XENABLE QUOTES
Special to WHOOSH!
By (PWMSN@zianet.com)
Copyright © 1997 held by author
4357 words
LUCY LAWLESS
Lucy Lawless as Xena
Treat everyone the same...until you find out they're an idiot.
--Starlog #222. 1/96
Don't get your knickers in a twist over negative comments, okay?
--Posted on the Universal Xena NetForum, 3/31/96
When you're the object of that kind of attention, it's hard to believe. You know? It's an abstract concept.
--Rosie O'Donnell Show, 8/16/96
I enjoyed complete anonimity and it's all over now, Baby Blue.
--Rosie O'Donnell Show, 8/16/96
I find a real advantage to playing an intimidating character is that people just leave you alone.
--Rosie O'Donnell Show, 8/16/96
Lucy Lawless on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno
I'm on the mend--well and truly.
--Tonight Show, 10/29/96
I don't want to be what I call a schlebrity. You know, it's celebrity as opposed to fame. One is hollow; one is earned.
--Denver Post, 11/20/96
I've really learned about the indomitable human spirit. Happiness is a choice. You grieve, you stomp your feet, you pick yourself up and choose to be happy.
--Denver Post, 11/20/96
This is a love story between two people. What they do in their own time is none of our business.
--Denver Post, 11/20/96
It's make-believe, nitwit!
Response to the question, "How does it feel being able to beat up guys?"
--AOL Celebrity Chat, 12/6/96
I try to snatch at least an hour a week of something unpredictable.
--Cult Times, 12/96
When you have people to tie your shoes - literally - if you are not careful, you forget your place in the world as a human being.
--Cult Times, 12/96
Be good to the Earth and one another, laugh a lot and always, always...wear a seat belt.
--Lucy Lawless Fan Club Newsletter, 12/96
Lucy will ride again.
--Entertainment Tonight, 1/13/97
I want to know that somehow I made an audience feel.
--Lucy Lawless Fan Club Newsletter, 1/15/97
I'll be producing my own material. I'm not going to lie down and whinge about being a "victim" of type casting.
--Lucy Lawless Fan Club Newsletter, 1/15/97
I don't consciously want to change Xena. She evolves on her own.
--Lucy Lawless Fan Club Newsletter, 1/15/97
I'd love to do any role that doesn't require a corset.
--Lucy Lawless Fan Club Newsletter, 1/15/97
No matter how guilty and pressured I have been to stop work in the past, I know I would not be a better mother or a happier woman if I gave up my career. And one day my daughter will thank me for it.
--Lucy Lawless Fan Club Newsletter, 1/15/97
Skin sells, baby, skin sells.
--Regis and Kathy Lee, 1/17/97
I'm just shy of six feet. I've been told I'm not allowed to tell people my real height anymore. [Whispering] Five-ten, five-ten, five-ten-and-a-half.
--Regis and Kathy Lee, 1/17/97
I've always thought it's a very courageous or a very stupid man that takes me on.
--Regis and Kathy Lee, 1/17/97
We don't want to make a bloody middle-of-the-road show.
--Mr. Showbiz, 1/28/97
I want to be a fine actress, a really fine actress. I guess you don't aim to be mediocre in anything, do you?
--Mr. Showbiz, 1/28/97
You've just got to do the work with all the integrity you can and then just throw it out to the world.
--Mr. Showbiz, 1/28/97
Lucy Lawless on the Making of Hercules and Xena
Xena's a mystery. There's a certain mystique. She doesn't give out too much. You don't know too much about her thought processes.
--The Making of Hercules and Xena, 2/1/97
We just try to make a show that pleases us and we have to enjoy it and laugh alot, because this is our life--14 hours a day--and life goes by pretty quick, you know, if you're not paying attention.
--The Making of Hercules and Xena, 2/1/97
I don't think of her as a warrior. I think of her as just a working woman--a working stiff.
--The Making of Hercules and Xena, 2/1/97
I couldn't do all my own stunts, because a) some of them are too dangerous, b) we just don't have time. So, if you don't see my face, there's a good chance it's not me. Shhh!
--The Making of Hercules and Xena, 2/1/97
I think, in any creative endeavor, you just have to make something that you believe in and we just try to make a show that makes us laugh.
--The Making of Hercules and Xena, 2/1/97
It just seems to have caught a wave. I am hoping it will be the next sort of media phenomenon...next television phenomenon and, with any luck, it's going to endure to be the last one of the century and it's a good way to go into the next century, I think.
--Sci-Fi Buzz, 2/20/97
XENA
I've just cut off the flow of blood to your brain.
