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“The Enforcer”  Episode 26/213


Thug:  “Get ready.  They’re almost here.  Keep the horses quiet,
little man.”

Gnatius [Gnat]:  “Uh, don’t worry.  I’m great with horses.
Practically raised in a stable.  Any chance of getting my dinar
in advance?”

Thug:  “Silence-- or I’ll pay you with this.  Let’s go.”

Thugs’ Voices:  “Ready-- this way.”  “Move-- now!”

I:  “You know, Herc?  It may be time for you to get married

H:  “It’s usually nice to meet somebody you like, before you get

I:  “I know, but it can’t be a bad thing.”

H [Sighs]:  “Iolaus, that’s all my mother ever-- talks about.
Oh look-- acrobats.”  [Chuckles]

Thug:  “Whad’ya mean, acrobats?!”

H:  “Aren’t you performing at the festival?”

Thug:  “Cut the comedy, and draw your sword, Hercules.”

H:  “I, I-- I don’t-- have a sword.”

I:  “Oh, wait a minute-- I do.”

H:  “Uh-- there you go.  But first, do you mind telling us what
this is all about?”

Thug:  “I have a message for you-- from Hera.”

H:  “Same old message.  Uh-- could you give her my reply?”


I:  “Uh, now?”

H:  “Uh, now would be good.”

Gnat:  “Ooh.  Whoa.  Whoa, horses-- please!  Please, please,
please, I don’t want to die!  Whoa.  Whoa!  Always get the money
first, Gnatius.  Please, come back!  Don’t run off!”

Thug:  “Huh?  Run!  To the horses!”

A Thug’s Voice:  “Where did they go?!”

Thug:  “All right-- just run!”

A Thug’s Voice:  “All right!”

I:  “OK-- just what I needed to get the blood flowing!

H:  “Why do I get this feeling-- that Hera’s not through with


Nemesis [Nem]:  “Hera, why am I being punished?”

Hera:  “Once again, you disobeyed a command of mine.”

Nem:  “But your order was unjust.  Hercules doesn’t deserve to

Hera:  “That’s for me to decide-- not you, Nemesis!  Your
services are no longer needed here.”

Nem:  “What do you mean?”

Hera:  “I mean, from now on-- you are a mortal.”


Woman’s Voice:  “Hera-- help my family!”

Men’s Voices:  “Have mercy, Hera!”  “Almighty Hera!”

Gnat [Interrupting]:  “Dinar for the blind.”

Man’s Voice:  “Grant me my wish!”

Gnat:  “Dinar for the blind!  Dinars so that I may beseech Hera
to end my blindness?!”

Man:  “Money for the blind, eh?”

Gnat:  “Oh, yes, please!  Uh, uh-- Hera will look kindly on you,
sir, and so will I, if she hears my prayer.  Uh!  Oh!”

Man:  “Fraud!  You’re not blind!”

Gnat:  “Ow.  Hera the merciful!  I-I-I can see!  Cheap old man.
Dinar for the lame!  Dinar for the lame!  Dinar for the lame?”

Woman’s Voice:  “Wait!”  

Men’s Voices:  “Something from Hera!”  “What’s going on?”  “It
walks on water.”

Woman’s Voice:  “It’s coming ashore.”

Man:  “Praise be to Hera!  I prayed for a beautiful wife-- and
here you are!”

People:  “Oh!”

Men’s Voices:  “What has she done?!”  “I think he’s dead!”
“She’s killed her!”

Gnat:  “May the gods forgive me-- but I need this money more
than you do.”

Woman’s Voice [In background]:  “Stay away!”

Gnat:  “A man could get rich picking the bones off of _her_
victims.  Wait!  Wherever you’re going, I can help you.”

Enforcer [Enf]:  “Where is Hercules?”

Gnat:  “You want Hercules?!  I know where to find him!  Uh,
follow me, partner!”

Enf:  “Must kill Hercules.”



