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"Reunions" Episode 22/81 [TEASER] [Narrator: "Last time, on Hercules" Alcmene: "You have made my life complete. I couldn't have asked for a greater gift. I've no regrets." H: "I love you, Mother." Alcmene's Voice: "No regrets." H: "What do you want? Why are you here, now?" Zeus: "It's time for you to take your rightful place-- by my side-- ruling the gods of Olympus." Jason: "We think it could be the right thing for you, Hercules-- to go to Olympus." I: "Yeah-- maybe-- Zeus was right. People would be better off with you-- you know-- up there." Zeus: "What's your answer?" H: "I'm ready to go."] ----------------------------------------------------------------- I: "Are you sure you don't want me to stick around?" Jason: "Oh, I can't ask you to do that. Besides-- I've got enough memories in that house to keep me company." I: "I admire your strength, Jason." Jason: "Well, Alcmene wouldn't want me to spend the rest of my life mourning. It'll take time, but-- I'll be all right. Do you know where you're headed?" I: "Well, I've been thinking about my mother the past few days. After all that's happened, I feel like I owe her a visit." Jason: "How long has it been?" I: "Ha-ha-- too long. You know? I was such a trouble-maker when I was a kid . And then as soon as I thought I was old enough, I just-- peyoo! She got married again, a couple of years back-- to a poet. I haven't even met him. Hmm-- prodigal son." Jason: "I'm sure she misses you. She'll understand." I: "Take care of yourself, Jason." Jason: "Yeah, you too. Iolaus-- I know I don't have to say this-- but it wasn't easy for Hercules to leave you." ----------------------------------------------------------------- Zeus: "You're still having doubts, aren't you?" H: "Of course, I am." Zeus: "That's because you have a mortal heart." H: "It's never easy to let go of the life you've built-- or the people you care about." Zeus: "Well, you have a-- new life to build, now. This is your destiny, Hercules. Come-- join me, on Olympus, as a god." ----------------------------------------------------------------- Zeus: "Welcome home, Son." ----------------------------------------------------------------- [ACT I] H: "It's, uh-- been awhile. I like what you've done with the place." Zeus: "Uh, it's not much, but it's home. All-- of history is recorded here-- the past-- the present-- woven into a tapestry of time. Look." Y I: "Later [echoes]-- " H: "Iolaus. That was the day we met." Zeus: "You're a god, now. You can look back on any part of your life. What's the matter?" H: "I think I'd rather keep the past inside. It means more to me, that way." Zeus: "Well, then-- try the present." H: "It's Mother." Zeus: "You see, you don't have to say goodbye to those you love." H: "She looks happy." Zeus: "If anyone deserves to be in the Elysian Fields-- it's Alcmene. Not a day has gone by-- that I haven't looked in on her." H: "You mean, you've watched her entire life." Zeus: "She's always been-- extraordinary." ----------------------------------------------------------------- Hera: "Oh, is she, now? Well-- " ----------------------------------------------------------------- H: "That's what you do all day, huh? Sit around and-- spy on people?" Zeus: "Knowledge is power, Hercules." H: "What good is power-- if you don't use it to change things for the better?" Zeus: "Where you going?" H: "People need my help." Zeus: "But, you just got here." H: "Look, no offense, but I-- came up here to try and make the world a better place. I-- I may be a god, now, but that doesn't change who I am." Zeus: "Believe me, Hercules-- I don't want you to change who you are. I, um-- I'm just proud to have you as my son." H: "We'll finish the tour when I get back." Zeus: "Hmm." ----------------------------------------------------------------- I: "Excuse me. Uh, does Erytheia live here?" Pandeon: "Who wants to know?" Erytheia: "Iolaus?" I: "Hello, Mother." [Laughs] Erytheia: "This is such a surprise." Pandeon: "So-- you're Iolaus." I: "And you must be Pandeon. I'm glad we could meet each other, finally. I-I'm sorry I-I wasn't at your wedding. Hercules and I-- we were in Mycenae-- dealing with a-- a big, um-- fire-breath-- " Pandeon: "Don't worry. We didn't expect you there." Erytheia: "What Pandeon means is, we-- knew you were busy." I: "Yeah. So, uh-- so anyway, uh-- I'm sorry. And, um-- I know it's been a long time, but-- well-- I've missed you." Erytheia: "Come inside. I was just preparing lunch." ----------------------------------------------------------------- Man: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Help