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WAR WOUNDS


“War Wounds”  Episode 78/419

[TEASER]

I:  “Come on, Hercules!  Hurry up!  We’re gonna miss the boat!”

H:  “Don’t worry.  The boat will wait for us.”

I:  “Are you kidding?  _This_ is the ferry to Corinth.  It leaves
_on_ time, _every_ time.  It does not wait for _anybody_.”

H:  “We’re not takin’ the ferry.  We’re sailing with Nebula.”

I:  “OK.  OK.  That’s-- that’s OK.  Hmm.”

H:  “I’m sure she’ll be glad to see you too, Iolaus.  You two
can, uh-- pick up where ya left off.”

I:  “Excuse me?!  The ferry stops at every town.  With Nebula,
it’ll be a straight trip.  Unless, of course-- she and her crew
wanna stop and-- plunder something.  I mean, dealing with
pirates.”

H:  “Not a problem.  We’re the crew.”

I:  “Ah-- good.”

H:  “It’ll be good to see Ajax again.”

I:  “Yeah.  You know, when I think of all the battles we fought
side by side-- the friendships we made-- funny how war can do
that.”

Man:  “Oh!  Oh!  Ohh!”

H:  “Hey.  Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.  What happened?”

Man:  “Robbers-- four of ‘em.  Worked me over pretty good.  I
can’t stand.”

H:  “All right-- just let me see.”

I:  “There was a temple to Aesclepius back there.”

H:  “That’s right.  We’ll get help for him there.”

Man:  “Oh!”

H:  “Here, come on-- up you go-- slow, slow, slow, slow.  Here,
lean on me.  Ajax is expecting us.  You go on to Corinth.”

I:  “Well-- ”

H:  “It’s OK.  I’ll meet you there.”

I:  “OK.”

Man:  “Oh.”

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I:  “Ah-- it’s good to be back.  Thanks for the lift, Nebula.”

Nebula:  “Glad to have you.  A barnacle who knows fore from aft
is always welcome.  You soldiered with this bunch, huh?”

I:  “Well, not all of them-- but a lot of ‘em.”

Nebula:  “Pretty scurvy-looking crew.”

I:  “War can do that to you.”

Nebula:  “What’s the occasion?”

I:  “They’re dedicating a statue to those that didn’t come back.
It was Ajax’s idea.  [Chuckles]  Looks like every ex-soldier in
Greece is turning up.”

Nebula:  “Well, maybe I’ll sign up a new crew.  Anyone who
survived a ten-year war in Troy should make a good sailor.”

I:  “You mean ‘pirate.’”

Nebula:  “Whatever.  By the look at them, it’d be a step up.”

I:  “I haven’t seen this many heroes in one place since-- the
Argonauts’ reunion.  Huh-huh.  Come on.  I’ll introduce you to
Ajax.”

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Man’s Voice:  “All right, put some muscle into it!  Hey!  Hey!
Steady it.  Hold it!  Hold it!”

Ajax:  “Phidias-- every man who ever took up arms for our
country, owes you a debt of gratitude.”

Phidias:  “No, sir-- the debt’s mine.  Not a day passes, I don’t
think of the guys who died out there.”

Villager:  “Hey!  Watch it!  You guys roll into town like you own
the place-- and everybody in it!”

Kazon:  “All right-- break it up!  There’s no permit for this
statue.  There’s no permit for a demonstration.  Now, move on!
And don’t make me say it twice.  Move-- or you’ll be moved.  This
is your last warning.”

Ajax:  “Hold on, sergeant.  You can’t do this.”

Kazon:  “I speak for the king.  He can.  Now-- move on.”

Phidias:  “The King?  Huh?  Hasn’t he the guts to come and speak
for himself?!”

Kazon:  “Arrest that man.  Take him away!”

Soldier:  “Come on, you old-timer!”

Phidias:  “Hey!  Let me go!”

Ajax:  “He didn’t do anything!”

Kazon:  “What part of ‘Move on’ don’t you understand?  Clear the
area.  Clear the area!”