I:  “Uh.  Hah!  You know?!  Correct me if I’m wrong, Hercules--
but to me-- a festival means fun!  You’re not supposed to work!”

H:  “Every year-- we come to the festival.  We eat their food--
drink their wine.  Don’t you think it’s time we repaid their

I:  “Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah-- I mean, I know it’s good to help
people, but-- this is a _festival_.  I mean, we’re supposed to
be having fun.  I’ve got nothing against work, but--” 

Woman’s Voice [In background]:  “No, a little higher!”

I:  “-- well, work’s work.”

Woman’s Voice:  “That’s perfect!”

Clytus:  “Uh-- can you help me with this anvil?”

H:  “Uh-- ”

I [Interrupting]:  “Oh, uh, you know what?  I would, but, uh--
my arm’s-- ”

H [Interrupting]:  “But it’s um-- work.”

I:  “Huh!”

H:  “Here, I’ll give ya a hand.”

Clytus:  “Thanks.”

H:  “I’ve got it.”

Clytus:  “Oh.”

Woman:  “I can’t believe one man can lift that thing.”

I:  “Huh!  Oh, hey!  Uh-- excuse me, um-- lemme give ya a hand
with those.”

A Woman:  “You’re so kind to help.”

I:  [Incoherent Mumbling]

H:  “I, uh-- thought you didn’t-- feel like working.”

I:  “Who, me?  No, no, no, no-- I love to work.”

H:  “Yeah-- he loves to work.”

I:  “Uh-- have we met?”


Gnat:  “He-he-he-he!  More dinar coming our way!”

Soldier:  “Move along.”

Enf:  “Give me your clothes.”

Gnat:  “Ha-ha-oh, gods!  I love this woman!”


Gnat:  “No need to kill this guy.  Just knock him on the head or
something, so I can take his money.  Am I getting through to ya?
Oh, the strong, silent type-- OK, I can live with that.  Hi.
Hey-- how am I supposed to get my dinar if you only kill people
stupid enough to get in your way?”

Enf:  “Where is Hercules?”

Gnat:  “Hercules, again.  You know, your one-track mind kind of
limits our conversation-- straight ahead.”


Drunk:  “No, no-- I would a’ cut him in half!”


Men’s Voices:  “Two more mugs of ale!”  “And some mutton!”
“Gimme some wild boar!”  

Nem:  “What a strange feeling hunger is.  I’ve never experienced
it before, because-- gods don’t get hungry.”

Innkeeper:  “You were a god, huh?  Honey, it’s my job to listen
to the story-- no matter how crazy-- but the customer still has
to pay the bill.”

Nem:  “Money?”

Drunk Man:  “Always happy to rescue a pretty damsel in

Nem:  “Thank you.”

Drunk Man:  “Oh, there _are_ better ways you could thank a man--
if you know what I mean.”

Nem:  “I think I know what you mean.  I’ve only been a mortal
one day, but I wasn’t born yesterday.”

Drunk Man:  “Well, this is rough country.  A delicate little
thing like you-- could use a man’s protection.”  [Laughs]

Nem:  “Oh, protection?  Is that what you had in mind?”

A Drunk Man:  “Uh-huh.”

Nem:  “I could protect myself, if I had your bow and arrow.
Let’s have a contest.  If I win-- you give me these.  If you
win-- I give you what you want.”

Drunk Man:  “You’re on.  See that chain-- on the far wall?”

Woman’s Voice:  “Yeah.”

Nem:  “If I hit the bottom link, dead center, I win, right?”

Drunk Man:  “Make it closest.  We don’t wanna be here all day.
Ladies first.”

Nem:  “Dead center _is_ closest of all.”

Man’s Voice:  “Oh!  Fine shot!”

Drunk Man:  “Lucky shot.”

Nem:  “I have never missed that badly!”

Drunk Man:  “Yeah, right.”

A Drunk Man:  “Hmm.  Hmm.  Huh?”  [Sighs]

Drunk Man:  “OK-- but it wasn’t an even contest!  I’m drunk!”

