Whoosh! Issue 21 - June 1998

Your Handy Dandy Guide To The Bardly Life

Provided by the Puppet's Playground for Creative Gab Studies
in conjunction with Saint Gabbarella's School For Wayward Bards
Clan MacGab Home Page
Edited by Kate Maynard; prepared by Jodi Norman, Pam Dunn and Gary Thomas.
2nd Edition, copyright © 1998 held by authors

The Guilty Bardies
How It All Began
The Gabberish Lexicon Contents

The Gabberish Lexicon -- Contents


by Carmen Carter
As we are all aware, the internet is a breeding ground for jokes, puns, skits and other forms of humor centered on Xena: Warrior Princess. However, the Xenaverse mailing was the birthplace for a special form of wit known as Gabberish. Over the past three seasons, Gabrielle and her occupation as bard have been the basis for puns and word play among an enthusiastic group of ROCkers and Gabfans.

Kate Maynard (aka Perfessor Puppet), the instigator of this madness, pulled together these postings into an official Lexicon, which presents the history of Clan MacGab, an off-the-wall creation of internet psyches in collision. Kate's original post sparked a landslide of responses, which have been organized into the terminology section of the Lexicon. The current edition of the Lexicon (updated March, 1998) includes contributions by several scores of fans from the Xenaverse, Gabsclan and MacGab mailing lists, the latter of which is now home to the Clan MacGab.

Gabrielle has been a focus for any number of discussions and creative efforts ranging from the light-hearted Gabberish to serious analytical discourse on the importance of her character as an heroic archetype. Our thanks to Renee O'Connor for doing such a great job with a wonderful character.

The Guilty Bardies
... A Roll Call Of Gabberfluent Contributors

ArLEEEne, aka Lt Thinky PantsBatBabeArlene Bolton
Joan BondiraBeth CavertbjStranger
BuckeyeCarl, the Chrome BarbarianCarmen Carter
DataSpockMary DraganisJulie Enghusen (Gabfan)
ephanyJames Fadden, aka RitanserinJeff Hall
GabbasmurfGila!Martin Hooper
ismene, aka MMarilyn, Muse of MacGab CultchaJessicaJustJack
Kimmie KatWendy KolbLorenthia
LuciaMaddog MagsKirsten Massey
Kate Maynard, aka Perfessor PuppetDruth McClureMskitte, aka Karen, Warrior Nurse
Paige The Nutrasweet Teenpanther/Sandie BrownPatti, a Joan-Affiliated Entity
PhotieJACQRAT, aka Jacquie ProppsQuest, aka Fawn Patton
RagnaROCRenee O'ConnorRobin, aka Jeezil Pete, Jr.
SAL_FANScully, archfiendShadow Dancer
SickySimahoyoTom Simpson
SoundWarriorSue SteinikeStone Cold
Taurus-Rat Xena-Fan/Stephanie W. WongGary ThomasLisa Jain Thompson

How It All Began

Perfessor Puppet, a notorious sock of a Gabfan, writes to Xenaverse following an extended flamewar concerning the legality of using the word "Xenite."

With all due respect to the recent discussions of - dare I say it? - Xenite terminology, I must admit that this unrepentant Gabfan felt somewhat insulated from the heat of those (now extinguished) flamewars. However, and to my horror, I have suddenly become aware of some type of residual paranoia that has polluted the Puppet's Playground Institute for Creative Gab Studies.

Now every time I use a phrase from the Official Gabberish Lexicon, Collegiate Edition (abridged), I start looking for hidden microphones, flies on the wall, carefully disguised video surveillance cameras (I just murdered my toaster, having convinced myself it was looking at me rather strangely) and corporate lawyers who look remarkably like Scottish terriers.

The question is: can a puppet be sued for infringement of copyright? If Carmen types the words Gabfan, Gabbing plaster, Gabberwocky, Gabriellite, Bardbarella, et al, should she be held responsible for any potential lawsuits, or is she just reporting some hearsay plucked from the sock drawer?

Well, in order to circumvent any legal hassles that might pop up in the future, I've taken the liberty of writing the Lord High Constable of Scotland, seeking official recognition for the Clan MacGab Society.

