Introduction
Charmer's Head (01-70)
Charmer's Stories
Acknowledgments
Articles
Biography

Introduction

^[01] This bard is another old timer. She has written classic stuff and once you get started, you have to read them all.

Charmer's Head

The joy of writing was just as fun in the BCE times as the CE times.

INTERVIEWER:
^[02] Why did you start writing?

CHARMER:
^[03] I started writing screenplays, from my own and other people's treatments, to make cash. Later I wrote fan fiction, my first prose, for fun.

INTERVIEWER:
^[04] If you had to do it all over, would you be a bard? Would you write?

CHARMER:
^[05] Yes, because I enjoyed it very much. It gave me the chance to learn lessons from other writers on writing prose.

INTERVIEWER:
^[06] Give us a brief day in the life of Charmer.

CHARMER:
^[07] At the moment, it's very domestic and predictable but I love it. Lots of bathing small people, baking bread, scones, etc. Things I couldn't imagine myself doing ten years ago, when I was working in entertainment and hardly ever at home. It's good to have the choice.

INTERVIEWER:
^[08] How do you handle stress?

CHARMER:
^[09] I haven't really had any for a long time. Stress is the result of having responsibilities but not enough power to meet them. Right now I have responsibilities, but nothing gets in my way of meeting them, so I'm not stressed.

INTERVIEWER:
^[10] Years from now, how would you want to be remembered?

CHARMER:
^[11] I've never thought about that. Accurately, if at all.

INTERVIEWER:
^[12] What is your pet peeve?

CHARMER:
^[13] Liars. I can't stand liars.

INTERVIEWER:
^[14] Who is Charmer?

CHARMER:
^[15] A fan fiction handle who writes some comedy, some drama, and some kink.

INTERVIEWER:
^[16] Do fans expect too much from stars?

CHARMER:
^[17] That depends on whether the context is professional or personal. As consumers fans pay the star's salary, so a star should consistently try to deliver good performances on screen, and behave in a respectful manner towards fans off-screen -- in interviews, for example. An actor doesn't *have* to engage with fandom, but if they do, then fans deserve cordial treatment. On the other hand, fans should not try to invade a star's personal life. A star has professional responsibilities to her fans, not personal ones. I've met actors and producers who have a wonderful time with the fandom for their shows. They and their fans understand the relationship's dynamic -- that is, the actors and producers appreciate their fans' loyalty, praise and criticism while the fans appreciate the professionals' work and respect their private lives. Watching Xena: Warrior Princess fandom over the years, I get the impression that Lucy Lawless and Rob Tapert have not enjoyed their show's fandom as much as they could have.

INTERVIEWER:
^[18] What are your feelings on censorship?

CHARMER:
^[19] That's a complex subject and I could rabbit on for hours. In general, censorship is damaging and counter-productive. Governments in particular should not censor art, news, literature, or any kind of information. Self-regulation is best.

INTERVIEWER:
^[20] If you can cure one disease, what would it be and why?

CHARMER:
^[21] Just one? Um... is prejudice a disease?

INTERVIEWER:
^[22] Do you believe in capital punishment? Why?

CHARMER:
^[23] In principal yes, because there are some scum who have no business being on the planet. In practice, I'm reticent because we can't always be 100% certain we've got the right scum.

INTERVIEWER:
^[24] What is the most sensitive part on your body?

CHARMER:
^[25] Tongue.

INTERVIEWER:
^[26] What do you see yourself doing in the future? Future projects?

CHARMER:
^[27] Running a software company, writing the odd novel, and playing lots of games.

INTERVIEWER:
^[28] How do you handle depression?

CHARMER:
^[29] I don't think I've ever been depressed. Fed up with something, yes... in which case I get over it.

INTERVIEWER:
^[30] What was the hardest thing you ever did?

CHARMER:
^[31] My film MA [Master of Arts].

INTERVIEWER:
^[32] What was the easiest?

CHARMER:
^[33] Writing Lila's Little Adventure. That was easier than it had any right to be.

INTERVIEWER:
^[34] What advice can you give to future writers?

CHARMER:
^[35] Ask for criticism and take note of it.

INTERVIEWER:
^[36] What has the show Xena meant to you?

CHARMER:
^[37] Since 1996 it's meant entertainment, light-hearted fun on the internet, and an education in mob mentality.