Nem:  “It _was_ even.  I’m mortal.”

Man’s Voice:  “-- even had one eye closed.”


I:  [Moaning]

H:  “Water?”

I:  “Yeah.  Thanks.”

H:  “Now you can enjoy the festival.”

I:  “Yeah-ha!  If I live that long.”

H:  “Funny-- that bird reminds me of a woman I know.”

I:  “Oh, you mean-- she liked to wear feathers?”

H [Chuckles]:  “No-- no.  She-- she’s an archer-- and my first
love-- very beautiful.  Uh-- you’ve-- never-- seen her, though
she’s-- met you.”

I:  “Well-- I don’t remember any feather beauties in your life.
On the other hand-- I’ve, uh-- got a lot on my mind.”

H:  “What mind?”

Man’s Voice:  “Here we are.”

Woman’s Voice:  “Yes, up.”

Man’s Voice:  “Right.  Here we are.”

Woman’s Voice:  “All right.”

Nem:  “Hello, Hercules.”

H:  “Nemesis-- I-- I was just thinkin’ about you.”

Nem [Giggles]:  “You were?  And what were you thinking of?
Kissing me hello?”

H:  “Now that you mention it.”


Gnat [?]:  “Come on.”

Woman’s Voice:  “All right, you guys!”

Man’s Voice:  “New meat!”

A Man’s Voice:  “Tough, too-- I like that in a woman.”

Another Man’s Voice:  “What is she looking at?”

Gnat:  “Could you do me a favor?  I told the-- little woman I
could find Hercules.  Well, I-- did see him around here,
earlier.  Would you happen to know where he is now?”

Innkeeper:  “Information comes free with the ale.”

Gnat:  “Oh.”

Innkeeper:  “Which isn’t free.  Your man’s further up the road
at the festival.  He’s there every year.”

Enf:  “Where is Hercules?”

Gnat:  “We’ll go see him, soon as I’ve had this.”

Enf:  “What is this?”

Gnat:  “This is ale-- beer?  You know-- barley, hops, water?”

Enf:  “Water-- yes.”

Gnat:  “A guy could get thirsty watching her drink.”

Innkeeper:  “I’ll drink to that.”

Enf:  “More water.”

Gnat:  “Hey, hey!  Take it easy!  That stuff ain’t free!  And it
definitely ain’t water.  Keep ya in tiptop shape!”

Drunk Man:  “You know, when I see a woman who likes her ale like
you, it just gives me a little tingle all over.  Quiet and shy,
too-- I like that.”

Gnat:  “Let me-- give ya some advice-- ”

Enf [Interrupting]:  “I want more.”

Gnat:  “You don’t wanna mess with her.  She’s uh-- ooh!  OK,
don’t say I didn’t warn ya.”

Drunk Man:  “More ale for my girlfriend, bartender.  You don’t
mind me calling you my girlfriend, do you?  Good.  You know,
Honey?  You don’t have to go to the festival with that runt.  Me
and my friend, we’ll give you all the drink you want.  Then we
can have a festival of our own-- just the three of us.  What do
you say?  Ahhh!”

Man’s Voice:  “What is she?!”

Woman:  “She’s a monster!”

Woman’s Voice:  “She’ll kill us all!”

Gnat:  “Oh-ho-ho-ho!  Ooo, I’m outta here!”

A Drunk Man:  “Huh?  Ahhhhhhh!”

Gnat:  “Hercules doesn’t stand a chance!”



Nem:  “Hercules?  Do I look different to you?”

H:  “Well-- you are, uh-- beautiful-- just like always.”

Nem:  “Why, thank you for the complement, but that’s not what I
asked.  I asked you if I-- look different.”

H:  “OK, let me see.  Uh-- your hair is a little different.”

Nem:  “No, that’s not what I mean.”

H:  “All right, your-your clothes.”

Nem:  “No.”

