_____________ ____________ ____________ * / R \ */ \ */ \ * | E ______ | *\____ ____/ *| ________/ * | S |******| | ****| |*** *| F |******** * | I | *| | *| | *| U |____ * | S ~~~~~~~ / *| I | *| T \ * | T ____ \ *| S | *| I ____/ * | A |*** \ \ *| | *| L |*** * | N | * \ \ ___*| |____ *| E | * | C | * \ \/ \ *| | * \__E_/ * \___/______________/ *\____/ ***** **** ************** ***** P.O. Box 7822 Oxnard, CA 93031 THE OFFICIAL ORGAN OF THE INTERGALACTIC BORG CONSCIOUSNESS ISSUE NUMBER 16 January 1994 RESISTANCE IS FUTILE ("RIF") is published and edited by Oxnardus, Ripley, and Swannox for distribution on international, national and local electronic services, bulletin board conferences, and databases. Address listings, copyright notices, editorial notices, and information on back issues are printed at the end of this newsletter. All correspondence should be sent by e-mail to Oxnardus, Ripley, or Swannox (addresses given at end of newsletter) or mailed to "Resistance is Futile", P.O. Box 7822, Oxnard, CA 93031. ========= CONTENTS ========= YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED: From the Mail Box BEST OF BOTH CURLS, Part 1 of 2 THE THINKING BORG'S GUIDE TO MOVING HOUSE ADVERTISEMENT: LITTLE MISS BORG STAR TREK: THE NEXT (de)GENERATION WHERE NO SANE MAN WOULD GO Part 6 of 6 COMICOGRAPHY: STAR TREK DEEP SPACE NINE #4 SUBSCRIPTION SERVICE & LISTING OF RIF DISTRIBUTION SITES Editorial Notices Copyright Notices Solicitations for next newsletter Back issues of RIF available Addresses of contributors ======================= YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED ======================= A Monthly Primer for the Borg Collective by Swannox of Borg Swannox was on vacation this month, so this month's column will be devoted to a letter received from Luxor of Borg regarding the first installment of this series many months ago. Luxor wrote: In article <1993Aug24.000138.1692@muvms6.wvnet.edu> you write: [Introduction not available during assimilation.] Have seen: > Q Who? > Best of Both Worlds pt. 1 > Best of Both Worlds pt. 2 Look forward to: > I, Borg > Descent pt. 1 > Descent pt. 2 (Upcoming in the 7th season) > When watching a Borg episode, one should have the VCR set up VCR = Victorious Cyborg Regenerator. Borghilde rides again! > Now that you have your viewing list, you need a Checklist: > 1. Chex-Mix: Preferred Snack of the Borg Does not exist in this sector. Will replicate given genetic code. > 2. Pizza: Preferred Food of Borg A conglomerate - natch. > 3. Dove Bar: Preferred Junkfood of Borg Reject, as not PC (Powerfully Conscriptive). Superior is: Hawk Bar. > 4. Jolt Cola: This Col [garbled transmission] in > 001, however the following will > service: Coke, Pepsi, Mt. Dew, Dr. > Pepper, RC Cola, etc. etc. > (CRYSTAL PEPSI IS NOT A BORG COLA) Hugh would much prefer uncarbonated Fanta. An orange Borg for variety. The bubbles are too coy; they hinder digestion. > assimilation, Swannox suggests that TACO BELL be assimilated Assimilation of Bellcore would be more productive. > 1. SHOULD PICARD TAKE GUINEN'S ADVICE: > (here is an example from 'Q Who?'-- Picard asks > Guinen what she knows about this sector, she says > "If I was you, I would turn back now" If Guinan were Picard, Whoopi would have a lot of explaining to do. > Should Picard: > A: Turn Back (now) > B: Explore the sector > The answer is A: Turn Back (now). However, Picard > took B: and look what happened. Yes, bad news for Borg. Therefore we concur. > 2. TECHNOLOGY OR RAW MATERIAL? Difference is irrelevant. > 3. IS HE LOCUTUS OR IS HE PICARD? Locutor = interpreter. He is still Locutus; he just changed sides (again, the turncoat!) > Another Fun thing to do while watching Borg Episodes is to > count how many Feds bite the dust. Example: > Best of Both Worlds pt. 2 > Borg: 1 Cube > Feds: ENTIRE STARFLEET Unfortunately, 1 Borg Cube is a significantly larger investment. Profit and loss balance sheet suggests avoidance of Sector 001 in future, unless required as a loss-leader. > Hidden Message in the episode that will make up better