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“The Festival of Dionysus”  Episode 04/104


[Camilla:  “Wake up.  Iphicles!”]  

Camilla:  [Screams]

Iphicles [Iph]:  “What’s wrong?  What is it?”

Camilla:  “You must cancel the festival.”

Iph:  “I can’t.  You know that.”

Camilla:  “Well, I-- I’ve-I’ve just had the most terrible dream.
I-- I saw the virgins.  They came for us.  You must cancel the
festival-- or you’ll die.”

Iph:  “Shhhh-- my love.  It was just a dream.  Lie down and go
back to sleep.”


Nestor:  “Mother?  Is something wrong?”

Camilla:  “I need you to do something for me.”


Goudrin:  “Hmm.”


Satyr Twin:  “Pay up, old man.”

Old man:  “But, that’s all the money I have.”

Satyr Twin:  “Too bad.  A challenge is a challenge, and ya lost.”

Old man:  “But there’s no way I could’ve beat you.”

Satyr Twin:  “You should’ve thought of that!  Before you made the
bid!  Give me the money!”

H:  “Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?”

Satyr Twin:  “Fine.”

H:  “This isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”

Satyr Twin:  “Save the excuses.  First one to drop, loses.”



Satyr Twin:  “We’re just gettin’ started, friend.  No-- we’ll
take turns.  That way, I’ll make sure you don’t cheat.  [Guzzles
drink, then exhales]  Now-- your turn.”  [Trades places with his

Old Man:  “So, that’s how he beat me.”

Satyr Twin:  “You snitch-- you’ll die.”

Satyr Twin:  [Belches]

H:  “You know  [Belches]-- excuse me.  I’m-- I’m not normally
much-- of a drinker.  I feel like I’ve had twice as many as you.”

Satyr Twin:  “Huh-- gotta hand it to ya.  Ya hung in longer than
anyone we’ve ever faced.”

H:  “We?”

Satyr Twin:  “Huh?  Uh, I mean, ‘Me.’”

H:  “Oh.  Wait a minute.  Wait a minute.  There are two of you.”

Satyr Twins:  “Nah-- you’re just drunk.   That’s all.
Double-vision.  There’s only one of us.”

H:  “Only one of you.”

Satyr Twins:  “Yeah.”

H:  “Double Vision.”

Satyr Twins:  “Yeah, yeah.”

H:  “Oh.  Well-- in that case-- I better putcha back together

Satyr Twins:  “Let’s get outta here!”  “See ya later, sucker!”

Man:  “Hey, that’s my friend!”


Satyr Twins [Laugh]:  “Yeah.”

H:  “Hey.  Come on, you guys.  Break it up.”

Man’s Voice:  “Get your foot out of my mouth.”

A Man’s Voice:  “That’s not my foot!”

H:  “Ooh, I will never-- drink-- again.”

Nestor:  “Hercules!  I have to find Hercules.  I was told he was
here.  Hercules?”

H [Sighs]:  “Yeah.”

Nestor:  “Look, I need to talk-- ”

H:  “Sh-- not so loud.”

H [Shortly thereafter]:  “So-- what is this stuff, anyway?”

Nestor:  “It’s called coffee.  My father just started importing
it from the East?  We’re the only kingdom in all the land that
has it.”

H:  “No offense, but-- this isn’t somethin’ to brag about.  So
[Clears throat]-- what’s your problem, exactly.”

Nestor:  “I don’t know-- exactly.”

H:  “Well, then-- what’s your problem, vaguely?”

Nestor:  “Mmm, I don’t know that, either.  My mother didn’t say.
She only told me to invite you to the festival of Dionysus?
And-- well, not to take, ‘No’ for an answer.”

H:  “Look-- the truth is, I’m not real big on celebrating the
gods-- especially the god of wine.”

Nestor:  “But, it’s a royal invitation.  My mother is Queen

H:  “That’s funny.  I never would’ve guessed you’re a prince.
All the same, I-- I have to decline.”

Nestor:  “You don’t understand.  I think somethin’ is gonna
happen at the festival-- somethin’ bad.  Please, Hercules.  It’s
the first time my mother has ever asked me to do anything.  I
can’t let her down.”

