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"Dad Always Like Me Best"  Episode 24/124


Thief's Voice:  "It's your lucky day."

Old Man's Voice:  "No!  No!"

Thief's Voice:  "Shut up, old man!  Hand `em over!"

Old Man's Voice:  "Please-- not my boots!"

2nd Thief's Voice:  "Yeah-- give them to me."

Thief:  "Uh-uh-- dibs on the boots."

2nd Thief:  "No way!  You had the boots last time!  You only have
two feet."

H [Interrupting]:  "Yo-- excuse me.  Excuse me.  Don't you think
_he_ should have the boots?  Huh?"

2nd Thief:  "Can he be serious?  Hmm?"

H's Voice:  "Don't you think you should give his money pouch
back, too?"

H:  "Y'know, I mean, uh-- I really don't wanna have to, uh-- "

Hidden Thieves:  "Yahhhhh!!"

H:  "Well-- guess I have to."


Lucius [Luc]:  "Five on one-- seemed a little excessive."

H:  "A little."

Luc:  "Hands!"

H:  "What?!  Hands!  How's this?  Oh-- Hercules."

Luc:  "Lucius-- my pleasure."

H [Sighs]:  "Well-- we sure make a good team, huh?"

Luc:  "Yeah-- then again-- Zeus said you were a great fighter."

H:  "Wh-- whoa-- hold on a second.  You know Zeus?"

Luc:  "He's my father-- and you're my brother."



H:  "You sure you're OK?"

Old Man:  "Thanks to you two.  I was comin' down the path and
someone hit me from behind."

Luc:  "These forest trails aren't as safe as they look.  Head's
up on your way home."

Old Man:  "Thank you.  Thank you."

H:  "Take care.  Hey, uh-- I'm supposed to go meet some friends,
but you should definitely come along."

Luc:  "Thanks, but, uh-- I gotta keep movin'.  You know?  Places
to go-- missions to accomplish-- ya know how it is."

H:  "Come on.  Even a man on a mission needs to eat, right?  And
besides-- it's not every day that a new brother just drops into
your life.  Hey, listen-- tell me about Zeus-- huh?"

Luc:  "OK-- well-- he's actually a really funny guy."


Luc:  "So-- he's standing on Mt. Olympus, lookin' down on him--
and Zeus says to Ares, `You may be the god of war-- but you're
still goin' bald.'"  [They laugh.]

H:  "Totally true."

Lilith [Lil]:  "Wow-- I can't believe y-you saw Zeus toss Ares
off Mt. Olympus.  How often do you see your dad?"

Luc:  "Ah, it depends how busy he is.  Sometimes, only once a

H:  "Once a week."

I:  "Hmm."

H:  "You hear this?"

I:  "I know."

H:  "Once a week."

I:  "I know, I'm sorry.  Well-- Castor and Pollux are sons of
Zeus, too, and they don't see him, either."

Luc:  "Y-- you know Castor and Pollux?"

I's Voice:  "Mm-hmm."

H:  "Oh, yeah, we, uh-- we all met at the, um-- the Corinthian
Games?  Uh-- Castor's a nice guy-- huh?"

I:  "Hmm-- it's hard to believe Pollux is related to him-- or
anything human.  Herc had to settle a, uh-- problem between
Pollux and a friend of ours, Jason."

Luc:  "You're lucky to be alive-- especially after what happened
to Castor."

H:  "What are you talkin' about?"

Luc:  "Pollux killed him."

Lil's Voice:  "What happened?"

Luc:  "Castor and Pollux were alone in a temple.  There was some
yelling.  Pollux ran out.  Castor was found lying dead on the

Lil:  "Oh, I can't believe this."

I:  "We just saw those guys."

Luc:  "Hey, I'm sorry.  I know there's nothing I can say that can
make this any better but-- rest assured-- justice will be done.
Now, unfortunately-- I've gotta be on my way.  Hercules.  Iolaus.
Lilith-- it's an absolute pleasure to meet you."

Lil:  "Oh-- what a slice."  [Sighs]

Innkeeper:  "Thank you.  Come again."

H:  "So-- about your mission?  To find Pollux?"

Luc [Whispers]:  "Yeah.  [Normal Voice]  Zeus wants me to take
him back to Olympus for trial."

H:  "Can I come with you?"

Luc:  "Look, I appreciate the offer but _this_ is between Zeus
and me."

H:  "Listen.  I can help, all right?  I-I-I know where Leda
lives.  It's Pollux's mother.  Sh-she'll know where he's hiding.
Castor was my friend, OK?  Now, I need to see this through."

Luc:  "OK."

H:  "OK."


H:  "Ho-- you drove Apollo's chariot?!"

Luc:  "Just once-- man, those horses bolt.  You know, I could
barely hold on at the beginning, but-- once you get the feel for
it-- it's the ride of your life."

H:  "That is amazing!"

Luc:  "Actually, that's when Zeus talked about you.  He's been
watching you.  He likes how you handle yourself."