[Fight]

I:  “OK, guys!  Let’s take it over here!”

Nebula:  “Love a good convention, but this one’s getting out of
hand.”

I:  “Yeah.  Ajax, call ‘em off!”

Ajax:  “Iolaus!  Welcome to the party!”

I:  “These guys don’t stand a chance against your men!  Hey!
Hey, hey!”

Ajax:  “They’ve been riding us, treatintg us like scum!  We’ve
got rights, same as them!  In fact, we fought for their rights!
And many good men lost their lives!  You know that!”

I:  “I know.  But look, you’ve made your point.  Call a halt,
before somebody gets killed.”

Nebula:  “Like me!”

Ajax:  “OK!  Back off!  That’s an order!”

Kazon:  “You’ll pay for this!”

I:  “No!  You’ll pay for this-- when King Iphicles hears about
it!  He would _never_ condone you harassing these men!”

Iphicles:  “He was following my orders!”

I:  “Iphicles.”

Nebula:  “You know the king?  Nothing like friends in high
places.”

I:  “He’s-- more than a friend.  He’s Hercules’ brother.”

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[ACT I]

I:  “Iphicles-- how can you condone this?  These men fought for
Corinth.  They fought for all of Greece.”

Iphicles:  “It’s none of your business, Iolaus.  Don’t get
involved.”

I:  “I fought alongside these men.  So did Hercules.  I am
involved.”

Iphicles:  “But you’re not.  You’ve got no idea what’s going on,
here.  You’ve been away with my brother for far too long.”

I:  “Iphicles-- ”

Iphicles:  “I am _not_ gonna argue the matter with you!  Kazon--
see to your men.  Report back to me.  Yah!”

Man’s Voice:  “That’s it, just leave.”

Nebula:  “Some friend.”

Ajax:  “Iphicles refuses to hear us.  Now, he sends in his goons.
You know Phidias.”

I:  “Yeah.”

Ajax:  “They hauled him off-- for no reason!”

Soldier:  “Nobody cares.  We come home after all these years, and
to what?”

Kazon:  “You guys have been fighting for so long, you’re nothing
but a bunch of thugs!  You all deserve what Phidias got!”

Ajax:  “You can haul every last one of us out there, but that
sorry rock won’t hold us forever!”

I:  “Are you talkin’ about Golgoth?”

Ajax:  “You bet I am-- the worst prison in Greece.  Once you’re
out there, you may as well be dead:  out of sight, out of mind,
out of luck.”

I:  “I’m gonna talk to Iphicles when he’s cooled off-- find out
what’s behind all this.”

Ajax:  “Well, maybe he’ll talk to you.  He certainly won’t listen
to me.”

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I:  “Iphicles-- Hercules and I were-- we were sorry to hear about
Rena.  We were in Cestos, and we only heard the news a few days
ago.”

Iphicles:  “I appreciate it, Iolaus.  It was over quickly.  She
didn’t suffer.  I’m thankful for that much.  But, she died alone.
I, I should have been here.  I was away, dealing with a
situation, uh-- just like the one today, but it turned into a
riot.  Returning soldiers, who just could _not_ leave the
fighting behind.”

I:  “I hope you don’t hold Ajax and the others responsible.”

Iphicles:  “But I do.  If it hadn’t been for them, I would have
been-- _here_ with Rena at the end, where I belong.”

I:  “I understand.  But-- I also understand these veterans.
Maybe, they went about it the wrong way, but these men are not
civilians.  They don’t _think_ like civilians.  We need to find a
way to help them.  They fought hard for Greece.”

Iphicles:  “I know that.  The trouble is-- the killing, the
fighting-- it’s all they know.  My people are terrified!”

I:  “But sending them out to Golgoth is not the answer.  These
men, they’re-- they’re heroes-- they’re not criminals.  We’re
supposed to be helping them fit in.  You’re just putting a chain
on them.”

Iphicles:  “When a situation like today comes up, I will deal
with it.  Just because these men fought in a war, does not
entitle them to special privileges.  They are not above the law!”

