Whoosh! Issue 64 - January 2002


By England Simpson
Content © 2002 held by author
WHOOSH! edition © 2002 held by Whoosh!
973 words

Love That Show, But Come On (01-03)
The Timelines Do Not Add Up (04-06)


I could use a can of Midol right now
Gabrielle isn't the only one confused about FRIEND IN NEED.

Love That Show, But Come On

[01] I am a Xenite true to heart, but the last episode of Xena disturbed me. I never thought that there could be a bad episode. Then there is the last episode. It was truly a letdown and had nothing to do with the series as a whole. I seriously believe that the writers and producers felt that Xena had to go out with a BANG but they could not think about how to end the greatest show in the world. Consequently, they pulled a bunch of "crap" together and left it as is.

[02] From a realistic point of view, Xena could not have killed 40,000 people. For one thing, if I were at the "scene-of-the-crime" I would have caught on and tried to save myself if houses and people around me were burning to death. Secondly, the time when it happened cannot be right. During this time, Xena had just been through a crucifixion, and after the crucifixion, Xena joined Borias' army. Shortly after Xena and Borias ran off together, they decided to make allies in the land of Chin with the dynasty of Lao Ma. If this supposedly happened, then this would have happened after Xena and Borias were in Chin. Does that mean that Xena never met Alti and the Amazons?

[03] I do not understand. Apparently after Chin, Xena and Borias went to make a "treaty" with the Amazons. That is where Xena met Cyane and the other Amazons as well as the shaman Alti. While that was happening, Borias found out that Xena was pregnant. Xena killed Cyane and then Xena and Borias went to make a treaty with the Amazons' mortal enemies, the Centaurs. This is when Xena had Solan, Borias died, and Xena gave Solan to the Centaurs and became the evil warlord that was presented to us, the viewer's, in Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, "The Xena Trilogy". Also after Chin, Xena went to the Norseland, met a depressed Odin, King of the Norse gods, and became a Valkyrie.

The Timelines Do Not Add Up

[04] What does all of this Xena history prove? It proves that one person can be in two places at the same time. Xena had too much on one plate for this event to take place. In other words, chronologically it is impossible for Xena to have been at that particular Asian Island at that particular time. If the situation with Akemi did happen, that means Xena would have had to meet her before or after Chin. If it was before Chin, then Xena would have had a limp, because she just had been crucified. This was not evident in the episode. If it was after Chin, then Xena would have had to been pregnant or Borias would have had to been dead.

[05] Furthermore, I do not know why Xena would fail to tell Gabrielle something so important that happened in her life. Evidently, it was not a big deal with Xena because she never told Gabrielle about it. Was Akemi that unimportant to Xena that she did not tell Gabrielle, or was she so important as she thought it was okay to teach Akemi the pinch?

[06] In the episode SEND IN THE CLONES, how was Alti's 'hook-up dude' able to get a hold of the chakram that now belonged to Gabrielle? How was he able to obtain hair from Xena who was cremated? There were many doors left unclosed within the series, as well as new doors opened in the finale. In other words, they left stones unturned and questions unanswered.


DESTINY (Season 2, episode 12)
THE DEBT (Season 3, episodes 6-7)
ADVENTURES IN THE SIN TRADE (Season 4, episodes 1-2)
The Ring Trilogy:
THE RING (Season 6, episode 7)
THE RHEINGOLD (Season 6, episode 8)
RETURN OF THE VALKYRIE (Season 6, episode 9
In this trilogy when Brunhilda tells Gabby the story of Xena, she claims that when they found out that Xena had traveled from Chin they called it the land that sent them a demon...so she became a Valkyrie after Chin. This conflicts with the events of "FRIEND IN NEED".
SEND IN THE CLONES (Season 6, episode 16)


England Simpson was born January 19, 1984 with her twin sister Ingrid Simpson. At the age of five England began to show an interest in things not normal. By the age of 13 England was watching such television shows as "Barney", "Ghostwriter", and "Bo-Bo". England at the age of 15 met her arch-nemesis Terri Day, she claimed to be the biggest "Xena" fan in the world. England picked at this girl; but little did she know that this girl would become one of her best friends. Terri and England began to talk more and Terri taught England all about the show (Xena). England showed interest in the show and started to surpass her friend's knowledge in the show. To date England is 18 years old (almost...) and has a certification in Xenaology, which is the study of the show "Xena: Warrior Princess". She lives at home with her four sisters and her husband Billy Zane.

Favorite episode: I do not have a favorite. That would not be fair.
Favorite line: Eve: "The heart may betray, but the sword never lies." HEART OF DARKNESS; Callisto: "Yeah, Yeah, Yeah Glory Hallelujah." SACRIFICE II
First episode seen: CALLISTO
Least favorite episode: FRIEND IN NEED II



Return to Top Return to Index