--numerous episodes
I have many skills.
--numerous episodes
Aiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi.
--numerous episodes
Chariots of War
Don't run. Sometimes you have to stand and fight.
--Chariots of War
Hope has been and always will be safe. It's inside every one of us.
--Cradle of Hope
Making war is simple. Making peace is never easy. If it was, everyone would do it.
--Hooves and Harlots
My name is Xena. I'm a problem-solver.
--The Black Wolf
If you've got a problem with me, take it up with me.
--The Black Wolf
You have to have faith in yourself, Flora. Otherwise, you spend the rest of your life waiting for other people to offer their hand to you. --The Black Wolf
No one should pass up their dream.
--Athens City Academy of the Performing Bards
Even if I had an army around me, I'd still notice you were missing.
--Athens City Academy of the Performing Bards
Thanks for being my family.
--Athens City Academy of the Performing Bards
I only remember one story told to me when I was young. It was about two orphans who decided to search the world for their families. It's all about their adventures and how they kept searching. But the part I remember most is the end. When the first man reached the end of his journey, he found himself at the beginning. The family he had sought had traveled the world with him...the only family he had ever known, ever needed.
--Started by Xena, finished by Gabrielle
Athens City Academy of the Performing Bards
My horse threw me and I broke my little neck.
--Mortal Beloved
Stick to the philosophy and not the fantasy.
--The Royal Couple of Thieves
Act, don't react.
--The Prodigal
Altared States
Come on, Gabrielle, you've been wanting to do this for ages.
--Altared States
Call it my maternal instinct.
--Altared States
Gabrielle, I want you to understand something. We both have families we were born into, but sometimes families change and we have to build our own. For me, our friendship binds us closer than blood ever could.
--Ties That Bind
Give up on me, Ares. I'm never coming back.
--Ties That Bind
You swing a pretty mean pitchfork.
--Ties That Bind
When I was very young, I would stand in the field and watch my father ride his horse and he'd come so close and I'd stand fast, not moving a muscle. Then he'd gather me up into his arms and off we'd go. I thought he was the greatest man in the world.
--Ties That Bind
Everybody makes mistakes...including me.
--Ties That Bind
Sometimes you have to have patience with things that annoy you.
--The Greater Good
Gabrielle, yell at me later.
--The Greater Good
Don't change, Gabrielle. I like you just the way you are.
--Callisto
People like us should listen to people like Gabrielle.
--Callisto
It was just another village to conquer...nothing out of the ordinary. Fire broke out and I don't know if it was one of my men or just an accident, but there was a strong wind and those flames just swept through that town like a wave of death. The people were huddled in their houses, because they were afraid of my army. That was one time when my army was responsible for the deaths of women and children. And there was just a handful of survivors. Obviously, Callisto was one of them.
--Callisto
Callisto
Be careful. I am in a bad mood!
--Callisto
No, we can't kill them. They're the good guys. Remember?
--Death Mask
She knows more about wisdom and justice than you'll ever know.
--Death Mask
Don't leave me. Don't you leave me! Don't leave me! Wake up! Wake up!! Wake up!!!
--Is There a Doctor in the House?
Gabrielle lives by her own code. That code doesn't include killing.
--Is There a Doctor in the House?
Gabrielle...you know, if I could do it all over again, I'd take the southern route. I'm so sorry.
--Is There a Doctor in the House?
My pride may have killed my best friend.
--Is There a Doctor in the House?
I'm not that wise.
--Is There a Doctor in the House?
Mother, I never meant for this to happen. I just wanted that boy's life back. And now I've got another chance at life, too, so I'm going to take it. The hardest thing is losing you and Gabrielle...but it makes it easier just knowing that, in this life, I never shamed you...and Gabrielle never left her family and I never led Lyceus to die in battle. And I know that's what you would've wanted. It's like Xena, Warrior Princess never existed...but the world's a better place without her.
--Remember Nothing
I hate long flights.
--Remember Nothing
You remind me of my best friend. When I look at you, I see the purest, the kindest person I have ever known. Someone who's full of wonder and stories and would never give up on anything...or anyone.
--Remember Nothing
You are my friend.
--Remember Nothing
I owe you my life, Goliath, not the lives of others.
--The Giant Killer
Spider. Sand spider.
--Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Gabrielle, do it.
--Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Goodbye, Gabrielle.
--Return of Callisto
If anyone's listening, you know I'm not much for praying, but I don't know what else to do. I was ready to give up once and Gabrielle came into my life. Please...don't let that light that shines out of her face go out. I couldn't stand the darkness that would follow.
