Whoosh! Issue 67 - April 2002


By Ancestrina Benson
Content © 2002 held by author
WHOOSH! edition © 2002 held by Whoosh!
3279 words

Introduction (01-02)
Kevin Smith on Xena: Warrior Princess (03-06)
Kevin Smith Episodes: Xena: Warrior Princess (07-36)
Kevin Smith Episodes: Hercules: The Legendary Journeys (37-62)


Rest in peace, Kevin Smith. Death is not the end; it is the beginning of the real life.


Some people would buy *anything* from this guy!

Kevin Smith's first appearance on XENA was in THE RECKONING

[01] This episode guide reviews the episodes in which Kevin Smith appeared in Xena: Warrior Princess. Despite Kevin Smith has also appeared in Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, I am not a Hercules fan, so I only included his Hercules episodes at the end of this review.

[02] In this guide, you can click on the title of the episode to read the Whoosh! episode guide entry for it. If you would like more information about Kevin Smith's professional and personal life, you can visit the best fan resource at Kevin Smith Online.

Kevin Smith on Xena: Warrior Princess

[03] Kevin Smith appeared in thirty episodes of Xena: Warrior Princess. All of them were as Ares God of War. In Season One, Ares appeared in only two episodes, and he was not yet a strong influence in the series. Although he was only a minor character in the first season, his two appearances were functional because they served to illustrate how deep Xena's repentance was and how she coped with the shadow of her past. This allowed us to see how heavy was the weight Xena carried.

[04] In Season Two, Ares appeared in three episodes. Although he was again a secondary character, we see how significant Xena was to Ares. It is clear that Ares was willing to do anything to get Xena back, even at the cost of Xena's reputation when he exchanged Xena into Callisto's body in INTIMATE STRANGER. In Season Two, Ares also went through the important experience of being mortal for some hours. He learned how difficult it was to be human in TEN LITTLE WARLORDS. However, despite this crucial experience, Ares was still the same bloody god who wanted to triumph over Xena and get her back. This is made clear in Season Two's THE XENA SCROLLS and later in Season Four's DEJA VU ALL OVER AGAIN, which was Smith's only appearance that season.

[05] In Season Five, Ares was more central and sentimental because he appeared in ten episodes and he openly showed his feelings for Xena, as well as helping Xena's daughter to survive. In MOTHERHOOD, he demonstrated the love he felt for Xena by giving up his immortality to save Gabrielle and Eve. This was a very special moment for Ares because he gained more respect and more confidence with Xena and Gabrielle. Moreover, in MOTHERHOOD and throughout Season Five, we learned that beyond his bloody nature and gory wishes, in a sense, Ares was still a person who felt like a man. No matter how bad Ares was, love was stronger than his warlike nature.

[06] In Season Six, he appeared six times, but his appearances were not as significant as in Season Five. They were still very interesting and amusing, however. He was human again, and re-learned how hard mortal life was. In my opinion, OLD ARES HAD A FARM was the best ever comedy that Kevin Smith performed on Xena: Warrior Princess. He did an excellent job and this allowed us to see how good an actor Smith was. In his last episode, SOUL POSSESSION, we see again the God of War's real purpose. In spite of his changes and experiences throughout the entire series, he wants Xena back, and it seems he will never surrender.

Kevin Smith Episodes: Xena: Warrior Princess

Season One

[07] (06/106) THE RECKONING
Ares appears for the first time to blame Xena for some villagers' deaths. However, Xena, more intelligent than Ares, deceives him and he has to revive the villagers that he killed. What mortal can deceive a god? Xena is the only one to date!

[08] (20/120) TIES THAT BIND
Ares makes Xena believe that an old man is her father, but actually the old man is Ares, pretending to be Atrius, Xena's real father. This episode gives some clues as to the relationship between Xena and Ares. If we examine the information of this episode along with the Season Three episode THE FURIES, we can see the complexity of the real bond that Xena has with the god of war.

Season Two

With Ares' help, Callisto exchanges bodies with Xena. Ares uses Xena's guilt to invade her dreams and Callisto comes to be Xena. However, in the end, Ares realizes that Callisto has deceived him. Again, a mortal deceives Ares. Who is the second person that can deceive a god? Callisto.


Hudson notes Kevin failed to wax his back as fastidiously as his chest

Ares' first brush with mortality is in TEN LITTLE WARLORDS

Sisyphus steals Ares' sword so Ares becomes a mortal. Ares has to ask Xena's help (who is still in Callisto's body) to get his sword back. Ares promises Xena to return her original body. This episode highlights Kevin Smith's comedic skills.

