Whoosh! Issue 63 - December 2001

INSIDE THE HEAD OF MIL TORO (LUCYFER)
By Amy Murphy
Content © 2001 held by author
WHOOSH! edition © 2001 held by Whoosh!
3869 words


Introduction (01)
Mil's Head (02-205)
Mil's Stories
Acknowledgments
Articles
Biography



INSIDE THE HEAD OF MIL TORO (LUCYFER)



Introduction

[01] Mil Toro is another old timer bard who has no problem with telling you how it is. She was also one of the lucky ones who got three stories read by Claire Stansfield and Alexandra Tydings for the historic first XXX revue in Pasadena, May 2001.


Claire asks Renee to sign 'To Claire, whom I love far 
more than Lucy...'
I hope she'll autograph this scroll for me!

Mil's Head

AMY MURPHY:
[02] Why did you start writing?

MIL TORO:
[03] I started writing just for fun. My first fanfic story was a Star Trek: The Next Generation Dr. Crusher story back in 1992.

MURPHY:
[04] If you had to do it all over, would you be a bard? Would you write?

TORO:
[05] Yes. I'd write quality novels that made lots of money.

MURPHY:
[06] Give us a brief day in the life of Mil.

TORO:
[07] I'm on a completely opposite schedule than most people. I work the midnight shift and enjoy being at home during the day. On the weekends, I go back to everyone else's schedule and have fun.

MURPHY:
[08] How do you handle stress?

TORO:
[09] I have no problem expressing myself. When I don't feel like talking, I watch Baseball games to relax.

MURPHY:
[10] Years from now, how would you want to be remembered?

TORO:
[11] As someone who knew when to take life seriously and when to have fun.

MURPHY:
[12] What is your pet peeve?

TORO:
[13] People who harm children and animals. People who refuse to change their beliefs when presented with new information.

MURPHY:
[14] Who is Mil?

TORO:
[14] I'm a 43-year-old non-Spanish speaking Puerto Rican-American living in Canada. I grew up in Philadelphia as a lesbian in a macho culture. My whole life has been living on both sides of the fence not fitting in on either side. Many times, I feel like a spy.

MURPHY:
[16] Do fans expect too much from stars?

TORO:
[17] I think expecting them to be anything beyond a human being is expecting too much.

MURPHY:
[18] What are your feelings on censorship?

TORO:
[19] It sucks.

MURPHY:
[20] If you can cure one disease, what would it be and why?

TORO:
[21] AIDS. Curing this disease will be the key to a better life for all human beings. If we can control our immune system, we can go a long way. In the meantime, too many people are suffering enough.

MURPHY:
[22] Do you believe in capital punishment? Why?

TORO:
[23] Yes and no. I think the crime has to be particularly heinous like the men who killed Matthew Sheppard or people like Karla Homolka and Paul Bernardo. The question is, who gets to decide where to draw the line? I don't think there's an answer to that so I'd prefer we didn't kill anyone until we can figure it out. On the other hand, I wasn't the least bit upset when Tim McVeigh was killed.

MURPHY:
[24] What is the most sensitive part on your body?

TORO:
[25] (laughing) I don't know. Okay, I do but I don't want to say.

MURPHY:
[26] What do you see yourself doing in the future? Future projects?

TORO:
[27] I have an inkling to write a novel set in 1911 but I don't know if I'll ever get it together.

MURPHY:
[28] How do you handle depression?

TORO:
[29] I think about something else.

MURPHY:
[30] What was the hardest thing you ever did?

TORO:
[31] Quit smoking.

MURPHY:
[32] What was the easiest?

TORO:
[33] Everything else.

MURPHY:
[34] What advice can you give to future writers?

TORO:
[35] Write what you know, research what you don't know, but learn how to write first.

MURPHY:
[36] How did it feel to be published/performed?