H:  “A festival for Dionysus, huh?  Ah, I guess that old lush
isn’t as bad as most of the gods.  Besides-- maybe someone there
will have advice on hangovers.  So, what goes on at this

Nestor:  “Basically-- we pray to Dionysus to bless the new wine--
then everyone drinks!  You don’t _have_ to drink, Hercules.  Only
the virgins have to drink.”


Priest:  “For over a thousand years, Dionysus has watched over
Meliad.  And each year, we have celebrated with this holy
festival.  Now, you have been selected-- to play its most sacred
role.  Tonight, when the moon reaches its full height-- the new
wine will flow over your lips-- and with it-- Dionysus himself.
Then, you will know his will-- either to confirm King Iphicles’
reign, or-- to end it.  If you must _spill_ the king’s blood,
don’t think-- ”

Pentheus [Penth]:  “All right, good priest.  There’s no point in
scaring these pretty girls.  Let them go and enjoy their

Priest:  “I-I-I-I’m telling them the law!”

Penth:  “Yes, we all know.  But, there’s no doubt, this festival
will only confirm my father for another year.  Go-- be bathed--
be oiled and perfumed.  Let my servants fuss and fawn over you
while you prepare for tonight.”

Marissa:  “Pentheus, have you seen Nestor?  I thought he was
supposed to be here.”

Penth:  “Well, you know my brother-- he’s rarely _where_ he’s
supposed to be when he’s supposed to be there.  I wouldn’t

Goudrin:  “I need a word with you, my lord.  I saw that runt
brother of yours leaving the city last night.”

Penth:  “Hmm-- well, that’s Nestor’s loss, isn’t it?  He’s gonna
miss quite a festival.  Hmm.”


Nestor:  “Tell me about your adventures, Hercules.  Danger around
every corner?  Death up every tree?”

H:  “Sometimes-- not usually up a tree, though.”

Nestor:  “I’ve always wanted to be a hero-- killing monsters--
fighting all sorts of battles.”

H:  “Well, believe me-- battles and killing make better stories
than they do memories.  Besides, your time will come.  It’s
Prince Nestor, now.  Someday, it’ll be ‘King Nestor.’”

Nestor:  “Me?  Nawww.  That’s for my older brother, Pentheus.
_He’s_ the heir to the throne.”

H:  “Ah, well, that’s just as well.  You know what they say about

Nestor:  “No-- what?”

H:  “Well, that it corrupts-- makes men into demons.”

Nestor:  “Not in Meliad, it doesn’t.  My father’s a great man.
He’s ruled for twenty-five years.  He abolished slavery.  No one
goes hungry.  He put an end to all the wars.  You’d have to look
pretty hard to even find a sword left in our city.”

H:  “Well, then I hope the people in Meliad know how lucky they
are to have him.”

Nestor:  “They do.”


Penth:  “Long live the king.”

Iph:  “Ah-ha-ha!  There you are!  How’s the festival?”

Penth:  “Just getting underway.  Uh-- your subjects certainly
don’t need much encouragement to start celebrating.”

Iph [Chuckles]:  “Good, good, good.  As long as you’re here,
there is something I want to talk to you about.  With each
festival comes the chance that-- my reign might end.  When the
sun rises on Meliad tomorrow, you may be the new king.”

Penth:  “Father, please.  We go through this every year.  You’re
as morbid as that old priest of yours.”

Iph:  “Still, I want you to listen to what I have to say-- it’s
important.  It’s not that difficult being a good king.  Just--
rule with your heart.  Govern with kindness, kindness.  Never,
never, never with anger.  Our kingdom deserves nothing less.”

Penth:  “I’ll remember that.  And many, _many_ years from now,
when the time finally comes-- I’ll put it to use.”

Iph:  “Then, my son, you will honor my memory.”


H:  “So, this is your festival, huh?”

Nestor:  “Part of it.  The real fun doesn’t start until tonight.”

H:  “What are we supposed to do until then?”

Nestor:  “Go mingle.”

