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“Mummy Dearest” Episode 41/304 [TEASER] Thug 1: “We’re in. Hand me the torch.” Thug 2: “Do you feel all right? Any sudden fever or boils? Plaue?” Thug 1: “For the last time, there’s no such thing as a curse. It is told only to keep people like us from treausres-- like that.” Thug 2: “Perhaps we should leave-- before the curese-- begins-- ” Thug 1 [Interrupting]: “Don’t be ridiculous. Some will pay handsomely for this treasure.” [Laughs] ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- [Indistinct conversation] Men’s Voices: “Over here!” “Coming through.” “Wait till you see my mask.” “Have you tried the witches’ brew?” Woman’s Voice: “No.” Vendor: “Wax skulls. Get ‘em here. Fine quality.” H: “Weird.” Phineus [Phi]: “So-- our guest of honor has finally arrived.” H: “It’s good to see you again, Phineus. Ah-- place looks-- different.” Phi: “Eh-- the children have decorated it for the festival. They wanna scare away the ghost of King Cecrops.” H: “The ghost-- of King Cecrops.” Phi: “You’re not afraid of the king’s ghost? Even though his dying words were to swear vengeance against you?!” H: “If I worried about every threat-- I would never-- leave home.” Keb: “Hey, you!” Man’s Voice: “Party’s over!” H: “And, at the moment, home is lookin’ pretty good.” Phi: “Bye.” Keb: “If I were you-- I’ d turn around and leave now!” H: “Thanks, for the advice, friend, but I-- was invited.” Keb: “Well, here’s my invitation!” H: “I don’t care much for your stationery.” [Fight] H: “You better brush up on your etiquette.” Anuket [Anu]: “On the contrary-- that was perfect.” H: “Really? I’ve always felt that a, ‘Hello. How are you? Nice to meet you.’ is-- more appropriate.” Anu: “Hello. How are you? Nice to meet you.” H: “Well, actually, we haven’t met. I’m-- ” Anu: “Hercules-- yes, I know. I’m the princess, Anuket-- daughter of Ramses the third, Pharaoh of Egypt.” H: “That’s a big title. And this must be your-- royal welcome wagon.” Anu: “It was the only way for me to make sure that you were the right one.” H: “The right one for what?” Anu: “To find my mummy.” H: “Your-- mommy?” Anu: “Not-- my mommy, my mummy.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Salmoneus [Sal] [Coughs]: “Whaddya call this thing, again?” Thug 1: “A mummy-- yours for forty dinars.” Sal: “Forty?! It’s all wrinkled! When’s the last time you washed it? Look-- it’s falling apart, here.” Thug 1: “Fine-- twenty dinars. Look-- give me ten dinars, and I’ll leave.” Sal: “Deal.” Thug 1: “May the gods protect you.” Sal: “You, too, friend. Huh! This trinket alone is worth more than ten dinars. You, my friend, are gonna make me a mint.” [Laughs] ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- [ACT I] Keb: “Kneel before the princess. ” H: “Thanks, but I’ll stand.” Anu: “You may go now, Keb.” Keb: “Yes, your Highness.” Anu: “He was only acting on my orders.” H: “Does he do everything you want?” Anu: “Everybody does. For some day, I will rule all of Egypt. Now-- we must talk about my mummy.” H: “Sorry, Anuket, but mummies give me the creeps.” Anu: “How dare you speak in such terms?! this is the body of the great Pharaoh, Ishtar-- from whom I am descended. It was stolen from its burial place. Its trail has led us here to Attica.” H: “You’re-- worrying about a dead man when you’re denying real, live people their freedom.” Anu: “You want me to free my slaves? Surely, the great Hercules cannot be so ignorant. Have you never learned the privileges of royalty?” H [Sighs]: “No, thank you. I’ve lost my appetite.” Anu: “Hercules-- come-- sit. Enjoy.” H: “Not on your life, lady.” Anu: “I will _not_-- be insulted!” H: “I think you just were. How can you treat human beings like property? Anu: “They have good lives. I feed them-- clothe them-- shelter them.” H: “And, what if something happens to you?” Anu: “They are buried with me, of course.” H: “Even thought, they’re still alive.” Anu: “Their fates are intertwined with mine. It makes perfect sense.” H: “Ah, no-- I’ll tell you what makes perfect sense-- _my_-- leaving.” Anu: “I command you to stay!” H: “Excuse me?” Anu: “I _want_ you to find my mummy-- and I _want_ you to find it, now.” H: “Manners aren’t your strong suit, are they? Bye-bye, Princess.” Anu: “Keb! Come quickly! We have work to do.