Whoosh! Issue 40 - January 2000


The Words, The Lines, The Action




Do I Hear an Echo?



Lady, can you spare a dinar? I need a beer.

Elkton, the blind ex-mystic of the Cult of Morpheus, sizes Xena up
(DREAMWORKER)


"Who are you?"
Darius to Xena
CHARIOTS OF WAR
Elkton to Xena
DREAMWORKER
Xena to her evil side in the dreamscape
DREAMWORKER
Soldiers to Gabrielle and Agranon
THE PATH NOT TAKEN
Hyperion to Xena
THE TITANS
Xerxes to Xena
THE BLACK WOLF
Philemon to Xena & Plato to Xena
WARRIOR ... PRINCESS
Xena to Marcus' ghost
Gabrielle to Atyminius
MORTAL BELOVED
Damon to Gabrielle
THE PRODIGAL
Zora to Xena
ALTARED STATES
Old lady to Callisto
CALLISTO
Gabrielle as a slave - to Xena
REMEMBER NOTHING
Xena to Cyrene(Ares)
Cyrene to Callisto as Xena
INTIMATE STRANGER
King Silvus to the 1st Fate
A SOLSTICE CAROL
Janice to Mel
Janice to Jacques S'Er
Smythe to Ares
THE XENA SCROLLS

There! I've just kicked you in le hinder, you pompous frog!

Jacques S'er is impervious to most things.



Autolycus to Xena's spirit
THE QUEST
Velasca to Callisto
A NECESSARY EVIL
Gabrielle to Xena
A DAY IN THE LIFE
Soldier to Xena
Gabrielle to Xena
THE PRICE

"You're scaring me."
Xena to Gabrielle
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?
Gabrielle to Xena
THE PRICE

"Give it up."
Cyrene to Xena
SINS OF THE PAST
Toxeus to Xena
DEATH IN CHAINS
Cupid to Aphrodite
FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS
Xena to Meleager
THE EXECUTION
Draco to Xena
A COMEDY OF EROS

"This is ridiculous."
Atyminius to Xena
MORTAL BELOVED
Hades to Xena as Callisto
INTIMATE STRANGER
Velasca re: Gabrielle being queen
THE QUEST
Gabrielle re: Ileandra and Joxer
FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS

"Funny."
Gabrielle to Xena
THE GREATER GOOD
Jacques S'Er to Xena re: people are trying to rest
THE XENA SCROLLS

"Give me that!"
Xena to Gabrielle re: Agranon's medallion
DREAMWORKER
Xena to Joxer re: a knife
GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN
Callisto to Gabrielle re: ambrosia
A NECESSARY EVIL

"Wait until they get a load of me!"
Thersites to Gabrielle
A FISTFUL OF DINARS
Ares
THE XENA SCROLLS
Joxer to Xena re: where Driads can be found
GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN
Velasca re: the Hall of Ambrosia
THE QUEST
Xena re: open area to where Velasca is to be drawn
A NECESSARY EVIL
Vidalis to Xena and Palaemon re: the crematorium
BLIND FAITH

"I need to get into the castle."
Xena to Ophelia
CRADLE OF HOPE
Xena to Senticles
A SOLSTICE CAROL

"The sentence is death."
Melosa re: Phantes
HOOVES AND HARLOTS

Once you've had a Centaur, you don't go back.

Phantes, son of Tyldus, husband of Ephiny, father of Xenon.