me! Help me!" Girl: "Daddy! Daddy!" Woman: "Hold on, Thallonius! I've sent for help!" Girl: "Mommy, help him! Daddy!" Zeus: "Maybe I can help." Man: "Uh! Help me!" H: "I hope this works." Man: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!" Woman: "What? Uh! The gods be praised!" Man: "Oh! A-ha-ha! Ha!" Woman: "Oh! Oh!" Girl: "Daddy!" Woman: "Oh-ho-ho-ho!" ----------------------------------------------------------------- Erytheia: "Have some." I: "Thank you. I've-- forgotten how good a home-cooked meal can be." Erytheia: "Tell us more about, uh-- Hercules." I: "Nah-- I've-- I've talked too much, already. Besides, I've already told you all the-- juicy parts. I'd, uh-- like to hear more about you two." Pandeon: "Would you? Well, where should we start? I mean, you missed so much." Erytheia: "Pandeon." Pandeon: "It's true, isn't it? Your son drops by out of the blue after who-knows-how long, and expects you to welcome him home with open arms." Erytheia: "Don't do this." I: "I don't expect anything from either of you. And I know I haven't been here as-- as much as I-- should have-- but-- I-I just-- I wanted ta-- " Pandeon: "Come-- you don't even know why you came, do you? I think you're feeling lost without your friend-- and you stopped in for a shoulder to cry on." I: "Listen, pal-- you don't know anything about me!" Pandeon: "And whose fault is that?" Erytheia: "This is _not_ your problem. It's between us." Pandeon: "It became my problem, every night that I saw you cry yourself to sleep, because you thought he'd abandoned you." I: "Is that true?" Pandeon: "Sweetheart-- you have to tell him how you feel. Welcome home." ----------------------------------------------------------------- Hera's Voice: "They look so insignificant from up here-- don't they?" [She materializes.] H: "The only one who looks insignificant to me, Hera, is you." Hera: "I didn't come here-- to fight with you, Hercules. I came to make an offer. You might even call it an offer of peace." H: "Huh-- peace." Hera: "Despite our differences, we've always had our contempt for Zeus in common." H: "You and I have nothing in common. Hmm." Hera: "Believe it or not-- I once loved your father, and your father loved me-- until something else caught his eye. As strong as our bond was, it couldn't compete with his fascination for mankind." H: "Oh, please, Hera. You have never loved anyone but yourself. You couldn't stand to lose your power with Zeus, so you made sure the world felt your pain." Hera: "I wanted Zeus to understand what he had done to me. The _world_ was incidental." H: "Not to me." Hera: "You're a god, now. I don't want to fight with you anymore, Hercules. It's _Zeus_ I despise! And I am not alone." H: "Why don't you just say what you have to say?" Hera: "Do you really believe he brought you to Olympus-- _just_ to help mankind?!" H: "Zeus!" ----------------------------------------------------------------- Zeus: "I know why you're here. Hera got to you, didn't she?" H: "Tell me she's wrong. Tell me that you haven't kept something form me." Z: "It's not as simple as that. Hera would stop at nothing to get me out of Olympus." H: "Is that why you brought me here?" Zeus: "You don't understand what's at stake." H: "Just, tell me the truth for once! Did you lie to me, so that I'd come up here and protect you against the other gods?! Answer me!" Zeus: "Yes, Hercules. I did." ----------------------------------------------------------------- [ACT II] H: "I trusted you! Everything you said has been a lie!" Zeus: "That's not true. I meant it when I said I was proud to have you as my son." H: "Well, I can't say I'm proud to be your son! Why didn't you just ask for my help?!" Zeus: "I knew how you felt about me. I didn't wanna take a chance that you'd refuse me." H: "Well, now you'll never know." Zeus: "Now, don't you walk away from me! You've had my protection since you were a boy. You _owe_ me the same." H: "_I_ owe _you_? You have permitted the greatest sorrows of my life! Where was your protection then? I owe you nothing!" Zeus: "I never thought I'd see the time-- when you'd take Hera's side." H: "I'm not on anybody's side. As far as I'm concerned, you two deserve each other." Zeus: "If you leave now-- don't come back!" H: "Take care of yourself, Dad-- that's what you're best at." ----------------------------------------------------------------- Alcmene: "Oh! [Chuckles] You startled me." Hera: "I didn't mean to frighten you-- Alcmene." Alcmene: "I'm sorry. Have we met?" Hera: "Now-- we have all the time in the world to become-- the closest of friends." ----------------------------------------------------------------- I: "Here-- let me help." Erytheia: "I can manage." I: "Mother-- Mother-- I know I've hurt you. If you keep it inside-- it's just gonna make things worse." Erytheia: "I always wanted you to go out in the world, and-- make a life, Iolaus. And I'm glad you did. I just thought I'd be a bigger part of it." I: "I'm so sorry." Erytheia: "When your father left me-- I was so hurt. I couldn't understand how he'd-- choose a life of war over a life with me." I: "It was his loss." Erytheia: "That's what I told myself-- until you left, too. And then, I had to wonder if-- maybe, I'd done something to drive you both away." I: "No. No-- you did everything right. It's me. I'm the one that made all the mistakes-- getting into trouble, uh-- stealing, uh-- I couldn't come back because-- I was ashamed I put you through all that." Erytheia: "That was years ago. You were a child." I: "I know. I guess-- I-- wanted to be the kind of man you could be proud of." I: "I love you, Son. But the truth is-- I don't know you _well_ enough to be proud of you." ----------------------------------------------------------------- H: "Mother, I'm trying to work things out with Zeus like you wanted-- but maybe, it wasn't meant to be. I know if you were here, you'd-- say I have to-- accept him for who he is, but-- gods-- you can't live with them, you can't-- . Even though he'll never change-- I can't turn my back on him. For better or worse, he, uh-- he is my father. I wish you were here to talk to me. I miss you." Apollo: "Oh, Hercules! You sound so grave! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh, 'grave'! Get it?!" H: "For once, Apollo, I hope you're here to pick a fight. I'm in the mood." Apollo: "Hah?! What will the children say?! You know? The funny thing about kids-- they love to play with matches-- but they're afraid of fire. Let me show you." ----------------------------------------------------------------- Teacher: "So, class-- that's what is meant by the old adage-- 'What goes up, must come down.' Yes, Aristotle." Aristotle: "What about him?" Children: "Wow." "Hey." Apollo: "Hi, Kiddies." Boy's Voice: "He's floating!" Apollo: "I love play time. Hey, over here, Herc! You ready for me, old man? Ha-ha-ha!" H: "You done playing your little game?" Apollo: "_Now_, I'm ready to pick that fight." ----------------------------------------------------------------- Hera: "Your son has abandoned you Zeus-- and you have no allies left to speak of." Zeus: "You will never, ever, take my throne." Hera: "I thought I was going to have to take your power-- with the help of the other gods-- but-- not anymore. You, dear husband, are going to _give_ it to me." Zeus: "I would destroy Olympus, first." Hera: "You know-- I couldn't understand why you waited so long to bring Hercules to Olympus-- until now. You didn't want to take him away from his mother. She wasn't just a casual encounter, was she? You chose her." Zeus [Laughs]: "Your jealousy has made you delusional." Hera: "And you love for a mortal woman will be your undoing!" Alcmene: [Screams] Zeus: "What, in the name of all the _gods_, have you done?!" Hera: "I've taken her spirit from the Elysian Fields. And she'll remain like this forever unless you surrender your godhood to me." Zeus: "And what makes you think I won't cover the world with your ashes?!" Hera: "If anything happens to me-- you'll never find her. And you'll have to live out your eternity knowing that you couldn't save the only woman you ever loved. You have no choice." Zeus: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" ----------------------------------------------------------------- Hera: "You've always been so captivated by your pathetic mortals. Let's see how you like living as one of them." ----------------------------------------------------------------- Hera's Voice: "You're a mortal, now." Apollo: "Ha-ha-ha-ha! Hey, kids-- how about a barbecue? Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!" Woman: "Ahhh! My baby!" ----------------------------------------------------------------- [ACT III] Apollo: "Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Ha-ha-ha!" Man's Voice: "Come on, now!" H: "Duck! All right-- go! Get them out of here!" I: "Hercules!" H: "Iolaus! Make sure everyobody's out!" Apollo: "Whoo! Whoo! Giddyup, Horsey! Ha-ha-ha-ha!" Man: "Wait! Wait! Come back!" H: "Apollo! Ahhhhhhh!" Apollo: "Whoo!" H: "Whoa! Hey! Come on! Would you stop?! Whoa!" Apollo: "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha." H: "Whoa! Whoa." Apollo: "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha." H: "You promised me you'd leave these people alone!" Apollo: "This is a special situation. I took you once before!" H: "I've improved since then. Why are you doing this?" Apollo [Chuckles]: "While you were saving all these worthless peasants, Mom was giving dear-old Dad a-- what would you call it? A demotion?" H: "What has she done with Zeus?" Apollo: "He's one of your puny flesh-and-blood mortals, now-- a dried-up old husk whose time is nearly gone. You could have stopped him too-- if you'd been there! Instead of here." H: "And how many of these people would be dead if I had?" Apollo: "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Well, that was kind of the point of it all! But, who cares?! Other than you. And my guess is you're next on Hera's list to be-- neutralized." ----------------------------------------------------------------- Women's Voices: "Thank you, Sir." "I'll be right with you. Oh!" Man's Voice: "Who is this?" Woman's Voice: "Excuse me." Men's Voices: "Misguided sense of direction." "The roof?" "It's about that long!" "That's not gonna hold!" "That's good, isn't it?" "Take the mask down." Woman: "Ever see that man before?" Zeus: "I want one of whatever he's having." Man: "That'll do it." Zeus: "Something a little stronger. Hi, fellas." Woman at table: "Hmm?" Zeus: "Is this the local health club? Ha-ha-ha. Ooh, look at that little raven?" Bald Man: "What are you lookin' at, old man?" Zeus: "Not much. Oh, Sweetie-- ha-ha-- this is your lucky day. Have I got something for you. Ho-ho-ho." Bald Man: "What do you think you're doin'?!" Zeus: "Aw." [Makes kissing noise] Woman and Zeus: [Laugh] Woman: "Aw!" [Barroom brawl] Zeus: "No, don't go, Sweetie. This won't take very long." Woman: "You're OK. What's your name?" Zeus: "Zeus." Woman: "Zeus?! [Laughs] Oh, that is rich!" Zeus: "Uh! Ohh! Ooh! Shoo. Oh. You're a knockout." ----------------------------------------------------------------- Hera: "Oh! He infuriates me! Wouldn't you know he would end up with a bimbo? Ares! He's supposed to be suffering! Driving himself crazy, because once he was somebody!" Ares: "You know, maybe it might just come to him how miserable he is without you." Hera: "If I thought he wasn't going to suffer, I would have killed him outright. Now-- I want you to go and do it. Go down there and kill him." ----------------------------------------------------------------- Woman: "I'll be back." Zeus and Woman [Singing]: "You'll get no ambrosia This side of Malaysia. So, cheer up, my lad, Pass 'em on!" [They laugh.] Bald Man: "Come on in here, stranger! Have a drink! This guy thinks he's-- Zeus!" [People laugh] Zeus: "Hrr, hrr! That's no stranger! That's my son-- yeah-- Hercules!" Woman: "Hercules?! Ha-ha! Stop it!" Bald Man: "You're killin' us, Man. Zeus and Hercules-- what is it?! The circus in town?!" H: "All right, all right. Let's go." Zeus: "Ahh, don't be a wet blanket. These are very-- good people." H: "I-I-- can see that they are. Come on." Zeus: "Yeah, well-- you and-- come on-- let's have a drink together, just-- just you and me-- father and son. Just a little-- " H: [Exhales] Zeus: "-- drink. Hmm?" H: "You're not safe here." Zeus: "Oh, I'm safe here. That business with Hera is finished. I'm as safe-- as a babe in his mother's arms. Ohh." ----------------------------------------------------------------- Woman's Voice: "[Says man's name?], I'll help you fix that wagon!" Pandeon: "Hey! Friend-- what happened here?" Teacher: "Apollo went nuts-- tried to burn the whole place down. If it hadn't been for Hercules and Iolaus-- we never would have survived." Pandeon: "Iolaus?" Teacher: "Oh, yeah-- school was on fire. He went in and brought me and the kids out. We would have died for sure if he hadn't been there. Risked his life, he did." I: "Pandeon! This is no good." Pandeon: "I guess I owe you an apology." I: "No. No. I'm the one that should apologize, to you-- and to my mother." Pandeon: "I had my mind made up about you before you ever came home. I never considered you do what you do for a good reason-- well-- a wonderful reason-- and I'm sorry." I: "You love my mother. Well, so do I. Ha-ha. You're concerned about her feelings, and this is a good thing, because, so am I. We can be friends, can't we?" ----------------------------------------------------------------- H: "OK. Come on. I really, don't wanna have to carry you out of here." Zeus: "All right, all right, now wait, now, don't be in such a hurry to-to break up my pary." H: "Yeah." Bald Man: "Yo, Zeus! Any more o' your family stops by-- we'll treat 'em right!" Woman: "Yeah, like, uh-- Hades or-or-- Ares!" [They laugh.] H: "So predictable." Ares: "Mom sends her