I:  “Iphicles-- ”

Iphicles:  “Stop!  Iolaus-- you are my friend.  But I’ve got a
country to run”.

I:  “Then as a friend-- will you do one thing for me?”

Iphicles:  “You know I will.”

I:  “Talk to Ajax.  Listen to what he has to say.”

Iphicles:  “Very well.  Bring him to me.”

I:  “You know, she was really proud of you.”

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I:  “So, Iphicles is prepared to listen-- which is a step.”

Soldier:  “It’s talk!”

I:  “He will come around.  I _know_ the man.  You just have to be
patient.”

Soldier:  “How much longer are we supposed to wait?”

Ajax:  “Remember, it took us ten years to win at Troy.  Perhaps
we should listen to Iolaus.”

Soldier:  “And too many good good men lost their lives because of
it!”

I:  “Yes, they did.  But, more than fighting won that war.  There
was a strategy, a plan.  And Hercules is coming back, soon, and
Iphicles will listen to him.  You know he will!”

Ajax:  “Men are rotting out there on Golgoth.  I don’t know how
much longer I can keep the lid on this.”

I:  “Time and trust, Ajax.  You know that’s the answer.”

Ajax:  “Wipe those looks off your faces.  Griping and groaning
never helped anybody.  Coming home-- hasn’t been what any of us
expected.  We’ve been insulted, ridiculed.  Men who didn’t have
the guts to fight beside us now have the nerve to spit on us!
Well that’s not right-- none of this!  Just remember one thing.
You watch each others’ backs.  Stick together.  United-- nobody
can beat us-- not even the king of Corinth!”

Soldiers:  [Cheer]

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I:  “King Iphicles, you have a problem.  Ajax, your vets have a
problem.  You have to realize, it’s the same problem!”

Iphicles:  “I disagree.  What I have is a solution, and it’s out
there on the bay.”

Ajax:  “Highness, you can’t believe that sending men out to the
rock for imaginary offenses is a solution to anything!”

Iphicles:  “Imaginary offenses?!  Is that what it was for you to
encourage rebellion against this crown?!  ‘Not even the king of
Corinth can beat us.’  Isn’t that what you said!”

Ajax:  “It wasn’t meant that way.  It was meant to rally hope,
because that’s all these men have left, hope-- and each other.”

I:  “Maybe, it was quoted out of context.”

Iphicles:  “Context is unimportant.”

Ajax:  “If I spoke inappropriately-- punish me, not my men.”

Iphicles:  “You may leave Corinth, if you go now-- all of you.
Anyone who stays-- goes to Golgoth.”

Ajax:  “If we leave, what happens to the men already out there.”

Iphicles:  “They stay where they are.”

Ajax:  “Very well.  Now!”

I:  “Ajax-- don’t-- do this.”

Ajax:  “You heard what I heard.  I can’t _not_ do this.”

I:  “It’s a mistake.  Let me try and talk to him.”

Ajax:  “No.  It was a mistake to think that this would work.  You
were right.  We needed a plan.  Well, I have one.  Sorry about
this, Iolaus.”

Iphicles:  “All of Greece won’t be big enough to hide you.”

Ajax:  “As long as I’ve got you, I don’t need all of Greece.”

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[ACT II]

I:  “Nebula.  Nebula?  Nebula, I need you!”

Nebula:  “Love the direct approach.”

I:  “Oh, sorry, I-- uh-- Ajax has taken the king prisoner, and
it’s my fault.”

Nebula:  “Easy!  Before you take all the credit-- how do you
figure that?”

I:  “You see, I persuaded them that-- that they could solve their
problem if they got together and talked it over.  But it blew up.
I know Ajax.  I should’ve seen it coming.”

Nebula:  “Do you need me to help you get away?”

I:  “No, I-- I don’t wanna get away!  I-- ”

Nebula:  [Chuckles]

I:  “Uh-- I wanna go and rescue-- Iphicles-- before-- Ajax does
something really foolish.”

