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Season 6, episode 12
Series 612
1st release: 01-29-01
2nd release:
Production number: V1415
Script number:
Approximate shooting dates: mid-November 2000; early January 2001
Last update: 02-15-01

SYNOPSIS 1 by Bluesong
SYNOPSIS 2 by Shana
COMMENTARY 1 BY Beth the Gaynor
COMMENTARY 3 BY Josh Harrison

Alexandra Tydings (Aphrodite)
Alexis Arquette (Caligula)
Adrienne Wilkinson (Eve)
Kevin Smith (Ares)
Charles Mesure (Michael)

Written Emily Skopov
Directed by Garth Maxwell

The Archangel Michael summons Xena to kill the now immortal Roman emperor Caligula, who has been murdering innocents in his quest for absolute power. ExciteTV

The Archangel Michael asks Xena and Gabrielle to stop the evil---and immortal---Roman emperor Caligula (Alexis Arquette), who is slaughtering innocents. Afraid for her daughter Eve, who is in Rome, Xena agrees to the job. But her plan takes a bad turn when she learns Caligula has taken Aphrodite (Alexandra Tydings) as a sex slave. If he dies, she will die, too. To complicate matters, Michael manipulates Eve into becoming the bait he believes Xena needs to kill Caligula. TVguide.com

Xena is summoned to kill the one and only Caligula. Wonder if she saw his movie? Entertainment Weekly


This synopsis is by Bluesong.

Xena and Gabrielle come across a killing field. People are beheaded, hung, stabbed, and dead in all ways imaginable. Who did this? Michael the Archangel pops in. Xena pulls her sword. She is not happy to see him. Michael says Caligula did the killing. He tells Xena that Caligula is immortal and a god and that Xena needs to go see him, since she has the power to kill gods. He talks about all the bad things Caligula does, including killing Eligians, and tells Xena that Eve has gone to Rome to try to stop Caligula. Xena tells Michael not to forget that she can kill angels, too. Xena and Gabrielle ride off.

Caligula rides through the streets of Rome, dragging bodies. He goes to a person, hands him a sword, asks him to stab him. The fellow does, Caligula does not bleed. He says everyone can pray to him and his cult of blood. Some old man says he can't forsake his gods, and Caligula tells his guards to kill him. Eve steps in to stop him. She talks about the God of Eli. Eve is caught.

Xena rides in on a chariot. Gabrielle slips in and takes Eve away to safety. Xena attacks the guards. Ares slips into the crowd. Xena jumps out of the chariot and lands in front of Caligula. She goes to kill him, but Ares runs from the crowd and pushes her aside. He tells an angry Xena that if she kills Caligula, she also kills Aphrodite. He says the lives of Caligula and Aphrodite are bound together somehow.

Gabrielle tells Eve to get over being rescued and to go to the catacombs with the other Eligians.

Aphrodite appears. She admires Caligula, goes up to Ares and rubs on him. Xena watches. Caligula kisses Aphrodite and Aphrodite faints. Caligula turns his attention to Xena, who has on a half mask, but Gabrielle suddenly pops in front of him. She says she is "Cinda of Thrace" and she represents "Saaba" who wanted to ask Caligula for a chariot race before she was interrupted by Ares. Caligula is intrigued and says okay, be my guests for a bit.

Xena and Gabrielle bath. Xena washes Gabrielle's foot. Xena says she doesn't want Eve to get hurt. She talks about Caligula's genocide and his cult of blood. She wonders what the link is between Aphrodite and Caligula. She gets out of the tub and tells Gabrielle she's going to the dungeon to see Ares.

Gabrielle goes to the party. She goes to Aphrodite, but Aphrodite doesn't recognize Gabrielle. Aphrodite acts drugged or drunk. She walks out into the hallway and tries to kiss Gabrielle. Caligula misses Aphrodite and finds Aphrodite attempting to kiss Gabrielle again. Caligula tells Gabrielle that Saaba is late and she will die for it.

Ares tells Xena that the God of Love becomes unbalanced without the God of War. Caligula is a succubus, sucking the godhood out of Aphrodite.

Gabrielle decides to stall for time by performing a dance (The Amazon Dance of Fire, I hereby dub it). As she ends, Xena appears behind her and Gabrielle tells her Aphrodite doesn't recognize them. Caligula expresses his disappointment in Saaba's tardiness. Xena disrobes. She is really underdressed. She tells Caligula she will pass all the tests he requires of her. Caligula brings out Ares and tells Xena to kill him. Xena says okay, but there's a floor show Cinda and I used to do and we'd like to perform it first. She gets all hot with Ares and asks Caligula if he'd like to participate. He says no. Xena goes to him and kisses him and bites his lip. Ares and Gabrielle watch Xena seduce Caligula. Xena goes back to Ares and kisses his nipple.

Caligula's lip bleeds. He tells the guards to put Saaba in chains and he shrieks a lot and runs everyone out of the room. He also hits Aphrodite. He asks a guard to stab his arm. The knife goes in and out and leaves no wound. "My sweet immortality" Caligula says.

Aphrodite's head bleeds a little from where Caligula hit her. Gabrielle talks to Aphrodite and keeps telling her they are friends. Aphrodite goes to do the god-disappearing thing but can't.

Caligula confronts Xena. Xena is chained. Saaba tells Caligula that she is the Celtic Goddess of Sex and she came to join him in his orgies. She says she has the ability to pierce the veil of immortality and it's a risk not to keep her around. She tells Caligula to get rid of Aphrodite because she's puny; two healthy gods are better. Xena performs a leap, cuts her chains, and walks out. She tells Caligula as she leaves that she makes a very good friend and even better enemy.

Caligula is haunted by the voice of his mother. He goes nuts. Michael the Archangel appears to him, laughing.

Eve prays in a circle of Eligians. Michael appears to her. He leads her away. He tells her to have no fear.

Caligula broods. Eve is brought to him. Eve preaches. Caligula pulls out a knife and goes to kill her. Xena interrupts. She punches out Eve, knocking her unconscious, and tells Caligula he should kill the messenger of Eli in front of lots of people. Caligula tells Xena that a demon with wings came to him and told him he needed to kill Eve.

Gabrielle tries to console and upset and unbalanced Aphrodite. Michael appears. He raises his sword. Xena runs in the room and attacks him. "Now you go after my girlfriends," she says. Xena and Michael fight. Xena knocks him into the big spa. She does her Xena touch on Michael, and keeps pushing his head under water. Michael says he wasn't trying to kill Gabrielle, just Aphrodite, because if Caligula kisses Aphrodite one last time he will become a full god. Xena keeps pushing Michael under water, even though Gabrielle says "Xena, please." Xena asks Michael what happens to angels when they die. The BEAMER comes down; Xena is awash in flames. Michael laughs, disappears. The light goes off Xena; she's weak, she tells Gabrielle the power to kill gods is gone.

