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“Prince Hercules”  Episode 45/308


I [Sings]:  “-- golden sandals [?]-ing the ground!
Came the [?] of muses!
Filling the hills of the Centaurs!  Whoo!
The echoing woods!”  [Laughs]

H:  “You’re not excited about this festival, are you?”

I:  “What’s not to get excited about?  Beautiful women?  You
know?  Games?  Wine-tasting?  Beautiful women?  Great food?
Beautiful women?”  [Laughs]

H:  “Yeah.  Will Electra be there?”

I:  “Maybe.”

H:  “Maybe that’s why you’re singing-- off-key, I might add.”

I:  “Wait a second.  I was _not_ sing-- ”

Thug’s Voice [Interrupts]:  “Hand over your money.”

Styros [Sty]’s Voice:  “We have no money!  We’re poor

I:  “Man-- wherever we go!”  [Not sure of this line]

H:  “It’s amazing, isn’t it?”

Thug’s Voice:  “Can’t fight back, huh?”

H:  “Is there a problem, here?”

Thug’s Voice:  “No, we’re just having a little discussion!”

I:  “Ah.  See?  We _love_ discussions.”


I:  “Whaddya wanna try next?”

H:  “Thermopylae.”

I:  “Oh, no.”

H:  “One!”

I:  “Two!  Three!”

Thugs’ Voices:  “Let’s get outta here!”  “Come on!”  “Run!”
“They’re like a two-man army!”

H:  “It still works.”

I:  “Yeah-- if you’re 18.”  [Laughs]

H:  “Don’t worry.  They won’t bother you, anymore.”

Sty:  “Lahti and I can’t thank you enough.”

Lahti [Lah]:  “We’re on our way to Kastus.  If we’d known the
road was full of bandits-- we would have _paid_ for escorts.”

H:  “W-well-- how about if _I_ escort you there?”

I:  “Yeah-- we’ll do it for free.”

H:  “We?  I thought you were in a hurry to get to the festival.”

I:  “Well, yeah, but-- ”

H:  “No-- Iolaus, I can-- walk ‘em both there.”

I:  “OK!”

H:  “Hey!”

I:  “Hey!”

H:  “Uh-- I’ll catch up with you later.”

I:  “You-- sure?  Yeah.  OK.”

H:  “He loves festivals.  Shall we go?”


Queen Parnassa [Par]:  “Great Hera-- as your special day
approaches, I appeal to you.  The people of Kastus and I have
served you well.  But since my son’s death, we have lost our
former honor and glory.  Help restore us to our previous power--
that we may serve you better.  Please-- show us a sign-- that we
may know what you have in store for us.  Ah-h-h.”  [Laughs]


Lonius [Lon]:  “Queen Parnassa?”

Par:  “Lonius-- our prayers are answered.  Hera’s sending someone
to restore our kingdom to its former glories.”

Lon:  “Who, my lady?”

Par:  “A warrior without equal-- one who will make our kingdom

Lon:  “Please, my lady-- his name.”

Par:  “Hercules.”


Lah:  “It’s awfully nice of you to accompany Styros and me to

H:  “My pleasure.”

Sty:  “We’ve worked too long and _hard_ to give up our life
savings to bandits.”

Lah:  “You know-- we’ve thanked you, but-- we haven’t even
learned your name.”

Sty:  “Whoa!”

H:  “Look out!  Ah-h-h-h!  Oh-h-h!”

Sty:  “It’s stone!”

Lah:  “That’s quite a knock you took there.  You all right?”

H:  “I’m-- fine.  Once my head stops pounding.  Thanks for your

Lah:  “That’s _twice_ you’ve saved our lives.”

Sty:  “And we still don’t know your name.”

H:  “Neither do I.”



H:  “Ah.”

Lah:  “This-- may not help you remember your name, but it should
keep the swelling down.”

Sty:  “We better get going, Lahti.  We must make Kastus by

H:  “Kastus?”

Lah:  “Ring a bell?”

H [Sighs]:  “No.”


Lon:  “My lady-- I can’t see how this can possibly work.  Doesn’t
Hera want Hercules dead?!”

Par:  “This is better than dead.  To lose his memory-- his
identity-- and spend the rest of his days serving his

Lon:  “But even if she does rob Hercules of his memory, the
people of Kastus still have theirs.  _They_ won’t believe he’s
their long-lost prince.”