[11] (34/210) THE XENA SCROLLS
In the mid-twentieth century, Xena's reincarnation shows up to battle with Ares, who wakes up after sleeping for thousands of years. In this show, Ares has very smooth skin because sleeping so many years can rejuvenate. Why was Ares trapped in a tomb? (Because he wanted a facial?) It is all a big mystery that has to date never been revealed in the series.

Season Three

[12] (47/301) THE FURIES
Ares convinces The Furies to punish Xena, with the excuse that she never avenged her father's death. Despite all his efforts to drive Xena crazy, she deceives him one more time by making the Furies believe that Ares is his father. For many people this crucial episode shows us Xena's real origin.

[13] (49/303) THE DIRTY HALF DOZEN
Ares steal Hephaestus' secret metal-making technique and gives it to a warrior called Agathon, who uses this secret to create an invincible army. As usual, Xena intervenes and destroys this evil army.

[14] (50/304) THE DELIVERER
Ares only appears in two tiny scenes. As usual, he annoys Xena until he gets her pardon for what he did in The Furies. Xena, why did not you just kick him in the hinder?

[15] (56/310) THE QUILL IS MIGHTIER...

No, she really *is* my sister!

Ares and Aphrodite both have to deal with mortality in THE QUILL IS MIGHTIER

Aphrodite gets in Gabrielle's way by casting a spell on her scroll. This episode also highlights Smith's comedic skills. I loved the scene where Ares makes a naughty face when he is looking at three naked Gabrielles.

[16] (58/312) THE BITTER SUITE
Another great episode and we find another facet of Kevin Smith's many skills: he could sing and dance. Despite Ares being a bad-natured man, he was a big guy, too!

[17] (63/317) FORGET ME NOT
Ares acts as a guide for Gabrielle, who feels sorry about her past. However, in the end, Gabrielle kills him and she realizes that it was not Ares, actually.

[18] (67/321) SACRIFICE I
Xena and Gabrielle vainly struggle to stop evil Hope's re-emergence from her cocoon with the help of Ares and Callisto. Ares has an important influence because he saves Hope's cocoon just when Xena is close to destroying it.

[19] (68/322) SACRIFICE II
At last, Hope re-emerges with Ares' help and they become a couple. In this capacity, he acts a little badly. He makes a deal with The Fates that if Xena kills Hope, then Xena will die.

Season Four

[20] (90/422) DEJA VU ALL OVER AGAIN

Reaction to agent's first offer

Using that patented Ares laugh to full effect.

This is another episode taking place in the twentieth century, this time late in the century. Ares tries to convince Xena's reincarnation to be bad again. Harry, who is the reincarnation, fights him off and meets Gabrielle's reincarnation, Mattie.

Season Five

[21] (92/502) CHAKRAM
Ares wants memory-impaired Xena to get the light chakram to get the absolute power, so she can kill gods. However, Xena manages to remember her past and join the dark chakram with the light chakram in order to neutralize its power.

[22] (93/503) SUCCESSION
Ares merges Xena and Gabrielle into the same body to fight against Mavican to see if this woman can be Xena's successor.

[23] (99/509) SEEDS OF FAITH
Ares kills Eli in an effort to stop the fall of the gods as he tries to convince Gabrielle to be his new bloody warrior. Fortunately, Gabrielle does not buy it.

[24] (102/512) GOD FEARING CHILD
As Xena prepares to give birth, Hercules arrives to protect her and her unborn child from Zeus. Zeus learns from the Fates that Xena's baby, who was "not begotten by man", will bring about the twilight of the gods, and he orders her death. When Hercules finds out, he vows to protect her at all costs. Knowing the gravity of the inevitable confrontation, Xena and Gabrielle descend into Tartarus to find Hades' helmet of invisibility, while Hercules searches for a dagger made from the rib of Chronos -- the only weapon that can kill his father. During all this, Ares keeps on hitting on Xena, telling her he is willing to be a father to her unborn child.

[25] (103/513) ETERNAL BONDS
When a poisonous sword intended to kill Xena and Eve wounds Joxer, it is up to Gabrielle to get him to the antidote. Meanwhile, Xena combats armies sent by priests of the gods. Ares approaches Xena and tells her that he is dying and he wants to have a child with her so that he can experience genetic immortality. Xena, as usual, tells him to take a hike, although she does have some rather graphic dream-like moments about the god of war.

Ares protects Xena's daughter Eve to gain Xena's love. Xena deceives Ares one more time by making him defend a doll.

Old Joxer tells the history of how Xena managed to save her daughter. Ares freezes Xena and Gabrielle in a frozen mountain where they sleep for twenty-five years.

[28] (110/520) LIVIA
Xena and Gabrielle wake up to find that now Eve is Livia, a wicked Roman trained by Ares.