Argus re: Meleager
THE EXECUTION

"My sword!"
Solon
ORPHAN OF WAR
Joxer to Gabrielle
TEN LITTLE WARLORDS
Xena
LOST MARINER

"You could have had it all."
Ares to Xena
TIES THAT BIND
Ares to Xena
THE XENA SCROLLS

"Someday."
Xena to Darius re: having a family of her own
CHARIOTS OF WAR
Ares to Xena
TIES THAT BIND
Virgilius to Xena as Callisto
TEN LITTLE WARLORDS
Xena to Gabrielle re: the Horde returning
THE PRICE

"Until next time."
Ares to Xena
THE RECKONING
Ares to Xena
TIES THAT BIND

"Keep talking."
Gabrielle to Manus
DREAMWORKER
Xena to Agranon
THE PATH NOT TAKEN

"I need to talk to you."
Karas to Sisyphus
DEATH IN CHAINS
Xena to Flora
THE BLACK WOLF

"We have to talk."
Tynus to Darius
CHARIOTS OF WAR
Gabrielle to Xena
A COMEDY OF EROS

"We need to talk."
Xena to Sisyphus
DEATH IN CHAINS

Need a light?

Sisyphus, the consummate magician
(DEATH IN CHAINS)



Xena to Autolycus
THE ROYAL COUPLE OF THIEVES
Gabrielle to Lila
THE PRODIGAL
David to Xena
GIANT KILLER
Xena to King Silvus
A SOLSTICE CAROL
Draco to Xena
A COMEDY OF EROS

"I'm going home."
Xena to Draco
SINS OF THE PAST
Toris to Xena
DEATH MASK
Perdicus to Gabrielle
Gabrielle to Xena
RETURN OF CALLISTO

"Is it time?"
Philius to Xena
THE TITANS
Gabrielle to Xena
RETURN OF CALLISTO

"It's time."
Xena to Joxer
RETURN OF CALLISTO
Xena to Gabrielle
A DAY IN THE LIFE
A voice to the executioner
THE EXECUTION

"I'm impressed."
Xena to Gabrielle after she punches Manus
DREAMWORKER
Xena to Marcus re: the fake well
THE PATH NOT TAKEN
Xena's spirit to Autolycus
THE QUEST

"Get on the horse."
Xena to Gabrielle
CHARIOTS OF WAR
Xena to Gabrielle
DREAMWORKER

"You're dead."
Gabrielle to Marcus
MORTAL BELOVED
Judge Arbus to Meleager
THE EXECUTION

"I can't feel anything."
The Centaur after Xena blocks off the flow of blood in preparation for repairing his damaged lung
HOOVES AND HAROLOTS
The soldier after Xena blocks the flow of blood in preparation for cutting off his leg
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?

"I don't want to die."
Phantes to Gabrielle
HOOVES AND HARLOTS
Background voice in opening scene
CALLISTO

He's faking it. I saw him blink

The episode CALLISTO opens to general mayhem and confusion.



Wounded soldier to Xena
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?
King Silvus to Melana
A SOLSTICE CAROL
Gabrielle to Velasca
A NECESSARY EVIL

"I've got a bad feeling about this."
Xena to Marcus outside of Hades' castle
MORTAL BELOVED
Gabrielle to Xena looking at Toris standing alone in the clearing
DEATH MASK

"I think I'm going to be sick."
Gabrielle re: taking out Callisto
INTIMATE STRANGER
Gabrielle re: Joxer's and Ileandra's mushiness
FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS
Gabrielle to Xena re: after eating the raw squid
LOST MARINER

"Here it is."
Hyperion to Thea re: the scroll that would awaken other Titans
THE TITANS
Talus to Gabrielle re: the escape tunnel at the castle
DEATH IN CHAINS
Matron to Gabrielle re: her lodging assignment
ATHENS CITY ACADEMY
Xena to Gabrielle and Marcus re: Atyminius' trail
MORTAL BELOVED
Agis re: the baby
WARRIOR ... PRINCESS ... TRAMP

"It's going to be a long night."
Gabrielle
A FISTFUL OF DINARS
Gabrielle
FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS

"Get a grip."
Xena as Callisto to Ares
TEN LITTLE WARLORDS
Aphrodite to Cupid
FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS

"Get out of here!"
Damon to Gabrielle and Lila
THE PRODIGAL
Xena to Janice and Jacques S'Er
THE XENA SCROLLS
Xena to Gabrielle and the natives
DESTINY

"Get out of the way."
Town leader to Gabrielle
SINS OF THE PAST

"Get out of my way."
Cycnus to Sphaerus
CHARIOTS OF WAR

Lick my boots, pond scum

Sphaerus had a pretty severe pop. It's best that Xena kabobbed him.



