Whoosh! Online
Edition Take a Journey Through Tartarus!

TRANSCRIPTION OF HTLJ
LES CONTEMPTIBLES


“Les Contemptibles”  54/317

[TEASER]

[NB:  Unless indicated otherwise, all lines are spoken in a
cheesy French accent.]

Francois [Fran]:  “These last two weeks, since we met at the
Louvres, have gone by so quickly.”

Lady Marie [LM]:  “For me too, Francois.”

Fran:  “I want no secret between us.”

LM:  “Nor I.  You have something to tell me?”

Fran:  “Something-- that could put both our lives in jeopardy.”

LM:  “Huh!  A yellow rose-- the calling card of-- ”

Fran:  “The Chartreuse Fox.”

LM:  “You-- are that infamous traitor?”

Fran:  “I prefer the term, ‘patriot’.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------

Sold:  “Hip-hop, hip-hop.”

Gerard [Ger]:  “Attention!  Halt!”

Claude:  “Whoa!”

LM:  “Why are we stopping, Claude?”

Claude:  “It’s the police, Mademoiselle.”

Fran:  “Was it a mistake to tell you?”

Ger:  “You, in the carriage, step out now!  I command it!  Lady
Duvall.”

LM:  “Capitain Gerard.  Uh-- why was I stopped?”

Ger:  “My apologies.  I did not recognize your coach.  We are
seeking the Chartreuse Fox.”

LM:  “Ahh.”

Ger:  “Are you travelling alone?”

LM:  “I am with-- my father-- uh, but he is not well.” 

Fran:  [Coughs]

Ger:  “What is wrong with him?”

Fran:  [Coughs]

LM:  “I-- I don’t know-- consumption?”

Fran: [Coughs]

LM:  “Perhaps-- the plague!  Uh, would you like to see him?
Papa!”

Ger:  “No, no, no, no-- that is not necessary.  Please--
proceed.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------

LM:  “Tell me, Dear Fox.  Why do you risk your life for peasants
too stupid and lazy to fend for themselves, huh?

Fran:  “I believe, in every man’s heart, there is a hero.”

LM:  “But not-- a peasant?”

Fran:  “Even a peasant heart can be noble!  They wait for just
one, as that Chartreuse Fox, to rouse the hero from within!”

LM:  “Oh, you could do that?  Turn a-- lowly peasant into a
hero.”

Fran:  “Given the resources, yes.”

LM:  “Even for a man as daring and heroic as yourself, that would
be quite a feat, no?”

Fran:  “Are you challenging me, Ma Cherie?”

LM:  “It would make an interesting wager, oui.”

Fran:  “Ohhh-- and what would we bet?”

LM:  “I believe you have seen my collateral.”

Fran:  “Ohhh!  Now what?!  What is it this time?!”

Claude:  “The man is hurt, Monsieur!”

Jean Pierre [JP]:  “Oh, please, help me!  Help me!  Ohhhhh!  Oh!
Oh!  Monsieur, merci beaucoups  most kind-- merci.”

Fran:  “What do you want?”

JP:  “Hah!  I-- am Jean Pierre-- highwayman-- extraordinaire!
Give me your money!”

Fran:  “Merci!  You have rescued us!  Whoa!  Ah-ah!”

Robert [Rob]:  “I am Robert-- also highwayman extraordinaire.
Give _moi_ your money.”

JP:  “Idiot!”

Rob:  “Huh?”

JP:  “What are you trying to do?!”

Rob:  “What?!”

JP:  “What are you trying to do?!”

Rob:  “What?!”

JP:  “You almost killed me!  Killed me!”

Rob:  “OK!”

JP:  “All right, then!”

Rob:  “Hey!”

JP:  “What?!”

Rob:  “Hey!”

JP:  “OK!  Now, then!”

[Fight]

Fran:  “Can you give me any raison I should not run you through
on the spot?”

Rob:  “Uhhh-- I can not think of one, no.”

Fran:  “OK.”

