Whoosh! Boyd's cream is also a lesbian pheromone
Lena apologizes for her kissus interruptus

Lena Kundera

April 8, 2003

(Lena appearance)
Last update: 09/28/03

Previous Episode |AMC Guide |Episode Guide |Next Episode


Michael Cambias (William De Vry)
Lena Kundera (Olga Sosnovska)
Boyd Larraby (Marc Menard)
Bianca Montgomery (Eden Riegel)
Val (Michael Malone)


Boyd tells Binks about his secret cream while Lena lurks outside the office (which Binks assures him is the safest place in the building if you don't want to be overheard -- ha!); Val notices her eavesdropping but she talks her way out of it; Binks runs into Lena; Lena nearly kisses Binks, who backs away; Lena apologizes and says Binks smells so good; Binks lets slip about Boyd's cream, and Lena tells her that it isn't safe not to have the formula written down; Lena makes a call on her cell phone, presumably to Michael, leaving a message that she's a step closer to getting the formula out of Boyd's head


From The Official Site at ABC.com:

Lena eavesdrops as Boyd tells Bianca about the formula he developed for an anti-aging skin cream. Later, Lena casually suggests to Bianca that she should urge Boyd to put his formula on paper.

From About All My Children

Bianca leads Boyd into Erica's office, saying her mother's not here, and this is the safest place in the building if he doesn't want to be overheard. Boyd agrees he can't risk anyone finding out about this. As he opens his briefcase, Lena comes to the door and listens. Boyd hands Bianca a container of his creation, a revolution in a jar that does what every other product on the market promises but can't deliver. "Eternal youth?' Bianca asks. Boyd tells her almost; it doesn't just slow the aging process, it stops it. He explains that he experimented with some restorative cell therapy and some DNA technology, threw in some secrets of his own, and came up with this! Bianca thinks that's amazing, and asks if she can try some? Boyd tells her she'd better! Bianca puts some of the cream on her face, and teases that she can feel it working already! Lena listens at the door as Bianca asks if her mom knows about this? Boyd says no, he actually kind of broke his agreement with her; his deal with Erica was that he got free rein in the R & D lab, as long as she was the first to try the product, "So now she'll be the second." He adds that Erica expects something amazing, and he wanted her opinion before he made his big presentation. Bianca says the texture is so incredible, and asks if the formula is still trapped in that brain of his? Boyd agrees that not even his crew in the lab know; it's the only way to be sure the product is safe until he presents it to Erica. Bianca thinks it's awesome, and he's going to blow her away! Boyd tells her he plans to, any day now. Outside the door, Val catches Lena snooping and asks, "Can I help you?" Lena tells him she was just looking for a piece of paper to leave Erica a note. Val informs her that Erica's not even in today, and Lena asks him to just have Erica call her.

Bianca says it's no wonder Boyd's in such a good mood, between his wonder cream and the new woman in his life! Boyd asks what new woman? He says he and Simone have had a few dates, but it's nothing big. Bianca asks if his heart still belongs to Kendall, and Larraby tells her not if he can help it! Bianca tells him she's been there, and the more he tries to convince himself that he doesn't care about her, the more he will. He insists that this time he means it, and Bianca tells him not to let her use him. Boyd argues if anyone's being used, it's Kendall by that creep Cambias; he's after something, and it's not Kendall! Bianca wonders if that's just wishful thinking? He replies that he's positive; he doesn't know what he's after, but thinks it has something to do with Erica; he just hopes Kendall sees it before it's too late.

Bianca leaves Erica's office and runs into Lena. When Ms. Condera [sic] looks past her into the office, Bianca says Erica's not in; she was just borrowing her office. Lena says she wanted to apologize for her rudeness this morning, and tells Bianca everything is fine at her apartment. Bianca says she'd better get back to work, and Lena tells her she hopes they can get together again without any interruptions. She catches Bianca's arm and moves in to kiss her, but Bianca asks, "What are you doing?" Lena apologizes, saying she didn't mean to startle her - she just smells so good! Bianca laughs as she thanks her, adding that it must be Boyd's magic cream! Lena asks if it's a perfume, and Bianca tells her not to ask any more questions because she's sworn to secrecy! Lena tells her to say no more; in this business, discretion can be the difference between success and failure. Bianca agrees that Boyd is definitely discreet - he hasn't even written down the formula; it's all locked in his head! Lena wonders if that's wise? If, God forbid, something should happen to him, all that work would be for nothing! Bianca never thought of it like that, but agrees with Lena that having no backup could be risky; she'll talk to him about that the next time she sees him. Bianca reminds Lena not to say a word, and Ms. Condera agrees she won't...