Caligula enters the room. He kisses Aphrodite and gets a mouth of flame. Xena punches Caligula, who interprets that as a jealous love tap. Caligula does the godhood disappearing trick. Gabrielle comforts Aphrodite, who is now mortal. The bond between Caligula and Aphrodite has been broken and Aphrodite remembers Gabrielle.

Xena goes to Eve and Ares in the dungeon. Aphrodite has her mind back, Xena says, but Caligula is now a god. Xena tells Eve she's sorry, but Eve is not a happy camper. She tells Xena stuff is her choice. Xena says, but she's the Mom. Eve tells Xena she can't protect her all the time. Xena says its funny you should say that.

Xena drags Eve behind a chariot. The guards tie Eve to a post. Xena (with her mask on) watches. Caligula enters. He tells the Roman people that there will be a chariot race between him and his soon-to-be new queen, the Goddess Saaba. The victor in the race will kill Eve. They go to the chariots. They race. Caligula tosses off a few ill-timed fireballs. Xena pulls ahead at the end and then Caligula wrecks his chariot. Xena wins the race. (The race is run to actual honest-to-goodness XENA music, for anyone who cares.)

Xena takes off her mask. Gabrielle yells out, "It's Xena, Warrior Princess." The crowd mutters. Caligula says oh yeah, you're the godslayer. And the mother of the Whore of Rome, as you called my daughter, Xena says. Caligula looks nervous. The crowd chants, "Xena! Xena!" Xena tells Caligula he hasn't got a prayer; she's been killing gods for years and he can't even toss a fireball properly. Caligula tells the crowd they should love him and someone throws something at him. He is unhappy because the crowd doesn't like him. Xena tells him he should kill himself; that will put everyone out of their misery and his name will live forever, but if she kills him, he'll just be another god she slays. Caligula stabs himself and dies. Xena, Gabrielle and Eve walk off.

Xena stands before a flame. She says she feels dirty. Caligula was not evil, she says. Aphrodite does not like being mortal. Ares says join the club. Aphrodite asks Gabrielle if they are really friends. Xena says okay, it's time to go.

Eve asks Xena if she is sorry she lost her greatest gift. Xena, with her arms around Gabrielle and Eve, says that she has her two greatest gifts right there and she has no intention of losing either of them.


This synopsis is by Shana.

I had been looking forward to this one all week. What transpired wasn't exactly what I had envisioned, but I don't think they can show that on television anyway! This was a rather twisty-turny episode...one that had the predicaments continually getting worse and worse until the final segment in which Xena proves once again why the show is named after her.

The episode starts with Xena and Gabrielle walking through a battlefield of mutilated corpses, several of them women. There are severed heads and slit throats abound. Gabs wants to know who would do this. Gabrielle's horse is back to the apaloosa of two weeks ago...last week her horse was white. Anyway, Michael, the archangel flashes before Xena, who immediately draws her sword. "What do you want, Michael?" Michael senses hostility from Xena and wants her to know, "I'm all right with that." The guy is pulling sarcasm right away! Apparently, that's not one of the seven deadly sins. Xena says that's big of him, considering last time they met he was trying to condemn her to hell. He responds, "Desperate times call for desperate measures." If I were him, and had a sword being thrust at my chest by the warrior princess, I would have told her I knew she was the only one who could have taken care of Lucifer. But that's me; Michael doesn't stroke egos apparently. He tells her times are desperate again, and when she asks who's responsible for the carnage, he answers, "Caligula." Xena responds immediately to the name, and when Michael says "You know his reputation," Xena responds, "He's a psycho, sex addict, and murderer...you're run-of-the-mill Roman emperor." Gabrielle adds, "And he thinks he's a god." Michael tells her no, he is a god. Xena wants to know how it happened. Michael tells her he doesn't know. And that's not important. What's important is Xena is the only one who can kill gods.

Michael gives Xena and Gabs a little background information. Caligula rose to power by killing Tiberius, and every single member of his own family. He slays anyone who won't swear allegience to his cult of blood. He wants his name in history books as one of the great gods of the Pantheon. "And he'll destroy anyone who won't submit to him." Xena's been listening to all this with a sneer, but when Michael gets to this point, she smiles wickedly and adds, "Including angels, no doubt." Michael is sure taunting her..."And the followers of Eli." Xena's blue eyes are blazing, far bluer than I've seen them in a long time. Must be the lighting. "If anything's happened to Eve, Michael..." Eve...Eve...let's see...I know that name from somewhere...Hee hee...Oh yeah, Xena's daughter. THAT Eve! Michael tells Xena that Eve has gone to stop the persecution, but nothing has happened to her yet. Xena doesn't take this news well...she points her sword at Michael again and growls, "If I find out you're behind any of this, Michael, I swear I-" "As you well know, Xena," he cuts her off, "your daughter obeys a power higher than me." I desperately wanted to jump through my television screen and help Xena wipe that smug smile off Michael's face. Xena takes a second to regroup, then whispers, "MIchael, don't forget...if I can kill gods, then I can kill angels too." She pointedly walks away from him.

There's a long shot of Xena and Gabrielle galloping toward Rome, still dressed in their regular clothes, then we get to meet Caligula. He rides into the town square (don't know what else to call it), on a chariot, gold laurels on his head, waving his hand toward his people. Behind the chariot, the bodies of two men are dragged, face up. He rolls to a stop, and then hops off the chariot and stands before a tall, young Roman. He hands a knife to the Roman, bares his chest and tells the Roman to do it. The young Roman puts a sword through Cali's stomach, and pulls it out again. There is no blood...no damage at all. The Roman swears his loyalty to Cali who is pleased, as long as swears only to his "eternal cult of blood". The Roman kisses his ring (is Cali part pope?) and is dismissed. Cali turns to an old man, wanting the same allegience, holding up his ring to be kissed and the old man says he can't foresake his religion. Caligula says, "Then you forsake your life," and orders the old man to be tied up.

Sounds like a cue for a defender to me, and Eve makes her first appearance. "Let him go!" Caligula wants to know who she is, and a soldier whispers in his ear. "Oh, Eve of the Elijans!" he exclaims with recognition. Okay...Elijans? That's a new one to me, she was always a follower of the "cult of Eli" before this point. If I'm correct, Eli was never referred to as Elijah, although it's obvious that's who he was modelled after, and as far as I'm concerned, "Elijans" comfirms it. Caligula is still talking, "You know, I wish I hadn't been away in the provinces when you were Livia. How I would have enjoyed meeting the Bitch of Rome." He chuckles as if he's said something clever. I like Eve's response. "Now I'm the bitch FOR Rome," she tells him, "and for people through the God of Eli, whose love is an unconquerable force once it has entered the soul. As his message spreads, Caliglua, your days of tyranny are over." Now, Eve really got on my nerves in The Haunting of Amphipolis and Heart of Darkness, but she's not bothering me too much here, except for the way her voice keeps rising and falling. "and for people THROUGH THE GOD of Eli, whose love is an UNCONQUERABLE FORCE"...and so on...I'll get over it!

