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“Armageddon Now, II” Episode 73/414 [TEASER] [Narrator: “Last time on Hercules-- the daughter of darkness freed Callisto.” Hope: “Your biggest challenge is ahead.” Callisto [Cal]: “And what would that be?” Hope: “To rid the world-- of its greatest hero-- Hercules.” Ares: “Noooo!” Narrator: “Callisto and Ares teamed up to free the Sovereign.” Ares: “Hind’s blood is nasty stuff.” Strife: “Ha-ha-ha-ha! It’s the only thing that will kill a god, and the god who has it-- is top gun!” [Laughs] Narrator: “Then-- the unthinkable happened-- the death of a god.” Strife: “Let me be the first-- to welcome you to the club.” Cal: “I wouldn’t wanna be in a club-- that would have me for a member.” Narrator: “While Hercules and the Sovereign were trapped between worlds-- ” Sovereign [Sov]: “Get used to it-- it‘s torture. We can see the outside world, but we can’t get back to it.” Narrator: “-- Hope sent Callisto back in time.” I: “She’s gone to kill Hercules’ mother.” Ares: “Noo! You can follow Callisto wherever she goes, but _only_-- where she goes. And you can come back to the present, but that’s it.” Narrator: “And now-- the conclusion.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Young Alcmene [Y Alcmene]: “Who are you?! What do you want?! I: “I-I’ll tell you in a moment. We-- we gotta get outta here. Come on, it’s dangerous. What are you doing? Come on, I told you, I’m a friend.” Y Alcmene: “I’m not going anywhere with you.” I: “But, wait! You don’t understand!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- H: “Callisto.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Y Alcmene: “Hello? Can I help you?” Cal: “Yes.” I [Grunts]: “Alcmene, down!” Y Alcmene: “Uh!” Cal: “Iolaus-- surprise, surprise.” I: “Come on! Run as fast as you can! Get going!” Cal: “Go on-- run!” I: “Come on! Pick it up!” Cal: “Run as fast as you can.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Y Alcmene: “Who are you?! Why is that thing after you?!” I: “Huh! You! Not me! Huh!” Y Alcmene: “Well, I don’t know either one of you!” I: “Look! I can’t explain it to you, if we’re both on fire! Come on! Trust me-- I’m here to protect you! Ahh!” Cal: “Alcmene, how’s the baby? Let me feel him kick.” Y Alcmene: [Screams] I: [Attacks Cal] Cal: [Screams, then laughs on ground] I: “See? You don’t know her-- but she knows you. And it’s you she’s after! Come on!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- H: “Come on. Come on! Run, Iolaus, run! Why don’t you grow up?” Sov: “Aw, shut up! H: “I know your world-- is the opposite of mine. Every person in my world has a counterpart in yours.” Sov: “I said-- shut up!” H: “Take us, for example. You hate, and I don’t. Why is that? You see, we’ve got these two worlds. And this place we’re in here, is smack-dab in the middle. Now, if we can understand each other-- you know, where we’re from-- maybe we can figure out what makes this place tick.” Sov: “Am I gonna have to listen to this for-- eternity?” H: “Well, I was hoping to get us out of here before then.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Y Alcmene: “No! This is all too strange! I can’t deal with it. I’m going home.” I: “No! Wait! You can’t. If you do, you’ll die-- and so will the child inside you.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- [ACT I] Y Alcmene: “What is it?” I: “No!” Y Alcmene: “Ahh!” I: “Come on!” Cal: “Why are you people so afraid to die?” I: “Down! Ahh!” Cal: “Give it up, Iolaus! You _can’t_ save her.” Y Alcmene: “She _is_ after me.” I: “Yeah. Isn’t there a water tower around here?” Y: “That way.” I: “Come on.” Cal: “Ooh! I love a good chase.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- H: “Hurry, Iolaus-- get to the water tower.” Sov: “Hmm-- I could use _this_ Callisto. We could do some damage.” H: “Don’t you get it?! If Callisto kills my mother-- your mother in your world will die at the same time, neither of us will ever be born.” Sov: “Which means-- I won’t be stuck in here with you. I’ll take it. [Laughs] Wait a minute. You must have had a family just like I did.” H: “I did. Hera killed them.” Sov: “So she kills your family-- for something you did! And when _yours_ died-- mine did-- !” H: “I’m sorry that happened. I’m sure you loved your family very much.” Sov: “You’re to blame for everything that’s happened to me. You can forget about getting out of here. You’re mine.” H: “I’m not responsible for what happened to you or your family, or what you became. You’re not a victim! You are who you choose to be. We all are.