_____________ ____________ ____________ * / R \ */ \ */ \ * | E ______ | *\____ ____/ *| ________/ * | S |******| | ****| |*** *| F |******** * | I | *| | *| | *| U |____ * | S ~~~~~~~ / *| I | *| T \ * | T ____ \ *| S | *| I ____/ * | A |*** \ \ *| | *| L |*** * | N | * \ \ ___*| |____ *| E | * | C | * \ \/ \ *| | * \__E_/ * \___/______________/ *\____/ ***** **** ************** ***** P.O. Box 7822 Oxnard, CA 93031 THE OFFICIAL ORGAN OF THE GALACTIC BORG CONSCIOUSNESS ISSUE NUMBER 12 September 1993 RESISTANCE IS FUTILE ("RIF") is published and edited by Oxnardus and Ripley for distribution on various national electronic services and local electronic BBS echos. Address listings, copyright notices, editorial notices, and information on back issues are printed at the end of this newsletter. All correspondence should be sent by e-mail to Oxnardus or Ripley (addresses given at end of newsletter) or mailed to "Resistance is Futile", P.O. Box 7822, Oxnard, CA 93031. ========= CONTENTS ========= You Will Be Assimilated: "The Proper Method to Watch Borg Episodes" Various Opening Lines Heard in Borg Bars Advertisement: Borg Blues Club From One Side Star Trek: The Next (de)Generation: Where No Sane Man Would Go, Part 2 of 6 Wubba Woom: The Further Adventures of Dr. Anna Freud, Space Psycho-Analyst RIF BBS Up and Running! Borg Comicography: "The Worst of Both Worlds: And Death Shall Have No Dominion" Editorial Notices Copyright Notices Solicitations for next newsletter Back issues of RIF available Addresses of contributors ======================= YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED ======================= A Monthly Primer for the Borg Collective by Swannox of Borg "The Proper Method to Watch Borg Episodes" ------------------------------------------ First and foremost, you should be able to identify the episodes that the Borg are featured in: Q Who? Best of Both Worlds pt. 1 Best of Both Worlds pt. 2 I, Borg Descent pt. 1 Descent pt. 2 (Upcoming in the 7th season) When watching a Borg episode, one should have the VCR set up, This is stressed. Now that you have your viewing list, you need a Checklist: 1. Chex-Mix: Preferred Snack of the Borg 2. Pizza: Preferred Food of Borg 3. Dove Bar: Preferred Junkfood of Borg 4. Jolt Cola: This Cola is outlawed in SECTOR 001, however the following will service: Coke, Pepsi, Mt. Dew, Dr. Pepper, RC Cola, etc. etc. (CRYSTAL PEPSI IS NOT A BORG COLA) 5. Combinations of the above are encouraged. If the above materials are not available for your assimilation, Swannox suggests that TACO BELL be assimilated for your needs. Swannox also suggests that if the above materials are available, assimilate Taco Bell anyway. When watching the episodes, play games with your friends. Such Borg favorites are: 1. SHOULD PICARD TAKE GUINEN'S ADVICE: (here is an example from 'Q Who?'-- Picard asks Guinen what she knows about this sector, she says "If I was you, I would turn back now" Should Picard: A: Turn Back (now) B: Explore the sector The answer is A: Turn Back (now). However, Picard took B: and look what happened. 2. TECHNOLOGY OR RAW MATERIAL? 3. IS HE LOCUTUS OR IS HE PICARD? These are just some of the fun games you can play while watching these episodes. Another Fun thing to do while watching Borg Episodes is to count how many Feds bite the dust. Example: Best of Both Worlds pt. 2 Borg: 1 Cube Feds: ENTIRE STARFLEET If you really are looking to have a good time, after the episode, Try to sit down with your friends and look for that Hidden Message in the episode that will make up better people. Example: Descent pt. 1 Message (this is three of many): Androids can get angry, but's it's OK. Families should stick together (Data/Lore) If your not a star of the show, you get killed That Concludes this month's edition of YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. Next Month: Why to much Sleep and Eating too much can kill