Atrius to Kirilus' men
Xena to Gabrielle
TIES THAT BIND
Gabrielle to Salmoneus
THE GREATER GOOD
Xena to Gabrielle
ORPHAN OF WAR
Meg to Gabrielle
WARRIOR ... PRINCESS ... TRAMP

"Do something!"
Gabrielle to Joxer
CALLISTO
Dagon to Goliath
GIANT KILLER
Ares to Xena as Callisto
TEN LITTLE WARLORDS
Gabrielle as Xena passes over
DESTINY

"This way."
Gabrielle to Pandora
CRADLE OF HOPE
A bounty hunter
PROMETHEUS
Toxeus' men
DEATH IN CHAINS
Tor after a fight with Xena and Ephiny
HOOVES AND HARLOTS
Helen to Xena
BEWARE GREEKS
Thessalian soldier to Xena, Gabrielle, Ephiny, and Marmax as they reached the healing temple
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?
Agis to his men
WARRIOR ... PRINCESS ... TRAMP
Arbus to his men
THE EXECUTION
Xena to Gabrielle running from the Horde
THE PRICE
Gabrielle to the virgins
A COMEDY OF EROS

"Join with me."
Draco to Xena
SINS OF THE PAST
Atrius (Ares) to Xena
TIES THAT BIND

"Don't let her carry the water by herself."
Gabrielle to Lila re: their mother
SINS OF THE PAST
Gabrielle to Lila re: their mother
THE PRODIGAL

"There you are."
Gabrielle to Xena
HERE SHE COMES ...

Mrs. Robinson!

Gabrielle and Xena bond in HERE SHE COMES...MISS AMPHIPOLIS.



Velasca to Gabrielle
A NECESSARY EVIL
Gabrielle to Joxer
FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS
Draco to Gabrielle
A COMEDY OF EROS

"There it is."
Xena to Gabrielle re: the oracle's temple
PROMETHEUS
Gabrielle to Thersites re: the ruby in the temple
FISTFUL OF DINARS
Meleager to Xena re: the sword
THE EXECUTION

"It's a suicide mission."
Gabrielle to Iolaus re: freeing Prometheus
PROMETHEUS
Jonathan to Xena re: taking on Goliath
GIANT KILLER

"Run for your lives!"
Priest to the children
THE TITANS
Andrus to villagers
TIES THAT BIND
Guards
RETURN OF CALLISTO

"Don't listen to her."
Deiphobus to Paris re: Xena
BEWARE GREEKS
Polonius to Orion re: Gabrielle
ATHENS CITY ACADEMY

"Don't touch her!"
Xena to slave boss re: Gabrielle
REMEMBER NOTHING
Gabrielle to Joxer re: Ileandra
FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS

"I know."
Marcus to Xena re: saving Jana
THE PATH NOT TAKEN
Marcus to Xena re: her thinking about him a lot
MORTAL BELOVED
Xena to Atrius re: "All I wanted was to be with you."
ALTARED STATES
Xena to Toris re: his capture being a trap for her
DEATH MASK
Xena to Gabrielle re: the choices Goliath made
GIANT KILLER
Xena to Gabrielle re: a troop of guards outside the orphanage
A SOLSTICE CAROL
Gabrielle to Xena after Xena was revived with the ambrosia
THE QUEST
Ephiny to Gabrielle re: the joke about Amazons & parades
A NECESSARY EVIL
Xena to Callisto re: Gabrielle being wanted by Velasca
A NECESSARY EVIL
Gabrielle to Xena re: using mirrors to kill giants works
A DAY IN THE LIFE
Joxer to Ileandra re: him setting her on fire
FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS

"I've missed you."
Marcus to Xena
THE PATH NOT TAKEN
Marcus to Xena
Xena to Marcus
MORTAL BELOVED
Toris to Xena
DEATH MASK
Callisto to Xena
RETURN OF CALLISTO
Callisto to Xena
INTIMATE STRANGER
Callisto to Xena
A NECESSARY EVIL

What's so funny about my leather bikini style armor?