Caligula gives a mock overfaked yawn..."Now I remember why I love to kill Elijans...it's the only thing that shuts them up." I dunno...it's hard to see how this guy managed to rise to power in the manner he did. He doesn't act that intelligent, and he looks more like a cross between Luke Skywalker and Greg Brady than a Roman emperor. About that time we hear a familiar "Yah!" off-screen, and in races another chariot. One of the soldiers comments it's coming in too fast, and orders for it to be stopped. The soldiers run from Eve, and another familiar face pops up...Gabrielle. She's dressed in her regular clothes with a orangish piece of cloth over one shoulder and a cute little fez, which she removes (like Eve wouldn't recognize her with it on?) and grabs Eve's arm, telling her to go with her. Xena is, of course, the reckless chariot driver, and she's dressed in a long black robe, with gold armour plating, and gold combination mask and helmet obscuring the upper two thirds of her face. She sword fights a few soldiers as the chariot is still moving, and Ares moves up (where did he come from?) behind the old man to watch the action. Caligua is watching the action in amazement as the chariot comes to a screeching halt, and Xena somersalts off of it to land in front of him, full warrior princess haughty glare in place. Caligula recoils a bit, then says, "I don't know who you are, but I like your style." Xena then raises a leg, grabs a dagger from her shoe, and stabs him in the chest, making this the shortest episode of XWP ever. Well, I think that was the intention, but someone interferes. She draws the dagger saying, "Oh yeah, how do you like this?" and goes to strike and is tackled by a diving Ares!

Hmmm...Ares seems to have ditched the overalls from his previous appearance and is back in his regular leathers. Xena isn't too pleased with him, calling him a fool..."What do you think you're doing?" "I can't let you kill my sister," he responds evenly. Xena's confused, and so am I...but Aphrodite appears at that moment, reclining on...something, with some scantily clad muscled Romans around her. She is almost unrecognizable...at least to me...she's wearing very little clothing, but her hair is all decked out like some kind of sombrero,and her face is expressionless, almost as if it's painted on. "Aphrodite and Caligula's lives are bound together," Ares tells Xena: they're still on the ground, by the way,"If he dies, then you destroy her too." Cali takes Aprhodite's hand, and pulls her up, so they can walk side by side as we fade to opening credits.

Gabs and Eve are still moving fast, getting away from Cali as the next segment opens. They're arms are intertwined, and Gabrielle wants to know if Eve is all right. She is fine, but says Gabs and Xena shouldn't be there, it's her mission. "Your mother's mission is protecting you," Gabrielle tells her. She tells Eve there are some Elijans (so now she's using the term too) hiding in the catacombs outside of town, and she wants Eve to go there. Eve hesitates, then agrees to it. Gabrielle turns to head back, and puts the fez back on, telling herself, "Okay."

Cali and Aprhodite are making puppy dog eyes at each other, while Xena and Ares continue to uh...lay in the dirt, but then they are both hauled to their feet by some soldiers. Xena stands in front of Caligula. "Either you are incredibly stupid," he starts, then he turns all goofy, "or you know that there is nothing I enjoy more than a good surprise." Xena sizes him up with her gaze, while Aprhodite does something that shocked me. She eyes her brother, likes his looks, and advances toward him. This poor guy sure gets felt up a lot this season!! Aphrodite runs her hands down his sides and Ares exclaims "Okay! Bad touching!" as her hands move to uh...a very popular spot on his body this season, if you catch my drift. "Stopping now!" he cries, obviously (thank the gods) extremely uncomfortable with her actions. Xena looks shocked too, at first, then when Caligula pulls Aprhodite back and orders Ares and the Elijan taken to prison, turns back to her study of Cali. I like the fact that despite she is wearing the mask, you can see the wheels in her head turning...obviously, a plan is in formation as Caligula speaks. Aphrodite tells Cali she's tired, and he tells her she should rest, then bends her back over his arm and gives her a long kiss, which puts her to sleep somehow. Xena watches all this with a look that says she really, REALLY wants to stop this, but knows it's not the time. Cali releases the love goddess to some of the muscle bound men, then gives a little shake like he just ate a York Peppermint Patty, then turns back to Xena.

"All right," he says, overacting fully in place,"Why don't you try to tell me just exactly what you think you were doing?" Xena opens her mouth to answer, but in pops Gabrielle to stand before her and say, " Allow me to explain. I am Sinda of Thrace. I represent the financial interests of the great charioteer, Sabah." The way she smiles as she says the names, I have the feeling she's making them up as she goes along. She even gives a little gun finger point at Xena when she gets to the Sabah part. If they hadn't been interrupted, Sabah was going to challenge him to a chariot race. Check out Gabs' hysterical turn and grin and nod at Xena as she finishes her little speech.

Caligula is intrigued, sensing a little fun in this. He pushes Gabs aside to check out Sabah. "And I do so love tall girls," he says, putting his hands on Xena's sides and turning her. She is being strangely quiet, but when one of his hands slips behind her warrior butt and does...something...she responds by thrusting her hips forward with a little hiccup sound. "You will be my guest of honor at the palace...so I can enjoy your company...until the race. " he tells her, as they walk off screen.

Xena and Gabrielle settle in at the palace...right into a big bathtub. They're sitting on opposite sides, and Xena has a hold of Gabrielle's foot, washing away. "That's good," Gabrielle whispers. I don't think Xena's in the mood for bathtime fun though...she tells Gabbers that Rome "irks me". She tells Gabs that they have to stop Cali from killing Eve, but Gabs reminds her Eve is safe with the Elijans. Xena doesn't trust Eve to stay there though...good move. Check out the reflections of the ladies' bodies underwater. I don't know if they have on body suits or not, but they certainly aren't using stunt doubles in this one. Xena makes a retreat out of the bathwater and into a green towel. Gabs tells Xena they have to stop Cali without hurting Aphrodite. "Which means we have to find out what this crazy bond is between them", Xena responds, "and break it." This scene is almost like a Mission Impossible...this message will self-destruct in thirty seconds...recording. Gabrielle continues, "We have to stop this Caligula from committing genocide for his cult of blood." Xena dries off and releases her hair remarkably fast, and is hopping in an effort to squeeze herself into her oufit. She agrees with Gabs, saying Aphrodite will be at the party. She wants Gabbers to try to talk some sense into her while she speaks with Ares in the dungeon. She'll join the party later. As she dons her mask and moves out of the room, Gabrielle calls after her, "Xena, don't forget you're the guest of honor!"

