Whoosh! 'A date! I want a date! Is that too much to ask around here? Just a lousy date with a non-straight woman!!!!'
After non-date four, Lena and Bianca
were cautiously moving into date territory

Lena Kundera

April 7, 2003

(Lena appearance)
Last update: 09/28/03

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Lena Kundera (Olga Sosnovska)
Boyd Larraby (Marc Menard)
Laurie Lewis (Alexandra Daddario)
Bianca Montgomery (Eden Riegel)


Lena and Binks have breakfast together at BJ's (non-date #4); Lena asks Binks if she would like to hear a good blues band playing at SOS later in the week; Binks wonders if it's a date; Lena says yes; Boyd arrives and Binks tells him about their date plans; Boyd's confused about Lena's mixed signals, and Lena tells him that she likes both men and women; Boyd eats Binks' hash browns while Bianca's in the bathroom; Lena tells Boyd, "I like men and women"; Lena gets a call from Michael, lies to them that it's her landlord (at the PVI?) telling them about a burst pipe; Lena kisses both Bianca and Boyd on the cheek and then rushes off. Binks gloats about winning the bet but Boyd tells her about Lena's kissing him earlier at Myrtle's; "So what," says Bianca, "she can't be bisexual?"; Lena arrives at Michael's and tells him she's not getting anywhere with Boyd; Michael tells her he's trying to get Kendall to seduce Boyd; Boyd's tired of getting jerked around by Lena and even gets miffed when Kendall calls him


From The Official Site at ABC.com:

Boyd is suspicious of Lena when she claims to be bisexual.

From About All My Children

Bianca and Lena are at BJ's, having breakfast and a lively discussion about the talents of Norah Jones and Alicia Keyes. Bianca laughs as she asks how a numbers cruncher from Poland knows so much about American music? Lena teases, "You think I'm into polka? I have many tastes - you'll see." She adds that there's a band playing at S.O.S. this week that really defines American blues, "I'd like to take you." Bianca hesitates for a moment before saying she needs to ask her a question, "And I need to have a straight answer from you, so to speak - if we go to S.O.S. together, will it be on a date? I mean like a real, honest-to-goodness, woman to woman date?" Lena smiles as she replies, "Yes, a real date, if that's okay with you." Bianca beams as she accepts. Boyd comes up and teases that Bianca looks way too happy for this early in the morning. When she explains that Lena just asked her for a date, Boyd looks questioningly at Ms. Condera before telling Bianca that's terrific. Bianca runs to check her makeup before work, and Boyd joins Lena. "So, you and Bianca, huh?" he asks, and she smiles as she agrees it will be fun. He asks if kissing him was also fun, and Lena cheerfully agrees that it was; he's a very good kisser! Boyd asks what she's trying to pull? Bianca is his friend, and he won't let Lena hurt her. When Lena insists she likes Bianca, he says she kissed him! Lena tells him she likes him, too, "I like men and women."

Bianca sees Laurie and stops to say hi. She asks why she's not in school, and Laurie explains that it's senior privilege; it helps her pick up a few extra shifts. Bianca guesses she can't wait to graduate, but Laurie sighs as she says nothing has really gone as she planned. When Bianca asks if she sees much of J.R., Laurie tells her that he left town and joined the crew of a cargo ship; he blew off college, and his brother is totally freaked, too. She says that before J.R. left, Jamie was kind of hitting on her, and now he wants to go out but she said no because of J.R. He got really mad and just took off. When Bianca assures her that Jamie is going to be fine, Laurie says she doesn't understand - he took off with a hooker! Bianca's jaw drops, and Laurie goes on that her name is Holly; she goes to PVU and hangs out here between jobs! She says it's so gross; how can Jamie tell her he likes her one second, and then he's with a prostitute the next? Bianca has no clue. Laurie says she doesn't get guys at all! Bianca agrees, "I hear you!" She turns to look at Lena, and concludes, "Trust me, women aren't that easy to figure out, either!"