Par:  “Why not?  Prince Milius has been gone from us for five
years.  We’ve kept his death from them for _half_ that time.
They _want_ to believe he’s alive.  Don’t you see?  These people
don’t care who leads them.  They just want to be led.”

Lon:  “Perhaps.  But there’s always a few.”

Par:  “Well-- it’ll be your job to keep the streets free of
doubtuhs [sic].  All we need is three days.  If we can convince
Hercules that he is Prince Milius-- get him to pledge his loyalty
to Hera-- on equinox day-- he’ll be hers-- on ours-- forever.”


Garas [Gar]:  “Now, that’s insane.  We’ll never get away with it.
The soldiers know what Milius looks like.”

Lon:  “Soldiers follow orders.”

Gar:  “And the townspeople?”

Lon:  “Live in fear of the soldiers.  How often did they ever get
to see their prince, anyway?”

Gar:  “Yeah, but this Hercules-- I-I can’t see how-- ”

Lon:  “Well, you’d better see!  Unless you want to incur the
wrath of your queen-- or Hera-- it would be smart to cooperate.”

Soldier:  “Sir-- travellers approaching.”

Lon:  “Just as Parnassa said.  Garas-- get ready to meet your new

Sty:  “You don’t remember any of your past.”

H [Sighs]:  “All I can see are-- blank faces.”

Lah:  “Styros?  Who was that cute little man he was travelling

H:  “I was-- travelling with a cute little man?”

Lah:  “Blond-- blue-eyed-- said he was going to a festival.
Don’t you remember his name?”

Sty:  “No.”

Lon:  “Milius!  Prince Milius!  By the gods!  You’re alive!”

Gar:  “Our prince has come back to us!”

H:  “E-excuse me?”

Lon:  “My lord.  [Chuckles]  My friend!  I can’t _believe_ that
you’ve _survived_ all these years!”

Gar:  “Welcome back, Sire.”

Sty:  “You know this man?”

Gar:  “Fool!  This is Prince Milius!  Returned to us from the
war-- by the mercy of the gods.”

H:  “No, no.  Please, please.  I mean-- I’m sorry, but I don’t
know who you’re talking about.”

Lon:  “Oh-h-h, Garas-- he doesn’t remember us.”

Gar:  “Must be-- shock-- or war wound.”

Lon:  “Oh-- come my prince.  You’re in safe hands, now.”

H:  “Where are we going?”

Lon:  “Your castle.  Your kingdom?!  Huh?!”]

H:  “Uh-- so I’m a-- prince.”

Gar:  “This way, Sire.”

Lon:  “Come along, now.”

Sty:  “I knew he was royalty.  I could tell by the way he handled

Lah:  “Mmm-- hmm!”


Lon:  “Sire.”

Par:  “Millius!  Ha-ha-ha!  My son!  Ha-ha!  [Sighs]  Thank Hera!

H:  “You’re-- my mother.”

Lon:  “He’s lost his memory, my queen.”

Gar:  “Undoubtedly from the war.”

Par:  “Well-- that doesn’t matter.  The important thing is--
you’re safe!  Ha-ha!  Your memory will return in time, and-- your
wife can help in that area.”

H:  “Wife?”

Kirin [Kir]:  “Milius [Sighs]-- I thought you’d never return.”

H:  “I’m-- I-I’m sorry, I-- ”

Kir:  “Is something wrong?”

Par:  “He can’t remember anything, Kirin-- something to do with
the war.  He’ll need your help.”

Kir:  “Yes-- we have a lot of catching up to do, then.  Your sons
can’t wait to see you.”

H:  “Sons.”


Kir:  “Boys-- go give your father a hug.”

H:  “They-- seem a little uncomfortable.”

Kir:  “They don’t remember you.  Macareus was only two when you
left, and I was carrying Protos.”

H:  “Why don’t you two guys-- show me your toys.”

Protos [Pro]:  “OK.”

Macareus [Mac]:  “’K.”

H:  “That-- broke the ice.”


Man’s Voice:  “I’ve got it.  Thanks.”

Woman’s Voice:  “Archer!”

Man’s Voice:  “How about a small wager?”

Woman’s Voice:  “Small wager, perhaps?”

Man’s Voice:  “Ten dinars for the archer on the left.”