Clytus [Interrupting]:  “Hercules, thanks for your help.  I’ve
set aside my best wares for you and your lady-friend to try

H:  “Well, thank you, Clytus.  We’ll be right-- over.  He can
see you.  B-but you only let mortals see you as you’re about to
kill them.  Uh, uh, no-no-not Clytus.”

Nem:  “No-- Hera got angry about my policy to kill only those
that deserve to die-- so she made me mortal.”

H:  “It’s because of me, isn’t it?  You stood up to her like I
encouraged you to, and now you’re being punished for it.  I’m
sorry, Nemesis.”

Nem:  “Don’t be.  She ordered me to kill you.  And if mortality
is the price I have to pay for _not_ doing that, then so be it.”

H:  “Then I owe you my life.”

Nem:  “Don’t be so sure about that.  Hera created-- someone to
replace me-- an enforcer.  I just came to see you, and now I’m
afraid that-- I’ve led it right to you.”


Gnat:  “We really oughtta stick around and eat something,
because we’ve got a long walk ahead of us, and-- I don’t travel
too well on an empty stomach, if you know what I mean.”

Soldier’s Voice:  “Hey, what’s she doing?!”

Gnat:  “I like it!  I like it!  Not much chitchat, but always

Soldier:  “Hey, you!  That’s my chariot!  Ahhhhhhhh!”

Gnat:  “Safety, first.  Ha-ha, I like that!”


H’s Voice:  “Excuse me.  Uh, excuse me.”

I:  “The fate of Greece is in the balance-- and, uh, it’s
_very_-- uh-- hold that thought.”

H [Interrupting]:  “Hey!”

I:  “Y-yeah-- I’ll, uh, uh-- ”

H:  “Iolaus!  I’d like to meet someone.  Remember when I
mentioned my first love.”

I:  “Oh!  Oh, the woman with the feathers.”

H:  “Well-- sort of.  Uh-- this is Nemesis-- in the flesh, but
not the feathers.”

I:  “Nemesis-- you’re named after the hitwoman of the gods?
[Chuckles]  Boy!  I’ll bet you got teased at school!”

H:  “Uh, Iolaus this-- is-- Nemesis.”

I:  “Yeah, right.  Anyway-- it’s good to see Hercules with a
woman again.  Frankly, lately, he’s been a real
‘goody-two-sandals’, if you know what I mean.”

Nem:  “It’s nice to meet you again, Iolaus.”

I:  “Oh, we’ve met?  I don’t think so.”

H:  “Trust me-- you have-- but, this time it’s under better

Nem:  “I am _the_ Nemesis.”

I:  “Ha!”

Nem:  “And, once I was sent after you.  You don’t remember me
watching you, though, because-- I don’t let humans see me until
I’m ready to kill them.”

I:  [Laughs]

Woman’s Voice:  “Pull up a [?].  Hello!”

I:  “Wait-- ”

Woman’s Voice:  “Come up and join us!”

I:  “You mean-- she was gonna kill me?  She’s your friend, and
she was gonna kill me?  Wait a second.  I can see her now--
can’t I?  So-- that means, uh-- .  Whoa!”

H:  “Iolaus!  I’ll be right back.”


Gnat:  “You know, they’ve got a speed limit in this part of

Enf:  “Must kill Hecules.”

Gnat:  “Yeah-- how could I forget?!  Ooooooooh!  Look out!
Watch the trees!  Waaahhhhhhhhhhh!”


I:  “A true friend-- is not afraid to give a friend advice when
he’s making a mistake!”

H:  “Iolaus, it’s-- ”

I:  “Hi.”

Woman:  “Mmmmmmmm.”

I:  “I’ll, uh-- be along later.”

H:  “So-- ‘true friend’-- can I give you some advice?”

I:  “Hey-- don’t change the subject, Hercules.  This is about
you and Nemesis!  Look, I know your mother thinks you should get
married again, but-- it’s a mistake to get hitched up with a--
a-- _hitwoman_.”

H:  “I’m not going to marry her.  She’s an old love who is now a
friend.  Now, come here.”

