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Introduction (01-05)
Kathleen's's Head (06-176)
Kathleen's Stories
Acknowledgments
Articles
Biography
INSIDE THE HEAD OF KATHLEEN WOLF
Introduction
[01] Kathleen Wolf wrote the first series I liked on the topic of Hope and the rift our two heroes. It's a bit on the dark side, but it made a lot more sense to me then the way the 'Show' had it. Kathleen is a nice person and a very good bard.
Kathleen's Head
What are 'frames'? Heck, I don't even know what a 'website' is! INTERVIEWER:
[02] Why did you start writing?KATHLEEN WOLF:
[03] I started writing literally when I was a child. I was always jotting down stories and I began my first 'novel' at 12. It was my way to have things happen the way I wanted them to, a way of exerting control. Nothing is more empowering then having a group of characters that you can guide and foster. As I got older, writing became more of a sanctuary. It was my way of releasing all the whirling of my very busy mind in a way that actually produced something.INTERVIEWER:
[04] If you had to do it all over, would you be a bard? Would you write?WOLF:
[05] I would be a bard each and every time if I had the chance to do it over. Writing is an innate part of who I am, which is really just a poor vessel of my muse. If I go even a few days without writing something, I can literally feel the little neurons in my brain clogging up from inactivity. Writing is like breathing, I have to do it to survive.INTERVIEWER:
[06] Give us a brief day in the life of Kathleen?WOLF:
[07] Okay so like everyone else wake up, usually slowly and with much grumbling, then off for the morning routine to get the day underway. Most mornings the first thing I consciously do is check my email, in conjunction with having breakfast and getting ready for work. Work is a strange menagerie most days, as I work at a cemetery but I am quite sneaky and manage to slip a few hours editing or writing into my schedule. Then home to dinner and a few quick hours writing online.INTERVIEWER:
[08] How do you handle stress?WOLF:
[09] I usually get a migraine. Okay now really, stress is just one of those things you get on with, for me. Whatever it is that has to be done or dealt with, you just do, and get the migraine later. [10] I don't pay much attention to stress I have to say, there's just far too much of it around and if you let it cloud everything else then it starts to take over.INTERVIEWER:
[11] Years from now, how would you want to be remembered?WOLF:
[12] To friends and family: someone they can rely on to be there when they need me. For the population at large, a basically good loyal woman. In terms of writing, a student of finding the perfect image.INTERVIEWER:
[13] What is your pet peeve?WOLF:
[14] People who don't use the turning lane when driving. That makes me crazy.INTERVIEWER:
[15] Who is Kathleen?WOLF:
[16] She is a 26 year old lesbian Canadian, born and raised in a suburb of Toronto. Both parents' families are from Newfoundland on the East Coast, so she's been infused with a certain level of small town loyalty and friendliness, tempered with big city flair. She's incredibly bad at talking about herself in the third person.INTERVIEWER:
[17] Do fans expect to much from stars?WOLF:
[18] I think sometimes they do really. Unfortunately, I think sometimes fans find such a connection and passion from a character or show, it is so hard to embrace that while the actor/actress enjoys the role, they do not share the fan's fever for it. The bottom line to me is that stars are really just people, and in a setting where they are just them it's important not to confuse who they are and who they play. I'm that calm girl most likely to just nod and say 'I enjoy your work' rather than become picture and autograph crazy.INTERVIEWER:
[19] What are your feelings on censorship?WOLF:
[20] I think censorship is a fine line to walk between not stifling creative potential and the societal need to regulate just what is too much. The lines which divide porn from erotica, art from exploitation and opinion from hate are so minuscule I doubt the argument will ever be put to rest. I am a firm believer in an informed and consenting consumer, one who makes the choice of censoring their own life from the things they know they will find offensive. We are a world society of individuals who need to take responsibility for ourselves. I know that some may find the stories I write violently too graphic or disturbing, but I am the first to make sure the content of my writings is disclaimed and would be the first one to encourage someone who didn't enjoy that genre to read something else.INTERVIEWER:
