Preface (01-03)
Fish Alternatives (04-06)
     Jewel Themes (04)
     Fish Themes (05)
     Miscellaneous Themes (06)
Appendix: What About Other Episodes (07-10)
     More Gem/Mineral/Precious Metal Themes (07)
     Can't Keep a Good Fish Theme Down (08)
     You Can Never Homage Enough! (09)
     Miscellaneous (10)
Biographies

Preface

^[1] Naming is a very important act. In naming something, we lay claim to an ancient heritage of empowerment. Naming helps us identify and shape the reality around us. In other words, naming affects how we perceive something. Any creative being, whether parent, artist or author will often agonize over the appropriateness of a name choice. Parents will strive to determine whether "Horace" is an apropos name for their bouncing bundle of joy or whether Adelai is going to be too complicated to say every day. Artists will often leave their works untitled because they want the imagery of a piece to be complete in itself, but the lack of a title affects the interpretation of a piece as much as the application of a title does. Authors must carefully choose what will best describe or hook a reader/viewer into a story, revealing clues without giving away all. The title of a piece is an invitation to the audience to participate, as much as it is a mere description.

^[2] Recently, XWP went through the process of re-naming an episode. FISH SHTICKS was renamed FINS, FEMMES AND GEMS (64/318) in March of 1998. (For you trivia buffs, it was the film editor, Robert Field, aka Avicus, who contributed the new name). The rumored reasons for the name change are legion, and may well be eventually lost in time (or is that 'lost innnnn space')? However, a newly formed think tank called "The Trilateral Commission on XWP Rumored Spoilers and Unsubstantiated Conjectures" has compiled a list of additional titles that could have been used for FISH SHTICKS had we lived in Dr. Pangloss' best of all possible worlds.

^[3] The rumored and unsubstantiated reasons for the name change have run the gamut from trying to please a sponsor, to burying any association with the relatively bad buzz about the episode called FISH SHTICKS. Analyzing the situation in this way, however, encourages looking at the problem in a "yes" or "no" dichotomy, thus mimicking the drastic philosophical change of the third season of XWP. However, the Trilateral Commission has opted to take their inspiration from the first and second seasons of XWP, where the artistic paradigm was one of the grey area between good and bad. The Commission's position, therefore, is that all the reasons conjectured for the name change most likely have some basis in truth. Furthermore, the Commission has decided to not only take on the challenge of divining more names for "The Episode Formerly Known as FISH SHTICKS", but to include an appendix of names TPTB could have used in previous episodes (had they figured out the benefits of pleasing sponsors, or themselves, earlier).

Fish Alternatives

^[4] Jewel Themes

DIAMOND! (an homage to James Michener)
DIAMONDS ARE A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND (a massive homage)
DIAMONDS ARE FOR NEVER
DIAMONDS HAVE A PORPOISE
DIAMOND IN THE BUFF
A DIAMOND RUNS THROUGH IT (homage to fly fishing)
DIAMOND THE CONQUEROR
DIAMOND: THE LEGENDARY JOURNEYS
DEITIES ON ICE
LEGS, DIAMOND
MR. DIAMOND GOES TO ATHENS
THE JEWEL, THE FOOL, AND TWO DAMES
ROCKS, DOCKS, AND BLOCKHEADS
ROCKS, SKATES, AND HAKES
RUBES, RUBIES, AND ROGUES
STONED
WEST SIDE DIAMOND

^[5] Fish Themes

CARP, CLAMS, AND HAMS
CARP DIEM
DON'T BE SHELLFISH
DON'T YOU HAKE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS?
DOWN WITH THE FISHIES
EVERYSHOWHASITSROCKBOTTOMEPISODEGOODONLYFORFISHFOOD
A FISH CALLED WANTON
FISH FOOD
FISH FURK
FISH S**T.
THE FISHER QUEEN
FLOUNDERING
FROM HERE TO FISH
A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE FISHING HOLE
GOOD WILL FISHING
HAVE FISH, WILL TRAVEL
HYGIENE HIGH JINKS
I HAKE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS
I LOVE ROCK AND POLE
IT TAKES A FISH
JUST FOR THE HALIBUT THE LIGHTNESS OF GOING FISHIN
LORD OF THE FISH
MOBY FISH
MRS. PAUL'S FISH BALLS (a sponsor and fish)
OF FISH AND APES AND THE WHOLE D*MN THING
ON GOLDEN FISHPOND
PIKER, PRINCESS, AND PILGRIM
THE POISSON ADVENTURE
PULP FISHIN
SCALES AND TALES (or Tails, for the risque element)
SCAMPI, BAMBI, AND CLUELESS
TARTARUS SAUCE
TO FISH WITH LOVE
TO HAVE AND TO FISH
TREES, TROUT, AND TAGALONGS
YOU & ME & BAIT MAKES THREE
ZORBA THE FISH