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Cal: [Sniffs] “I can _smell_ you. Ah! And there you are. All right, then, where is she? I’m tired of waiting.” I: “You’re gonna have to go through me.” Cal: “OK. Ahh! Noo! Ahhh!” I: “I thought I told you to stay under cover.” Y Alcmene: “I was afraid for you.” I: “Now I know where Hercules gets his stubborn streak-- come on.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Sov: “She’s dead by now. Your turn.” [They fight throughout.] H: “I _can’t_ get the window to open if I have to keep watching out for you.” Sov: “Tell someone who cares! So she dies! So what?!” H: “So-- everything-- changes! How many times do I have to tell you-- if she dies-- we die.” Sov: “What’s the downside?” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Y Alcmene: “Why would Callisto want to kill my baby?” I: “Alcmene-- your baby-- your son-- Hercules-- he’ll be a hero. He’ll-- fight-- injustice-- and oppresion, helping people in need. He’ll be the most famous hero in history.” Y Alcmene: “How can a son of mine be a hero. He’ll grow up with no father.” I: “The man-- you thought was his father-- was Zeus. Your son is the son of the king of the gods.” Y Alcmene: “Why are you telling me things like this? Impossible things-- why?” I: “Because they’re true.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Cal: [Dries herself off, then sighs] ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- I: “The barn!” Y Alcmene: “Will we be safe here?” I: “No, there’s no safety anywhere, as long as Callisto knows you’re alive. I’ve gotta stop her.” Y Alcmene: “Well, how? She’s a goddess.” I: “She has a pendant. It looks like jewelry-- but it contains the blood a golden hind.” YAlcmene: “I thought that was only a myth.” I: “Oh, no, it’s real, all right. And hind’s blood can kill a god. I know, I’ve seen it. If I can get that-- we win. If I can’t-- ” Y Alcmene: “You’re willing to risk your life? For me and my baby?” I: “He’d do the same for me-- he has, many times. I’d gladly die so that you and your boy could live. I am who I am-- because of him. I am one of the people whose lives he changed-- one of the many. And I love him like a brother.” Y Alcmene: “I was hoping for a girl.” [They chuckle.] Y Alcmene: “With a frienship like yours-- my son must be very special. He has a lot to live for-- and so do I.” I: “I can’t imagine a world without him.” Y Alcmene: “Be careful, Iolaus.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- I: “Hey! Cupcake! Hi. Uh-- look-- I was wondering-- could we talk? I mean-- what would it take for you to-- you know-- ease up-- uh-- forget about Alcmene? Because the thing is [giggles]-- I grew up around here. I mean-- I’m in the same boat as Hercules! You torch all of this-- you could kill me! Yah!” Cal: “I do _not_ have time for this!” I: “OK, Callisto-- come and get it!” [Ah!] Cal: “Mine!” I: “Ah! Why-- uh? What does it matter to you-- if Hercules lives or dies?” Cal: “It doesn’t-- but I made a deal, and if I don’t deliver-- I don’t get paid. Now-- where is she?” I: “Ha-- you’ve gotta be kidding.” Cal: “Hmm-- that’s all right-- ‘cause I already know.” I: “Alcmene! Run! Run! Get out of there!” Cal: “You think I can hit it from here?” Y Alcmene: [Screams] I: “Nooooooooo!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- [ACT II] H: “Ohh.” Sov: “Ohh.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- I: “I’m sorry I failed you, Alcmene. Now the world will never know Hercules. And I’ve lost the best friend I-- ” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- H: “Mother?” Sov: “Hmm.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- I: “This will not go unanswered. I will find you, Callisto! [Echoes three more times] ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Sov: “Mom’s dead. Hmm. Oh. You’re not gonna-- cry-- are ya?” H: “You have no idea! Our mothers are both-- dead-- which means we can’t leave here now-- because out there, we don’t exist. All of history has been changed.” Sov: “Well, your history is just starting, hero. And I promise you-- it will be one of pain. [Chuckles] Hmm. Poor Mommy.” H: “Unless I can reach Iolaus.