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Delivery Man [Del Man]: “Hello?!” Sal: “Oh, good, the wax! Put it down with the other crates.” Del Man: “You are making many candles?” Sal: “Candles? Candles, my friend, are a mere utilitarian object. This will become art. And the art will become part of-- Salmoneus’ house of horrors. [Laughs] All wax-- except for the centerpiece of my exhibit-- my greatest find-- the part that exhibits man’s deepest, darkest nature-- the evil curse that permeates-- ” Del Man: [Screams] Sal: “Everybody’s a critic! What, you’ve never seen a mummy, before?! Don’t listen to him. You and I are gonna make some serious dinars, together.” [Laughs] ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Women’s Voices: “You can be anything you please, tonight!” “-- the mask... straight out of Tartarus.” “There she is.” Phi: “Please, excuse me. I-I wasn’t looking.” Keb: “How dare you touch Princess Anuket?! You will _die_ for this offense!” Anu: “No, Keb-- release him.” Keb: “But-- !” Anu: “Do it, now.” H: “That’s better.” Phi: “Much better.” H: “Does he-- ever relax?” Anu: “Leave us.” Keb: “Yes, your Highness.” Anu: “He protects me only when I don’t want to be touched.” H: “Hmm. Uh-oh. I’m-- sorry, Princess, but I’m-- not in the market.” Anu: “But I come-- seeking your help.” H: “You know? If this is about your mummy again, I-I’m still not interested. I mean, a body wrapped in-- cloth. I mean, why would anyone want such a thing?” Anu: “Please-- you are talking about my ancestors.” H: “My apologies.” Anu: “He’s much more powerful as a mummy than he ever was as a Pharaoh. If his crypt is opened-- the world is in danger-- for the mummy will grow hungry.” H: “Hungry-- in-in-- in what way?” Anu: “It hungers for human life. If it kills, it’s-- victim’s life-force will give it-- unspeakable power. Then the only thing that can control it is the ankh.” H: “The ankh?” Anu: “A special pendant made of gold-- exactly the kind of thing whoever has the mummy is likely to sell.” H: “Oh.” Anu: “Please, Hercules, you must find the mummy-- for the good of the world-- if nothing else.” H: “Right, uh-- the good-- of the world. I better-- go find my mommy-- uh, I mean-- _your_-- mummy.” Woman: “Oh!” H: “Uh-- excuse me.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Sokar [Sok]: “Ah-- what refined bone structure-- such noble features. Look at that strong chin-- those commanding eyes. I take it he was someone of importance.” Del Man: “King Cecrops. It’s-- _was_ King Cecrops.” Sok: “Ah-- that explains it. A king always recognizes a king when he sees one.” Del Man: “You?! You’re a king?” Sok: “Soon! So-- you know where the mummy is.” Del Man: “It’s in the house of horrors.” Sok: “The house of-- he’s lying. Kill him.” Del Man: “No! I swear by the gods! I saw the mummy when I made a delivery there. It was-- wrapped in bandages, and it tried to grab me.” Sok: “It is gaining strength-- but it has not yet killed. This is good. What of the golden ankh?” Del Man: “The ankh?” Sok: “Don’t play dumb. You must have seen it. Here-- looks like this.” Del Man: “Yes! The curator was wearing it!” Sok: “Not for long-- and once I have the mummy-- and the ankh-- I’ll finally be Pharaoh, and Anuket, my bride. Unfortunately-- you know more than you should.” Del Man: “Me? I won’t say anything.” Sok: “Bring me some wax. I want to make a contribution to the arts.” Del Man: “Nooo! Noooo! No! No! No!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Sal: “You think this is too gaudy for this outfit? Nah, you’re right. Ya never can wear too much gold, huh? Huh. Wait a second! Be right there-- hold it! Wait a second! Wait a second! Whoa!” Man: “I have another delivery for you. Where do you want him?” Sal: “Very realistic-- bring it in before it melts! Come on! Bring it on in! Thank you! Bring it on i-- nice horns-- love those horns. Bring it in there, yeah. Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait-- the workmanship is terrific, but, uh-- I didn’t order this.” Man: “It’s a donation-- from a patron of the arts.” Sal: “It’s free? Love those patrons. Huh. This guy looks familiar. Ah, it’ll scare the tunics off ‘em. Bring him in. Bring him in.” Man: “Come on.” Sal: “Go ahead-- over to the left. Thank you. Yes, indeedy, they will _faint_ with pleasure. Right there is good; right there is good. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey-- grand opening is tonight-- tell your friends. Thank you. Thank you.” Man: “All right.” A Man’s Voice: “Excellent-- I’ll tell him.” Sal: “Ha-ha-ha-ha. Ohhh-- you guys look terrific. Your mothers will be proud. You’re being immortalized like this, huh? Ha-ha.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Sokar’s Men: “You promised two dinars.” “All right.” H: “Hi-- need a hand? Ahhh, just-- trying to help. I mean, we’re-- all on the same side. Aren’t we? Apparently not.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- [ACT II] H: “Can we talk about this? I see.” Masked Man: “Ooops! Wrong party!” H: “Good timing.” [Fight] H: “Goin’ up.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Sal: “‘Hey, Sal-- how are you?’ ‘I’m fine.’ ‘Oh, I’m a little long in the tooth. Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh!’” Sokar’s Men’s Voices: [Yell] ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Sal: “What are they hangin’ around for? Hercules!” H: “Salmoneus?” Sal: “Excuse me. Coming through. Coming through. Sorry! Sorry, sorry.” H: “What are you doing here?” Sal: “Haven’t you heard?” H: “No?” Sal: “Everybody’s talking about it! Tonight’s the grand opening. But since you’re a friend, I’ll give ya a special preview.” H: “Of what?” Sal: “Salmoneus’ house of horrors. [Laughs] It’s the greatest collection of monsters, maniacs, and murderers of all time.” H: “And people-- pay to see that.” Sal: “Are you kidding? People love to be scared to death! They pay big dinars for thrills and chills! I prefer a good romantic comedy, but, uh, hey-- they demand-- I supply. And with the endorsement of [makes fanfare sound]-- Hercules! Gotta be a hit!” H: “Ah-- thanks, but, I’ve-- seen enough fiends for one day?” Sal: “Hmm.” H: “Now, if you excuse me, I have a-- spoiled princess to meet who, needs to learn some manners.” Sal: “Spoiled princess-- does she have a sister?” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Sok: “Hercules! Hercules is here.” Sok’s Slave: “It is said he is half-god.” Sok: “I know.” Sok’s Slave: “It’ll be difficult to get the mummy if he guards his friend’s door.” Sok: “How powerful would the mummy be-- if its thirst for blood was joined with the strength of Hercules?” Sok’s Slave: “It would be unstoppable.” Sok: “Then we must make it so.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- H: “Stay. What is it with you, Anuket?” Anu: “How dare you speak to a princess so rudely?” H: “Will you tell your men-- to back off. I’m spending more time, fighting them, than searching for this-- mummy.” Anu: “But I ordered my slaves to stay out of your way.” H: “Well, maybe your slaves have minds of their own.” Anu: “They must not have been Egyptians.” H: “Same hair, same clothes-- maybe-- not as well-dresses as usual, but-- ” Anu: “My slaves are always perfectly dressed. I allow no [Softer]-- I allow no rags. How could it be? It must.” H: “What?” Anu: “Sokar is here.” H: “Sokar.” Anu: “He was my father’s high priest-- an evil man who-- asked for my hand in marriage, but my father refused. So Sokar vowed vengeance. If he finds the mummy first-- we will all be doomed.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Sok: “So there’s Hercules. No doubt, his head is filled with dreams. But he will not have Anuket for long-- and he will not deny me the throne of Egypt. Bring me that mummy-- now.