H:  “Mingle?”

Nestor:  “Yeah.  Oh, but keep a low profile-- ‘cause my mother
doesn’t want anyone to know you’re here.  So, whatever you do,
don’t do anything _you’d_ do-- you know-- if you were you.  See

H:  “Go-- mingle.”

Man:  “Uh!  Ah, sorry.”

H:  “Yeah-- very talented.”


Penth:  “Nestor-- where have you been?  We missed you at the
gathering of the virgins.”

Nestor:  “Oh [giggles]-- well, hi, Pentheus.  Uh-- I’ve been

Penth:  “Really?  I dropped by your room last night, and you
weren’t there.”

Nestor:  “Oh-- well-- uh-- well, I couldn’t sleep-- so I took a
little walk.”

Penth:  “A _little_ walk.  Goudrin said he saw you leaving the

Nestor:  “He did?  Oh-- well-- I-- uh-- hey, did you get a
haircut?  It looks good.”

Marissa:  “Nestor!  Nestor, up here!  Guess what?  I’ve been
chosen to lead the maidens.”

Nestor:  “Well, that’s great!”

Penth:  “You must be very proud.  After all, Mother was lead
maiden twenty-five years ago.”

Nestor:  “I’ll see ya after the ceremony.”

Marissa:  “I’ll think about you every minute until then.”

Penth [Chuckles]:  “Funny, isn’t it?  Things go bad for Father,
and I become king-- your girlfriend becomes my bride.”

Nestor:  “What are you sayin’?”

Penth:  “Oh, nothing, Nestor.  Relax.  Everything’s gonna be all


Phegus:  “Sure, I did Hercules.”

Man:  “Phegus, you’re lyin’.  You never defeated Hercules.”

Phegus:  “I sure did.  Why, I wiped the _streets_ with him.  I
had him beggin’ for mercy!  Hey-- he had more mama’s blood in him
than Zeus!”

H [Aside]:  “Keep a low profile.”

Phegus:  “First, I got Hercules’ attention.  Then-- I introduced
myself.  And then I said, ‘Nighty-night, he-man.’  Buddy-- you’ve
just bought yourself a whole heap of trouble!”

H:  “No trouble at all.  When they wake up-- tell them they’re
lucky I wasn’t Hercules.  Come on, friend-- let’s get you some
fresh air.”

Goudrin:  “Hmm.”


H:  “Are you OK?”

Se’er:  “No, Hercules, I am _not_ OK!  Not now!”

H:  “I can’t believe this.  You’re the last person I expected to

Se’er:  “And you’re the last person I _wanted_ to see!  You’ll
try and stop all the bloodshed!”



H:  “Bloodshed-- what bloodshed?”

Se’er:  “Oh, ahhhh-- ah, nothin’.  Forget I said anything.
Always a pleasure, Hercules.  See ya around.  Oh-- I should’ve
seen him coming.  Oh-- of all the times for my visionary powers
to cloud over, why now?  Doom at the festival.  Aww-- I knew it
was too good to be true.”

H:  “‘Doom?’”

Se’er:  “Ah-- I-I- said, ‘Room.’  I-I need a room at the
festival.  Ah-- you don’t know any inns that’re offering
discounts to the elderly, do you?  I mean, an old guy like me.”

H:  “You said, ‘Doom.’  Now, tell me what’s going on.  I thought
this-- festival was just a celebration.  They bless the new wine.
Everyone gets drunk.  No big deal.”

Se’er:  “It is if Dionysus wants the king to _rule_ for another

H:  “And, if he doesn’t?”

Se’er:  “Wellll, then-- the festival becomes _my_ kind of bash!
Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!  The new wine drives the maidens into a
_murderous_ frenzy, and they slaughter the king!  [Laughs]  Aw,
it’s fantasic!-- especially for the prince.  When the king dies,
the maidens crown a new king with a night of UNBRIDLED PASSION!
[Laughs]  Ah, girls-- wine, murder, mayhem!  [Laughs]  What more
d’you want?”