best." ----------------------------------------------------------------- [ACT IV] Ares: "I should've known you'd be here to make this tougher than it has to be!" H: "You'd kill your own father. That's low, even for you." Ares: "Hey! Like father, like son. Zeus stuck it to old Cronus, like Cronus stuck it to his old man. What can I say? It's a family trait." H: "Hmm." Ares: "Well, that is new." H: "What do you say we, uh-- settle this the old-fashioned way?" Ares: "Mano-`a-mano." H: "One-on-one." Ares: "Face-to-face" H: "Eye-to-eye." [Fight] H: "Ahhh!" Zeus: [Belches] Ares: "Whoa! Ahhhh!" H: "Ah! Whoa!" Zeus: "My boys." Ares: "Whoooooooooooo!" H: "Ahhh!" Man: "Ahhhhh!" Ares: "Ahhhhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhhh! Ahhhhhh! Ahhhhhh!" Zeus: "Now come on, lads! Now, go on, get-- get stuck in there, eh? Ha-ha!" H: "Zeus!" Zeus: "Make Dad proud-- sock it to him, Herc! [Laughs] Ahh!" Ares: "Whoooa!" H: "Zeus! Zeus! Zeus. Zeus!" ----------------------------------------------------------------- Zeus: "Ooh! Oooooh! Whew! Huh?! Hey, wh-- what's that?" H: "That would be pain-- something you've never felt before." Zeus: "This is not a good thing." H: "Well, you're hurt." Zeus: "How hurt?" H: "Bad. You're dying." Zeus: "Dying! [Laughs] Now, that's impossible. I'm a go-- uh-oh." H: "That's right-- mortal." Zeus: "What did I do? Did I-- did I drink too much?" H: "A building fell on you." Zeus: "Yeah, well it-- it feels like it. Hey! Now, you're a god. You can heal me." H: "I thought of it." Zeus: "So-- why don't you do something?" H: "Thought I'd let you get a real taste of what it's like to be human, before I brought it up." Z [Laughs]: "Oh-- you're devious." H: "Yeah-- and look who's talkin'?" ----------------------------------------------------------------- Erytheia: "I'm glad you came." I: "Me too. I'm sorry it was so overdue. I just never thought-- " Erytheia: "Never thought I'd miss you? Never thought it would matter to me? You should have known better. You should know-- I'm very proud of you. And when you were in trouble, and-- couldn't find your way-- I had faith in you. And you proved me right." Pandeon: "Don't be a stranger-- you're always welcome." Erytheia: "Come back soon." I: "I will. I promise." ----------------------------------------------------------------- Man's Voice: "Let me make dinner tonight." Woman's Voice: "That would be quite nice." ----------------------------------------------------------------- Apollo: "You're in _my_ yard, now, Buddy!" H: "I'm not your buddy." [Fight] H: "Uh!" Apollo: "Whoooooa!" Hera: [Laughs] Zeus: "Hercules!" H: "Uh! Uh! Ahhh!" Zeus: "Look out!" Hera: [Laughs] H: "Ahhh! Ahhhh!" Hera: "You fall, and that's all. This is the abyss of Tartarus. Old Cronus is down there-- captive till the end of time." H: "I'll watch my step." Hera: [Laughs] H: "Ahh! Ohhh! Ohhh! Ohhh!" Hera: "Get ready for company, Cronus!" H: [Yells] Hera [Laughs]: "No! No!" H: "Ah! Ah! Ohh!" Hera: "I'm going to miss you, Hercules." [Laughs] H: "Ahhhhhh!" Hera: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhh, Hercules!" H: "I won't miss you." ----------------------------------------------------------------- Zeus: "You sure you want to return?" H: "The only way I can-- truly help mankind is to be among people, not above them." Zeus: "As a complete god, you could do so much more for them and for yourself" H: "No. You once said that I was-- born as the Fates meant me to be-- half-god and half-mortal. That's why I'm going back." Zeus: "Stubborn-- always so stubborn." H: "I take after my mother. I don't want any special treatment from you. I'll deal with the other gods and everyone else on my own." Zeus: "Well-- if that's what you want-- that's what you'll get. Are you saying goodbye? Is that what this is?" H: "This is me getting on with my life. If you wanna be a part of it, it's up to you." ----------------------------------------------------------------- I: "Yah!" H: "Whoa!" I: "Whoo." H: "I, uh-- I missed you, too." I: "Hercules, uh-- it's-- it's good to see ya." H: "It's good to see you. Well, I-- I'm back." I: "Back? You mean like, 'back' back? Like, _really_ back? No more, Olympus? No more, 'Hercules, the god'?" H: "No, just, uh-- half-god. Ha-ha." I: "Oh-oh! That's terrific! [They laugh.] So, what happened?" H: "I realized how much my family means to me. And-- you're it. Ha-ha. Wa, uh-- Iolaus, wait! Is something wrong?" I: "No, no [Sniffs]-- I'm just glad you're back." H: "Oh." I: "So, uh [Sniffs]-- how was Olympus?" H: "Olympus, uh-- not very friendly." I: "Ha-- and, um-- Hera?" H: "You could say she's-- history."
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