Whoosh! Issue 41 - February 2000

IAXS project #75
By Barry Marshall
Content copyright © 2000 held by author
Edition copyright © 2000 held by Whoosh!
1602 words

Knuckle-Biting (01-02)
The X & G Effect (03)
What is Happening Here? (04-07)
My Obsession (08-11)
Puzzle Answers On Page 56 (12-17)
Strategy (18)
Page 56 (19-20)

The Effect of Xena and Gabrielle on Your Spouse, or Significant Other


Dwop dead, Gabwielle!  I'm gonna be a big network newsweader wike
Bawbwa Wawa!

Xena and Gabrielle gave us some knuckle-biting moments in FALLEN ANGEL.

[1] Have you ever seen someone who looks so good, they make you want to bite one of your knuckles with an 'Oh My God' expression on your face? Xena and Gabrielle are in that category. Not just because of their physical features, but because of their personalities and mental features as well. When you add these qualities together, it is a wonder we have any knuckles left at all.

[2] Attention! If you are one of the writers from the show reading this, be aware that there are 14 knuckles in each hand and foot, making a total of 56 knuckles in my body. Please do not give Xena and Gabrielle more than 56 of the above mentioned qualities.

The X & G Effect

[3] I am going to coin a phrase here. It may have been done already, but I am going to use it anyway: "The X & G Effect". This is, quite simply, the impact of Xena and Gabrielle on Xenites and non-Xenites. These "effects" can cover the entire spectrum of human emotions from happiness, delight, and excitement to boredom, indifference, and jealousy, as well as all points in between. Let us examine some of those effects.

What is Happening Here?

[4] The effect of Xena and Gabrielle on your loved one will vary, depending on many different things. Is your partner understanding? Does s/he keep an open mind? Does your mate have a sense of humor? Is s/he a Xenite? If your loved one is a Xenite, then his/her reaction to Xena and Gabrielle will probably be similar to your own, so these examples of effects may not surprise you:

  1. Both of you happily watch many video-taped Xena episodes back-to-back.

  2. Your loved one and you engage in frequent enjoyable conversations about Xena & Gabrielle.

  3. Your partner does not mind that the background wallpaper on your computer is a picture of Xena and Gabrielle.

  4. Neither one of you balks at driving 150 miles to a friend's house and back to be with other Xenites and see the 5th season premier episode on satellite TV.

  5. Both of you wait with excitement to see Lucy and Renee at a convention together.

  6. Money is no object when the latest Xena and Gabrielle merchandise is available.

  7. Xena & Gabrielle may even have the profound effect of drawing both of you into a closer relationship.

[5] However, if your significant other is not a Xenite, you may have noticed some of these effects:

  1. Silence.

  2. A frown.

  3. A glare (somewhat like Xena's).

  4. At bedtime, a finger pointing to the sofa.

  5. Astonishment while looking at receipts from Toys R Us, PowerStar, and Creation Entertainment.

  6. An askance look at your panic if the most recent episode of Xena has been pre-empted.

  7. There are questions about why you have bloody knuckles.

[6] I could list more, but this article would be longer than Autolycus' rope that he uses to escape the scenes of his pilfering. Suffice it to say, that with the above listing, you begin to get an idea of the type of effects Xena and Gabrielle have on Xenites and non- Xenites.

[7] In order to measure these effects on a spouse, or significant other, it is important to understand how much Xena & Gabrielle influence you. I will use myself as an example.

My Obsession

It is better to light one torch than curse the furkin' darkness

One of the old-time original promo shots of Xena.

[8] The walls of my office are covered with Xena and Gabrielle posters, autographed pictures, and the Xena calendar. In this veritable Xenite paradise, I have trading cards, magazines, and 12" action figures of Xena and Gabrielle perched on the edge of my computer. I even managed to acquire a cardboard bookstand from B. Dalton booksellers that displayed the Xena and Hercules official guide books.

[9] I spend hours writing and occasionally reading Xena fan fiction, as well as maintaining my own Xena fanfic website, and I am a partner that helps manage one of the Xena fan fiction indexes. I have traveled a lot of miles to attend Xena conventions to meet the stars and to have a good time with other Xenites.