LM:  “Huh!  Francois!  This is the _perfect_ opportunity-- ”

Fran:  “Quoi?”

LM:  “Our bet?  Peasants into heroes?”

Fran:  “You’re right-- they are perfect.  _I_ will turn them into
heroes!  Or they will die trying  [Laughs].”

Rob:  “Jean Pierre.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------

[ACT I]

Fran:  “Bon.  Now, just listen to me; then, if you’re not
convinced, I pay for your time and you’ll be free to go.”

Rob:  “Pay us?”

Fran:  “Ah-- oui.  I have sold all my worldly possessions to
support the cause.”

JP:  “What cause?”

Fran:  “Um-- we get into that later.  This is all I have left.”

JP:  “Hmm!  You look as if you are flat broke.  Hmm!”

Fran:  “Oh!  This chateau belong [sic] to my cousin.  I am just,
uh-- visiting.”

Rob:  “It can not hurt to listen, Jean Pierre, huh?”

JP:  “What?”

Rob  [Normal accent]:  “I said, it can’t hurt to listen.”

Fran:  “That’s the spirit!  Tell me-- what do you know of the
ancient Greeks?”

JP:  “Uh-- they liked-- olives?”

Rob:  “They are-- all dead.”

LM:  “Uh-- they were very-- progressive.  Let me tell you about
them.  They were a noble society-- with lofty ideals-- and a
dedication to mankind’s-- higher self.”

Fran:  “Oh, yes, there was, of course, that.  But I am talking
about different ancient Greece!  I am talking of a place that saw
a champion of the common man emerge as the hero of his time.  And
that hero was-- Hercule!”

Rob and JP:  “Who?”

[Bad guy:  “Who are you, anyway?”  H:  “Hercules.”  Bad guy:
“Hercules?”]  [I:  “Oh, uh-- now, wait a minute, Hercules.
Aren’t we headed-- ?”  Woman:  “You’re Hercules?”]

Fran:  “Hercule possessed towering strength and compassion.  He
never ignored a cry for help.”

[Himner:  “Yo!  Hey!  I’m one of the good guys!”  H:  “You are?”
Himner:  “I’m Himner, of Cernea.  I’ve come to ask your help!”]
[Man:  “Are you Hercules?!  A hundred of us were sent to find
you!”  H:  “Bring him water.  You’re safe here.  Where are the
rest?”  Man:  “Dead-- all dead.”]  [Woman:  “Help!  Help!”]

Fran:  “The people had a friend to turn to in times of need.”

[Woman:  “A warlord named Attillus, has captured our village, on
the other side of the valley!  We need your help!”]  [H:  “No!
We spill no more blood!”]

Fran:  “A friend who solved problems, not with brute force, but
with tact and diplomacy.”

[H:  “Freedom-- is more precious than revenge.  And you will--
set them free, won’t you?”  Man:  [Clears voice]:  “Sure.”]  [X:
“Go on-- finish it.  Prove you’re the greatest warrior.”  H:
“Killing isn’t the only way of proving that you’re a warrior,
Xena-- and I think you know that.”]  [H:  You may have been my
mentor, but-- no one ever had a better father.”  Centaur:  “It
was my pleasure.”]  [Man’s Voice:  “Guard [?]!  Keep those
buckets coming!”]

Fran:  “In the face of danger, he was there, never surrendering
hope.”

[Fire scene-- lots of screaming and yelling, most of which is
indecipherable.]

Fran:  “At times like these, when no common man could get the job
done, it was _Hercule_ to the rescue!”

[I:  “OK!  Come on!  Get out!  Get back!  Come on!  Get back!
Get back!  Come on!”]  [Man:  “Hercules-- Hercules, we owe you a
debt of gratitude, that can never be repaid.”]  [Woman:
“Hercules-- I had you wrong.  You are a living legend-- and a
hero in the true sense of the word.”  H:  “I just try to help
people the best I can.”]  [I:  “To heroes!”  All:  “To heroes!”]