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- [Villagers talk among themselves.] I: “Hey! Where am I?” Man: “You’re in the wrong place. This is Cirra.” I: “Cirra-- Callisto’s town. What’s going on?” Man: “Xena what’s going on, Mister. Already laid waste to half the countryside. Now she’s headed for us.” I: “So I’m still in the past. Xena destroyed Cirra. And Callisto’s come back to stop that. That was her price for Alcmene.” Man: “What are you muttering about?! You better get outta here, before you get grabbed up by Xena’s men.” I: “Listen, I have to find someone, Callisto.” Man: “There’s only one Callisto here-- Pankos and Arleia’s kid.” I: “How do I find her?” Man: “In this?! Hah! Fat chance!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- [Villagers Moaning] Warrior [Cretus?]: “Hi, beautiful. You won’t be needing this.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Warrior [Cretus?]: “Get in there. Move along.” King: “I come to pay tribute. Take it. And save yourself the time and trouble of coming to my pitiful country to sack and pillage.” X: “Oh, no trouble. So good of you to come. You’ll have to work on your grovelling.” Ares: “These mortals offer no opposition. They have no spine.” Warrior [Cretus?]: “Get up!” Ares: “You’d think they’d just get tired of it-- a champion would come forward.” X: “That would make it more interesting. Of course, I’d only have to kill him or her.” King: “Please-- consider my offer-- Princess Xena.” X: “I think I will. What is it?” King: “A rare jewel-- unlike any other-- possessing a strange power.” X: “What does it do?” King: “That wasn’t revealed to me. But spare us, and it’s yours.” X: “It already _is_.” King: “Then I may return to my kingdom?” X: “Yes and no. Send his body back to his kingdom. Stick his head out there with the others.” Warrior [Cretus?]: OK, let’s go.” King: “But-- ” Warrior [Cretus?]: “You’ll hardly feel a thing.” X: “I _hate_ uninvited guests.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- X’s Voice: “I’ll lead the frontal assault. Go, Darphus-- sound the signal to attack. Anyone who raises a sword against us-- dies.” H: “The Chronos stone.” [Smiles] ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Arleia: “Callisto! Callisto!” Cal: “Mama.” Arleia: “Stay close to me. I don’t wanna lose you.” Woman’s Voice: “Hurry!” Cal: “Move.” Warrior: “Looks like we’ve already been at work.” I: “Uh-- I need that.” Warrior: “Uh-uh-- maybe later. You look like a guy who can take care of himself. How would you like to join Xena’s army?” I: “Do I have a choice?” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Pankos: “There you are ! I’ve been worried sick!” Cal: “Daddy.” Pankos: “Go-- I’ll meet’cha in the barn.” Cal: “No! You’re not safe! You have to get out of here before it’s too late!” Pankos: “Who are who?” Cal: “I’m somebody who wants to help you. If you _don’t_ get out of here, you’re all gonna die!” Pankos: “I’ve given every last dinar we have to Xena’s lieutenant. We’ll be spared.” Cal: “Please, you have to listen to me.” Arleia: “Just let go of me!” Y Cal: “Mommy!” Pankos: “Hey! Leave us alone. Get Callisto out of here.” Cal: [Cries] ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- X: “It’s time. You know what to do.” Warrior: “All the others were too old, too fat, or too scared. This guy _liked_ the idea.” X: “Oh-- a mercenary-- intent on fleecing the flocks before I do. What makes you think you’re cut out to be in my army?” I: “I don’t wanna join your army. I wanna talk to you.” X: “About what? Sparing this miserable village? Huh. Well, that’s not an option. Nice move. Who taught you that?” I: “You did.” X: “Well-- here’s another lesson for ya.” I: “Wait. You know me!” X: “Yeah-- that’s why I’m trying to give ya such a warm _welcome_! I don’t know what you thought you were doing here, but you _failed_.” I: “I’m your friend.” X: “You must be mistaken-- ‘cause I don’t _have_ any friends. And around here-- neither do you.