Juris [Jur]:  “Iolaus!”

I:  “Juris!”

Jur [Interrupts]:  “Good to see you!  Where’s Hercules?!”

I:  “Oh, you know-- off being heroic-- creating the stuff that
legends are made of.  He’ll be along soon.”

Jur:  “I hope so.  The festival wouldn’t be the same without

I:  “Yeah.”

Jur:  “Looking for Electra?”

I:  “No?  Is she here?”

Jur:  “Yeah-- and she’s looking for you.”

I:  “Really?”

Jur:  “She wants you to meet her cousin!”


H [Wrestling with boys]:  “Whoa!  Wha!  Two against one!  OK--
oh!  I give up!  I give up!  Hey!  Hey!  Watch it!  Hey!  Uh!
You little-- !”

Kir:  “Boys-- it’s time for bed.”

H:  “Oh.”

Boys:  “Aw-w-w-w-- ”

Kir:  “Now, kiss your father good night, and--go wash up.”

Pro:  “Good night, Father.”

H:  “Good night.”

Mac:  “Good night, Father.”

H:  “Good night, boys.  Sweet dreams.”

Boy’s Voice:  “Good night, Mom.”

Kir:  “I’ll be in in a minute.”

Boy’s Voice:  “OK.”

H:  “Huh-- along with everything else, I’d forgotten how much I
miss my family.”

Kir:  “You’re very good with them.”

H:  “They’re good kids.”

Kir:  “Well, they should be.  They’re your sons.”

H:  “Uh, yeah.”

Kir:  “Hmm.  Is anything coming back?”

H [Sighs]:  “I, uh-- I-- I won’t lie to you.  You know, I-- I
have this sense-- you know?  This feels-- good-- and warm and--
natural, but every time I-- think back-- all I can see are blank

Kir:  “There’s no rush.  It’ll all come back.”

H:  [Sighs]

Kir:  “We have plenty of time.”

H [Whispers]:  “Yeah.”


Par:  “Your move-- ”

Lon:  “Thank you, my queen.”

Par:  “It’s working, Lonius.  I can feel it.  When the sun
strikes the Hera stone on equinox day-- and Hercules pledges his
loyalty-- he’ll do whatever we want.”

Lon:  “With a leader like Hercules-- Gorgos would be ours for the

Par:  “Forget Gorgos!  We’d rule the peninsula within a year.”

Lon:  [Groans]

Kir:  “My lady-- my I have a word?  In private.”

Par:  “What is it?  You look troubled.”

Kir [Sighs]:  “I can’t go through with this.”

Par:  “Why?  Does Hercules suspect something?”

Kir:  “No-- nothing.  It’s just that he’s-- nice-- decent.  It’s
not fair.”

Par:  “And was it fair that Milius was taken from us-- on the eve
of Kastus’ greatest victory?!”

Kir:  “No-- but I sense in Hercules a-- a longing-- for his own--
family.  To make him live this lie-- ”

Par:  “I’d worry about your own children.”

Kir:  “What are you saying?  You wouldn’t-- ”

Par:  “It’s a big castle, Kirin.  Accidents can happen.”


“Milius” [“Mil”]:  “Lonius, I appreciate your arranging this tour
for me, but, do we-- really need all these bodyguards?”

Lon:  “Uh, one can never be too cautious, my lord.  You have many
enemies in the neighboring kingdom of Gorgos.”

“Mil”:  “Why is that?”

Woman’s Voice [In Background]:  “Welcome home, Prince Milius.”

Lon [Interrupts]:  “Uh, it’s very complicated.  Uh, betrayal--
revenge.  Goes back generations.”

Man’s Voice:  “Sire.”

“Mil”:  “I’m still not comfortable with these-- clothes, or--
people bowing down to me.”

Lon:  “Ha-ha.  I’m sure it’ll grow on you, my lord-- as your
memory comes back.”

Man:  “Hey!  I know that man-- !”

Lon:  “Come, my lord.”

Man:  “-- and he’s not our prince!  I saw him in Corinth one-- ”

“Mil”:  “Why did he say that?”

Lon:  “Ah-- five years is a long time, my lord.  You know, you
look different now.  So don’t we all-- huh?  Ha-ha.  You-- you
remember Prince Milius, don’t you?”

A Man:  “Uh-- I’m not sure.”

Lon:  “You’re not?”