Nebula:  “Foolish.  Like-- ”

I:  “Well-- first thing he’ll do is go to the prison and rescue
his men.  And then it could go any number of ways-- none of them
good.”

Nebula:  “Rescue the king-- you think Iphicles can spell,
‘Reward’?  Heh-heh, I bet he can.  Towel?”

I:  “Huh?  Oh.  Here.”

Nebula:  “Thank you.  What do you say we get this bucket under
way, hmm?”

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Gagnon:  “Welcome to Golgoth.  This place is mine.  All of you
belong to me.  The gods of Olympus don’t exist here.  My name is
Gagnon.  If you pray, pray only to me.  You’ll follow the rules--
and keep your mouths shut-- or damnation in Tartarus will be
like-- Elysium, compared to the time you do here.  You smell like
regular army to me.”

Phidias:  “I was.”

Gagnon:  “I hate regular army.”

Phidias:  “Hmm.  Do I look as though I care?  Ahh!  Ahh!  Ahh!
Uhh!  Ohhhh!”

Gagnon:  “Hmm-- oh, you’ll learn to care.”

Phidias:  “Nooo!”

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Soldiers:  “Move!”  “Just a little further.”

Ajax:  “Show some respect!  He may be a disgrace, but he’s still
a king.”

Iphicles:  “Is this your idea of respect, Ajax?!  You get used to
this rock.  You are _not_ leaving it.”

Guards’ Voices:  “Who goes there?!”  “Identify yourselves!”

Ajax:  “Put down your weapons!  We have your king!  Let’s go.”

Soldier:  “Move.”

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I:  “So, what do you know about this place, Golgoth?”

Nebula:  “It’s no paradise, but I’ve seen worse.”

I:  “Ha, you’ve been there?”

Nebula:  “The rock it’s built on is riddled with natural
tunnels-- perfect hiding place-- if you can only get past the
creatures that live in the sand.”

I:  “What kind of creatures?”

Nebula:  “Sandsharks.”

I:  “Oh.”

Nebula:  “The island’s infested with them.  Hmm-hmm.  Do you
think being a pirate was easy?”

I:  “Listen-- if this thing works out-- we’re gonna have to
evacuate a lot of men off that island.  Would you-- ?”

Nebula:  “Sure.  Sure-- but you’ll owe.”

I:  “What are you gonna do?  Place me into servitude?  Hold me in
bondage for-- how long?”

Nebula:  “We’ll negotiate.  But don’t sweat it.  Bondage gets a
bad rap.”

I:  “Huh.  Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh.”

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Phidias:  “Uhh!  Uhh!  Uhh!  Uhh!”

Gagnon:  “Looks like a man who’s learned his lesson.”

Phidias:  [Spits]  “Uhhhhh!”

Gagnon:  “Behind you!  Sound the alarm!”

Soldier:  “Go get him!”

Guard:  “Uhhhh!”

Gagnon:  “Go on!  Get up the wall!”

[Fight]

Gagnon:  “They’re comin’ in!”

Guard:  “Ahhhhhh!  Ahhhh!  Ahhh!”

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Ajax:  “Get those chains off of him.”

Prisoners:  “We’re  free!”  [Cheers]

Ajax:  “Look at them, Iphicles.  These men did nothing to deserve
this treatment.”

Iphicles:  “I don’t know what kinda trouble they caused once they
got here, and neither do you.”

Soldier:  “Let’s go!”

Ajax:  “Phidias.”

Soldier:  “Come on.”

Ajax:  “Lie still!  They’ll, they’ll pay for this!”

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Nebula:  “The tunnels are that way!”

I:  “No time!”

Nebula:  “You’re right.  Once the king serves his purpose in
freeing the prisoners, he’s a dead man.”

I:  “Ajax is _not_ a cold-blooded killer.  He’s a patriot.”

Nebula:  “Holding the king hostage-- that sound patriotic to
you?”

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Ajax:  “Who did this to you?”

Phidias:  “He did-- Gagnon.”

Soldier:  “Look who I found!”

Phidias:  [Groans, then loses consciousness]

Ajax:  “Kill him.  Kill him!”