Lena gets a call as Bianca returns to the table and bickers with Boyd over his eating her home fries. Michael asks Lena if she's alone, and if she can talk? When she says it's not a very good time, Cambias says that's too bad; he needs to talk to her, and she's to come over to his place now. "If you insist," she replies, and tells Bianca and Boyd it was her landlord about a burst pipe; she says she'll see them both at the office, and kisses them each on the cheek before leaving. Bianca sits down grinning, and Boyd tells her, "Easy, kiddo, she kissed both of us." Bianca insists that his was a friendship kiss, and she just won their bet! Larraby asks if she's sure of that, and Bianca tells him that she asked her flat out when they were making plans to clarify is this would be a romantic date, and she said it would. "So you've decided she's gay?" he asks. Bianca maintains she didn't decide anything; Lena is interested in her. Boyd says he didn't want to have to tell her this, but Lena kissed him when they were helping move him into Myrtle's, "I just called her on it, and she says she swings both ways." Bianca asks if she said that, and Boyd tells her that Lena said she likes both men and women. Bianca accepts that, "Well, so what, she can't be bisexual?" Boyd thinks she's playing one of them - something just doesn't feel right. Bianca thinks that maybe she just honestly likes them both.

Lena finds Michael in his bedroom, working on his laptop. She says she was hoping to find him in bed (presumably so she can work on his lap top!), but Michael tells her now isn't the time - they have business to attend to. Lena says she's trying; she just came from breakfast with Larraby and Bianca, but still no luck with Boyd; he's too hung up on Kendall, "Can't you get her to seduce the formula out of him?" Michael admits he tried last night, but she came home empty-handed. Puzzled, Lena says maybe he's not as hung up on her as she thought, but Michael says Kendall is the problem; he's afraid she has a conscience. Lena thinks it's time to turn up the pressure, and Michael smiles as he says it's already done, "Soon, Kendall won't be able to stand the heat." Lena asks if he really thinks Kendall can get them the formula, and Michael says she has no choice now. Lena teases that something tells her Michael has been a very bad boy! Michael grins as he says the first rule of business is to always have a backup plan, "Kendall's integrity, such as it is, prevents her from hijacking Boyd and his formula, but this integrity will disappear just as soon as her company's threatened by a little old lady who just slapped Fusion with a million dollar lawsuit." He lies on the bed, and Lena says it will crush Fusion! Cambias concludes that it will make Kendall desperate. Lena lies on the bed with Michael as she asks if this little old lady happens to be on his payroll? Michael holds Lena as they lie together on the bed, and says there are a lot of people on his payroll. "Poor Kendall!" Lena tells him, "She won't know what hit her!" They laugh together.

From Soap Slut

Previously on All My Children
Kendall told The *sshat about the high demand Boyd soon will be in.
Boyd asked Lena if she was straight or gay; she kissed him in response.
Chris stalked Jack and Erica.
Carlos and Greenlee danced...

Lena and Bianca eat breakfast at BJ’s and discuss contemporary singers. Lena mentions that there’s a good blues band playing at SOS later in the week and wants to take Bianca, who wonders if it will be a date. Lena says yes...

Boyd arrives and Bianca jubilantly inform him of her and Lena’s date plans. He doesn’t even try to look happy for her. D***, when he’s in a snit over Kendall (which is all the time lately), he’s just not a pleasant person to be around. He’s kinda self-centered. That pretty much means he’s perfect for Kendall, doesn’t it? Bianca has to go p**. Boyd wants to eat Bianca’s hash browns while she’s in the bathroom but she threatens his life. Boyd is confused about the mixed signals Lena is giving out since she had kissed him and all, yet goes and asks out Bianca. Lena tells him that she likes men AND women (but doesn’t use that taboo word).

Bianca talks to Borie on her way back from the can. They talk about why she’s not in school which is some sort of high school work program and who cares? Bianca wonders if Borie is still seeing JR (I’ve decided to abandon the Shaggy moniker since that actor is gone. Bianca just now mentioning the incident in which JR spilled beer on Borie was pre-Shaggy-actor anyway). Borie is forced to inform yet another clueless, out-of-the-gossip-loop person that JR is gone. Borie lays all her recent problems with Greasy on Bianca and vents her frustration that he went home with a hooker. This scene bites. Bianca has almost no lines and Borie keeps blowing all of hers. Sigh...

Bianca is irate to discover that Boyd ate her hash browns while she was gone. “Come on, you were gone like forever. I’m only human,” he protests. Lena gets a phone call from The *sshat. He directs her to come right over. She hangs up, lies that her landlord just called to tell her about a burst pipe and takes off.

