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“Cast A Giant Shadow”  Episode 23/210


Maceus [Mac]:  “Wine for my warriors!”

Pylon [Py]:  “And women!”

Mac:  “Anything they want!”

Old Man:  “You heard him!  Hop to it!  Hop to it!  Great to see
you again, Maceus!  Always an honor to have you grace my
establishment.  The way we’ve been hearin’ it, there’s not a
fightin’ force in the whole of _Thrace_-- that could stand up to

Man’s Voice:  “Stupid barbarian!”

Mac:  “The killing was good!”

Old Man:  “Oh, they’re gonna be writin’ stories about you in the
future.  That’s what they’re gonna be doin’.”

Mac [Interrupting]:  “Where is he?”

Old Man:  “You didn’t hear?”

Mac:  “Hear what?!”

Old Man:  “Demetrius-- is dead.”

Py:  “What’s that the little man said?”

Mac:  “It better be a joke.  Sump’in’ [sic] crazy Demetrius put
you up to?!”

Old Man:  “Oh, I was it was-- I truly do, but-- I’m afraid
your-- your brother really has-- gone over to the other side.
I’m sorry!”

Mac:  “Spare me your sorrow.  I wanna know how it happened!”

Old Man:  “Hercules defeated him-- that’s who it was!  Down in
the cave-- where Echidna lives.  Demetrius and Hercules went
_in_-- mm-mm-mm-- but only Hercules came back.”

Mac:  “Too bad for him-- ‘cause I’m gonna cut his heart out!”


Typhon [Ty]:  “Who’s there?!  Uh-- pardon me, but-- I’m stuck!
Wanna be the one to set me free?  Just a little-- kindness is
all I’m asking.  I’ve been here so long.  Oh-- uh-- you’re not
going to hurt me, are you?”

H:  “It never entered my mind.”

Ty:  “And you won’t laugh at me or call me names, either?”

H:  “No.  Why would I do that?”

Ty:  “Well, that’s what all the other travellers who stopped
here did.”

H:  “The sign of Hera usually brings out the evil in people--
but I’d rather bend the old witch out of shape.”

Ty:  “You called Hera an old witch?”

H:  “Yes, I was-- being kind.”

Ty:  “Whoa!  Wow!  I don’t believe it!”

H:  “Uh, that’s OK-- most people don’t.”

Ty:  “This is great!  I mean, nobody ever said I was graceful--
but it feels so good to get around like a normal human being
again!  Ha-ha-ha!  But-- you know what?  I haven’t thanked you
yet.  I don’t even know your name.”

H:  “Hercules.”

Ty:  “Well, I’m Typhon-- and I don’t know how I’ll ever be able
to pay you back.”

H:  “Don’t worry about it.  Just-- try to stay out of Hera’s

Ty:  “Oh, that’s not enough-- I wanna do something nice for you,
Hercules-- come on, please?”

H:  “Look, Typhon I really-- can’t think of anything.”

Ty:  “Hmm.  Ohh.”

H:  “But I-- have to meet a friend in Plinth, if you’d-- like to
walk with me.”

Typhon:  “Great!  Whoa!  I’m OK.  I’m OK.” 



Mac:  “I need directions.”

I:  “Yeah?  Well, I got a direction for you, friend.  Drop

Mac:  “You can do better than that.  You see, the directions I
need are very special.  I wanna know where Hercules is.”

I:  “Never heard of him.”

Mac:  “Why don’t we find out for sure?”

I:  “What’s this-- your Greek chorus?”

Mac:  “No, my truth squad.”

I:  “Huh.  Hi, guys.”


Ty [Sighs]:  “This is even nicer than I remembered!  So much
_room_ to run around, looking at flowers-- trying to catch
butterflies.  Ah, this is what I’ve been dreamin’ about.”

H:  “Typhon, how long did Hera have you trapped in that rock?”

Ty:  “Uh-- a hundred and one years, seven months, fifteen days,
and-- I don’t know how many hours.  Hera never let me have an

H:  “It’s typical.  Why was she so mad at you?”

Ty:  “Because of my wife.  Hera wanted her to do bad things,
but-- she was always happy when I was around.  Hey!  Wanna race
to Plinth?!”

H:  “I-are you sure you’re ready for that?”

Ty:  “You bet I am!  Come on!  Whoa!  Whoa!  Whoa!”

H:  “What do you say we just-- walk?”

Ty:  “OK.”


Child’s Voice:  “Oh, yeah.  We will.  We’re gonna get you!”