He [Michael] gets a call from Lena, who tells him she's one step closer to getting that formula out of Boyd's head on onto paper.

From Soap Slut

Boyd’s got his super top secret thingie that he’s dying to show Bianca. He’s apprehensive about doing so in Erica’s office, but Bianca assures him that they’re in the place that’s the best to be in if you don’t want to be overheard. Pardon me while I laugh my *SS off. Whatever, Binks. Boyd prepares to open his briefcase while Lena lurks outside. See, Bianca? Did my riotous laughter tell you nothing?...

Boyd drops a jar into Bianca’s hands, claiming to have perfected an anti-aging cream. Lena eavesdrops still as Boyd tells Bianca that he hasn’t yet told Erica about it and that the formula is in his head and not on paper. Val finally notices Lena hanging on the door like one of those Garfield suction-cup dolls. But never fear, Lena fans. She manages to talk her way out of it.

Bianca comments about the turn Boyd’s life has taken: perfecting his formula and a new woman in his life. “What new woman?” Boyd asks. She’s talking about Smoan. Boyd makes a dismissive noise. Bianca realizes that he’s still pining away for Kendall. She’s glad that he’s trying to get over her sister and says that Kendall is just using him anyway. Boyd insists that Kendall is the one being used by that *sshat. He’s very upset about it...

Bianca runs into Lena. They have a pretty pointless conversation that I’m not really interested in until Lena tries to kiss Bianca. Whoa, that got my attention! Except Bianca backs away. Woman, HOW dry have you been? Hm? Take it where you can get it...

Lena apologizes for making a move. She says it’s because Bianca smelled so good. Bianca supposes that it’s because of Boyd’s magic cream. Lena’s ears instantly perk at Bianca’s comment and she tries to backpedal. She’s sworn to secrecy about it but mentions Boyd not having his formula on paper, blah blah blah. We all know it’s in his head. MUST they repeat it twenty million times? Lena worries about all that hard work being for nothing should something tragic happen to Boyd. She remarks that it would be wiser to have it as a backup. Bianca declares that she’ll talk to Boyd about it.

Lena dials her cell phone. She leaves a voice mail message that she’s a step closer to getting the formula on paper and out of Boyd’s head.


This parody is by LizzieT.

Lena parts are indicated in red for those who only want a Lena fix

Tad and Brooke had a little talk with Jamie about his date with a hooker.
Tad: I can't believe this.
Brooke: That our son brought home a hooker?
Tad: No, that our son has a better storyline than I do. What about a story where Tad meets a hooker and tries to reform her?
Jamie: I only did it because I feel so bad about Laurie. No matter what, she still prefers JR. He can skip class, flunk out of school, do drugs, and be recast with a weasel and she still likes him best.
Tad: What can I tell you son? Some girls just prefer rodents.

Holly the hooker went to talk to Laurie and Joanie about Jamie.
Holly: I just want you to know that nothing happened between Jamie and me.
Joanie: My dad says if you lust in your heart it's the same as lusting with other parts that I'm not supposed to know anything about.
Laurie: I'm glad nothing happened between you. I'm telling you I'm glad because I only have one basic expression and no one knows what I'm feeling unless I tell them.
Holly: How in the world are you two on contract and I'm just a day player?

Boyd showed Bianca his magic formula.
Boyd: Anyone who uses this will never age.
Bianca: That's amazing. What's in it?
Boyd: I made it out of cold cream and Erica's DNA. Just make sure you don't tell anyone anything about this.
Bianca: I promise, I won't tell a single soul. May I be struck by lightning if I tell anyone.
Lena: Hello Bianca. I was just lurking mysteriously in the hall. You look nice today.
Bianca: That's because I'm using Boyd's secret formula. :::pause:::: Do you hear thunder?
Lena: Is Boyd's formula still in his head?
Bianca: Yes.
Lena: Maybe he should write it down. You know the high rate of amnesia in this town. What if he forgot his formula?
Bianca: Good thinking. I'll talk to him about it.
Lena: Good. I'll just make a mysterious phone call. Don't be suspicious or anything.
Bianca: I won't. I'm a great judge of character just like all the women in my family.