people. > Example: > Descent pt. 1 > Message (this is three of many): > Androids can get angry, but it's OK. Depends on where you're standing at the time. > Families should stick together (Data/Lore) Jean-Locutus and his brother affirm that a brawl is good for you. > If you're not a star of the show, you get killed Therefore Borg will never die. Moreover, like Q, O'Brien and Keiko, they appear in two series at once. > Next Month: Why too much Sleep and Eating too much can kill you! Understood, but not assimilated, due to conflict in prime motivation. ========================== BEST OF BOTH CURLS, Part 1 ========================== Hareware Productions proudly presents "The Best of Both Curls, Part 1" A parody of the greatest ST:TNG yet, "The Best of Both Worlds, Part 1" Filmed before a live studio audience SHAMELESS PLUG: Call Da Warren BBS & Grill at (805) 854-2478 for lots more like it! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Picard: (voiceover) Captain's log, stardate forty-three ninety-eight nine HIKE! We are en route to Jouret IV to investigate the loss of New Providence colony. Riker: (running hands through his hair) Are you SURE I'm not thinning out on top? Troi: Stop worrying about your hair! There are better things to worry about! Riker: Oh yeah? Like what? Troi: Like what Leonard's gonna throw at us for the season finale! Riker: My hair's more important than that! Troi: Not much. Riker: Maybe I should join the Hair Club for Men. Troi: Will, if you don't stop worrying about your hair, you're gonna turn out like Kirk! All: Troi: Yes! Why do you think he couldn't act worth beans? Every time he said something, he knew the camera was on him, and he started to worry about whether his toupee was on straight! Riker: I don't have a toupee! Troi: Well, don't get one! Be like Picard and act like you're bald on purpose! Riker: I'm not bald either! Troi: Then go shave your head! Then you will be bald on purpose! Data: We are approaching Jouret IV. Riker: On screen. Picard: (poking his head out of his ready room) Hey! I heard that! I'm the only one that can say that! On screen. Riker: Hmph. Riker: AAAAAAAH! Picard: What was that all about? Troi: He's afraid he'll go bald. Picard: Ridiculous. I'm the bald one here. Data: Captain, I am detecting extensive carbon scoring on the other side of the planet. Troi: I sense great blankness from the planet. Picard: On screen. Data: How? We're on the other side of the planet! Picard: Do it anyway! <> Picard: So, the Borg have arrived. Bob the Game Show Host: (opening his mouth as wide as possible at every opportunity) YEEEEEES! It's time for that pooooooopular game show, NAME THAT BOOOOOOORG! All: AAAAAAH! Bob the Game Show Host: And our first contestant is... Bob the Game Show Host: Here! What's your name? Borg: Eighth of Forty-two. Bob the Game Show Host: Welcome to the show, Eighth! You have control of the borg... er, board. Eighth of Forty-two: Bob, I can name that Borg in TWO implants! Picard: (ahem) So, the Borg have arrived. Riker: Yup. Troi: See, I told you this was more important than your hair. Riker: What should we do? Geordi: We could go to 7-11 and buy Slurpees. Picard: All right, let's do that. Riker: Why didn't I think of that? Data: Probably because you were worried about your toupee. Riker: I don't have a toupee! Worf: That's your real hair? Riker: Yes! Worf: No wonder you're worried. Riker: I'm not worried! Picard (by the door): Hey Riker, are you going with us or not? Q: Darn! Just missed them! <7-11. A lot of crew members are there, drinking Slurpees and playing video games.> Picard: Good work, Mr. La Forge. Geordi: Anytime, sir. Worf: They're out of the blood flavor! Adm. Hanson: I've been looking all over for you! Get back in the parody! The Borg are attacking! 