TORO:
[37] I haven't been published except what's been posted on-line and that was pretty exciting. But I think my greatest thrill in terms of my writing was seeing Claire Stansfield and Alexandra Tydings, two wonderfully talented and professional actresses, perform three of my skits onstage at the 2001 Pasadena con.

MURPHY:
[38] What has the show Xena meant to you?

TORO:
[39] Don't lose your head over dead people.

MURPHY:
[40] How do you feel about its end?

TORO:
[41] It sucked. See above.

MURPHY:
[42] What are your dreams? Hopes? Wishes?

TORO:
[43] To see me, my friends and family be the happiest they can be in their lives.

MURPHY:

[44] Whom do you trust?

TORO:
[45] "Trust no one". Just kidding. Actually, I trust a lot of people. I generally give most people the benefit of the doubt until they prove themselves untrustworthy.

MURPHY:
[46] What would you say every writer needs?

TORO:
[47] Imagination and a good foundation in writing skills.

MURPHY:
[48] Do you believe in prayer?

TORO:
[49] H*ll no. Prayer is basically talking to yourself and I don't think you need to get on your knees to do that. Now getting on your knees for a woman... well, that's different!

MURPHY:
[50] How do you feel about subtext?

TORO:
[51] I wish Tapert had had the cojones to unapologetically make it maintext when all was said and done. Now *that* would have been "bold" and "defiant".

MURPHY:
[52] What makes your best friend your best friend?

TORO:
[53] She is someone who accepts me for who I am and to whom I can tell anything.

MURPHY:
[54] What's the most romantic thing anyone has done for you?

TORO:
[55] Treated me to a honeymoon weekend in Provincetown one summer.

MURPHY:
[56] What theme would you like to tackle in your next work?

TORO:
[57] I haven't written anything in three years but like I said above, if I ever get myself in gear, I'd like to write a novel set in 1911.

MURPHY:
[58] What was the last thing that made you smile recently?

TORO:
[59] Having a psychic feeling about a situation and then to find out it was true. I wasn't crazy after all.

MURPHY:
[60] What made you angry?

TORO:
[61] I recently heard an extremely homophobic commercial on the radio and the station was playing it repeatedly during a month long span. It was about some teenagers who were teasing another teen about being afraid to go on an amusement ride. He was called "pansy", "girlyman", and "sissy". In case anyone doesn't know, "girlyman" is Jamaican patois slang for "faggot". Gay people are the Last Pioneers. I can't imagine a commercial using racial or religious epithets to sell a product. Ironically, the amusement park being advertised has had a Gay Day once a year for the last 7 years.

[62] I emailed and phoned up the station to complain. They stopped playing the commercial but I'm not sure if it was in response to complaints or because the contract simply ran out. The commercial aired for a good month.

MURPHY:
[63] You now have absolute authority over the world. Omnipotent in all areas. What's your first move?

TORO:
[64] I'll probably offend a lot of people for saying this, but my first step would be to take all reproduction rights out of the hands of individuals and put them into the hands of a global regulatory body. In 1999, we reached the 6 billion mark and that's already too many for this planet. If we don't do something about it soon, we'll be the cause of our own demise. I'd limit the number of children to one per woman with the caveat that she and the father would have to get a "parents" license. If she wants more, she'd have to adopt a hungry child.

[65] The second thing I'd do is legalize all drugs. The drugs would be regulated by the government in the same way that alcohol and tobacco are, i.e. a legal age limit and the quality would have to be monitored like any other prescription drug. The money they currently waste on the alleged "war on drugs" would be funneled into comprehensive drug rehabilitation programs.

MURPHY:
[66] Do you have stalkers?

TORO:
[67] I've been lucky. No stalkers.

MURPHY:
[68] How would you categorize your best writing, and give the URLs for them if posted?

TORO:
[69] Conquering Xena

[70] Dark Beauty

[71] I like them both the best because they're longer. Plus the Evil Callisto was the best!

MURPHY:
[72] What stupid thing did you do as a teen?

TORO:
[73] Got arrested. Not saying what for.