--Return of Callisto
Gabrielle, you are a gift to me.
--A Solstice Carol
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful.
--Here She Comes...Miss Amphipolis.
You see? I can play, too.
--Destiny
Let go and hold on.
--The Quest
I like to be creative in a fight. It gets my juices going.
--A Day in the Life
One eel comin' up.
--A Day in the Life
I think that'd just attract a kinkier group.
--A Day in the Life
Now take it easy. There were no good leaves in the bush. I used the piece that didn't have much writing on it.
--A Day in the Life
Are you sitting on the soap?
--A Day in the Life
Yo, Hower.
--A Day in the Life
Hower, Minya's a good woman. She loves you. You're lucky to have her. And you got a snowball's chance in Tartarus with me. Ya got that?
--A Day in the Life
Come on, Gareth, ya couldn't catch a cold!
--A Day in the Life
Maybe there's more to being human than acting brave and strong.
--Hercules and Xena, The Animated Movie
GABRIELLE
She'd never let a man get close enough to do her...at least not that kind of "do her." But a young, nnocent girl like me, I'll catch her totally off guard.
--Sins of the Past
Sins of the Past
You're not alone.
--Sins of the Past
I'm looking for my best friend. Maybe you've seen her. Six feet tall, dark hair, lots of leather. She fights like the harpies in a bad mood. Her name is Xena.
--Chariots of War
Now I'll end up some lonely, pathetic woman like...never mind.
--Chariots of War
If I die, I'll never talk to you again!
--Chariots of War
It's not like your breasts aren't dangerous enough.
--Dream Worker
You fight, I talk. We each have our gifts.
--Cradle of Hope
What we have here is a failure to communicate.
--The Path Not Taken
She's really special, isn't she? Sometimes I wonder what she sees in me.
--Prometheus
Once, a long, long time ago, all people had four legs and two heads and then the gods threw down thunderbolts and split everyone into two. Each half then had two legs and one head. But the separation left both sides with a desperate yearning to be reunited, because they each shared the same soul. And, ever since then, all people spend their lives searching for the other half of their soul.
--Prometheus
I have a friend who's a little bit on the intimidating side.
--Prometheus
You're not much for girl talk, are you?
--Prometheus
Don't judge a scroll by it's paper.
--Hooves and Harlots
I'm sorry, but you must have me mistaken for a pet.
--Hooves and Harlots
We gotta come up with some hand signals or something.
--Hooves and Harlots
Excuse me...have you seen Xena? She's tall...she's beautiful...piercing, blue eyes...swings a mean right hook.
--The Black Wolf
You know, you wouldn't be in here in the first place if you'd kept your hands off my tomatoes.
--The Black Wolf
You see the pointy ends of those swordy things the guards are carrying? Stay away from them.
--The Black Wolf
She's not much for parties.
--Beware of Greeks Bearing Gifts
Do you want to go back for the horse? It's bound to be a collector's item.
--Beware of Greeks Bearing Gifts
Athens City Academy of the Performing Bards
Most people think of death as the end when, in fact, death can be the beginning.
--Athens City Academy of the Performing Bards
When I tell a story, I like it to have a nice ending. You know? Sap up the wrap up.
--Athens City Academy of the Performing Bards
Stop focusing on the destination. It's the journey that's the fun.
--Athens City Academy of the Performing Bards
This is the story of two friends.
--Athens City Academy of the Performing Bards
GABRIELLE: You had people waiting on you hand and foot, fulfilling your every whim.
XENA: Hey, that's what you're here for.
--Warrior...Princess
She taught me when to fight and when to talk. She taught me how to know the difference between a friend and an enemy. And she taught me what it means to have a best friend.
--The Prodigal
I'm good, I'm good. Considering I was almost road-kill, I'm perfect.
--The Prodigal
How is it man can solve the riddle of the sphinx, but he still can't make a decent road map?
--The Prodigal
By the gods! You are beautiful!
--Altared States
This rock told me I had to come find you. His voice was a little gravelly, but I understood.
--Altared States
No! Look at me! I'm standing up to a murderous warlord like I saw you do against Draco. But this time the warlord is you!
--Ties That Bind
Goodbye, Xena.
--Ties That Bind
One big, naked defeat?
--The Greater Good
It's just what happens with things that you love...sometimes they just leave you.
--The Greater Good
Xena, are you gonna die?
--The Greater Good
The Greater Good
I have to focus. I have to focus. Xena said to focus.
--The Greater Good
It was your last wish. For all that you've given me and all the times you saved my life, I would go to Tartarus and back to carry it out.
--The Greater Good
Somebody has to say no to this lust for revenge.