7-11 Clerk: Hey, who's gonna pay? Hey! Come back! AAARGH! Picard: Fire phasers! Worf: Nothing happened! Picard: Agh! Guinan: Cut it out! Shelby: Quick, into that nebula! Picard: Hey, who are you? Shelby: I'm the guest star! Into the nebula! Shelby: No, the other nebula! Data: Oh, THAT nebula. Shelby: Whew! That was close! Geordi: (over communicator) Sir, I spilled my Slurpee. Picard: We must all make sacrifices, Mr. La Forge. We're at war here. <> Data: Sir, the Borg ship has detected us and is moving into the nebula as well. Picard: Take us out of the nebula, Ensign Rubbervomit, warp 9. Ensign Rubbervomit: No! I'm not taking it anymore! Picard: What? Ensign Rubbervomit: Us ensigns always get stupid names! Data: Well, at least you can have emotions! Troi: Well, at least you don't have to walk around half-topless! Riker: Well, at least you have hair! Picard: Yeah, at least you have hair! Worf: Well, at least you don't have to wear a big heavy metal thingy that serves no purpose! Geordi: (over intercom) Well, at least you can see! Everybody Else on the Ship: Well, at least you get camera time! Ensign Rubbervomit: I still wanna change my name! I want something like...Smith! Oh, to be a Smith, flying high above the trees, fluttering my golden wings as I reach heights never lark, or even eagle knew! To be a Smith-- All: AIEE! Worf: The Borg ship is following! Picard: Quick! Plot a course away, Ensign Smith! Maximum warp! Ensign Rubbervomit: Hey, why are you looking at me? Picard: I thought you changed your name to Smith! Ensign Rubbervomit: I haven't done it YET! Picard: (waves at Riker) No! It's him you want! Him! Riker: Leave me out of this! (runs into the turbolift and hides) Everyone Else on the Bridge: Yeah, me too! (ditto) Picard: AAAAAAAARGH! <> Picard: Excuse me! Picard: Uh-oh. Worf: Three of them? Riker: Yup! Right in the middle of Ten-Forward, too! Troi: Grrrr... Ensign Smith: Hey, what about the Borg ship? Riker: What Borg ship? Worf: They are... hailing us!?!?! Q: I am, er... Q-us. Q-us of Borg. You will be humiliated. Riker: You are the one in command of the Borg vessel? Q: The qube? Riker made a funny! Riker made a funny! No wait, that was me. Oh well. Bye! Riker: (angrily) Q! Q: Bleah! Worf: They are hailing us again. Riker: On screen. Picard: Right! I heard that! Riker: Sorry. Picard: Sorry is irrelevant. Only Yahtzee matters. Riker: Huh? Picard: Wait, lemme check my script. You will be assimilated. Worf: Come on, you didn't need the script for THAT. Riker: And who are you? Picard: Baldus. Baldus of Borg. Resistance is futile. All: To be continued next month... ========================================= THE THINKING BORG'S GUIDE TO MOVING HOUSE ========================================= By Wazzuus, the Practical guide to Borg Life and Lifestyles There will come a time in every Borg's life when it is apparent that the time is here to move to a new cube. We may have assimilated too many new cube mates, or ordered too many specialty implants from the BORGIMPLEMENTS catalogue; it may have been too long since we've cleaned the oven. It may even have reached the point when there are no visible horizontal surfaces, and spilled colas-of-your-choice have glued large portions of the accumulated miscellany into a sturdy domestic conglomerate. Whatever the reason- from nasty vacuum leaks to a deep seated desire for a place off limits to Legos and Barney- one morning the need to change cube becomes an exigent reality instead of a casual thought. Of course, if the need is caused by a new assimilation project across the galaxy, one simply moves. There are complications- change of address cards come to mind- but they are nothing compared to the rococo and serpentine course one takes merely to get more room, or nicer wallpaper. The first complication is : Build, Buy, or Remodel? All of these have the defects of their advantages, and the advantages of their defects. Remodeling is especially complicated for the Borg residential unit. Geometry itself is responsible for this- adding rooms to a cube while keeping it a cube results in an increase in living space out of proportion with the needs and budgets of all but the most successful Borg. Then there is the major drawback for many average Borgs: if we remodel we do not escape the little marks which day-to-day life puts on our dwelling units- the marks where the outlet for