H [Interrupting]:  “Here we are, Typhon.  Welcome to Plinth.”

Ty:  “Boy, this place has really _grown_ since the last time I
was here.”

H:  “Really?”

Ty:  “Yeah.  Hey, look-- somebody threw a kite on top of that

H:  “Uh-- ”

Ty:  “Sorry.”

Man’s Voice:  “It’s a giant!”

Woman’s Voice:  “He’s going to kill us all!”

Ty:  “Wait!  Don’t run away!  Do something, Hercules.”

A Man’s Voice:  “Run for your lives!”

H:  “I’ll try!  Wait!  There’s no danger!  Wait!”

Breanna [Br]:  “Get out of our way!”

Septus [Sept]:  “If that giant needs someone to satisfy his
bloodlust-- it can be me!  Let my daughter go!”

H:  “You’re both going to be fine.”

Sept:  “Huh!”

Br:  “Oh, Papa!”

Sept:  “I’m not afraid a’ you!”

Ty:  “I don’t wan’chou to be afraid of me.  I wan’chou to be my

H:  “He means it.”

Ty:  “With all my heart.  Here you go, little fella.”

Boy:  “Thank you.”


Mac:  “How’s that tongue of yours now?  Loose yet?”

I:  “Oh, no.  You’re gonna have to hit me a lot harder than

Py:  “Like that?”

I:  “Yeah-- that’s a little better.”

Mac:  “Enough games.  Remember Demetrius?  He was my brother--
and Hercules-- killed him.”

I:  “Ahhhhh!  No.”

Mac:  “Where’s that smart mouth of yours now, huh?”

I:  “No-- no.  Stop, stop.”

Mac:  “Not until ya tell me where Hercules is.  Come on!  Talk.”

I:  “He’s in-- Hellespont.”

Mac:  “Put him back together for the road.”


Child’s Voice:  “Typhon!”

Ty:  “Whoa!  Wait, wait.  No tickling.  Hey, Hercules-- tell ‘em
to play fair.”

H:  “No, I wouldn’t wanna spoil your fun.”

Ty:  “Playing with these little rascals makes me think of my own

H:  “You’re a father?  Uh-- it’s the best feeling in the world,
isn’t it?”

Ty:  “Especially when you’re gettin’ tickled.  [Laughs]  Hey--
what’re you doin’ down there?!”

Br:  “Hercules-- it looks like I owe you and your friend an
apology.  He really is a nice man, isn’t he?”

H:  “Most people are if you-- give ‘em a chance.”
Br:  “Oh, I’m sorry if we seemed short on hospitality-- but this
village has seen some rough times lately.  A bad harvest-- and a
hard winter and-- always bandits of some kind.”

H:  “I didn’t know that.”

Br:  “Yeah, one bandit in particular seems to think this village
is his personal whipping post.  His name is Demetrius.”

H:  “Oh-- if he’s the Demetrius I’m thinking of, you don’t have
to worry about him anymore.”

Br:  “Oh-- I see-- oh, but there’s still the damage he and his
gang did to the village meeting hall.  And my father thinks he’s
the one who has to repair it.”

H:  “Oh, maybe I can give him a hand.”

Br:  “What about your friend?”

H:  “I’m pretty sure the kids will be able to take care of him.
Come on.”


Py:  “Don’t even _think_ about running!”

I:  “Why did you do that?  I wasn’t thinking of escaping.  I
really love you guys-- great conversation-- great social
skills-- excellent dental hygiene.”

Py:  “Why, you-- !”

Mac:  “That’s enough, Pylon.”

I:  “You know, you should take it easy on poor Pylon.  It’s not
his fault that he’s intellectually challenged.”

Py:  “What do you mean-- huh?”

Mac:  “Enjoy yourself now, funny man.  But you’re the one who’s
gonna help us kill Hercules.  And I’m gonna make sure he knows
it was you.  Try laughing then.”


Br:  “Papa-- what’re you doing?  You’re gonna hurt your back

H:  “I’ve got it!”

Sept:  “Ah!”

H:  “Are you all right?!”

Sept:  “Ah, yeah, yeah.  This getting old is for the birds.  Are
you sure you can handle that by yourself?”

H:  “Oh, I’ll-- manage.”

Br:  “Papa-- you shouldn’t ask him a question like that.  It’s
Hercules.  Well, at least, that’s what I heard his big friend
call him.”

H:  “He had it right.”

Br:  “Well-- I’m Breanna and-- this is my father, Septus.”

Sept:  “Hey-- is it true what they say?  That you’re the one
that defeated Echidna?”