H:  “But-- all I’ve heard is what a great king Iphicles is.  If
that’s true-- there shouldn’t be anything to worry about--

Se’er:  “Oh, su-sure-- a-a-ab-- absolutely.”

H:  “But, then-- why would you be here?  You better tell me
what’s going on.”

Man’s Voice [In background]:  “Here, you go!”

H:  “Come on!  Spit it out!  I want to know what you’re seeing in
the future, and I want to know, now.  Don’t-- let this get ugly.”

Nestor:  “Oop.  Hi.  My mother wants to see you.  Come on.  I’ll
lead the way.”

H:  “Well.  Looks like I’ll find out anyway.”

Se’er:  “Why can’t you leave things alone?!  Why must ya always
spoil things?!”

Nestor:  “Here-- we’re goin’ into the palace.  We can’t have
anyone seeing you in there.”

H:  “Nestor-- you’re driving me crazy with all this mystery.  I
need to know what’s going on.”

Nestor:  “You’ll know soon enough!  Here.  Just put it on--


Marissa:  “Oh, Nestor, you naughty boy.”

Penth:  “Surprise.  My brother said you liked roses.”

Marissa:  “Thank you.  It’s lovely.”

Penth:  “Nestor’s lucky to have a girl like you.  How come you
and I have never taken the time to get to know each other

Marissa:  “Pentheus, I don’t think you should be in here.”

Penth:  “Don’t worry.  We won’t get in any trouble.  It’s one of
the benefits of bein’ a prince.  I pretty much have run of the
palace-- the whole kingdom, for that matter.  Although-- there
are some-- secret places I haven’t been.”

Marissa:  [Slaps Penth’s face, then runs away]

Penth:  “Ya got fire, too.  I bet Nestor has no idea.”


Camilla:  “I’m sorry, Hercules.  I wish I had more to tell.  But
at least, now you understand why there had to be so much secrecy.
If anyone in the kingdom knew that I had called you here, they
would think that I was trying to deny Dionysus’ will-- and I’d
never do that.  If it truly is my husband’s time to go, then I
must abide by that-- but it just can’t be.  He is the finest king
that Meliad ever had.  It’s not his time to die.  Nightmares--
feelings of gloom-- huh!  Maybe, there’s nothing wrong at all.
Maybe, I’m just being silly.”

H:  “No-- you’re not being silly.  I ran into an old friend of
mine a little while ago.  It’s-- a long story, but if he’s here--
there’s a good chance trouble’s here, too.”


Penth:  “Almighty Ares-- god of war-- all my life, I’ve watched
my father’s feeble rule squander Meliad’s power; our once-mighty
armies, dismantled; our weapons, corroded by neglect-- all in the
name of peace, and the wine idol, Dionysus.  But tonight-- with
your help, by your plan, everything will change.  Tomorrow-- I
will be Meliad’s new king-- and you, Ares, will be her god.  A
new era will begin; nations conquered; peoples enslaved-- ”

Goudrin:  “Real warriors will rule again.”

Penth:  “What are you doing here?  You know not to interrupt my

Goudrin:  “I’m sorry, my lord.  There’s a stranger in our city.
I think he could be a problem.”

Penth:  “Then find him and solve it.”

Goudrin:  “Just what I wanted to hear.”


Nestor:  “I don’t understand.  She should be here-- they all

H:  “Doesn’t look like they’ve been gone for very long.”

Nestor:  “Well-- where are they now, Hercules?”

Goudrin:  “Hercules, huh?  So, _that’s_ who you are.  Welcome to
the festival.  Too bad you won’t live to see any of it.”

Nestor:  “Oh, it’s OK, Goudrin.  Hercules was invited here.  I
know-- ”

Goudrin:  “You know nothing, runt!”


Goudrin [Screams]:  “Get him!”

H:  “Nestor!  Do you have any idea what you’re doing?!”

Nestor:  “None, whatsoever!”

H:  “Great.  I don’t think you’re showin’ the prince the proper
respect.  You stand back while your men fight?  I call that--

Goudrin:  “Yeah?  I call that smart.  After all-- you _are_

H:  “If you really are smart-- you’ll tell me what I want to

Nestor:  [Screams]

H:  “Nestor!  Hang on!  Here!  Give me your hand!”