the Cola supply got cross-threaded and sprayed the longitudinal corridor from section G through section R, the reminders of the beginners salad shooter implant class, the weakened exterior wall where interdimensional beings have been sapping the atomic weak force. We do not, in a word, move into a new clean shiny and unsullied cube but rather stay where we are and have to clean and repair: bummer. Buying a new cube, already built and ready to move into, is an apparently simple solution, but finding the right cube, in the right location, and without interior divisions apparently designed for Borgs from the counter universe, is difficult at best. Many of the difficulties result from the arcane rite known as financing, which is shared with Building the perfect cube. Financing is not necessary, provided one has assimilated credits along with organic units (or even better, instead of Biological units), or gone back in time and invested a small sum in a guaranteed investment on a planet where the economic history has been good (this is not foolproof, for as we know any small act of a time traveller may imbalance the time-space continuum). Otherwise, we must enter the sanctum sanctorum of the loan officer and have the innards of our credit records read and the future of our financial liabilities projected in the bloody process called loan approval. Having a new cube built to order is slightly more likely to result in a cube which is adapted to the unique needs of your Borg Residential Group but, alas, it opens one up to more interference from loan officers, intergalactic planning boards, previously unsuspected title entanglements, and don't EVEN get us started on the vagaries of contractors, subcontractors, and suppliers. All in all, it can be enough to make one long for a nice, deep, complicated cave system and a few good stone implants. ============= ADVERTISEMENT ============= From Dawarren BBS LITTLE MISS BORG ---------------- -- Pull the string and she destroys entire planets without a second thought! -- Twist her arm and she fires lethal bolts of electricity! -- Squeeze her and she talks! "You will be assimilated" -- Feed Little Miss Borg! Watch her absorb energy right from the socket! -- Change her diapers! Yes kids, the Little Miss Borg dolls! Tell your folks that's what you want this Christmas! 'Cause everybody loves LITTLE MISS BORG! Hey, grown-ups! Little Miss Borg is a great role model for your boy or girl! Batteries not included. Other dolls and accessories sold separately. ================================== STAR TREK: THE NEXT (de)GENERATION WHERE NO SANE MAN WOULD GO ================================== Original source and author unknown. Contributed by Dragon and reprinted from ZenTrek (AnarchyNet Sub moderated by Oxnardus of Borg. PART SIX OF SIX: [Picard scrabbles at the controls. He programs the computer to connect to the holodeck's interprocess communication port, and extract the box/tape from the holodeck and place it on the transporter platform. In moments, the box/tape appears, arcing wildly. Picard punches in random coordinates frantically, and energizes. The box/tape disappears. ] Picard: [Punching comm. panel] Ensign Tsu!! Tsu: Yo! Picard: Get us out of here!! Warp nine!! Tsu: But I want to see if she wins the bonus round... [ Picard curses, and rushes into the hallway. He runs to a bridge-access turbolift, and suddenly remembers that the only way on to the main bridge is by turbolift. Cursing again, he spins around and heads for engineering.] [ He manages to duck a salesman hawking something called MultiFinder, and phasers a few Writer's Guild workers picketing in the hallway. He rounds another corner, and collides with a heavy-set man with glasses, and a pocket protector. He is holding a thick tome of stapled pages. ] Man: Hi. We're thinking of implementing the keyword 'noalias'. What do you think? Not that what you think makes any difference.... Picard: [Picking himself up] Huh? Man: We're also going to make the string space read-only, and enforce parenthetical groupings in all cases. We feel this