H:  "Get outta here!  He talks about me?!  I didn't even know he
knew I was alive!"

Luc:  "Oh, he knows, Hercules.  He knows."

H:  "Oh!  Whoa!  Zeus knows!"


Leda's:  "Castor spoke of you often, Hercules."

Leda:  "He was quite fond of you."

H:  "I'm sorry about Castor.  Um-- we were actually wondering if
you could tell us where Pollux is.  It's-it's really-- very
important that we talk to him."

Leda:  "Pollux didn't take his brother's life."

Luc:  "Maybe they got into a fight-- "

Leda:  "No, they weren't like that."

H:  "Well, with all due respect, they-they didn't really see
eye-to-eye on a lotta things, and-- with Pollux's temper-- it's--

Leda:  "No one believed they were Zeus's sons.  No one even
believed they were twins.  He'd fight anyone who teased Castor.
Once I-- asked him why and he-- told me that-- because they were
twins they were really two parts of one person, that-- the fates
had joined them, like the two halves of the moon.  He could never
hurt his brother."

H:  "I'm sure-- that Zeus will be merciful."

Leda:  "If he were merciful, he would give me _back_ Castor.  The
king of the gods didn't lift a finger to protect our son."

Luc:  "You expect Zeus to protect him from his own brother?"

H:  "Uh-uh-- if Pollux didn't kill Castor then-- his name will be
cleared.  But if he did-- he has to answer for his crime.  One
thing is sure-- the truth has to come out-- for all of us."

Leda:  "He's in Rhamanus."


Luc:  "Rhamanus!  It makes perfect sense!  Pollux went there to
fight.  You did a great job with her back there.  Uh-- and what
was all that stuff about Zeus?  I mean, she should just be
_grateful_ she even _knows_ him!"

H:  "Lucius-- her son just died.  She's allowed to be upset with
whoever she wants."

Luc:  "Yeah, yeah-- true enough.  I-- I just meant she shouldn't
blame Zeus for something Pollux did."

H:  "Well, _if_-- he did-- right?"

Luc:  "Which is exactly what we're gonna find out from Zeus."


Luc:  "Here's where we split up.  Uh-- supplies-- let's divvy up
what we need, so we can be back on the road by nightfall."

H:  "Ah, right, `cause, uh-- the sooner we get to Rhamanus, the
sooner we get to Olympus, right?"

Luc:  "Right."

H:  "Right."

Luc:  "Meet you back here at sunset."

H:  "Hmm."


Luc's Mother:  "You're back sooner than I expected."

Luc:  "Disappointed?"

Luc's Mother:  "Is he with you?"

Luc:  "Yeah.  And, no-- he doesn't suspect a thing.  But you
haven't answered my question.  Aren't you glad to see me?"

Luc's Mother:  "Oh-h-h-h-h-- what mother doesn't love to see her
son?  By the way-- I love what you've done to the place."

Luc:  "When it's finished-- Zeus will have to notice me."

Luc's Mother:  "So our plan is unfolding-- "

Luc:  "Like-- a flower.  Soon-- Pollux will join his beloved
brother on the other side-- all thanks to Hercules."



H:  "So-- we'll be in Rhamanus about midday tomorrow.  Then-- we
need to figure out some strategy, how we're gonna deal with

Luc:  "Come on-- we're the dream team.  Pollux won't know what
hit up."

H:  "Excuse me?"

Luc:  "It's just a figure of speech."

H:  "Sorry, ha-ha.  I'm just a little nervous about meeting Zeus,
you know?  I mean-- am I gonna measure up?"

Luc:  "Yeah-- having the king of the gods as your father isn't as
fantastic as most people think.  It's a lot of pressure to be the
strongest-- the bravest-- smartest."

H:  "The best.  It's funny, uh-- my friends are great and
everything-- don't get me wrong-- but it's-- you really
understand what it's like to be-- "

Luc:  "-- caught between Olympus and Earth?"

H:  "Yeah.  You know, I betcha there's lots like us-- other
children 'a Zeus-- ya know?"

Luc:  "You gotta be kidding.  I mean, they're hardly like us,
Hercules.  See-- I get to ride Apollo's chariot whenever I want."

H:  "Well-- I thought you said you only got to ride it once."

Luc:  "Once-- I mean, a dozen times-- what, are you suddenly the
official score-keeper?"

H:  "No.  Sorry-- my mistake."

Luc:  "First thing tomorrow-- we work out a plan to deal with

H:  "Ah, sure-- whatever.  Good night."


H:  "Ah-- there it is.  Whoa, whoa.  There's Pollux-- I think."

Luc:  "Come on."


Pollux [Pol]:  "Put down your weapons.  You'll find no battle

H:  "Pollux-- it is you."

Pol:  "Hercules-- it's been a while."

Luc:  "Long enough fo you to kill your brother, Castor."

H:  "Lucius."

Pol:  "You don't know what you're saying."

H:  "Then tell us what happened."

Pol:  "All right."