Bianca gloats to Boyd about winning the bet. He isn’t so sure yet. He tells her about Lena kissing him and that she said she likes both genders. “So what?” Bianca says. “She can’t be bisexual?” *thump* That was me hitting the floor in shock. They said the word! Whoooooooaaaa...

Lena arrives at The *sshat’s place. She reports that she has made zilch progress with Boyd since he’s so hung up on Kendall. *sshat reports trying to angle Kendall into seducing Boyd but no go; so he’s decided to force her hand...

Boyd’s tired of being jerked around by Lena. He answers Kendall’s call on his cell phone but is still in a p**** mood and basically hangs up on her. Bianca is shocked that he hanged up on Kendall “Dream Woman” Hart. He starts crowing about a break-through he made today and drags Bianca out of BJ’s by the hand.

The *sshat is behind the lawsuit against Fusion. He needed to nudge Kendall into opening the lines of communication with Boyd.


By Kym
Clip E is the first time Lena ever tries to blow off Michael. It does not work, but it is interesting that it happens right after Lena asks Bianca on a date. However by Clip F Lena is ready to jump back into bed with him!


This parody is by LizzieT.

Lena parts are indicated in red for those who only want a Lena fix

It was morning in Pine Valley as Holly woke up on Jamie's couch.
Holly: Oh no. I can't believe I fell asleep.
Jamie: That's OK. My storyline usually puts people to sleep.
Holly: We still have time if you want the breakfast special.
Brooke: What's going on here?
Holly: Ooops. I gotta go. See ya.
Jamie: Mom, what are you doing here?
Brooke: I live here. I haven't been written out yet - at least not that I'm aware of.
Jamie: I wasn't sure. You haven't been on in a long time.
Brooke: It looks like it's a good thing I'm back. Was that the newbie hooker?
Jamie: I'm not a little kid anymore Mom. I can't tell you everything about my life.
Brooke: But you've always told me everything - except for those months that you were mute.

Jack woke up after having a nightmare that Chris found him with Erica and shot them.
Jack: I've got to check into getting some bullet proof condoms.

Later Erica told him she wasn't sure about their relationship.
Erica: I don't know what to do Jack. I was engaged to Chris just yesterday - or maybe it was last week. It's hard to tell in Pine Valley.
Jack: You're sending me a lot of mixed signals Erica. You say you want me to leave but you're out here in the living room dressed like that. If you didn't want me to want you, you'd be wearing flannel.
Erica: What's flannel? And I'm out here in the living room because they haven't built a bedroom set for the penthouse yet. Can you believe Erica Kane without a bedroom? No wonder my engagement to Chris didn't last.

Opal tried to talk some sense into Erica.
Erica: I don't know how I feel. One day the script says I love Jack, the next day it says that I love Chris.
Opal: I think it's a no-brainer girlfriend. Jack is handsome, sexy, he loves you and he's still under contract.

Some of the gang gathered for breakfast at BJ's.
Bianca: So Laurie, how's JR.
Laurie: He left on a tramp steamer a few weeks ago. Didn't you know?
Bianca: Sorry, I usually fast-forward most of your scenes.
Boyd: Bianca, I asked Lena why she's dating you and kissing me. She said she likes both men and women.
Bianca: And I thought I was cutting edge for ABC daytime.

Over at Fusion the girls were showing up for work.
Greenlee: I think I'll listen to some music.
Carlos: Would you like to dance again?
Greenlee: For the love of God no! I still hope to salvage my career when this storyline is over.
Mia: Oooh, Carlos and Greenlee are talking.
Simone: Maybe they're talking dirty. :::snicker:::::
Greenlee: We've been sued This woman says that watching the Fusion storyline has caused her to lose brain cells. We need to call Kenny.
Mia: Maybe we should call Kendall too.
Simone: I don't like her anymore. Boyd likes her better than me. He always waits for her after study hall.
Mia: Oh, I'm sorry. That's so sad. Maybe we could toilet paper her locker.
Greenlee: Can we please talk about business! Kenny, does this woman really have a law suit against us?
Kenny: She could drag you through the court system for years. She could even call all those message board people who think this storyline is silly to testify.
Carlos: Why don't you just call her and ask her to drop the suit?
Kenny: That's a terrible idea. Who are you going to listen to - me or the maintenance guy?
Simone: Hello - lady who is suing us? I'm Simone.
Kenny: What did she say?
Simone: She said my character alone has caused her to lose 20 IQ points.
Kendall: I can't believe this is happening. At least I have Michael who's totally devoted to me.
Greenlee: Our company could go under. If only we had something special that would make a lot of money for us.
Kendall: :::light bulb over head:::: Maybe there is something I can do. Hello, Boyd. This is Kendall. I need you.
Boyd: Forget it Kendall.
Bianca: Did you just say no to Kendall?
Boyd: Yes I did. Hey, do you want to see something that will make your eyes pop out?
Bianca: I'm gay Boyd. Remember?