will go a long way to make C a respected standard, like Pascal and Ada. Picard: What about binary constants? Man: Sorry, no way. No prior art.... [ PHWATT!! Picard phasers him and the tome. He continues running. In short order, he arrives at the door to engineering, and nearly runs into it, since it fails to open. Picard waves his arms around, but nothing happens. ] Picard: COMPUTER! Computer:Hi there! Picard: Open this door! Computer:[BINGGGGGGGGGG...] Are you sure you want me to do that? Picard: YES!!!! Computer:Okay, you asked for it! [ Pshhhhhhhh! Instantly, the corridor is inundated with water. Three men ride out in a bathtub, slapping each other. ] Man 1: You idiots! [THUMP! BONK!] Man 2&3:Oooff! [ Picard forces his way in to the nearest control console. ] Picard: Engineer! Engineer:Chief Engineer Frederick Y. Airhead here, sir. Picard: Start the main engines! Engineer:But we haven't unclogged the toilets yet..... Picard: I DON'T GIVE A SH*T!!!! Engineer:No, but the toilets will if we start the engines. [Into comm. panel] How are you two making out down there? Female voice 1:Laverne! Get your head out of the matter-antimatter reactor! Female voice 2: I can't, Shirley! My hairpins are caught! Hand me the magnetic scissors... Female voice 1: You mean this? Female voice 2: No! Not that! [BLAM! static....] Picard: [Losing it] START THE ENGINES!! **NOW!!!** Engineer:[Capitulating] Aye aye, sir. [ Airhead presses the engine start button. Immediately, all the toilets on the Enterprise violently spew forth odiferous gunk. A disgusting but nonetheless impressive sight. ] Picard: Course is set! WARP NINE, NOW!!! Engineer:But sir!.... Picard: ***>>NOW, YOU FLATHEAD!!!<<*** [ Airhead shuts his eyes tight, and presses a Big Red Button. ] CUT TO EXTERIOR REAR SHOT: [RumblerumbleburbleburblebucoughubbleBuSLOSHubbbubububBubUUBUBB.. ..**SPLOWFFFF!!!!** Water spurts out of every conceivable engine orifice.] [ fwEESH!!! POOOWWWWWW!!!!! ] Picard: Computer! Rear viewer! Computer:Righto! [ The ship diagram on the wall vanishes and is replaced by a view of the rear of the ship. Stars streak off into the void at warp nine. Suddenly, the biggest, loudest, most impressive, and most expensive explosion ILM ever made goes off. The entire ship is flooded with an intense white hazy light. The ship rocks violently. People are bouncing off the walls. Sparks fly everywhere. ] CUT TO YAR'S BEDROOM. Troi:Oh, Umzadi! In-CREDIBLE! Riker: [Smirking] Uh, thanks. CUT TO EXTERNAL SHOT OF EXPLOSION EFFECTS. ILM STRUTS THEIR STUFF LIKE NEVER BEFORE. NOT A SINGLE MATTE LINE ANYWHERE! AS THE EXPLOSION SUBSIDES, THE RESULTING CLOUD FORMS ITSELF INTO THE VAGUE SHAPE OF A CLOWN'S HEAD. AND DESPITE THE TOTAL VACUUM OF SPACE, WE CAN BARELY MAKE OUT A VOICE, WHICH SEEMS TO UTTER, "I have complete faith in Ed Meese." SOON, ALL IS DARK AND SILENT. CUT BACK TO ENGINEERING. PICARD IS LEANING AGAINST THE CONTROL PANEL. HE AWAKENS, AND LOOKS ABOUT. Picard:[Shouting at ceiling] Bridge! Ensign Tsu! Ceiling:Aye, sir. Picard: Damage report. Ceiling:[Pause] No damage, sir. Picard: No damage?? That's impossible!! Ceiling:With all due respect sir, so was everything else that happened in this kooky story. Picard: [Reflecting] Hmmm. Quite right, Ensign. I'm on my way up. CUT TO BRIDGE. THE ENTIRE BRIDGE CREW IS ASSEMBLED. DATA IS IN ONE PIECE AGAIN. Picard:So the destruction of the Ferengi device caused all the chaos on the ship to spontaneously vanish and return to normal. Data: Correct, sir. Since there was no logical foundation for the chaos to exist upon, the anomalies vanished when the Ferengi device was destroyed. Picard: Hmmmm... Do you suppose that they may try again? Data: Unknown. Riker: I certainly hope not. What do you think, Deanna? [ Troi says nothing; she just keeps purring and petting Riker. ] Worf: I think the Ferengi will not try again. They do not have the necessary bravery. Picard: Yes, Worf. You were unaffected. Aren't Klingons susceptible to stupidity? Worf: [Shakes head] Klingons are immune to all forms of human weakness. Geordi: Except, it would