Special to WHOOSH!
By Mary Beth Cavert (
Copyright © 1997 held by author
1308 words

Little does he know...

[01] The Perdica Collection is a list of voGabulary words (perdicese) used in association with the characters Perdicas/Perdicus, Gabrielle and Xena in the internationally syndicated TV show XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS. The character Perdicas/Perdicus was introduced in the first episode, SINS OF THE PAST (#01). Perdicas, a Poteidaian farmer, planned to marry Gabrielle, who left her home to travel with the warrior, Xena. Gabrielle met Perdicus again (he left his farm to "fight for love") at the siege of Troy in BEWARE GREEKS BEARING GIFTS (#12). In RETURN OF CALLISTO (#29), Perdicus and Gabrielle were married. Within a few hours, Perdicus was killed by Xena's mortal enemy, Callisto.

[02] Perdicese is a transient language (here today, gone tomorrow, like its namesake) used to reduce the length of episode synopses. The Perdica Collection is less than encycloperdic in scope and is loosely designed as a perdictionary without the encumberance of an alphabetical order.

  1. Perdicese voGabulary list
  2. Perdicese synopsis of Return of Callisto

PERDICRASS - Perdicas of Poteidaia, aka PERDIKLUTZ.

PERDICUTE - Perdicus of Troy.

PERDATORY - a state of being neither Perdicas nor Perdicus, from a centuries-old exegesis by Pope Perdicament, used as a resource by writer R.J. Stewart, R.J. Steward or R.J. Stuart; a state of being without, not having, a Perdicas or Perdicus.

PERDICRUSH - Gabrielle's infatuation at Troy.

PERDIKITH - Gabrielle's status as a friend at Troy, also affiliated with Perdikin.

PERDICRUISE - to travel about without a purpose or destination, Perdicus' activities between Gabrielle encounters.

PERDICRASH - to gain admittance though uninvited, Perdicus' entry into Xena's campsite.

PERDICROUCH - to bend low to the ground as a soldier preparing to spring, or as in shrinking in fear, or as in proposing to Gabrielle.


Even a depressed Perdicus gets his girl

PERDICRUX - a critical moment of pacifism.

PERDICLUES - hints that something fatal will happen.

PERDICOURSE - an accelerated timeline, as in "It was a perdicourse of events that propelled Gabrielle into a sudden marriage with Perdicus;" also, colloquial for a short honeymoon.

PERDICUT - to abridge or shorten, to edit by omitting a part in order to achieve a perdicourse.

PERDICLASP - post-wedding rite, performed by Perdicus and the Warrior of Honor, which signifies the acceptance of a member into an extended family.


He got at least one night of making whoopie

PERDIKISS - a gesture of affection or love from Perdicus. A Perdikiss delivered with the hands holding the face of the perdikissed signifies a long separation. A perdikiss with a full embrace and the incantation, "Now I know what love is," portends imminent death.

PERDICLAUSE - the part of pre-nuptial agreement which voids a conjugal contract; escape clause.

PERDICUSP - the edge of extinction.

PERDICLEAVE - to hew apart Perdicus.

PERDICURSED - perdikaput, callistoast, doomed to die, as in "Many of Gabrielle's love interests were Perdicursed," Gabrielle's exclamation at Perdicus' death, "Oh, Perdicursed!"

PERDICASE - a legal prosecution without significance, a suit against Callisto rendered moot by episodes XXIX, XXXI, XXXII (season 2: episodes 5,7,8).

JURIS PERDIS - abbr. J.P., a local magistrate appointed to perform marriages for Perdicus and sprinkle flower petals on his head; a legal writer specializing in perdiclauses.

PERD' ACCUSE - Fr., to be accused with an action related to Perdicus.

PERDICAST - to pitch, chuck, fling or hurl Perdicus; in entertainment, to be cast in a role played by more than one actor; in Greece, an Athenian chosen by lot to sit in judgement of soldiers who are AWOL.

PERDICULT - camp followers, or a short-lived interest as in PERDICRAZE.

PERDICASS - a long-eared, slow, patient domesticated mammal, what Perdicas uses to haul.


Who wouldn't go ga-ga after Gabrielle?

PERDICOWS - livestock owned by Perdicas.

PERDICROPS - corn or wheat which is harvested with a song accompanied by a plaintive tune on the kaval.

PERDICREST - the crested badge of the Perdiclan: a dexter arm, embowed, couped, proper, fessways, grasping a broken sword fitchy, gules. Motto: perdicant, perdican, perdicante (I canna marry Perdicus, I can, gotta be me). Gaelic name: Mac na Ghille Braeille.