you! ======================================== VARIOUS OPENING LINES HEARD IN BORG BARS ======================================== Be vewy vewy qwiet...I'm assimiwating humans. Heh eh heh eh. Elmer Fuddus of Borg You remember Picard, I assimilated em'. Hooooo!!! Andrew Dice Clayus of Borg Prepare to be assim...assim...assim...assim...I'm taking over. Porky Pigus of Borg Assimilate my shorts. Bart Simpsonus of Borg Eat my Assimilation man Bart Simpsonus of Borg Prepare to be assimilated. But we do have some awfully nice parting gifts for you. Wink Martindalus of Borg No, I'm sorry, the correct question is, "What is assimilation?". Alex Trebekus of Borg Ok boys and girls, after we get assimilated, we'll play with our magic nose goblins Stimpyus of Borg Well, after assimilation, we'd like to promote world peace and work with the needy children of the world. Miss Americus of Borg This is your brain. This is your brain on assimilation. Any questions? Anti-Drug Commercialus of Borg Assimilating! Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! Gomerus of Borg Ya gotta know it, those thousand points of assimilation... George Bushus of Borg Read our lips: NO MORE ASSIMILATION! George Bushus of Borg I love you, you love me, were all an assimilated family Barneyus of Borg Prepare to be asmilmated. Dan Quaylus of Borg We come to Assim' you up! Hansus and Franzus of Borg We gotta Assim it Andy, Assimilate it right in the bud Barney Fifus of Borg Rattle and Assimilate... U2us of Borg Stand in the cube where you assimilate... REMus of Borg Losing my assimilation... REMus of Borg Got a pocket full of Assimilate Spin Doctorus of Borg And if ya wanna assimilate, just go ahead now.. Spin Doctorus if Borg Now you're assimilating with POWER! Nintendous of Borg I'm a material Borg, Living in a material cube, assimilate... Borgdonna Assimilation is Cool..e ebhheeh ehehehe eehh heh Beavus of Borg Prepare to be assim....,OOOOO! Doughnuts! Homer Simpsonus of Borg It's just you and me, kid. Prepare to be assimilated. Humphrey Borgartus of Borg Adapted from the taglines of Chatworthus of Borg and Analog the ADOERRed. ============= ADVERTISEMENT ============= BLUES CLUB: THIS MONTH AT THE BORG BLUES CLUB, IT'S COLLEGE FOOTBALL MADNESS. THE SEASON IS UPON US AND TO CELEBRATE, THE BORG BLUES CLUB WILL FEATURE SPECIALS ON THE MENU. DON'T FORGET TO VISIT THE SPORTS MANIA ROOM, FEATURING MONITORS ON EVERY TEAM THAT PLAYS SPORTS, NOT TO MENTION THE ALL EVER IMPRESSIVE SIX HUNDRED FEET WIDESCREEN TV (LOCKED ON MARSHALL FOOTBALL) WITH SURROUNDULATION SOUND. THE CHAMPIONSHIP BANNERS ARE HANGING (P.Swann's Marshall University 1992 1-AA Football Champions, & Kate Von Mayr's SuperBowl Banner for Dallas) THE CHEX MIX IS READY, AND THE BLUE HEAVEN IS ON TAP. THIS WILL BE THE PLACE IN THE COLLECTIVE WHEN THE FIRST KICKOFF TAKES PLACE. THE BORG BLUES CLUB, THE COLLECTIVES PREMIERE NIGHTSPOT. --Swannox ============= FROM ONE SIDE ============= by Ti'nae Seyan This month, From One Side has a special treat. The author has taken the liberty of stepping up to Chatsworthus of Borg (GEnie: R.FELDMAN) and asking for an interview. With the green light from "Chats" glaring at my face, I proceeded with the following interview. TI'NAE: How long have you been a Borg? (i.e., when were you assimilated?) CHATWORTHUS: Assimilation occurred approximately one week after I'd gotten my first online service; that'd put it around April of '92, we believe. I'd (note use of pronoun - we were not of the collective yet) read a note from Oxnardus of Borg, and wrote to her asking if her name had anything to do with a city in California about 1/2 hour's drive from us. She wrote back a VERY funny reply. Little did I know that fateful day that we were soon to be assimilated..... (and yes, that unit does live in Oxnard CA). That's basically how we took on our Borg name - We live in Chatsworth CA! TI'NAE: Was this the first cube you were brought to? Are