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“Faith”  Episode 82/501


Men:  “Ahhhhhhh!”

Gilgamesh [Gil]:  “Go!  To the palace!  To the palace!  Hurry!
Follow me!  Follow me!  Ahh!  No.  Go to the palace!  Where you
going?!  Go!  Go to the palace!”

Man:  Ah!  Ah!  Ah!  Ahh!”

Woman:  “Help!”

Girl:  [Screams]


Gil:  “This way!  My palace shall be a shelter.  We’ll tend to
the wounded here.”

Attendant:  “By your word, King Gilgamesh.”

Gil:  “My people-- the gods have turned agains us.  As your
king-- I’m asking for your strength-- now-- more than ever.  In
return, I give you my word-- that I will not rest-- until
Sumeria is safe again.”

Subject:  “But Sire-- your father is king of the gods-- and if
he’s turned against his own son-- what hope do we have?”

Gil:  “I’ve sent for a man-- across the seas-- a hero, who will
not bow down to the will of the gods.  Perhaps with his help--
we can restore our homeland-- to its former glory.”


Woman’s Voice:  “Oh!  Thank the gods!”

H:  “There you go.”

Boy:  “That was fun!  Can we do it again?!”

H [Chucking]:  “I’m sorry, Kiddo, only the, uh, first ride is
free.  Besides, I don’t think your mother would approve.”

Woman:  “Thank you, Hercules.”

H:  “You’re welcome.”

Woman:  “Just wait till your father gets home!”

I:  “Ha-ha-ho.  My hero!  Ooh!  There you go!”

Man’s Voice:  “Now, don’t pile it up too high!”

I:  “Now then-- where were we?  Oh, yes-- your-- theory.”

H:  “I’m telling you, Iolaus, the Earth _is_ round.”

I:  “OK, let’s say, for argument’s sake, that it is round.  That
means there are people-- underneath us-- who are upside down,

H:  “That’s right.  And to them-- we’re upside down.”

I:  “OK, so how come we just don’t fall off into the clouds?

H:  “I’m workin’ on that.”

Woman’s Voice:  “Who _are_ they?”

Men’s Voices:  “I don’t know.”  “They’re not from around these

I:  “Huh.”

H:  “Hmm.”

Man’s Voice [In background]:  “-- down over there.  I’ll get to
them in a moment.”

Emissary [Em]:  “I beg your pardon.  Are you the one they call

I:  “Huh-- among other things.  Ow.”

H:  “Can I help you?”

Em:  “I have travelled here from Sumeria-- as emissary to King
Gilgamesh-- son-- of the almighty deity-- Ra.”

I [Laughing]:  “Ra?!”

H:  “Uh, he’s-- not talking about the Greek gods.”

I:  “Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-- you mean, there are other gods out

Em:  “They have turned against us-- Great one.  Our cities lay
in ruin, while our people  hide in fear.”

H:  “Sounds familiar.”

Em:  “Come to Sumeria with me-- I beg of you.  You’re our only

H:  “Wa-wa-wait, wait-- uh, there’s uh-- no need to beg.  We’ll
be-- glad to help.  It’s about time we broaden our horizons.”



Em:  “Like you, Great one-- the blood of an immortal flows
through his veins-- but his heart is human.”

I:  “Um-- ‘Great one?’  Can I have a word with you?”

H:  “Call me Hercules.”

Em:  “As you wish.”

I:  “You spend too long, under water, in that well?”

H:  “No,”

I:  “Hit your head?”

H:  “Not that I can remember.”

I:  “Little kid, uh-- hold you too tightly around the neck?”

I:  “I’m-- sure there’s a point to this.”

I:  “The point is, Hercules-- we don’t know anything about these
other gods.  Look-- it’s not as though we don’t have problems of
our own.”

H:  “I know these gods-- are different from ours, but people
aren’t.  They need help; we cannot turn our backs on them--

I:  “Well, that’s it.  We go down in history as the guys that
ticked off _all_ the gods.”

H:  “If something’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well-- right?”

I:  “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.  How do we get to Sumeria-- swim?”

H:  “I think I know where we can find a boat.”

I:  “Oh, ha-ha.”


Nebula [Neb]:  “Two barrels, like we agreed.”

Man’s Voice [In Background]:  “Bring ‘em below!  Etc.]”

Neb:  “Let’s do this.”

Thug:  “I ain’t gonna give ya a dinar for ‘em, Nebula.  Them
eels is female.”