^[6] Miscellaneous Themes

THE APE, THE THIEF, HIS FOE, AND HER LOVER
THE APE WITH WHITE SKIN
APHRODITE'S REVENGE
CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE ICKY KIND
CRIME AND PUNISHMENT
DECONSTRUCTING HISTORY
DAVEY JONES' LOCKER
DUMB AND EVEN MORE DUMB
THE EGO TRIP
FLIGHTY APHRODITE
GULLIBLES TRAVELS
HALF AND HALF (for subtextites and non-subtextites)
HALF BAKED
HALF FRIED
HALF HEARTED
HALF WIT
IS THIS AS GOOD AS WE CAN GET?
A MAN CALLED DENSE
THE MAN IN THE LEATHER WADERS
ME TARZAN, YOU PRETTY, SHE GONE FISHING
PARADISE DEFINITELY LOST
PICK UP SHTICKS
SHTICK IT
SILK PURSES AND...
SLEEPLESS IN NEWGREECELAND
ST-HUD
TAPERT'S REVENGE
TREASURE ISLAND NOT
VANITY'S MIRROR
WHERE ANGELS GO, JOXER FOLLOWS!

APPENDIX: WHAT ABOUT OTHER EPISODES

(aka Why Should FISH SHTICKS Get All the Fun)?

^[7] More Gem/Mineral/Precious Metal Themes

ALTARED SILVER
ATHENS CITY ACADEMY OF JEWELERS
BEWARE OF GREEKS BEARING ZIRCONIUM
THE BLACK SAPPHIRE
CRADLE OF PEARLS
DIAMOND IN A CHAIN
DIAMONDWORKER
A FISTFUL OF DOLOMITE
THE GREATER GARNAT
HYDROXYLAPATITES AND HYDROZYNCITES
IGNEOUS
IS THERE A DIAMOND IN THE HOUSE?
KING OF DEM GEMS
THE LODESTONING
PATH NOT TURQUOISE
THE PRODDING OF THE GOLD
TOPAZ THAT BINDS
THE TREASURE OF THE SUMERIAN MADRE ("Titan's Key? We don't need no steenkin'...")

^[8] Can't Keep a Good Fish Theme Down

DIAMONDS HAVE A PORPOISE
A FISH CALLED WONTON
HOOK, LINE, AND DELIVERER
I WANTED TO BE A STURGEON BUT I COULDN'T GET INTO THE RIGHT SCHOOL
A NECESSARY EEL
ROCKS, SKATES, AND HAKES
THE SCALES OF JUSTICE
WARRIOR... PRINCESS... TROUT (See Lucy make fish faces!)

^[9] You Can Never Homage Enough!

BAWDY HEAT
THE BRIDE WITH THE BLONDE HAIR... NO, WAIT, RED... OH, NEVER MIND, HE'S DEAD
CAESAR'S VERY BAD NO GOOD HAIR DAY
COME ON BABY, LIGHT MY CAMPFIRE
DING DONG THE DORK IS DEAD, HURRAH!
DR. STRONGLOVE; OR HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND KILL JOXER
THE GOOD, THE DUMB, AND THE DEADLY
HONEY, I BLEW UP JOXER
HOPALONG GABBY
INTERVIEW WITH A BACCHAE

^[10] Miscellaneous

AS THE COCK CROWS
AY, CALLISTO, THE PLACES YOU'VE BEEN TO
BIG WALLS, BAD HAIR AND WORSE ATTITUDES
THE HICKEY THAT GABRIELLE FORGOT
THE LONG HAIRY ROAD TO CHIN THAT XENA TOOK
ONE TOO MANY FLIPPIN' WARRIORS
OVER AND OVER AGAIN
PAYING FOR IT
ROMEO, ROMEO, GIVE IT UP ALREADY, ROMEO
SWEET HOME AMPHIPOLIS
THE TITIANS (now we are getting into expensive paintings)
URN AS MUCH AS YOU CAN
XENA'S BAD

Biographies

Katrina Blau
http://www.afn.org/~afn42733/ I am of mixed European descent (that I know of). I am over the age of consent in most countries. I work as a paraprofessional librarian. I play as an artist and writer and otherwise creative person. I mowed the lawn yesterday, and will probably do that again next week, barring bad weather. I read voraciously, love deeply and laugh with something of a mix between a chortle and a guffaw. I truly dig X:WP and am very subtext positive.
Favorite episode: A DAY IN THE LIFE (39/215); BEEN THERE DONE THAT (48/302)
Favorite line: Xena: "I love the smell of Warrior sweat in the morning." THE FURIES (47/301)
First episode seen: THE QUEST (37/213)
Least favorite episode: FORGIVEN (60/314)

Critter
It's a given that I'm a fan of XWP and believer in subtext. I make a living in the medical profession and am an advocate of people's and animal's rights (hence the name "Critter").