INTERVIEWER:
^[38] How do you feel about its end?

CHARMER:
^[39] It put the 'd' in derivative, but by that point there wasn't much to lose.

INTERVIEWER:
^[40] What are your dreams? Hopes? Wishes?

CHARMER:
^[41] To carry on much as I am.

INTERVIEWER:
^[42] Whom do you trust?

CHARMER:
^[43] Family and most friends.

INTERVIEWER:
^[44] As a parent, what is the greatest wish you have for your child?

CHARMER:
^[45] Happiness.

INTERVIEWER:
^[46] What would you say every writer needs?

CHARMER:
^[47] The desire to learn and improve.

INTERVIEWER:
^[48] Do you believe in prayer?

CHARMER:
^[49] As a meditation perhaps. But, I don't do it.

INTERVIEWER:
^[50] How do you feel about subtext?

CHARMER:
^[51] It enhanced Xena: Warrior Princess immensely.

INTERVIEWER:
^[52] What makes your best friend your best friend?

CHARMER:
^[53] Long term friendship and humor.

INTERVIEWER:
^[54] How did you feel when you first experienced someone else reading one of your stories in public?

CHARMER:
^[55] It made me giggle.

INTERVIEWER:
^[56] What's the most romantic thing anyone has done for you?

CHARMER:
^[57] Marry me.

INTERVIEWER:
^[58] What theme would you like to tackle in your next work?

CHARMER:
^[59] I'm not planning one yet.

INTERVIEWER:
^[60] What was the last thing that made you smile recently?

CHARMER:
^[61] Watching children play.

INTERVIEWER:
^[62] What made you angry?

CHARMER:
^[63] Someone lied. I hate that.

INTERVIEWER:
^[64] You now have absolute authority over the world. Omnipotent in all areas. What's your first move?

CHARMER:
^[65] I make everyone telepathic. That'll teach the liars.

INTERVIEWER:
^[66] Do you have stalkers? If so, how have you handled them?

CHARMER:
^[67] I don't have any.

INTERVIEWER:
^[68] How would you categorize your best writing, and give the URLs for them if posted?

CHARMER:
^[69] If my best is the piece I put the most work into, then it's Shards. If my best is the one that generated the most feedback, then it's Lila's Little Adventure.

INTERVIEWER:
^[70] What stupid thing did you do as a teen?

CHARMER:
^[71] I puked in a trilby.

INTERVIEWER:
^[72] What, if anything, can stop you writing, if only for a while?

CHARMER:
^[73] Just getting bored with it.

INTERVIEWER:
^[74] In your opinion, do you fit your astrological sign?

CHARMER:
^[75] Mostly.

INTERVIEWER:
^[76] What to you is the worst feeling in the world?

CHARMER:
^[77] Wishing you could turn the clock back.

INTERVIEWER:
^[78] The best feeling in the world?

CHARMER:
^[79] When something difficult and potentially dangerous turns out just right.

INTERVIEWER:
^[80] Favorite song of the moment?

CHARMER:
^[81] Old King Cole and His Boys of 73.

INTERVIEWER:
^[82] What is the first thing you think of in the morning?

CHARMER:
^[83] What already?

INTERVIEWER:
^[84] Is there one part of the writing process where you usually get stuck?

CHARMER:
^[85] No.

INTERVIEWER:
^[86] Did the events in the US on September 11, 2001 affect you in any way?

CHARMER:
^[87] My first thought was, "That's the end of the scrub order."

INTERVIEWER:
^[88] What kind of doughnut do you eat?

CHARMER:
^[89] I ask the baker to leave the sugar coating off.

INTERVIEWER:
^[90] Does the best writing flow for you, or does it come from rewrites?

CHARMER:
^[91] Both. I always read and check, but some stories need more work than others.

INTERVIEWER:
^[92] Which part of writing do you enjoy most and why?

CHARMER:
^[93] The finishing touches.

INTERVIEWER:
^[94] How often do you think about a piece when you're working on it and when do you think about it?

CHARMER:
^[95] I sometimes think about a piece while in a bubble bath, but apart from that only when I'm writing.

INTERVIEWER:
^[96] When someone walks into your bedroom, what are the first 5 things that they're likely to notice?