Fran:  “His life was a testament to bravery and honor.  Hercule
was a hero for the common man.  He gave hope and promise.”

LM:  “I had no idea he was so-- impressive.”

Fran:  “To free the downtrodden of France!  We must all become
the heroes!”

LM:  “You’re not listening!”

JP:  “Ow!”

LM:  “You are foolish and lazy.  You stink-- not worth trying to
save.”

Fran:  “Allow me to show you what makes them this way, Ma Cherie.
I think you will see-- they are good.  Gentlemen!  Are you
hungry?”

Rob and JP:  “Sure.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------

Sold:  “Mon Capitain!”

Ger:  “The attack on the armory-- it was the Chartreuse Fox.
Here is his signature.  More weapons stolen, to be used by those
treacherous dogs against us!  I find certain, the Fox was here in
Troyes.  Finally, I have him within my grasp.  We shall meet yet,
Monsieur Fox.  This I swear.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------

Woman’s Voice:  “Fishcakes!”

LM:  “Oh!  Francois-- these peasants are revolting.”

Fran:  “Yes-- they throw off the shackle of oppression.”

LM:  “No, I mean they are disgusting.”

Fran:  “Oh, yeah, that too.”

Croissant:  “Ah, bonjour.  Je m’appelle Croissant-- les meilleurs
crepes du monde.  Vous avez faim, hmm?  Nous avons du poissons,
du calamare.”

JP:  “Yeah, ca suffis, huh?  Can you not say it in plain French?”

Croissant:  “Oh, hmm-- hello, I am Croissant, and I sell here the
best seafood crap in all of France.”

LM:  “Do you have any-- specials?”

Croissant:  “Ah--for you-- catch of the day-- crepes!”

LM:  “Oooh!  What _is_ that?”

Croissant:  “Well, if I knew what it is-- that’s what I call it.
You want some, or not?”

LM:  “Uh!  Uh!”

Rob:  “Have we met?”

LM:  “How can you live like this?”

Rob:  “I-- like, uh, what?”

JP:  “You think we have a choice?”

Fran:  “You see why I have chosen to fight for these less
fortunate?  It is like-- Hercule helping the mortals.  Life would
lead people down the wrong path, Hercule was _there_ to turn them
around.”

JP:  “Who?”

[Daedalus:  “Why can’t people just leave me alone to do my work?”
H:  “Because what we do-- whatever it is-- affects everyone
around us.  Is this how you want to honor Icarus’ memory?  By
building weapons of destruction.”]  [Warlord:  “I don’t care what
Hercules thinks.  But your next machine-- better not fail.”
Daedalus:  “Oh, no-- there won’t be a next one.  I’m going to
dismantle it right now!”]

Fran:  “Hercule’s friend, Daedalus, had invented the Megalith for
peaceful purposes.  But the evil oppressor turned it into a
weapon of mass destruction.”

[Daedalus:  “No, noooo!”  Woman:  “You leave him alone!”  H:
“Let’s see what this silly nutty thing can do.”  Warlord:  “Time
to fry, big man.”]

Fran:  “C’est magnifique.”

Rob:  “Oui.”

LM:  “Is the heat of heroism starting to burn within you,
Robert?”

Rob:  “Oui.”

LM:  “Is it-- hot, or is it just me?”

JP:  “It’s very hot.”

Rob:  “It is hot.”

Man:  “Madame-- you dropped your, ah-- .”

LM:  “Stop it!”

Rob:  “Huh?”

Man:  “You dropped this.”

LM:  “Ah.”

Rob:  “Oh.”

JP:  “Allez!  Up!”

LM:  “They’re after you!”

Fran:  “They’re after me?!”

JP and Rob:  “They’re after us!”

Rob:  “Just for the halibut!”

Croissant:  “Catch of the day-- crepe-- recently fresh--hmm?  Oh,
la-la.”

LM:  “Ohhh!  Ohh!  What was in these barrels?”