MURPHY:
[74] What, if anything, can stop you writing, if only for a while?

TORO:
[75] I was writing Xena fan fiction for a while and when the show became uninspiring, my Muse died or least went far far away.

MURPHY:
[76] In your opinion, do you fit your astrological sign?

TORO:
[77] For a first house double Capricorn with Sagittarius rising, Mercury retrograde and unaspected Venus opposite Uranus, I think that fits me pretty d*mn well!

MURPHY:
[78] What to you is the worst feeling in the world?

TORO:
[79] Being betrayed by someone I trusted.

MURPHY:
[80] The best feeling in the world?

TORO:
[81] Can I say on this website? It's X-rated.

MURPHY:
[82] Favorite song of the moment?

TORO:
[83] "The Prison" and "Please Forgive Me" by Melissa Etheridge from her new CD Skin.

MURPHY:
[84] What is the first thing you think of in the morning?

TORO:
[85] Oh goodie! The sun's still up!

MURPHY:
[86] Is there one part of the writing process where you usually get stuck? What have you tried to change that, successful or not?

[87] TORO:
I haven't written anything in over three years.

MURPHY:
[88] What does gossip mean to you?

TORO:
[89] It's the stuff of myths and legends.

MURPHY:
[90] Are people easily swayed by 'hearsay'?

TORO:
[91] Yes, because people really want to believe.

MURPHY:
[92] What are your feelings about people who use others for personal gain?

TORO:
[93] People do what they gotta do. No one allows others to use them without their permission, conscious or otherwise.

MURPHY:
[94] What is a hypocrite?

TORO:
[95] Doing one thing and saying another. On the other hand, they could just be covering their asses. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.

MURPHY:
[96] What kind of doughnut do you eat?

TORO:
[97] Anything with a hole.

MURPHY:
[98] Does the best writing flow for you, or does it come from rewrites?

TORO:
[99] When I was writing, first it flowed, then I "fixed it up" so that it flowed more smoothly. Sometimes that included rewrites of certain scenes but usually not the whole story.

MURPHY:
[100] Which part of writing do you enjoy most and why?

TORO:
[101] When I had a problem figuring out how a scene should go and then it just hit me. Bam! That's it! That was the most fun part about writing.

MURPHY:
[102] How often do you think about a piece when you're working on it and when do you think about it?

TORO:
[103] When I was writing, I thought about it all the time. I just couldn't wait to get back to my computer and write down what was banging around in my head.

MURPHY:
[104] When someone walks into your bedroom, what are the first five things that they're likely to notice?

TORO:
[105] You really don't want to know! I've scared enough people already.

MURPHY:
[106] Do you feel in control of your writing, or do you get carried away by your inspiration or characters?

TORO:
[107] I used to like to get carried away.

MURPHY:
[108] If you consider yourself to have a muse, what exactly do you mean?

TORO:
[109] I don't have one anymore. She went away. Bye. Bye.

MURPHY:
[110] Tell the truth--are you your favorite writer, or in your own top five? Why or why not?

TORO:
[111] Probably not the top five because there are more talented writers out there than me.

MURPHY:
[112] Would the world be a better place if women ran it or would it be basically the same?

TORO:
[113] Who knows? I think people are people.

MURPHY:
[114] What is your favorite spot where you live now?

TORO:
[115] My balcony.

MURPHY:
[116] What books are you reading now? What about it/them is holding your attention?

TORO:
[117] I'm reading entertaining technical stuff, not computer related though. Most people would be bored. I'm fascinated.

MURPHY:
[118] What would your friends say is your worst trait?

TORO:
[119] I never stop talking.

MURPHY:
[120] Do you type with your fingers on the "right" keys?

TORO:
[121] Yeah, you wanna make sumpt'in of it?!

MURPHY:
[122] What is the longest any plant in your home has been with you?

TORO:
[123] Long enough to know it was a bad career move.