you in connection with any other cubes (cubes=online services)? CHATS: Our first cube was in the Fraudigy Quadrant, where we spent many happy hours watching the pretty ads develop. Remember the Volkswagen one? And the Unrolling Red Carpet one? And the others that took so d*mn long to finish? We've SEVERED completely our connecting cables to that quadrant as of 4/21, and have no regrets whatsoever. Richard Potthoff (GEnie:R.POTTHOFF1) extended the implant of guidance and friendship, and informed this unit of the land of Djinn. We'll be eternally grateful to the Potthoff unit for this!!! TI'NAE: Can you describe what it felt like to be assimilated, for you specifically? CHATS: This unit thoroughly enjoyed the process of assimilation! AS it was accomplished by the incredibly knowledgeable (and btw, funny) Oxnardus unit, we began to understand, and appreciate, all of the many advantages of the process. Do you know that she was giving out four- or five- passenger cube scooters and free salad-shooter implants? Why, the mere existence of Jiffy Cubes so conveniently located in each quadrant makes Borgdom a fantastic experience!!! We can get lubed and tuned ANYWHERE! Let us not forget the CONSTANT supply of Pizza and Cola of individual unit's choice! Ah yes...the Cola Wars...we remember them a bit fuzzily... TI'NAE: Do you ever wish to become human? CHATS: Absolutely NOT! WHY would we POSSIBLY want to lose this nifty can opener implant with attached Pizza cutter?!?!?!!? (Sheesh. What a dumb question! G) TI'NAE: Approximately how many beings have you had a part in assimilating? CHATS: This unit is not a prolific assimilator; it has only directly assimilated six units whom it is willing to ADMIT to! This unit prefers interaction with units already of Borg, and desires to let the "glibber" units go from cube to cu.... er.... door to door to obtain "New Pennzoil tm" as it were.... This unit's specialty is making new units, ESPECIALLY female new units, feel welcome! TI'NAE: How many languages can you speak? How many fluently? Which ones? CHATS: The Chatsworthus unit speaks English. It is also capable of conversing somewhat in Espanol, and has just about totally given up on La Francais. (Try answering this one in straight text mode...sigh. No Tildes in proper position, and no Cedille in Fran_C_ais....bleah.) However, this unit IS thoroughly familiar with the lovemaking customs of over six million world, and offers free tutoring to those females who are of the "legal age" for whatever quadrant we happen to be in. I hope everyone enjoyed the interview, especially those who are not Borg but have a green card and/or resident alien status. Being Bajoran, I know it gave me some fascinating insight into Borg life! The author regrets "From One Side" not appearing in the most recent RIF newsletter. While I was on vacation, the publication date was changed, and I did not know until I got back. Stay tuned until next time! ================================== STAR TREK: THE NEXT (de)GENERATION WHERE NO SANE MAN WOULD GO ================================== Original source and author unknown. Contributed by Dragon and reprinted from ZenTrek (AnarchyNet Sub moderated by Oxnardus of Borg PART TWO OF SIX PARTS: Captain's Log, Supplemental: I've given up on stardates. It's probably meaningless, anyway. My ship is in total chaos. Utterly impossible things are happening all over the ship, seemingly defying all the known laws of physics, or even common sense, the holodeck notwithstanding. It's like a nightmare. Picard: Riker, you're smirking again. Riker: Sorry, sir, but this is all so amusing. Picard: I find nothing amusing about it. You can't run a starship with chaos running rampant. I didn't get where I am today by letting chaos run rampant. Leonard Rossiter: Of course not, C.J. Riker: Where did he come from? Data: I believe it is a reference to a old British entertainment series. Picard: Good God! Everyone's being infected. Even me! Ceiling: Sir, this is Chief Engineer Smedley X. Dinklephwat. The toilets have just backed up into the warp drive. It'll take time to clear. Picard: WHAT!!????? Ceiling: In the meantime, we have...... *No Power!