PERDICANTE - I canna marry Perdicus or I gotta be me, part of the motto of the clan badge PERDICREST (perdicant, perdican, perdicante), a cause of xenesse-envy.

PERDICUPS - trophies awarded during the autumn festival in Poteidaia after a three day competition in which young men harvest a field of wheat, run to Troy and back, wed a village virgin and fall on a sword.

PERDICUSS - to criticize or reprimand Perdicus in harsh or vulgar terms, syn. perdicastration.

PERDIKECK - to be nauseated by Perdica, syn. PERDISGUST, a strong distaste, loathing, aversion to Perdica.

PERD - a boring, dull person.

PERDICAM - a camera designed for extreme full-face close-up photography in candlelight or firelight and for recording a plaintive tune played on the kaval.

PERDICKEY - the top of Perdicus' service uniform; also used in reference to Gabrielle's bilious green (service) sports bra.

PERDIKILT - the lower part of Perdicus' service uniform, part of a perdicostume.

PERDICTABLE - a prophetic sense of fatal inevitability.

PERDICAMENT - a troublesome situation, a choice beween perdicastray or perdatory.

PERDICREATE - to generate female offspring and name them Xena.

PERDICASTRAY - to wander from the right place; to become separated from one's companion because of Perdicus.

PERDICASEPTIC - clean, Donny Osmond-like.

PERDICROIX DU GUERRE - a military award given to Perdicus by Helen of Troy.


Gabrielle and Perdicas meeting again after she ditched him a year ago

PERDI(Martin)GUERRE - a Perdicas/Perdicus imposter.

PERD ACCOMPLI - Fr., as in fait accompli, to close the books on Perdicus.

PERDICAHONTAS - a cartoon-like or romantic character who is written into an historical setting or event.

PERDICASPIRE - to aspire to get better-looking, more adventurous, more virtuous, then die.



Callisto congratulating Gabrielle on the upcoming divorce

PERDISH - to be destroyed in a violent manner.

PERDICKENS - an exclamation of surprise pertaining to a sudden change in appearance and manner as in, "What the perdickens happened to your face/hair/height/personality?!"

PERDFECT - a response to Gabrielle's imagination, as in the episode ALTARED STATES (#19). In the cave, Gabrielle confides that "Just between you and me, the altos are slightly flat." Xena replies, "Perdfect."

PERDI WOMAN - a re-make of RETURN OF CALLISTO (#29) in which the adventuresome bard is lured off the roads of New Xenaland, accepts gifts of new clothes and becomes a hutwife.

PERDICA - any miscellaneous item referring to Perdicas/ Perdicus in all his forms.

PERDICOLOGY - the scientific study of all Perdica, rarely applied.

PERDICANON- all authentic pertinent perdica; also, PERDIC-ANON, any author of PERDICESE.

PERDIEM - method of payment for perdicologists in PERDICASH or PERDICOIN.

PERDISCOTT - suggested on-line name for actor Scott Garrison who played Perdicus.

[03] What good is a language if it's not put to use? In a few simple succinct sentences, Perdicese captures the essence of the drama, the nuance, the subtext, supratext, intertext and post-text of RETURN OF CALLISTO (#29).


A Synopsis In Perdicese complete and unabridged

by Perdic-anon

Late one night, after a surprise perdicrash, Gabrielle and Xena listened to the story of perdicruise. The tale ended with a perdicrouch. An unexpected perdicament was quickly resolved by perdicant. The night faded away in perdicuts.

In the morning, Xena and Gabrielle reminisced about perdicrush and perdikith as they walked. The day, almost over before it began, slipped by with perdicuts.

Perdicatably, Xena and Gabrielle were embroiled in a battle. Amid the perdiclues, Gabrielle witnessed a perdicrux. Her impulsive and somber perdican stunned her companion into silence and launched perdicuts.

Soon, the perdickeys and perdikilts were set aside and, after the perdiclause was written, vows and a perdiclasp were exchanged and perdicourse took place.

At dawn, a perdikiss signaled perdicusp, followed by a perdicleave, a perdicast and a perdicursed denouement.

Citing callistoast as evidence, a perdicase was put in motion. Within hours, a Gabriyell echoed through the forest - "I want the pelt of the callistoat on my staff! I want her to perdish! Perd'accuse, PERD'ACCUSE!!"

Reluctantly and sadly, Xena agreed to pursue the perdicassassin. "Get her!" said the perdikin. "Okeyperdokey," said the warrior. And it was a perd accompli.


A fiery end for yet another redshirt in a trail of redshirts

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