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"Looking Death in the Eye"  Episode 109/519


Innkeeper [Inn]:  "The usual?"

Old Joxer [O Jox]:  "Mm-hmm."

Ramius [Ram]:  "And-- sold!  For 30 dinars!"

Drunk Man [D Man]:  "Hey, Ramius-- what's the next item up for
bid?  You can't be serious."

Ram:  "Ah-h-h, but this isn't just any scroll."

D Man:  [Sighs]

Ram:  "No, my friends-- I have in my hand-- the last known scroll
transcribed by the bard of Poteidaiar [sic] herself!  It
describes-- in breathtaking detail-- the final adventure of
Xena-- the legendary warrior princess, who _dared_ to defy the

O Jox [Whispers]:  "Let's see [Normal Voice]-- this is
Gabrielle's handwriting.  This is real!"

Ram:  "Ah, sure, it is!"

O Jox:  "`Bard-- of Poteidaia.'  You know, I-- I knew her.  You
know, she was a friend of mine."

D Man:  [Chuckles]

O Jox:  "Xena was-- my friend, too."

D Man:  "Xena was my housemaid."


Ram:  "Well, friend-- we'd best cut you off.  What say I start
the bidding at-- "

D Man:  "10 dinars!"

Man:  "20 dinars!"

D Man:  "25!"

O Jox:  "Cover your tab!"

D Man:  "You should talk, Joxer, ya deadbeat!  30!"

Man:  "35 dinars!"

O Jox:  "65 dinars!  Sold!"

Ram:  "65 dinars?!"


O Meg's Voice:  "Wait a minute!  You spent _my_ nest egg-- on one
lousy piece of parchment?"

O Jox's Voice:  "Please, Meg, it's Gabrielle's last scroll.
Maybe it explains what she and Xena were doing."

O Meg's Voice:  "What do _you_ care?!  Xena and Gabrielle are
gone!  When are you gonna accept that?"


O Jox:  "O-K, that was a little too fast."

Boy:  "Is that a story about the harpies, Daddy?"

Girl:  "What is it?  What is it?"

O Jox [Interrupts]:  "No, it's, uh-- it's, um-- well-- it's a
story-- about a beautiful-- warrior princess.  Wanna hear a story
about a beautiful warrior princess?  OK.  OK.  [Clears throat.
Sighs]  `Her, uh-- her celebrations-- at Thebes-- in Egypt-- were
cut short-- because Xena-- the mighty-- warrior princess--
fought-- both night and day, for the life of her newborn child--
as she continued to sing the rage-- of her Olympian foes.'"


O Jox's Voice:  "`Their ceaseless battles finally drove her to
the fates-- in search-- of answers.'"

X:  "I hope you don't mind.  We were in the neighborhood."

Lachesis [Lach]:  "The fates always welcome you here, Xena.
We're pleasantly-- surprised."

X:  "Finding your kid topping the list of Olympus' most wanted
makes you do some pretty surprising things.  This is one of

Clotho [Clo]:  "You wish us to speak for your child.  Your child,
Xena-- "

Atropos [Atr]:  "-- will bring forth the twilight-- and usher in
a new beginning."

X:  "Yes, I heard.  I was hoping you could humor me with a date."

Clo:  "The twilight will occur in time."

X:  "That's not very specific."

Lach:  "The time depends on you, Xena."

X:  "What do you mean?  It's me that determines when the twilight
begins?  How?"

Atr:  "You must die, Xena."

Clo:  "Only in the essence of death-- will the child find
salvation-- and the twilight be set in motion.  Until then, a
storm without end lies upon your path, and hers."

G:  "You're saying that, the sooner Xena dies, the faster Eve
brings about the fall of the gods?  [Whispers]  No [Normal
Voice]-- Xena, let's go.  Hey-- what are you doing?  You're not
listening to them?  Xena, you have said we _always_ determine our
own fate.  It's not written for us.  You've always believed

X:  "I still believe that, Gabrielle.  So do they.  It's the only
way.  I have to die, Gabrielle."



