Look-- your new sword."

G:  "Oh, gods!  Joxer!"

Jox:  "Sorry.  Sorry.  I got a better idea!  You can be a circus
act!  Joxer-- and his amazing sideshow freak.  Ow-w-w!  Ow!  Ow!
Ow!  Ow."

G:  "Joxer, I need your help to find the god who did this, to
change us back."

Jox:  "OK.  What am I gonna tell Xena?"

G:  "I don't know.  Make something up.  Tell her anything."

Jox:  "OK.  Fine.  Now, what am I gonna say to a god?"

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Jox:  "Oh-h-h-h-h, Lachromose!  God of despair.  Hear my plea,
and appear!"

G:  "Just try and stay still, Argo-- please."

Jox:  "Life is so awful!"

Lac:  "Really?  How awful?"

Jox:  "Uh-- you're [Chuckles]-- you're the-- the first god I've
ever-- summoned-- you know, 'cause [Laughs]-- "

G:  "Joxer!"

Jox:  "Uh-- well-- it all started when I was a child."

Jox's Voice:  "I was a happy kid-- at first.  But then-- Mom and
Dad started fighting.  He'd get tanked and take the chariot-- no
matter who tried to stop him.  One day-- he lost control of it.
Mom took it hard-- and then she took a coupl'a arrows from Dad's
creditors and died.  [Sobs]  It's just not fair!"

Lac:  "No, it's not, but tell me more.  Tell me more.  It must
get worse."

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Aph:  "You actually thought Joxer was gonna help?"

G:  "Joxer has pulled through for us several times."

Aph:  "Really?"

G:  "Mm-hm-m."

Aph:  "Like when?"

G:  "Joxer-- he, uh-- "

[[[[[[Jox:  "Oh, boy.  Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!  Hah-hah-h-h-h!"]]]]]]

G:  "OK, forget that.  No, but, Joxer, sometimes, he-- "

[[[[[[J/Attus [Yells]:  "Attus glad that over."]]]]]]

G:  "Well, no, no, no, no, no-- no, no.  No, Joxer-- he-he can
be-- "

[[[[[[Jox:  "Huh?  Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h!  Oh!  Oh!  Oh!  Oh!  Oh!
Oh!"]]]]]]

G:  "Oh, no.  OK Once-- there was this time that he-- "

[[[[[[Jox:  "Oh!  Oh!  Oh!  Oh-- Meg-- gee, ya got big feet for a
girl.  I always thought that g-g-- hi, fellas."]]]]]]

G:  "OK.  Now, there was a time-- that Joxer-- "

[[[[[[Jox:  "I'm Joxer, by the way."  G:  "Gabrielle."  Jox:
"Hah!  Gotcha now!"

G:  "OK-- you win.  But Joxer is a loyal friend, and he's a great
travelling companion."

Aph:  "Don't get me wrong.  I love the poor dope."  [Laughs]

G:  "You know, he convinced Lachrymose to return me to my normal
size."

Aph:  "Really?  Joxer's pathetic life was right up his alley,
huh?"

G:  "Yeah-- not even Lachrymose was laughing."

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Jox:  [Cries]

Lac:  "Oh-- oh, dear-- oh, that's terrible.  Please tell me it
gets worse.  Some wounds never heal."

G:  "Sh-h-h-h."

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X:  "Watch my stuff, wouldja?  I'm gonna go get my friend from
the tavern.  I don't feel so good."  [Breaks wind]

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[ACT IV]

X:  "All right.  Anyone seen a guy in a little pointy hat?"

Bob:  "Is that-- supposed to be-- funny?"

X:  "No, I just got lucky.  Hm-m.  Tough crowd.  Well-- no
Gabrielle, no Joxer.  At least there's _someone_ who won't desert
me."  [Whistles]

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G:  "Argo-- come back!"

Lac:  "You again?!"

Jox:  "Oh!"

Lac:  "Just wait-- till I catch you."

G:  "No, no."