MURPHY:
[124] Do you have any particular bedtime rituals (glass of warm milk, etc.) that you follow every night?

TORO:
[125] Ha! Wouldn't you like to know!

MURPHY:
[126] If you find a spider in the bathtub, do you help it out or squish it?

TORO:
[127] I'm kind. I help it out.

MURPHY:
[128] What was the last thing you bought that you really didn't need?

TORO:
[129] A DVD player. Of course, the term "need" is very relative.

MURPHY:
[130] Have you ever smoked cigarettes—explain

TORO:
[131] Yes. I quit for 17 years then went back 3 years ago. Don't ask, I can't explain it.

MURPHY:
[132] Who is your favorite Greek God?

TORO:
[133] Aphrodite. I have a beautiful statue of her at home.

MURPHY:
[134] Why do fools fall in love?

TORO:
[135] No worries, smart people do too.

MURPHY:
[136] Do you keep a diary and if so what do you call it? If so, what effect has it had on your writing?

TORO:
[137] I have a diary but I won't divulge the name. I don't want you to find it. It's completely unrelated to my writing.

MURPHY:
[138] How has online writing affected your life and how you see yourself, your goals?

TORO:
[139] It was fun while it lasted. I'm honored to be a small part of Xenaverse history.

MURPHY:
[140] What skill would you like to have that you don't have now?

TORO:
[141] To become invisible at will.

MURPHY:
[142] Who is your real life hero and why?

TORO:
[143] My Mom. She was a pioneer long before it became popular.

MURPHY:
[144] What fan fiction story touched you so much that you still remember it vividly?

TORO:
[145] I'm too biased to answer this.

MURPHY:
[146] If you could only choose a single climate with no variation would you prefer it to be sweltering hot or freezing cold?

TORO:
[147] Definitely sweltering hot. Puerto Rico's in the Caribbean.

MURPHY:
[148] What is the first thing you notice about someone when you meet them?

TORO:
[149] Their vibes.

MURPHY:
[150] Have you ever done something that accidentally caused something really bad to happen to someone?

TORO:
[151] It wasn't quite accidental, but I allowed something terrible to happen to an innocent woman 20 years ago and it has haunted me ever since. I'd like to think I can make it up to her but I know I can't. All I can do is move on.

MURPHY:
[152] How is $25 well spent?

TORO:
[153] At the movies.

MURPHY:
[154] Would you rather live in a sociable suburb, or alone in the deep woods?

TORO:
[155] Neither. Give me a hustling bustling big city any day.

MURPHY:
[156] What literary character did you most identify with as a child?

TORO:
[157] Lefty Lemon.

MURPHY:
[158] What is the source of your inspiration?

TORO:
[159] My lascivious imagination.

MURPHY:
[160] Where do your ideas come from?

TORO:
[161] See above.

MURPHY:
[162] What do you find most satisfying about your job?

TORO:
[163] There's a lot of variety in my job so I'm not stuck doing the same ol' thing all the time.

MURPHY:
[164] What are the three things you enjoy most about writing?

TORO:
[165] Entering a world of fantasy, making some of my fantasies "real", and sharing my imagination with others.

MURPHY:
[166] What was your favorite book?

TORO:
[167] Dick Gregory's No More Lies

MURPHY:
[168] TV show?

TORO:
[169] Star Trek and The Avengers.

MURPHY:
[170] Movie?

TORO:
[171] The Godfather.

MURPHY:
[172] When you were a teenager and what do you think of them now?

TORO:
[173] I think the TV shows and Godfather have held up over time, however, I'm sorry to say, probably no one's ever heard of Mr. Gregory's excellent book.

MURPHY:
[174] What's your idea of a perfect world?

TORO:
[175] Smart, independent and free-thinking people.

MURPHY:
[176] How real is your fiction to you?

TORO:
[177] Real enough.

MURPHY:
[178] What Disney character do you most identify with and why?

TORO:
[179] Do I have to pick from Disney? I'll pass.