Neb:  “You’re kidding, right?”

Thug:  “I might take ‘em off your hands-- if you were prepared
to throw in a little-- something-- extra.”

Neb:  “I’ll think about it.”

Man’s Voice [In Background]:  “Aye-aye!”

Neb:  “I don’t think so.”

Neb’s Voice:  “Shocking isn’t it?”

Thug:  “Ahhhh!”


H’s Voice:  “Doesn’t look like she needs our help.”

Neb:  “I’ll be with you in a moment, boys.”

H’s Voice:  “Take your time.”

Neb:  “Or you can give me a hand!”

H:  “Just wanted to hear ya ask.”

H:  “Going up.”

I:  “Oh.  Ha.”

Neb:  “Do you have any idea what I went through to catch those

H:  “You’re welcome.”

Em:  “My princess.  I thought we’d never see you again.  The
king will be overjoyed to know that his sister-- is safe.”

I:  “Sister?  Ahhh!  Ah!  Oh!”

H:  “Princess?”


Neb:  “Forget it!  There’s no way I’m goin’ back!”

H:  “Your brother is in trouble, Nebula.  Those people need

Man’s Voice:  “Here you go!”

Neb:  “_Half_- brother-- and those people never needed my help.
You boys have any idea what it’s like to be a Sumerian

H:  “No-- can’t say that we do.”

Neb:  “There is no position of power for a woman in Sumeria.
You look pretty and ya keep your mouth shut.  No way I was gonna
let tra_dition_ determine the course of my destiny.”

H:  “I understand how you feel-- but if we don’t get there
soon-- those people will die.  I don’t think you want that.”

I:  “Persuasive, isn’t he?”


Neb’s Voice:  “Hopefully, the winds will be at our backs.”

I:  “Are you-- all right?”

Neb:  “Nothin’ like leaving port.”

I:  “Nebula-- ”

Neb:  “See, in Sumeria, I may be a princess-- but here, I’m a
queen.  My country-- borders.  I go wherever I want-- whenever I
want to.  That’s _real_ power, Goldilocks.”

I:  “I don’t think we’ve been introduced properly.  See, my
name-- is Iolaus-- _Iolaus_.”

Neb:  “You’re awfully cute when you’re angry.”

I:  “I understand you-- better than you think, Nebula.”

Neb:  “Do you, now?”

I:  “Oh, yeah.”

Neb:  “Well.”

I:  “‘My country-- my borders’?  You don’t like people getting
too close to you-- ‘cause you don’t wanna be tied down.”

Neb:  “I never said I didn’t wanna be tied down.”

I:  [Chuckles]

Neb:  [Laughs]


Man’s Voice:  “Yeah!  Some action!”

Neb:  “Oh-- quite a grip you got there.  This must be the hand
you use to-- ”

Baldy:  “Stow it, Sister.  You’re goin down.”

Neb:  “Talk to your captain like that.  Time for a beating,

Men:  [Laugh]

Men’s Voices:  “My money’s on the captain!”  “You don’t _have_
any money!”

Em:  “My princess-- it’s highly improper for a woman of royalty
to behave in this manner.”

Men:  [Laugh]

Neb:  “Boys!  Our guest seems a little tense.  Help him relax.”

Man’s Voice:  “What’s your poison?!”

H:  “She’s quite a handful.”

I:  “Yeah-- too much of a handful.  I don’t know how the crew
puts up with her.”

H:  “I don’t know-- they seem to be enjoying themselves just

I:  Come on, Hercules-- they’re drunk.  They don’t know any

Man’s Voice:  “Put a little muscle into it!”

H:  “You like her.”

I:  “What, are you nuts?!  She’s stubborn and singleminded--

H:  “That’s enough about you.  Let’s talk about her.”

I:  “Hey, hey-- ”

H [Interrupting]:  “I _know_ you--”

I:  “Now, if you have something to say, pal-- ”

H [Interrupting]:  “I-I _know_ you, Iolaus-- ”

Men [Cheering in Background]:  “Ne-bu-la!  [Etc.]”

H:  “-- and sometimes when that-- stubborn, single-minded,
hot-headed side of you takes over, you-- forget to follow your

I:  “Is that so?”

H:  “Hmm.”

Neb:  “Hah!  Ha-ha!”



Dark H:  “You’re having doubts about what you’re doing, aren’t

H:  “Maybe it’s not my place to get involved with these other
gods.  I just hope I’m doing the right thing.”