H:  “It was.”

Sept:  “Oh, we owe you a debt of thanks.  She was a mean one,
that mother of all monsters.  And to think that she was so
close--  oh, oh!”

Br:  “Oh, Papa.  I was afraid that would happen!  Why don’t you
come home and rest a while?”

H:  “Go on with Breanna.  I’ll-- see what I can do around here.”

Sept:  “Oh, well, yes-- I suppose I can always fix anything you
mess up.”

H:  “Oh, uh, before you go-- I was-- wondering if you’d seen a
friend of mine.  His-- name’s Iolaus?”

Sept:  “Ah-- never heard of the man.”

H [Sighs]:  “Thought he’d be here by now.”

Br:  “Are you worried about him?”

H:  “No, I’m-- just hoping he’s not somewhere having a good time
without me.”


Py:  “Not saying much anymore, is he, Maceus?”

Mac:  “Betrayal’s a heavy burden to bear.”

Py:  “Yeah, giving up Hercules the way he did.”

Mac:  “Yeah, but you’re forgetting one thing, Pylon.  It’s what
Hercules deserves for killing my brother.”

Warrior’s Voice:  “Move along!  Don’t hold us up!”

Mac:  “All right-- single file across the bridge.”

Py:  “One by one-- you heard the man.  We’re still waiting for
you to say something, big mouth.”

I:  “Oh, OK.  Uh-- I’ll say something.  How about-- good-bye?”

Warriors’ Voices:  “What happened?!”  “He can’t escape!”

Mac:  “Don’t stand there with your mouths open!  Get after him!”

Warriors’ Voices:  “Get him!”  “Careful!”

I:  “Sorry.”

Warrior:  “Ahhhh!”

Py:  “He’s a dead man!”

Mac:  “If he is, so are you.  I want him alive so he can take us
to Hercules.  Now, get him!”

Warrior’s Voice:  “I see him!  Don’t let him get away!”


Ty:  “Hey!  Whatcha doing?”

H:  “Hi.  Oh, a-- little-- manual labor.  It’s my good deed for
the day.”

Ty:  “Isn’t that whatcha do all the time?”

H:  “I wish it was.  I like working with my hands, but-- other
things keep-- getting in the way.”

Ty:  “Like that girl I saw you with?”

H:  “Breanna?  Oh, no no.  I mean, she’s very pretty but-- ever
since my wife died, I haven’t been interested in anyone else.
What’s wrong?”

Ty:  “Oh-- you just got me thinking about my own wife.”

H:  “I’d say you’ve been away from her far too long.”

Ty:  “I know.  Boy, is Echidna gonna be surprised to see me!”

H:  “Echidna?  The mother of all monsters?”

Ty:  “Yeah, that’s my wife?  Know her?”

H:  “Uh.”



Ty:  “Hercules, is something-- is something wrong?”

H:  “No, every-everything is-is-is-- fine.  It’s-- I just, uh--
you see, I shouldn’t have-- I need to sit down.”

Ty:  “It’s Echidna, isn’t it?”

H:  “Yeah-- it is.”

Ty:  “Tell me what she did.”

H:  “Oh, ya-- it’s-it’s a long-- story.  It-it-- ”

Ty:  “Did she hurt you?”

H:  “Well, you know, at-at first, she wanted to, but, we-we-- we
found a way around that.”

Ty:  “Ah-- sounds like she’s changed.  In the old days-- if I
wasn’t with her when she blew her stack, people got hurt-- hurt

H:  “To tell you the truth, that’s what I thought was gonnna
happen to me.”

Ty:  “Were the kids with her?  The Hydra?  The Stymphalian bird?
The She-demon?”

H:  “Well-- it was-- ”

Ty:  “I hope they weren’t getting into trouble again.”

H:  “They-- do have a reputation as a wild bunch, don’t they?”

Ty:  “Only because nobody ever took a look at their good
qualities.  I bet you never knew the Hydra could knit-- or the
Stymphalian bird was a great dancer.  And the She-demon?  Uh--
you should have heard her sing.”

H:  “Th-the She-demon was-- a-a-a singer?”

Ty:  “Now, right there’s what I’m talkin’ about.  You would have
known all about it if I’d a’ been around.  But Hera kept that
from happening when she made me a prisoner.  She robbed my
children of their father-- and my wife of her husband.  I’m
gonna tell Echidna just that when I see her.”

H:  “A-any idea when that might be?”

Ty:  “Soon I hope-- real soon.”