The party is in full swing, and Gabbers moves across the room, now dressed totally Romanish (Romanesque...Romanoff?). She's got that pillbox hat on again. She sits down beside Aphrodite, telling her "Aphrodite, you look beautiful. Just a little...different." Aphrodite pulls away a bit, very dazed and confused, and do we really have to look at a fat guy stuffing a bunch of grapes in his mouth? Gabbers tries again, this time pulling off the hat (does she really think she looks that different with it on?)..."Aphrodite, don't you remember me?" "You're being very familiar," Aphrodite responds in a whiny tone, "considering I'm a goddess and you're a butt kissing parasite." Gabrielle is genuinely hurt. "Aphrodite, I'm your friend." The love goddess stares at her for a second, then mutters, "Leave me alone" and gets to her feet. She staggers off, looking as if she's quite drunk, leaving Caligula behind to make out with some chick, ignoring her totally. "Aphrodite," Gabs calls, falling her, making four consecutive sentences started with "Aphrodite." "Aphrodite, are you okay?" "Fabulous!" comes the response, as her sweeping hand guesture knocks a big vase to the floor. "Wonderful, I've never been so happy!" She giggles at first, but the smile fades as she takes Gabs shoulder and pushes her back against a wall. I think Hrothgar has been giving her pointers. She leans in and plants her lips on Gabbers for just the briefest touch, and Gabs pushes her back, asking "What are you doing?" in a most shocked and uncomfortable tone. Funny thing is...for the very briefest of seconds, Gabrielle's eyes closed and she didn't fight...almost as if it was a reflex response. I'll let that thought go, because she's obviously very displeased with the development. Back at the party, Cali notices his woman has split.

Gabs and Aphrodite are still in the hall, and Aphrodite is telling Gabs she loves Cali sooooo much, which Gabs doesn't believe. Cali interrupts then, telling Gabs "You must forgive her. She's tired...and emotional." Some men walk Aphrodite off, and she gives a little wave to Gabbers. "I can tell," Gabs responds. This guy has serious mood swings...one minute he's being polite, and now he's mad. "And where is your Sabah? Hmm?" For a minute I thought Gabs was looking for a melon, no that's casaba, but she turns to see if Xena is there yet. "She insults both the emperor and the god with her failure to appear," Caligula adds. He says it's time for some kind (couldn't quite make it out) of guard to hunt her down. "Maybe then she'll learn the importance of punctuality...in death." He snaps his fingers. Oh great, he's got delusions of being Fonzie on top of all his other personalities!

Ares is laid back in a prison cell, but hops to his feet as Xena approaches. "Xena...thank the heavens!" I'm going to miss "thank the gods", but I guess it can't really be said now, can it? His first question is "How's Aphrodite?" but Xena says she was hoping he could tell her that. They're speaking in hushed whispers as Ares tells her he came to Rome when he heard she was losing her mind. Without the god of war, the goddess of love becomes unbalanced. Hmmm...another side effect to Ares giving up his godhood.

Upstairs at the party, Gabrielle has to think of a stall. She follows Caligula back to the party, and tells him he's not going to leave before she can give her "world renowned performance". "Performance?" he and I echo in unison. Downstairs, Ares tells Xena that Cali is sucking Aphrodite's power (interesting choice of words there), bit by bit. "Now if you thought he was bad as an emperor, imagine him with the powers of a full god." And Ares can't stop him. "Well, maybe I can," Xena replies but Ares tells her no. Did he really think Xena would listen? "I've got to come between them before it's too late", she says doggedly, redonning her mask and heading back out of the dungeon.

It's time for Gabrielle's performance. I'm not sure exactly what it's supposed to be. I think it's a combination of martial arts and dance moves, with a little fire in little jars in the hand thing, but it certainly kept Caligula's attention. Someone else will have to figure out exactly what she was doing...it escaped me. Some Romans hold up some square shaped platforms and Gabs jumps on top to continue her routine. Aphrodite is fascinated, and Caligula has to use his hand on her face to divert her attention from Gabrielle's contortions. Xena enters and focuses on Cali rubbing his fingers over Aphrodite's eyelids as she drops back into a sleep. Gabrielle finishes up her routine with a backward somersalt off the platform to applause from all, including Caligula. Xena stands behind Gabs, "Did you get to Aphrodite?" she whispers, to which Gabs responds, "She doesn't recognize us."

Caligula's amusement fades when he spots Xena. He calls out "Sabah! I missed your company." Methinks Gabrielle has just been forgotten, because she pulls the black robe from Xena's body, leaving Xena decked out in a legs and torso bared, mesh and black outfit. "I am at your command, Sire." He chuckles, "Careful! I can have some pretty unusual commands." He gets a close up of her abs and breathes, "Whew!!" before turning to his guests. He wants her to prove herself worthy of a chariot race against her. This guy's mouth reminds me of a horse...he's got some really big teeth! "Name your test, Lord," Xena responds, sounding a little bored. "I will prove myself worthy of your indulgence." A gong sounds and Ares is brought in. shirtless, of course. Xena is shocked, but takes a sword handed to her, and looks to Caligula. "Prove yourself," he says calmly..."Kill him." He gives that big toothy grin, then breaks into a Joker laugh as the scene fades.

The next part isn't going to sit too well with some fans, but I'm just shallow enough to say I just turned up the air conditioning as the next scene unfolded. Gabrielle floats into the picture, and Xena pulls her to the other side of Ares. "In a former life, my manager and I had a little floor show," Xena says with a smile as Gabs grabs Ares' arm and wraps it around herself," which we'd like now to perform for you in honor of our emperor's exotic taste and entertainment." Ares is eyeing them both warily, as Gabs kisses his hand with a big old grin on her face. The crowd approves with catcalls and applause, and Ares gives a silly little "sure whatever" look. "Now you're talking", Caligula says in approval.

Xena goes right for her favorite spot on Ares, the left nipple, but turns back to Cali. "Do you want a piece of this?" she asks huskily. Ares response is a non-verbal "Huh?". "I'm tempted," Caligula admits, checking out Ares..."Deeply tempted...but...I uhhh...I can't." He reclines next to the unconscious Aphrodite and indicates that she's the one stopping him. Xena has a hold of Ares nipple, again, but leaves Gabrielle to rub against Ares as she approaches Caligula. "Well, just as you like," she purrs, "Though I'd like to give you a taste of what you'd be missing." She moves in close, removes her mask, and gives him a kiss, that ends with her sucking on his bottom lip, and just before releasing him, she bites down on the lip. "You are the savage one," he tells her, his eyes widening. "You have no idea," she whispers back with a slight smile, rubbing noses with him, and then she moves back to Ares, who has been watching all this with Gabrielle's hands on his pectorals (what I would give to be Renee's hands just then!). "And now," Xena tells him with a grin, "Let us entertain you!" Caligula leans forward to watch, and what's that I see on his lip, but a small trickle of blood! Uh oh!!

Xena's mouth sure does like that nipple! "You know," Ares tells her, "I've fantasized about this in about a hundred different situations, but I've got to tell you...this scenario never came up." Gabrielle has disappeared behind him...all you can see is the tip top of her golden hair over his shoulder. "Well, enjoy it while you can," Xena responds from somewhere down below his chin "because in about thirty seconds, all hell is going to break loose."