Dark H:  “And what if you aren’t?  Are you prepared to fail?”

H:  “It’s a chance I’ll have to take.”

Dark H:  “That’s the wrong answer.  When are you gonna realize,
your struggle is in vain?”

H:  “My struggle?”

Dark H:  “Save the world from-- evil-- as if evil were an enemy
to be kept outside the castle walls.  It’s everywhere-- even
inside you.”  

H:  “Maybe-- that doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop trying.”

Dark H:  “But at what cost?  Deianeira?  Serena?  Your precious
children?  They’ve all paid the price for your arrogance.  How
do you expect to save the world, Hercules-- when you can’t even
save the people you love?”

H:  “Who are you?  Who are you?”

Dark H:  “I am the darkness that you hold-- closest to your

H:  “Ahh!”


H:  [Sighs]



Sailor:  “Land, ho!”

I:  “What’s the matter, Herc?  You look like you’ve seen a

H:  “Maybe I did.”

I:  “What happened?”

H:  “I-- I had a dream-- maybe more of a nightmare.  When I--
woke up, I had this.”

Neb:  “This is it, boys-- ride ends here.”

H:  “Sure you won’t change your mind?”

I:  “You came all this way.”

Neb:  “Appreciate the effort-- but you know what they say-- you
can’t go home again.”

I:  “Well-- we tried.”

H:  “Yeah.”


Em:  “My king-- may I present Hercules and Iolaus.”

Gil:  “It is an honor to have you here, Hercules.”

H:  “The honor is mine, King Gilgamesh.  This is my friend,

Gil:  “I only wish that we could have met-- under different
circumstances.  This way.”

H:  “It looks like you’ve got your hands full.”

Gil:  “Our food and water supplies are running short.  Soon, the
dead will outnumber the living.”

H:  “Why have your gods done this?”

Gil:  “To punish me.  Not long ago, my kingdom was attacked by
an army of pagans.  Many of our temples were destroyed.  I led
my people to battle.  I left my wife and child behind.  When I
returned, I found them slaughtered.  I was out, fighting for the
gods-- and they did _nothing_ to protect my family.  I lost my
faith, Hercules-- in their goodness.  And now my people-- are
paying the price.”

H:  “You can’t-- blame yourself, Gilgamesh.  There’s always
hope.  There has to be a way to stop this.”

Gil:  “There is-- but I can’t do it by myself.  Come with me.  I
have something to show you.  How long have you been standing

Neb:  “Long enough.”

Gil:  “I always knew that you’d return.  I prayed that you

Neb:  “I’m sorry about your family.”

Gil:  “You-- are my family now.”


Gil:  “These tablets-- record our history-- from the first days
of my people.”

Neb:  “I remember.  When the first Sumerians came here, it was a
desert.  Then the gods fasted for seven days, on the nectar that
sustains them-- to give life to the land.”

I:  “So-- if we get some of this nectar, we can restore the

Gil:  “That’s why I sent for you.  The nectar flows from this
chalice-- but it was hidden by the gods in the middle of a
pyramid-- protected by a series of trials.  Only those with the
blood of a god can reach it.  If you’re willing to come with me,
Hercules-- together-- we may stand a chance.”

H:  “What are we waiting for?”


Gil:  “It’s my fault that you left.”

Neb:  “No, it isn’t.”  

Gil:  “I put duty and tradition before family.  The people have
lost a princess-- but I lost a sister.  I was wrong-- but you
knew that all along.”

Neb:  “Still-- I should have been there for you.”

Gil:  “You’re here now.”

I:  “You know, um-- you were right about her.  She’s not bad.”

H:  “Hmm-- and you’re not so stubborn.”

I [Laughs]:  “Well, don’t tell anybody.”

H:  “No.”

I:  “Good luck.”

H:  “Yeah-- you, too.  We’ll be back.”


Gil:  “Hercules-- I’m curious.  Tell me about your Greek gods.”

H:  “Well-- I don’t think they’re much different than yours.  It
seems like I’ve spent my whole life trying to solve the problems
they create.”

Gil:  “Hmm-- funny-- I spent my whole life-- looking to my gods
for guidance-- like a fool.”

H:  “Now, don’t be too hard on yourself.  I used to think they
had answers that-- people didn’t.  I guess we both learned the
hard way.”

Gil:  “You know, I wish I had met you a-- long time ago.
Perhaps, you could have spared me some disappointment.”

