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“Medea Culpa” Episode 70/411 [TEASER] I: “Oh-h-h-h-- this is the life, huh?” Jason [Ja]: “You said it. I missed you guys.” H: “Hmm. We should take trips like this more often.” I: “Yeah. No fighting warlords-- no slaying monsters.” H: “No dinner if we don’t catch something pretty soon.” [They laugh.] Ja: “Whoa! Looks like dinner’s on me.” H: “Don’t be-- so sure about that.” Ja: “I’m sorry, Hercules. This river’s not big enough for both of us.” H: “Oh, yeah?” I: “OK. The one who catches the biggest fish-- doesn’t have to cook. Ah-ho-o-o-o-o!” Ja: “All right!” I: “Come on, Jason! Come on, here it comes.” Ja: “Yeah! Oh-h-h! Ah-ho-o-o-o! Would you look at that?! Drop your line. You don’t have a chance!” [Laughs] H: “Uh-huh-- oop-oop!” I: “Whoa! Holy mackerel! Huh! We can eat for week! Whoa! Whoa! Oh! Oh.” H: “I’ll, uh-- take mine extra crispy, please.” Ja: “Why do I bother?” H: “No idea.” [Chuckles] I: “Yeah-- a little competition never hurt anybody.” Ja: “Hmm.” H: “I remember a time when it almost did.” Ja: “Medea.” I: “Aw, come on guys-- we were just kids!” Ja: “Yeah, right-- lucky kids.” H: “Lucky we were together.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Jeeves: “Your Highness-- presenting Hercules and Iolaus.” Young I [Y I]: “Thank you, Jeeves.” Young Ja [Y Ja]: “Ah, yes-- yes, good-- my court jester and my chef. Hercules, I’ll be lunching in the west wing. And you-- why aren’t you wearing your tights?” Y I: “Listen to this guy. He’s king for a season-- he thinks he owns this place.” Young H [Y H]: “He does.” Y Ja: “I do.” Y I: “Well, sounds to me like you could use a good kick in the royal highness.” Y Ja: “You and what army?” [They laugh.] Y I: “Hey, buddy!” Y Ja: “Hey, Hey! Ah-h-h! It’s great to see you guys! It’s lonely at the top!” Y I: “Oh, yeah-- really-- breakfast in bed-- sponge baths-- I mean, poor guy.” Y Ja: “I spent the entire morning in a council meeting. They want me to impose a curfew for everyone under 18.” Y I: “Oh, so you told them to stuff it, right?” Y Ja: “No, no, I think it’s a good idea.” Y H: “You’re kidding, right?” Y Ja: “No, the council’s right. It can be dangerous after dark.” Y H: “Would you say that if the curfew affected you?” Y I: “Oh, here we go.” Y Ja: “Yes-- I would. What’s your point?” Y H: “My point is-- that I think you’re more interested in going along to _get_ along-- than doing the right thing.” Y I: “Oop-- there it is.” Y Ja: “Are you calling me a bad king?” Y H: “If the crown fits.” Y I: “Gentlemen-- I do believe there’s only one way to settle this.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ [Cheering] Guys: “Move it! Move it!” Girls: “Jason! Jason!” Girl: “What’s going on?” Y I: “Uh, a difference of opinion! The winner of the race-- wins the argument!” Girl: “Oh, I hope Jason wins! He is so cool!” Y Ja: “Who-o-o-o! Ha-ha-ha-ha. Not a chance, Hercules!” Y H: “Come on! Yah!” Y Ja: [Laughs] Y H: “Who do you think you are?! The king?!” Y Ja: “Yah! Yah! I _am_ the king!” Y H: “Give it up, Jason!” Y Ja: “You don’t have a prayer!” Y H’s Voice: “Hah!” Y Ja: “I thought you were the son of Zeus, Hercules!” Y H: “Ah-h-h-h-h! Hah-h-h-h! Hah! Hah! Hah!” Y Ja: “Yah! Yah!” Y H: “Ya feel that, King?! Hah! Yeah!” Y Ja: “Who-o-o-o!” Y H: “Hercules is makin’ a comeback! Who-o-o-o-o!” Y Ja: “Come on! Come on!” Y H: “Faster! Yeah-h-h-h! [Laughs] Ha-ha! I gotcha! [Laughs]” Y Ja: “Yeah! Yeah! Come on! Yeah! Yeah!” “Chloe”: [Screams] Y H: “Are you OK?” “Chloe”: “I think so.” Woman: “Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Girls: “Go, Jason!” “Go!” Man’s Voice: “Jason won!” “Chloe”: “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get in the way.” Y H: “Oh, I know you didn’t. What’s your name?” “Chloe”: “Chloe.” Y H: “Chloe-- where are your parents, Chloe?” “Chloe”: “They’re dead.” Y I: “Herc, what’s up? I had money on you.” Y H: “Not now, Iolaus. What happened?” “Chloe”: “The Ghidra attacked my village. I’m the only one left.” Y I: “What’s a Ghidra?” Y H: “It’s one of Hera’s little pets.” Y I: [Whistles] “Chloe”: “Please don’t make me go back there. Please.” Y H: “It’s OK. You’re safe, now.” “Chloe”: “But it’s still out there.” Y H: “Not for long.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ [ACT I] Y I: “So-- you think you’re gonna kill the Ghidra-- huh? Herc, I thought you were enjoying life. Why do you wanna end it, now.” Y H: “Iolaus, what happened to your sense of adventure?” Y I: “It’s alive and well, thank you-- and I, uh-- prefer to-- keep it that way.” Y Ja: “That was close. You all right? Yeah? Are you sure?” “Chloe”: “Yes.” Y Ja: “Take her to the palce-- make sure she’s all right.” Man’s Voice: “Yah! Yo. Yah, yah!” Y H: “Looks like I’m gonna have to cut my visit short.” Y Ja: “Aw-w-w, don’t be a sore loser-- ya just got here.” Y I: “No, no, no, no-- Hercules fancies himself as a bit of a monster slayer?” Y Ja: “A monster?” Y I: “Yeah-- Ghidra, no less.” Y H: “You know, that girl’s lucky to be alive. Her entire village was wiped out. If I don’t do somethin’, Corinth could be next.” Y Ja: “Well, that settle it. When do we leave?” Y H: “I was hopin’ you’d say that. I wasn’t exactly looking forward to facing this thing by myself.” Y Ja: “Oh-ho, you think I’m gonna let you take all the glory?” [Chuckles] Y I: “What?! All right-- I’m in! All ya had to do was ask. Sheesh.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Y Ja: “So, uh-- where does this Ghidra live, anyway?” Y H: “Mt. Solayas-- it’s all the way across the Arcadian Sea.” Y I: “Hey, guys-- I just thought of something. If we pull this off, we could get famous-- welcome in every town-- free food-- girls asking us to sign their naked flesh-- I could get used to that.” Y H: “Well, leave it to you to find the bright side.” Y Ja: “Actually, Iolaus has a point-- might give you a chance to give your arm a rest.” Y H: “What’s that supposed to mean?” Y I: “Hold on-- Jason-- I think you’re underestimating my best pal, here. Hercules has the strength of twenty men. His arm doesn’t _get_ tired.” Y H: “Oh-- oh, you guys _kill_ me. Listen, I need to brag about all the women _I_ know, like some people do.” Y Ja: “Oh, wait a minute. Do I hear what I think I’m hearin’?” Y H: “An echo in your head?” Y Ja: “You know what you sound like-- ” Y I and Y Ja: “-- a virgin!” Y I: “Oh, well, wait a minute-- Hercules? No way! Are you?” Y H: “Guys-- what difference does it make?” Y Ja: “Well-- I think that if you _weren’t_ a virgin-- you would probably _know_.” Y I and Y Ja [Laugh]: “Whoa!” Y H: “Look-- guys-- I mean, I may be old-fashioned, but-- I want my first time to be special-- I mean, with somebody I care about. Now, is that a problem for either of the two of you?” Y Ja: “No!” Y I: “No problem.” Y Ja: “No. No.” Y I: “This is great.” Y Ja [Interrupts]: “Yeah, it’s respectable.” Y I [Interrupts]: “We need them in the world, you know?” Y Ja [Interrupts]: “It’s classy. I wish I was one.” Y I [Interrupts]: “I’d do it again if I could.” Y Ja: “Yeah.” Y H: “Good.” Y Ja: “Whew-- what are you eatin’?” Y I: “Sh, sh-- wait. It’s a naked woman-- bathing-- naked.” Y H: “How does he know?” Y I: “It’s a gift. Come on.