Nestor:  “Hercules!”

Goudrin:  “As long as you’re givin’ out hands-- how ‘bout one for

Nestor:   [Screams]



H:  “That’s it.  No way out but the way we came in.  And I can’t
reach it.  You wouldn’t-- know of any secret passage, would you?”

Nestor:  “I don’t even know where we are.  My father never told
me about the dungeon.”

Penth:  “That’s because he doesn’t know about it-- just one of
the many improvements I’ve made around here.”

Nestor:  “Pentheus!  Thank God!  Get us outta here!  Goudrin’s
lost his mind!  He tried ta-- ”

Penth:  “Tried to what?!  Kill you?!”

Nestor:  “But-- but why, Pentheus?  It doesn’t make any sense.”

Penth:  “It makes perfect sense.  If you were a man of power,
you’d know why.  I bet Hercules knows-- don’t you?”

H:  “Yeah-- you’re a power-hungry rat who wants a throne that’s
not rightfully yours.”

Penth:  “It _is_ rightfully mine!  And tonight, the maidens are
gonna do away with my father and crown me to take his place!”

Nestor:  “But you can’t control the maidens-- only the wine
controls them.”

Penth:  “What if I control the wine?”

H:  “That’s where I come in.  I make sure you don’t.”

Penth:  “From down there?  [Laughs]  I don’t think so.  Now-- if
you’ll excuse me, as you can imagine, I’m pretty busy.  Oh, and
Nestor-- don’t worry about Marissa.  I’m sure she’ll make a
wonderful queen.  Goudrin?”

Nestor:  “Pentheus!  Pentheus!  Pentheus!  I can’t believe it--
my own brother.”

H:  “Yeah well, right now, we’ve got something even slimier than
Pentheus to worry about.  Nestor!”

Nestor:  “Hercules!”


Green Man:  “Thanks.”

Priest:  “Put that one over there!”

Another Man’s Voice:  “The new wine!  I can’t wait!”

Priest:  “And that one over there!”


Nestor [Gasping]:  “I think I killed it!”

H:  “Then-- what’re ya doing up there?!”

Nestor:  “Sorry.  You see?  It pulled me under, and then I
started punchin’ it, and then it wrapped itself around me, so I
just kept on punchin’ it, and punchin’ it, and pu-- ”

H:  “Nestor-- hold that thought, would you?”


Priest:  “Easy!  Easy!  The new wine is precious!  Subtle, yet


Priest:  “Line the moonbeam-- so that the great god, Dionysus,
may enter the wine.”

Camilla’s Voice:  “You look beautiful, Marissa.”

Marissa:  “Queen Camilla.”

Camilla:  “I was in your place, once.  That’s how I became

Marissa:  “But, shouldn’t you be at the palace?  What’re ya doin’

Camilla:  “Don’t kill him.”

Marissa:  “What?”

Camilla:  “Something’s wrong-- 25 years, I’ve never had such an
awful feeling.”

Marissa:  “Aw-- everything’s gonna be fine, your Highness.  You
don’t have to worry.  It’s starting-- I have to go.”

Camilla:  “Please, Marissa-- don’t kill my husband.”


H:  “Prince Nestor-- your stairs await.”


Priest’s Voice:  “The time is drawing near!  The moon is almost
touching the wine!”


H:  “Come on, Nestor!  Hurry up!”

Se’er:  “Oh-oh!  Walk on your own feet, will ya?!  A guy my age
can’t afford to break any bones!  Holy Zeus!  Can’t I go anywhere
without bumping into you?!”

H:  “I was about to say the same thing.”

Se’er:  “Huh?”

H:  “Which way to the ceremony?”

Nestor:  “This way.”

H:  “All right-- let’s go.  Not that way-- this way.”

Soldier:  “A number of years.”

H:  “That way’s not so good.”

Se’er:  “Ha-ha!  At last!  A little bloodshed!”

Soldiers’ Voices:  “Hey!  That was Hercules!”  “After him!”
“Where’d he go?!”  “Look there!”  “Come here!”  “This way!”