Fran:  “You _don’t_ want to know.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------

[ACT II]

Ger:  “Sacre’ bleu.  But, of course.  This was dropped by the
Chartreuse Fox during the attack on the armory.  I have my proof.
Prepare the men.”

Sold:  “Oui, mon Capitain.”

Ger:  “Now-- we shall see who is sly, my dear Fox.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------

Fran:  “All right, begin.  Hercule inspires the comon man.  They
could not be gods; but they could be heroes.  And so can you.”

JP:  “Wait!  I agree!  D’accord!  I’m an hero!  You’re an hero!
You can be an hero, too!  Now, give us the money you promised.”

Rob:  “Oui.”

LM:  “Oh!  And if he gives it to you, how long will it least,
huh?  A month?  A week?”

Rob:  “Who cares?  It’s now that is important, non?”

JP:  “Oui!”

Fran:  “She’s right, mon ami.  The money will be gone-- and you
will still be poor.”

JP:  “Oui!  But I will be _rich_-- for a while!”

Fran:  “Oh, Jean Pierre-- you’re silly, confused, deluded!  You
don’t know that greed for material can lead to a wealth of
trouble!  But Hercule, he did!”

[Auto:  “Well, this place certainly has a lot of, uh--
character.”]

Fran:  “Hercule’s friend, the self-professed King of Thieves,
could hardly believe his eyes.”

[Auto:  “Oh-- the fates have been kind.  I’ve died and gone to
Olympus.  Will you look at all this!”  H:  “Keep your voice
down.”  Auto:  “Why, you and I could clean out this whole place
in a couple of days, Hercules.”  H:  “Would you desert a castle
and leave all this behind?”  Auto:  “What are you getting at?”
H:  “Whatever drove these people away-- did it in a hurry-- and
it’s still here.”  Auto:  “Don’t be ridiculous.  Nothing’s lived
in here for centuries.  Hah-hah.  Maybe-- ‘ridiculous’ wasn’t the
right word.”  H:  “Back up slowly.”]

Fran:  “Autolycus’ greed had led them into the lair of the
serpent.  And, again, Hercule faced impossible odds!”

[Auto:  “Ooh!  If it doesn’t eat us, it’ll kill us with its
breath.  Ooh!  Ooh!  Ooh!  Oooh!  Oooh, boy!  You are good!  I
think we scared it.”]

Fran:  “Vanquishing a never-ending parade of monsters was all in
a day’s work for our hero.”

[Sal:  “Wow!”  H:  “Don’t go anywhere.”]

Rob:  “Those are just stories.  We-- live in the real world.  If
you are born poor, you die poor.”

LM:  “It does not have to be that way.”

JP:  “Why do you care if we are more or less miserable?”

LM:  “You’re right.  Before I heard of the Chartreuse Fox, I did
not care.  Now I will give all that I have to bring freedom to
the people of France.”

JP:  “Even if he did exist, all you have given us so far is
words.”

LM:  “Is money all that has meaning to you?  I will prove that I
care about the Revolution.  If proof is money-- then you shall
have it.”

JP:  “She’s getting something.”

Fran:  “What is it?  Gold?  Money?”

JP:  “Something in a bag-- I cannot tell.”

Rob:  “Well-- I guess we did it-- non?”

Fran:  “It was-- brilliant-- even Herculean, huh?  She’s
completely convinced I am the Chartreuse Fox!”

JP:  “C’est magnifique!”

Fran:  “Hah-hah!”

JP:  “This is the greatest moment of our despiccable, criminal
careers!”

Rob:  “Oui!  To us!”

JP:  “To us!”

-----------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------

[ACT III]

Fran:  “Oh, la-la-la.  She completely believes that-- [sings] I
am the Chartreuse Fox [laughs].  All I need is one more tale of
heroism.  You two swear allegiance to the Revolution and to me.
Lady Marie gives us her very last _franc_ for the Revolution.”