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Y Ja’s Voice: “I thought you said she was naked.” Y I’s Voice: “She is naked-- under her clothes. Maybe she’s lost.” Y Ja’s Voice: “Maybe we should offer our services, huh?” Y H: “Congratulations, Iolaus, you were right. Can we go now?” Y Ja: “We can’t just leave her there.” Y I: “Yeah, this forest might be crawling with perverts.” Y H: “Gee, do ya think?” Y Ja: “We’ll get a better look down there.” Y H: “Guys. Guy-guys.” [Sighs] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Y Ja: “Huh-- she was right here.” Y H: “She must have seen us.” Y Ja: “Here-- gone-- ” Y I: “Where did she go?” Medea [Med]: “She’s right behind you. Let me guess-- you thought I was drowning.” Y H: “Please don’t hurt him.” Med: “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t.” Y H: “Well-- he’s a little misguided, but-- basically harmless.” Y I: “Oh, gee-- thanks.” Med: “You think invading a woman’s privacy is harmless?” Y H: “I didn’t mean that.” Med: “Yeah, what _did_ you mean?” Y H: “That-- we’re three morons who owe _you_ a big apology.” Y I: “Yeah. Miss, if you don’t-- ” Med: “Shut up! What are you boys doing here?” Y Ja: “We’re on our way to Mt. Solayas. We’re gonna kill the Ghidra.” Med: “Yeah, right.” Y I: “No, no. It’s true.” Med: “Shut up! You know, how do you boys expect to kill a monster when you can’t even get past me?” Y I: “She has got a point, guys.” Y Ja and Y H: “Shut up.” Med: “I think I’ll come with you.” Y H: “What, are you kidding?” Med: “Do I look like I’m kidding? Sounds like fun. I got nothin’ better to do. Besides, you boys look like you could use a little help.” Y H: “Tell you what-- take that knife away from my friend’s throat-- it might be easier for us to come up with a decision.” Med: “So-- what do you say?” Y I: “Yeah.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Y H: “By the way-- my name’s Hercules.” Med: “I’m Medea.” Y H: “It’s nice to meet you.” Med: “You seem like a pretty decent guy, Hercules. What are you doing hanging out with those two cow tippers?” Y H: “Well, they’re my friends. Trust them with my life.” Med: “Honest _and_ loyal. Maybe it’s not such a bad thing I ran into you after all.” Y H: “What were you doin’ out here all alone, anyway?” Med: “Please-- don’t start with that ‘The-forest-is-no-place-for-a-woman’ crap or I’ll puke.” Y H: “That’s a pretty big chip on your shoulder.” Med: “Let me guess-- you’re just the guy to take it off.” Y H [Sighs]: “Just makin’ conversation.” Med: “It’s OK. Let’s just say my stepfather and I had slightly different opinions about the way a good daughter should behave-- so I left. What about you? Let me guess-- perfect home life-- you’ve got a dog and a cat-- your mother bakes-- and-- your father takes you fishing.” Y H: “For what it’s worth, I don’t really see eye-to-eye with my father, either. In fact, I’ve never seen him.” Med: “What? Is he like a travelling salesman or something?” Y H: “No, he’s Zeus.” Med: “You mean-- king of the gods.” Y H: “You’ve heard of him?” Med: “Maybe you _do_ have the strength to lift that chip off my shoulder after all.” Y I: “Well, they seem to be hitting it off.” Y Ja: “Yeah, wonderful. I’m stuck back here with you.” Y I: “You know? Hercules is son of a god. You’re king of Corinth. What about me? What do I got?” Y Ja: “You got to have that body pressed up against you.” Y I: “She had a knife to my throat.” Y Ja: “Love hurts.” Woman’s Voice: [Screams] Y Ja: “That sounds like trouble.” Y H: “Let’s go.