It was only about ten seconds...Caligula notices the blood, and freaks. "Guards! Put that woman in chains! Immediately!" The guards move to do his bidding, and Ares says questioningly "Now?" I'm not sure if he's referring to the breaking loose of hell or if he's questioning Caligula's really bad timing. Xena's hands and feet are bound with chains.

Aphrodite wakes up then, and whimpers to Cali that she wants to go home. He backhands her, cutting her forehead, and tells her no, and goes back to worrying about his lip. Xena has to restrain herself again from attacking, and I don't blame her. This guy gives jerks a bad name. Caligula orders the hall cleared, and people take off screaming like it's the Titantic. Caligula pants for a guard to stab him in the arm, and the order is followed, but when there's no blood, Caligula shoves the guard away. "I still have it," he tells himself, "My sweet immortality." He glances at Xena who is steely eyed, a confident smile on her lips, and Cali has to look away, frightened.

Aphrodite still doesn't know who Gabrielle is, but at least she seems to trust her. She's looking in a hand mirror, laughing at the cut on her forehead, saying she's going to die now that she's a pathetic mortal. Gabrielle puts her hands to the former goddess's face, saying her name two more times as she tries to convince her that they're friends. So much for trusting Gabs, Aphrodite says she's not staying there, and tries to warp out of there, twice, but can't do it. Her powers seem to be gone.

The party room is now cleared, save Caligula and Xena. He's still touching that lip of his, and Xena watches him. He looks at her, and she holds up her chained hands..."Nice touch". He slowly approaches her, asking how it's possible she could make him bleed. "I'm an immortal," he tells her. Xena's response? "Join the club. Caligula, I am immortal too." He's incredulous. "Sabah the charioteer is a god?" "No, Sabah, the Celtic goddess of sex is a god. When I heard that the Olympians had met an untimely end, I felt this was the perfect opportunity for me to spread my...(insert breathy pause)...wings." (I promise you, I did NOT make that up!) Her delivery reminds me very much of Cleopatra's telling Antony, "Now, I am free." She wants to be allies with Caligula. He wants to know what power she has. "Well, you've already experienced my powers," she tells him, walking behind him. I guess her feet weren't chained too tightly. My mind was running a little rampant at this point, but she continues, "I have the ability to pierce the veil of immortality...to make gods bleed...to make gods die...It's an uncommon gift." I don't know what that has to do with her being a sex goddess, but Cali didn't seem to question it. She's smiling at him in that disconcerting way, and he says, "And a risk for any god to keep you around." Well, at least he has some sanity left. "It's a risk not too," she returns. Then with a jealous tone, she adds, "especially when you compare me to that washed-out dishrag, Aphrodite." Doh! Gabs better not hear about this! Hee hee!

Caligula suddenly realizes Elvis...errr...Aphrodite has left the building. "Where is she, anyway?" "Oh, forget her. She's weak! You know how much better it would be if there were two healthy gods using one another," She puts the chain between her hands around her neck and rubs rather erotically up and down against the back of his, audibly....whoa! He likes that! He turns to face her. "You mean you...and I?" he asks. Yeah, sure...he's not slow to catch on at all! "Well, otherwise you'd be known as Caligula, god of messed up freaks," Xena replies. Something in that statement ticks him off and he pushes her away, demanding, "Do you know who you are talking too?" "Do you?" she returns, calmly, and then giving her battle cry, does a vertical somersalt. On her ascent, a spear hanging above her cuts the chains that have been holding her. Caligula recoils in fear, the big wuss, and Xena continues, "My offer's on the table, Caligula. You think about it carefully. I make a very good friend, and an even better enemy." She leaves him speechless as she walks out of the room, raising her arms with a flourish to get the guards on either side of the doorway to uncross their spears for her exit.

I don't think the next scene was really necessary, but apparently Caligula hears voices. He's in his chambers, and his mother's voice is mocking him, telling him he's weak and pathetic. Cali is groveling and screaming, trying to convince himself it's all imagined, then yells for someone to save him. His mother's voice says "Save yourself," and there's the sound of laughter behind him. Guess who it is? It's the friendly neighborhood instigator, at least in this episode, Michael. "What sort of demon are you?" Caligula asks, and Michael just looks at him. Very very strange...I've never known an angel to be so cold and calculated.

Cut to the catacombs and Eve deep in prayer. Someone approaches from behind and puts his hands on her temples. "At last," she whispers, "I am ready." and turns to face...Michael. Now he has the angelic smile again. He calms and soothes Eve, telling her she's afraid. She tries to tell him she isn't, but he whispers "Have no fear," and leads her out of the cave.

After the commercials, Cali is sitting on his throne, pouting, and Eve is brought in and dropped before his feet. She tells him she gives all to Caesar, all that is Caesar's, but she also offers him the path of true redemption. I do very much like Cali's response. "You are so...earnest." She tries again, telling him to denounce lust and violence for truth and hope. He weighs them both over, but the status quo is what he wants to stick with as he draws a dagger and prepares to strike. Eve isn't protesting.

Someone else is..."Oh fabulous," comes a sarcastic voice out of the darkness, and Xena approaches, shaking her head, admonishing, "Caligula, what on earth did you think you were doing?" Eve's has turned to her, her mouth barely whispering, "Mother?" "I don't need you to interfere with my mission!" Eve barks to which Xena raises an arm and (I'm sorry, but I found this hilarious), cold-cocks her daughter upside the head. Xena barely glances down, saying to Cali, "Granted she's a bit irritating (is anyone thinking blonde here?), but why here and now?" Caligula tells her the demon with wings told him that killing her would ensure his legacy as the greatest of all gods." Xena's eyes react to his statement...she knows who the "demon" he speaks of is, but she repeats, "The demon with wings," as if she thinks Cali is an idiot for imagining it. "My dear," she says leading him away,"Why here and now when there is neither sport nor glory?" She has taken the dagger from Cali, and pitches it over her shoulder. "Glory?" he asks, trailing slightly behind like an overeager puppy. Xena obviously is going to spell things out for this one...telling him how much more effective it would be for him to exterminate the messenger of Eli in front of the masses. He finally catches on..."That would make them take notice." Xena gives him a golf clap with a straight-faced "Superb". He mutters something about his Brute cologne...Roman...I would assume, and takes Xena's hands, as they side-step a slow tango back down the hallway they were just walking through. "Why do you prefer Aphrodite to me?" she asks as they move, and curious thing is, it sounds like she really wants to know. "It's not that I prefer her, My Sweet," he answers, "It's just that I need one final thing from her." "What's that?" Xena asks. They stop the dance and he pulls her to him. "A final kiss goodbye," he answers, and then he leaves the hall.