Erica went to see Chris.
Erica: I know you're upset but I really meant it when I told you that you were the only man I ever really loved.
Chris: Bite me dahlin.
Erica: Oh Chris, I know your heart is broken but at least you're in good company. There's a support group for men whose lives I've trashed. It meets every other Thursday if you're interested.

Opal talked to Jack about Erica.
Opal: Jackson, if you don't do something to convince Erica to stay home and eat t-bone steak every night, she's gonna be out at some barbecue shack looking for ribs.
Jack: Huh?
Opal: You need to go after her Jack before some new guy comes along and gets her first.
Jack: Are they casting some new guy for her already?
Opal: You never know when a bus load of newbies is going to show up. You'd better get her roped and tied before some newbie puts a brand on her.

Kendall told Michael about the lawsuit.
Kendall: Oh Michael, we could lose our company. That would break my heart.
Michael: There's only one thing that could save your company Kendall.
Kendall: Borrowing the money to fight the law suit?
Michael: I know you don't want to do that Kendall. I realize you must win over Boyd and get his secret formula. If you have to break up with me to do that, then I'll understand. I'll even understand if you have to seduce him to get what you want.
Kendall: Couldn't you just lend us the money?
Michael: I know you have too much self respect to borrow from me. I couldn't ask you to do that.
Kendall: You're so right Michael. I wouldn't do that. I'll just try to weasel the formula out of Boyd any way that I can. I wouldn't want to lose my self respect.


Lena's best performances are opposite doors and other inanimate objects, like Maggie

A common pose for Lena
in the early days


Unverified in non-clip parts

***** (clip a) [Previously on AMC: Michael tells Lena that Kendall will do as they want if they threaten Fusion]

Previously on "All My Children"
Brooke: What are you doing with a prostitute in our home?
[amc030408a-inc starts]
Michael: Kendall's integrity prevents her from hijacking Boyd and his formula, but this integrity will disappear just as soon as her company's threatened with a million-dollar lawsuit.
[amc030408a-inc ends]
Kendall: Listen, Boyd, I really need you.
Jack: All right, I’ll give you the space you want.
Erica: I have to speak to Chris alone.

***** (clip b) [Lena listens in on Boyd talking to Bianca]

[amc030408b starts]

Boyd: You're sure Erica wouldn’t mind?
Bianca: Well, she's not even here, and besides, this is the safest place in the building if you don't want to be overheard.
Boyd: I don't, I don't. I mean, I can't risk anyone finding out about this.
Bianca: So, tell me what it is before mom gets here.
Boyd: Ok, ok.
[Lena sneaks up to the door to listen]

***** (clip c) [Boyd shows Bianca his magic lotion while Lena listens in secret]

[amc030408c starts]
Boyd: Ta-da.
Bianca: What is it?
Boyd: A revolution in a jar.
Bianca: Well, what does it do?
Boyd: What every other product on the market promises but can't deliver.
Bianca: Eternal youth?
Boyd: Almost. This stuff -- it just doesn't slow the aging process. It stops it.
Bianca: No way. How?
Boyd: Well, I experimented with some restorative cell therapy, some ? Threw in a few secrets of my own, and, voila, I came up with this.
Bianca: Well, it smells amazing. Can I try some?
Boyd: Yeah, you'd better. [Bianca tries it] Well?
Bianca: I can feel it working already.
Boyd: Very funny, very funny.
Bianca: Does Mom know about this?
[Cuts to Lena listening in]
Boyd: No. Actually, I kind of broke my agreement with her.
Bianca: What?
Boyd: My deal with Erica was I get free rein in the R & D lab as long as she's the first to try the product. So now she'll be the second.
Bianca: I have a feeling she'll forgive you.
Boyd: Look, Erica expects something amazing, and I wanted your opinion before I made my big final presentation.
Bianca: I'm honored.
Boyd: What are you doing? Don't worry. I did all the tests.
Bianca: Uh-huh.
Boyd: There aren't any side effects. Your skin's not going to turn green or anything.
Bianca: Gosh. You know, the texture is so incredible. It's got humectines?
Boyd: Yeah, along with a couple of dozen other ingredients.
Bianca: So the formula is still trapped in that brain of yours?
Boyd: Yeah. Not even my crew in the lab know.
Bianca: Isn't that kind of nerve-racking?
Boyd: Yeah, a little, but, I mean, it's the only way I can make sure the product's safe until I present it to Erica.
Bianca: Well, I think it's awesome. I think you are going to blow her away.
Boyd: I plan to, any day now. [Val catches Lena snooping]

Val: Can I help you?