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ [Fight] Women’s Voices: [Screams] “Don’t hurt my baby!” Man’s Voice: “Out of my way!” Y Ja: “Bandits!” Y I: “Come on. Let’s have some fun!” Med: “Nice throw.” Y H: “I work out.” Med [Sighs]: “My hero.” Villager: “Thank you all.” A Man’s Voice [In Background]: “Are you all right?” Villager: “It’s not bad enough that the Ghidra destroyed our village. Now it’s low-life scums like those-- they have to pick the ruins.” Y Ja: “Ghidra?” Y I: “Here?” Y H: “We better get moving, guys.” Mother [Wails]: “My-- my son!” Man’s Voice: “Oh, no.” Mother: “My boy! That monster crushed our house! Please do something!” [Cries] Y H: “I’m sorry.” Mother: “Oh, no-o-o-o-o-o-o!” Med: “Get out of the way.” Boy: [Coughs] Man’s Voice: “By the gods!” Woman’s Voice: “It’s a miracle!” Man’s Voice: “She’s a healer.” Woman’s Voice: “How did she do it?” Man’s Voice: “I’ve never seen anything like it.” Mother: “Oh-ho! Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!” [Cries] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Y I: “Wow, that was like the coolest thing I’ve ever seen! Man, I wish you’d been around when my dog died.” Y H: “How long have you been able to do that?” Med: “How long have you been juggling grown men?” Y H: “Ha-- I was born with it.” Med: “That makes sense with you being the son of a god and all.” Y Ja: “Hey, uh, did-- did I mention that I’m the king-- of Corinth?” Med: “With me, it’s different. Both my parents are mortal. I have no idea where my powers come from.” Y Ja: “Why do I get the feeling that we’re not part of this conversation?” Y I: “’Cause we’re not?” Y Ja: “Well, then-- let’s-- leave these two gifted people to talk about how wonderful they are. We’re gonna scout ahead-- if that’s all right with you.” Med: “I get the feeling your friend doesn’t like me very much.” Y H: “Ah, Jason? Nah, it’s just his way. He’ll warm up. He usually does for all the girls.” Med: “Seems like a real charmer.” Y H: “Tell you the truth, you’re the first girl to come along who didn’t think so.” Med: “I take that as a compliment.” Y H: “Can I ask you sum’in’?” Med: “Sure.” Y H: “Don’t you think your parents-- miss you?” Med: “My mother, maybe. My stepfather can rot in Tartarus, for all I care. He was jealous of my powers, so he treated me like a freak. Made him feel like a big man to lock me up. Said he had to keep his eye on me-- and that was all when he _wasn’t_ drunk.” Y H: “Didn’t your mother do anything to stop him?” Med: “No-- she was afraid of him. She had good reason to be.” Y H: “Sorry.” Med: “You know what’s weird? Sometimes I wish that I had stayed-- you know? Stand up to him-- tell him what he did was wrong-- instead of running. Maybe it wouldn’t have worked, but at least I would have known I tried.” Y H: “Still can, ya know? If I had a chance to tell Zeus how _I_ feel-- I’d take it.” Med: “I can’t. I’m afraid of my stepfather.” Y H: “You know, sometimes you have to face your fears to move on, Medea-- but you don’t have to face them alone.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Y I: “Hercules! Uh! Long time-- . So-- she the one?” Y H: “It’s not like that.” Y Ja: “Yeah, right.” Y H: “Mt. Solayas is a night’s journey by sea. We need a boat.” Y I: “That’s not a problem. I know a guy.” Y H’s Voice: “Medea and I are gonna take a-- little detour.” Y I: “Oh, a detour, huh?” Y Ja: “Wait a minute. Where are you goin’?” Y H: “She’s just got some things she needs to take care of back home.” Y I: “Whoa-- meeting the parents. You big stud-muffin.” Y Ja: “Yeah, it figures.” Y H: “What’s your problem?” Y Ja: “Well, it was your idea to slay the Ghidra, and now you’re runnin’ off with this girl that you hardly know.” Y H: “It’s not gonna slow us down, Jason. It’s gonna take a while to find your guy, and by the time you’re ready to leave, we’ll be there.” Y Ja: “Fine. Fine-- whatever.” Med: “Ready?” Y Ja: “He’s achin’ for it. Trust me. See ya later.