I:  “Ajax, you can’t!  He’s your prisoner!”

Ajax:  “This is war!  I’m not taking any prisoners!”

Gagnon:  “I was doing your work.  Do something!”

Iphicles:  “I never told you to treat them like animals!”

Gagnon:  “This is a prison!  What do you _think_ went on here?!
Ajax!  Blame him!  Not me!”

Iphicles:  “Stop!”

Gagnon:  “Ahhhhhhhh!”  [Screams]

Ajax:  “Stop him!”

Iphicles:  “Ahhhhh!  Uhh!  Uhh-- my leg!”

I:  “Come on!”

Iphicles:  “Uh!”

I:  “Keep still!  Don’t move!  Don’t move!  Keep still!  Keep
still!”

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[ACT III]

I:  “Hey!”

Soldier:  “Ahhhhhhh!”

Soldier’s Voice:  “Help!  Someone help!”

Nebula:  “Grab it!”

H:  “Hold on, Iolaus!  Iolaus-- get him to the ropes.”

I:  “Come on.”

H:  “Wouldn’t you feel more comfortable in water?”

Iphicles:  “Uh!”

I:  “Uh!”

Iphicles:  “Oh!”

Ajax:  “Grab him!  Lock him up!”

Soldier:  “Come on!”

Ajax:  “Anybody tries anything-- kill him!”

H:  “Uhh!  Great.  Yeah, chew on that for a while, pal.  I hate
these guys.”

Soldier’s Voice:  “Careful.”

H:  “What do you think you’re doing?!”

Ajax:  “What are friends for?”

H:  “OK, OK.  Ah.  Remember that decoy we used in Troy?”

Ajax:  “Number two.”

Ajax and H:  “Two!”

H:  “Hey!”

H:  “Over here!  Come on!”

Ajax:  “On two!”

H and Ajax’s Voice:  “Two!”

Ajax:  “Thanks.”

Soldier’s Voice:  “Well done, Hercules.”

H:  “I think it’d be a good idea if we-- get to the ropes.  Come
on.”

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Ajax:  “Just like old times, hey?”

H:  “No-- this is different-- and you know it.  What did you
think, Ajax?  I’d let you take my brother and not follow you?”

Ajax:  “My fight’s with him, not with you.”

H:  “Any fight with my brother is a fight with me.  I want
Iphicles.”

Ajax:  “You see Phidias.  That’s your brother’s work.  He caused
this.”

H:  “You are not without blame, here.”

Ajax:  “When there’s trouble, politicians need guys like us-- and
after it’s over, they expect us to go crawl in a hole.  Well,
this has gone too far-- and Iphicles must pay.”

H:  “I want Iphicles, now.”
 
Ajax:  “I can’t stop you.  We both know that.  But he’ll be dead
before you can get to him.”

H:  [Sighs]  “I give you my word.  You let me see him-- be sure
he’s OK.  He can stay where he is for now-- but only until this
thing is resolved.”

Ajax:  “I’ll take your word.  You can see him.  Then we’ll talk
about what comes next.”

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Soldier:  “Hold it.”

Ajax:  “Let him come.  You talk to Hercules?”

I:  “He’s gone to see his brother.  Is he in one piece?”

Ajax:  “Yes-- for now, but I will do what I have to.”

I:  “So will I-- and so will Hercules.”

Ajax:  “What’s happened, Iolaus?  I used to be a champion of the
people, and now they treat me like an enemy.”

I:  “You just made a mistake-- that’s all.  And so did Iphicles.
And you two can get through this.  You wanna hand with that?”

Ajax:  “No-- thanks.  A soldier learns to ignore pain.”

I:  “You’re not a _soldier_, anymore!”

Ajax:  “They won’t let us be anything else.”

I:  “I’m sure there’s a place for you, somewhere-- but violence
won’t get it.  Let it go.”

Ajax:  “You were one of us, Iolaus-- you and Hercules, both.  You
should be with us, not against us.”

I:  “We _are_ with you.  We’re just-- against the-- way you’re
going about things.”