From my standpoint, there would be plenty of advantages, not the least of which is that any party daring to sue the clan would have to be sequestered for the duration of the trial and fed nothing but Scottish food until a verdict was reached. (Holy Haggis Hurl!) Clan members would be honor bound to wear lots of funny clothes sans underwear and gather once a year at Grandfather Mountain for the traditional Hellene-Caledonian Gabgames, where we would drink lots of single malt whisky and throw telephone poles just for fun. (I have my own telephone pole with the name "Talmadeus" written on it; but then, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar). Best of all, though, is the chance to practice the Gabberish dialect without fear of lawsuits, if not ridicule.

Therefore, I have submitted to the Lord High Constable the following outline for the formation of the Clan MacGab Society:

Crest: On a chapeau, a salamander, salient
Motto: Hummers to the Queen
War Cry: Whoops!
Phylum: Gabrachiopoteidaia

SEPT FAMILIES: Gabboon, Gabwart, Gabstein, O'Gabby,
Gabouillabaise, Gabfly, Gabski, D'Gablio, Van Gab,
Gabbermeir and MacGab. All alternate spellings, aliases
and puppets acceptable as per federal guidelines for
the witness protection program.

Hmmmmm....This could work!
After a time, the Perfessor followed with this post:

******* UPDATE ON THE CLAN MacGAB SOCIETY ******* It's OFFICIAL! The formation of the CLAN MacGAB SOCIETY has been unceremoniously rejected by the Lord High Constable of Scotland, leaving us free to make up all of our own rules as we go along. What a relief! [I was a little suspicious anyway when he inquired whether the Gabster might qualify as the next Princess of Wales.] Anyway, now that we're unofficial and underway, the lessons begin. We're going to start with "Gabberish" first, and please feel free to add your own words/phrases to the lexicon. We're also soliciting suggestions for the colors of the Clan MacGab tartan.


GABBERISH: The official lexicon of the Poteidaian Potentate of Gabdom.

BARDBARELLA: Renee O'Connor as Gabrielle as Xena as played by Lucy Lawless; usually in reference to THE GREATER GOOD, but can also refer to any scene or episode in which the Gab is uncharacteristically riled. Proper usage: "Hey, was she doing a Bardbarella or what!"

GABBING PLASTER: The official art material of Gabdom.

GABOUILLABAISE: Poteidaian fast food. Usually anything that comes with a side order of nachos and a margarita.

WHOOPS!: War cry of Clan MacGab; the origins of the war cry are still somewhat obscure, but rumor has it that Lucy herself was responsible when, during the resuscitation scene in IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE, her fist missed its mark by a crucial few inches.

GABRIGGEPHOBIA: [from the root word brigge, ME.] A fear of suspension bridges, especially those overlooking bottomless pits and held up by rotting twine.


ROCkers: Serious Renee O'Connor fans. We don't mess around.

*Next Week's lesson: Gabberish sports terminology.


Perfessor Puppet --- 'I have many *useless* skills!'

And then the ball started rolling, as Gabfans and ROCkers from Sweden to New Zealand checked in at MacGab Headquarters. The result of this enthusiastic participation was the following Gabberish Lexicon.

Who publishes the Gabberish Lexicon?

Kate Maynard, aka Perfessor Puppet, edits the Gabberish Lexicon, with invaluable assistance from the Clan Archivists and Clan Tanist. Should you have any questions about credits, contributions or general comments about the Gabberish Lexicon itself, you may send a message to her at:


However, no direct submissions to the Lexicon will be accepted via the editor. Currently, you must participate on the MacGab mailing list in order to be a contributor.

The Gabberish Lexicon
Your Handy-Dandy Guide To The Bardly Life

The Arts & Entertainment
The Bard & Her Fans
Bard Couture
Business and Finance
Down On the Range
Fighting & Weapons
Film & Television
Food & Drink
The Gabberfluent Bard
Gabberwocky, A Universal Language for the 21st Century
Herstory Revisited
Science, Medicine and Technology
Sports & Gabgames

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