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“Top God” Episode 80/421 [TEASER] [[[[[[Narrator: “Last time, on Hercules”: H: “Jason! I got here as fast as I could. Where is she?” Alcmene: “Not even the best healer’s gonna make a difference, Hercules. I’m dying.” I: “You know, you’re the best friend I-- and I’ve seen you do some things which I thought were impossible. But-- maybe there are some battles you just can’t win.” Alcmene: “You have made my life complete. I couldn’t have asked for a greater gift. I have no regrets.” H: “I love you, Mother.” Alcmene: “No regrets.” H: “Ahhhhhh!” Zeus: “I’m sorry, Son. Alcmene was a beautiful woman.” H: “Zeus.”]]]]]] ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Zeus: “Your mother was a good woman-- and she had a good life. But mortal life must end. It’s part of living.” H: “Sounds so empty, coming from you.” Zeus: “I don’t understand your attitude. I always tried not to interfere-- in her life-- and in yours.” H: “You did succeed in that. Congratulations.” Zeus: “Well, what would you have me do? Hmm? Intercede with the Fates? Stop old Atropos cutting your mother’s thread of life? That was destined from the moment she was born. It wasn’t mine to do.” H: “No-- she wouldn’t-- wouldn’t want special treatment for herself-- even though she treated everyone else that way. What do you want? Why are you here, now?” Zeus: “You’re at a turning point in your life. I want to help you.” H: “Ha-- you wanna help me. Did you care _anything_ for her?” Zeus: “That’s not what I’m here to talk about.” H: “Good answer, Dad.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- I: “How you doin’?” Jason: “Oh-- I’m OK. It’s tough.” I: “Yeah. Have you seen Hercules?” Jason: “Not for a while. He’s taking it hard.” I: “He loved her.” Jason: “Oh, we all did. I can’t believe she’s gone. I still hear her voice. Alcmene. She loved you like a son, Iolaus. She said it many times.” I: “Think we should look for him?” Jason: “I think he wants to be alone for awhile.” I: “I know he’s hurting. Wish I could help.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Zeus: “I cared for your mother-- a very great deal. Her sweetness-- and goodness-- filled my heart. And, um-- I’ll miss her smile.” H: “You could’ve let us know you cared-- let her know while she was still alive.” Zeus: “Oh, she knew-- I was always a great deal closer than you thought. But, I couldn’t be a father to you. That’s why her being your mother was so important.” H: “This, uh-- sentimental streak is a little hard to swallow-- and a little late.” Zeus: “But not too late. I’m your father. You’re my son. It’s time we both acknowledged that.” H: “Ha-ha. So-- so, what do you wanna do, Dad? You wanna go, uh-- fishing-- build a birdhouse? Maybe go to the pond and feed the ducks?” Zeus: “Your mother is gone! You have no more family left here. It’s time for you to take your rightful place.” H: “And that would be?” Zeus: “By my side-- ruling the gods of Olympus.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- [ACT I] H: “Me and you on Olympus. Now, what would be the point of that?” Zeus: “To bring us togeher.” H: “Oh.” Zeus: “You’ll rule beside me, over all the gods. Give up your mortal self and become a god-- full and complete. It’s within my reach to do that.” H: “I know it is. You can give it, and you can take it away. But, we’ve been through this before. Olympus and I are not a good match.” Zeus: “That was a _long_ time ago. Things are different, now. You’re different. You were young then, making young mistakes.” H: “I was trying to impress a father who wasn’t there.” Zeus: “Fine-- the fault was mine. Believe that if you want. But, you had no idea who you were then.” H: “And now I do.” Zeus: “And now you do. You’re the champion of mankind-- in a world that’s frequently not fair and always, not easy. The people know they can count on you. But, now it’s time for your next step. Your true destiny-- is on Olympus.” H: “There are too many people who count on me down here.” Zeus: “You’d be more their champion than ever. And we’d-- we’d have a chance to get to know each other.” H: “There was a time that would have meant a lot to me. I’m not so sure anymore.