I:  “Ah!”

H:  “Hi.  I want you two-- to be friends.  So stay here and--
bury the hatchet.  Better make that, ‘Forgive and forget.’
Think you can do that?  Just let bygones be bygones?”

I:  “Any more cliche’s while you’re at it?”

Clytus:  “Hey, Hercules.”

H:  “Hi, Clytus.  Oh, Clytus-- uh, wait.  I-- you know-- I have
to go and-and judge a, uh-- a pie-eating contest.”

Clytus:  “Oh, this late?”

H:  “Until-- no, I-I’ll be-- right back.  Yeah, I have to know--

I:  “Well, I guess I should feel honored.  After all, I’m-- one
of the few mortals to see the notorious Nemesis and live to tell
the tale.  I, uh-- I will live, won’t I?”

Nem:  “I’m not that Nemesis any more, Iolaus.  I disobeyed the
gods, and I spared your life-- because-- I watched you long
enough to see that you’re a very brave and honest man.  And I
saw someone that I would be proud to have as my friend.  And I
think if you looked at the real me, you would see a friend,

I:  “Yeah-- well-- thanks.”


Gnat:  “Oh, not horses-- oh, no way.  Sorry partner, you’re on
your own.”

Enf:  “Hera says, ‘Kill Hercules.’”

Gnat:  “Hera?  I’m on Hera’s team?  Ha!  Gnatius, ya finally
made the big time!  Ha-ha-- oh!”


H:  “Whoa!  Whoa!  Whoa!  Whoa!  Whoa!  Whoa!  Whoa!  Whoa!
Whoa!  Whoa.  Whoa.  What’s wrong?!”

Redhead:  “I saw a man die!  Torn apart by bare hands!  It was

H:  “Who did all this?”

Redhead:  “A monster!  I’m next!  I know I am!  It’s comin’
along the seawall route from Skoura!  It’s after Hercules!”

H:  “I’m Hercules.”

Redhead:  “Yeah-- yeah.  Hercules!  I gotta get to the festival
to warn him!”

H:  “No, but I’m-- !”

Redhead:  “Hyah!  Hyah!  Hyah!  Hyah!”


Gnat:  “Oh-- oh-- oh.  Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!”


Enf:  “Hercules.”

H:  “Excuse me, did you come north from Skoura?  I don’t-- wanna
scare you, but there’s a-- creature running around here who--


Gnat:  “Ooh!”

H:  “-- who packs a heckuva punch.  Look-- I am not going to
_fight_ a woman.  Wuhhhhhhhh!  Maybe I should be more

Enf:  “Must kill Hercules.”

H:  “Are you sure we can’t talk about this?”

Gnat:  “Oh, good work, Gnatius.  You bet on another loser.”

H:  “Hera-- I wsh that was you down there.”



I:  “So then Hercules said, ‘But wait a minute.  I’m half a
god.’  What happened to you?”

H:  “Uh-- Hera-- happened.”

I:  “Hera?  Wait a second, you went out to judge pies.  When did
Hera get a grudge against pies?”

Nem:  “You snuck off on your own to find Hera’a Enforcer, didn’t

I:  “Enforcer?”

H:  “Hera’s replacement for Nemesis-- except this one doesn’t
carry a bow-- or have-- much of a personality.  She throws a-- a
mean right hook, though.”

I:  “She?”

H:  “Ah, yeah-- she-- I’m glad I won’t have to fight her again.”

I:  “Did you win?”

H:  “She’s lying-- dead-- at the bottom of a cliff.”


Gnat:  “There’s no killing you, is there, partner?!  Welcome


H:  “Ya sure ya wanna try this?  Chasing chickens is dirty

Nem:  “Yeah, but not if you’re smart.”

Man:  “Ready?!  Go!”

Nem:  “I told you it was easy.”

Men’s Voices:  “I don’t believe it!”  “Of all the luck!”


Nem:  “So-- I eat this with my hands?”