H:  “In there!”

Soldiers’ Voices:  “He went this way!”  “No!  Down here!”


H:  “You two, again.”

Man:  “Ah!  There!  Sixteen!  Ya gotta drop on this one.”

Satyr Twin:  “Ah-- I think you’re right.  I’m feelin’ awfully

H:  “As woozy as your brother is?”

Man:  “Two a’ ya?!  And-- and you!  I’m gonna kill _all_ a’ ya!”

Satyr Twin:  “How ya doin’-- Hercules?!”

H:  “Oh, I’m gonna be great, once you two do me a favor.”


Soldier:  “Check the tavern!”


Soldier’s Voice:  “Let’s let no one escape!”

Satyr Twin:  “We know you’re lookin’ for Hercules.  But guess
what?  You found us.  After you, Cletus.”

Cletus:  “No, I insist-- after you.”

Satyr Twin:  “Boys?!  Food fight!”

Woman’s Voice:  “Excuse me!”

H:  “Thanks.”

Satyr Twins:  “Yeah.  Yeah.”


Camilla:  “I hate those dreadful things.  Do they really have to
be here?”

Iph:  “Camiller, if it’s the will of Dionysus-- ”

Camilla:  “Surely, he can’t be blind to everything you’ve

Iph:  “Then we have nothing to worry about.”

Camilla:  “But, what if we do?”

Iph:  “Then, my love, we’ll go.  If it’s Pentheus’ turn, he’ll
make a great king.  The end for one becomes the beginning for

Camilla:  “I know.”

Iph:  “Here-- drink the last of the old wine-- and let us face
this together.”


Man’s Voice:  “Look!  The virgins!”

Priest:  “Good people of Meliad!  Let me welcome you to the most
sacred event in the festival of Dionysus-- the opening of the new

Man’s Voice:  “Don’t miss it all!”

Priest:  “Soon, you shall taste the sweetness of the harvest!
But first-- it must be consecrated by the lips of the innocent!”

H:  “Ares, you stinking coward.  I should’ve known you’d be
behind this.”

Priest:  “Now, maidens, raise your glasses!  Give yourselves over
to Dionysus!”

Men’s Voices:  “Drink!  Drink!  [Etc.]”

H:  “No, stop!  Don’t drink that wine!  It’s been poisoned by
Ares!  No!  Stop!  Stop!”

Se’er:  [Laughs]



Nestor:  “Oh, Hercules, what’re we gonna do?!”

H:  “Stop!  Put them down!”

Nestor:  “Oh, no!  It’s too late!”

H:  “No, it’s not.  We know where they’re going.  You do what you
can to stall ‘em.  I’m heading to the palace.  Keep them away
from the wine.  We’ll have blood running in the streets.”

Se’er:  “You talk as though that’s a bad thing!”

H:  “Just keep them away from it!”

Se’er:  “Well, I’m not takin’ the blame!  They can blame
Hercules!  That’s who they can blame!  Hercules!”


Goudrin:  “It won’t be long now, my lord.”

Penth:  “You said Hercules was dead.”

Goudrin:  “I thought he was.”

Penth:  “Well, you thought wrong.  I didn’t come this far to fail
now.  Find him and kill him.”


Iph:  “Whatever happens, Camilla-- know one thing-- I love you
with all my heart.”


Goudrin:  “Well, well, well-- look who’s still drawring breath.”

H:  “Yeah-- I like it that way.”

Goudrin:  “So do I-- now, I get to hear you scream.”


H:  “So, Ares.  This is where you’ve been hiding.”


Nestor:  “Hold it!  All of you!”

Marissa:  “Nestor, my love-- it’s so good to see you.”

Nestor:  “Oh, please, ya have to stop!”

Marissa:  “We can’t stop, now.  We’re on our way to kill the
king.  Now, to the palace.”


H:  “You really ought to learn-- when to call it quits!”

Goudrin:  “That won’t do ya any good.  They drank Ares with the
wine.  He’s already inside them-- controlling them.  There’s
nothin’ you can do.”  [Laughs]

H:  “I’ll think of something.”