[29] (111/521) EVE
Xena tries to recover her real daughter Eve with the help of Ares. As usual, Ares gets in the way to annoy Xena once more time.

[30] (112/522) MOTHERHOOD

Eeww!  Moustache lips!

Ares gives up his immortality for Eve and Gabrielle.

In one of the best episodes, Ares gives up his godhood in order to show Xena his love for the Warrior Princess.

Season Six

[31] (113/601) COMING HOME
Fed up with being mortal, Ares calls upon Xena to help him restore his godhood, unaware that the Furies are conspiring against him.

[32] (122/610) OLD ARES HAD A FARM

Hello!  A jacket please?!  It's freezing out here!

Ares once again confronts mortality in ARES FARM.

To protect Ares from a gang of revenge-seeking warlords, Xena brings him to her childhood home and disguises him as a farmer.

[33] (124/612) THE GOD YOU KNOW
The Archangel Michael summons Xena to kill the now immortal Roman emperor Caligula, who has been murdering innocents in his quest for absolute power. Ares informs Xena that getting rid of the god of war has made the god of love a tad imbalanced and that Caligua is manipulating Aphrodite.

[34] (125/613) YOU ARE THERE
Much to their chagrin, a tabloid-TV reporter attempts to learn why Xena and Gabrielle have returned to Norse lands. His investigation leads him to suspect that Xena is plotting to kill Odin and make herself a god in his place. However, his story takes a twist when a mysterious informant explains that the Warrior Princess is trying to save the world and that the reporter should follow the love if he wants the true story. Ares gets his godly powers back in this episode.

[35] (126/614) PATH OF VENGEANCE
Eve is taken prisoner by Varia, the queen of the Amazons, who seeks revenge for Eve's past life as Livia, when she slaughtered Varia's younger sister during an attack on the Amazons. When Xena learns of Eve's fate, she and Gabrielle set out to rescue Xena's daughter. In the process, they learn that the Amazons are preparing to wage war against the Romans and that none other than Ares is behind the plot.

[36] (132/620) SOUL POSSESSION
A sequel to DÉJÀ VU ALL OVER AGAIN, we find Harry and Mattie are now married to each other. Ares returns to try one more time to seduce Xena to the dark side and join his cause.

Kevin Smith Episodes: Hercules: The Legendary Journeys

[37] Kevin Smith appeared in 24 episodes of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, and did Ares' voice in the animated direct to video motion picture, Hercules and Xena: The Animated Movie. He played a variety of parts in Hercules. What follows is a mini-episode guide for the Hercules' episodes.

Season Two

[38] (H16/203) WHAT'S IN A NAME?
Played Iphicles (Hercules' mortal half-brother) and Iphicles impersonating Hercules
A not-so-heroic Hercules imposter, Hercules' mortal half-brother Iphicles, is about to wed the stepdaughter of an evil warlord.

Played Iphicles
Yet another of Hera's plots to kill Hercules threatens the wedding of Hercules' mother to the legendary Greek hero Jason.

Season Three

[40] (H49/312) SURPRISE
Played Iphicles
Xena's mortal foe Callisto crashes Hercules' birthday party, spikes the punch, and forces Hercules into the Labyrinth of the Gods. Callisto's mission: kill him. However, if she fails, she will die instead.

[41] (H50/313) ENCOUNTER
Played Ares (God of War, Hercules' immortal half-brother)
Ares' murder plot backfires when the Golden Hind falls for Hercules. Hercules sets out to rescue a half-deer damsel who is in distress: an evil prince collaborating with Hercules' foe (and half brother) Ares is chasing her.

Played Ares
Hercules goes weak in the knees after he proposes to his new love, Serena, a half-woman, half-deer creature called the Golden Hind, who is a virtual slave to Hercules' evil half-brother, Ares.

[43] (H52/315) JUDGEMENT DAY
Played Ares
Xena intervenes when Ares and Strife frame Hercules for the murder of Serena.

Played Ares
Hercules fights Ares, to save his future bride from death, while Autoylcus steals the key to time travel.

Season Four


Thankyew!  Thankyew vurrah much!

In an alternate universe, Ares is the God of Love.

Played Ares (both as God of War and God of Love)
Following a fierce battle with Ares, Hercules races to rescue Iolaus from a cutthroat parallel universe and save the life of his father, Zeus.

[46] (H65/406) TWO MEN AND A BABY
Played Ares
After finding out he is a father, Hercules engages in a fierce battle with Ares over the life of the magically endowed baby.

[47] (H69/410) HERCULES ON TRIAL
Played Ares
Hercules is tried for manslaughter when a man impersonating him is killed while doing a good deed. Ares, of course, loves the whole situation.