JP:  “Then, we hide it with the rest of our stash-- and
disappear!  Aw, Robert-- I have to salute you.  This scheme of
yours-- it is magnifique!”

Claude:  “Allez!”

Rob:  “Here she comes.”

Fran:  “Oh.  Very good, mes amis.  Prepare for the coup de
grace.”
  
Rob:  “Hmm.  Francois?”

Fran:  “What ‘Hmm’?  This is no time for, ‘Hmm, Francois’.”

Rob:  “I was-- thinking about Hercule-- and the Greek
philosopher-- ” 

JP and Fran:  “Oh-- ”

Fran:  “-- no.”

JP:  “Brother.”

Rob:  “Aristotle said, ‘Plato is dear to me, but dearer is the
truth.’”

JP:  “Meaning-- ?”

Rob:  “Maybe, what we are doing is wrong.”

JP:  “Uh!”

Fran:  “No, no, no!  Nobody gets hurt, but the _rich_.”

Rob:  “I don’t know.  It _just_ does not feel right.”

JP:  “Robert-- do not _blow_ this for us.”

LM:  “I have returned-- with a token of my sincerity.  This
brooch has been in my family for-- oh-- centuries.”

Rob:  “You, uh-- have nothing to prove.”

LM:  “Ah-ah-- but I do-- for myself.  This will help bring relief
to those who suffer at the hands of the aristrocracy.”

Fran:  “This certainly will ease our pa-- their pain.”

JP:  “My pain!”

Fran:  “No, my filthy friend!  You must make decision!  Are you
going to return to a life of crime, or are you going to join
forces with the Chartreuse Fox and the Revolution?!”

JP:  “Well, now, let us think.  Either, we take your money, and
go on with our lives, or-- we join forces with a fictitious hero
against an unbeatable foe.  Uh!”

Rob:  “That is a tough one, OK?”

Fran:  “Hercule have [sic] a tough decision, too.  [?] sacrifice
all that makes him invincible-- to devote himself to the one he
loved-- Serena, the last of the golden hinds.”

Rob and JP:  “Who?”

Fran:  “Serena was half woman and half deer-- a product of two
worlds, yet, not fully of one-- much like Hercule.  And he lost
his heart to her.”

[H:  “That is still a miracle to see.”  Serena:  “When you’re the
last of your kind, sometimes a little miracle helps to survive.”
H:  “Um-- I’ve-- come to ask you-- to marry me.”]  [Ares:  “To
allow this marriage to take place, the gods have decided that
you-- must make a small sacrifice.  They want you to surrender
your strength-- your power.”  H:  “It wouldn’t stop me from
helping people.  You can’t take my heart.”  Ares:  “Oh, that is a
pity.  But I suspect your fervor to aid mankind might diminish
once reality sets in.  So!  What’s it to be?!  You lose her?  You
lose your powers?  This is a limited-time offer.  You need to
choose now.”  H:  “I choose Serena.”  Ares:  “I win.”  H:  “No!
I win!”  Ares:  “Oooh-- nothing like a brotherly embrace.”  H:
[Screams]  Ares:  [Laughs]]  [H:  “We ask the force-- that
created the sun, the earth-- ”  Serena:  “-- to bless this
union-- make us one-- inseparate-- always.”  H:  “Always.”]

Fran:  “True heroism comes, not from power, but from a man’s
heart and courage.”

Rob:  “I will join the Chartreuse Fox.”

Fran:  “Vive la Revolution!  For liberte’!  Egalite’!
Fraternite’!”

Rob:  “No.  For-- the lady.”

JP:  “I would have said it first, but he beat me to it.”

LM:  “Well, Francois, you won your bet.”

JP and Rob:  “Bet?!”

LM:  “We-- wagered-- that you could find the hero within you
both.  He did.”

Fran:  [Clears throat]

LM:  “To you both-- I present your champion:  patriot,
revolutionnaire, and a really nice man-- “

Fran:  “Oh.”

LM:  “The Chartreuse Fox!”

JP:  “You?!”

