Whoosh! Issue 59 - August 2001

By P.D. Wonder;
Note from P.D.'s family; Introduction by Donna Kaye
Group Therapy Project
Content copyright © 2001 held by author
WHOOSH! edition copyright © 2001 held by Whoosh!
1567 words

Note from P.D.'s Family (01-02)
Introduction (03-09)
In My Life


Great idea, Gabrielle. I didn't really want to go to visit Akemi in Japa anyways...

Xena and Gabrielle walking off into the sunset.

Note from P.D.'s Family

[01] P.D. was always organized and prepared for "what ifs" and death was no exception. Before having her brain tumor surgery last August, P.D. ensured her house was in order. She wrote a message we were to share with her virtual family should she not survive the surgery. We feel it appropriate to share the message now with each of you.

[02] Priscilla and I keep saying thank you and it seems so inadequate. Know that it comes from our hearts and you will forever be P.D.'s heroes.

Jeremy and Priscilla Lamberth

I got a feeling we aren't the only ones feeling this way...

The first campfire scene from CALLISTO


"You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have really lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love."
-- H. Drummond

[03] P.D. loved to put what she called her "words" at the end of all her messages. I have kept them all, as well as my correspondence with her, pre-and post-brain tumour surgery. It is her legacy to me but also a legacy from a TV show called Xena: Warrior Princess, a show that we both loved and that brought us together.

[04] I first wrote to P.D. and her partner Evie after P.D. posted a short yet intriguing bio to one of the lists. In it, she wrote,

"We [she & Evie] share the same account but always sign our posts so you will know who said what lame thing when."

[05] I remember chuckling at this gentle humour. As our correspondence continued, I realised I was privileged to know a "real life" Xena and Gabrielle, doing things for the Greater Good (volunteerism) and doing things for love (i.e., being there for folks in the hospital). P.D. once described her and Evie as, "Evie's the 'butterfly', I'm the 'butter'". One only has to read the entries at the Tribute Page (http://www.nutbread.com/inditrib.html) to know how these two heroes gave of themselves.

[06] Evie Lamberth was killed in a car accident on 4 June, 1999. The Xenaverse embraced P.D., something that further affirmed her faith in the human spirit. On 25 August 2000, she wrote to me to tell me she was going to have some surgery. She never did say for what, exactly. I later found out it was for a brain tumour. She also asked me if I would mind passing on updates to the lists on her post-surgery progress. In typical fashion, she said about her impending surgery, "The good news is when they shine a light in my right ear, you can't see it through my left ear." Later, I discovered that P.D. was scared but she never let on. Instead, she wrote, "Take care of yourself and remember to stop and smell the roses now and then."

[07] On 12 September 2000, Jeremy Lamberth, P.D's stepson, sent me an update on P.D's brain tumour surgery and progress. He also asked for volunteers for an e-mail program to help with P.D's recovery and cognitive therapy. Thanks to all who gave time to what quickly became a highlight of each day, sending and receiving mail from P.D. We were her lifeline and, in turn, she became ours. After the brain tumour was removed, P.D's personality and cognitive ability changed somewhat, as is normal for brain tumour survivors. However, her sense of humour and regard for others always shone through, even when she was in discomfort or pain. Her mantra, for her and for us, was "kep go".

[08] The end of Xena will always be tied to the loss of my dear friend P.D., who died in her sleep on 15 June 2001, of an embolism. My close friend and fellow traveller on our journey with P.D., IseQween, sums it up much more eloquently than I ever could:

"We didn't expect P.D. to go when she did, but by d*mn, she took care of a lot of people before that. Ask any of us and we will tell you how she is still with us, making us cry sometimes because we should be able to touch someone who's so real to us. Making us try to see the good in things. Making us laugh at our own flaws. She's the hero who will always be connected in my mind with the fictional one she loved so much and who enabled our paths to intersect. Proof that lives on in us that the spirit is so much bigger and more powerful than any vessel--be it a TV show or a body. I'm sure I'll continue to have my sad moments about the physical loss of both these heroes. But as long as I see the real one inside the fictional one, I know I'll have far more moments of joy."

[09] Hello, P.D. Your words will live in our hearts.


Reynold's wrap can bring much joy.


In My Life

In My Life
I've seen hatred and fear.
Prejudice and anger hurled at those I loved caused heartache and pain.
The one that held my heart was the victim of abuse and molestation.
I've known hunger.
I've known illness.
I've known death.
I've known anger.