[48] (H72/413) ARMAGEDDON NOW I
Played Ares
Evil Hope frees Callisto and sends her back in time to keep Hercules from being born. Ares realizes that things get totally screwed up so he sends Iolaus back in time to stop Callisto from changing time.

[49] (H73/414) ARMAGEDDON NOW II
Played Ares
Iolaus encounters the evil, unreformed Xena during his journey into the past to stop Callisto from killing the pregnant Alcmene before she can give birth to Hercules. Xena and Ares are an item in this timeline.


And with these dark glasses on, Tapert won't know I'm snoozing!

Left to right, Head Writer Jerry Brown (Kevin Smith), Liz Friedman (Hudson Leick), and Paul Coyle (Michael Hurst)

Played Jerry Patrick Brown (writer for Hercules) and Ares
After an earthquake hits modern-day Los Angeles, the show's producers are hit with a devastating aftershock: series star Kevin Sorbo is nowhere to be found.

[51] (H75/416) PORKULES
Played Ares
Iolaus and Autolycus race to save Hercules after he is put on a butcher's chopping block following his transformation into a pig by Discord, who was trying to impress Ares so that she would replace Strife as his sidekick.

[52] (H76/417) ONE FOWL DAY
Played Ares
Ares punishes Iolaus and Autolycus for turning Discord into a chicken by chaining them together naked. Hercules' pig friend fulfills her dream of becoming human.

[53] (H78/419) WAR WOUNDS
Played Iphicles
A bitter King Iphicles' actions against Grecian war veterans puts his and Iolaus' lives in danger when they are forced to battle the carnivorous sandworms.

[54] (H81/422) REUNIONS
Played Ares
Hercules must save Zeus after Hera strips him of his powers. Iolaus is reunited with his mother. Hera sends Ares to kill Zeus.

Season Five

Played Jerry Patrick Brown and Ares
A sequel to the modern day YES VIRGINIA THERE IS A HERCULES, Annoyed with the lame storylines on Hercules, a mercurial studio chief gives executive producer Rob Tapert a week to come up with new plots or else. So the writers, producers and star Kevin Sorbo head off to a rustic (make that seedy) corporate retreat for some brainstorming. However, they cannot get much work done because somebody keeps trying to kill them.

[56] (H92/511) REDEMPTION
Played Ares
Herc, Morrigan, Nebula, and Zarathustra battle to rid the world of Dahak and free the spirit of Iolaus. Dahak has decided that Ares must die, so they must also protect Ares.


Sloooowly I turn...

Kevin improvised the line 'Does this make my butt look big?'

Played Ares, God of Love
Hercules travels back to the Alternate Universe and meets up with Ares, god of Love, and the Jester.

[58] (H101/520) FADE OUT
Played Ares
A curse cooked up by Discord, Deimos, and Ares has Hercules fading fast.

[59] (H103/522) REVELATIONS
Played Ares

Iolaus returns from the dead to warn Hercules that the end of the world is at hand. Ares joins with Hercules to stop the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

Season Six

[60] (H104/601) BEDEVILED
Played Ares
Hercules comes face to face with the darkest side of himself. Serena is back and Ares.

[61] (H111/608) FULL CIRCLE
Played Ares

We'll miss you, mate

Ares is foiled again at the end of the HERC series in FULL CIRCLE.

Zeus uses Ares' son, Evander, to free Hera from the Abyss of Tartarus.

[62] Hercules & Xena: The Animated Movie
Ares (voice)
Zeus brings Hercules' mother, Alcmene, to Mount Olympus, and Hercules, believing she has been kidnapped, leads a rescue mission to save her. Zeus' jealous wife, Hera, decides that it should now be her time to rule the universe. Hera steals the Chronos Stone, source of the God's power, and unleashes the four Titans from their eons of imprisonment.


a woman of mystery Ancestrina Benson
Ancestrina is an Italian teacher in Mexico. She has been watching Xena since the first ever episode in Hercules. She loves music and gymnastics and her dream is to travel around Europe and meet Lucy Lawless.

Favorite episode: Any with evil Callisto, THE QUEST, The Ring Trilogy, BETWEEN THE LINES, THE DEBT, and IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE
Favorite line: Gabrielle: "Any path is okay Xena, if it is with you" THE ABYSS
First episode seen: THE WARRIOR PRINCESS (Hercules)
Favorite fan fiction: I read a fan fiction in Italian called "Il mio amore senza fine (My endless love)". It is the best Über story about how Xena finds Gabrielle.
Favorite scene: When Callisto throws the chakram to Xena's back (THE IDES OF MARCH). It is a meraviglioso scene!
Least favorite scene: The first ten minutes of FRIEND IN NEED II



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