I'm amazed at the generosity and friendship I have discovered through the show (a lady I hardly knew offered to tape the first season episodes for me and I'll never forget her kindness).

It's been fun talking and debating and discussing aspects of the show and meeting people from all walks of life who love the show and the beautiful relationship between Xena and Gabrielle. I've loved watching X&G's "partnership" change but ultimately grow:)

I'm forever grateful to ALL the Xenastaff and crew for taking us on a journey and for doing things I never dreamed possible on American television.

Favorite episode: DREAMWORKER (03/103); THE GREATER GOOD (21/121); IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE (24/124); REMEMBER NOTHING (26/202); RETURN OF CALLISTO (29/205); A DAY IN THE LIFE (39/215); THE PRICE (44/220); and ONE AGAINST AN ARMY (59/313)
Favorite line: Xena: "You don't know how much I love... that". THE PRICE (44/220)
First episode seen: HOOVES AND HARLOTS (10/110)
Least favorite episode: FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS (40/216); ULYSSES (43/219); and KING CON (61/315)

Mary Draganis
The short version - I'm a Xena nut. The long version - My name is MaryD and I've been in the Xenaverse since December 1996. I'm a Xena webmaster and I create montages. I love this show that I am willing to spend hours creating things, adding things to my site and reading the fantastic fan fiction on the web. There isn't a show like it and I'm just thankful that my friends persevered with me and made me watch.
Favorite episode: THE DEBT (52-53/306-307), WARRIOR...PRIESTESS...TRAMP (55/309), and ONE AGAINST AN ARMY (59/313).
Favorite line: Leah: "Let's all Pwaise Hestia, Pwaise Hestia." WARRIOR...PRIESTESS...TRAMP (55/309)
First episode seen: THE PRODIGAL (18/118)
Least favorite episode: ULYSSES (43/219)

Darise Error
Associate Editor, WHOOSH
BA in theatre, MA in theatre and film, ABD (all but dissertation) on a PhD in theatre. (Her fascination with XWP actually began as a dissertation avoidance measure.) Darise Error is an actor/director/singer/songwriter from Dallas. She would like to be an artist full-time, but she owes way too much in student loans. She currently makes a little money teaching college English, but satisfies her soul by doing theatre. She penned the lyrics to "Talk to Me," which can be heard on the Domestic Science Club's self-titled cd released by Discovery records in 1994. In January 1998, Darise followed in the footsteps of one of her favorite ladies by singing an a capella version of "The National Anthem" at a Ft. Worth Brahmas hockey game. She wore a turtleneck on the occasion. She lives with a mutt named Sweeney, a cat named Beau, and an ornery parakeet named Virgil.

Favorite episode: A DAY IN THE LIFE (39/215), DREAMWORKER (03/103), BEEN THERE, DONE THAT (48/302)
Favorite line: Xena to Gabrielle: "You don't know how much I love.....that." from THE PRICE (44/220); Xena to Gabrielle: "Pull my finger." from THE FURIES (47/301)
First episode seen: THE QUEST (37/213)
Least favorite episode: KING OF ASSASSINS (54/308)

Beth Gaynor
Vice President of Stuff
Writer, Episode Guide
Coder
And anything else we can hoodwink her into
http://arcane.eng.ohio-state.edu/bgaynor/xenarate.htm
Beth Gaynor lives in Columbus, Ohio (go Buckeyes!), and designs courses for DPEC, a computer-based training company. Outside of the office, she is often spotted at the Columbus Zoo, where she volunteers as a docent. This usually involves answering the question "Where's the bathroom?", although she gets breaks from that long enough to talk about the animals and help the keepers. Beth is peeking around the corner at her thirtieth birthday and stays young and vigorous by battling for house supremacy alongside her husband against their two cats. So far, the struggle is too close to call.
Favorite XWP episodes: A DAY IN THE LIFE (39/215) and THE PRICE (44/220).
Favorite XWP line: Meg: "Your little friend just kicked my b*tt." WARRIOR... PRINCESS... TRAMP (30/206)
First episode seen: DESTINY (36/212)
Least favorite episode: HERE SHE COMES...MISS AMPHIPOLIS (35/211)