A Man:  “Oh-oh-uh-- I mean, uh-- o-of course, I do.  It’s just
that-- w-without his beard-- my lord-- ”

“Mil”:  “No, no.  Please, please.  Stand.”

Lon:  “This way, my lord.”

Man’s Voice:  “Come on, you.”

Lon:  “I think we can get through here.  Aah!  Damn!  These
alleys all look the same.”




Lon:  “Just like old times, huh?!  After them!  Don’t let ‘em get

Soldier [Sold]:  “Yes, sir!”

“Mil”:  “What was that all about?”

Sold’s Voice:  “Over there!”

Lon:  “Come on.  I recognized one of them.  They were sent from
Gorgos to assassinate you.  Let’s get back to the palace.”


Jur:  “Why so glum, Iolaus?!  You should be enjoying yourself!”

I:  “Hercules should have been here by now.”

Jur:  “Y-you’re worried about Hercules?  If _he_ can’t take care
of himself-- who can?!”

I:  “Huh.  Yeah, I guess.”

Jur:  “Yeah.  Come on.  You’re judging the grape-picking race.”

I:  “No, I don’t think so.”

Jur:  “Electra’s in it.”

I:  “OK, uh!  When I start banging the drum-- you all start
picking the grapes!”

Women:  “All right!”

I:  “First one to the end-- wins!  Everybody ready?!”

Women’s Voices:  “I’m ready!”  “Then we must hurry.”  “Yeah.”
“We’re ready!”

I [Interrupts]:  “You ready?  Go!”

Men’s Voices:  “Come on, Electra!  Show ‘em how it’s done!”  “Go,
woman!  My money’s on you!”

I [Chuckles]:  “A kiss!  For the winner!  Whoo-hoo-hoo!”

Woman’s Voice:  “Faster!  Faster!”

I:  “Yeah!  You’re gonna win!  Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!  And the winner
is-- !”


Par:  “So-- how did our little ruse work?”

Lon:  “It almost didn’t.  This Hercules-- he’s better than they
say he is.  We’re lucky we didn’t lose anyone.”

Par:  “But now he considers Gorgos his enemy.”

Lon:  “Oh-h-h, yes.”

Par:  “Good.  With a prince who can lead his soldiers by
example-- the other provinces will fall like dominoes.”


I:  “OK!  Everybody ready for the grape-crushing competition?!”

People:  [Cheer]

I:  “On your marks!  Get set!  Crush!”

Men’s Voices:  “Hurray!”  “Come on!  Get into it!”  “Hi, Iolaus!”
“Come on!”  “Come on!  I’m counting on you!”

Big Woman:  “Come here, sweetie!”

Man’s Voice:  “A little higher!”


“Mil”:  “Tell me something.  How did we meet?  It might-- help me
to remember.”

Kir:  “Well-- um-- one day I was in a field picking flowers--
and, uh-- I looked up and there you were, staring down at me.”

“Mil”:  “Hmm.”

Kir:  “You said that there was, um-- that you had never seen
anything more beautiful than those flowers.  [Laughs]  I was sh-I
was shocked that a-- a prince could talk to a commoner like

“Mil”:  “There’s nothing common about you.”

Kir:  “Oh-ho-ho-- you sent me flowers every day during our
courtship-- dozens of them.  You even-- scattered flower petals
on our bed on our wedding night.  Is any of this coming back to

“Mil” [Sighs]:  “I get these glimpses-- but-- I still can’t see
any faces.”

Kir:  “Maybe this will help.”

“Mil” [Sighs]:  “Kirin-- you’re very attractive-- and, I-I-I-I
feel you’re a good person, but-- see, I’d rather wait-- see--
un-until I get my memory back.  Can you understand that?”

Kir:  “Of course.”


I:  “Oh!  And, uh-- the winner-- of the grape-crushing

Jur:  “Iolaus!  You’ll never believe what this crazy old coot
told me!  He said he saw’r [sic] Hercules-- dressed as a prince.”

Man:  “I’m telling you it was him!  Plain as day!  I met him in
Corinth years ago-- and I know Hercules when I see him.”

I:  “W-w-w-w-- you saw Hercules?”

Man:  “Yeah.”

I:  “Where?”

Man:  “In Kastus!  In royal robes, no less.  And not enjoying it
very much, if you ask my opinion.  They tried to shut me up,
but-- aah-- they don’t scare me.”