CHARMER:
^[97] Toys on the floor, probably.

INTERVIEWER:
^[98] Do you feel in control of your writing, or do you get carried away by your inspiration or characters?

CHARMER:
^[99] They do what I tell 'em.

INTERVIEWER:
^[100] If you consider yourself to have a muse, what exactly do you mean?

CHARMER:
^[101] I write the kind of thing I'd like to read, so my own amusement is my muse.

INTERVIEWER:
^[102] Tell the truth--are you your favorite writer, or in your own top five? Why or why not?

CHARMER:
^[103] I'm one of my favorites in terms of content just because I write the kind of thing I'd like to read. In terms of style, other favorite writers are way ahead of me.

INTERVIEWER:
^[104] Would the world be a better place if women ran it or would it be basically the same?

CHARMER:
^[105] I haven't a clue.

INTERVIEWER:
^[106] What is your favorite spot where you live now?

CHARMER:
^[107] The ruins of a motte and bailey castle nearby.

INTERVIEWER:
^[108] What books are you reading now? What about it/them is holding your attention?

CHARMER:
^[109] Books on Linux, because we're setting up a Linux server.

INTERVIEWER:
^[110] What would your friends say is your worst trait?

CHARMER:
^[111] I burp too loud.

INTERVIEWER:
^[112] Do you type with your fingers on the right keys?

CHARMER:
^[113] About half and half.

INTERVIEWER:
^[114] What is the longest any plant in your home has been with you?

CHARMER:
^[115] Six years.

INTERVIEWER:
^[116] Do you have any particular bedtime rituals that you follow every night?

CHARMER:
^[117] No.

INTERVIEWER:
^[118] If you find a spider in the bathtub, do you help it out or squish it?

CHARMER:
^[120] I pick them up and throw them out the window. They usually find their way back in though.

INTERVIEWER:
^[121] What was the last thing you bought that you really didn't need?

CHARMER:
^[122] A pair of sunglasses.

INTERVIEWER:
^[123] Have you ever smoked cigarettes?

CHARMER:
^[124] Only for acting in a play.

INTERVIEWER:
^[125] Who is your favorite Greek God?

CHARMER:
^[126] Aphrodite.

INTERVIEWER:
^[127] Why do fools fall in love?

CHARMER:
^[128] Do they? Probably because they can't help it.

INTERVIEWER:
^[129] Do you keep a diary?

CHARMER:
^[130] I don't keep one.

INTERVIEWER:
^[131] How has online writing affected your life and how you see yourself, your goals?

CHARMER:
^[132] It has made me aware of how imaginative and generous some people are, and how clueless and mean others are. As a result, one of my goals is to stick with the former and stay clear of the latter.

INTERVIEWER:
^[133] What skill would you like to have that you don't have now?

CHARMER:
^[134] I'd like to be able to pilot a light aircraft.

INTERVIEWER:
^[135] Who is your real life hero and why?

CHARMER:
^[136] I don't have one at the moment.

INTERVIEWER:
^[137] What fan fiction story touched you so much that you still remember it vividly?

CHARMER:
^[138] The Well of Sighs by Ella Quince.

INTERVIEWER:
^[139] If you could only choose a single climate with no variation would you prefer it to be sweltering hot or freezing cold?

CHARMER:
^[140] At a guess, I think I'm evolved better for cold.

INTERVIEWER:
^[141] What is the first thing you notice about someone when you meet them?

CHARMER:
^[142] That depends on the person.

INTERVIEWER:
^[143] Have you ever done something that accidentally caused something really bad to happen to someone?

CHARMER:
^[144] Not that I know of.

INTERVIEWER:
^[145] How is $25 well spent?

CHARMER:
^[146] That's about fifteen quid, is it? Seven bottles of Whitechapel Porter, then.

INTERVIEWER:
^[147] Would you rather live in a sociable suburb, or alone in the deep woods?

CHARMER:
^[148] Neither.

INTERVIEWER:
^[149] What literary character did you most identify with as a child?

CHARMER:
^[150] Merlin.

INTERVIEWER:
^[151] What is the source of your inspiration?

CHARMER:
^[152] See the Muse question.

INTERVIEWER:
^[153] Where do your ideas come from?

CHARMER:
^[154] Ditto.

INTERVIEWER:
^[155] What do you find most satisfying about your job?