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Y Jason: “Whoa. Whoa.” Y H: “I know all the legends about Zeus. But when I ask what’s he like-- all I get are blank looks.” Y Jason: “Yesterday, you were through with Zeus. ‘If I’m nothin’ to him, then he’s nothin’ to me.’” Woman: “This is very good.” Y Jason: “Does that sound familiar?” Y H: “Yeah.” Y Jason: “Huh?” Y H: “I know, I know. But, I mean, he’s my father. You got a chance to know your dad before he died, right? Never even met mine.” Y Jason: “What if you could? What would you say?” Y H: “I don’t know. At least, I’d be able to see him, though. You know, and I could get an idea of what I had to measure up against.” Y Jason: “He’s-- king of the gods. Those are some pretty big shoes to fill. Here we go.” Y H: “Your dad was the king of Corinth. So-- by watching him, you got an idea of what was expected of you-- right?” Y Jason: “Yeah.” Y H: “Well, that’s why I wanna meet Zeus. I wanna know what’s in store for _me._ Plus, I kinda wanna know my dad.” 1st Man’s Voice: “Hey, if it isn’t Apollo’s gal-pal.” Ariadne’s Voice: “Stop it!” 2nd Man’s Voice: “She’s too good-- ” Ariadne’s Voice: “Go away!” 2nd Man’s Voice: “-- for mere mortals like us!” Ariadne’s Voice: “Hey! Give it back! My purse! Leave me alone!” 1st Man: “Here, catch!” 2nd Man: “Whoa!” 1st Man: “Ooh-- Ariadne’s gettting mad!” Ariadne: “Uh!” 1st Man: “What’s the matter? Aren’t we good enough for ya?” Y H: “You guys are a little short in the manners department. He apologizes.” [Fight] Y Jason: “Enjoy the rest!” Thugs: “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” “Ahhhhhhhhh!” “Ahhhhhhhh!” Man: “A-ha!” Thugs: “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!” Apollo: “Whoo-hoo-hoo! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Whooo! Whooo! Hey, Hercules. Nice moves, Brother.” Y H: “Nice moves yourself-- Brother?” Apollo: “I’m Apollo!” Y Jason: “If he’s Apollo, how is it I can see him?” Apollo: “Hey, when ya got it, flaunt it.” Woman’s Voice: “[?] board!” Y H: “This is Jason, uh-- king of Corinth.” Apollo: “Heard a lot about you, Herc.” Y H: “You have.” Apollo: “When Zeus and Hera are around each other-- your name comes up a lot.” Y H: “Zeus-- talks about me?” Apollo: “Aah, Hera does most of the talking, but hey-- ain’t that the way it is?” Ariadne: “Apollo-- you were wonderful.” Apollo: “Ariadne-- my brother, Hercules.” Ariadne: “Ooh-- are you a god, too?” Y H: “Uh-- well, kind of. We have the same father. This is Jason.” Apollo: “Come on-- let’s go meet some of the gang.” Y H: “Uh, Jas? What do ya think?” Y Jason: “Uh-- I got, I got-- yeah, I got stuff to do. Yeah, go on. It’ll give ya a chance to find out about Zeus.” Apollo: “We fly in style. I’ll take it easy, at first. You’ll get the hang of it pretty quick. “Whoo-hoo-hoo!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- 1st Man’s Voice: “This is the life!” 2nd Man’s Voice: “Tell me about it!” Woman’s Voice: “Help me. Help me. Thank you.” Apollo: “Here it is.” Woman’s Voice: “Mmmm, Apollo.” Apollo: “Hey. How ya doin’? Ha-ha-ha-ha! Momus! Good to see ya! Ha-ha. Kicked out of Olympus _again_, I hear!” Momus: “Gods can be such creeps. They’ve got no sense of humor. Can’t take the truth about themselves.” [Laughs] Apollo: “They might if you didn’t throw it in their faces.” Momus: “Oh.” [Laughs] Apollo: “Meet Hercules.” Momus: “You’re gonna give slumming a bad name. Perhaps it’s your mortal sweetie. Now, here’s Mr. Half-and-Half. [Laughs] Good to see ya.” Apollo: “Go powder your nose.” Y H: “I didn’t realize-- gods hung out with mortals like this.” Apollo: “They have their uses.” Momus: “Don’t mind if I do.” Apollo: “A little dab’ll do ya. Have some. It’s ambrosia.” Y H: “I thought only gods were supposed to eat that.” Apollo: “Come on, you’re the son of Zeus! You’re entitled! If not you, then who?! Welcome, Brother. No more half-god, half-mortal. You’re all god, now.