H’s Voice:  “Aeson, come here!  Hey-- Ilea!  Oh, no-- let’s find
your mother first.”

Deianeira’s Voice:  “I love you.”  [Awakes]

Kir:  “Are you OK?  Shh.”

“Mil”:  “What a strange dream.”

Kir:  “Dream about what?”

“Mil”:  “I-- nothing, nothing.  I-- I think-- I’ll take a walk.
Maybe it’ll-- clear my head.”


Man’s Voice:  “Sire?  Oh-- ”

“Mil”’s Voice:  “No.”

Man’s Voice:  “Please.”

“Mil”’s Voice:  “Get up.”

A Man:  “Sire.”

“Mil”:  No-- don’t-- ”

Men’s Voices:  “Did you see that?”  “Yes.”  “The prince himself.”

“Mil”:  “Excuse me.  No-- don’t.  Do you-- do you recognize me?”

Old Man:  “No, my lord.  But I really-- didn’t see much of you
before you went off to the wars.”

Men’s Voices:  “It’s not our place to mix with the likes of

Old Man:  “Ha-ha.”

“Mil”:  “But-- you do remember seeing me before the war.  Do I
look the same?”

Old Man:  “No-- but you had a beard then.”

Lon:  “Prince Milius!  Ha-ha-ha-ha.  We were looking all over for
you, my lord.  You had the queen and your wife worred.”

“Mil”:  “Well, I thought I might take a little unguided tour.”

Lon:  “Not a wise choice without a bodyguard.  You never know
when your enemies may strike again.  Let’s have a drink.  There’s
a tavern up ahead.  You really must be more careful.”


I:  “Man.  Excuse me.  Have you seen a guy-- big guy-- ?”

Sold’s Voices:  “Go away!”

Man:  “Yes, sir!”

Lon:  “This is the place, my lord.”

“Mil”:  “Ah.”

I:  “Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!  You told me you saw Hercules
dressed like a prince.  Now, I have been searching for him
_everywhere_, and I still can’t find him!”

Man:  “Have you tried the palace?”

I [Mockingly]:  “‘Have you tried the palace?’  Palace.  Come on,
Iolaus-- get a brain.”


Gar:  “Off limits-- royalty inside.”

Man:  “That’s no royalty!  That’s Hercules!  I met him in Corinth
once.  Oh!”

I:  “Hey, what’s going on here?!”

Gar:  “Stay out of this!”

I:  “Yeah-- ”


I:  “Oh!  About time you show!  What’s-- with the c-clothes?!”

Gar:  “I-- I think the little guy knows him.”

Lon:  “I was afraid of this, my lord.  I think we have another

“Mil”:  “Why is he purple?”

Lon:  “Insanity?  Birth defect?  Who knows?  But I think-- you
should get rid of him-- once-- and for all.”



Lon:  “Kill him, my lord.  He’s your enemy.”

“Mil”:  “This doesn’t feel right.  Escort this man to the
border-- unharmed-- as a gesture of peace.”

Lon:  “But, my lord-- he was sent from Gorgos-- to assassinate

“Mil”:  “You heard my wishes.”

Lon:  “Do as your prince commands!”

Sold’s Voice:  “Yes, sir!”

Lon:  “Have them take him down an alley-- and when he’s out of
sight-- have them kill him.”


Sold’s Voice:  “The streets are empty here.  This is as good a
place as any.”


Par:  “What is it now, Lonius?”

Lon:  “I’m not so sure your prince will lead us into battle after

Par:  “If you’re still worried about the people of Kastus
accepting him as their prince, then don’t.  After the ceremony--
it won’t make any difference.”

Lon:  “Oh-- we have bigger problems than that.”

Par:  “What?  He regained his memory?”

Lon:  “Hah-- worse.  Instead of _invading_ Gorgos-- your Prince
Hercules-- wants to make peace.”

Par:  “We just need one more day.  Once Hercules vows his
allegiance to Hera-- it won’t matter what he thinks.  He’ll be
under her spell-- and do whatever she commands.”


Lon:  “Thin firing slots and the armor make it almost impossible
for spears and arrows to penetrate.”

Sold’s Voice:  “Everything’s functioning well.”

“Mil” [Interrupts]:  “Who thinks up these days?”