Luc:  "I love this, uh-- `Soldier 'a peace' routine.  No one
would ever suspect you offed your brother.  But I gotta say-- the
robe?  It's a bit much."

Pol:  "Before my brother's death, you wouldn't have lived to have
finished that sentence.  And nothing's greater to me than
fighting for my honor."

H's Voice:  "What changed?"

Pol:  "I was training-- when my mother came to me to tell me of
Castor's death.  My brother always said that my fighting would
only bring about tragedy and ruin.  But I was gonna prove him
wrong.  But when our mother came that day-- I looked at the sword
in my hand-- and I knew that _I_ had caused Castor's death."

Luc:  "Sounds like a confession to me."

Pol:  "As long as I fought-- I was part of the violence-- that
ended his life.  The fates-- brought us together at birth, like
the halves of the moon.  And now Castor's dead.  His light-- is
destined to shine through me."

H:  "You didn't do it, didja?"

Luc's Voice:  "Of course, he didn't do it."


H:  "Uh!"

Luc:  "Back so soon?  Now, I bet you're just _dying_ to meet
Zeus, huh?  Well-- get in line!"

H:  "Pollux!"

Pol:  "Hercules!"

Luc:  "Quite a dive, huh?  I say-- major points for, uh-- degree
'a difficulty.  You're a disappointment, big man!  Pollux, the
great gladiator-- what do I find?  Pollux, the peacemonger.
Destroying you isn't gonna be any more difficult than
destroying-- "

H's Voice:  "Castor?"

Luc:  "Correct.  Ya finally caught on."

H:  "Ah, so-- how'd ya do it?"

Luc:  "It was nothin', really?  He was already at the temple-- a
little lost lamb, all alone without his keeper, Pollux.  A--
flick of the sword-- and I was off to meet you."

H:  "Why didn't you just get rid of me when you first met me?
Why'd you have to bring me all the way out here?!"

Luc:  "Pollux was a legend'ry fighter, remember?  I thought you
could have been of some use."

H:  "And I'm next, right?  It's Castor, and then Pollux, and me,
but-- here's a question for ya-- why?!"

Luc:  "You make it sound so personal.  Zeus wants one of his sons
to rise above the rest, and from where I'm standing-- you may be
the cute one-- but I'm the one who's gonna take over Olympus."

H:  "You really think Zeus wants you to take us all out?!"

Luc:  "Forgetting your family history, little brother.  Zeus'
father eliminated his brothers and sisters.  Zeus-- erased his
father!  To be truly great, ya can't let something as _cheap_ as
sentiment get in the way!"

H:  "Oh, I understand.  You're insane."

Luc:  "Insane?  Take a look in the mirror.  You've done
everything I wanted you to-- as long as you thought it was for
Daddy.  So-- family first."

Pol's Voice:  "Please, Lucius!  No!"

H:  "You better re-think your priorities."


Luc:  "You don't deserve to live.  You were a mistake-- like all
the others."

H:  "Lucius!  No-o-o-o-o-o-!"

Pol:  [Screams]

H's Voice:  "You're makin' a mistake!"

Luc:  "Mistakes can be erased.  What an embarrassment you must be
to Zeus."

H:  "Oh, really?  I thought Zeus liked the way I move, huh?  You
never rode Apollo's chariot.  All these stories you made up are
just lies."

Luc:  "No, no-- no.  Z-- Zeus loves me.  OK.  It's just such a
shame about our brother."

Luc's Voice:  "This isn't over!"

Pol:  "Oh, boy!  And I thought I had issues with _our_ father!"

H:  "Well-- it doesn't look like Lucius is gonna be resolving his
any time soon.  You all right, there?"

Pol:  "Uh-huh."

H:  "All right."


Leda:  "Pollux-- my baby.  Thank the gods.  I thought I'd lost

Pol:  "It's OK, Mother."

Leda:  "Hercules-- thank you so much for watching over my son.
Promise me you'll stay for supper."

H:  "Ah, well-- sure thing.  I promise."

Pol:  "I guess, now, I'm supposed to thank you for saving my

H:  "Oh-- no, no-- don't do that.  Ah-- I led Lucius right to

Pol:  "No, you're being too hard on yourself.  One way or
another-- he would have hunted me down.  Lucius is crazy."

H:  "You know?  Even though everything he did was wrong-- I still
understand him?  `Cause I think about Zeus all the time, too--
you know?  About meeting him, about-- what would he say?  You
know?  About what would I say?  But-- sometimes, I think that,
uh-- I'd do anything to make that moment happen."

Pol:  "You're not Lucius."

H:  "How can you be sure?"

Pol:  "You're a good person, Hercules.  You're just still tryin'
to figure out who you are.  Castor was both my brother and my
guide.  He led me to my true self.  Just as you will be led by
your guides-- and your friends."

H:  "And my family."

Pol:  "Hmm."

H:  "Come here.  Ah, all right.  Let's get sum'in' to eat, huh?
All right."


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