THE CUT FINAL SCENE

THE CUT FINAL SCENE
By Susanne McCaffery
Content © 2001 held by author
WHOOSH! edition © 2001 held by Whoosh!
3337 words

Author's Note:
While rummaging through Renaissance Pictures trash bins,
I was able to find the original cut final scene from FRIEND IN NEED II.

THE CUT FINAL SCENE

The Cut Final Scene

XENA

(her eyes filled with tears at the pain she must cause Gabrielle):
Akemi has told me that, in order for the 40,000 souls—for whose deaths I am responsible—to be free, I must stay dead.

GABRIELLE

(dryly)
She might have mentioned that earlier.

XENA
Akemi thought I might not sacrifice myself if I knew.

GABRIELLE
Some friend. Tell me again why she deserved to be the focal point of the final episode? No, scratch that. So (beat) you believe her?

XENA
Of course! She's only lied and manipulated me every single time we've been together. What's not to trust?

GABRIELLE

(fists clenched, with frustration)
What sort of abysmal writing is this? Since when does the murderer control the afterlife destination of his or her victims? Not that what you did was murder - more along the lines of self-defense.

XENA

(sticking to her story)
The 40,000 must be avenged to find peace.

Gabrielle emotes back.

GABRIELLE
I see. So the moral of our story is that inflicting the Death Penalty is the 'right' thing to do.
(Gabrielle shakes her head morosely)
Repentance is futile. Atonement impossible. Redemption unobtainable.

XENA

(imploring Gabrielle to understand)
My staying dead will redeem me. I will finally have the redemption I have sought.

GABRIELLE

(slowly, as the thought forms, then with cynicism)
Hey...wait a minute... You were already redeemed in Heaven, weren't you? How many redemptions does one person need? Are you collecting them? I only ask because pretty soon we're going to run out of major world religions.

XENA
What?

GABRIELLE
You know, from the last time we died. Quite frankly, we've died so much it's beginning to lose some of its charm. But I'm referring to the whole Christianity arc thing. Wasn't your soul redeemed then?

XENA

(exasperated)
Look, truth is, if I die now I'll forever be remembered as young. Young and beautiful. And tragic. Like Marilyn Monroe.

GABRIELLE
I see. Isn't that a sell-out? It would have better fit our iconoclastic reputation if you could have aged. Men get to age while still being considered sexy and powerful. Why not women?

XENA

(sadly)
Yes, I could have kicked b*tt for years yet. But the rights to the franchise were sold to a company that lacks the wherewithal to make movies. So my series is at a dead end. I might as well be dead.
(lifts her head, with determination to be upbeat about this)
Now, do you want me to follow you around or what?

GABRIELLE
All right. I always wanted to be a warrior. I just never envisioned myself as one that talked to imaginary friends.

XENA

(trying to cheer her up)
It's not as bad as all that. Besides, we'll be together in the future.

They emote near a goat.

GABRIELLE
Yeah, I've read the scripts, too.
(sighs)
With writing like that, who needs enemies?

THE END

Biography

Susanne McCaffery Susanne McCaffery taught History at Georgia Military College before leaving to pursue research in Pug History, a quest which culminated in her book, PugSpotting: A True History of How Pugs Saved Civilization. (She would mention that it is available on Amazon, but that would be a shameless plug.) A devout Xenite, she has never been the same since her first viewing of the show. Susanne has heard that there is more to life than pugs and Xena, but has yet to investigate this rumor.

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