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“Battle Lines, Part II”  Episode 12/112


[[[[[[I:  “We’re talkin’ about Amazons, here.”]]]]]]

Narrator:  “Previously, on ‘Young Hercules.’

[[[[[[Cyane’s Voice:  “We’ve finally found a place we can-- call our own.  We can-- ”  Cyane:  “-- finally be at peace.”  H:  “I’m really happy for you, Cyane.”  Simula [Sim]:  “Help!  The beast attacked and dragged them away!”  Cyane:  “Who did this?”  Sim:  “Centaurs!”  Cheiron:  “I know of no such attack.”  Cavil:  “You see?  It has ever been so between the Amazons and us.  Their cunning against our strength.  They accuse us of the very crimes that they commit.”  Lilith [Lil]:  “What?!”  [Screams]  H:  “Lilith!”  Discord [Dis]:  “My plan is working-- perfectly.”  Strife:  “They’re suffering.  Uncle Ares is gonna be so pleased with us!”  Cyane:  “You must go.  You must go find Cheiron and tell him that the attacks-- must cease, and restitution paid-- or there _will_ be war!”  H’s Voice:  “Somethin’ doesn’t add up, here.  If I only had enough time to figure this all out.”  Lil:  “What if you don’t?”  H:  “The two people that I care about are gonna spend tomorrow trying to destroy each other.”  Strife:  “This war is on!”]]]]]]

Narrator:  “Now, on Young Hercules-- ”

Dis:  “The Amazons think the Centaurs have attacked them-- and the Centaurs-- think the Amazons attacked them.  Mortals are so clueless.  I love it when my plans cause pain.”

Strife [Clears throat]:  “_My_ plan.”

Dis:  “OK-- our plan?”

Strife:  “I feel gloriously-- loathesome.  Uncle Ares is gonna be _so_-- what the-- ?”

Ares:  “-- very, very upset.”

Dis:  “What’s your problem?”  

Strife:  “You know?  I bet he hates your little scheme.”  [Screams]

Ares:  “No, it’s not bad, except for-- one, tiny detail.”

Dis:  “Lemme guess-- the Amazons.”

Ares:  “Who said you could mess with my favorite mortals?”

Strife:  “Maybe next time-- you’ll listen to me.”  [Screams]

Dis:  “OK-- so maybe Strife did get a little carried away.  But after all-- the last time I checked-- dear Brother-- you were the god of war?”

Strife:  “Swords-- spears-- mayhem.  I mean-- all that great war stuff.  Isn’t that worth a few Amazons?”

Ares:  “Hmm.  War.  Amazons.  Amazons, war.  War is good.  OK, carry on.  But guys-- one last thing-- ”

Strife:  “Oh, uh, uh, uh, uh-- be sure to wash your hands after every conquest.”

Ares:  “Hercules!  That sniveling, half-mortal spawn of Zeus-- Daddy’s coddled favorite--”

Strife:  “-- that you despise?”

Ares:  “Don’t-- and let me repeat this-- don’t-- underestimate Hercules.”

Strife [Whispers]:  “OK.”

Dis:  “I’m way ahead of you.”

Dis’s Voice:  “Our miserable little half-brother’s about to be history.”

Lil:  “You haven’t said a word in the last two miles.”

H:  “Cheiron’s only given the Amazons until dawn, tomorrow to get out of Centaur territory.”

Lil:  “This is Amazon land, now!  And we aren’t gonna be chased off by anyone.  If the Centaurs want a war, then fine, we’ll give ‘em one!”

H:  “There’s got to be a better way, Lilith.”

Lil:  “There isn’t!  They’ve been hunting us down, and all we wanna do is live in peace!”

H:  “The Centaurs say the Amazons have been doing same thing to them!”

Lil:  “Oh, and you believe them?!”

H:  “I just don’t wanna see people I care about die!”

Lil:  “That’s not true!  You’re just taking that Centaur’s side!”

H:  “His name is Cheiron!  He used to mean something to you, Lilith!  He was more than just a teacher to you, and he _cared_ about you!”

H’s Voice:  “Lilith!”

H:  “Lilith!  Lilith?  Centaur tracks.”

I’s Voice:  “OK, so let me get this straight.  You’re deep inside Centaur territory.  Lilith is suddenly missing.  There are Centaur tracks-- all over her last known location-- but the Centaurs are innocent.”

I:  “Herc-- what’s wrong with this picture?”

H:  “What’s wrong with this picture is that no one’s looking at the whole picture.  Somebody planted those tracks.”

I:  “What?  With their handy-dandy, little hoofprint-makers?”

H:  “We both know that Cheiron’s too honorable to lie.”

I:  “He wouldn’t know where to start.”