H:  “Oh.”

Child’s Voice:  “Typhon!  Typhon!  Come play with us!”

Ty:  “Be right there!”

A Child’s Voice:  “We miss you!”

Ty:  “You don’t mind, do you?”

H:  “oh, no, no-not at all.”  

Ty:  “Ready or not, here I come!”


Warriors’ Voice:  “Do you see him?!”  “Where’d he go?!”  “This
way!”  “Hurry up!”  “Run!”

I:  “Who are those guys?!  Are they getting faster, or am I
getting slower?”

Mac:  “Go!  Move!  Move!”

I:  “Oh-- perfect.”


Br:  “You’re supposed to eat that.”

H:  “What?  Oh-- yeah-- yeah.  How are you?”

Br:  “That’s a question I should be asking you after all the
work you did.”

H:  “Oh, there wasn’t much to do.  Your father took care of most
of it.  Uh, oh-- sit down Branna.”

Br:  “Thanks.”

H:  “Uh-- ya hungry?”

Br:  “No-- it doesn’t look like you are, either.  Is that what
ya get when you have the weight of the world on your shoulders?”

H:  “I think you’re confusing me with Atlas.”

Br:  “No, Hercules.  I’ve heard enough about you to know you’re
always worried about someone besides yourself.  Right now I
guess it’s either Typhon-- or that friend a’ yours who hasn’t
shown up yet.”

H:  “It’s-- both of them, actually.”

Br:  “Yeah, well, you shouldn’t worry about Typhon.  The kids
will take care of him.”

H:  “Hmm.  Well, sooner or later, he’s gonna have to learn that
life isn’t all fun and games.”

Br:  “And your missing friend?  Does he know that?

H:  “Oh-- he already knows how tough life can be.  I just hope
he’s not-- finding out all over again.”


Warriors’ Voices:  “Do you see him?”  “No!”  “Try over here!”
“I already looked over there!”  “Get [?] him out of the grass!”
“He can’t hide forever!”  “He’s not over here!”  “Anything?!”
“Nothing at all!”  “He’s gotta be hidin’ somewhere!”  Check the
riverbank!”  He could be anywhere!”  “Where did he go?!”

I:  “Oh”

Mac:  “He _lied_ to us.  He’s not going to Hellespont.  He’s
going to Plinth.  I’ll bet that’s where we find Hercules.”

Py:  “If he was lying-- he dies!”

Mac:  “It’s your call, Pylon.”

Warriors’ Voices:  “Any thing there?!”  “No, I’ve the searched
the whole area.”

Py:  “What are you morons doing over there?!  He went _this_

Warriors’ Voices:  “What?!”  “I don’t know.”  “This is
ridiculous!”  “He’s in the bushes!”

Mac:  “Check every inch of this place!  You hear me?!”

Py:  “Yeah!”

Warrior’s Voice:  “Hurry up!”


I:  “Whoo!”

Mac:  “There he goes!”

Py:  “We’ll get him this time!”

Warriors’ Voices:  “Get him!”  “Follow him!”  “Don’t let him get
away!”  “Quick!  Around that way!”

Mac:  “At your service, Hera.”


Ty:  “Tell ya what.  Just because you’ve been playing so nice--
I’m gonna let you take turns climbing on me?  Would you like

Children:  “Yeah!”

Ty:  “Hey, Hercules!  Come on!  Join the fun!”

H:  “Maybe later.  Can I talk to you?”

Ty:  “Important talk?”

H:  “Yeah-- I think it is.”

Ty:  “Give me a second.  I’ll be right with you.”

Children’s Voices:  “Come on.  Where’s he now?”  “Let’s go
home.”  “Hey, you wanna play ball?”

Ty:  “What’s wrong Hercules?  You look like something’s
bothering you.”

H:  “Well, something is.”

Ty:  “Oh, you can talk to me about it.  I’m your friend.”

H:  “I know.  That’s what makes this so tough.  Eh-- it’s-- ”

I:  “Herc!  Huh!  Herc!  Hey!”

Ty:  “He looks like he’s been rolling around in the mud.”

I:  “Herc!”

H:  “It’s my friend, Iolaus.”

I:  “Help me.”

Ty [Interrupting]:  “Those men look like they don’t play nice.”

H:  “They’re not playing.”

I:  “You gotta give me a hand here!”

H:  “Quick-- get the kids out of here!  There’s gonna be a
fight, Typhon!”

Ty:  “OK.  Come on, kids.  Come with me.”

I:  “Herc!”

Warrior:  “Coward!”