seem, ethnocentricity. Picard: We may have a great deal to learn from you, Worf. It would seem that we, as a race, have a great deal of maturing to do. Data, lay in a course for Starbase One. We're in serious need of some R&R. Data: Course plotted and laid in, sir. Picard: Engage. [ Freedlezrowp! ] Riker: What about the Robinson family? Picard: What about them? Riker: Well, are we going to keep them on board, or what? Data: I'd like to keep the Robot, if I may. It could prove most intriguing. Picard:Absolutely not! I'm having them transferred to the USS Scuttlebucket, which will land them on Earth in about eight months. It'll give them time to get a clue. Geordi: What about The Doctor and Mel? Data: Mel disappeared with the Ferengi device. The Doctor regenerated into a different actor with much better fashion sense, entered his blue box, and disappeared. Picard: Good. I didn't have much use for them. [ FOOMP! A lemon meringue pie lands squarely on Wesley's head. Picard eyes him with some regard. ] Riker: It was Data's idea sir. He's still exploring the nature of human humor. Picard: Excellent, Data! You're beginning to get the idea. Wesley: I'm going to sell you for scrap, Data. Picard: Shut up, Wesley. [ Riker smirks. ] Picard: And don't smirk, Number One. Riker: Sir. Picard: And *stop* hunching your head between your shoulders! T H E E N D (Thank God!) ============ COMICOGRAPHY ============ by Swannox STAR TREK, DEEP SPACE NINE #4 ----------------------------- The Television Series is Superior Fiction on television, and as far as current Star Trek Comic Books go, Deep Space Nine is superior to the other versions of Trek. HOWEVER....(you had to see it coming.) Deep Space Nine as a comic has a long way to go as far as script writing. The First two issues were very good, however the third, while having potential seemed to let me down. This current Issue of DS9 while having great potential as a story seemed to let me down. First place, the action seems to move far too fast for my pleasure, jumping from scene to scene far to fast. My second gripe is that the characters do not seem themselves at times. If I read Quark referring to his bar as "Honest Quark's" one more time... and Character Development or better yet, PLOT DEVELOPMENT. It's only four issues old, however while established characters, some development needs to take place instead of 2-D figures on paper...and the plot seems to come to the conclusion all of the sudden as if they rushed the story along to get to the 24 pages they are limited to. This aside.... Issue #4 Emancipation Part 1 Writer: Mike W. Barr While cruising in the gamma quadrant, and amidst Dr. Bashir trying to score in the back of the runabout with Dax, the duo comes across a rather big but mostly junker of a vessel, with a primitive cloaking device, and inferior tractor beam. After finding the ship full of dying aliens, Dax brings them back to DS9 where Bashir takes care of them. Their injuries let the DS9 crew to figure out that they were slaves and the aliens admit it is true and ask for asylum. They then cruise the station like teenagers in a shopping mall. The alien owners then come after them and request their property back. At the same time a few of the aliens tell Dax of a legendary planet and she finds it (of course) in this quadrant. Some of aliens steal a runabout and head off for this planet, which is their legendary home. [Editor's Comment: This plot line appears to be very similar to the Deep Space episode "Sanctuary", where the Skreel (or whatever) decide that Bajor is their legendary ancestral homeland. The Skreel go around the space station picking up stuff and one takes a ship without authorization to land on Bajor.] There are a couple of plot twists that I have left out of the review that should be, I try to leave some of the story as a mystery in the event that someone might go out and read this. The story is improving and I figure that it's just a new book, new to the story, etc. The art is solid, much better than that of DC Comics Trek Books. I will say this, they almost have Odo down