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Med: “-- all right, maybe you could stay for dinner.” Y H: “Well, thank you very much.” Med: “That’s my house. The Ghidra! [Cries] My mother!” Y H: “I’m so sorry.” Med [Crying]: “I’m such a coward! I should have stood up to him when I had the chance.” Y H: “You had no idea this was gonna happen. It’s not your fault.” Med: “Yes it is. I should never have left her. I should have taken care of her.” Y H: “You had to take care of yourself. You did the right thing. If you had been here, you’d have been killed, too.” Med: “Look at me-- I’m crying.” Y H: “You don’t have to be so tough around me.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Y H: “You OK?” Med: “Yeah. [Sighs] No-- I don’t know. I know I’ll feel better when we find that Ghidra and slice it open.” Y H: “You’ll get your chance.” Med: “Thanks, Hercules. Thanks for everything.” Y H: “I didn’t do anything.” Med: “Yes, you did. You gave me the strength to face the truth. And I could tell you really cared. No one has before.” Y H: “Well, to tell you the truth-- I-- was a little afraid of you when we first met.” Med: “The son of Zeus-- afraid of me?” Y H: “Sometimes, I get a little, uh-- tongue-tied-- around women.” Med: “Uh-huh-- we’ll have to see what we can do about that.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Y I: “Ah-h-h! Jason! You know _why_ the boat rocks back and forth?! So you don’t have to! Now, cut it out!” Y Ja: “Excuse me. Am I interrupting your beauty sleep?” Old Sailor: “A-a-a-ah!” Y I: “As a matter of fact, yeah! What is the matter with you?!” Y Ja [Sighs]: “I can’t sleep. Is that a crime?” Y I: “You know? You’ve been no fun this trip. It’s like travelling with a rash. If you’re gonna be like this for the rest of the night, go sleep up on deck.” Y Ja: “I’d love to, but, unfortunately, Mr. _Virtuous_ is up there-- losin’ his virtuosity.” Y I: “Ah, so that’s what this is all about. You’re jealous.” Y Ja: “Ha-- I am _not_ jealous of Hercules.” Y I: “Yes, you are.” Y Ja: “What do I have to be jealous about? I’m the king of Corinth.” Y I: “We’re not _in_ Corinth.” Y Ja: “Look-- I can have any girl in the land.” Y I: “We’re on a _boat_. Look-- Hercules has always had the strength-- you’ve always had the girls. Tonight-- Hercules has the strength _and_ the girl. Need I say more?” Y Ja: “No. No. I’ve heard enough. I’m gonna go sleep in the galley.” Y I: “Fine. Sleep in the galley.” A Sailor: “Hey!” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Y H: “Whoa! Medea.” Med: “What’s wrong?” Y H: “Nothing. Uh-- I just think we’re goin’ a little fast.” Med: “Don’t you like me?” Y H: “Yeah. Yeah, I like you a lot. But we just met this morning.” Med: “So?” Y H: “Y-y-you’ve been through a lot, today. And-- I don’t think that _you’re_ thinking clearly, and [Sighs]-- I feel I’d be takin’ advantage of that.” Med: “Trust me. You’re not.” Y H: “Medea! I’m serious.” Med: “Ah, I feel really stupid.” Y H: “No. No, look-- i-it’s not you. I-it’s me. I don’t think we should be in such a hurry.” Med: “Fine.” Y H: “Medea-- ” Med: “I’m tired. I’m going to sleep.