Callisto has a weird kinda thang for Xena.


"I won't do it!"
Xena to Morpheus
DREAMWORKER
Xena to Gabrielle re: teaching her to use a sword
RETURN OF CALLISTO

"Sorry to disappoint."
Xena to Joxer re: her not being a Bacchae
GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN
Lucy Lawless to Charlie Gibson
INTERVIEW ON GOOD MORNING AMERICA (5-1-97)

"Don't you ever touch my horse."
Xena to Gabrielle
THE TITANS
Xena to a soldier
THE GREATER GOOD

"You first."
Xena to Perdicus re: going inside Troy's gates
BEWARE GREEKS
Xena to Kirilus re: laying down weapons
TIES THAT BIND

"Give me a break."
Xena to Gabrielle
TIES THAT BIND
Gabrielle to Xena
Xena to Gabrielle
HERE SHE COMES ...

"You are so good."
Marcus to Xena
THE PATH NOT TAKEN
Xena to one of the soldiers
A DAY IN THE LIFE

"I want her."
Toxeus re: Xena
DEATH IN CHAINS
Draco to Xena re: Gabrielle
A COMEDY OF EROS
Meleager to Xena
THE EXECUTION

"You listen to me."
Xena to Toris
DEATH MASK
Xena to Gabrielle
RETURN OF CALLISTO
Xena to Janice
THE XENA SCROLLS
Argus to the villagers
THE EXECUTION

"Don't be foolish."
Ares to Xena
TIES THAT BIND
Kaleipus to Xena
ORPHAN OF WAR

"Oh, you're good, Xena."
Callisto
RETURN OF CALLISTO
Draco
A COMEDY OF EROS

"There's another one."
Dagon re: Gabrielle
GIANT KILLER
Xena as Callisto to Gabrielle re: warlords meeting
TEN LITTLE WARLORDS

"You look like my best friend."
Xena to Gabrielle as a slave
REMEMBER NOTHING

In this alternative reality, I have bad hair.

Yeah, she does sort of look like someone we all know.



Gabrielle to Meg
WARRIOR ... PRINCESS ... TRAMP

"We don't want any trouble."
Gabrielle's father to Xena
SINS OF THE PAST
Man on a horse to Xena re: Atrius being a horse thief
TIES THAT BIND
Fish merchant to Callisto as Xena and Gabrielle
TEN LITTLE WARLORDS

"I like it!"
Man in tavern to Gabrielle re: being a friend to Gabrielle
Xena
CHARIOTS OF WAR
Gabrielle re: the breast dagger
DREAMWORKER
Orion to Gabrielle re: his name
Gabrielle to Homer re: his name
ATHENS CITY ACADEMY
Autolycus to Xena re: her plan to retrieve the chest
THE ROYAL COUPLE OF THIEVES
Agis to Meg re: her suggestion to stab King Lias
WARRIOR ... PRINCES ... TRAMP
Ares to Callisto as Xena re: Gabrielle being contentious
TEN LITTLE WARLORDS
Senticles to Gabrielle and Xena re: coming down a chimney
A SOLSTICE CAROL

"I like that."
Xena to Arkel
THE ROYAL COUPLE OF THIEVES
Callisto re: Joxer calling her Warrior Queen
CALLISTO
Xena to Draco after he says, "Right to it, shall we?"
DEATH MASK
Agis to Meg
WARRIOR ... PRINCESS ... TRAMP
Joxer to Sarpedon re: him fighting with passion
FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS

"A deal's a deal."
Draco to Xena
SINS OF THE PAST
Xena to Gabrielle
A SOLSTICE CAROL