pat. Next Review.......Emancipation part 2 ======================================================== SUBSCRIPTION SERVICE & LISTING OF RIF DISTRIBUTION SITES ======================================================== If you have an e-mail address at InterNet, Genie, NVN, Prodigy, AOL, Compu-serve, or FidoNet (or anything that has a gateway to any of these services), you can get on the RIF subscription list and have RIF sent to you via e-mail each month. Just e-mail your request to Oxnardus and your name will be put on the list. If you are not on GEnie, be sure to send your InterNet address. Also, if you are a SysOp and you'd like to be a distribution site for RIF, please contact Oxnardus of Borg (addresses given below). BBS distribution centers: RESISTANCE IS FUTILE BBS Oxnard, CA SysOp: Oxnardus (private BBS) RIP CITY Tacoma, WA SysOp: Ripley (206) 472-1845 NIGHTOWL BBS Oxnard, CA SysOp: NightOwl (805) 485-0363 DA WARREN Arvin, CA SysOp: Leonard Richardson (805) 854-2478 THE CONTINUUM BBS ?, OK SysOp: The Q (405) 282-4676 ============== EDITOR NOTICES ============== The Borg Club is located EVERYWHERE. If you wish to be assimilated just ask a local Borg to do so, or do it yourself. There is no shame in being a self-made borg. We are sure they are many who would be more than happy to assimilate you quickly and painlessly, not to mention take your culture and technology from you as well. ================= COPYRIGHT NOTICES ================= "RIF" acknowledges that Paramount Pictures and its various subsidiaries as having the sole rights to the Star Trek trademark. "RIF" has no intention to infringe upon that copyright or earn profit from this publication. It is distributed free of charge. This newsletter may be distributed by anyone if kept intact and not altered in any way. Consider it shareware publishing! Resistance is Futile, copyright (c) 1994 by RIF BBS. ================================= SOLICITATIONS FOR NEXT NEWSLETTER ================================= The next Resistance is Futile will be released on or about February 1, 1994 (yeah, right!). It shall commemorate the boffo second year of the International Borg Club's existence. Send submissions to Oxnardus, Ripley, or Swannox at the addresses notated below for consideration for a future issue. "RIF" is a non-profit fan publication. All submissions for publication should be sent to the editors. The editors retain editorial control and reprint privileges over the submitted materials and reserve the right to use the material in whatever way they deem appropriate. Submitted materials will not be returned to the sender. ============================ BACK ISSUES OF RIF AVAILABLE ============================ Missing an issue? Just e-mail Oxnardus which issue you want. After three requests or 30 days has passed (whichever comes first!) that issue will be sent to you via InterNet or GEnie e- mail. If you do not have access to InterNet or any InterNet gateways, just send $1.00 per issue (for handling and postage) to RIF BBS, P.O. Box 7822, Oxnard, CA 93031. Please indicate which issue you desire. All back issues are available! ========================= ADDRESSES OF CONTRIBUTORS ========================= EDITORS: ------- OXNARDUS:GEnie:K.Taborn; Prodigy:HCMH17A; InterNet: k.taborn@genie.geis.com; FidoNet: Oxnardus @ 1:206/2513; VirtualNet: 197 @ 1805020; WWIVNet: Oxnardus 115 @ 8500; AnarchyNet: Oxnardus @ 42:1005/1201; RipCity BBS: Oxnardus; RIME:Kym Taborn; US Mail: RIF BBS, P.O. Box 7822, Oxnard, CA 93031 RIPLEY:Genie:M.Samuels1; Prodigy:NRCR88A; NVN:Msamuels; InterNet: m.samuels1@genie.geis.com; RipCity BBS: Ripley; US Mail: RIF BBS, P.O. Box 7822, Oxnard, CA 93031 SWANNOX:Internet:swann1@muvns6.wvnet.edu; RIF BBS: Swannox; Bitnet: Swann1@MUVMS6; Prodigy: JPRN49A CONTRIBUTORS: ------------ DRAGON:[SysOp: The Dragon's Realm - (805) 524-DRGN (3746)]; AnarchyNet: Dragon @ 42:1005/1203; RIPCITY: The Dragon LEONARD RICHARDSON: SySop: Da Warren BBS (805) 854-2478 LUXOR OF BORG: InterNet:ecsgrt@luxor.latrobe.edu.au WAZZUUS OF BORG: InterNet: Juliaellen@aol.com; AOL: juliaellen