Aphrodite is lounging on the side of the tub, but Gabrielle pulls her to a sitting position. "Why are you doing this to me?" Aphrodite asks, annoyed. Hey, Gabs started a sentence to her without using her name! "I want my friend back." Aphrodite is a little cranky, telling Gabs she could turn her into a mosquito if she wanted. Gabs calmly replies that she could have done that hours ago but wouldn't do it because she wouldn't want to hurt her. Aphrodite's next question is sincere. "Well, if we're such good friends, then how come I don't recognize you?" Gabrielle sounds pretty forceful with her response, "Because you're giving up your identity to some maniac whom you claim to love!" Then guess who materializes but an archangel who's really starting to bug me. I've had a certain amount of respect for Michael...until this episode...he's causing way too many problems. He raises a sword, and is going to lop off someone's head...not sure if it's Aphrodite's or Gabrielle's, but we hear Xena call "Michael!" from off screen, and she appears out of nowhere, to give him a vicious kick. "You tried to get Caligula to kill Eve to force my hand...now you go after my girlfriends..." Girlfriends? Ookkaayy...Gabrielle pulls Aphrodite to safety as Xena finishes growling , "That's not gonna happen!...Bring it on!!"

Michael is cooperative and starts swinging his sword at her. She's still dressed in her...less than leather look...and he's wearing his complete armour, so as she proceeds to whip his butt, there are some cool clanging noises from her feet, knees, and hands hitting him. Gabrielle watches the action, offering quiet little cheers for Xena. The stunt double for Michael is horrendous...the hair isn't even close, but the fight is still pretty awesome. Eventually Xena gets the upper hand and sends Michael flying into the tub. She warcries her way across the pool, and puts the pinch on him, then casually lays down on her stomach, feet in the air, upper body supported by her elbows. I thought she was going to start telling ghost stories, but she says, "Okay, Michael, You know the drill...you've got thirty seconds." Michael just gasps and shakes his tail feathers a little...Gabrielle moves in closer, and starts to look very uncomfortable with the situation. I have to admit, I wasn't feeling too good about it myself. I know Xena is fearless, but to kill an angel? When Michael won't respond, Xena puts her hand on his head and slowly pushes him underwater, causing Gabrielle to shout, "Xena, stop it!" Xena releases him and raises herself on her knees and one elbow and props one hand under her cheek, smiling "Ten, nine, eight..." Michael finally gives...even though, he's a little rambling..."I was trying to kill Aphrodite, not Gabrielle, because Caligula is threatening to become Eli's major foe, and we can't allow the madman to become a full god, which will surely happen if he kisses Aphrodite one more time, and the only way I can do that is by killing Aphrodite." During that statement, which I assure you took longer than eight seconds to deliver, Xena looks to Gabrielle who shakes her head, then covers her face with her hands...hey, she's got gold gloves on! Aphrodite just looks mighty confused, almost non-responsive.

"I've got one more question for ya," Xena answers. Gabs had turned to look at Aphrodite, but her attention averts to the still angry Xena. Xena continues, hissing "What happens to angels when they die?" She pushes Michael underwater again, and Gabrielle cries out, again, "Xena, stop it!" Xena ignores her. I had a feeling what was coming, and I was right. Xena suddenly bolts upright, her arms thrown back as a beam from the heaven shoots down over her. She cries out, obviously in pain. This isn't the same type of beam that gave her the power to kill gods. Gabrielle has to shield her eyes, but all Xena can do is gasp and writhe in pain in the light, while Michael laughs like some demented pirate, hands on his hips. He is suddenly swept up to heaven, and the beam releases Xena and disappears. My goodness, you can count her ribs! She's got her stomach all tensed up and is incredibly slender! Gabs really should have let her finish her food in The Rheingold! Gabrielle goes to help her and Xena raises her head, "It's gone...they took it away from me." "What, what is it?" Gabrielle asks. I think you and I both know what Xena lost, but she has to spell it out for the concerned Bard. "The power to kill gods, Gabrielle...it's gone!" Aphrodite falls into a dead faint, as Gabrielle pulls Xena into a hug. Into the room marches Caligula, who saunters over to the love goddess, and intones, "I've been looking for you, Aphrodite," and kisses her. What a bizarre kiss...Ares described him as sucking her powers away, and that's what his mouth appears to do, until he finally pulls back revealing an arcing flame between Aphrodite's mouth and his.

Xena's seen all this and is in a wee bit of a snit. "No!" she yells, and kicks Caligula out of the way, but I think it's too late. "Your passion for me overrides your good sense," he tells Xena, "but I like that in a woman." Xena just watches him...she's breathing heavily and I swear I see a little steam coming out of her ears! Caligula ain't finished..."I will forgive your jealous outburst...because!" he somersalts across the room and does a Jim Carey Wannabe happy dance, "Whoo! Oh yeah, I feel good! Watch me!" And he disappears with the same sound effects Aphrodite normally has. After he vanishes, Xena and Gabrielle turn in unison and move to Aphrodite. "Gabrielle, I know we are like close, but is this appropriate?" she asks, as Gabs cups her head with her hands. Finally, she SOUNDS like the Aphrodite I know and love! Xena grins as Gabrielle asks, "Is that really you?" Aphrodite delivers her trademark laugh, as they help her stand, and says "Okay, Gabs, (hey, that's what I call her!) has anyone ever told you that you can be like a total ditz?" Gabs puts a hand out like, "what did I do to deserve this?" then grins fondly and forgets the insult. Hee hee! Xena wants to make sure, "Aphrodite, what do you think of Caligula?" "Ummm...nothing...Caligula, ewww!" Xena realizes the bond has been broken, but all Aphrodite wants to do is get them out of there. She tries to do the warp thing, but absolutely nothing happens. Xena has to break the bad news. "You can't, Aphrodite. Caligula is truly a god now."

Xena has made her way back to the prison and says in her best Warrior Princess command voice to the guard, "Open the door...leave us!" She hasn't even bothered to put her robe back on, but apparently, it didn't take long for the news of her rise to power to spread. Ares is back in his cell, and he has company...Eve. Hmmm...Ares hasn't bothered to put his shirt back on. Eve gives Xena a disgusted look then turns her head. "Eve" Xena whispers, but when Ares asks what's happened, she turns to him. "Aphrodite's got her mind back. but she's lost her immortality." Ares nods as if he's expecting it. "So he's a full god now," he says. Xena, master of understatement continues, "It gets worse...Eli has stripped me of my power to kill gods." Eve puts her head up to the bars, looking very sad as Xena adds, "I have no way of halting Caligula's madness." Ares soaks this in, then walks to the other side of the cell.

Xena turns to her daughter. "Eve, I'm sorry..." She tries to put a hand to Eve's face, but it's slapped away. "It wasn't the punch that hurt...you trampled right over the decision I had made." "I had to, Eve," Xena says, but Eve shakes her head. "No, you forget, Mother...it's my life...it's my death...it's my choice." Eve turns her back to Xena again. You know, I can't help thinking what Xena just did due to her anger at the thought of Michael trying to kill Eve...and as usual, I feel sorry for her. Xena gets tough though..."No, you forget...I am your mother...and I will die before I let him touch a hair on your head!" It occurs to me that Xena and Eve are very similar in regards to their stubborness. Eve turns back to Xena a little softer now. "You can't protect me from all the cruelty in the world forever, Mother." Xena's done a pretty good job thusfar, but she takes a step in, the sparks flying again..."Funny you should say that..." she whispers, closing in on her.