***** (clip d) [Caught by Val, Lena makes up something fast]

[amc030408d starts]
Lena: I was just looking for a piece of paper to leave Erica a note. I don't want to disturb her.
Val: Oh, well, that's not a problem. Erica's not even in today.
Lena: Oh.
Val: Let me get you that paper.
Lena: Oh, don't trouble yourself. Just have her call me.

***** (clip e) [Bianca and Boyd talk about Kendall (no Lena)]

[amc030408e starts]
Bianca: Wow. No wonder you're in such a good mood. I mean, between your wonder cream and the new woman in your life.
Boyd: New woman? What woman?
Bianca: You're seeing Simone, right?
Boyd: Oh, that. No, it's just been a few dates, that's all. Nothing big.
Bianca: So your heart still belongs to Kendall?
Boyd: Not if I can help it.
Bianca: You know, Boyd, I've been there. The more you try to convince yourself that you don't care about her the more you actually will.
Boyd: But this time I mean it.
Bianca: Well, good. Just don't be her backup guy. She just wants to use you.
Boyd: Look, if anyone's being used, it's Kendall, by that creep Cambias.
Bianca: Well, that's her choice.
Boyd: Yeah, but Cambias is after something, and it's not Kendall.
Bianca: Boyd, are you sure that that isn't just wishful thinking?
Boyd: Look, I'm positive. All right? I don't know what he's after, but it probably has something to do with Erica. I just hope Kendall sees it before it's too late.

***** (clip f) [Lena tries to kiss Bianca]

[amc030408f starts]

Bianca: Lena, hi.
Lena: Oh, hello.
Bianca: Oh, she's not in. I was just borrowing her office.
Lena: Well, I'm glad you're here. I wanted to apologize for my rudeness this morning at breakfast, you know, leaving like that.
Bianca: Oh, well, you couldn't help an emergency. I just hope that everything turned out ok.
Lena: Everything's fine.
Bianca: Well, great. I guess I'll get back to work.
Lena: I hope we can get together again sometime, without interruptions.
Bianca: Oh. Yeah, I'd like that.

Lena: Bianca --
[Lena leans in as if she's about to kiss her]
Bianca: Oh. What are you doing?

***** (clip g) [Lena advises Bianca to tell Boyd to write down the formula]

[amc030408g starts]
Lena: I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to startle you.
Bianca: Oh, no, it's ok.
Lena: It's just you smell so good.
Bianca: Oh! Well, thank you. That must be Boyd’s magic cream.
Lena: Boyd's what?
Bianca: Nothing.
Lena: But it's a perfume?
Bianca: No, no. Don't ask me any more questions about it. I am sworn to secrecy.
Lena: Say no more. In this business, discretion can be the difference between success and failure.
Bianca: Well, Boyd is definitely discreet. I mean, he hasn't even written down the formula.
Lena: You're joking.
Bianca: No. It's all locked in his head.
Lena: Is that wise? I mean, God forbid, should anything happen to him, all this hard work would be for nothing.
Bianca: I guess I never thought of it that way.
Lena: Bianca, with so much at stake, having no backup is very risky.
Bianca: You're right. I'll talk to him about that the next time I see him.
Lena: Good.
Bianca: Now, remember --
Lena: Oh. I won’t say a word.
Bianca: Right. [Bianca leaves; Lena calls Michael]
Lena: It's me. I'm one step closer to getting that formula out of Boyd’s head and onto paper.


I have the following clips:
amc030408a-inc.mpg (1.9m; 0:11) Previously on AMC: Michael tells Lena that Kendall will do as they want if they threaten Fusion
amc030408b.mpg (4.1m; 0:24) Lena listens in on Boyd talking to Bianca
amc030408c.mpg (19.2m; 1:53) Boyd shows Bianca his magic lotion while Lena listens in secret
amc030408d.mpg (3.7m; 0:22) Lena makes up something fast
amc030408e.mpg (9.6m; 0:56) Bianca and Boyd talk about Kendall (no Lena)
amc030408f.mpg (7.2m; 0:42) Lena tries to kiss Bianca
amc030408g.mpg (14.5m; 1:25) Lena advises Bianca to tell Boyd to write down the formula

Previous Episode |AMC Guide |Episode Guide |Next Episode

Guide Table of ContentsBack to Whoosh!