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Sal: “You know, boys? Today, ya see me suave-- debonair-- self-confident. I wasn’t always like this! Oh, no! I had doubts! Yes, me-- I had doubts that this was a good idea. But, now that I see you here-- I gotta tell ya-- ya look fabulous. Hello? You’re tricking me, right? [Chuckles] I think I should learn-- never to doubt my own sense of w-- . [Screams] Ahhh! Ahh! What do I do?! Wh-- where?! Yeah! Yeah!” Sok’s Slaves: “The mummy’s in here! “There it is!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Sal: “Uh! [Laughs, then moans] [Mummy’s Voice] What a relief! I’ve been waiting for _centuries_ for someone to do that! Thank ye! Now-- if ya don’t mind-- I’ll see ya latuh [sic]! [Normal Voice] Or, I could see ya right now. Hey!” Sok’s Slave: “It looked like a mummy.” Sok: “A dummy-- more like it. Only a pharaoh-- may wear this.” Sal: “Ow! Then you’re a pharaoh, huh?” Sok: “I will be-- soon enough. And you are-- the curator of-- ?” Sal: “Salmoneus’ famous house of horrors [Starts to laugh]. We offer two-for-one group discounts-- and bargain matinees.” Sok: “Silence! You have something I want.” Sal: “Wonderful! Maybe could work out a deal. Uh-- that head of King Cecrops, for instance-- is a _wonderfully_ gruesome item. Now-- I’ve got an extra Harpie back in the shop.” Sok: “You know of King Cecrops?” Sal: “Oh, yes-- I remember when my good friend-- Hercules! Hm-mm-mm-mm-- brought about his untimely demise!” Sok: “Well, you mean-- Hercules killed him.” Sal: “Well, technically, Cecrops-- tripped over the cliff, but he blamed Hercules for his downfall-- and vowed to exact revenge-- even from beyond the grave. [Whistles] Evil, huh? And perfect for my exhibit.” Sok: “You-- will bring me the mummy.” Sal: “I-I’m sorry. The mummy is worth a lot more than the bust of Cecrops.” Sok: “Is it worth your life?” Sal: “Good question. But we have a _tiny_ problem, here, sort-of-Pharaohship. Uh-uh, th-th-the-the _mummy_ is, um-- how can I put this? Alive. And I’m reluctant to-- ” Sok: “You will bring it to me-- or die.” Sal: “If you put it that way-- ” Sok: “Take him away.” Sal: “Nice to meetcha, Mr. Almost-Pharoh!” Sok’s Slave: “But, Sokar-- if you let him go-- might he bring Hercules?” Sok: “That’s what I’m counting on. Now, come with me. We must work-- quickly.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Men’s Voices: “Everybody dance!” “Come on! H: “I think we’re just about out of hiding places.” Anu: “But my sources say the mummy is definitely here in Attica. And if Sokar has come, my sources _must_ be accurate.” H: “Right on the money, I’d say. Stay here. Stay out of sight.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- H: “Don’t you do anything you’re told?” Anu: “You don’t-- why should I?” Cat: [Screeches] Anu: [Screams] H: “I guess it’s too late to ask you to be quiet.” Anu: “You’re not funny. Now, where are we?” H: “This was King Cecrops’ favorite retreat. It’s his-- war room. Look out!” Anu [Screams]: “You saved my life.” H: “I hope I did it well enough to meet with your approval.” Anu: “May we go now?” H: “You’re the one who’s on top.” Anu: “Uh!” Cecrops’ Ghost: “Her-- cules!” H: “You-- said we were looking for a mummy. You didn’t-- say anything about a ghost.” Anu: “A ghost?” Cecrops’ Ghost: “_I_ will have-- _my_ revenge!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- [ACT III] Cecrops’ Ghost: “I’m going to tear your heart out-- and feed it-- to the vultures.” H: “It’s nice to see you again, too. You don’t look too good, Cecrops.” Cecrops’ Ghost: “I’m dead!” H: “That explains it.” Anu: “I think you look very-- well, for a dead person. May we go, please?” H: “Wait a minute.” Cecrops’ Ghost: “I’m gonna _drain_ the life from you-- drop-- by-- drop-- as you-- did-- to mine.” H: “But you-- fell off a cliff.” Cecrops’ Ghost: [Hemming and Hawing] Anu: “Don’t-- you’ll make it angry.” H: “I haven’t even started.” Cecrops’ Ghost: “_What_ are you doing?! _Don’t_ do that! Nooooo!” H: “That should keep me busy for another seven years.” Anu: “Where’s the ghost?” H: “There wasn’t one. It was a-- simple magician’s trick, all done with mirrors.” Anu: “Well, who was the magician?” H and Anu: “Sokar.