"Don't even think about it."
Xena to Gabrielle re: following her
SINS OF THE PAST
Xena to Gabrielle re: opening Pandora's box
CRADLE OF HOPE
Xena to Autolycus re: sleeping in the same bed
THE ROYAL COUPLE OF THIEVES
Xena to Gabrielle re: her queasy stomach
ALTARED STATES
Xena to Gabrielle re: telling Solon that Xena is his mother
ORPHAN OF WAR
Xena to Palaemon re: getting out of the handcuffs
BLIND FAITH

"Look what I've got."
Malik re: a "captured" Xena
DEATH MASK
Dagnine re: the Ixion Stone
ORPHAN OF WAR
Smythe re: the tablet that holds the key to the cave
THE XENA SCROLLS

"When the living think of the dead ..."
Marcus to Xena
MORTAL BELOVED
Xena as Callisto to Callisto as Xena
INTIMATE STRANGER

Gabby, could you watch where you put your stick?

Gabrielle and Cyrene are confused as to which body Xena and Callisto are in at any given moment in INTIMATE STRANGER.



M'Lila to Xena
DESTINY
Gabrielle to Xena re: Goliath
A DAY IN THE LIFE

"You don't strike me as the mercenary type."
Thersites to Xena
A FISTFUL OF DINARS
Autolycus to Xena
THE ROYAL COUPLE OF THIEVES

"This is the key."
Janice re: tablet found by a worker
THE XENA SCROLLS
Velasca re: Dagger of Helios
THE QUEST

"Do her."
Callisto to Joxer re: killing Gabrielle
CALLISTO
Gabrielle to Hower re: people getting close to Xena
A DAY IN THE LIFE

"If I wanted to kill you, you'd be dead by now."
Xena to King Gregor
CRADLE OF HOPE
Xena to Dagnine
ORPHAN OF WAR
Xena to Senticles
A SOLSTICE CAROL
Xena to the little man
THE EXECUTION

"Kill them all!"
Cycnus to Sphaerus re: the villagers
CHARIOTS OF WAR
Xena to her new army re: the villagers
TIES THAT BIND

I can catch more bugs in my mouth this way.

"Kill them all" or "Kill the mall" -- YOU DECIDE


"We have no argument with you."
Centaurs to Xena
HOOVES AND HARLOTS
Solari and the Amazons to Velasca
A NECESSARY EVIL

"Count on it."
Xena to Mezentius
THE PATH NOT TAKEN
Xena to Gabrielle re: having a plan to get through
BEWARE GREEKS

"I'm counting on it!"
Xena to Toris re: what bandits do to women
DEATH MASK
Xena to Gabrielle re: rocks falling on Velasca
A NECESSARY EVIL
Xena to Draco re: him being in love with Gabrielle
A COMEDY OF EROS

"Why don't you get some rest."
Gabrielle to Rhea
TIES THAT BIND
Ulysses to Xena
ULYSSES

"You fools!"
Damon to his men
THE PRODIGAL
Bacchus to Bacchae
GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN

"In your dreams."
Gabrielle to Callisto re: Callisto taking on and beating Xena
CALLISTO
Xena to Gareth re: him squashing her like an insect
A DAY IN THE LIFE

"All I'm asking ....."
Xena to Hades re: giving Marcus his life back
MORTAL BELOVED
Xena to Anteus re: sparing Icus' life
ALTARED STATES

"You're pathetic."
Atrius to Tarkus
ALTARED STATES
Head soldier to the troops
A SOLSTICE CAROL
Gabrielle to Autolycus
Xena's spirit to Autolycus
THE QUEST

" ..... leave this valley forever."
Xena to Draco
SINS OF THE PAST
Gabrielle to Talmadeus' men
THE GREATER GOOD

"Here they are."
Salmoneus re: five semi-finalists
HERE SHE COMES ...
Xena to Pinullus re: the virgins
A COMEDY OF EROS

"Agreed"
Xena's reflection in the barrel to Autolycus re: her leaving his limbs and bodily functions alone
THE QUEST
Xena to Palaemon re: if he saves her from falling, he'll get another shot at a duel with her
BLIND FAITH

"I don't think so."
Peranis to Xena re: believing her story
THE RECKONING
Xena to Tesa re: going to King Lias' bedroom
WARRIOR ... PRINCESS
Gabrielle to Joxer re: Xena needing his help
WARRIOR ... PRINCESS ... TRAMP
Warlord's response re: stopping the killing of each other
TEN LITTLE WARLORDS
Janice to Mel re: Mel helping to translate ancient writings
THE XENA SCROLLS

Do you think she wears boxer shorts, too?