MURPHY:
[180] Who do you read for inspiration?

TORO:
[181] Vampire books.

MURPHY:
[182] What's your favorite website?

TORO:
[183] I don't have a specific one. But I like surfing on Baseball, Xena, entertainment and newspaper sites from around the world.

MURPHY:
[184] When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

TORO:
[185] First a doctor, then Janis Joplin.

MURPHY:
[186] What are the limits in sacrifices for true love?

TORO:
[187] Yourself. When you sacrifice who you are, you're lost.

MURPHY:
[188] If you could interview your favorite author, what questions would you ask?

TORO:
[189] Would you like to go for a beer?

MURPHY:
[190] And, WHY?

TORO:
[191] They're probably sick of people asking them questions.

MURPHY:
[192] What makes a great kisser?

TORO:
[193] A woman who takes her good ol' sweet time as long as she doesn't slobber.

MURPHY:
[194] What have you learned from your animals?

TORO:
[195] Vulnerability and compassion.

MURPHY:
[196] Does our society glorify violence to the point we have become desensitized to it and the consequences?

TORO:
[197] :::shrug::: I think humans are violent.

MURPHY:
[198] What is your motto?

TORO:
[199] What is your point?

MURPHY:
[200] What do you think we take too seriously as writers?

TORO:
[201] Taking "negative" feedback as an insult even if it's constructive criticism. Both "negative" and "positive" feedback can be equally useful tools.

MURPHY:
[202] If you could interview Lucy Lawless, what questions would you ask?

TORO:
[203] What kind of doughnut do you eat?

MURPHY:
[204] Why?

TORO:
[205] I'm curious about what she likes to eat.





Mil's Stories

Mil's page is: http://www.sirensong.co.uk/xenastories/index.html
Mil's e-mail address is: lucyfer@idirect.com

The Stories

A FATE TO REMEMBER
A "what if" story based on the events of "Remember Nothing". Xena stays in the alternate timeline a while longer.

BEEN THERE, WISH I'D DONE THAT
Xena descends into madness after repeating the same day over and over again revealing her darkest secrets to Gabrielle.

BENEATH THE SMOULDERING ARMOUR
Xena and Gabrielle have a kinky adventure in the woods.

CALLISTO'S KISS
Takes place after Intimate Strangers as Callisto finds out that Gabrielle didn't tell Xena what really happened when Callisto invaded Xena's body.

CONQUERING XENA
Takes place in the alternate universe of Xena, the Conqueror where Callisto's aid is enlisted to unite the Conqueror with Gabrielle.

CROSSING X'S
Xena meets up with Dana Scully and Gabrielle meets up with Fox Mulder in this crossover time travel tale.

DOWN TO THE DARKNESS
Xena fights her dark side and her dark past after her encounter with The Horde.

DARK BEAUTY
A loose sequel to Down To The Darkness, an immortal Callisto returns to haunt Xena and Gabrielle.

THE FIRST OF DESTINY
M'Lilla's past catches up with Xena as a mysterious figure stalks her.

LIQUID FIRE
Xena unknowingly falls under Callisto's spell with the help of a magic potion.

THE MAGICAL ORB
A revisionist historical account of Xena's past with Callisto as Xena introduces Gabrielle to a Magical Orb she received from the Amazons.

THE NAKED TRUTH
Xena takes Gabrielle to the Twilight Zone, one of her old haunts. Fairly kinky.

PATHWAY TO LOVE
What if? What if Callisto never killed Perdicus and Xena lived a life without Gabrielle? (I know, depressing ain't it?) Will true love overcome all?

THE SMELL OF HER BRITCHES
Xena reads Gabrielle's secret scroll and then makes the bard's fantasizes come true.

SPANKS FOR THE MEMORIES
Xena and Gabrielle make a bet and the loser gets a spanking.

WHEN SHE WAS A WARLORD
Gabrielle fantasizes about Xena raiding Poteidia as the Warrior Princess.