Lon:  “Ingenious, isn’t it?  A combination of levers and pulleys
can fire a spear-- through a house.”

Sold’s Voice:  “Fire!”

Lon:  “Ha-ha-ha-ha.  Impressive, huh?”

“Mil”:  “I still don’t understand why you’d wanna do this.”

Solds’ Voices:  “What’s going on?!”  “Something’s wrong with the
horses!”  “Rein them in before we lose them!”

Lon:  “What are you idiots doing?!  Get back here!”

I:  “Psst!”

“Mil”:  “What are you doing here?”

I:  “I’m trying to figure out what’s going on.  Why did you hit
me before?”

“Mil”:  “Well-- you were trying to hurt my friend.”

I:  “_I’m_ your friend!”

“Mil” [Sighs]:  “Why are you purple?”

I:  “What does it matter?!  Oh-- .  You really can’t remember who
you are?”

“Mil”:  “No, it’s-- nothing.”

I:  “That’s crazy!  You’re-- you’re Hercules!  Son of Zeus!  The
slayer of the Minotaur, the Hydra!”

“Mil”:  “I’m sorry, but that-- doesn’t ring a bell.”

I:  “OK.  OK, OK, uh-- don’t panic.  Uh-- we gotta jog your
memory.  Um-- you remember-- the Cyclops?”

“Mil”:  “No.”

I:  “The Stymphalian bird?”

“Mil”:  “Stymph-- mmm-- sorry.”

I [Sighs]:  “OK, uh-- Typhon, Echidna.  Uh-- Salmoneus-- yeah?”

“Mil”:  “No.”


Solds’ Voices:  “Easy.  Easy.”  “Come on, come on.  Get out of
there.”  “Help get this fixed.”

Lon:  “Hurry up.  Be careful.”

I:  “We were all arguing.  Remember?”

Lon:  “I thought he was dead.  Get him!”

Solds’ Voices:  “Come on!”  “Let’s go!”

I:  “So you were swallowed by a sea monster.  Then you were--
spat out!”


I:  “And then-- you rescued a girl from a kitten that sounded
like a monster!  And what about the time-- I got-- struck by
lightning!  And-- you fell in love?!  And I could see the future!
And then!  You fought yourself-- when Proteus was disguised as
you!  Only-- it wasn’t you!  It was-- it was this ugly, ugly
_thing_!  Because your mother taught you-- to be polite-- no
matter what!  And so-- what happened-- Thanis-- had to come in--
and-- uh!  Oh, not again!”

“Mil”:  “He’s quite a story-teller.”

Lon:  “Story-tellers don’t look like grapes.  This guy’s crazier
than a Harpy.”

“Mil”:  “Oh, we should-- probably lock him up for his own good.”

Solds:  [Screams]  “Get him out of there!”

“Mil”:  “Go on!  Get back!  Get him out of there!”

Sold’s Voice:  “Amazing.”

Lon:  “You-- you always were uncommonly storng, my lord.”

“Mil”:  “I was?”


Par:  “Just one more night, my dear.  That’s all.”

Kir:  “What about the purple man who says he knows him?”

Par:  “He won’t live to see the morning.  My dear Kirin-- after
the sun strikes the Hera stone tomorrow-- you’ll be joined to one
of the world’s liveing legends.  And-- one day-- after I’m gone--
you’ll rule-- as king and queen-- a throne that eventually-- will
go to one of your sons.  If you can’t do this for me-- or
yourself-- do it for _them_.”

Kir:  “The same sons you threatened to kill.”

Par:  “These have been stressful times-- and, sometimes I say
things I come to regret, but-- you must know-- I would never,
_ever_-- harm my grandchildren.  Now, go.  Do what you must.”


Kir:  “You’ve done wonders for the children.  They’ve really
missed having a father.”

“Mil”:  “I feel like there’s been a lot missing out of my life,
too.  These are for you.”

Kir:  “Oh, that’s very sweet.”

“Mil”:  “You-- say it as if I’ve never done anything like this

Kir:  “No, it’s just that he-- I-I mean, you-- y-you were never
s-so-- so kind and gentle before-- the war.  The war must have
changed you.”

“Mil”:  “How could I have ever treated you differently?”

Kir:  “I think I’m falling in love with you-- all over again.”

“Mil”:  “I still can’t recall our past-- but the way I feel about
you-- I don’t think I can wait until I do.”