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- [ACT II] Y H: “Hi.” Ariadne: “You look different. He gave you ambrosia.” Y H: “Yeah. Yeah, he did.” Ariadne: “Well-- what’s it like?” Y H: “I-- I don’t-- it’s like-- I- I can’t even describe it.” Ariadne: “Oh, I wish I were a god.” Y H: “You know, I’m the son of Zeus. The situation’s a little different. It’s OK. [Laughs] Hey, watch this. Oops.” Ariadne: “Didn’t your mother teach you not to play ball inside the house?” Y H: “Hey-- I wanna meet Zeus.” Apollo: “Later. Let’s go, before you totally trash my temple. I wanna see what you’ve got.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Male Voice: “Very amusing.” Woman’s Voice: “They’re both dreamboats!” Apollo: “Here it is-- you lose, you polish my board.” Y H: “All right-- but what if I win?” Apollo: “Then the board-- is yours.” Y H: “But, I’ve got this board.” Apollo: “It’s a board-- it’s not my board.” Ariadne: “Ready-- set-- go!” Y H: “Whoa!” Ariadne: “Go! Go! Go! Come on!” Apollo: “Not bad, Bro! Whoo-hoo! Careful, Bro. Ha-ha-ha-ha.” Y H: “Uh-uh-uh.” Apollo: “Yeah! Come on, catch up! Hey, hey!” Y H: “Yeah!” Apollo: “Whoa! Are ya chicken?” Y H: “Not today, Brother.” Apollo: “Whoo! Yeah!” Y H: “Ha-ha! Apollo: “Whoo-hoo!” Y H: “Yeah!” Apollo: “Whoo!” Y H: “Yeah!” Apollo: “That was awesome!” Y H: “Hoo, yeah! The best day of my life! Yeah!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- H: “This is the worst day of my life. I’ve never felt-- so-- . All I can do is-- put a marker at the place she’s buried. I wish I was more of a sculptor. But honestly, Iolaus, I-- I never believed this day would come.” I: “We should get away from this place. I mean-- everywhere you look-- another memory.” H: “I need those memories. I don’t wanna get away from them-- you know? It’s all I’ve got left of her.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Zeus: “Well?” H: “Well, what?” Zeus: “I need a decision-- yes or no.” H: “It’s not an easy decision to make.” Zeus: “Why not? It should be. It’s what your mother would want. You’re always fretting about the greater good for humanity. And this would be your opportunity. You could do so much more for them on Olympus. I need an answer.” H: “Need an answer right now? Well-- then it’s no.” Zeus: “Ah, don’t be foolish-- and hasty.” H: “An important part of this is us. Every time I really needed your help, you let me down. I’m not talking about a kid missing a Dad. I’m talking about my family dying-- and Serena dying, when you could’ve done something to stop it!” Zeus: “Ah, listen to yourself! ‘Poor me! Poor me!’ You’re better than that-- aren’t you?! Because if you’re not-- I’ve made a big mistake.” H: “Let’s say you have-- so you can be on your way like always.” Zeus: “I’ll give you time-- but not much.” I: “Hercules. Jason’s back. You up for some dinner?” H: “Zeus wants me to go to Olympus.” I: “Zeus? Wa-wait-- wait. You mean, Zeus was here? Like-- really here? Zeus?” H: “He was right here.” I: “Olympus, huh? For good?” H: “That’s what he’s got in mind.” I: “Yeah-- but, I mean-- you’re not going, are ya?” H: “He makes a a good argument for it.” I: “You are going? Herc-- I gotta tell ya, I think this is a _really_ bad idea.