H:  “I know how you feel.  I lost-- I lost family, too.  I
wanted to give up on myself-- on the world.”

Gil:  “Why didn’t you?”

H:  “Because-- I have faith in people.  So long as they don’t
give up-- I can’t either.”


Em:  “Our water supply has been cut off!  The aqueduct has been
badly damaged!”

I:  “These people won’t survive another night without water.”

Neb:  “We better get to fixing that duct.  Is there a problem?!”

Em:  “My princess-- I must remind you that you are in Sumeria,
now.  It would be improper for you to do a man’s job.”

Neb:  “Give me a break!  You’re all just gonna stand there
because you don’t wanna work with a woman?!”

I:  “Come on, guys-- ”

Neb [Interrupting]:  “I don’t need your chivlalry, pal.  You can
all just kiss off!”


Gil:  “There’s nowhere to go but up.”

H:  “Look at this.  You’ll have to do the honors.  My--
Sumerian’s a little rusty.”

Gil:  “You must-- walk-- in the footsteps of another.”

H:  “I hate it when that happens.”



Gil:  “Footsteps of another.  I-I don’t see anything.”

H:  “We’re not looking for a trail.  We have to walk in each
other’s footsteps.”

Gil:  “What are you saying?”

H:  “Quick-- back-to-back.  Like you said-- the only way to go
is up.”


I:  “Wait!”

Neb:  “People are dying, and they refuse to take my help!  I
never should have listened to you and Hercules.  _Nothing_ has

I:  “Yeah!  You’re right!  But if you leave now-- nothing ever

Neb:  “Are you _blind_?!  I left, because I _refused_ to waste
my life fighting a losing battle!”

I:  “So now, you fight it everywhere but here!”

Neb:  “Who are you to talk to me that way?”

I:  “Someone--who cares about you.  Yeah, it’s true, Nebula.
Someone-- actually _cares_ about you.  And if you leave now--
you’re gonna regret it for the rest of your life.”

Neb:  “What am I supposed to do?”

I:  “Show them what you’ve shown me-- that you don’t take orders
from _anybody_ but yourself.”

Em:  “Oh, Deity-- our injured need water.”

Man’s Voice:  “Hear our prayers.”

Em:  “Please-- show us a sign that you have not abandoned us.”

Neb [Whistles]:  “Listen up, boy.  We’ve got a lot of work to
do, and a short time to do it in.”

Em:  “How _dare_ you-- interrupt our prayers?  Your sacrilege
will be the death of us all!”

Neb:  “I’m gonna let you in on a little secret.  The gods aren’t
gonna help us.  And if you haven’t figured that out-- you’re a
lot dumber than you look.  All right, boys-- in my brother’s
absence, I will assume his authority, beginning now.  You can
stand here and wait for a miracle-- or you can come with me and
fix this thing.”

I:  “Well, uh-- I don’t know about you guys, but, um-- I’m

Men’s Voices:  “She’s right-- let’s go.”  “What have we got to


H:  “Whoa!  This place isn’t big on floors, is it?”

Gil:  “Only a blind man-- can see his way-- through the eye.”

H [Sighs]:  “I get the feelin’ this is gonna blow.”

Gil:  “We’ve-- we’ve gotta find another way to make it!”

H:  “No, we don’t!  We can jump!” 

Gil:  “Jump?!  What, do you know something I don’t know?!”

H:  “Only a blind man will see his way through the eye-- the eye
of the whirlwind!”

Gil:  “If we don’t make it-- we got a long way to fall!” 

H:  “We’ll make it if we have faith!  Blind faith!  Ahhhhhhhhh!”

Gil:  “Who wants to live forever?!  Uh!”

H:  “Uh!  I gotcha!  Hang on!  Whew.”

Gil:  “So, how are you finding Mesopotamia?”

H:  “A little breezy.”


Men:  “Yay!”

I:  “Whoo-hoo-hoo!”


People:  [Cheer]

I:  “Whoo-hoo!”  Well-- not bad, Nebula.”

Neb:  “Ah-- not bad yourself, Iolaus.”

I:  “Wait a minute.  Did you just call me-- ‘Iolaus’?”

Neb:  “ I owe you a thanks.  So-- thanks.”

I:  “Ha!  What have you done with the real Nebula?”

Neb [Chuckles]:  “All right.  I deserve that.”

I:  “Nah, I kinda like you like this.”