X:  "Sh-h-h-h-h-h-h.  Quiet, now."

Hades:  "Uh!  Uh!"

X's Voice:  "The helmet of invisibility."

G:  "Hades."

X:  "You're not really a hat kind 'a guy.  Well, Athena, you can
call off your search.  We found Hades for you."

Athena [Ath]:  "Thank you, Xena-- but I think you know who we're
really here for.  I have to give you credit, Xena.  You three are
hard ones to catch up to-- for mortals."

X:  "That's the beauty of being insignificant."

Ath:  "Hand her over.  I promise you, she won't feel a thing."

Hades:  "There's no escape this time, Xena."

X:  "We'll see about that."


G:  "Xena!  Toss Eve here!"

X:  "No, Gabrielle!"

Ath:  "What's wrong, Xena?  No longer trust even Gabrielle to
protect your child?"

G:  "Any ideas?"

X:  "Yeah-- let's give them their hat back.  Go, Gabrielle.
Let's go."


Soldier's Voice:  "Camp ready in five minutes, sir!"

O Jox's Voice:  "`After narrowly escaping with our lives, we took
shelter for the night in the company of Octavius-- the new leader
of the Roman army-- and a new ally-- unknown to the gods."

Octavius [Oct]:  "Can I get you two anything else?"

X:  "No, Octavius-- thank you."

Oct:  "You never have to thank me, Xena.  I owe my life to you
and Gabrielle."

X:  "All right.  Come here."

G:  "Ow!  Ow.  What _is_ that?"

X:  "It's poison-- only if you drink it.  A little dab'll stop
the spread of infection."

G:  "Where did you get that?"

X:  "Mom's medicine cabinet.  Hs-s-s-s-s-s-s!  Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h."

G:  "Xena, what Athena said about, um-- your not trusting me with
Eve-- "

X:  "Hey-- it's not a matter of trust where Athena's concerned.
Giving Eve to you would have bought her a few more seconds, but
we both know they would have killed her if they could have--
regardless of whose arms she was in.  We got lucky.  She's just a


Ath:  "Xena never dies.  And why is that?"

Hephaestus [Heph]:  "Just get her in my chains, Athena-- then
we'll see how long she lives."

Ath:  "Thank you, Hephaeustus.  Your-- youthful exuberance is
greatly appreciated."

Ares:  "If you ask me, Sis-- and-- you haven't-- I can think of
no better expert to pose your query to than-- death-- herself."

Ath:  "Celesta-- we're doing everything we can to ensure our
survival-- but we can't finish the job until you pay a visit to
Xena and her child."

Celesta [Cel]:  "I'm sorry, Athena-- Ares-- and my beloved
brother, Hades-- but you know it's not in death's nature to

Ath:  "Even when your own life is on the line?"

Cel:  "As long as my flame continues to burn-- death will remain
a part of life for eternity, Athena."

Ath:  "Meaning you might somehow be immune to the prophecy.
[Chuckles]  If I didn't know better, I'd say Death's getting a
little cocky."

Cel:  "Prophecy or not-- it is forbidden for any mortal to be
taken before their rightful time."

Ath:  "Celesta!"

Ares:  [Chuckles]

Ath:  "We know you can't help but-- _care_-- for the mortals you
interact with so personally-- but just remember-- you can't deny
them their rightful time, either."


X:  "So, if you're the god of arts and crafts-- what do you do
for a hobby?"

Heph:  "Help my family kill your child by first killing you,

X:  "No, that's a perversion-- not a hobby."

Heph:  "Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!"


Heph:  "How does it feel, Xena?  How does it feel to finally be
in the presence of death herself?"

X:  "What took you so long?"



G:  "Xena!  His chains!"


X:  "I'm sorry, Celesta.  I'm gonna have to ask you to stay.
Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!  The chains of Hephaestus hold even the


G:  "That was close."

Cel:  "Xena-- what are you doing?"

X:  "Check her hands."

G:  "It worked.  She can't touch us."

X:  "Good."

Cel:  "Your confrontation with Hephaestus-- that's exactly what
you wanted-- how you lured me to you."