Xena, back in full robes and armour, mask firmly in place, rides a black horse into the square, half-dragging behind her a struggling Eve. This brings new meaning to the term "tough love"! Eve is tied to a post, as Xena watches on emotionless. Caligula walks in, eyeing Xena, as usual, and then going up close to Eve to sneer at her. Gabrielle is hovering in the background, watching the proceedings. Cali turns to his people, and I'm sorry, but the crowd scene looks really fake, "Citizens of Rome! You are here to witness a chariot race, celebrating the allegience between your god-emperor and his new queen, the goddess Sabah!" He holds his hand out, and Xena takes a step up to survey the cheering crowd. Some of those hairdos from the crowd are laughable. Caligula raises Xena's hand saying, "The victor of the race gets the right to kill...Eve of the Elijans...formerly Livia, the whore of Rome." Eve winces convincingly at that point, but Xena doesn't even bat an eyelash. She raises Caligula's hand this time, and declares, "Let it begin!!" The crows roars, as hands still joined, Xena and Cali step off the dais and each get on their appropriate chariot race. The flag is lowered, and they're off to the races! Cali tries to throw a few fireballs during the first part of the race, but has a lousy aim. "Still getting the hang of that!" The race goes on for a long time...through the city...and out onto an open course for a while. Caligula leads the whole way, with Xena close on his tail. She draws up even with him for a while, and he throws another fireball shouting, "Don't you just love this god stuff?" "Absolutely!" Xena calls back enthusiastically. More racing and then Caligula starts flicking his whip over at Xena. "Methinks (hee hee...I love that word!) my Lord enjoys his sport a little too much!" she tells him. "You got it, Babe!" he smiles back at her. Caligula pulls ahead again, and as they race back into the town, Xena once again overtakes him, and then finally passes him with that great victorious laugh of hers. She's in full command now, and forces Caligula's chariot to half-hit a ramp and unceremoniously crash, sending him flying. Xena watches his face slide into the dirt, then glances up at Eve and Gabrielle. Eve offers a weak smile, and then as Caligula picks himself up, Xena moves back onto the dais.

"Well, that was quite a race," Caligula says approaching the steps, dusting himself. "I guess you're going to be the one who spills the blood." He sounds quite petulant. "Yes, I've been waiting for this opportunity a long time," Xena answers. "Only it won't be her blood that's spilled today." She removes her mask, and gives him the full pissed off warrrior princess face. Apparently, some of the people in the crowd recognize her as a murmur goes up. I guess none of them were at the party earlier, because she wasn't recognized then. Gabrielle points a finger and announces, "That's Xena, the Warrior Princess!" Xena turns and tosses her helmet to Gabs.

"Xena?...Xena!" Caligula is giving the typical Roman emperor response. "I know that name...yes,Xena...Slayer of...gods!" Who said he wasn't quck to catch on? Xena helps him out, "Also known as Xena, mother of the girl you so charmingly called...Whore of Rome." She draws her sword...I guess she was paying attention earlier afterall! He's squirming already. He approaches hands outspread..."Perhaps we can renegotiate the exact terms of the prize..." he tries. Xena considers it...uh huh...sure, then says, "No." She kicks Cali back into the dirt and a chant arrises from the crowd, "Xena, Xena, Xena, Xena..." Gabs looks at the chanters, a pleased expression on her face. Xena approaches Cali, telling him the only thing she'll negotiate is what happens to him. He tries to raise a fireball, but she kicks it out of his hand. "Caligula, I've been killing gods for years, and you can hardly throw a fireball straight, so you gotta ask yourself... (Say it with me now...)...Do you feel lucky?" Oh, I so much wanted her to add "punk" but she didn't!!! Cali scrambles to her knees as the Xena chants get louder. He starts in on the crowd, reminding them he is their emperor and their god. "How dare you not give me the respect that I deserve! You are nothing. I allow you to worship me!" How come everytime a character on Xena starts a speech with "how dare you" something bad happens. In this case it's in the form of a little girl who throws a tomato into Cali's face, to the crowd's amusement.

Cali simpers back to Xena, who puts a head under her chin. "Oh, Caligula, I'm going to spare you the humiliation of dying on your knees." He slowly rises, pleading with her. "Listen to me," she continues, "Still you're going to have what you've always wanted...Your place amongst the Pantheon of the Roman gods. The way to start your new cult of blood...and with the ultimate act of bloodshed...the spilling of your own blood." He starts to whimper about the people thinkiog he's weak. Gabrielle starts to untie Eve, as Xena continues bluffing, "Don't listen to them...then prove to them you're not by killing yourself. If I kill you, then you're just another dead god. but if you were to kill yourself..." she hands him a dagger. I do believe with that covnincing expression of hers, I would have been convinced to do it myself at this point. Not really, but he's buying everything she's selling. He knows his name will live forever if he takes his own life. " She continues to encourage him, even smiling at him, and he stabs himself, then turns to the crowd, blood pouring from his mouth, and collapses. Xena looks down at him. "The only person in Rome who could kill Caligula...was Caligula" she says and walks away, Gabs and Eve at her heels.

Xena is staring into a burning flame, and Gabs approaches. They are both in their regular garb. Gabbers puts a hand to Xena's arm..."How are you feeling?" "Dirty...how should I feel?" Xena replies. "Xena, there was nothing you could do. He was evil," Gabrielle tells her. "No.." Xena answers, looking at her. "He was damaged. He wasn't evil." I suppose she's right to an extent...he seemed more like an delusional child than a conniving murderer, at least what I saw of him, but he was extremely dangerous.

"It's not there," comes a voice off-screen, and the camera pans to find a laid back Ares with Eve and Aphrodite sitting on either side. Aphrodite finally LOOKS like the Aphrodite I know...complete with pink nightie! She's still trying to warp, and is bemoaning her fate, repeating over and over again, "It's not fair." Ares doesn't even bat an eye, saying, "Welcome to my nightmare, Sis." She looks at Gabrielle, asking her if she really meant it when she called her a friend. Gabs gives her a wam, genuine smile..."Absolutely". "How cloyingly sentimental," Aphrodite responds, then breaks into a sincere grin of her own, "and very much appreciated." Xena's expression has softened. "All right, everyone," she says. "Let's get out of here." Eve stands first, and looks extremely pretty as she moves to put her arm around Xena. Gabs walks beside them, as the two former gods follow. Eve wants to know if Xena is sorry she lost her power to kill gods, but Xena tells her it just "makes life spicier." "Besides, I've still got my two greatest gifts, " Xena puts her other arm around Gabrielle, "and I have no intention of losing either of them." During that very sweet moment, Aphrodite and Ares exchange a couple of friendly pokes, then walk out behind the threesome, arms around each other.