I:  “Herc!”


H:  “What’d you do this time?”

I:  “Hi.  It’s great to see you, too.  Just-- give me a minute--
till I catch my breath.”

Mac:  “There’s Hercules!  Kill him!  Kill him like he killed

H:  “Make it a fast minute.”

Villager’s Voice:  “Oh, no.”

I:  “Ah!  Ah!  Ah!  Ay-yi-yi!”

Br:  “Yeah!”

Sept:  “Yes.”

Woman’s Voice:  “Yes, Hercules!”

H:  “Who is this guy?”

I:  “It’s Demetrius’ brother!”

H:  “Oh.”

Ty:  “Stay here.  I’ve got to go help Hercules’ friend.”

Child’s Voice:  “OK, Typhon!”

Villagers:  “Oh!  “Oh, no!”

Ty:  “Oh, no.”

Py and Mac:  “Oh, yes.”

Mac:  “Retreat!”

Br:  “Yeah!”

Womans’ Voices:  “Yes, Hercules!”

Men’s Voices:  “Well done!”  “We won!”

Sept:  “Come on!”

Man’s Voice:  “Two men army!”

Woman’s Voice:  “Hurray for Hercules and his friend!”

A Man’s Voice:  “Congratulations!”

H:  “Is there, uh-- something you want to tell me?”

I:  “Oh.  Yeah.  I thought I wasn’t gonna make in time to warn

H:  “Some warning.  What’d you do to your arm?”
I:  “Ah, it’s, you know, just a little torture.”

H:  “Come on.  Let’s take a look at it.”

I:  “Yeah, OK.”

Sept:  “Well done, Hercules.  Come on, everyone!  Let’s

People:  “Yeah!”

H:  “You need a bath.”

I:  “Yeah.”


Warriors’ Voices:  “How did two men beat all of us?”  “Oh!”
“Oh.”  “My whole body aches.”

Mac:  “We were not meant to lose.”

Py:  “But it was Hercules.  Mortals aren’t supposed to defeat

Mac:  “When they have the help of Hera, they are.”

Py:  “Hera?  How do you know she’s helping us?”

Mac:  “First the lightning bolt-- and then this.”

Py:  “What good’s a feather gonna do?”

Mac:  “That’s for Hera to decide.”

Py:  “What is it?”

Mac:  “It’s  Echidna-- the mother of all monsters.”

Py:  “Why would Hera send Echidna to help us?”

Mac:  “Becuase Hera hates Hercules as much as I do.”


Echidna [E]:  “I’ll get you yet, Hercules.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”



Sept:  “It’s great to have a party like this.  Most times after
marauders have been to town, all we can do is-- lick our

H:  “I’d still like to apologize for bringing so much trouble

Sept:  “Aw, no apology necessary.  Eh, just satisfy my
curiosity.  Why were they after you?”

H:  “You know, its-- ”

I:  “Their leader wanted revenge on Hercules for-- how can I put
this politely, uh?  Eradicating his brother.”

Sept:  “Huh-- any fool should know that revenge only breeds more

Br:  “Well, then, you shouldn’t talk about it when we’re
supposed to be having fun.”

I:  “Hello.  I’m Iolaus.  And you are?”

Br:  “Breanna.  Is your friend much of a dancer, Hercules?”

H:  “Well-- Iolaus and I have never danced, but he’s always
looked pretty light on his feet.”

I:  “Yeah.  Um-- allow me to demonstrate.  [Laughs]  Hey, you
dance pretty good.  No, try this.”

H:  “Oh, don’t worry.  He always brings ‘em back alive.”

Sept:  “Well, I guess I better go and check and see how that
lamb’s coming.  We can’t have you saying that we never fed you

People:  “Oh!”

Man’s Voice:  “Oh!  It’s only Typhon!”

Ty:  “It’s only me.  Am I invited too?”

H:  “The party wouldn’t be complete without you.”

Ty:  “I was afraid you were mad at me, Hercules.”

H:  “Now, where would you get an idea like that?”

Ty:  “You know-- ‘cause I almost messed up everything for you,
today.  I wanted to help, but-- I was too clumsy-- just like

H:  “Typhon, the only thing that matters is that your heart was
in the right place.”

Ty:  “My heart maybe-- but not my feet.”


Mac:  “Not much further.”

Py:  “How do you know Echidna won’t kill us?”

Mac:  “She’ll be to busy getting ready to slaughter Hercules.”

Py:  “This can’t be it.”