X:  "Believe me, lady, if there was a better way for us to hook
up, I'd have done it."

Cel:  "Xena, how could you?"

X:  "Gabrielle, get her outta here."


G:  "Celesta's secured."

X:  "Good.  Hey, sweetheart.  Octavius, thanks for babysitting."

Oct:  "Anytime."

X:  "You're a good friend.  We'll be seeing ya.  Come on."


Ath:  "First-- there was Eli.  The masses adored him and the
message he conveyed.  You-- killed him."

Ares:  "Again with the Eli.  He had to die, Sis.  How many times
do I have-- ?"

Ath:  "His death sparked the uprising against us that Xena--
capitalized on at Amphipolis-- where _you_-- chose to fight at
her side, I might add.  What's left to come?"

Heph:  "Athena-- Xena took Celesta."

Ares:  "Well-- I guess you got your answer."


G [Sings]:  "Hush now, my little one
Please don't you cry.
[Speaks]  One day, you'll have your own horse."

Cel:  "Xena, you should know that my brother-- and Athena, and
all Olympus will stop at nothing to find me."

X:  "Then they'd better hurry up-- 'cause if I'm not mistaken,
Celesta-- when this candle burns out-- you die.  Imagine that--
the death of Death herself-- and me and my kid will live

Cel:  "Xena, this isn't like you-- or you, Gabrielle.  At one
time, you both fought to free me."

X:  "You're right.  Somehow, motherhood has made me harder."

Cel:  "Even giving birth to a child isn't enough to sway someone
so grounded in their beliefs."

X:  "And how's that?"

Cel:  "By holding me here-- you're condemning to eternal
suffering those who would otherwise find their peace."

X:  "Lady, since we last met, I've decided you cause a lot more
suffering than you end."

Cel:  "Death is nothing to fear, Xena-- for I only visit those
whose rightful time i-- "

X:  "Rightful time?!  Who decides when it's the rightful time?
You are at the beck and call of every warlord and murderer.
Solon-- my only son-- his rightful time came when someone else
decided it should-- and you came running-- no questions asked.
You didn't end the suffering of my little boy, Celesta.  You
stole his life-- and Marcus-- and Lyceus."

Cel:  "Your brother."

G:  "Xena-- "

X [Interrupts]:  "Lyceus-- Lyceus-- he wasn't just a brother, he
was my best friend.  You know, growing up, he was everything to
me.  He accepted me for who and what I was.  And if you hadn't
taken him, he would have grown up to be something-- "

G [Interrupts]:  "Xena, don't do this."

X [Whispers]:  "What?"

G:  "She's immortal.  She'll never understand the pain of losing

X:  "Yes, she will.  Yes, she will-- 'cause you have a brother,

Cel:  "Yes-- Hades-- he's my only family-- the first to accept
_me_ for who and what I am.  I may not agree with his recent
actions, Xena, but-- I believe he thinks he's doing what is
right.  He's always been true to his convictions, and-- sometimes
that makes him a little-- stubborn-- but I believe it is his
noblest quality.  To lose him-- is-- unthinkable."

X:  "And what if he lost you?  What would he say about that?"

Cel:  "I may never know."

X:  "Death _can_ end suffering, Celesta.  Suffering just begins
for those left behind.  I won't allow it any longer.  I can't
lose what's left of my family-- and I won't lose another child."

G:  "You know, she's right about one thing, Xena-- the gods will
stop at nothing.  Holding Celesta prevents them from killing
anyone, but they'll inflict pain-- suffering-- "

X:  "-- starting with the one most vulnerable."


Woman's Voice:  "Bartender!  Another one!"

Jox:  "Hey!  Gably!  Hi!  Hey, listen, they have the best ale in
this place.  I mean, it's like, bubbly, and-- "

G:  "No, we've got to-- "

Jox:  "-- all kind of-- "

Ath's Warrior [War]:  "Joxer, I presume."

Jox:  "Yeah-- yeah, that's, uh, spelled with an `x' [Clears
throat]-- the `x' is for, uh-- `extra super sexy."