[10] Some of you may be thinking I need to be carted away in a nice, formal, white straight jacket. Others of you may be scoffing at my meager Xena collection and wondering why I even bother being a Xenite at all because I have not gotten into it enough.

[11] Certainly, all of these things would have an effect on your spouse, or significant other. So, what causes me to be attracted to Xena and Gabrielle? How do I explain all of this to my girlfriend? How would you explain something like that to your partner if that person was not a Xenite?

Puzzle Answers On Page 56

[12] Luckily, I can answer the first and second questions with one explanation about why I am attracted to Xena and Gabrielle. There is no denying that Lucy Lawless and Renee O'Connor are very beautiful. But at the risk of sounding banal, the appeal of Xena and Gabrielle to me, are their characters. I am not just saying that because my girlfriend will be reading this article (um dear, could you put away that frying pan?). I suppose I would not be very honest if I did not say I was a little bit attracted to them because of the way they look (KONK...ow!), but let me hastily add I have already found my soulmate.

[13] Seriously though, I am attracted to the characters because of the things I have gone through in my life. I identify with Xena's and Gabrielle's difficulties, and their struggle to stay together while overcoming those difficulties encourages me to deal with my own problems effectively. Also, the characters of Xena and Gabrielle are well-developed (KONK...hey, that pan hurts!) and as a writer, that inspires me to write about them, as well as other vivid characters.

[14] About that last question, what can a Xenite communicate to a non-Xenite concerning his/her attraction to Xena and Gabrielle? Keep in mind that a Xenite may not need to answer this question, because the effect of Xena and Gabrielle may not impact the relationship with his/her significant other.

[15] On the other hand, there may be lots of impact on relationships from the effects of Xena and Gabrielle. If your loved one does want an answer about your attraction to Xena and Gabrielle, you could, of course, use the explanation I mentioned to my girlfriend, but remember, you may have to avoid cast metal cooking implements. If that explanation does not work, you will have to respond to the question in another way.

[16] I am going to dodge this bullet somewhat by pointing out that I am not a psychologist or relationship counselor, but I do have one thing to say: each relationship is different. Each person will have to answer that question in the best way they know how as it pertains to the situation they are in.

[17] The effects of Xena and Gabrielle on a spouse, or significant other, can definitely get complicated. It depends on what type of effects your partner is experiencing. How can two people in a relationship live with these effects?


[18] If your partner is a Xenite already, then you probably will not have too many difficulties living together with the effects of Xena and Gabrielle. However, if your loved one is not a Xenite, things may be a little more complex. The most obvious solution would be to convince your significant other to become a Xenite. This may not be as hard as it sounds, because after all, Xena and Gabrielle are very charismatic and have many qualities to admire.

Page 56

[19] Xena and Gabrielle have grown as characters, and they have shown us that they possess a huge number of features, some of which I will mention here: beauty, strength, compassion, caring, thoughtfulness, consideration, tenderness, respect, kindness, indulgence, devotion, patience, sincerity, and they are self-sacrificing. I could list more, but I am not sure my knuckles could take it.

[20] Why am I mentioning all of these aspects? It is because even though Xena and Gabrielle are characters on a TV show, they are good role models for Xenites and non- Xenites alike. The examples of their qualities affect us for the better, making us strive to meet those characteristics, which can have a positive effect on a spouse, or significant other. One of the keys, is to strive together, just like Xena and Gabrielle.


Barry Marshall Barry Marshall
Barry has acquired a wide variety of experiences in his life including: a stint as a sergeant in the U.S. Army repairing helicopters, a commercial artist, and an Assistant Warehouse Manager of a leading company that sells Point Of Sale and computer equipment. Barry has written five children's books and is currently working on three other writing projects.
Favorite episode: THE ROYAL COUPLE OF THIEVES (17/117)
Favorite line: Gabrielle: "Can we cook with your juices?" A DAY IN THE LIFE (39/215)
First episode seen: CRADLE OF HOPE (04/104)
Least favorite episode: THE BITTER SUITE (58/312)

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