Whoosh! Issue 45 - June 2000

CAPTION THIS NO. 7
Exclusive to Whoosh!
By Nicola Guest and Marian Pappaceno
Content © 2000 by authors
Edition © 2000 by Whoosh!



Editor's Note: As a fun exercise, Whoosh! each month presents a cartoon drawn by Nicola Guest and/or Marian Pappaceno, and then invites its readers to send in their ideas of possible captions for the cartoon. All the received captions (unless deemed too wild and woolly) are published in the next month's issue. Submissions must be received by the 20th of the month to be considered for inclusion in the next month's issue.




Caption This No. 7a
Caption This No. 7b
Caption This No. 6a
Caption This No. 6b
Past Caption Thises
Biographies



Caption This No. 7





Caption This No. 7a

Hey, this is YOUR job now, cowkids! Send your caption right now!

By Nicola Guest
Send your captions to Kym Taborn.




Caption This No. 7b

Hey, this is YOUR job now, cowkids! Send your caption right now!

Send your captions to Kym Taborn.




Caption This No. 6a

Hey, this is YOUR job now, cowkids! Send your caption right now!

01. "Hey, net boy, get your own sidekick!"
(from Rohan)

02. "Reneè O' Conner is staying on MY show, arachnid breath!"
(from Rohan)

03. "What Reneè wants, she gets!"
(from Rohan)

04. "Robert! I have had enough of your fantasies. Bad enough I have to wear this outfit home every night!"
(from Rohan)

05. "Hey Lucy! You like my new sidekick outfit? And look? it won't hurt the fish!"
(from Brandy Russell)

06. "Wrong set, Buster! You're supposed to be on Cleopatra 2525."
(from John Calhoun)

07. "Eat my Chakram! Have I mentioned that I hate spiders?"
(from Brandy Russell)

08. "Okay Spiderman, I know that Sam Raimi is directing you in your new movie, but can't you come up with your own weapons, you CANNOT have my chakram!!!!"
(from Randi Mogul)

09. "Gabrielle said it's all about having the cool weapon, so I'll take that!"
(from Meredith)

10. "Wait! Stop! This is ridiculous! SPIDERman?? The gods are truly running out of ideas."
(from Emily Mills)

11. "Spiderman, Spiderman, He can do whatever a spider can!"
XENA: Oh, yeah! I sqaush spiders with my boot! Come here spiduh, come here spiduh.

(from Xenita)

12. Xena seems to have come across a sticky problem, while Spiderperson has had his plans cut to shreds.
(from Andjam)

13. Ted is *really* determined that Joxer will end up with Gabrielle...
(from Andjam)

14. Lucy wondered how many more Orci/Kurtzman script's she'd be saddled with.
(from A.L.Shaughnessy)

15. Gabrielle (Offscreen): "No, Xena! Web beats Chakram, SWORD beats Web!"
(from A.L.Shaughnessy)

16. "Hey man! Spin your web somewhere else. This is my chakram and I know how to use it."
(from Virginia & Lourdes S.)

17. Spiderman meets his match - a black widow, er, dark warrior.
(from Virginia & Lourdes S.)

18. "Hey Bug-boy, get your web off my things."
(from Blk13Cat)

19. "Stop right there! I gotta know right now! Before we go any further! Do you love me? Will you love me forever? Do you need me? Will you never leave me? Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life? Will you take me away and will you make me your wife?"
(from Blk13Cat)

20. This is my neighbourhood.
(from Alison Hamilton)

21. "Hope, got out of that lava pit I see."
(from Joann)

22. What do you want Spiderman? I can take you anyday with OR without my trusty chakram!
(from Joanne)

23. Xena belatedly realizes that those were spider hatchlings and not lice.
(from icebear)

24. Now this is one subtext pairing I never saw coming.
(from icebear)

25. After the fall of the Olympian gods, Xena finds life with the new, modern pantheon to be just as challenging as ever.
(from icebear)

26. Xena: "Ares, you're nuts if you think this latest stunt is going to get you that child."
(from icebear)

27. "Back off, WebBoy, you've got Sam but ya ain't getting Rob!"
(from Mitchy)





Caption This No. 6b

Hey, this is YOUR job now, cowkids! Send your caption right now!

01. Xena was doing pretty well until she came to the "Gabrielle's most annoying boyfriend" question
(from Kym)

02. "Which one of these men looked better in the red shirt?"
(from Rohan)

03. "So, is Perdicus, that wretched former pig farmer who stole Gabrielle away from me for one night, your final answer?"
(from Rohan)

04. "Regis, what do you mean, which man did Gabrielle find more attractive than me?"
(from Rohan)

05. "So, Xena, for a Million dinars, which one of these men lived the longest after meeting Gabrielle for the first time?"
(from Rohan)

06. "Who cares what the answer is, give me the money or you'll get a taste of my chakram!!!"
(from Brandy Russell)

07. "And now, for the million-dinar question: Which of Gabrielle's beaus would you rather chakram first?"
(from Meredith)

08. Host: "All right Xena, for a million dollars...which one of these fellas would you most like to kick the snot out of?"
Xena: "That's not fair! There's more than one answer to that!"