Janice and Mel...what a team!


Joxer to Gabrielle re: hitting the head being the reason he can't remember
FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS
Vidalis to Gabrielle re: taking her to see the king
BLIND FAITH

"It must have been an empty experience."
Gabrielle to Petracles
A FISTFUL OF DINARS
Gabrielle to Marmax
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?

"I'll live."
Xena to Joxer who proclaims he's going his own way
RETURN OF CALLISTO
Xena to Gabrielle after she hits Xena in the nose with her staff
A DAY IN THE LIFE
Xena to Gabrielle re: Ulysses staying to live with Penelope
ULYSSES

"Everybody makes mistakes."
Xena to Gabrielle re: trying to rule the world with the Titans
THE TITANS
Xena to Atrius and Gabrielle re: finding a knife under the body
TIES THAT BIND

"I need your help."
Hyperion to Thea
THE TITANS
Xena to Melosa
HOOVES AND HARLOTS

"Don't make me hurt you."
Joxer to Callisto
RETURN OF CALLISTO
Joxer to guard
WARRIOR ... PRINCESS ... TRAMP

"Keep quiet, and don't step on any ... "
Xena to Petracles in the Hall of Silence re: skulls
A FISTFUL OF DINARS
Xena to Joxer in the graveyard re: graves
GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN

"I won't let you do that."
Xena to Hercules re: striking the blow
PROMETHEUS
Gabrielle to Xena re: capturing Meleager
THE EXECUTION

"That was amazing."
Hower to Minya
A DAY IN THE LIFE
Gabrielle to Joxer re: his speech to Ileandra
FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS

"Over my dead body."
Gabrielle to Meg
WARRIOR ... PRINCESS ... TRAMP
Joxer to Callisto as Xena
INTIMATE STRANGER

"Here I am!"
Joxer to the warlords on the ship
TEN LITTLE WARLORDS
Mel to Janice
THE XENA SCROLLS

"This isn't over!"
Maell to Xena
ALTARED STATES
Xena to King Silvus
A SOLSTICE CAROL

"Fix it!"
Agis to Meg re: broken chakram
WARRIOR ... PRINCESS ... TRAMP

Ooh, it's so big and round!

Meg, fixing a faux chakram.


Xena to M'Lila re: the pinch she put on Xena's leg
DESTINY

"Don't be a fool."
Orpheus to Joxer and Xena
GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN
Cecrops to Xena re: not leaving his ship
LOST MARINER

"We don't have much time."
Xena's spirit to Autolycus & Xena's ghost to Gabrielle
THE QUEST

"It's as simple as that."
Xena to Galen
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?
Xena to Cecrops
LOST MARINER

"I sent him on a mission."
Xena to Minya re: Hower
A DAY IN THE LIFE
Xena to Gabrielle re: Joxer
A COMEDY OF EROS

"That's me." (in response to ...)
"So, you're the little peon my woman loves?"
Draco to Joxer
A COMEDY OF EROS
"So, you're Xena, the Warrior Princess."
Regis to Lucy Lawless
INTERVIEW ON REGIS AND KATHY LEE (1-17-97)

"Ha! Ha!" (said with the same tinge of sadness)
Xena after Gabrielle hands her the wedding bouquet
RETURN OF CALLISTO
Joxer after Gabrielle made light of the two of them being in love
A COMEDY OF EROS

Someday you'll get lucky; just not with me

Joxer and Gabrielle debriefing in COMEDY OF EROS.



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