Fran:  “Oui-- I am the Fox.”

Rob:  “I _told_ you he was real, huh?!”

Fran:  “Very good!  Put me down!  Thank you!  Merci!  Ho-ho!  All
right!  Now, that we are one, we must _find_ a way to _finance_
the Revolution.  To free all of France will be expensive.”

LM:  “My driver-- is on his way with my family fortune.  I will
give it all to you.”

Fran:  “Yes.”

Rob:  “It’s too much; you must not.”

Fran:  “Your generosity will be remembered by those who
_struggle_ for freedom.”

LM:  “Hmm-hmm-- it will be our Honeymoon.”

[Rob, JP, and Fran whisper among themselves.]

LM:  “Oooh, mon Dieu-- it is the soldiers.  You have been
discovered.  Hurry!  Inside the trunk!  Shh!  Be quiet until
they’ve gone.”

JP:  “Ow!  Would you _move_ your knee?!”

Rob:  “I can’t.  There’s a sword in my back-- at least, I hope
it’s a sword.”

Fran:  “Be quiet!  Keep still!  Someone is coming.”

LM:  “I told you!  There’s nobody here!  You must be mistaken
[?].  Please!  You are making a terrible mistake!”

JP:  “Did they go?”

Rob:  “I think so.  Oh, no.  I think the lid is stuck.”

JP:  “Oh!  Marie!”

Fran:  “A little help!  S’il vous plait.”

JP:  “Where-- is Marie?!”

Rob:  “Where are the soldiers?”

Fran:  “Where is our loot?!”

JP:  “She has _tricked_ us!”

Rob:  “Wait.  Ahh.  Outfoxed-- by the fox.”

Fran:  “What do you mean?!”

Rob:  “This.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------

[ACT IV]

LM:  [Laughs]

Ger:  “Seize it!”

-----------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------

Ger:  “Halt!  Please to step outside, Mademoiselle.  Lady
Duvall.”

LM:  “Capitain Gerard.”

Ger:  “We meet again.”

LM:  “What is it, this time?”

Ger:  “I believe-- you dropped this-- at the armory two nights
ago.”

LM:  “Claude!”

Ger:  “In the name of the king, I place you under arrest!”

LM:  “What is the charge?”

Ger:  “The charge, my Dear Fox-- is treason!”

-----------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------

Fran:  “Oh, this is just great.  Now, I never get my money back.”

JP:  “Your money?”

Fran:  “Our-- I meant to say our money-- our-- ”

JP:  “Well-- don’t forget that.  Come on; let’s go.”

Fran:  “I’m right behind you.”

Rob:  “You are going to abandon her?”

Fran:  “Uh-- yeah.”

J:  “Right.”

Fran:  “That’s what we’re going to do.  Yes, that’s right.”

Rob:  “Perhaps, I’m nothing but a [douce-- ne’ Cardigan?] of
life-- but there comes a time-- when one must do the right
thing.”

JP:  “Like what?”

Rob:  “Like saving her.”

Fran:  “Oh, I knew it.  He is in love.”

Rob:  “It is not that.  It is what she stands for.  She has
fought for the rights of the oppressed-- for people like us.”

Fran:  “She’s surrounded by guards.”

Rob:  “Ah-- and what would Hercule do in a situation like this,
huh?

JP:  “Hercule-- that is it!  He has gone out of his mind!”

Fran:  “Oh, poor Robert-- the stress, the heat.  He has, how you
say?  Freaked out!”

-----------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------

Ger:  “The Chartreuse Fox, Lady Marie Duvall, has been found
guilty of treason.  The penalty-- is death.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------

Fran:  “We should go down there immediatement, and commit
suicide.”

JP:  “Oui-- d’accord.  We should take on the entire army for that
blue-blooded woman, who has just stolen our last franc-- you
bet.”

Rob:  “It is the only way-- to get our money back.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------

Ger:  “Any last words?”

LM:  “Vive La France.  Vive La Revolution!”