[21] If you can cure one disease, what would it be and why?WOLF:
[22] Cancer, it takes far too many people too young and impacts on the lives of its survivors and watchers so horribly.INTERVIEWER:
[23] Do you believe in capital punishment? Why?WOLF:
[24] Yes. I have studied psychology and criminology and I am convinced of the reality that certain people cannot and will not be rehabilitated. There are just some crimes that cannot be made up for and they deserve compete and utter reprimand. I do think it should be qualified by infallible forensic evidence that gives all of us the peace of mind that the right perpetrator was punished for the crime.INTERVIEWER:
[25] What is the most sensitive part on your body?WOLF:
[26] My lower back, I don't let any but a chosen few near it.INTERVIEWER:
[27] What do you see yourself doing in the future? Future projects?WOLF:
[28] Moving to England to spend the rest of my life with the woman who completes my soul would be the big one, a distinctly difficult plan with immigration laws but we shall prevail. Future projects are many and exhausting. There are a thousand stories running around in my head and even more that are partially written and only await completion.INTERVIEWER:
[29] How do you handle depression?WOLF:
[30] I write poetry, very dark, brooding, depressing poetry. It's my outlet for that emotion and has been since I was a teenager. Poetry is a cathartic outlet in which I can use images to rip apart feelings to reflect the despair inside.INTERVIEWER:
[31] What was the hardest thing you ever did?WOLF:
[32] Get on a plane and leave England after six glorious months with my girlfriend.INTERVIEWER:
[33] What was the easiest?WOLF:
[34] Say 'I love you' when I found the right person.INTERVIEWER:
[35] What advice can you give to future writers?WOLF:
[36] Bottom line, love what you write. If you can't curl up in bed with your own work and lose yourself in the story again and again then you haven't been true to yourself. Boil it down to the fact that a writer should write for themselves. They should read a line, or picture and image and think… yeah, I nailed that.INTERVIEWER:
[37] What has the show Xena meant to you?WOLF:
[38] It has been like a good friend. There when you need it, able to change and adapt with whatever mood you were in and always willing to entertain. It has meant really coming to believe in my writing as more and more people commented on the stories I had posted.INTERVIEWER:
[39] How do you feel about its end?WOLF:
[40] I am very saddened to see it end, but I understand that it had to happen sometime. Though with the new digital imaging maybe we'll get them all resurrected in a few years.INTERVIEWER:
[41] What are your dreams? Hopes? Wishes?WOLF:
[42] My dreams are many, vivid and would take up a thousand pages. Basically I want to be happy, I want to make those around me smile and love the ones in my heart the best I can each day. I hope every day to do the impossible, even if it's something small. I wish that I could have wings for a day, just to see how much fun Sorrow does have.INTERVIEWER:
[43] Whom do you trust?WOLF:
[44] It's a short list, hard to get on and easy to get off. When I do trust, it is wholeheartedly and usually instantly. First impressions tell a lot, if you wouldn't trust someone to hold your bag first time you meet them it's unlikely you ever will.INTERVIEWER:
[45] What would you say every writer needs?WOLF:
[46] A pen, paper and imagination. With those three things, miracles can happen.INTERVIEWER:
[47] Do you believe in prayer?WOLF:
[48] Have to answer this one honestly? I don't, but I am notorious for saying the rosary in times of trauma. It's just something that was bred into me by my grandmother.INTERVIEWER:
[49] How do you feel about subtext?WOLF:
[50] As a consumer I love it. I think it's a fabulous way of saying maybe/maybe not to everyone watching and letting them draw their own conclusions. The reality is that I don't think it hurts anyone or takes away from the story line if it is done properly.INTERVIEWER:
[51] What makes your best friend your best friend?WOLF:
[52] Because she knows me like no body else and has been there through so many crises I can't even count. That and when I told her I was in love with a woman, her first and most important question was 'Are you happy?', it sealed the deal.INTERVIEWER:
[53] Could you or have you ever experienced, you or someone else reading one of your stories aloud in the public? What did / would you feel?WOLF:
[54] I have heard them read to me, which in a private setting is enjoyable but in a public one I'd be squirming in my seat I'm sure. More because my busy writer's brain would be thinking, 'could have said that better, should have used that word instead.' I am the eternal editor. I wouldn't object to it though if someone was so inclined.INTERVIEWER:
[55] What's the most romantic thing anyone has done for you?WOLF:
[56] Sent them cards every week counting down the number of days it would be until I was with them again.INTERVIEWER:
[57] What theme would you like to tackle in your next work?WOLF:
[58] My theme is pretty consistent I think. It's about reality, the fact that bad things happen to good people and that good people get through them somehow, even if it hurts. It's all about survival, in whatever form is possible. It's about accepting who you are and who the people around you are.INTERVIEWER:
[59] What was the last thing that made you smile recently?WOLF:
[60] Seeing a huge full bow rainbow.INTERVIEWER:
[61] What made you angry?WOLF:
[62] Hearing that on a lovely clear warm night, someone had nothing better to do then get into a gang fight and kill someone. I mean, go out for ice cream, please.INTERVIEWER:
[63] You now have absolute authority over the world. Omnipotent in all areas. What's your first move?WOLF:
[64] Just the world eh? I'd set up a currency free world and make sure that the incentive was there for everyone to do what they were good at, so that no one would want for anything and social classes would be abolished.INTERVIEWER:
[65] Do you have stalkers? If so, how have you handled them?WOLF:
[66] I would stalk them back. Hey what's going to freak someone out more than you taking pics of them while they watch you, and phoning them back to hang up when they do it. Since I've let my theory out to everyone I think that's why I haven't been stalked.INTERVIEWER:
[67] How would you categorize your best writing, and give the URL for them if posted?WOLF:
[68] I think my best writing is when I don't hold back the emotions of the characters, when I manage to have a hundred sub-plots all weaving together and even I feel by the end that it was a miracle I managed to tie it all in together.INTERVIEWER:
[69] What stupid thing did you do as a teen?WOLF:
[70] Had parties when my parents were out of town.INTERVIEWER:
[71] What, if anything, can stop you writing, if only for a while?WOLF:
[72] Time. There is sometimes far too little of it in a day and even less in a week. I'm big on needing time. Though I write quickly and usually with an obsession like fever, if I can't find the time to sit down and really get into what I'm doing it's a lost cause.INTERVIEWER:
[73] In your opinion, do you fit your astrological sign?WOLF:
[74] Sometimes yes, sometimes no. That I have the same one as my mother makes it hard to accept, as that would make us alike. I think I fit the whole organized, stubborn and loyal Capricorn outline, but sometimes it makes us sound a bit too stiff.INTERVIEWER:
[75] What to you is the worst feeling in the world?WOLF:
[76] Being out of control. I hate it when something is wrong and I can't fix it, can't even begin to make it right again. I hate it when I can't make someone feel better.INTERVIEWER:
[77] The best feeling in the world?WOLF:
[78] Holding hands with the one you love.INTERVIEWER:
[79] Favorite song of the moment?WOLF:
[80] Such a hard one, I guess I Want To Be In Love by Melissa Etheridge.INTERVIEWER:
[81] What is the first thing you think of in the morning?WOLF:
[82] Put my glasses on.INTERVIEWER:
[83] Is there one part of the writing process where you usually get stuck? What have you tried to change that, successful or not?WOLF:
[84] Endings, especially ones where the big trauma scene is over and everyone is just dealing with the aftermath. Consolidating the events in the characters mind is such a hard and touchy thing. [85] The best way I have to get through it is to write it flat out and then have a trusted author read it for me. She usually weeds out the good and bad bits for me and points me in the right direction.INTERVIEWER:
[86] What does gossip mean to you?WOLF:
[87] It means that people are too bored or self involved to know the person being talked about and actually find out the real facts.INTERVIEWER:
[88] Are people easily swayed by 'hearsay'?WOLF:
[89] I think they are. Though you might not take heed to what is said or really pay attention, a lot of people let the words sit in the back of their mind and when something does happen it's all, 'I heard they were like that'.INTERVIEWER:
[90] What are your feelings about people who use others for personal gain?WOLF:
[91] I think they are weak and lacking. You are only at your greatest when you can honestly work to help someone else achieve what they deserve and then step back to let them take the accolades.INTERVIEWER:
[92] What is a hypocrite?WOLF:
[93] Someone who doesn't do what they say, or say what they do.INTERVIEWER:
[94] What kind of doughnut do you eat?WOLF:
[95] Honey cruellers: light, lovely and sticky.INTERVIEWER:
[96] Does the best writing flow for you, or does it come from rewrites? Which part of writing do you enjoy most and why?WOLF:
[97] Best writing flows for me, it spills out onto the page so fast and furious I don't even remember what songs I've been listening too. I find rewrites hard, and sometimes it's difficult to rekindle the original feeling of the scene. I never make notes, all kept in my head and from there it just spills out. My favorite part is the big action scene, the culmination of many pages of build up all focused on one moment.INTERVIEWER:
[98] How often do you think about a piece when you're working on it and when do you think about it?WOLF:
[99] I think about it all the time, I dream about it, I synch out dialogue while I'm driving, I visual scenes in the shower. I'm a sad obsessed writer.INTERVIEWER:
[100] When someone walks into your bedroom, what are the first 5 things that they're likely to notice?WOLF:
[101] Wolves, candles, piles of paper, wind chimes, and probably laundry that hasn't been put away.INTERVIEWER:
[102] Do you feel in control of your writing, or do you get carried away by your inspiration or characters?WOLF:
[103] I am a slave to the characters. I'm just the one who does the typing as none of them can. The truth is that I do feel carried away. Most times you know where you need to get the story, but how you get there is a manifestation of itself and not really of anything that you had planned.INTERVIEWER:
[104] If you consider yourself to have a muse, what exactly do you mean?WOLF:
[105] That separate little entity that sits on your shoulder and whispers inspiration. A fickle little creature that will leave you in a heartbeat if you don't pay attention to it and above all things loves to be pampered.INTERVIEWER:
[106] Tell the truth--are you your favorite writer, or in your own top five? Why or why not?WOLF:
[107] I am not my favorite writer, but I am in my own top five only because I write the things I love to read. I write the characters I love. How could I not be in the top five?INTERVIEWER:
[108] Would the world be a better place if women ran it or would it be basically the same?WOLF:
[109] I think it would be a different place, but better is a function of comparison and not always reliable. I think certain things that we like to attribute, as a function of "men" would turn out to be a function of human nature more. Basically the world would be similar, some problems solved and others to take their place. We are creatures of conflict and possession, male or female, on a worldwide scale there will always be problems.INTERVIEWER:
[110] What is your favorite spot where you live now?WOLF:
[111] My computer chair at home, where all the magic begins.INTERVIEWER:
[112] What books are you reading now? What about it/them is holding your attention?WOLF:
[113] I am re-reading a few Buffy Fanfiction stories I have co- written and slowly getting my way through Hannibal on my lunches at work. What holds my attention is how characters age and develop, how stories hint at the future even when you didn't mean them too.INTERVIEWER:
[114] What would your friends say is your worst trait?WOLF:
[115] I'm crazy! Really I am, in an extremist sort of way. I dance when no one else is out on the floor, I eat ice cream like a little kid, I will jump in puddles, buy presents for no reason but to make someone smile and a million other things that make me crazy I'm told.INTERVIEWER:
[116] Do you type with your fingers on the right keys?WOLF:
[117] Yep, I type around 70-75 wpm when I get going.INTERVIEWER:
[118] What is the longest any plant in your home has been with you?WOLF:
[119] A few years, but I was not in charge of it.INTERVIEWER:
[120] Do you have any particular bedtime rituals (glass of warm milk, etc.) that you follow every night?WOLF:
[121] Heat packs for my back and shoulder. I was in a car accident a few years ago and have muscle/tendon damage. That and reading, I love to read before I go to sleep.INTERVIEWER:
[122] If you find a spider in the bathtub, do you help it out or squish it?WOLF:
[123] Depends on the mood and the day. More helping than squishing.INTERVIEWER:
[124] What was the last thing you bought that you really didn't need?WOLF:
[125] Candy, one must always indulge in candy.INTERVIEWER:
[126] Have you ever smoked cigarettes--explainWOLF:
[127] Nope. I was the one non smoker and all the smokers around me kept me as their non-smoking martyr. I wasn't allowed to smoke, even if I was holding one for someone else, they'd panic and steal it.INTERVIEWER:
[128] Who is your favorite Greek God?WOLF:
[129] Hera. Only 'cause I think if she had of gotten over the jealousy and betrayal thing more she would have been one formidable goddess when focused.INTERVIEWER:
[130] Why do fools fall in love?WOLF:
[131] Cause they're not looking for it and it's softer than the surrounding concrete.INTERVIEWER:
[132] Do you keep a diary?WOLF:
[133] I have a journal, one that I have been chronically neglecting. Which is a sign my writing is going well. Journal writing means I'm feeling blocked.INTERVIEWER:
[134] How has online writing affected your life and how you see yourself, your goals?WOLF:
[135] It has changed my life completely as it was online where I met the woman who completes me and from that everything I had mapped out has changed three hundred and sixty degrees. It has also made me focus a lot more on my writing and the possibility that I could focus on it as a career.INTERVIEWER:
[136] What skill would you like to have that you don't have now?WOLF:
[137] I would like to be able to fly.INTERVIEWER:
[138] Who is your real life hero and why?WOLF:
[139] My mother; she is an amazing woman who has put up with so much adversity and still kept going despite it all.INTERVIEWER:
[140] What fan fiction story touched you so much that you still remember it vividly?WOLF:
[141] T. Novan's Raising Melosa Series (http://www.ausxip.com/fanfiction/rm/). I thought it was brilliantly laid out to include precious moments in frame.INTERVIEWER:
[142] If you could only choose a single climate with no variation would you prefer it to be sweltering hot or freezing cold?WOLF:
[143] Freezing cold, cause that would mean snow and someone very important to me loves snow.INTERVIEWER:
[144] What is the first thing you notice about someone when you meet them?WOLF:
[145] If they hold your eyes, and what lies there for you to see.INTERVIEWER:
[146] Have you ever done something that accidentally caused something really bad to happen to someone?WOLF:
[147] Not that I know of.INTERVIEWER:
[148] How is $25 well spent?WOLF:
[149] A good meal, flowers, or a present to make someone smile.INTERVIEWER:
[150] Would you rather live in a sociable suburb, or alone in the deep woods?WOLF:
[151] Alone in the woods, I can always drive into town when I'm feeling social.INTERVIEWER:
[152] What literary character did you most identify with as a child?WOLF:
[153] The Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz. I always felt such a responsibility of duty but that something was missing in my life.INTERVIEWER:
[154] What is the source of your inspiration?WOLF:
[155] You'd have to ask my muse that but I'm afraid she's declined comment. If I had to guess, details in the world around me, small things are always the biggest inspiration.INTERVIEWER:
[156] Where do your ideas come from?WOLF:
[157] Anything, everything, dreams, conversations, television, books. Ideas are everywhere.INTERVIEWER:
[158] What do you find most satisfying about your job?WOLF:
[159] Knowing that at the end of the day we've made the worst day of someone's life a bit easier.INTERVIEWER:
[160] What are the three things you enjoy most about writing?WOLF:
[161] The euphoria that comes with the first idea, the revelation of seeing the plot unfold out of your head onto paper, and coming to the end when it seemed so far off.INTERVIEWER:
[162] What were your favorite book, TV show, and movie when you were a teenager and what do you think of them now?WOLF:
[163] Book: Anne Rice - Queen of the Damned
TV Show: Twin Peaks
Movie: Wizard of OzStill love them all, have copies of each.