* Picard: [Rhetorically] This is unbelievable. Ceiling: And the fire sprinklers are still running. We're working on it. [ Pshhhhhh. The turbolift doors open to reveal a rotund penguin and a rather dilapidated tabby cat. ] Penguin: [Approaching Picard] How do you do. I'm Mr. P. Opus. George Bush is a wimp. I'd like you to meet my running mate, Bill the Cat. Bill: Ack! Phft!! [ Pshhhhhh. Wesley enters from the other turbolift. ] Wesley: Sorry, sir. They got loose from the holodeck. It's going absolutely berserk. Tasha even walked out and handed me an old pulp-paper publication entitled 'Playboy'. Data: Is she still there? Wesley: Dunno. Why don't you go look? [ Data gets up to leave. ] Picard: AS YOU WERE, MR. DATA! Data: But sir.... [ Pshhhhhhh. The Robot enters. ] Robot: [Flailing arms] DANGER! DANGER! WARNING! DANGER! WARNING WILL ROBINSON! DANGER! Picard: Why are you yelling that? Robot: I don't know. It seems appropriate somehow. [ PFFT! The main viewer changes to reveal a remotely human and quite boorish man. ] Viewer1: TV... or MTV? [PFFT! Same thing, only female this time.] Viewer2: TV... or MTV? Picard: [In a perfect Graham Chapman twang] WHAT IS GOING ON!!????? Data: We appear to be intercepting some old Earth transmissions, sir. [ Pshhhhh. Will Robinson enters. ] Robot: DANGER WILL ROBINSON. Will: What is it, Robot? Robot: Unknown intelligence nearby. Danger! [ Pshhhhhh. Dr. Smith enters. Picard is fuming. ] Smith: There you are, you bubble-headed booby! I have chores for you. Robot: DANGER! DANGER! [ Dr. Smith unplugs the Robot's power pack. ] Smith: That'll teach you to talk back, you tin-plated bathtub! Picard: [Smoke pouring out of his ears] EVERYONE GET OFF MY BRIDGE!!!! Riker: Aye, sir. Picard: NOT **YOU!!** Ceiling: Captain, this is Chief Engineer Ernie R. Ferretface. We're up to our waists here with water from the fire sprinklers. Some of the waterproof components are starting to rust. Smith: [At ceiling] You incompetent ninny! Where did you study engineering? Ceiling: I sent in a bunch of Cheerios boxtops and...... Picard: OUT!!! OUT!!! OUTOUTOUTOUTOUTOUTOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Riker: Yes sir. Picard: NOT ****YOU!!!!**** [ The bridge is cleared of all non-starfleet personnel. Picard sits down, ready to spit venom. ] Troi: I sense great frustration, sir. Picard: No sh*t, Sherlock. Troi: You mustn't blame yourself, sir. You are not at fault. Some greater force is at work. Picard: Shut up, Wesley. Troi: Huh? Picard: [At ceiling] Bridge to Medical Bay. Doctor..... Ceiling: This is the Medical Bay. All our lines are busy. Please hold. Your call will be answered in the order it was received. [Muzak] [ Riker smirks. ] Picard: Computer!!! Computer: Hi there! Whatever your problem, I'm here to help you solve it. All I want to do is to make your day more and more bearable. [ Picard is stunned rigid. He ambles in a daze over to his ready room. ] Door: [Pshhhhhh] Thank you for making a simple door very happy. CUT TO PICARD'S READY ROOM/OFFICE (you know, the room with the tropical fish in it). PICARD IS SEATED AT HIS DESK, UTTERLY DUMBFOUNDED. RIKER ENTERS. Door: [Pshhhhh] Glad to be of service. Riker: Shut up. [To Picard] Sir, are you all right? Picard: I've lost control. Riker: Sir, I don't know what's going on. Picard: So what else is new? Riker: There's no need to be abusive, sir. Picard: It makes me feel better, Number One. Riker: Sir, there has to be some external force at work. All this chaos couldn't happen naturally. I mean, everyone's acting so stupid... [ You can almost see the light go on above Picard's head. ] Picard: STUPID! That's IT!! Counselor Troi mentioned something about stupidity