Se’er:  “Get away from there!   Bar’s closed!  Scram!  Shoo!  I’m
warning you infidels-- I’m not kidding when I’m riled!”  [Laughs]


Iph:  “What’s the-- ?”

H:  “Don’t be alarmed, your Highness-- I’m Hercules.”

Iph:  “I don’t care _who_ you are!  Get out of here, before you
defile this ceremony!”

Camilla:  “He’s here to help us, Iphicles.”

H:  “The ceremony has already been defiled-- by the people trying
to murder you.”

Camilla:  “Listen to him.”

Iph:  “No, no, he’s the one who should listen.  You may not agree
with our customs-- but if this is Dionysus’ will-- ”

H:  “What if it’s not?  What if it’s Ares’ will?”

[Woman’s screams]


Penth’s Voice:  “My father’s blood-- at last.”

Penth:  “Now comes the best part.  Welcome, ladies.  Long live
the-- .  You’re dead.  You’re dead!  I saw your blood!  I saw the
blood.  I saw it!”

Iph’s Voice:  “Pentheus!”

Penth:  “It was wine, not blood!”

Nestor:  “Bad news, Pentheus-- your little brother’s not the
weakling you thought he was.”

Penth:  “Ares-- you must help me.”


H:  “Here you go, your Highness.  I believe this is yours.”

Penth [Voice altered]:  “Not if I have anything to say about it.
Ares is in my veins.  There’s not one of you here who can stand
in my way.”

Iph:  “Pentheus, I command you-- ”

Penth [Voice altered/Interrupting]:  “Shut up, you pathetic old
man.  If you had been a real king, this wouldn’t be necessary.
Now-- I want what’s rightfully mine.”

H:  “I’ve got that, right here.”

Penth [Voice altered/Laughs]:  “You’re gonna have to do a lot
better than that.”


Penth [Voice altered]:  “You can’t stop the god of war.”

H:  “Watch me.”

Penth:  [Screams]


Se’er:  “Go on!  Get out!  Vamoose!  Scram!  Ain’t you people got
homes!  Look, it’s not my idea!  If it were up to me, I’d be
filling goblets and-- watching you idiots drop like flies!”

H:  “Everything’s OK!  Let them drink the wine!”

Se’er:  “Ah-- that’s it!  Ah!  My good deed for the decade is


Marissa:  “Nestor.”

Nestor:  “Oh, Marissa.”


Camilla:  “We owe you a great thanks, Hercules.  You saved my
husband.  You saved all of Meliad.”

H:  “I only did what you asked of me.”

Iph:  “You were right all along, Camilla.  I should’ve trusted

Nestor:  “Thank you, Hercules.”

H:  “You’re welcome.  Maybe I’ll drop by in a few years, and see
if you need a hand with anything.”

Nestor:  “Well, Pentheus might.  He’ll probably still be cleanin’
up that dungeon.”

H:  “Is that what you did with him?  [Laughing]  That’s good.

Nestor:  “Good luck, Hercules.”

Marissa:  “Bye.”

H [Sighs]:  “No.  [Chuckles]  You are not coming with me.”

Se’er:  “Oh-ho!  You bet I am!  Ha-ha.  Everyone in this city’s
now so happy, it makes me sick!  No offense, your Highness!”

Iph:  [Laughs]

Se’er:  “Thought I’d tag along with you for a few days.  Knowing
you, we’re bound to run into something terrible.  Ah-- ha-ha-ha.
Make that _definitely_ run into something terrible.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!  How’d you feel about a monster with more than
one head?  Hope you’re not squeamish.”  [Laughs]

H:  “I think I’m getting my headache back.”

Se’er:  “Oh!  Ah!  It’s just as well!  I brought this goatskin
full of wine!  A little bit of the hair of the dog that bit’cha,
huh?!  I-I got some-- got some pork rinds to go with it!  Or, how
‘bout some fish, huh?  Or, garlic toads as well.  Hm-hmm.  Stick
to your ribs like dung to a loincloth.”


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