Mac:  “Well, well, well-- Hercules must have sealed Echidna in
there.  No wonder she didn’t come out to kill him.”

Py:  “Yeah, but how do we get in?”

Mac:  “With the help of Hera.”


H:  “Hel-- lo-o?”

I:  “Hmm-- oh.”  [Laughs]

H:  “Must be love.”

I:  “Well, ya hafta admit, Breanna’s-- exquisite.”

H:  “Hmm.”

I:  “You know, after what I’ve been few the past few days, she
seems to make all my problems disappear.”

H:  “Yeah-- I wish I could find someone to make _my_ problem

I:  “What’s that?”

H:  “Typhon.”

I:  “Typhon?  Hmm-- can’t find sandals to fit him, huh?”

H:  “No-- what I can’t find are the words to tell him about his

I:  “His wife?”

H:  “Echidna.”

I:  “Echidna?  You mean, Typhon is married to Echidna?  Our

H:  “Yeah.”

I:  “Wow, that doesn’t make any sense at all.”

H:  “Hmm.”

I:  “He’s so-- gentle-- good-natured.  I mean, she-- well, she’s
a killer.”

H:  “Ah, but he loves her.”

I:  “Whoo.”

H:  “I’ve got to tell him what happened at her lair.”

I:  “Huh-- it’d be easier to to fight the Hydra again.”

H:  “Except for one thing.”

I:  “What’s that?”

H:  “Well, the Hydra was one of their children.”

I:  “Oh.”


E:  “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”


Py:  “How long do you plan on staying here, Maceus?”

Mac:  “As long as Hera wants us to.  What’s the matter?  Don’t
you believe?”

Py:  “Yeah-- sure.  Of course I do.  But waiting in front of a
pile a’ rocks in the wet-- it’s crazy.”

Mac:  “I don’t think Echidna likes your choice of words-- and I
certainly don’t.  Well-- who do we have here?”

Warrior’s Voice:  “Come on!”

Mac:  “Come here, pilgrim.”

Boy:  “I didn’t mean no harm.  I was just curious-- that’s all.
I just wanted to see what was goin’ on.” 

Mac:  “Then you don’t want to leave.  The show’s just starting.”

Py:  “You sound pretty sure of that.”

Mac:  “If there’s anything else you’d like to say, I’m sure
Echidna would be glad to hear it.  As for you-- get to Plinth.
Get there as fast as your bandy legs can carry you.  And tell
Hercules that Hera has set Echidna free.”

Boy:  “Yes, sir.”

Py:  “Hercules will know it’s a trap.”

Mac:  “He’ll come anyway.  The fool always acts like he can’t be
beaten.  [Laughs]  I’m sure Echidna will agree with that.”


I:  “Hercules, do you really have to do this?”

H:  “Unfortunately, yes.”

I:  “OK.  But-- at least let me be there when you talk to
Typhon-- you know, for moral support.”

H:  “Thanks, but I really gotta handle this by myself.”

Ty:  “I got it!”

H:  “You know, if he’s not careful-- he’s gonna kill them with
his kindness.”

I:  “Yeah.  Hey, let us give ya a hand with that, Typhon!”

Ty:  “Oh, great!”

I’s Voice [?]:  “Oh, Typhon!”

Ty:  “Oh, no.”


E:  “Who is it?!  Who’s there?!”

Mac:  “Maceus-- brother of Demetrius.”

E:  “He got the looks.  I hope you got the brains!”

Mac:  “You’re proof that I did.  I convinced Hera to free you.”

E:  “Freedom is not enough!  I want revenge-- revenge on
Hercules-- for taking my babies from me!”

Mac:  “Hercules will be here.”

E:  “If he is not-- you will die in his place.”


Ty:  “I am sorry.  I am so sorry.  I-- ”

H:  “Typhon?  I really need to talk to you about Echidna.”

Ty:  “OK.”

Boy:  “Hercules!  Hercules!  Hercules!”

I:  “Hey.  Yeah.  Take it easy.  This is Hercules.”

H:  “What’s wrong?”

Boy:  “I-it’s Echidna.  Hera unsealed her lair.  I saw it with
my own eyes.  There were warriors there, too.”

I:  “Ah, that’s gotta be Maceus.”

H:  “Yeah.”

Ty:  “Wh-what do you mean, Hera unsealed Echidna’s lair?”

Boy:  “Hercules left her there after they fought.  I-I thought
everyone knew that.”

Ty:  “You shouldn’t have done that.”

H:  “I had to, Typhon.”

Ty:  “You had to hurt a woman?  Then you’re not as nice as I
thought you were.”