The disclaimer? "Gabrielle's undercover disguise was extensively harmed during the making of this motion picture." I stil don't know what that means!

So that's it...the whole episode as I've seen it. A rather bizarre one on the whole, the first half had elements of Heart of Darkness but the second half got serious very, very fast. I can't help but wonder how long it will take the news that Xena can no longer kill gods to get out. And I still can't figure out why she seemed to regret tricking Caligula into his untimely death...especially after the carnage at the beginning of the episode. I saw little hope for redemption for him! But Eve came off looking very strong during this episode, and I liked what I saw of the relationship between her and Xena.


COMMENTARY 1 BY Beth the Gaynor
COMMENTARY 3 BY Josh Harrison


This is by Rob Fleming.

Damaged Little Boots. Caligula is never known by his real name "Germanicus." That belongs to his famous military commander father, who kept the Germans on their side of the Rhine. As a child -- Caligula, the word means "Little Boots" -- was named by his father's troops because he wore a soldier's boots made to fit.

Mentally ill -- that's why Xena refers to Caligula as "damaged" rather than evil -- he reigned briefly, only four years from 37 to 41 C.E. Personal excesses and arbitrary rule finally led to his assassination. Claudius (r. 41-54 C.E.) and the equally notorious Nero (r. 54-68 C.E.) succeded as emperor.

Robert Graves' books, "I, Claudius" and "Claudius the God" paint a decadent fictional portrait of Caligula's bloody principate. "I, Claudius" brought to life by Derek Jacoby in the BBC TV series, can be rented on video tape. A great ancient Roman soap opera -- even without Xena in it.


01-18-01. Alexandra Tydings on the The Beth Lapides Experience on Comedy World Internet Radio on December 20, 2000, stated that THE GOD YOU KNOW was the most exciting and rewarding episode ever for her. She mentioned how everyone seemed focused, committed, enjoying it, and having fun.

01-18-01. So much for ending the Christian Arc in HEART OF DARKNESS!

12-27-00. This episode apparently has an impressive chariot race.

12-27-00. Oops. Got it wrong. THE GOD YOU KNOW is where Aphrodite loses her powers, then in YOU ARE THERE is where Xena restores Ares and Aphrodite's powers by using a trick they learned up in the frozen north. The airing schedule for these episodes has been pushed back to April. That is tentative. The official site has them beginning the February sweeps week. The were originally planned to end the February sweeps week. Now it is on the table to air them during no sweeps week in April 2001. If Ares is in PATH OF VENGEANCE, TO HELICON AND BACK, the unnamed Joxer episode, or LAST OF THE CENTAURS, then they may have to reshoot. There are plans to do reshoots for THE GOD YOU KNOW and YOU ARE THERE in early January. If they are going to stick to the April date for THE GOD YOU KNOW and YOU ARE THERE, then they are going to have churn out the Joxer and CENTAURS episode at record speed. That will leave all of February and half of March to film the series ender (still seems to be two episodes), the musical, and FATES.

12-26-00. In THE GOD YOU KNOW, both Aphrodite and Ares are powerless and Xena must figure out a way to get immortality back for both of them in THE GOD YOU KNOW. You may not have see the last of the Norse gods!

12-26-00. Word has it that the episode THE GOD YOU KNOW has been removed from the February sweeps schedule. If it is aired in January, it will bump either OLD ARES HAS A FARM or Renee O'Connor's sophomore director's stint, DANGEROUS PREY. If it not aired earlier, then it will air in April before the May sweeps. THE GOD YOU KNOW was originally scheduled to end the February sweeps.

11-07-00. From TVGuide OnLine 10-27-00:

Alexis Vs. Xena!

He may not be Dynasty's Alexis Carrington, but Alexis Arquette strives to be fierce and fabulous in his own right. A scion of Hollywood's Arquette acting clan - which includes famous siblings David, Patricia and Rosanna - the actor has carved out a colorful career of his own with roles in flicks like Bride of Chucky and She's All That. Now, he means to cross swords with another campmeister, Lucy Lawless of Xena: The Warrior Princess.

"I'm going to New Zealand to do the final episodes of Xena," Arquette tells TV Guide Online. "My friend has been the director for years, and I said, 'you have got to get me on before they're done.' I love that show. It's so corny."

Reminiscent of Joaquin Phoenix's treacherous turn in Gladiator, Arquette will portray a debauched Roman emperor in two back-to-back episodes airing early next year. "I'm going to play Caligula," he previews. "It's the basic story, except the only spin the show pulls is that Claudius - the brother who takes over after Caligula's killed - has always been portrayed as retarded. On Xena, he's only acting like [that] so he won't get killed by me in an untimely way, and he can take over."

Fortunately, the raunchy role lends itself to Arquette's penchant for wacky wardrobe choices. "Well, Caligula's a big freak, so I'll be in drag for half of it," quips the actor, who's well known for his dragalicous doings in the L.A. club scene.

"I'm all about what was hip last year," he jokes of his fashion sense. "I'm total drag wear, so what I wear, women can't wear. If a girl sees me wearing something, she should stop wearing it, 'cause I'm all about tacky. I'm all about what the hookers and strippers wear." - Daniel R. Coleridge

Regardless of what Arquette said, these episodes, THE GOD YOU KNOW and YOU ARE THERE are NOT the season enders as this interview would lead you to believe. There is a very good possibility that these episodes will close out the 2nd airing period covering the February sweeps time. Eve will be appearing in both these episodes and Aphrodite maybe appearing in one or both. Ares has been rumored to be in them as well.


These things are by Beth Gaynor.

Michael says that Caligula killed Tiberius to gain the throne. What happened to Octavius?

Check out the guy that Caligula has stab him in the gut - when did Keanu Reeves agree to do a cameo on Xena?

Nice hat wiggle from Gabrielle when Caligula shoves her out of the way!

The scene when Xena convinced Caligula that he wants to kill Eve publicly had a couple of bad cuts in it. The most noticeable was when Caligula gets the idea and spins around to a sound effect - and completely different lighting.

The chariot race was very cool, don't get me wrong. It was an excellent action sequence. But it also provided a few hilarious sights. Watch Xena's horses: at the beginning and end of the race, she has a black horse on her left and a brown horse on her right. During the race, the horses switch position about a dozen times. Also, the race produces some remarkable changes in Xena and Caligula. Caligula gets bulkier and his hair turns curly. Xena also bulks up and, I believe, turns male in a few shots.


02-15-01. Jason Boaz. In the chariot scene, near the end of the episode, I heard music that I'm certain was originally used in the "Young Hercules" series. And, speaking of music from Hercules, in the final scene, where Xena was walking out with Eve and Gabrielle at both sides, I heard a piece of music from "Hercules; The Legendary Journeys."


Click here to read a transcript of THE GOD YOU KNOW.


Gabrielle's undercover disguise was extensively harmed during the making of this motion picture.

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