just before all hell broke loose. Where is she? Riker: Last I saw, sir, she left for Yar's quarters to pick out a new costume for herself. Picard: Let's go. [They get up.] Door: [Pshhhhh] Thank you so very much. Picard: Stick it up your nose. [To Data] Data, come with me. Tsu, you have the con. Tsu: Oh, thank you thank you thank you! [ They enter the turbolift. ] Picard: Lieutenant Yar's quarters. Turbolift:I'm fine; how are you? Picard: I said, Lieutenant Yar's quarters. Turbolift:I'm fine; how are you? Picard: Now what!? Data: Sir, I believe I can resolve the situation. Riker: Go for it. Data: Elevator, this is Lieutenant Commander Data. If you don't take us to Yar's quarters pretty d*mn pronto, I shall go straight to your major databank with a very large axe and give you a reprogramming you will never forget. Understand? [ Silence. ] Data: Okay. Get the axe. [ The elevator starts on its journey to Yar's quarters. Picard and Riker eye Data quizzically. ] Data: A literary reference, sir. Given the current situation, it seemed appropriate. [ The door opens, and they exit. ] CUT TO YAR'S STATEROOM. PICARD, RIKER, AND DATA ENTER. Picard: Counselor Troi! Where are you? [ Troi emerges from the bedroom wearing the same getup that Yar wore for Data. ] Troi: Hello, Umzadi. Riker: Troi! Uh.... Troi: I sense great desire... Picard: Good God! Troi's been affected, too. Data: Rather well, it would seem. Riker: Sir, if you don't mind..... Picard: Oh, go ahead. You're no use to me, anyway. Go do something productive for a change. Riker: Aye, sir. [ Riker smirks, and then retires to the bedroom with Troi. Picard and Data enter the hallway. ] Picard: Now what do we do? Data: If I may recommend, sir. Since all the trouble began with the arrival of the Robinson family, it would seem prudent to question them. Picard: Excellent suggestion, Mr. Data. Let's get some answers. [ Fade to black. Large boxes of anti-acne medicine fall on people, followed by a surrealistic Pepsi commercial. K-Tel offers you every Top 10 hit ever made. Trained professionals demonstrate a Popiell Pocket Fisherman, since no normal human could use them; and a banana slug tries to sell you a used car. ] TO BE CONTINUED NEXT MONTH!!!!! ========== WUBBA WOOM ========== The Further Adventures of Dr. Anna Freud, Space Psycho-Analyst Dr. Freud put up her "OPEN" sign in anticipation of all her new clients after Prodigy's AND GEnie's new rate changes...lot's of aggression, frustration and confusion out there. That meant more clients and with a broader client base, Dr. Freud could start that late night subspace talk show she had always wanted.... ---Oxnardus Dr. Freud Can you help me? We woke up one day with all these tubes on us and all alone. We don't know where the others are and how this nifty salad shooter attachment on my hand came from. Swanardus or is it Tabornox? --Swannox "Cwazy.....cwazy for feewing so wonewee........" a vibrating voice sang from the crowd, "cwazy.....cwazy for feewing so bwue." a small, bald-headed man stepped forward and looked at Dr. Freud with beady eyes. Then he laughed...."hehehehe.........." Elmer Fudd --Tricius Swanardus or whatever, Yes, I can help. Will you be paying by cash, check, or Locutus Card? Dr. Anna Freud A Professional --Oxnardus "Elmer!" cried Anna. "Elmer! It's been so long. Please come into my private waiting area. I have a new rabbit therapy I want to try out on just you!!!!" Anna could hardly contain herself from squealing. ---Oxnardus "Scwewy wabbit!" Elmer said, then scampered after the doctor, holding his trusty cork gun. Elmer, has a thang for animals ---Tricius "No, no, Elmer!" screamed Anna diving for cover, "I'm not the rabbit!!!" ---Oxnardus Locutus card of course. We also have these urges to assimilate the whole universe and make them all like myself. Is that OK? Swannnardus --Swannox A little bald man runs by suddenly and shoots the borg thang with his cork