H:  “I haven’t known Cyane very long, but I know that she wouldn’t lie to send her people into battle.”

I:  “Yeah, but they both _can’t_ be telling the truth.”

H:  “Whoever took Lilith, left scorch marks on a tree branch.  The Amazons don’t fight with fire.  Neither do the Centaurs.”

I:  “So-- it’s gotta be-- ”

H and I:  “-- a setup-- ”

H:  “-- that’s right.  See, she’s gotta listen to us, now.”

Cyane:  “Lilith was from your own academy.  Your blood should boil to avenge her.”

H:  “Don’t you see-- that somebody wants this rage?”

I:  “Yeah, someone wants this war.”

Cyane:  “Who?  Do ya have proof?”

Sim:  “Of course, the boys don’t.  The Centaur leader is their teacher!  He probably betrayed Lilith, himself!”

H:  “All I ask, is that you talk to Cheiron about what’s really goin’ on here, before you start something that you won’t be able to stop!”

Cyane:  “Don’t lecture me about war!  You may play at it in a schoolyard, but I’ve seen the real thing, OK?!” 

H:  “Then you know _exactly_ how important it is to find another way!”

Sim:  “There is no other way!  It has ever been so between the Centaurs and us-- their cunning against our strength-- their _lies_ against our truth.  They accuse us of the very crimes that _they_-- commit!”

H [Aside to I]:  “Where have I heard that before?”  

Sim:  “I say there is only one way to deal with Centaurs!”

Amazons:  “War!  War!  War!  War!  War!  War!  War!”

Sim and Amazons:  “War!”

Amazons:  “War!  War!  War!  War!  War!  Come on!  War!  Come on!  War!”

Cyane:  “My first duty is to my people.  We attack at dawn.”

Sim:  “Yes.”


H:  “I don’t know what to do.  You know?  Both sides are so blinded by hate and mistrust, that they won’t listen.”

I:  “Well-- you know, if you wanna trick someone, you make them so angry, they can’t think straight, and-- sure, they’d do anything you want.”

H:  “I think someone on both sides knows your trick.”

I:  “Where are you going?”

H:  “I may be able to stop this-- but if I’m not back by dawn-- ”

I:  “Back?!  Back from where?!”

H:  “Stay here-- and do anything you can to stop this war!”

I:  “What?!”

Sim:  “Looking for me?  Yah!”

H:  “How is it that an Amazon and a Centaur speak the exact same words?”

Sim:  “When trying to start a war?  Get a clue, Bro.  [Morphs]  I’m Discord-- the half-sister you’re gonna wish you never had.”

H:  “Sister?  How big a family do I have?  Well, just wait till Cyane finds out, Sis.”

Dis:  “And how’s that supposed to happen?  It’ll be a trusted Amazon’s word against yours.”

H:  “Where are the missing Amazons and Centaurs?!  Where?!”

Dis:  “OK!  Just-- back off!  They’re in the cavern of Hephaestus’ torch!  But, you’ll never  free them-- and get back by dawn.”

H:  “We’ll see about  that!”

Strife:  “Just wait till Uncle Ares finds out that _you’ve_ got a big mouth!”

Dis:  “You mean, that I’ve just sent Hercules to his doom?”

Strife:  “Uh-huh.  [Laughs, then Screams]  Phew.  Whew.”

Dis:  “I think I can take the heat.”

H:  “Lilith!  Cavil?”

Cavil:  “Yeah?”

H:  “OK.  Hi.  Lilith.”

Lil:  “Hercules-- how did you find us?”

H:  “A little goddess told me.  Hephaestus sure does do solid work.  Listen-- is there a key?”

Lil:  “Yeah.”

H:  “Uh-oh.”


Lil:  “Hercules, look out!”  [Screams]

H:  “I knew Discord gave up too easily.”

Lil:  “Look out!  Cavil!  Hercules!  Remember what Cheiron says!  Attack the archer-- not the arrow!”

H:  “Right.  Thanks for the tip.”

Lil:  “Looks like you were right all along.  Ahh-- maybe you cadets-- aren’t such a lame bunch-- after all.”

H:  “Well-- not all of us, anyway.”

Cyane:  “Your squad will destroy the Centaur rear guard, and then drive their main body into the woods.”

Amazon:  “Cyane-- the boy-- Iolaus-- requests an audience.”

Cyane:  “Hercules is not in camp.  Has his loyalty to Cheiron led him to change sides?”

I:  “Hercules doesn’t have a side.  Cyane, please listen to me.  Look, I know a con when I see one, and this has ‘Setup’ chiseled all over it.”

An Amazon:  “Your Majesty!  The Centaur scouts have taken the field.”

I:  “You gotta give Herc more time.  Come on, he’s a good guy, and he cares a lot about you.”

Cyane:  “Put him somewhere.”