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Y H: “Excuse me, sir? Can you tell us the way to Mt. Solayas?” Wharfmaster: “About half a day’s hike west-- past the river. But I wouldn’t go there if I were you.” Y I: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-- Ghidra. Big and scary. We know. Thank you.” Y Ja: “Listen, why don’t you get us some food for the trip. I’ll fill the goatskins at the river and we’ll meet there.” Med: “Jason, wait up. I’ll come with you.” Man’s Voice [In Background]: “No, that’s all right-- ” Y I: “Whoa, what was that about?” Y H [Sighs]: “I don’t know. I think she’s mad at me.” Y I: “What happened last night?” Y H: “Nothing.” Y I: What do you mean, ‘Nothing’?” Y H: “I mean nothing. Nothing happened. I think that’s why she’s mad at me.” Y I: “Weird. Hey, look-- I know we were teasing you earlier about being a virgin and all-- but if nothing happened last night, ‘cause _you_ didn’t want it to-- then you did the right thing.” Y H: “I know. I just-- I feel like we got-- a good thing goin’ on here. I don’t wanna mess it up.” Y I: “Listen-- buddy-- most guys are pigs-- including me. She’s probably just not used to being around a gentleman. She’ll come around.” Y H: “Hope you’re right.” Y I: “Let’s go get some breakfast.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Med: “Jason, let me ask you something. What’s it like being a king at your age?” Y Ja: “Well, it’s not so bad. I learn as I go, I guess.” Med: “Yeah, but don’t you ever feel-- I don’t know-- out of place? I mean, you’re so young to be cooped up in a castle.” Y Ja: “Yeah, it’s not like I have a choice.” Med: “My point, exactly. I mean, most people your age are out-- having fun, doing crazy things-- falling in love.” Y Ja: “Yeah, like you and Hercules.” Med: “What makes you think Hercules and I are in love?” Y Ja: “Come on-- it’s pretty obvious.” Med: “If that’s what you think-- then ya haven’t been paying close attention. We’re just friends.” Y Ja: “Just friends?” Med: “Yeah.” Y Ja: “You sure?” Med: “Very.” Y H: “Jason! You bastard.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ [ACT III] Y Ja: “Hercules, wait! Hercules, hey! I can explain!” Y H: “Don’t touch me! You sorry excuse for a king!” Y Ja: “You’re gonna regret that.” [Fight] Y I’s Voice: “Guys! Break it up!” Med: “Stop it! Come on!” Y I: “Break it up!” Med: “Don’t!” Y Ja: “Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!” Med: “Who do you think you are?! Oh, come on-- you gonna hit me now, too?!” Y I: “Jason. Jas-- you OK?” Med: “I didn’t make you any promises. If you think you’ve got some kinda claim on me, think again.” Y H: “I don’t know what you think you’re doing here, Medea, but I’ll tell ya what-- I don’t want _anything_ to do with _you_!” Y Ja: “Hercules, I-- I didn’t know.” Y H: “I may be younger than you-- but I’m not stupid. No matter what she told you, you knew. How could you do that to me? And _you_-- ” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Y I: “Where are you going?” Y H: “Go and finish what I’ve started.” Y I: “Hold on. Hold on.” Y H: “Iolaus, there’s nothin’ to talk about.” Y I: “Well, I think there _is_.” Y H: “Well, what do you wanna hear, man? That I’m stupid for thinkin’ I was fallin’ in love with her?” Y I: “No! You took a chance-- you got burned! But that doesn’t make you stupid!” Y H: “I thought Jason was my friend. I can’t believe he did this.” Y I: “Look-- you feel the way you feel. I can’t _blame_ you for it.” Y H: “All right! So, what else do you wanna talk about?” Y I: “OK-- OK-- I’m gonna