I:  “No, no-- who said anything about hands?”

H:  “What’s the matter?  Aftaid of a little pie?”

Man:  “OK-- are ya ready?”

H:  “Ah.”

Man:  “Go!”

H:  “Hey-- let me help you.”

I:  “That does it!”

Nem:  [Screams]


Nem:  “This is so beautiful, here.”

H:  “Hmm.”

Nem:  “Especially being with you.”

H:  “Well, there’s-- nothing like being with old friends.”

Nem:  “Friends?  I was hoping we’d be a little more than just

H:  “What do you mean?”

Nem:  “Hercules-- I’ve never stopped loving you.”

H [Sighs]:  “Nemesis, I-- I think you’re feeling vulnerable
because you’ve-- never been mortal before.”

Nem:  “Being mortal has nothing to do with it.  I’ve always
loved you.”

H:  “And you know I’ve always cared about you.  I-- I just
didn’t think-- you know, after we broke up-- you and your job--
and-- ”

Nem:  “Hercules-- will you just kiss me?”

H:  “Sure.”

Nem:  “We can do better than that.”

H:  “Probably.”


Gnat:  “Here comes someone.  Hope he’s got lots of dinar.  Oh,
no, it’s a leper!”

Thug:  “Ahhhhhhhhh!”

Gnat:  “Ahh!”  [Laughs]

Thug:  “Don’t hurt me!  Have mercy!”

Gnat:  “One dinar!  Trust my luck to rob an unsuccessful thief.
Hey, partner!  Partner?  Whooaaaaa!”

Enf:  “Must kill Hercules.”

Gnat:  “Civilized people do not throw their partners into trees!
Hey, wait a minute, I’m stuck up here-- you wanna help me get
down?!  Hey, I’m not a piece of fruit!  I’m a human being!  OK--
if that’s the way you’re gonna play it, our partnership is


Nem:  “You must get lonely, sometimes.”

H:  “Sometimes.”

Nem:  “Are you lonely now?”

H:  “Now, what kind-- of a question-- is that-- hmm?  I’m
never-- lonely-- when I’m with you.”

Nem:  “That’s just-- what I wanted to hear you say.”

H:  “Really.”


Smith:  “She’s a beauty, i’n’t [sic] she?  You’re new around
here, aren’t ya?  Kinda shy, too, I’m guessin’.  There’s no need
for that.  People are friendly around here.  Maybe, this one
will be more your size.  What’s the matter?!  Hercules says my
swords are the best in the festival!”

Enf:  “Hercules?”

Smith:  “That’s right-- the one and only.  If you don’t believe
me, go to the inn-- ask him yourself.”


Women’s Voices:  “Buy me a drink!”  “Oh, hi!”  “Want some?”

I:  “Iolaus, Iolaus, Iolaus.”

Man:  “I know what you mean.”

I:  “Iolaus.”

Man:  “Come on-- let me try this one.  Hi-- around here, it’s a
crime for a doll like you to be alone at the festival.”

I:  “Ooh!”

Man:  “Please don’t ignore me.  I’ve got better lines.”

I:  “I think she’s heard all of _your_ lines.”

Enf:  “Where is Hercules?”

I:  “He’s not here.”

Man’s Voice:  “_All_ the women want Hercules.”

I:  “Wait a minute.  You’re the Enforcer.  You’re supposed to be

Enf:  “I’m back.”

I:  “Everybody, get outta here!  Get outta here!  Quick as you
can!  You get to Hercules-- over my dead body!  Over my strong


I:  “Ahhhhhhh!  Ow!  Oh!  Ahh!  Ooh!  No blood.”

Man:  “Uh-- Iolaus-- come on.”

I:  “Ahhhhhhhhh!  Ahhh!”

Enf:  “Hercules.”



H:  “Hmm-- we should get back to the festival.  I’m sure they
could use our help.”

Nem:  “You’re always doing something for others.  You should do
something for yourself, every once in a while.”

H:  “Well, it’s my-- nature-- hmm.”