--Callisto
Look, you promise me...if something happens to me, you will not become a monster. There's only one way to end this cycle of hatred and it's through love and forgiveness.
--Callisto
It's just about ready. Of course, it's missing my sister's seventeen secret herbs and spices.
--Death Mask
Sorry you had to witness that, Toris.
--Death Mask
She's amazing. I mean, I've learned so much about inner strength just from watching her.
--Death Mask
I'll just go guard some villagers or something--even if they're not in danger.
--Death Mask
I have got to learn to keep my mouth shut.
--Is There a Doctor in the House?
If you don't know, it must be Xena.
--Orphan of War
He won't admit that it hurts. I guess he's alot like his mom.
--Orphan of War
I pride myself on being your friend and I should have realized that you were hurting. I'm here for you.
--Orphan of War
If there's one thing I've learned, it's that you can't trust anyone.
--Remember Nothing
I don't know whether to thank you or to hate you.
--Remember Nothing
I reminded you of your friend.
--Remember Nothing
Here's your sweet thing.
--Remember Nothing
I hate it when you go cryptic on me.
--The Giant Killer
You know, you'd think she'd mention that her friend is taller than most pine trees.
--The Giant Killer
A cold bottom isn't fatal.
--Warrior...Princess...Tramp
I didn't know you did gift-wrapping.
--A Solstice Carol
A Solstice Carol
She's a very physical person.
--A Solstice Carol
I was speaking metaphorically. We shadows from the past tend to do that.
--A Solstice Carol
Xena, I know you can hear me...wherever you are. I know you always told me to be strong, but I can't be...not now. You can't leave me. I know it's not your time. I can feel it in my heart. I feel this emptiness that I've never known before and it scares me. Xena, above all, remember your destiny. Remember it and fight to come back. This world needs you...I need you.
--Destiny
You know, there are two kinds of tears: tears for those who leave you and tears for those you never let go.
--The Quest
Does an Amazon queen beat a warrior princess?
--A Necessary Evil
Can we cook with your juices?
--A Day in the Life
Like you would want me to butt in on one of your pinch interrogations.
--A Day in the Life
Two villages in dire straits. I hate when that happens.
--A Day in the Life
She likes what I do.
--A Day in the Life
It's the blue eyes, the leather. Some guys just love leather.
--A Day in the Life
You threw our only good cutting knife at a warlord last week. I bet it's still sticking out of his thigh.
--A Day in the Life
I don't understand it either, but I've learned that she works in mysterious ways.
--A Day in the Life
You used my scrolls?!?
--A Day in the Life
I do the sensitive chats.
--A Day in the Life
She's in that I'll-do-anything-for-the-warrior-princess phase.
--A Day in the Life
AUTOLYCUS
Royal Couple of Thieves
Isn't she something?
--The Royal Couple of Thieves
Of course, the trick in killing someone with an apricot is really in the wrist. The drawback is it kills instantly, so there's no time to gather information. So, for situations like that, well, I use a muffin.
--The Royal Couple of Thieves
Oh, come on. Do you really think those people would believe that someone like Sinteres would have someone like you without...having someone like you?
--The Royal Couple of Thieves
Hunger is the gods' way of saying...eat.
--The Royal Couple of Thieves
Nothing is as big as mine.
--The Royal Couple of Thieves
A multi-million dinar castle and no closets!
--The Royal Couple of Thieves
Thou shall not covet, thou shall not steal? Who could live by those laws?
--The Royal Couple of Thieves
The Quest
Hey, I paid for an hour.
--The Quest
ARES
By the Gods, you are a beauty.
--The Reckoning
Don't be ashamed of your past, Xena. It's made you the great woman you are today.
--As Atrius, Ties That Bind
I though about it for a long time. What could I do to win you back? Money? Power? What was your weakness? Then it came to me...daddy!
--Ties That Bind
Oh, yeah, yeah, you've been great about the sacrifice thing.
--Ties That Bind
Sometimes the best man for a job is a woman.
--Ties That Bind
I'll give you a hint: think irritating blonde.
--The Xena Scrolls
If the world thinks it knows death and destruction now, wait 'til they get a load of me.
--The Xena Scrolls
The world's become a glorious place, the weapons more lethal, the people more hateful and there's a new leader...alot of vision, alot of potential...his name is Hitler. With my help, he's going to make alot of positive changes.
--The Xena Scrolls
CALLISTO
Callisto
The idea of your pity is worse than death for me.
--Callisto
You created a monster with integrity, Xena. Scary, isn't it?