(from Emily Mills)

09. REGIS:"And the question is what name is synonymous to the Red-Shirt in the original Star Trek?"
XENA: "Trick Question!! They all liked Gabrielle so they all had to DIE!!!
REGIS:"You just won 1 million dollars!!!!"
NETWORK EXECUTIVE: "Great now we have to give out another million dollars. I was sure that getting people from another time would remedy the problem!"

(from Carmen Mari)

10. Regus: Which of Gabrielle's "boyfriends" would you like to kill first?
Xena: Where is the "all of the above" option?

(from Lala3xgqt)

11. Xena: Hottest studmuffin? Why haven't they listed Joxer?
(from Andjam)

12. Regis: Okay Xena, who is the love of Gabrielle's life?
Xena: Why ain't my name on there?

(from Sabrina Luv)

13. ""Ummm, is this a trick question? 'Cause Gabby liked them all."
(from Jen)

14. "YES!!!! That is my final answer!!!! Stop asking!"
(from Jen)

15. THINKS: "Which of these men did Gabrielle marry? Hercules was right, the questions ARE too easy!"
(from A.L.Shaughnessy)

16. Stuck on 64,000 dinars with her lifelines gone, Xena realised she was totally screwed
(from A.L.Shaughnessy)

17. "Is this a trick question? 'Who among these is Xena's sidekick, Gabrielle's true and only love?' I think Xena's name should be included in the list of answers."
(from Virginia & Lourdes S.)

18. "Regis, I regret to say that I have to stop here and take the dinars. This one is a toughie and I have already used up all of my life lines."
(from Virginia & Lourdes S.)

19. Xena:"Kill em all"
Regis:"Is that your final answer?"

(from Joann)

20. "For 1,000 dinars! Which of these people suffered not only for his viewpoints but also for his wardrobe?"
(from Oshun Anat)

21. " I swear Regis, if you ask, is that my final answer, I'm going to put my chakram where the sun don't shine. Did I mention it breaks in two?"
(from Queen Bee)

22. Regis:"Ok, Xena, you know you're a very smart woman!"
Xena:"Thank you"
Regis: "You have all your life lines. so, are you ready for the $1,000,000 question?"
Xena: "I'm ready Regis!" Regis: "Let's play! For $1 million... ah, why is my board fuzzy?"
Xena: "Fuzzy? Um, if you're asking who was Gabrielle's husband, that would be A)Perdicus. If you're asking about the indian dude trying to use "good" against good that would be B) Aiden. If you're asking the character that resembles Jesus that would be D) Eli. And whatever is left is C) Talus" "*looks* Just give her a million dollar! She's too smart! Now, I do know why you "have many skills"."

(from Joanne)

23. Regis: "For one million dinars Xena, which of the following had no clue that you love Gabrielle?"
Xena: "What? Me...l-love G-Gabr-ielle? W-Why do you think that?" **Gods am I really that transparent?**

(from BurnAKAKate)

24. As Regis read the Million Dinar Question, "Who was the Bard of Potidaea's Husband?" Xena found herself for the first time actually fond of Perdicus.
(from BekahsOwn)





Past Caption Thises

Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 5a.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 5b.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 4a.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 4b.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 3.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 2.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 1.





Biographies

Nicola Guest Nicola Guest

I live "across the pond" in bonny old England, currently doing a Degree in Media Production, specialising in Animation. I enjoy directing, storyboarding and creating comedy scripts (I like comedy alot so that's why the funny episodes of XWP are my favourite!) I'm also getting into web design and have started to produce my own site: http://www.c-gue.demon.co.uk/. At the moment I'm living the typical life of a student and loving every minute of it.
Favorite episodes: A DAY IN THE LIFE, IN SICKNESS AND IN HELL, IF THE SHOE FITS
Favorite line: Gabrielle: "It's a SACK Xena" IF THE SHOE FITS
First episode seen: IN SICKNESS AND IN HELL
Least favorite episode: ULYSSES

Joxer-impaired Spice Marian Pappaceno
Click here for Ms. Pappaceno's website

Marian Pappaceno was born to the glitter city of Las Vegas in 1964. Always the tough gal, she was happy to play the role of the bad guy with the neighborhood kids, usually as a thief or alien-come-to-conquer-earth. An artist at heart, she draws constantly when not at her job in nuclear medicine. As mistress of The Temple Of Joxer, she does not take kindly to Ted-bashing and lusts after anyone who knows all the words to his song.
Favorite episode: BITTER SUITE(58/312)
Favorite line: Gabrielle with centaur dropping in hand: "...don't eat....Oh, thank you...thank you VERY much!" HOOVES AND HARLOTS (10/110)
First episode seen: FISTFUL OF DINARS (14/114)
Least favorite episode: THE TITANS (07/107)







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