Dinah Malone
Editor, On the Road
Skewing viewer demographics, 53-year-old Dinah was born into an Air Force family in Las Vegas when it was a one-casino town. She grew up in Texas, primarily San Antonio. Dinah graduated from Brigham Young University with a degree in American Literature. And, in a previous incarnation, was a Mormon missionary for two years in Germany. She eventually moved to San Francisco to become a therapist, but, instead, ended up working in the printing industry as a typesetter. After years of working in the back room with computers, a virtual hermit, almost a misanthrope, she bought a TV, found Xena and is now a much friendlier but obsessive Xena fan, using her missionary skills to convert new Xenites.
Favorite episode: A DAY IN THE LIFE (39/215)
Favorite line: Xena: "Gabrielle, you are a gift to me." A SOLSTICE CAROL (33/209)
First episode seen: DESTINY (36/212)
Least favorite episode: FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS (40/216)

Tamara Poirier
Tamara doesn't let her Catholic school education get in the way of wearing her skirts more than 6" above the knee. She has been promised to have a good life by passing through the nostril of Buddha in Kyoto, Japan. So far, so good. Her greatest wish is to discover that tapping that little bump on your wrist does absolutely no good as she gets extremely nauseous on a space flight. Between Xenafests, Xena Cons, Xena lunches and Xena memorabilia collecting, Tamara keep a parking spot dry as Creative Director at a tv station.
Favorite episode: (drama) DEBT I (52/306); (comedy) A DAY IN THE LIFE (39/215); ("A" for effort) THE BITTER SUITE (58/312).
Favorite line: Xena: "You don't know how much I love... that" THE PRICE (44/220).
First episode seen: SINS OF THE PAST (01/101)
Least favorite episode: Rhymes with "Sing of Lasses" (54/308)

Bret Rudnick
Whoosh! Token Guy Who Lifts the Heavy Stuff
Editor, Graphics
Writer
IAXS Executive Committee
"You can't be too rich or have too many Amazons"
When he's not working for a big Science/Engineering company that (amongst other things) designs, builds, launches, and operates exploratory spacecraft, Bret writes fantasy novels and short stories. Bret is a man of many skills, having also previously been an Olympic-qualified archer, a drummer in the Butch Grinder Band, a newsreader for Public Television Station KVCR, and a Deputy Sheriff for the County of San Bernardino, California. He also collects Japanese swords, armour, and art. He and his dog hunt down stray Bacchae in New England.
Favorite XWP episode: THE BITTER SUITE (58/312)
Favorite XWP line: Xena: "What's this?" Gabrielle: "I'm... an amazon princess?" Xena (rolls eyes): "Great." HOOVES AND HARLOTS (10/110); Xena after being goosed by Joxer : "Are you suicidal?" WARRIOR...PRINCESS...TRAMP (30/204); Joxer: "Ha. Ha." A COMEDY OF EROS (46/222); Autolycus: "I'm not just leering at scantily clad women, you know, I'm working!" THE QUEST (37/213) First episode seen: CRADLE OF HOPE (04/104)
Least favorite episode: GIANT KILLER (27/203)

Shelley Sullivan
When I'm not fly fishing, I'm on a baseball field. When it's raining and I can't do either, I'm forced to work. Unfortunately, only one of the aforementioned actually pays.
Favorite episode: (it's a group thing) DREAMWORKER (03/103), THE GREATER GOOD (21/121), IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE (24/124), REMEMBER NOTHING (26/202), THE QUEST (37/213), A NECESSARY EVIL (38/214), THE PRICE (44/20), ALL RIFT EPISODES [editor's note: if you don't know which ones those are -- suffer], and ONE AGAINST AN ARMY (59/313).
Favorite line: Xena: "Kill them all!" TIES THAT BIND (20/120)
First episode seen: SINS OF THE PAST (01/101)
Least favorite episode: (another group thing) ULYSSES (43/219), FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS (40/216), KING OF ASSASSINS (54/308), THE QUILL IS MIGHTIER (56/310), KING CON (61/315), and FINS FEMMES AND GEMS (64/318).

Kym Masera Taborn
http://userzweb.lightspeed.net/~kym
Editor-in-Chief/Publisher Whoosh!
IAXS Executive Committee Kahuna
BA History 1980. MA Music 1984. JD Law 1991. Kym practices law in the Central Valley of California. Kym was the founder of IAXS and currently is the President for Life. Kym is 39 and lives in Bakersfield, CA with Wes, her incredibly patient husband of ten years, and Ira, her loyal nine year-old son. Both her and Ira each have their own five-inch Xena action figure.
Favorite episode: It is still...DREAMWORKER (03/103)!!
Favorite line: Gabrielle to Xena: "You're not much for girl talk, are you? Of course, you're not like most girls." PROMETHEUS (08/108)
First episode seen: CRADLE OF HOPE (04/104).
Least favorite episode: THE QUILL IS MIGHTIER... (56/310)