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Y H: “I thought you’d be as happy about this as I am.” Y Jason: “I’m thrilled for you. I really am.” Y H: “Think about it! I mean-- we can do-- anything.” Y Jason: “No, _you_ can do anything. You’re a god. That’s great. But I’m still a king. And right now, I’m very busy, so go take your little-- disappearing act somewhere else.” Y H: “What’s eatin’ you?” Y Jason: “Raiders from across the border-- if I go after ‘em, it could cause war, and if I don’t, I’ll look weak.” Y H: “Is that it? [Chuckles] Easy. Ooh! Ohh! Did you see that? It’s no problem, Man. I’ll take care of it.” Y Jason: “I don’t want you to take care of it! It’s my problem! I’ll deal with it!” Y H: “No-- your problem is-- you’re jealous.” Y Jason [Chuckles]: “Of you?” Y H: “Of me.” Y Jason: “Will you stop doing that?!” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Y H: “Yahhh!” Apollos: “Whoa! What happened to you?” Y H: “I just don’t understand some people. I mean, Jason is one of my best friends.” Ap: “And he resents you being a god.” Y H: “Yeah-- I-- think he does.” Apollo: “What can you do? Get used to it, pal. They all do. They may bring you an occasional basket of fruit to stay on your good side-- but face it! Mortals resent us. They won’t admit it-- but they do.” Y H: “Think so, huh?” Apollo: “You bet I do. Come on. Let’s go have some fun.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Y H: “This is great! They can’t see us!” Y Jason: “Straighten that helmet.” Apollo: “Get the belt.” Y Jason: “I’ve sent word to our neighbors-- we’re crossing the border-- after bandits. If you encounter soldiers, do not engage. Your commander-- has my letter to the ki-i-i-i-ing! Uh!” Soldier’s Voice: “Your Highness.” Y Jason: “Stay back! Stay back! Get back in line! Gosh!” Y H: “I’m sorry, Man, I didn’t mean to-- ” Y Jason: “Didn’t mean to what?! Embarrass me?! No thanks!” Apollo: “Come on. Let’s go.” Y H: “I’m sorry. I really am.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Apollo: [Laughs] Y H: “You shouldn’t have done that.” Apollo: “Me?! It was your idea!” Y H: “Didn’t mean to embarrass him like that. Took it too far. He’s a king.” Apoll: “He’s nothing!” Y H: “He’s my friend.” Apollo: “That’s the old you talking. You’re a god, now. Act like one.” Zeus: “What in Tartarus do you think you’re doing?!” Y H: “What?” Zeus: “I said-- ” Y H: “I heard what you said. What’s it to ya?” Zeus: “Now, _you_ watch your mouth, boy. You don’t speak to your father like that!” Y H: “You’re Zeus?” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- [ACT III] Y H: “You really Zeus?” Zeus: “Is there something wrong with your hearing? I just said I was, didn’t I? Oh, I’m _really_ disappointed in you, Hercules.” Y H: “What?! Why?! How?! We just met!” Zeus: “You should never have eaten ambrosia.” Y H: “Apollo said that is was-- ” Zeus: “I-- I don’t care what _he_ said! You should have known better!” Y H: “I-- I can’t believe this! You know, the only reason I did it was to find you.” Zeus: “If you were meant to be a god, you would have been born a god. You are what you were meant to be-- what the Fates destined you to be.” Y H: “You’re mad. I finally figured out a way to get your attention, and you’re mad.” Zeus: “Oh, you got my attention, all right-- but I don’t know if you’re gonna like it.” Y H: “I’m really sorry that the first time we met was like this. I can’t help that, now.” Zeus: “Well, I wouldn’t waste time feeling sorry for yourself.” Y H: “Not only for me-- I feel every bit as sorry for you.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Jason: “She would have loved it.” H: “Yeah.