-----------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------

Fran:  “Perhaps, I wait over there!”

Rob:  “Don’t panic now, Francois.”

Fran:  “This isn’t panic!  I only like fights that are
choreographed!  This is too much the real thing!”

-----------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------

Ger:  “Let this be a warning for all those who would defy the
king!”

-----------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------

JP:  “Ah!  It’s too late!”

-----------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------

JP:  “Hah!  Nice shot!”

Rob:  “Merci.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------

LM:  “Oh.  Merci.”

Ger:  “Seize them!”

-----------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------

[Long fight scene ensues throughout]

Rob:  “Jean Pierre!”

JP:  “Merci!  Deja vu?”

Rob:  “It does seem familiar.”

JP:  “Alors! (sp?)”

Rob:  “Bonjour.”

LM:  “Oh.  Salud.”

Rob:  “You need help, monsieur.  Hah-hah.  I was kidding.”

Fran:  “C’est la mer.  [Screams]  Oh, I don’t like this.  Ah, pas
mal.”

Fran:  “Oh-oh!  Alouette, gentile alouette.  Alouette, je te
plumerai (sp throughout).  Oh!  That hurt so much!”

LM:  “Robert!”

Ger:  “Au revoir, Fox.”

Rob:  “No!  Is like Hercules, no?”

LM:  “Oui.”

Ger:  “Two heads for the price of one.”

Rob:  “I’m back.”

LM:  “Merci.”

Rob:  “But of course, Mademoiselle.”

Sold:  “There they are!”

Rob:  “Uh-oh.”

Ger:  “I will enjoy this, my Dear Fox.”

LM:  “Only if you enjoy defeat, Gerard.”

Fran:  “Ohhh!  Look!  A franc!  Thank you, my friends.”

Rob:  “My pleasure.”

JP:  “Shall we, uh-- help her?”

Rob:  “No-- It is her fight, now.”

Fran:  “That’s true.”

JP:  “OK.”

Rob:  “Good, non?”

LM:  “Capitain!”

Ger:  “Oh!  Not the face!  Please-- make it quick.”

LM:  “No-- I will do even better.  Your shame will be to live--
and to spread the message-- that the Chartreuse Fox will fight
for the people-- as long as there is injustice in France.”

Rob:  “Pardon.”

Fran:  “But, of course.”

Rob:  “Oooh.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------

Fran:  “Merci.  Merci, beaucoups.  Isn’t that nice?  Well, not
really, but-- ”

LM:  “I-- didn’t get a chance to thank you.”

Fran:  “If you want to thank us-- give us back our money.”

LM:  “Oh!  No, no-- no.  Francois, it is the people’s money, now.
Ah, but don’t worry, we’ll survive.”

Rob:  “We?”

LM:  “You are coming with me, are you not?”

Rob:  “Try and-- stop us.”

LM:  “Ah!  Jean Pierre!”

Rob:  “Well!  One for all, and all for Marie-- huh?  Francois?”

JP and LM:  “Francois.”

LM:  “Hey, come here.  Come here.  Francois.”

JP:  “So-- what are we going to call ourselves?”

Rob:  “What about, uh-- robber hoods?  We rob back from the rich
and give to the poor-- huh?”

Fran:  “It is too English.”

JP:  “Oh!  I know!  Hey, uh!  How about-- the powerful rangers?!”

Fran:  “No.  Aw-- this is it!  This is it!  Now!  Imagine a
banner-- our portraits shown in profile-- gothic block letters
across the top.  And it say?!  The four muskrats!  Muskrats!
What?!  Why?!  What?!  What?!  Why?! It’s cute!  It’s cute like a
fox!  It’s furry!  It’s friendly!  What’s the di-- ?”  You’re
kidding about the money, right?  It’s a joke.  You’re going to
give us our money back, aren’t you?”




Click here to return to the HTLJ LES CONTEMPTIBLES page.



Episode
Guide Table of ContentsBack to Whoosh!