INTERVIEWER:
[164] What's your idea of a perfect world?WOLF:
[165] One in which you know that by the time you've gone to sleep at night, things will be even better than they were that morning.INTERVIEWER:
[166] How real is your fiction to you?WOLF:
[167] Very. If I can't believe it, see it, feel it, then there is no way I'm writing it properly. Writing is a sensory experience. It is not just words on a page, it is a spell to weave the reader into the scene and for a brief moment make it seem like reality.INTERVIEWER:
[168] What Disney character do you most identify with and why?WOLF:
[169] Thumper, love took me by surprise too.INTERVIEWER:
[170] Who do you read for inspiration?WOLF:
[171] Comics, nothing like a good laugh to get you going.INTERVIEWER:
[172] What's your favorite website?WOLF:
[173] I really don't have one. I have about 40 top favorites bookmarked but I could never just pick one. They all serve different purposes.INTERVIEWER:
[174] When you were a kid what did you want to be when you grew up?WOLF:
[175] I wanted to go to university. I never really specified what for. Then it became a neurosurgeon.INTERVIEWER:
[176] What are the limits in sacrifices for true love?WOLF:
[177] The limits are simple, true love wouldn't expect you to pass them, true love would find a way to go around them without causing damage.INTERVIEWER:
[178] If you could interview your favorite author, what questions would you ask? And, WHY?WOLF:
[179] I would probably have specific questions about scenes, and character's reactions. My questions would probably more turn into a why didn't you do it this way or that way?INTERVIEWER:
[180] What makes a great kisser?WOLF:
[181] Attentiveness, remembering that you are both being kissed and kissing someone else.INTERVIEWER:
[182] What have you learned from your animals?WOLF:
[183] When you're sick, lie down somewhere soft and warm.INTERVIEWER:
[184] Does our society glorify violence to the point we have become desensitized to it and the consequences?WOLF:
[185] I think anyone who is desensitized needs only get a paper cut to suddenly vividly remember that pain hurts. There is a lot of violence around, but I am not one who believes it should be hidden. To live in fear of something doesn't make it change, to shield yourself from something doesn't make it go away. The key to violence in media/writing is to show its honest ramifications. People get hurt, people die, and these things do not get wrapped up in a half- hour or an hour. Life goes on with grief and painful recoveries. That is the fact we are missing I think; we are not desensitized to the violence, we are ignorant of the aftermath.INTERVIEWER:
[186] What is your motto?WOLF:
[187] A promise made is a debt unpaid. Go big or go home! I am Canadian.INTERVIEWER:
[188] What do you think we take too seriously as writers?WOLF:
[189] Our own importance to the story. Yes, if we didn't write it no one could read it, but if no one reads it, all we have is words on a page. Even if only to read it yourself, words are written to be read, the act of writing them down is not the important bit.INTERVIEWER:
[190] What questions should I have asked?WOLF:
[191] I think you covered a good range that needed thought and humor.
Kathleen's Stories
Kathleen's e-mail address: kathleen_wolf@yahoo.com
Sorrow Series
SorrowThese are a series of stories based on the changing fact that when Dahak raped Gabrielle she actually was pregnant with twins. Hope, who will live on in the actual series, and Sorrow (a demon with a human soul), who risks unthinkable horrors to reunite with her mother.
A Need For Sorrow
Sorrow's Sacrifice
Sorrow's Coronation
Trial By Sorrow
In Sorrow's Shadow
Sisters of Sorrow
Acknowledgments
Thanks to Kamouraskan for the beta.
Articles
L. J. Maas and Murphy Wilson [Amy Murphy]. One Step Beyond ... Uber, That Is. WHOOSH #49 (October 2000)
The "Inside the Head of…" series in Whoosh issues #58, 61-
Biography
Amy Murphy
Twenty-nine-year-old Amy Murphy resides in Indiana, and is an avid reader of Xena: Warrior Princess Fan Fiction. If it exists in the Xenaverse, chances are she's read it! Murphy has also tried her hand at writing FF, turning out two very nice pieces that reside on a couple of web sites throughout the Xenaverse.
Favorite episode: IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE
Favorite line: "I have many skills" (various episodes)
First episode seen: THE TITANS (07/107)
Least favorite episode: LYRE, LYRE HEARTS ON FIRE (100/510)