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- I: “Hercules, Jason and I have been talking, and, uh-- well, we understand that-- our friendship is gonna be part of whatever decision you make. And-- well-- what I said before about it being a bad idea? I was just being selfish. What I really want, is what’s best for you.” Jason: “We think it could be the right thing for you, Hercules-- to go to Olympus.” I: “Yeah-- maybe, Zeus was right.” H: “He is right. I think I could do better for mankind as a god. But Iolaus, so much would change.” Jason: “Yeah, going to Olympus would be a big step, you’re right. It would make a lot of things different.” I: “People would be better off with you-- you know-- up there.” Jasaon: “Yeah, that’s right. You’d be keeping Ares and Discord in line, right where they live.” I: “No more innocent mortals being caught in the cross-fire.” H: “Why are you trying to sell this to me?” Jason: “We’re not tryin’ to sell it. We’re-- tryin’ to make sure you look at it with open eyes.” I: “Herc-- we both know-- there’s an empty place in your heart where your father should be. And maybe Zeus has changed.” H: “Ha-ha-- no, why would you say that? I mean, what would make him change?” Jason: “You would.” I: “Yeah-- how you’ve lived your life-- what you’ve done with your life.” Jason: “You always say, ‘Follow you heart.’” I: “That’s what you should be doing now.” H: “In my heart, something tells me, this is-- the thing to do-- Mother really wanted me to make peace with Zeus-- but in my gut-- this-- becoming a god is, uh-- not to be taken lightly.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Ariadne: “Hey-- Hercules-- why are you walking? Gods don’t walk to get around.” Y H: “I do a lot of things gods don’t do.” Ariadne: “You do-- I noticed that. I think it’s nice you let people see you. Apollo only does it when he’s showing off.” Y H: “He does a _lot_ of that.” Ariadne: “You expect humility from the god they call, “the shining one.’? He’s just having fun.” Y H: “Usually at some poor-- helpless human being’s expense.” Ariadne: “And that would be me, I suppose. I’m not some-- helpless human. I happen to-- _like_ Apollo.” Y H: “More importantly, you should like yourself. Doesn’t it bother you the way he treats you?” Ariadne: “Maybe-- a little.” Apollo: “Well-- isn’t this sweet? You sure make a cute couple.” Ariadne: “We were only talking.” Apollo: “About my favorite subject-- me. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Hmm-- you like her, don’t you?” Y H: “Well, of course, I like her.” Apollo: “Well, I don’t mind sharing her.” Aridne: “Apollo!” Apollo: “Uh! Second thoughts-- she’s yours-- my gift to you. I hope you have as much fun with her as I did.” Ariadne: “Do I mean anything at all to you?” Apollo: “Sure, Honey-- you mean a good time.” Y H: “What’s wrong with you?” Apollo: “You wouldn’t have me lie to her, would you? What can I say? The truth hurts.” Y H: “How could you say that to her, though?” Apollo: “She’s only a human, Hercules. She means nothing to us. [Chuckles] We’re gods!” Y H: “Yeah-- we are.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Ariadne: “I thought you didn’t do that god stuff.” Y H: “I was in a hurry. About what Apollo said-- it doesn’t matter to me, and it shouldn’t to you.” Ariadne: “That’s not it. How could he say it? Uh-- I-I thought I meant more to him.” Y H: “Did you really?” Ariadne: “No. I guess I knew what I was to him. But-- a chance to play with gods-- and he paid attention to me. It was like-- being with Apollo would make me special, too. No, huh?” Y H: “I think you are special, Ariadne-- but not because of Apollo.” Woman’s Voice: [Scream] ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Apollo: “Hi, guys! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh, don’t go!” Woman’s Voice: “Hurry!” Apollo: “Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha-hah-hah! I’m ba-a-ack! Ha-ha. Whoo! Hoo-hoo! Ha-ha. Hey, Bro-- watch this! Heads up, baby Bro! Hey! You are _determined_ to spoil my fun.” Y H: “Looks that way.” Apollo: “I don’t get it. I open the ultimate door for you-- made you a god. This is how you say thanks?” Y H: “No-- no thanks. You did that for you-- not for me.” Apollo: “So what? Now you think you’re pretty hot stuff?” Y H: “Hot enough.” Apollo: “I’ll tell you what-- meet me this afternoon, and we’ll see who’s top god around here.” Y H: “One condition.” Apollo: “Ooh, what’s that? You want rules?” Y H: “No-- I win, you leave these people alone, for good.” Apollo: “OK. Easy enough. Get out of my way, idiots!” Zeus: “You’re getting under just about everyone’s skin, aren’t you?” Y H: “Well, charm seems to run in the family.” Zeus: “Well, Apollo will knock some of that cockiness out of you.” Y H: “I need to ask you for a favor.” Zeus: “No, I’m-- not gonna help you with the fight.” Y H: “I wasn’t meant to be a god. I don’t wanna _be_ one.” Zeus: “It’s a little late for that, isn’t it?” Y H: “Well, can’t you take it from me?” Zeus: “You’d be no match for Apollo-- unless you’re a god. Half mortal, half god-- you wouldn’t stand a chance.” Y H: “I’m willing to take that chance.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- [ACT IV] Y Jason: “Gettin, good. Gettin’ _real_ good.” Sparring Partner: “Ooh! Ahhhhh!” Y H: “Can I play?” Y Jason: “You’re not gonna disappear again on me, are ya? Nice job.” Sparring Partner: “Thanks.” Y H: “Nah-- not in that club anymore. Couldn’t pay the dues.” Y Jason: “Gettin’ better.” Y H: “Who? You or me?” Y Jason: “Both, I think.” Y H: “Listen, Man-- about the other day-- ” Y Jason: “Forget it.” Y H: “I-- I’m sorry, Man, I didn’t-- ” Y Jason: “I know. I knew then, and-- I know now.” Y H: “Good. Uh, I wanted ya to know. I gotta go.” Y Jason: “Where ya goin’?” Y H: “I need to settle somethin’ with Apollo.” Y Jason: “I’d like to see that. Mind some company?” Y H: “Thought you’d never ask.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Ariadne: “Hercules!” Apollo: “Glad you could make it, Bro.” Y H: “Let her down, now.” Apollo: “I want to make it interesting. You know-- raise the stakes? What have you done? You’ve lost your godhood.” Y H: “I haven’t lost anything-- gave it back.” Apollo: “Oh-- so I guess you wanna back out now, huh?” Y H: “Nobody’s backin’ out of anything. Let Ariadne go.” Apollo: “Go and get her.” [Fight] Y Jason: “Apollo! Uh!” Woman’s Voice: “Yeah!” Man’s Voice: “Let him have it, Apollo!” Woman’s Voice: “You’re the man!” Momus: [Laughs] Apollo: “Whoooooaaaa!” Momus: “You can tell he’s not one of us. He’s too good.” Apollo: “Whoooaaaaa! This is boring me. I’m outta here.” Ariadne: [Screams] Y H: “Are you OK? Can you stand up?” Ariadne: “Yeah. Thank you. I am _so_ grateful. You saved my life. And you opened my eyes.” Y H: “You’re gonna be just fine, Ariadne.” Ariadne: “Yeah, I think so. But-- I feel bad about you. I mean-- you had a chance to be with you father. And you lost it.” Y H: “Well, not altogether. Being a god isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Hard lesson, but-- one I’ll never forget.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- Zeus: “You learned a lot that day.” H: “I learned a lot about myself. I wanted to be something I wasn’t. Being a full god was not for me.” Zeus: “No-- not then.” H: “Were you disappointed that I turned my back on being a god? Turned my back on you?” Zeus: “I um-- I was never more proud. But you had other lessons to learn-- a life to live. You could see that even then. Well? Hmm? What’s your answer? Will you join me on Olympus?” H: “My friend. Hey. My brother. I’m ready to go.” ----------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------Click here to return to the HTLJ TOP GOD page.
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