G:  "Joxer-- these people-- ."

Jox [Interrupts]:  "Not now."  [Clears throat]

Ath's War:  "Athena thanks you for being Xena and Gabrielle's
most high-profile acquaintance."

Jox:  "Oh, well, uh-- I'm very high-profile all around town--
`Mr. Get-around town,' they call me, actually-- in certain
circles.  Come on, girls."

G:  "Let him go."




Ath:  "So-- looks Xena couldn't leave death in your hands,

G:  "Look-- the baby can't do anything-- Ah-ah-h!  Ow-w-w."

Hades:  "Where-- is my sister?"

Ath:  "Hades-- Gabrielle is no use to us dead.  You can't kill
the child until Celesta's free-- and given our time constraint--
diplomacy is the best way of accomplishing that.  But then
again-- where is she?"

Jox:  "Don't tell her anything, Gabrielle-- anything Goldy-pants
here can dish out, I can take.  OK, tell her.  Tell her."

G:  "She's headed to the ocean."

Jox:  "Mm-hmm."

Ath:  "Details to follow, I'm sure."

G:  "Joxer!"

Jox:  "Gaby?"


X:  "Athena-- we were just going on a joy ride to celebrate being
immortal.  Oh, Celesta-- well-- it's too late for her, I'm

Ath:  "I hope that's not true, Xena-- for Gabrielle's sake."

X:  "What have you done with her?"

G:  "Xena-- I'm sorry, I had no choice."

Ath:  "It's very simple, Xena-- Gabrielle-- for Celesta."

G:  "Let the candle burn, Xena."

Ath:  "Do that, Xena-- and your little girl will still be
hunted-- for eternity.  She may never know death, but I promise
you-- she will never know peace."

X:  "All right."

G:  "No, Xena."

X:  "Gabrielle, come on.  It's all right."

G [Whispers]:  "All right."

Ath:  "I'll be needing you, Celesta."

Cel:  "My presence is required elsewhere, Athena."

Ares:  "Come on-- give us a head start.  I don't think that's too
much to ask, do you, Sis?"

Ath:  "I think it is.  You know what to do.  Let them clear the
forest, first-- then drive them to us."


Jox:  "The ocean-- Xena's headed towards the ocean."


X:  "Yah!  What?!"

Ares:  "It's time to 'fess up, Xena.  They're relentless.
They're gonna keep coming and coming, and I think you know it.
So what you need is you need me, and you need me now.  I'm the
only one that can made this go away."

X:  "Yah!  Why are you always asking for something you are
_never_ going to get?!  Get  off!  Yah!"

Ares:  "Oh, gee-- I guess this is my exit."

X:  "Yah!  All right, Gabrielle-- we're on!"


Girl:  "What happened, Daddy?"

O Jox:  "Uh-h-h-h-h-- well, it's the end of the scroll, Pumpkin,
but it's not the end of the story."

Boy:  "How do you know?"

Jox:  "'Cause I was there."


X:  "Come on!  Gabrielle!  Whoa!  Gabrielle!  Ah-h-h-h!"

G:  "Uh!"

Ath:  "It ends now."

X:  "Gabrielle-- Gabrielle."


X:  "Gabrielle?  Eve?  Eve?!  Eve?  [Whispers]  Eve.  [Normal
Voice]  Eve?  Oh-- oh.  Oh!"

Ath:  "The prophecy has been shattered."

X:  "No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!"

Jox:  "Oh, no."

X:  "Gabrielle-- Gabrielle?  Oh-- Gabrielle?"  [Cries]

Jox:  "Oh, gods."


X:  "Each to his own.  You to yours-- and me to mine!

Ares:  "No, Xena-- don't."

X:  "Ares-- you can't stop me this time."

Ares:  "No."

X:  "It's over.  It's over.  Join your family.  Tell them it's a
package deal.  They get me, too."



Oct's Voice:  "Unbelievable.  Where are they?"