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Sal: “Mr. _Mu-u-u-mmy_-- are ya here? Someone wants to me-e-t youuuuu. Oh! [Sighs] Thank the gods! They must have taken him. Why don’t you hide-- and _I’ll_ seek! Guess not!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Sal: “Uh, Hercules! My exhibit’s tryin’ to kill me!” H: “What are you talkin’ about?” Sal: “I’m talkin’ about a big, mean mummy!” H: “A m-- a mummy! You have the mummy?! Why didn’t you tell me?!” Sal: “Showmanship! It’s a surprise! Besides-- he almost had me a moment ago-- and if he doesn’t, that lunatic quasi-pharaoh will!” Anu: “Quasi-phar-- ?! Sokar?! You are working for Sokar?! I will have you _killed_ for this treasonous thievery!” Sal: “I didn’t _steal_ it! I paid a _fair_ price for it! A _low_ price, but I paid in full!” Anu: “You are a _liar_ as well!” H: “Salmoneus is maybe a lot of things, but he’s not a thief, and he’s usually-- not a liar.” Anu: “You defend him?” Sal: “You betcha he does!” H: “_If_ he brings me to the mummy.” Sal: “I could do that. In fact, I could tell you _just_ where it is, while _I_ wait over here.” H: “Show me.” Sal: “Right this way!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- H: “It’s not here.” Sal: “Whoo!” Anu: “Sokar has the ankh.” Sal: “Ankh?” Anu: “If the mummy consumes the life force of a human-- it’ll become a monster-- and Sokar will have complete control.” Sal: “It’s not monster enough as it is?!” Anu: “Nothing compared to what it will be if it kills.” H: “Then we better find it.” Sal: “Whaddya mean, ‘We’? Hey!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- H: “It didn’t even knock. Let’s go.” Sal: [Screams] ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- H: “Stay here. So, you wanna play hide-and-seek.” Sal: “No, he hates that game.” H: “This is one, fast mummy.” Sal: “What happened to the foot-dragging classic we all know and love?” H: “Where’s Anuket? Sal: “Huh?” H [Sighs]: “Great.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Anu: “Hercules? Hercules!” [Screams] [Sighs] [Screams] ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- H: “Anuket! Anuket!” Sal: “Maybe she’s off, flogging her slaves.” H: “She was right behind us. You take the left. I’ll go up here, all right? Salmoneus? Salmoneus. Anuket? [Scream in the distance] Where is everybody?” Sal [Hi-pitched]: “Help me!” [Fight] H: “Yuck. Whoa!” Sal: “Hercules! Watch out!” H: “So much for your friend.” Sal: “We never really connected on an emotional level. He was always kind of a stiff.” H: “Yeah, I know what you mean. Come on-- let’s find Anuket” Sal: “Yeah.” Anu’s Voice [Screams]: “Help!” H: “She’s in the pit.” Sal: “Uck! That’s terrible! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!” H [Interrupts]: “Who-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-a!” Sal: “Sorry.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- H: “Thanks, Salmoneus Ohhhhhh.” Mummy: [Growls] H: “We have _got_ to stop meeting like this.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- [ACT IV] Anu: “Hercules!” H: “I’m-- busy.” Sok: “Welcome, Hercules. I trust you find your quarters quite comfortable.” H: “Well, I was-- hoping for something with an ocean view-- and it is a little cramped.” Sok: “Oh-- one of you will make room for the other. I’m betting on him.” H: “That’s a bad bet.” Anu: “Release both of us immediately, Sokar, or you will suffer the consequences.” Sok: “The only thing I’ll suffer from is the weight of all the gold [Flashes to Sal, here] your father’ll heap upon me-- when he sees _I_ control-- the mummy.” [Flashes to Sal, here] Anu: “Only a pharaoh may wear that.” Sok: “And I _will_ be a pharaoh-- as soon as that mummy tears Hercules limb from limb. And it will absorb his life force and his strength.” H: “Don’t count on it.” Sok: “Oh, but I am.” Anu: “Let me _go_, Sokar.” Sok: “Certainly-- as soon as we’re married.” [Laughs] Anu: “Let me go!” H: “Sokar!