gun. "I'LL GET YOU, YOU WASKALLY WABBIT!" Elmer says. Swannardus can see Glinda the good witch peaking around the corner, holding a decoy energizer bunny. She lets it go and shouts, "RUN, TIN MAN, RUN! BEFORE THE LITTLE PEOPLE REVOLT!" ---Tricius Dr. Freud got out her Locutus Card machine and grabbed Swanny's card. After giving Swannox the carbons, she sat him down on the couch, turned on her meter and said, "Of course it's alright to want to make everyone like you. You're a borg for goodness sake!" ---Oxnardus DUCK SEASON!! Just a Visiting Borg --Swannox BORG SEASON!!!! Daffy Duck & you're DITHSPICABLE!! --Tricius DUCK SEASON! YOU WILL SERVICE, ER WILL BE SERVED AS DINNER FOR BORG Visiting Borg ---Swannox BORG SEASON!!! Daffy. Your momma was a toaster and your father smelled of elderberries! --Tricius "BORG SEASON!" Daffy yells again, his bill looking as if it may fall off at any time. Elmer comes skidding around the corner and fires his cork gun........it bounces off the borg with a deafening...."PING". Elmer Fudd didn't know there was a frequency setting for cork guns. Darn contraptioned feller must of had his shields up. ---Tricius ROTFL!!!!!!!!! --Swannox (can't come back with a reply for you) Elmer Fudd stood there in silence staring at this oddly contraptioned feller and thought, "Hmmm....doesn't say much, does he? Maybe the poor thing's trying to communicate and all he knew was 'Duck Season'." Elmer pulled up his loose pants, hefted his dangerous weapon over one shoulder, and asked, "Say, do you know Marvin The Martian?" He squinted up at the borg and looked for signs of intelligence. ---Tricius The Borg looked at the funny looking man, wondering, does he have raw materials and technology. Realizing that he doesn't, we answer "No, however we do know Duck Dodgers." The Borg then looked at the funny little man again and says "Hey, YOU'RE LOCUTUS OF BORG AREN'T YOU!" The Borg sees that the funny little man, having Picard's Bald head, small body and big ears looks baffled. "Come with me, you soon will be with the others again! ---Swannox A sort of skittering little sound comes from around the corner as a little man dressed in black with a broom on his head appears and points a strange looking weapon at the borg. "Unhand that Fudd, you puny borgling!" says Marvin. "Then stand still while I shoot you with my dissentigrator ray." --Tricius A big white cold creature runs up to Marvin. "At last," he says, grabbing the broom-headed guy and cradling him in his arms, "my very own martian. I've never had my very own martian before." He squeezes him tightly, "I will hug him and squeeze him and call him George." --Radioactivus ========================= RIF BBS UP AND RUNNING!!! ========================= Resistance is Futile now has it's own BBS. It is not public yet, but anyone who would like access can contact Oxnardus for registration. RIF BBS is the new home for "Resistance is Futile". It has QWK Mail and the following boards: General Discussion Areas, Borg Club, Order of Canopus (RPG), Star Trek Anonymous, ANSI Artwork, Shareware Discussion, Writers Discussion, Star Trek Reviews, Star Trek Promos, Star Trek Spoilers, Star Trek Rumors, and a private e-mail area. At press time, the BBS had 17 active users. It also runs VGA Planets games (a ST universe game played off-line, but with turns processed by the BBS computer). In the works is an on- line ST Trivia game as well. Destined to go public within a year and to be THE depository for Star Trek related PC computer files for northern Southern California, RIF BBS started on July 27, 1993. Since then it has been averaging 4 calls per day!! All RIFs are available from the download areas, so if you ever get off a service and want your RIF, just phone up RIF BBS for your latest RIF. Currently, the board is in construction, but hopefully within three months there will be over 25 Megs of Star Trek related files and games available