CHARMER:
^[156] Making things work.

INTERVIEWER:
^[157] What are the three things you enjoy most about writing?

CHARMER:
^[158] Making people laugh, learning how to do things better, and finishing.

INTERVIEWER:
^[159] What were your favorite book, TV show, and movie when you were a teenager and what do you think of them now?

CHARMER:
^[160] I can't remember which book and movie, but my favorite show was Blake's 7 and I still think it's cool.

INTERVIEWER:
^[161] What's your idea of a perfect world?

CHARMER:
^[162] One without liars.

INTERVIEWER:
^[163] How real is your fiction to you?

CHARMER:
^[164] It isn't.

INTERVIEWER:
^[165] What Disney character do you most identify with and why?

CHARMER:
^[166] None.

INTERVIEWER:
^[167] Who do you read for inspiration?

CHARMER:
^[168] Bernard Cornwell.

INTERVIEWER:
^[169] What's your favorite website?

CHARMER:
^[170] That changes from day to day. The BBC is one I go to regularly.

INTERVIEWER:
^[171] When you were a kid what did you want to be when you grew up?

CHARMER:
^[172] A journalist, but I soon changed my mind.

INTERVIEWER:
^[173] What are the limits in sacrifices for true love?

CHARMER:
^[174] Hurting someone is beyond the limit.

INTERVIEWER:
^[175] If you could interview your favorite author, what questions would you ask? And, WHY?

CHARMER:
^[176] I don't have a favorite, but I sure would like to ask the writer of Beowulf all about the society of the time, because I'm into local history and English-Norse mythology. I'd have to learn Old English to communicate, though.

INTERVIEWER:
^[177] What makes a great kisser?

CHARMER:
^[178] Gentleness.

INTERVIEWER:
^[179] What have you learned from your animals?

CHARMER:
^[180] They're good to eat.

INTERVIEWER:
^[181] Does our society glorify violence to the point we have become desensitized to it and the consequences?

CHARMER:
^[182] We come from different societies, so I can't answer that.

INTERVIEWER:
^[183] What is your motto?

CHARMER:
^[184] Vae victis. Sad, isn't it?

INTERVIEWER:
^[185] Why do you think we take ourselves too seriously as writers?

CHARMER:
^[186] The sanctity of our vision, luvvie.

INTERVIEWER:
^[187] What questions should I have asked?

CHARMER:
^[188] I think you covered it.

Charmer's Stories

Charmer's e-mail address: charmer@purplelogic.co.uk
Charmer's stories are posted at Xena Dinosuaur Bards.

Comedies

Lila's Little Adventure
Lila learns something new about her sister when Gabrielle and Xena pay a visit.

Aphrodite's Catch
The goddess gets Xena into trouble with Gabrielle.

Trilogy

Comparing Notes
Three drinkers discuss a mutual friend.

Turning Tables
Gabrielle goes for broke.

Winning Smiles
A Summer Solstice Festival for all.

Darker Stuff

Purple And Gold
Xena's post-Rift dreamscape.

Shards
A sequel to Ides of March.

After Amphipolis
A sequel to Amphipolis Under Siege.

Wilder Stuff

Killian's Way
A threesome in the forest - mild kink.

A Taste Of The Warlord
Gabrielle takes charge - more kink.

Firm Aim, Fine Timing
Killian's back with yet more kink.

Xena Framed
Gabrielle issues a challenge. Even more kink.

Acknowledgments

Thanks to Kamouraskan for the beta.

Articles

L. J. Maas and Murphy Wilson [Amy Murphy]. One Step Beyond ... Uber, That Is. WHOOSH #49 (October 2000)

The "Inside the Head of…" series in Whoosh issues #58, 61-

Biography

Amy Murphy
Twenty-nine-year-old Amy Murphy resides in Indiana, and is an avid reader of Xena: Warrior Princess Fan Fiction. If it exists in the Xenaverse, chances are she's read it! Murphy has also tried her hand at writing FF, turning out two very nice pieces that reside on a couple of web sites throughout the Xenaverse.

Favorite episode: IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE
Favorite line: "I have many skills" (various episodes)
First episode seen: THE TITANS (07/107)
Least favorite episode: LYRE, LYRE HEARTS ON FIRE (100/510)