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H:  “Uhhhh!  This should do for now.  Just, uh-- stay off of it,
and no more-- teasing the sandsharks, OK?”

Iphicles:  [Chuckles]  “It’s good to see you, Hercules.  Can’t
wait to get outta here.”

H:  “Well, you’re gonna stay for a while.  It was the price for
us getting to talk.  So, what happened?  None of this is like
you.”

Iphicles:  “There were so many returning home at once-- it became
a question of public safety.  I had to do something.”

H:  “Sending them here was not the answer.  These men-- fought
for your kingdom.  They deserve better.  It’s up to you to make a
place for them.  They’ve earned it.”

Iphicles:  “I know that.  It’s just-- it got-- got to be
personal.”

H:  “Rena.”

Iphicles:  “Yeah.”

H:  “You wanted someone to blame-- but I think your anger was a
little misdirected.  They weren’t responsible for you losing her.
All right.  I’ll get you out of here.  Guard!  It’s not too late
to make this right.”

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Ajax:  “Satisfied?  We didn’t hurt him.”

H:  “That’s good for both of you.”

Ajax:  “Go back to Corinth.  Empty the treasury and bring it to
me.  It won’t erase what’s aleady happened, but it will buy some
of these men a fresh start.  Do that-- and I’ll spare Iphicles.”

I:  “You can’t mean that.  That corrupts everything you’ve ever
stood for.”

Ajax:  “I’m not sure that what I stood for is worth a pinch of
salt.  Take her boat-- go.”

H:  “I’ll do it, but Iolaus stays here with my brother.  Tell
Iphicles I’ll be back-- for both of you.”

Soldier:  “Commander-- about the ransom-- the men are afraid it
sends the wrong message-- that we’re nothing but common
criminals.”

Ajax:  “Whether or not Hercules brings the money, no matter--
you’re right.  But we do need to send a message, and we do need
to avenge Phidias.  And to do that-- Iphicles must die.”

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[ACT IV]

Nebula:  “A king’s ransom, huh?  Gotta hand it to Ajax.  He’s got
vision.”

H:  “This isn’t about ransom.  He doesn’t intend to free
Iphicles.  I’m going back in there, but some other way.”

Nebula:  “He thinks your gone-- he drops his guard.  It’s a good
idea.  Let’s go.  I can’t wait to see the look on Iolaus’ face
when, uh-- he sees me rescue him.  Hm-hmm.”

H:  “This isn’t your fight.  You’re staying here.”

Nebula:  “Oh, is that right?”

H:  “Ye-ep.”

Nebula:  “So, you wanna fight those sandsharks all by yourself?
I know the other way in.  Besides-- having the son of Zeus owe me
a favor might come in handy someday.  Come on.  Come on, Herc.
Come on.”

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Iphicles:  “You must despise me-- the way I treated those men.”

I:  “Well, I must admit, I lost faith back there.  Hercules never
did.”

Ajax:  “Good men gave their lives for you.  And those that
survived, you betrayed.  No-- worse-- you-- sent them here.”

I:  “Ow!”

Ajax:  “On their behalf-- I sentence you to die.”

I:  “You can’t mean that!”

Soldier:  “Do it!”

I:  “Ajax!”

Iphicles:  “I was wrong.  I made mistakes.  B-- but do this-- and
you’re no better than you accuse me of being.”

I:  “At least-- give him a fighting chance.  What kind of a
soldier are you?!”

Ajax:  “All right!  I’ll give you the same chance to get off this
rock, that you gave the men you sent here.”

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Ajax:  “There’s freedom, Iphicles.  Fight your way out, and
you’ve earned it.”

I:  “He doesn’t stand a chance with that leg.  Let me go in his
place.”

Ajax:  “No.  My fight’s not with you, Iolaus.  He must pay.”

I:  “You’re not the man I knew and respected, anymore, Ajax.
And, I think a lot of your men feel the same.”

Ajax:  “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Iphicles:  “Ahhhhh!  Ooooh!”