for downloading, not to mention On-Line Star Trek and Trivia games. ================= BORG COMICOGRAPHY ================= by Swannox of Borg "The Worst of Both Worlds: "And Death Shall Have No Dominion"" Part four of four parts STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION, No. 50 (September 1993). Double-sized special issue. DC Comics. Writer: Michael Jan Freidman. Penciller: Peter Krause. Inker: Pablo Marcos. Letterer: Bob Pinaha. Colorist: Julianna Ferriter. Editor: Alan Gold. CHARACTERS (identified in text): Picard, Data, Riker, Troi, Bev Crusher, Worf, Geordi. Alternative Universe: Riker, Worf, Geordi, Shelby, O'Brien, Wesley Crusher, Locutus. SYNOPSIS: The most striking feature of this issue is the beautiful cover art. Instead of using the gimmick cover route, DC decided to feature a very beautiful painting for the cover. The quality of this cover would be worthy of hanging up on your wall, and it is very reminiscent of some of the better covers on the Pocket Book series of novels. Never before has a Borg Vessel been drawn to give the emotion of such cold unrelentlessness. The story continues from part three of the Best of Both Worlds storyline. It is titled "And Death Shall Have No Dominion" and is the fourth and final part of the borg series. It begins where we left off in part three. As a brief refresher, a landing party made it's way through Starfleet HQ, which had become a Borg Conversion Facility. Right before the beam out, a Borg struck one of the two Worfs. Starting in part four, Riker and Picard are in the middle of the fire fight and about to be over run when Geordi 2 (the 2 will replace the AU designation for alternative universe) finally gets the Enterprise 2's transporters working again. The crew discovers that Worf 2 was the fallen comrade (like we couldn't guess!--ed.). While Riker 2 is grieving, Worf insists that Worf 2 finally redeemed himself through his death and that he received his death like a Klingon. Worf then performs the Klingon Death Ceremony. The Enterprise Crew then begin to work on Locutus 2 aboard the Enterprise 2. After briefly explaining what they will do to Locutus 2, Riker 2 pulls Riker to the side, and requests that he come with him to the battle bridge, because Riker 2 wants someone who has an understanding of his mind, and battle experience, and he feels that Riker is perfect, since he is after all, almost the same person. In a similar scene to the one featured in the ST:TNG TV episode "Best of Both Worlds pt 2" the crew (O'Brien, Ro, Data, Picard, Geordi, Geordi 2, Beverly and a few no names) begin to access the Borg Collective through the Data hookup. The most disappointing part of this storyline was the fact that each character has to re-explain what they were doing, except for Picard, who gives insight into what Locutus 2 must be feeling. Shelby 2 provided a nice interruption in the story as she followed the Borg Cube and fired upon it trying to lure it away from the Enterprise 2 and Locutus 2. Chief O'Brien is the only character that seems to not be just a clone retracing his steps from the TV episode in this scene. He warns Data about the Arm of Locutus 2. It's soon discovered that the Borg Mind Net in this alternative universe is different, the Sleep Command is Protected (reviewers note: they must have got that memo Oxnardus sent out) and Picard is hitting himself in the head. While trying to figure out what to do and dodging the Borg assaults to the ship, Locutus reminds the crew "You continue to resist...But Resistance is Futile." Around this time, Shelby takes a powder from the battle and heads for Earth, leaving Riker 2 and the Enterprise 2 helpless. Wesley 2 starts to have second thoughts and believing that his mother is still alive, and Beverly believes that they can win, he heads the ship back toward the battle. Shelby decides to take a phaser to Mr Crusher 2 and O'Brien 2 decides to introduce Shelby 