In my life
I found love and courage.
I discovered some things are worth the price of marching to a different drummer.
Gentleness and kindness, giving and caring made my world a better place
And healed wounds long since past.
I've known love.
I've known friendship.
I've known laughter. I danced.
I've seen the glory of new birth and new awakenings.
I've been blessed with living each day.
I've known joy.

In my life
I've traveled many roads and discovered things along the way.
I found despite everything life hurls at you, there's always hope.
I've found everyone wants a new day filled with peace and love and happiness.
I've learned to balance the price you pay with the prize you win in living each day.
I learned there are no barriers except the ones we place on our hearts and spirits.
I've learned a little faith in yourself, humanity and the human spirit can make impossible things plausible.
I've known love.
I've known friendship.

In my life
I learned how a heart breaks and dreams shatter.
I learned what it's like to be alone.
I learned what it's like to open your heart, open yourself to vanquish the loneliness.
I learned how you can go on, face a new road, and start the journey again.
I've learned that change confounds and delights and makes the journey full of surprises.
I've known love.
I've known friendship.

In my life
I discovered that we never make the journey alone, no matter how hard we try to push others away, there's always some thing or some one we meet along the way.
I've learned that the greatest thing any one can do is give themselves.
I've learned you have to live your life and follow your heart and your dreams.
I've learned that you can always get up again as long as you see the destination and not the ruts in the road.
I've known love.
I've known friendship.

In my life
My Evie found a new adventure. One filled with love and laughter and fun.
She found the internet and friends galore.
My heart stopped when her life was snatched away and darkness came crashing round.
I saw the abyss and I saw a way around it by taking people's hand and letting them in again.
I found friendship. I found laughter. I found joy. I found people who cared. I found people who made me care. I found people who made me think.
I found the most precious gift is giving yourself and accepting and cherishing the gift of friendship others give you.
I discovered the virtual family I came to know and love through Evie came to know and love me.
I found love.
I found friendship.
I found acceptance.

In my life
Another journey has begun. One where I must go alone.
Death called and yet another new path needs discovering.
I finished the journey here on earth and start the next one wherever that may lead.
I know I won't be alone.
I know each of you will be with me in thought and spirit.
I knew love.
I knew friendship.
I knew what it was like to be part of a whole, part of humanity, part of someone else's heart and dreams.

In your lives
May you know love.
May you know friendship.
May you know wonder and joy.
May your journey be filled with remarkable people, remarkable beauty, and remarkable friends, just as mine was.
May you see the ocean, smell the flowers, laugh, dance, make sand castles and keep the child inside.
May you celebrate each day and live each moment.
May you be. Just be.

It's time to start down the new path. Thank you for touching my heart and touching my spirit.

bless you,
P.D. Wonder


Do you think Lucy and Ethel were Ubers too?

Xena and Gabrielle on the road again.


P.D.'s relatives can be contacted through Jeremy Lamberth (jeremylamberth@yahoo.com) or Priscilla Lamberth (prislamberth@yahoo.com)


Julie Ruffell and Donna Kaye. The First Pacific Northwest Xenafest: A Xenite Committee Member's Experience. WHOOSH #9 (June 1997)

Even in death, I will never leave you.

Xena and Gabrielle in DEATH IN CHAINS.


P.D. Wonder P.D. Wonder

P.D. Wonder: 9/10/54 - 6/15/2001
P.D. was a technical writer/editor before her brain tumor surgery. She spent most of her life in the southwest and northern California. To learn a little 'bout the person and her life 'tween the dashes, read the entries in the guestbook: http://pub40.bravenet.com/guestbook/show.php?usernum=3382247723&cpv=1 or on the memorial tribute page: http://www.nutbread.com/PD.htm.

P.D.'s Xena life
P.D. used to kid around and say she was a Xena widow and had to start watchin' the show and gettin' involved in the lists and message boards and all if she was gonna see Evie. Evie loved Xena and started hangin' 'round the 'net in '96. P.D. loved Evie so P.D. started watchin' Xena and hangin' 'bout the net to see what the hoopla was about. She fell in love with the show and there were many weekends when Jeremy and me (Priscilla) would listen to 'em both go on 'bout this or that and discuss things 'bout the show. P.D. did a lotta beta readin' for folks that wrote Xena stories (wonder12) and I'm thinkin' in her peak she read stories for over 30 different folks.

When Evie died the 'net folks helped P.D. through some rough times. She considered ya'll heroes 'cause you gave your time and energy to be there for her especially after the brain surgery.

The xenaverse is made up of some pretty cool people and P.D. made sure folks "outside" knew about the lovin', carin', helpin' folks that gave time, money and bits of themselves to charity, folks in need of emotional support, friends, and her Evie.

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