Oct:  "Joxer-- good to see you, again.  Where's Xenar [sic] and

Jox:  "Octavius-- they're gone.  I saw the whole thing but I was
too far away.  I coudn't help them."

Oct:  "Joxer-- they're not dead."

Jox [Whispers]:  "What?  [Normal Voice]  What?!  Eve-- it can't
be.  Eve?"


Boy:  "Dad-- how was Eve alive?"

O Jox:  "OK, OK.  Remember back.  What did the fates tell Xena?"

Girl:  "That she had to die-- to save Eve?"

O Jox:  "That's right.  But remember, you can't take what the
fates say literally.  They said-- `Only in the essence-- '"

[[[[[[Clo [Interrupts]:  "Only in the essence of death, will the
child find salvation, and the twilight be set in motion."]]]]]]

O Jox:  "`The essence of death.'"


Oct:  "The tears, Joxer-- did you see her drink the tears?"

Jox:  "She drank poison, Octavius."

Oct [and O Jox's Voice]:  "But it wasn't poison."


O Jox's Voice [As Narrator]:  "You see, Xena never intended to
kill death at all.  It was Celesta's tears she really needed--
the essence-- of death-- the only thing, Xena realized, that
could simulate the appearance of their deaths to the gods-- "

[[[[[[X:  "Eve?"]]]]]]

O Jox's Voice [As Narrator]:  "-- but only after convincing the
gods-- that Eve had also been killed."


Boy:  "But-- Eve was in-- "

O Jox:  "Eve-- was in-- the wagon."


Jox:  "Eve was in that cart."

Oct:  "No, Joxer."

[[[[[[G:  "You know, she's right about one thing, Xena-- the gods
will stop at nothing.  Holding Celesta prevents them from killing
anyone, but they'll inflict pain-- suffering."]]]]]]

O Jox's Voice [As Narrator]:  "Eve was safe.  The tears were
collected.  Next-- release Celesta without it looking suspicious.
Gabrielle got captured-- on purpose.  Trying to rescue me made
her capture look like it was unplanned."

[[[[[[Ath:  "Where is she?"  Jox:  "OK, tell her!  Tell

O Jox's Voice [As Narrator]:  "Gabrielle revealed Xena's

[[[[[[G:  "She's headed to the ocean."  Ath:  "Details to follow,
I'm sure."]]]]]]


O Jox:  "The rest of the plan played out."


O Jox's Voice [As Narrator]:  "The gods assumed-- Xena-- "

[[[[[[X:  "Yah!"]]]]]]

O Jox's Voice [As Narrator]:  "-- and her child-- were

[[[[[[X:  "Gabrielle!"]]]]]]

O Jox's Voice [As Narrator]:  "My guess-- my hope-- was that
Gabrielle drank the tears first.  From that point, all they had
to do was put on a convincing show."

[[[[[[X:  [Yells]]]]]]]

O Jox's Voice:  "To the gods, Gabrielle was killed in the crash."

[[[[[[X:  "Eve?"]]]]]]

O Jox's Voice [As Narrator]:  "Eve was dead-- consumed in the
burning wreckage."

[[[[[[X:  "No-o-o-o-o!"]]]]]]

O Jox's Voice [As Narrator]:  "And even if they weren't
completely convinced-- what better way to solve that problem than
by Xena-- taking her own life?"

[[[[[[X:  "Tell them it's a package deal.  They get me,

O Jox's Voice [As Narrator]:  "The effect of the tears would soon
wear off, with Xena, Eve, and Gabrielle presumed dead by all of
Olympus-- the perfect cover-- the perfect advantage.  But one
thing happened-- they never could have predicted."

[[[[[[Jox:  "Ares took them away-- just before you got here."
Oct:  "Oh, no."]]]]]]


Ares:  "You're with her now.  I handled you-- all wrong.  I know
that.  She knew what you needed-- unconditional-- and unselfish
love-- and I couldn't give that to you.  But I appreciated you in
ways she never could-- your rage-- your violence-- your beauty.
When you sacrificed yourself for others, you were hers-- but when
you kicked ass-- you were mine.  I love you, Xena."


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