2 to a phaser of his own (get that?). Feeling it's better to avoid something they regret, O'Brien 2 and Wesley 2 start there way back to the battle. The 2 Rikers in an attempt to buy time, launch shuttles at the Borg and then destroy them when the shuttles hit the subspace field with phaser fire, which works for a moment, then the Enterprise 2 is caught in a tractor beam and the cutting ray begins it's work. The next few panels show crew members being dragged into the vacuum of space. The Enterprise then rejoins the battle, catching the Borg by surprise and inflicting damage. By this time, Picard finally discovers how to trigger Locutus 2's emotions and the word Eat comes from Locutus 2, after that a complete powerdown is recorded and the Borg have froze to death from the cold of space due to lack of power to protect themselves or even to self destruct. Picard explains that he reached his Vulcan part and mentioned the name Spock to awaken the emotions that Sarek held for his Son. Worf sets to rest Worf 2, Picard and Picard 2 talk, and it is revealed that Picard 2 as Locutus 2 opened up the gate in hope to find a universe in which the Borg were defeated and in a race for time, The Enterprise heads for the portal. Riker 2 and Troi visit for a moment while in the Riker family tradition, Riker 2 tries to seduce Imzadi. Chief O'Brien 2 tries to sneak aboard the Enterprise while leaving O'Brien stranded. However O'Brien 2 comes to his senses. Shelby is put in the brig, and all of this takes place in the span of 30 minutes while the Enterprise races to make the portal, and they do, then they reflect on what might have happened if the portal never was and if they would have been as strong. Thus End of "Worst of Both Worlds" and the 50th issue celebration of ST:TNG. ================= EDITORIAL NOTICES ================= The Borg Club is located EVERYWHERE. If you wish to be assimilated just ask a local Borg to do so. We are sure they would be more than happy to assimilate you quickly and painlessly, not to mention take your culture and technology from you as well. ============================== COPYRIGHT NOTICES ============================== "RIF" acknowledges that Paramount Pictures and its various subsidiaries as having the sole rights to the Star Trek trademark. "RIF" has no intention to infringe upon that copyright or earn profit from this publication. It is distributed free of charge. This newsletter may be distributed by anyone if kept intact and not altered in any way. Consider it shareware publishing! Resistance is Futile, copyright (c) 1993 by RIF BBS. ============================ BACK ISSUES OF RIF AVAILABLE ============================ Missing an issue? Used your RIF for a place mat or coaster one time too many? Just send a self-addressed stamped ($.52) business sized envelope to RIF BBS, P.O. Box 7822, Oxnard, CA 93031 and that abused issue will be replaced. Please indicate which issue you desire. All back issues are available! ========================= ADDRESSES OF CONTRIBUTORS ========================= EDITORS: ------- Oxnardus: GEnie:K.Taborn; Prodigy:HCMH17A; InterNet: k.taborn@genie.geis.com; FidoNet: Oxnardus @ 1:206/2513; VirtualNet: 197 @ 1805020; WWIVNet: Oxnardus 115 @ 8500; AnarchyNet: Oxnardus @ 42:1005/1201; BorgNet: Oxnardus; RIF BBS & RipCity BBS: Oxnardus; RIME:Kym Taborn; US Mail: RIF BBS, P.O. Box 7822, Oxnard, CA 93031 Radioactivus: Genie:M.Samuels1; Prodigy:NRCR88A; NVN:Msamuels; InterNet: m.samuels1@genie.geis.com; BorgNet: Ripley; RIF BBS & RipCity BBS: Ripley; US Mail: RIF BBS, P.O. Box 7822, Oxnard, CA 93031 CONTRIBUTORS: ------------ Analog Genie:A.DOERR2 Chatworthus GEnie: R.Feldman Dragon: [SysOp: The Dragon's Realm - (805) 524-DRGN (3746)]; AnarchyNet: Dragon @ 42:1005/1203; RIF BBS: Dragon; RipCity: The Dragon Swannox: PRODIGY:HCMH17F; Internet:swann1@muvns6.wvnet.edu; BorgNet: Swannox Ti'nae Seyan: GEnie:STAR Tricius: PRODIGY: HCMH17D