tell you something-- and you’re not gonna like it. Sometimes, it’s hard to be your friend.” Y H: “What?” Y I: “Look, I’m no oracle. There are a lot of things I don’t understand. But from the first day I met you-- I just _knew_ that you were destined for something the rest of us could only dream about! People like me-- and Jason-- normal people-- we’ll be lucky if our names are even mentioned in the same _breath_ as yours. And that is not always easy to live with.” Y H: “Why are you defending him? If you’re gonna tell me that jealousy makes people do stupid things, you can forget it-- ‘cause that’s no excuse.” Y I: “No, it’s not-- ” Y H: “Well, if I’m just so hard to be around, why don’t you just leave?” Y I: “’Cause I’m a better person for _knowing_ you. Hey, I used to be a thief! Remember? And yeah, Jason made a mistake-- a big one! But if you could just give him _half_ a chance-- you might be a better person for it, too.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Y Ja: “I am so stupid!” Med: “It’s my fault, Jason. I-- I lied to you. Things weren’t working out with Hercules and I didn’t know how to let him down. I should never have kissed you.” Y Ja: “No, we’re both to blame. Hercules and I have been friends for a long time. He was right. I knew how he felt about you. I can’t let him fight the Ghidra alone.” Med: “Wait. You’re the last person he wants to see right now. Besides, we both know he can handle it. You’re hurt. I can heal that.” Y Ja [Interrupts]: “No. Don’t-- please.” Med: “At least, let me make a poultice. It’s a really deep cut.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Hera’s Voice: “Boys will be boys.” Med: “Hera. Hera: “Especially when a pretty face comes along.” Med: “Killing my mother was never a part of our agreement.” Hera: “Our agreement is whatever I _say_ it is! And I did that for you. Your mother turned a blind eye, while your stepfather robbed you of your innocence. She deserved to die-- as much as he did.” Med: “I hated her for letting it happen. But I never wanted her to die. I loved her.” Hera: “Never mind that. I’m the only one who can help you-- who can give you the power you want-- _true_ power-- to destroy any man who wrongs you.” Med: “I did what you commanded. I split Jason and Hercules apart.” Hera: “But Jason still wants to help his friends! Only together can they stop the Ghidra! You must keep him here-- until Hercules is dead! Then you will have your reward!” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Y H: “This looks like the place.” Y I: “Are you sure?” Y H: “Only one way to find out.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Y H: “Yep-- this is it.” Y I: “I think I know that guy. Oop.” Y H: “Hey.” Y I: “Maybe it’s full.” Y H: “Let’s hope it doesn’t snack between meals.” Y I: “You, uh-- you ever killed a monster before?” Y H: “Yeah. The snake, remember? Ares’ cavern?” Y I: “Maybe you should go first.” Y H: “What, are you scared?” Y I: “No. Yeah.” Y H: “Me, too.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Y Ja: “I can’t do this.” Med: “What are you talking about?” Y Ja: “I-I feel like I’m running away. And if I don’t go back, I won’t be able to live with myself.” Med: “Jason, don’t! You can’t! He doesn’t want your help!” Y Ja: “He’s my friend.” Hera: “Kill him, Medea! It’s the only way.” Med: “I can’t.” Y Ja: “What’s goin’ on?” Hera: “Kill him now-- or I will.” Med: “It’s Hera. Jason, run!” Hera: “You stupid, stupid girl! I could have given you _real_ power! Let me show you what you’re missing!” Y Ja: [Screams] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ [ACT IV] Y I: “So, where is it?” Y H: “How should I know?” Y I: “Maybe we should have made an appointment. You didn’t tell me it has two heads.” Y H: “It slipped my mind.” Y I: “Anything else you forgot to mention?” Y H: “Yeah. The stinger on that tail-- it’s instant death.” Y I: “Anything else?” Y H: “Yeah. It breathes fire, too. Duck!” Y I: “Anything else?” Y H: “No, that’s about it.