Jox:  "Huh-- must be Lachrymose-intolerant.  You know, you could
find her easier if you made her big again."

Lac:  "Now, you are not as dumb-- as you look."

Jox:  "Well."

Lac:  "Farewell.  Yah-h-h-h-h!"

G:  "Joxer!  Let's get outta here!"

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X:  "Lighten up.  Ah, now, _that_ is devotion.  Here, girl!"

Men's Voices:  "Look, a stray dog!"  "They took a dog and put a
horse head on it!"  "Wow, what do you have to do?  Add water?"

X:  "Gabrie-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-elle!  Gabrielle-- what
is that?"

G:  "I can explain."

Jox:  "Look at that!  Cold water!  She said `cold water!'"

G:  "Xena, now don't get mad.  It's not good for the baby.  OK,
I, uh-- Xena-- all we have to do is make Lachrymose laugh.  Then
we can have Argo back to the way she was."

Tay's Bro:  "Say your prayers, Xena."

X:  "Allelujah.  All right."

Jox:  "Hm-m-m-m?"

X:  "OK, now, I'm not mad-- I'm just very, very disappointed."

[Pie Fight]

Jox:  "Oh-h-h-h!  [Laughs]  Oop."

X:  "And as for you-- " 

Jox:  "No, no-- think about  it.  Think about it!  Oh!"

X:  "Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!"

Man's Voice:  "Hey!  She hit Bob!"

X:  "It was her."

Men's Voices:  "It was the blonde."  "Yeah."

G:  "What?"

Man's Voice:  "I'll take a pie, please!"

G:  [Laughs]

Men's Voices:  "Boysenberry?"  "Yeah!"  "Hey!  Don't touch my
pie!"

Jox:  "Heh-heh!  You forgot to duck!  Heh-heh!"

G:  "So did you."  [Chuckles]

Bob:  "Get 'em!"
 
X:  "Joxer-- never pie a pregnant woman."

G's Voice:  "Heads up!"

Cowboy:  "Yah-h-h-h-h-h-h!"

Jox:  "Ooh-- which one of ya threw that pie?"

X:  "Heads up, Lachrymose."

Lac:  [Laughs]

All:  [Laugh]

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Aph:  "A stupid, boring, unfunny excuse for a pie fight finally
made him laugh?"

G:  "Go figure."

Aph:  "Huh?  You must 'a been aiming too high the rest of the
time."

G:  "I guess so."

Aph:  "You OK?"

G:  "This isn't working."

Aph:  "What's not working?"

G:  "I thought telling you the Lachrymose story would, somehow
end my writer's block."

Aph:  "Oh, well.  At least you got him in touch with his inner
child."

G:  "That's it."

Aph:  "What?"

G:  "That's the answser."

Aph:  "What are you talking about?"

G:  "Ever since Xena became pregnant, I have been-- trying to
find-- a way to make the world a better place-- and I've allowed
no time for the things that make me happy-- like my writing.  I
think I've been too afraid-- that I've lost that part of me
that's a bard.   Anyway-- maybe my writing will help Xena's baby
figure out who he or she really is."

Aph:  "Well, it looks like my work here is done."

G:  "Wait.  No."

Aph:  "What?  You got a lot of catching up to do."

G:  "Thank you."

Aph:  "Don't thank me yet.  Wait till ya get my bill."

G's Voice:  "And the day ended as it began-- alongside my
friends."

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X:  "You know, I gotta tell ya, I am feeling a whole lot better.
I mean, life's pretty sweet for me right now.  I've got no
cooking-- no cleaning-- and backrubs for a month."

G:  "Technically, you didn't lose your temper-- but Xena, I saw
you throwing pies in a less-than-loving manner."

Jox:  "Much less."

X:  "Oh?"

Jox:  "Oh, l-l-loving."

X:  "Yep, loving-- that's me."

G:  [Laughs]

Jox:  [Laughs]

X:  "Who threw that pie?"

Lac:  [Laughs]

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