Unverified in non-clip parts

***** (clip a) [Lena appears on previously on AMC: Boyd asks Lena if she's straight or gay"]

previously on "All My Children"
Kendall: Once the whole world gets wind of Boyd's new formula, everyone's going to want him.
Michael: Enchantment is lucky to have him, then.
[amc030407a-inc starts]
Boyd: Are you straight or gay?
[amc030407a-inc ends]
Jack: Let's go home.

***** (clip b) [Lena asks Bianca out on a "real" date]

Bianca: Well, I can't decide who I like best. I mean, Norah Jones has the most beautiful voice.
Lena: Yes, but Alicia Keyes writes and plays her own music.
Bianca: Exactly. [amc030407b-inc starts] How does a numbers cruncher from Poland know so much about American music?
Lena: You think I'm into polka? I have many tastes, you'll see. Actually, there's a band playing at S.O.S. this week that redefines American blues. I'd like to take you.
Bianca: Um -- Lena, I -- I need to ask you a question. And I need to have a straight answer from you, so to speak.
Lena: Ask me anything.
Bianca: If we go to S.O.S. together, will it be on a date? I mean, like a real, honest to goodness, woman-to-woman date?
Lena: Yes. A real date. If that's ok with you.

***** (clip c) [Lena admits to Boyd she likes both men and women]

[amc030407c starts]
Lena: So, you go hear music with me?
Bianca: I'd love to.
Lena: Good.
Boyd: Morning, ladies.
Lena: Oh, Boyd.
Bianca: Hey there.
Boyd: What's with you? You look way too happy first thing in the morning.
Bianca: Oh, well, Lena actually just asked me on a date.
Boyd: Really? Well, that's terrific.
Bianca: Hey, do you want to sit down? I'm just going to run to the ladies' room and check my makeup before we head to work.
Lena: You look beautiful.
Boyd: Hey, do you mind if I have your hash browns?
Bianca: Only if you want me to kill you.
Boyd: Gotcha. So, you and Bianca, huh?
Lena: Yes, it'll be fun.
Boyd: And what about kissing me? Was that also fun?
Lena: Yes, it was. You're a very good kisser.
Boyd: Lena, just what are you trying to pull? Listen, Bianca's my friend, and I won't let you hurt her.
Lena: I won't hurt her, Boyd. I like her.
Boyd: You kissed me.
Lena: I like you, too. I like men and women.

***** (clip d) [Bianca states that women aren't easy to figure out (Lena seen)]

Bianca: Laurie, hey.
Laurie: Bianca, hi.
Bianca: Hey, how come you're not in school?
Laurie: Senior privilege. Helps me pick a few extra shifts.
Bianca: Awesome. So, I guess you can't wait to graduate, huh?
Laurie: Nothing's really gone the way that I planned.
Bianca: Well, how are you? Are you still seeing a lot of J.R.? I know you were, even after he spilled that beer on you.
Laurie: Um -- J.R. left town.
Bianca: He did?
Laurie: Yeah, he joined the crew of this cargo ship.
Bianca: What? What about college?
Laurie: He blew it off. And his brother is totally freaked, too.
Bianca: Jamie Martin? How come?
Laurie: Before J.R. left, Jamie was kind of hitting on me. And now he wants us to go out, but I said no because of J.R. And everything. And he got really mad and just took off.
Bianca: Well, don't worry. Jamie is going to be fine.
Laurie: No, you don't understand. He took off with a hooker.
Bianca: What?
Laurie: This girl, Holly. I mean, she goes to P.V.U. and she hangs out around here between jobs. Oh, it's so gross. I mean, [amc030407d-inc starts] how can Jamie tell me he likes one second, and then he's with a prostitute the next?
Bianca: I have no clue.
Laurie: Oh, I just -- I don't get guys at all.
Bianca: I hear you. Trust me, women aren't that easy to figure out, either.
[Bianca looks at Lena]