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Y Ja [Sighs]: “What happened?” Med: “You’re all right, now.” Y Ja: “I don’t understand.” Med: “Come on. I’ll explain on the way. Your friends need you.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Y H: “You ready?” Y I: “No.” Y H: “Yes, you are. We gotta work together here.” [Fight] Y I [Yells]: “It’s gonna blow!” Y H: “That’s one tough Ghidra.” Y I: “Yeah, tell me about it. Whoo. Whoa!” Y H: “I think I made it angry.” Y I: “Ah, you didn’t tell me it could do that.” Y H: “I didn’t _know_ it could do that.” Y Ja: “Ah-h-h-h!” Y H: “What are you doing here?” Y Ja: “I came to help.” Y H: “Why should I believe you?” Y I: “I believe we could _use_ the help? See what I mean?! Whoa!” YH: “OK-- you take the _right_ head. You take the _left_ head. I’m goin’ up through the middle.” Y Ja: “Right.” Y H: “Ready? Break!” Y I: “Hey!” Y H: “The tail! Get the tail!” Y I: “This is getting personal.” Y Ja: “Who-o-o-o-oa!” Y H: “I think it’s going very well.” Y I: “We’re gaining on him.” Y H: “Jason. Stick the tail! Jason! Get it in the gut!” Y I: “Yes! Yeah! Ooh! We bad! Ooh!” Y H: “Yeah, you bad, all right.” Med: “I know I hurt you, Hercules. You’re the first guy I ever trusted. You’re decent. I just didn’t realize that until it was too late.” Y H: “Is that why you came back? To tell me you were sorry?” Med: “No, I came back because I care about you. And if you still feel anything at all for me-- try to forgive me.” Y Ja: “She’s tellin’ the truth, Hercules. Hera used Medea to turn us against each other.” Y H: “Hera.” Hera: “Come now, Hercules! Did you think I would tolerate my husband’s infidelity lightly?!” Y H: “That’s between you and Zeus.” Hera: “No! _You’re_ between us! But if you die a horrible death-- maybe he’ll think _twice_ next time before his eyes start to wander! Before he fathers any more _half-mortal_ mongrels like you! And you, my poor girl-- I had _such_ high hopes for you-- but you shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep! That’s a lesson _I’ll_ have to teach you!” Y H: “Stay away from her!” Med: “There’s nothing you can do.” Y H: “No.” Med: “I’m sorry.” Y H: “Medea! [Echoes]” Hera’s Voice [Laughs]: “I’ll be seeing you, Hercules.” Y H: “You can count on it.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Y Ja: “Hercules.” Y I: “Oh. I’ll just-- be over there.” Y Ja: “I’m sorry. She was-- ” Y H: “Yeah. I wanna thank you?” Y Ja: “Thank me?” Y H: “For coming back. I couldn’t have done it without you.” Y Ja: “Does this mean we’re still friends?” Y H: “Even better than before. You comin’?” Y Ja: “Right behind you.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ja: “When did you _really_ forgive me?” H: “Last week.” [They laugh.] I: “Yeah. Well, I wasn’t sure you guys would get over that.” Ja: “I guess we were both-- victims of Hera’s vengeance.” H: “No, I think-- Medea was the real victim. But her wounds ran so deep-- that we all felt them.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Click here to return to the HTLJ MEDEA CULPA page.
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