--Callisto
You're beginning to hate me. You've fought it, because of some silly sense of guilt, huh? Now I'm a painful reminder of what you used to be and how you may never leave it.
--Callisto
You know, there used to be some respect mixed up in my hatred for you, but, tsk-tsk, not anymore. Your petty scruples are an embarrassment. As a villian, you were awesome. As a hero, you are a sentimental fool.
--Callisto
I long to see you wailing over the body of your friend.
--Return of Callisto
And then it's you and me and the ambrosia. I just had a marvelous thought. Why don't you and I both eat it. That way we could be fighting each other for eternity.
--A Necessary Evil
Here comes trouble.
--A Necessary Evil
How have you been? Any new husbands since the last one I killed?
--A Necessary Evil
MEG
Warrior...Princess...Tramp
You never said nothin' about no kinky stuff.
--Warrior...Princess...Tramp
My name's Xena...and that's Xena with a capital Z.
--Warrior...Princess...Tramp
I need your sword in my service right now.
--Warrior...Princess...Tramp
Eat the fruit, baby!
--Warrior...Princess...Tramp
My father died in childbirth. He got drunk and fell off the roof when I was being born.
--Warrior...Princess...Tramp
Three women that look so much alike and, yet, inside so different. One's a warrior and one's a princess and...one's a tramp.
--Warrior...Princess...Tramp
You like spicy foods, Kingy?
--Warrior...Princess...Tramp
Hold it right there. In the blink of an eye, I can split the skull of anyone who moves with my trusty...shamrock.
--Warrior...Princess...Tramp
MISCELLANEOUS
Sometimes, in life, you go with your heart, not your head.
--Hercules, Prometheus
It's a man's world, Gabrielle, not because it should be, but because we let them have it.
--Terreis, Hooves and Harlots
Hooves and Harlots
She's annoying. How have you put up with her?
--Ephiny, Hooves and Harlots
Wait a minute...those boots...that leather...those legs...Xena!
--Salmoneus, The Black Wolf
I got fifteen belts, four ropes and three proposals. This is disgusting work.
--Salmoneus, The Black Wolf
She's your friend? You have a friend?
--Salmoneus, The Black Wolf
You've done alot for me, Xena. You've shown me the only person that can make me happy is me.
--Helen, Beware of Greeks Bearing Gifts
XENA: What do you want to do?
HELEN: I don't know. Nobody's ever asked me that before.
--Beware of Greeks Bearing Gifts
Amazing. It's like looking in a mirror...before I brush my hair.
--Diana, Warrior...Princess
It's my round killing thing.
--Diana, Warrior...Princess
Looking to the left, you will see the Caves of Despair. And just coming up ahead on the right, you will see the Hanging Gardens of Disgusting Diseases.
--Charon, Mortal Beloved
The Prodigal
That's a very lovely hat, young woman. You should have her bathed and brought to my tent.
--Meleager the Mighty, The Prodigal
Proud warrioress...I will miss you.
--Salmoneus, The Greater Good
I'm writing down everything you taught us. I want all future generations of healers to understand what values you feel are necessary to practice. We must pass on your wisdom.
--Hippocrates, Is There a Doctor in the House?
With this, I'll sweep the world like a rampaging wind. I'll kill Xena, I'll kill Hercules, I'll take Athens. I've got so much to do. I'll have to make a list. --Dagnine, Orphan of War
You know, Xena, I know you don't think very much of me and that's fine, but I care about Gabrielle, too, and I would do anything to avenge her loss, including sacrificing my own life.
--Joxer, Return of Callisto
Don't make me giggle.
--Smythe, The Xena Scrolls
Now, that's no way to treat a lady.
--Janice Covington, The Xena Scrolls
The most important archeological find of the century...something that will revolutionize the way we look at the ancient world. It has the power to turn myth into history, history into myth. The Xena Scrolls.
--Janice Covington, The Xena Scrolls
Xena was the dark-haired one. The blonde was an impostor named Callisto. Well, it's an easy mistake to make.
--Melinda Pappas, The Xena Scrolls
Divide and conquer, my friend. You divide a woman's emotions from her sensibilities and you have her.
--Julius Caesar, Destiny
You are the main thing, the real deal, you know, the number one attraction.
--Minya, A Day in the Life
A Day in the Life
What's it like to travel with the hottest warrior in the butt-kicking biz?
--Minya, A Day in the Life
No, it belongs to me. You don't get that concept real well, do you? The whip is mine, the frying pan is yours. Hower is mine...she's yours.
--Minya, A Day in the Life
You're not the only tough broad around here, you know.
--Minya, A Day in the Life
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