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- [ACT III] I: “Wait! I can prove I know you! I know all about you!” X: “A lot of people do-- I’m a legend.” I: “Yeah-- but most people don’t know about the birthmark on your-- ” X: “Well, like I say-- I’m a legend.” I: “Your lieutenant-- Darphus-- he’s gonna betray you-- make you run a gauntlet.” X: “Darphus? He hasn’t got the guts for that. He knows I’d kill him.” I: “Because of what’s gonna happen here in Cirra-- a little girl-- is gonna turn into a monster goddess. So many people are gonna suffer. You can change all that.” X: “Can you see the future?” I: “No-- I’m from the future-- and I know your destiny.” X: “And I’m starting to get a handle on yours.” I: “Hah.” X: “Let me tell ya-- it’s not far away and-- it involves a great deal of pain.” I: “There is good inside you, Xena. You’re destined for great things-- as a hero.” X: “A hero-- me? Well, maybe I’ll even find true love, huh?” I: “Please-- what I’m telling you is the truth.” X: “Oh, that’s a good line. I bet it works great on the yokels.” I: “I know about your son-- Solon.” X: “Solon? Nobody knows about Solon. Who are you?” Darphus: “Xena! We’re ready!” X: “Where did that man go?!” Darphus: “I didn’t see anybody.” X: “He wanted me to spare this miserable village. Get the women and children out. We’re gonna waste this town.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Sov: “It’s eating you up, isn’t it? You can watch, but you can’t help. That’s better punishment for you than if I did kill you myself. Does the thunder scare you?” H: “Maybe there is a way out.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Darphus: “She said waste the place. Burn it!” [Actually, I believe this is stock footage from “The Gauntlet.] Warriors: [Shout] [Xena’s army devastates Cirra.] ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Cal: “The village is burning. You’re not safe here. Come with me.” Arleia: “Go away.” Warrior: “Women and children are supposed to be out of here!” Arleia: “No!” Warrior: “Come on!” Cal: “No!” Y Cal: [Screams] [Callisto kills warrior.] Pankos: “Arleia, what’s happening?!” [Callisto kills Pankos.] Y Cal: [Screams] Pankos: [Moans] Arleia: “Pankos? Pankos?! Pankos?!” [Callisto kills Arleia.] Cal: “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Cal: “You have to die-- for both of us now.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Y Cal’s Voice: “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Uncle: “Callisto! What are you doing with my niece?! Where are the parents?” I: “They’re dead. I’m sorry.” Uncle: “Then I’ll take care of her.” I: “You know, if you cry, it might help.” Y Callisto: “No-- I will never cry.” I: “OK, Callisto-- where are you?” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- I: “Corinth-- but-- ?!” Man: “Remember me to the conqueror. I fought with you when we-- took Sparta.” Soldier: “Yeah!” I: “Xena the conqueror?” Soldier: “Move along! Go on! Hurry along! Let’s go!” I: “Aw, no.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Darphus: “Bring out the prisoner!” X: “What is her crime?” G: “I spoke.” Darphus: “She incited the people against you-- encouraged them to revolt!” X: “Get up! Are you guilty?” G: “I gave voice to the people-- the fearful-- starving-- the ones who disappeared in the night, never to be seen again. Have you no dignity?! No rights?! A right to live-- to be free from harm?!” X: “I guess they don’t hear your voice.” G: “I’m not the only one. You can’t break our spirit.” X: “The cure for spirit-- is fear. You’ll serve as an example. Put her on the cross. Break her legs.” G: [Screams] ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- [ACT IV] I: “Ares! Ares! I’m back-- but something’s gone horribly wrong. Callisto succeeded. Alcmene’s dead! Hercules doesn’t exist anymore! You’ve got to send me back-- to make things right-- please!” Ares: “Two things. First-- who are you? Second-- who in Tartarus is Hercules?” I: “Hercules-- the only one who can stop Xena!” Ares: “Xena?! [Sighs] Xena, Xena, Xena, Xena, Xena, Xena, Xena-- the sound of her name excites me! Cruel, hearless, merciless-- Xenaaaa! Why would you wanna stop her?” I: “Because soon, she’ll conquer all of Greece!” Ares: “Will she? [Laughs] She already rules the known world! The Roman Empire-- the Far East-- Gaul! All roads lead here! Everbody knows that! Are you getting enough sleep?” I: “Ares!