Neb:  “Like what?”

I:  “I don’t know, uh-- off guard.  Nebula, are you blushing?”


I:  “They’ll be all right.”

Neb:  “I know.  I never thought I’d come back here.  But seeing
my brother-- and these people in such pain.  This is the first
time that I’ve felt like I actually have a place here.”

I:  “So, why do you look so sad?”

Neb:  “Because I know that-- that sooner or later, you’re gonna
go back to Greece-- and I think I might miss you.  I bet that’s
the last thing you expected to hear from me.”

I:  “Yeah, you’re right.  But, um-- I hoped you’d say it,

Neb:  “I can’t ask you to stay, Iolaus.  You and Hercules have a
destiny that’s very different from mine.  And if you gave that
up-- you’d always wonder if you made a mistake.”

I:  “Yeah-- but the thing is-- if I leave-- I’ll always ask
myself the same thing.”


Gil:  “We did it.”

H:  “Let’s grab some of that nectar and get out of here.”

Gil:  “After you, my friend.  None left for the gods.  What a
pity.  Soon-- the world will tremble-- with the arrival of



H:  “I trusted you.”

Gil:  “Please don’t think too badly of me.  You see, Hercules,
we’re-- we’re in the middle of a war-- and in war, there’s
always-- betrayal.”

H:  “You betrayed more than just me.”

Gil:  “The destruction that you’ve seen across the land-- is the
direct fallout from a battle raging high above-- between-- the
gods-- and _my_ master.  You see-- when I lost my family-- I did
lose my faith.  And in my deepest despair-- I heard-- the
voice-- of Dahok-- a voice so pure-- so true-- I knew I had
found salvation.”

H:  “I’d like to meet him.  I bet we’d have a lot to talk

Gil:  “You already have.  He’s the darkness that you hold
closest to your heart.”

[[[[[[Dark H:  “I am the darkness that you hold.”]]]]]]

Gil:  “Without the nectar-- the gods won’t be strong enough to
prevent Dahok’s arrival.  All he needs is the sacrifice-- of a
warrior heart.” 

H:  “You took the easy way out.  You couldn’t face your pain, so
you gave up on yourself and everyone who believed in you!”

Gil:  “You are a fool, Hercules.  You’re blinded by your own--
goodness.  In a way, you’re your own-- worst enemy.” 

H:  “Wrong-- now, I’m yours.  Gilgamesh!  Ahhh!


I:  “Get out of my way!  Where’s Hercules?!”

Gil:  “The one god-- has been good to him.”

Neb:  “What’s happened to you?”

Gil:  “Such fire inside-- such a warrior’s heart.  The great
Dahok has other plans for you.”

Neb:  “We’re family.”

Gil:  “My family has been gone to me a long time, now.”



Gil:  “I call on you, master of the darkness-- to consume this
warrior heart-- and become whole.  Show us a sign-- that you are


Neb:  “You’re pathetic.  You may have sold your soul, but mine
will _always_ belong to me!”

Gil:  “We’ll see about that.”

H:  “Gilgamesh!  No more ‘Mr. Nice Guy’.”

I’s Voice:  “Hercules!”

H:  “Ahhhh!”


Gil:  “This is really gonna hurt.”

H:  “You took the words right out of my mouth.  Ahhhhhh!”

Neb:  “I love you.”

Gil:  “There’s nothing you can do-- to stop Dahok from
entering-- our world.  It’s his destiny.”

H:  “And it’s my destiny-- to _shut_ you up.”

H:  “Nebula!”

I:  “Nooooooooooooooooooo!”

Neb:  “Iolaus!”

Gil:  “Dahok!”

H:  “Yahhhhh!  Hang in there, buddy.”

I:  “I can’t.”

H:  “Sure you can.  Come on.”

I:  “Hercules-- ”

H:  “Come on.  Don’t you give up on me.  Come on.  Come on!
Don’t you give up on me!”

Neb:  “Oh.”


Neb:  “I’ve heard stories of sailors who are lost at sea-- and
see lights in the northern skies.  They say the lights are
really spirits who have come to help them find their way.  I
never believed that story until now.”

H:  “I can’t believe he’s gone.”

Neb:  It’s not your fault, Hercules.  You stopped Gilgamesh--
the people are safe.”

H:  “No-- it should have been me.”

Neb:  “He loved you so much.  He wouldn’t have wanted that.”

H:  “I know.  He was-- my hero.”


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