Nem:  “I’m sure the festival survived without you for one
night-- and so did Greece.  You need to allow yourself some
happiness.  You deserve it.”  [They chuckle.]

I:  “Hercules.”

H:  “Iolaus!”

I:  “The Enforcer-- she’s alive.”


Man’s Voice:  “She’ll destroy all of us!”

Woman’s Voice:  “She can’t be stopped!”


Nem:  “You have got the courage that the gods lack, Iolaus.”

I [Chuckles]:  “Yeah, I would have won-- but she’s-- not human.”

Nem:  “Well, she’s of the gods.”

I:  “Yeah-- under her flesh-- it’s w-- water-- she’s made of

H:  “Mmm-- that’s why she didn’t die when I fought her.  She--
fell off a cliff and disintegrated.  I thought she was
destroyed, but she must have re-formed in the ocean.”

I:  “Well-- h-how are we gonna defeat her?”

H:  “I don’t know.  Water’s the most powerful force on Earth.
It can move mountains, sink continents-- mm-mm-- but everyone’s
got a weakness.”

Nem:  “Whatever you wanna do, I’m there for you, Hercules.”

H:  “No, not now-- not when you’re mortal.  You could wind up
like Iolaus, or worse.”

Nem:  “You’re not the only one who has a bone to pick with

H:  “Nemesis, you could die.  I won’t take that risk.”


Man:  “There you go.”

Another Man:  “Thanks.”

Enf:  “Where is Hercules?”

Men’s Voices:  “Come with me!”  “She’ll destroy all of us!”


I:  “Thanks.  You know, Hercules, it’s not your fault-- that I
got hurt.  I mean, I-- I chose to fight her.”

H:  “I know.  Don’t worry-- I’ll get her.”

I:  “Uh, maybe you shouldn’t.”

H:  “Why not?  I mean, she’s not gonna _stop_ coming after me.
Nemesis, stay here w-- she’s gone after the Enforcer.”

I:  “Go.”


[Someone belches.]

Enf:  “Where is Hercules?”

Man’s Voice:  “She’s been shot!”

Nem:  “I thought that would get your attention.”

Man:  [Screams]

Nem:  “If you want Hercules, follow me.”

A Man’s Voice:  “Stay with me!”

Nem:  “Come on-- Hercules is in the forge.”

Woman’s Voice:  “Over here!”


Man’s Voice:  “I’ve got it.”

Nem:  “Hey-- up here!”

Man’s Voice:  “Back to work!”

Nem:  “You’ve gotta go through me to get to Hercules.”


Woman:  “Oh!  Let me help you!”

H:  “Nemesis!”

Man’s Voice:  “Help me!”


Man’s Voice:  “Is she all right?!”

H:  “Wrong person, lady!  Remember me?”

Enf:  “Hera says, ‘Kill Hercules.’”

H:  “Yeah, I know-- but she never has the courage to say it to
my face.”


H:  “Nemesis.”

Nem:  “Mmm.  Mmm-- mm.  Mmm.  Mm.”


H:  “I’m glad to see that you’re feeling better.”

Nem:  “Hmm-- well, becoming mortal has brought with it many--
new complications.”

H:  “Hmm.”

Nem:  “I think I need to spend some time alone, to figure out--
where I should go next.”

H:  “I’ll miss you.”

Nem:  “Well, you know, Hercules, the new me could find out that
I love you even more-- and then I would _make_ you fit me into
your life.”

H:  “Really?  I’d like that.  Goodbye, Nemesis.”

Nem:  “Goodbye.”

I:  “Aw-- that was excellent work on the goodbye kiss.  You
know?  If you really want a relationship to last-- it’s crucial
to develop the goodbye kiss.”

H:  “Hmm-- well, it’s always-- nice to hear from an expert on

I:  “Yeah.  Ah, ow!”

H:  “Oh-- ”

I:  “Ah.”

H:  “Sorry, Iolaus.”

I:  “Oh.”


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