I:  “Wait.  Cyane!  Cyane!  It’s not too late!  Don’t _do_ this!  You’re makin’ a mistake!”

Cyane:  “Begin the attack!”

Cheiron’s Voice:  “Steady, Brothers.”

Centaur’s Voice:  “Amazons!  Amazons!”

Amazon’s Voice:  “Archers, release!  Release!  Again!”

Cheiron:  “Take a squad and stop those archers!  We can’t let them force us into the trees, where the Amazons have the advantage!  Go!  Take care!”

Centaur’s Voice:  “The advance guard is already in position!”

Cyane:  “Half of you attack.  Force them this way.”

H:  “That was some quick thinkin’ back there.”

Lil:  “So, I’m a good warrior-- huh?”

H:  “Well-- that’s what you wanted.”

Lil:  “I was so excited when I joined the Amazons.  I mean, they were real warriors!  And, you know?  They accepted me-- a sword or an arrow solved every problem.”

H:  “It’s never that easy.”

Cyane:  “I’ll destroy you for what you’ve done to my people, Cheiron.”

Cheiron:  “Ahh!  Your lies will stain the honor of this battlefield!  Leave, or face obliteration!”

Cyane:  “Never!”

Strife:  “Wow.  [Laughs]  Look at them go at each other.”

Dis:  “You know what?  The destruction of one leader at the hand of the other-- might be just the touch we need.”

Strife:  “Of course!  That means the losing side would never-- you know-- make peace.  So-- who wins?”

Cyane:  “Leave these lands forever, Cheiron, or breathe your last.”

Cheiron:  “Kill me, and another Centaur will take my place.  Injustice cannot abide.”

H:  “Cyane!”

Strife:  “Uh!”

H:  “Uh!”

Strife:  “Is it my imagination, or is your doomed half-brother still alive?!”

H:  “I can prove that you’ve been tricked!  Stop fighting and listen!”

Strife:  “‘Stop fighting.’”

“Sim”:  “Don’t listen to him!  We must avenge our dead sisters!”

Sim:  “You mean us?”

I:  “No, it’s just a scratch.  You’ll be OK.”

“Sim”:  “Oh-- where did you get those fakes?”

Cyane:  “What?”

H:  “Don’t ask.”

Strife:  “I think they’re onto us.”  [Laughs]

Dis:  “Well, they are now.”

Dis:  “You really _blew_ it, this time.”

Strife:  “Oh!  Me?!  Well, you wait until I tell Uncle Ares that ‘Little Miss Drama Goddess’ spilled the beans to Hercules!”

Dis:  “If you live that long.”

Ares:  “Start talkin’, and make it good!”

Sim:  “Hungry?”

Centaur:  “Ah-- thanks.”

H:  “Well-- it seems like we’re always saying goodbye, huh?”

Cyane:  “Well-- it doesn’t-- it doesn’t have to be that way.”

H:  “You know I can’t stay.  I have to go back with Cheiron, and you have to lead your people.”

Cyane:  “You have the heart of an Amazon.  I pray our paths will cross again.  You know?  Since the-- the-the Fates haven’t allowed us much time, we should-- probably-- use it-- quite wisely.”

H:  “Really.”

Cyane:  “Mmm.”

H:  “Mm-hmm.”

Cyane:  “Mmm.”

H:  “Mmm.”

I:  “Hey, um-- Herc.  Whoa!” 

H:  “Oh, uh--”

I:  “Ooh!”

H:  “Ha-ha-- Iolaus.”

I:  “Ooh.”

H:  “Yeah.”

I:  “Well, this is awkward.”  [They laugh.]

H:  “You know?  We, uh-- really should talk about your timing, you know?”

I:  “Yeah.  Sorry, but, uh-- Cheiron wants to see ya.”

H:  “Uh-huh.”

Cheiron:  “Sometimes-- emotions cloud reason.  And even a teacher forgets lessons he’s taught for so long.  You reminded me of them-- and I thank you.”

Lil:  “Hey, you guys?  Hey, you aren’t leaving without me, were you?”

I:  “You’re going back to the academy?”

Lil:  “Yeah.”

I:  “That’s great.”

Lil:  “Yeah, well, there may be a few things left for-- Cheiron to teach me.  Hey, I understand what you meant, now.  I mean, I’ll never be-- one of the boys, but-- well, being different isn’t always bad.”

Cheiron:  “It can be your burden or your strength.  It’s up to you.”

I:  “Ooh-- ah!  Herc!  Can’t we stay a little longer?!  Please?  I mean, I-I really think I can learn a lot from the Amazons, you know?  Like-- I think I could-- really fit in here.”

H:  “Well-- I hate to tell you this, Iolaus-- but you’d never pass the physical.”


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