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Men’s Voices: “Bring on the spirits!” “Release them!” Woman’s Voice: “Dance till dawn!” Man’s Voice: “Hey there, my pretty!” Sal: “Hey, friend! Try this on! It’s scary, yet comfortable! Don’t stand around-- fret and fume-- try one of my _new_ costumes! Whoa! That’s terrific! But, put this on, and your friends will throw up-- and, what’s more-- it’s free! Ho-ho! It hurts me to say that. What’s It to say that. Friend! Here we go! Try this on!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- [Fight] H: “_Don’t_ you know anything else?! That’s better. Whoa! Ouch. Shoot. Ahhhh! Don’t go anywhere.” Sal: “Hercules! Don’t worry! I’m here!” H: “Lucky me. Come on! Let’s go find Anuket!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Woman’s Voice: “-- I’m a ghost!” Man’s Voice: “Let them come to us if they dare!” Sok: “Walk like an Egyptian!” Anu: [Startles] Sok: “Huh? Where did all these mummies come from? Huh? What is _happening_ here?” H: “I would say you were outnumbered. Now, let her go.” Anu: “Hercules!” Sal: “Pretty realistic, don’t ya think?” H: “_Too_ realistic.” [Fight] H: “Please.” Anu: “You are a great warrior, Hercules. I only wish Egypt could claim you.” H: “As a slave?” Sal: “Ya know? There’s a world of potential in these mummy costumes. Somebody’s always tryin’ to dress up like somebody else, huh? Boy! Do I do good work, or what, huh?!” H: “Salmoneus? Uh, that’s no costume.” Sal: “Nice mummy.” H: “It’s not gonna be nice, until it’s back in its crypt.” [Fight] Anu: “Wait! The ankh! It must not work until the mummy has consumed a human’s life force!” H: “Now you tell me.” Sal: “You OK?” H: “No! Anuket, behind you!” Sok: “If I can’t have Anuket-- nobody will.” Anu: “No!” Sok: “Ha-ha-ha!” Anu: “No.” Sal: “Uh, Sokar-- ya might want to-- ” Sok [Screaming]: “Nooooooooooooo!” Sal: “Oh, that’s disgusting. Wow! This puts my house of horrors to shame!” H: “Hey! Rag man!” Sal: “Ahhhhhhhh!” Mummy: [Screams] H: “Ooh.” Keb: “Princess-- please-- ” Anu: “Anything, Keb. Ask anything.” Keb: “I only wish to die-- a free man.” Anu: “You were right, Hercules. But now it’s too late.” H: “It’s never too late.” Anu: “You are a slave-- no more, Keb. And I will return to Egypt-- and work to make sure-- that everyone like you-- is freed.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- H: “Will you be returning to Egypt right away?” Anu: “Yes, I have much work to do, there. I hope, some day, you’ll visit my country.” H: “I would like that very much.” Anu: “This-- is for you.” H: “I thought only-- pharaohs were allowed to wear this.” Anu: “You’re close enough.” H: “Thanks. But-- I can’t accept it.” Anu: “Then-- will you accept-- this?” Sal: “You know anybody who’s in the market for some cheap thrills?” H: “Uh-- looks like you’re giving up on the house of horrors.” Sal: “Yeah, looks like-- especially after that excitement last night. But I have all this wax left over-- about a ton of it. What do I _do_ with it?! I’m thinking-- crayons-- wax candles-- chariot wheels-- wax-- ” H [Interrupting]: “You could always donate it to a good cause.” Sal: “Donate it?” H: “It’s-- just a thought. Oh, hey-- you’d be a hero.” Sal: “Wait a second. Wait a second! Wait a second! Hero?! Wax! Hero?! Wax! Her-- ?! Wax heroes! A house of wax heroes! No, no, no, no! Think about it! Think of it-- celebrities-- politicians-- gods! Sports figures! Hercules! You would look terrific in wax! Whaddya think?! Huh?!” H: “Eh-- walk me to the front gate.” Sal: “Huh?! No, really! Think of it! Little dolls-- in action poses! That could work.” H: “Goodbye, Salmoneus.” Sal [Interrupting]: “Wait a second! Let me talk about this with ya, huh?!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Men’s Voices: “This thing weighs a ton.” “Now, at least it’s harmless.”
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