I:  “Try to keep still!  Don’t-- move.”

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H:  “Uh-- how much further?”

Nebula:  “Should be just ahead.”

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I:  “If we can get to the ropes-- we’ll make it.  Go!  Come on!
Come on!”

Iphicles:  [Screams]

I:  “Come on!”

Iphicles:  “Don’t-- leave me!”

I:  “Go!  Come on!  Move your royal butt!”

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Nebula:  “I don’t understand.  This wasn’t here before.”

H:  “Something like this?”

Nebula:  “No-- bigger.”

H:  “They always want bigger.”

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Nebula:  “Uh-oh-- looks like feeding time.”

H:  “Hold on, Iolaus.  I’ll be right there.  Ajax-- what are you
doing?  Just get out of my way!”

Ajax:  “I can’t let you do this!”

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I:  “Wait here.”

Iphicles:  “What?”

I:  “Hey!  Over here!  Hey!”

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Nebula:  “Play fair.”

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I:  “Whooaaa!  Whoo-hoo!”

Iphicles:  “Iolaus!  To your left!”

Soldier:  “Boy, that’s guts.”

Nebula:  “Don’t be greedy.”

I:  [Laughs]

Iphicles:  “Guys!  Come on!”

I:  “Uh-- Ahhhhhh!  Whoooooo!”  [Continues yelling]

Nebula:  “Whoooooo!  All right!  Here we go!  Whooooo!”

I:  “Over here!”

[H and Ajax continue to fight.]

I:  “Come on,  Herc!  Hurry up!”

Ajax:  “Finish me off, so I die with honor on a battlefield!”

H:  “This isn’t a battlefield, and I’m _not_ your enemy!  It’s
over.  Nebula!  Get to the ropes!  Iolaus!  Get ready!”

Iphicles:  “Ahhh!”

I:  “Time to make a noise.”

Iphicles:  “What?”

I:  “Yooooo!  Hi!  Hi!  Hi!  Hi!  Come on over here!  Hi!  Hi!”

Iphicles:  “Come on!  Right here!  Come on!  I’m here!  Come on!”

I:  “Over here!”

Iphicles:  “Here I am!”

I:  “Whoo!”

H:  “Iolaus!”

I:  “Huh?”

H:  “Iolaus, wait there!”

I:  “Wait?”

H:  “Hold it!  Now!”

Nebula:  “Ooh-- yikes.”

I:  “Ooh.  Whoa!  Whoa!  Uh!”

H:  “Hmm.”

I:  “Whew!  Huh.  Hmm.”

Ajax:  “Oh!”

Iphicles:  “Oh!  Uh!”

Ajax:  “Hercules is right!  It’s over!  I went too far.  A good
soldier never surrenders-- but he always-- recognizes the enemy
when he sees him!  Sometimes-- that enemy is within!  Noooooooo!”

H:  “Aja-- !”

Iphicles:  “As Zeus is my witness, this ends now!  I swear-- I’ll
make a place in my kingdom for these men!”

H:  “At least he didn’t die for nothing.”

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Iphicles:  “And, finally-- Hercules had an idea-- a good one, I
think.  There’s land on our northern borders.  It’s rugged land.
But it’s fertile-- and it’s yours.  You can make a good life
there.  And you’ll provide a line of defense against any
encroachment by the Parthians.  I hope you will accept this from
the grateful people of Corinth-- and from a _very_-- grateful
king.  Hercules-- what can I say?  Thank you.”

H:  “What’s family for?”

I:  “Well-- it’s a start.”

Nebula:  “For them and for Iphicles.”

I:  “Hmm-- too bad you couldn’t turn a profit on this little--
excursion.”

Nebula:  “Oh, maybe not-- but I think I found the makings of a
first-rate crew.”

H:  “I, uh-- believe I owe you-- thanks-- for watching my--
back.”

Nebula:  “Ah-- it’s what I do best.”

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H:  “Goodbye, my friend.  Your war is over.  You fought hard for
your country-- and you fought brave.  You will always be
remembered a hero.”

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