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- H: “Come on, Iolaus-- _think_ about the Chronos stone. If only he could hear me.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- I: “The Chronos stone. Uh-- Herc?” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- H: “Xena has it.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- I: “You know, if I had that, I could go back in time without Ares’ help.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- H: “Xena has it!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- I: “Xena has it! That was the Chronos stone on her scepter. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait-- I can’t know that. I mean, that-- unless-- Herc? Is that you? Are you there?” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- H: “I’m right here! Come on.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- I: “Yes! He’s alive! He’s alive!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Sov: “What are you doing?” H: “If it’s any of your business-- I’m making a key.” Sov: “A key. Yeah-- this place got to you, didn’t it?” H: “This place isn’t so bad-- it’s the company.” Sov: “So, you get out. According to you, you’ll, uh-- evaporate, you know? Poof! Disappear.” H: “Not if Iolaus does what I think he’ll do. I, uh-- I-- wouldn’t stand too close to that.” Sov: “What, like this? [Yells]” H: “Don’t say I didn’t warn you. It’s gonna work.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- [Joust] Soldier 1: “Xena!” X: “Yeah! Villagers’ Voices: “Come on!” “Come on!” “Stick him! Stick him!” Warrior’s Voice: “Stop him! He has-- !” X: “Get him! Warriors’ Voices: “Come on!” “After him!” I: [Yells] Warrior’s Voice: “What happened?!” Darphus: [Yells] Warrior’s Voice: “I don’t know!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Y Alcmene: “Iolaus! I, I-- thought you were outside!” I: “I was! I am! Come on.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- I: “That was close. We made it. [Coughs] Well, come, come on. It’s all right. It’s all right. It’s all right. It’s all right.” Y Alcmene: “How did you manage to think so fast?” I: “Ah-- it took a lot longer than you realize.” Y Alcmene: “Iolaus.” I: “Yeah.” Y Alcmene: “You know, there’s a two year- old in the village called Iolaus. He’s always stealing pastries.” I: “That’s a different guy altogether.” Y Alcmene: [Laughs] “Thanks to you, my baby’s alive. See? Feel him kick. Yeah. Go on.” [They laugh.] I: “I know that kick anywhere!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- H: “It’s, uh-- it’s been a pleasure.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Cal: “Oh, no, you don’t. There’s a price to pay for being a hero. Are you willing to pay it?” I: “Wait-- you remember me? I saved you from the burning barn in Cirra.” Cal: “No, you didn’t! Because you meddled and saved Alcmene, I never got to go there. I was playing with you last time. I’m not playiong anymore.” H: “Surpri- ise!” Cal: “Oh, I’ve been looking _forward_ to this.” H: “So have I!” [H and Callisto fight.] H: “Stay!” Cal: [Screams] [H throws Callisto into the vortex.] H: “There-- that should keep her out of trouble for a while.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Sov: “No. No, no, no, no-no, no-no-no-no! Ah! Very disappointed! I really hate him.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ I: “Hercules! Uh! It is _so good_ to see you!” H: “It’s, uh-- it’s good to be seen.” I: “Hey-- what do we do with this? It’s got hind’s blood on it.” H: “I’ve got an idea. Rock on.” I: “So-- that’s the end of Callisto-- right?” H: “Hopefully, but she’s the least of my worries. The evil-- that was behind all this is still out there. It will have to be dealt with.” I: “Yeah, but-- you’re here to do that, right? I mean-- everything’s gonna be OK, right? I mean-- the two of us together-- ” H: “The two of us together?” I: “Yeah.” H: “Yeah.” [Pan back to the Hope watching H and I depart] ----------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------Click here to return to the HTLJ ARMAGEDDON NOW II page.
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