The Skits

ADVENTURES IN THE CON TRADE
Xena and Gabrielle go to a Xena convention in San Francisco.

A KISS IS JUST A KISS
Lucy and Renee come up with a plan to sneak a kiss between Xena and Gabrielle into the script.

GABRIELLE TAKES XENA HOME
It's the Spring Festival and Gabrielle takes Xena home for dinner with the folks.

THE MOUNT OLYMPUS SUPER BOWL
Xena's Amazons battle Dahok's Destroyers in the Olympus Super Bowl.

PAYBACK'S A JOXER
A fairy tale (sort of) of how Joxer became the WarriorGeekGuy.

PLAY BALL, XENA!
It's Xena's Amazons vs. the War Street Warriors in a baseball game.

SINFUL ADVENTURES
Xena explains to Gabrielle what happened while she was gone. (XXX Revue in Pasadena by Claire and Alex) **I was quite honoured and flattered to hear the news on Sat morning that Claire and Alex were going to do my skits. An added thrill came at the cabaret when they used my skit "Xena's Kisses" to end the show with a kiss of their own (as Xena and Gabrielle). Reciting the fanfic was a lovely way to acknowledge the plethora of bards in the Xenaverse who have written literally thousands of stories and skits. I could never thank them enough for giving us that very special evening. Thank you, Claire and Alex!!!**

TO THE MAXXIM
Lucy and Renee pose for the cameras.

WHO'S THE FATHER?
Lucy and Renee discuss who will be the father of Xena's child during Lucy's pregnancy. Written *before* Lucy really got pregnant.

WHO'S THE FATHER PART TWO
On-set of XWP, Lucy and Renee discuss who's the father of Xena's child. (This is pure speculation written before GFC)

XELLEN'S UNIVERSAL CHAT
Xellen chats with her fans on the Internet.

XENA AND GABRIELLE SPIN THE PIN BOTTLE
Xena coerces Callisto into kissing Gabrielle to find out her little secret.

XENA AND LUCY GO SHOPPING
Xena helps Lucy pick out a wedding dress and gives her a few fashion tips.

XENA AND LUCY GO SHOPPING _ AGAIN!
Xena takes Lucy shopping to prepare for her appearance on Saturday Night Live.

XENAFANADDICTS 'R' US
RenPics hires a fanfic writer for Season 6 because of the universally panned 5th season and to boost ratings. (XXX Revue in Pasadena by Claire and Alex)

XENA'S KISSES
Gabrielle interrogates Xena about the numerous people she's kissed. (XXX Revue in Pasadena by Claire and Alex)

XENA VS. HOCKEY'S DEAD THINGS
It's a fight to sudden death overtime as Xena plays the Dead Things for Lord Stanleus' Mead Cup.

YES, VIRGINIA THERE IS A JERKULES
If you're wondering what the heck happened to Xena and Gabrielle this 5th season....well, this XWP writers meeting pretty much explains it all.

Acknowledgments

Thanks to the Bardic Circle for a few of the questions. Thanks to Kamouraskan for the beta.


Articles

L. J. Maas and Murphy Wilson [Amy Murphy]. One Step Beyond ... Uber, That Is. WHOOSH #49 (October 2000)

The "Inside the Head of…" series in Whoosh issues #58, 61-


Biography

a woman of mystery Amy Murphy
Twenty-nine-year-old Amy Murphy resides in Indiana, and is an avid reader of Xena: Warrior Princess Fan Fiction. If it exists in the Xenaverse, chances are she's read it! Murphy has also tried her hand at writing FF, turning out two very nice pieces that reside on a couple of web sites throughout the Xenaverse.


Favorite episode: IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE
Favorite line: "I have many skills" (various episodes)
First episode seen: THE TITANS (07/107)
Least favorite episode: LYRE, LYRE HEARTS ON FIRE (100/510)

 

 

Return to Top Return to Index