Kir:  “Then don’t-- don’t wait.”



Sold:  “I could get in a lot of trouble for this, my lady.”

Kir:  “Don’t be insolent.”

I:  “Who are you?”

Kir:  “I’m Princess-- Kirin-- Milius’ wife.  Why are you purple?”

I:  “I like it.  Whaddya want?”

Kir:  “I wanna know-- about your friend.”

I:  “Hercules-- why?”

Kir:  “Because-- I’m in-- love with him, and I think he’s in love
with me.”

I [Whispers]:  “Oh, great.”

Kir’s Voice [Screams]:  “Guard!  Please!  Come!

I:  “Put down your sword-- and open the door.  OK-- back, back,
back, back, back, back, back, back.  Now, don’t make a sound-- or
I’ll kill her.

Gar:  “What is going on here?”

I:  “You behave-- or your princess dies.”

Gar:  “Who cares?”

Kir:  “You pig!”


Gar:  “Oh-h-h-h!”

Kir:  “Swine!”

Sold:  “Oh-h-h!”

I:  “Come on!”


Kir:  “He’s gone.  They must already be preparing him for the
vows of allegiance.”

I:  “Will Hera’s priests be attending the ceremony?”

Kir:  “Of course.”

I:  “OK-- here’s what we’re gonna do.”


Par:  “I’m proud of you, my son.  You’ve memorized your pledge?”

“Mil”:  “Yes-- Mother.”

Lon:  “My queen-- purple man has escaped.”

Par:  “Let’s not take any chances.  Close off the ceremony to all
outsiduhs [sic].  Mm-hmm-- let the ceremony-- begin.  We gather
once more-- to pledge our loyalty to Hera-- our patron goddess--
and to thank her-- for delivering our Prince Milius back to us.
Today-- my son will show his gratitude-- by vowing his allegiance
to Hera-- asking-- for her guidance, as he leads us in battle--
that we may _vanquish_ our enemies.  My prince?”

“Mil”:  “On this-- the first day-- of the autumnal equinox-- I
vow my allegiance-- to-- I vow my allegiance to-- ”

I:  “Hercules, don’t.  Remember Deianeira.”

“Mil”:  “Deianeira?”

Kir:  “Your real wife-- and Aeson, Clonus, and Ilea-- your

“Mil”:  “My children.”

Par:  “You see?  It’s too late.”

H:  “Hera-a-a-a-a-a!”

Par:  “Kill him!  Kill them all!”


Sold’s Voices:  “Get him!”  “Over here!”  “Get him!”

I:  “Thermopylae!”

H:  “What?!”

I:  “One!  Two!  Three!”

H [Sighs]:  “That still works!”

I:  “This-- is for the tavern.  And this-- is for the field.”

H:  “And this-- is just on principle, friend.”

Par:  “You betrayed me!”  [Screams]

Solds’ Voices:  “Queen!”  “Come on!  With me!”  “All right!”

I:  “No!”

H:  “The queen is dead!  Put down your weapons!  As your prince--
I command you.”

Solds’ Voices:  “Come on.”  “Very well.”  “Let’s go!”

I:  “Hercules-- are you really back?”

H:  “Yes I am, Iolaus.  You know what?  You look _good_ in


Boy:  “Hercules, wait!  Wait for us!”

H [Laughs]:  “Now, you two-- you listen to your mother.  She’s
the new queen-- and good princes obey their queen, don’t they?”

Boys:  “Mm-hmm.”

H:  “Come on.  Give me a hug.”

Boys:  “Bye, Hercules.”  “I don’t want you to go.”

H:  “I’ll miss you.”

Pro:  “Goodbye.”

Mac:  “Bye.”

H:  “Bye.”

Man’s Voice:  “Atrius, get back here.”

Kir:  “And-- We’ll miss you.”

H [Sighs]:  “I’m sorry this can’t end differently.”

Kir:  “It could-- if you wanted it to.”

H:  “No.  You know what I do-- what my life is about.”

Kir:  “No, I know.  And I could never keep you from your destiny.
The world needs you too much.  Will you come back this way

H:  “I’ll come back this way again.”

Kir:  “I’ll think of you always.”

H:  “And I you.  Goodbye.”

I:  “Are you OK?”

H’s Voice:  “Yeah.”


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