H:  “I didn’t hurt her.  She was gonna kill my mother.  I had to
fix it so Echidna wouldn’t harm her or anybody else.”

I:  “I-it’s true, Typhon.  I saw her almost kill him.”

Ty:  “Stop it!  I don’t wanna hear it!”

I:  “Typhon, wait!  Wait a minute!  Listen to him!”

H:  “Iolaus!”



H:  “Can you hear me, Iolaus?  Come on-- I’ve seen you take
better punches than that.  Well-- ”

Br:  “What happened, Hercules?!”

Sept:  “Th-the giant went crazy.  Well, that’s what everybody’s

H:  “No, they’re wrong.  We were talking about Typhon’s wife and
things got a little out of control.”

Sept:  “A little outta control?!  I mean, who’s the big
lunatic’s wife anyway?  The queen of Corsicer [sic]?! ”

I:  “No-- it’s Echidna.”

People:  “Oh!”

H:  “Welcome back.  You’ve had a nice couple of days out of

Br:  “You’ll be all right-- I know you will.”

Sept:  “Forget about your friend, Hercules.”

Br:  “No, Papa!”

Sept:  “What about us?!  Have we gotta live in fear that one day
we’lll wind up in Echidna’s path?!”

H:  “I’ll deal with her as soon as I’m sure Iolaus is all

Sept:  “You can’t just deal with her.  You have to kill her!”

H:  “Killing never solved anything.”

Sept:  “No, but-- how else are you gonna stop her?”

I:  “Hercules will find a way if you give him a chance.  And I
could use a hand up if it’s not too much trouble.”

H:  “Are you sure?”

I:  “Yeah.”

H:  “Take care of him, Breanna.  I won’t be gone too long.”

I:  “Hey, you’re not going anywhere without me.”

Br:  “No, Iolaus-- next time you might get killed.”

H:  “I think you should stay.”

I:  “Wait a second.  Remember the state you were in when we last
fought Echidna?  It’s just my turn to be a mess, that’s all.”

H [Sighs]:  “All right, then-- let’s go.”

Woman’s Voice:  “Oh, did you see that?”

Man’s Voice:  “Oh, I certainly did.”

H:  “At least your lips are working.”

I:  “That’s not all that’s working.”


Py:  “There he is-- the big oaf.”

Warrior:  “But, where’s Hercules?”

Py:  “He’ll be along-- him and that smart-mouthed friend of his.
Watch for them.  I’m going to tell Maceus the fun’s about to


I:  “How could a sweet, innocent guy like Typhon get hooked up
with Echidna?”

H:  “Go figure.  I guess there’s someone for everyone.”

I:  “Yeah but-- those two?”

H:  “He says Echidna’s a completely different woman if he’s
around her.  It’s when he’s gone that her mean streak starts
showing through.”

I:  “Oh-- I don’t care how lovey-dovey they get.  She’s gonna
remember how you left her trapped in that lair.”

H:  “Uh, I don’t think she forgot.  Oh, we also got Maceus to
worry about.”

I:  “Oh, yeah.  Hey-- ”

H:  “Hmm.”

I:  “You gonna let him kill you?”

H:  “Nah.”


Ty:  “Where’s Echidna?”

Mac:  “Right where she’s always been, my friend.”

Ty:  “I know you.  You’re the man who tried to hurt Hercules.”

Mac:  “Yes-- and I’m the man who saved your wife, too.  See
that, Typhon?  That’s what stood between Echidna and the outside
world, until my warriors and I removed it, with our bare hands--
rock by miserable rock.  And you know who trapped her that way?

Ty:  “He already told me.  Now, let me see Echidna.”

Mac:  “You’ll see her, Typhon.  But first-- Hercules must be
punished for what he did to your wife-- and to you.”

Ty:  “He never hurt _me_.  He set me free, after I was held
prisoner by Hera for all those years.”

Mac:  “So what?  He didn’t do it until he trapped Echidna down
there  in the bowels of the Earth.  And I’ll tell ya something
else-- he killed all your kids, too.”

Ty:  “My kids?”

Mac:  “That’s right-- every last one of ‘em.”

Ty:  “That can’t be true.”

Mac:  “And there’s one way you can right all these wrongs.
You’ve got to kill Hercules.”


I:  “You know?  Just once, I’d like to see us sneak up on

H:  “Think of all the fun you’d miss.”

I:  “Yeah, like being watched?”

H [Sighs]:  “You noticed.”

I:  “Force of habit.”