***** (clip e) [Boyd tells Bianca about Lena kissing him]

[amc030407e starts]
Bianca: Hey! What happened to my hash browns?
Boyd: Oh, come on. You've been gone, like, forever. I'm only human.
[Phone rings]
Lena: Excuse me.
Boyd: What?
Lena: Yes?
Michael: Hey, it's me. Are you alone? Can you talk?
Lena: Actually, no. It's not a very good time.
Michael: Well, too bad. I need to talk to you. Come over to my place now.
Lena: If you insist.
Bianca: What was that?
Lena: Oh, it's my landlord, something about a burst pipe in my apartment.
Bianca: Oh. I hope it's not serious.
Lena: Oh, I doubt it. So I'll see you two at the office. Bye-bye.
[Kisses Bianca and Boyd on the cheek]
Boyd: Good luck.
Lena: Thank you.
Boyd: Easy, kiddo. She kissed both of us.
Bianca: Yeah, well, yours was a friendship kiss. I just won our bet.
Boyd: Really? You're sure about that?
Bianca: Yeah, I'm positive. When we were making plans, I asked Lena to clarify, asked her flat-out whether this would be a romantic date, and she said it would.
Boyd: So you've decided she's gay?
Bianca: I didn't decide anything. She's just made it known that she's interested in me.
Boyd: Look, I didn't want to have to tell you this, but Lena kissed me that day she helped me move into the boarding house.
Bianca: What kind of kiss?
Boyd: A kiss kiss -- sexy, on the mouth. And I just called her on it, and she said she swings both ways.
Bianca: She said that?
Boyd: Yeah. She said she likes both men and women.
Bianca: Well, so what? What, she can't be bisexual?
Boyd: Look, I think she's playing one of us.
Bianca: Boyd, why would she do that?
Boyd: I don't know. Just something doesn't feel right.
Bianca: You know what? Maybe she's telling the truth. Maybe she honestly likes us both.

***** (clip f) [Michael shares his progress with Kendall to Lena]

Lena: Michael, are you here?
Michael: In the bedroom.
Lena: [amc030407f-inc starts] Oh. I was hoping to find you in bed.
Michael: Now is not the time. We've got business to attend to.
Lena: I'm trying. I've just come from breakfast with Larraby and Bianca.
Michael: And?
Lena: Still no luck with Boyd. He's too hung up on Kendall. Can't you get her to seduce the formula out of him?
Michael: I tried. I steered her right at Boyd last night, and she came home empty-handed.
Lena: Maybe he's not as taken with her as I thought.
Michael: The problem is Kendall. I am afraid she has a conscience.
Lena: Hmm. Sounds like you need to turn up the pressure.
Michael: Already done.
Lena: What did you do?
Michael: You'll see. Soon Kendall won't be able to stand the heat.

***** (clip g) [Michael tells Lena about the lawsuit against Fusion]

[amc030407g starts]
Lena: You really think Kendall can get at the formula?
Michael: She has no choice now.
Lena: Something tells me you've been a very bad boy.
Michael: Personal or business, I always have a back up plan.
Lena: Which is?
Michael: Well, you see Kendall's integrity such as it is prevents her from highjacking Boyd and his formula, but this integrity will disappear just as soon as her company's threatened.
Lena: By you?
Michael: By a little old lady who just slapped Fusion with a million dollar lawsuit.
Lena: That'll crush Fusion
Michael: Hell, it'll make Kendall desperate.
Lena: that little old lady doesn't happen to be on your payroll, does she?
Michael: Oh, I have a lot of people on my payroll
Lena: Poor Kendall, she won't know what hit her.


I have the following clips:
amc030407a-inc.mpg (746k; 0:04) Lena appears on previously on AMC; Boyd asks Lena if she's straight or gay"
amc030407b-inc.mpg (9.3m; 0:54) Lena asks Bianca out on a "real" date
amc030407c.mpg (11.6m; 1:08) Lena admits to Boyd she likes both men and women
amc030407d-inc.mpg (3.8m; 0:22) Bianca states that women aren't easy to figure out
amc030407e.mpg (18.3m; 1:47) Boyd tells Bianca about Lena kissing him
amc030407f-inc.mpg (8.3m; 0:49) Michael shares his progress with Kendall to Lena
amc030407g.mpg (9.6m; 0:56) Michael tells Lena about the lawsuit against Fusion

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