H:  “Too late to turn back?”

I [Chuckles]:  “Yeah.”


Warrior:  “He’s coming!  Hercules is coming!”

Mac:  “Now, you get your revenge.”

Ty:  “Whoa-- I’m a lover-- not a fighter.”

H:  “Typhon!”

Mac:  “You’re not gonna fight him-- Echidna is!  All we’ve gotta
do is lure him into the cave!  Now, come on!”

Ty:  “Hey.”

H:  “Stay where you are, Typhon!”

Mac:  “Come, Typhon.  Your wife awaits.”

Ty:  “Ooh!  Uh.  Ow.”

Mac:  “Pick yourself up.  I’ll go warn Echidna.”

Py:  “If we eat you first, Echidna can chew on your bones.”

I:  “Charming, isn’t he?”

H:  “Very.”


I:  “Whooo!  “Hey!  Nice move, Herc!”

H:  “Thanks.  Can you handle the rest by yourself?”

I:  “Ha-- Is the Aegean Sea wet?!”

Ty:  “What are you gonna do to me?”

H:  “Nothing.  Now please, just listen.  This is all a plot to
get Echidna to kill me.  You were the bait to lure me here.”

Ty:  “Are you going to kill her like you killed my kids?”

H:  “No.  I’ll do everything I can to keep her alive.”

Ty:  “But you did kill my kids, didn’t you?”

H:  “They didn’t give me a choice, Typhon.”

Ty:  “Not even one of ‘em?”

H:  “Hera had them all under her power.  There was no way they
could do anything good.”

Ty:  “But, it was _Hera_ that kept me away from my family.
She’s my enemy.”

H:  “Your kids didn’t know that.  And Echidna doesn’t either.”

Ty:  “Is Hera controlling her, too?”

H:  “I’m afraid she is.”

Ty:  “Then, I’ve _got_ to go in there.  Echidna will be nice--
when she sees me.”

H:  “Good.  Then let’s go.”


H:  “Typhon!”

Ty:  “Mmmmmmmmmm-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  Uhhhhh.  Uh-oh.”

H:  “I’ll-- wake you when it’s over.”


E:  “Hercules!  Have you come back to die?”

H:  “Not exactly.  So-- where have you hidden that coward,

E:  “You won’t live long enough to care!”

H:  “We’ll see, Echidna.  Oh, by the way, your-- husband’s

E:  “How dare you mention Typhon?!”

Mac:  “Ahhhhhh!”

E:  “Ahhhhhhhh!  [Etc.]”

Mac:  “Kill him!”

E:  “You escaped me once!  You won’t again!  Ahhhhhhh!  [Etc.]”


I:  “A-ha.  Mm-wah!”

Ty:  “Where’d he go?!”

I:  “You don’t wanna know.”


E:  “You must _pay_ for what you did to my children and me!”

Mac:  “Echidna!”

E:  “Look what you made me do!”

H:  “Don’t expect an apology.”

Ty’s Voice:  “Honey, I’m ho-ome!”

I:  “Herc-- did we make it in time?”

E:  “Typhon-- it’s you.  Where on Earth have you been?”

Ty:  “Oh, I’m sorry.  I would have been back ages ago, but--
Hera held me prisoner.  It was Hercules who set me free.”

E:  “Hercules?!  He’s the one who-- ”

Ty [Interrupting]:  “I know about the kids.  It was all Hera’s
fault.  She’s the one who made them do bad things.  Hercules was
just trying to make the world a nice place.”

H:  “I would have told you if you’d given me the chance.”

E:  “But Hera-- ”

H:  “Hera wanted to keep you and Typhon apart, because she knew
how angry that would make you.”

E:  “And it did.  I’ve been such a fool.  And I’ve done such
horrible things!”

Ty:  “But I still love ya, Echidna.”

E:  “You do?  Then come here, lover-boy!”

Ty:  “Oh, Baby, you’re the greatest!”

E:  “Ohhhh.  Ohhhh.”

Ty:  “Oooh.”  [Chuckles]

I:  “Oh, those tentacles.”

H:  “Yeah-- I just hope they can stay together forever.”

I:  “Yeah.”

E:  “I need you.”

Ty:  “Oh-- you’re-- ”

I:  “Uh-- well, it looks like we’re finished here.  Uh-- think
they’ll miss us if we-- hit the road?”

H [Sighs]:  “They’ll never notice.”

E:  “Oh! Typhon!”

Ty:  “Mmm!  Oh!  Oh!”

E:  “Ohhhhh!”


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