Whoosh! Had Lena's hand been within 15 feet of Michael face, ooo boy, that slap would have hurt!
Still repressing her anger at Myrtle,
Lena takes it out on Michael

Lena Kundera

April 18, 2003

(Lena appearance)
Last update: 11/28/03

Previous Episode |AMC Guide |Episode Guide |Next Episode



Lena Kundera (Olga Sosnovska)
Michael Cambias
Bianca Montgomery
Boyd Larraby


Lena tells Michael that she's not going to use Bianca; Michael calls Lena the "company whore"; Lena smacks Michael; Michael figures out that Lena has feelings for Bianca, which he thinks is hysterical and says it was worth getting slapped for; Lena feebly protests that she just cares about getting paid for services rendered and doesn't think that seducing Bianca is a very effective means of getting the formula; she leaves, saying he should be satisfied with her performance and that she hopes his father is satisfied with his; Bianca calls Lena (who's at a bar) later that night and tells her she had a good time


From The Official Site at ABC.com:

Michael becomes angry when Lena balks at using Bianca to try and get Boyd's formula. Lena denies that she has developed genuine feelings for Bianca. Bianca asks Lena out on another date and Lena reluctantly accepts.

From About All My Children

When Lena arrives at Michael's condo, he asks if she was careful? She assures him she's always careful, and Cambias asks what she has for him? "Second thoughts, I'm afraid," she tells him, "Bianca is not the right person to get Boyd's formula." Michael says he's confused; he thought he was supposed to give the orders, and she was supposed to follow them! When she protests that she does her best for him, Michael notes that she's already failed him once, "You were supposed to get Boyd into bed and that didn't happen; now you come to me with what, second thoughts?" Lena tells him that getting Bianca involved is going to have unintended consequences, but Cambias tells her to just worry about the intended ones, "Bianca will do what you as soon as you slip her what she needs." When Lena argues that she doesn't think she's the right person for the job, Michael retorts that Bianca is ripe for the plucking, "Who better to do that than the company whore?" Lena slaps him across the face, and tells him never to call her a whore again!

Michael apologizes with no apparent sincerity, and says he wants to be sure there is no misunderstanding. She seems to be very proud that she has gained Erica's trust with her financial expertise, but he wants to remind her that he pays her very well for one thing - to take their enemies to bed and get what they need from them. The best way would have been getting to Boyd directly but that didn't happen, so they have to adapt, "And you, my dear friend, are nothing if not versatile." When Lena protests that Bianca is so young, Michael asks if she's telling him she's underage? When Lena says of course she isn't, Michael thinks her youth and inexperience should be a pleasant change for her, and will make her job easier. He's invested too much time and money to be stopped by her excuses, and he's not going back to his father empty-handed, "I don't care who gets hurt. Now, just get me what I want!" Lena promises she will get him Boyd's formula, but targeting Bianca is not the way because Boyd will never confide in her when it comes to something of this magnitude. Michael realizes Lena is protecting Bianca, and asks, "Why this sudden attack of morals? It's not because Bianca's female; I know from personal experience you've never shied away from that." He says that he saw the way Bianca was looking at her in the restaurant tonight, and suddenly exclaims, "Oh no, Lena, don't tell me - my cold Polish courtesan is falling in love!" He laughs as he says he's right - the temptress is in love, "This is good - this is worth getting my face slapped for!" Lena glares at him as he says Bianca is young and innocent, and she got to her.

Ms. Kondera [sic] says he was right, "I'm not a temptress and I'm not a courtesan, I'm a whore - all I care about is getting paid." Cambias asks what's the problem then? Lena repeats that she thinks there are more effective ways of achieving this target, but he's right - her job is following orders. Michael pats the seat next to him as he says she does it very well, and Lena sits down as he agrees there are better ways, if only Kendall had done her job, but unfortunately Kendall has more morals than most people think. He slips his arm around Lena as she says that luckily for them, she dispensed with her morals long ago. "Likewise," he agrees, and asks if they really have to fight, when they always seem to agree in the end? He points to his cheek and tells her, "Come on, make it better." Lena kisses his cheek, but moves away when he leans in for more.

She says he's right, they do always end up agreeing. She promises he'll be satisfied with her performance, and just hopes his father will be as satisfied with his. She walks out the door...

Bianca comes downstairs and calls Lena to say Myrtle is doing much better, and she had a really good time tonight. Lena tells her that she also had a wonderful time. When Bianca comments that she sounds kind of weird, Lena looks around the bar where she's having a drink and tells Bianca she couldn't sleep and was making herself some coffee. They agree to plan another date for a movie, and Bianca says she'll call her tomorrow. As they are saying goodnight, Lena adds, "Bianca, you really are very special." They hang up, and Lena sighs deeply.

From Soap Slut

Previously on All My Children
Something I juuuuuust missed.
Lena told Bianca that she likes her (but decided against passing her a note in gym).
Greenlee made it clear to The Asshat that she’s watching out for Kendall.
Kendall made an *ss out of herself with Boyd...

The *sshat admits Lena into his place. She doesn’t want to do with Bianca what he wants. He lectures her about failing to get Boyd into bed and says that Bianca is ripe for the picking. “Who better to do it than the company whore?” he condescends. Lena furrows her brow and smacks him into next week for that remark...

The *sshat continues to insist that Lena is to seduce Bianca to get Boyd’s formula despite Lena’s protests...

The *sshat thinks Lena’s protecting Bianca for some reason. He can’t imagine Lena not wanting to seduce Bianca because she’s female, saying that he knows from personal experience that Lena doesn’t shy away from that. He does, does he? And he calls HER a whore. He picks up on the fact that Lena is sweet on Bianca...

The *sshat finds the fact that Lena is falling for Bianca to just be hysterical. He declares that it was worth getting slapped for. Lena feebly protests and states that he was right in the first place about her being a whore. All she cares about is getting paid for services rendered. She just doesn’t think that seducing Bianca is a very effective way to get the formula. He tries to make some of his old moves on her but she dodges him. Before she leaves, she says that he should be more than satisfied with her performance and ominously states that she hopes his father is satisfied with his...

Bianca seems to be fighting a bout of insomnia. She wanders downstairs in her PJs. She looks friggin’ adorable, too, in a t-shirt and pin-striped bottoms. She calls Lena who is at a bar. I think it’s BJ’s. Bianca tells Lena that Myrtle is all right and that she had a good time that night. Lena says that she had a good night as well.


This parody is by LizzieT.

Lena parts are indicated in red for those who only want a Lena fix

BJ's was one of today's hot spots as Edmund, Mia, Liza, Colby, and Maddie gathered for ice cream sundaes.
Maddie: This is really good. It's too bad we didn't bring Sam along. He loves ice cream.
Edmund: Don't worry about the blonde kid. I'm sure Isabella will give him some gruel before she puts him to bed in the dungeon.
Liza: There's David Hayward. Why don't you go over and ask him about his new baby?
Edmund: Why would I want to do that?
Liza: So I can have a private scene with Mia and give her romantic advice.
Mia: Can't you just push me out of the window again? You're life isn't exactly a great example of how to run a romance.
Liza: I think you should boink Edmund.
Mia: Didn't you tell me that it was too soon after Jake?
Liza: That was last week - or yesterday - or earlier this morning. This time warp thing is getting out of hand.
David: If you came to ask me about how Maria begged me to make sure she never regains her memory so she won't have to give up the spotted dick, I can't tell you anything. It would go against doctor/patient confidentiality.
Edmund: Actually I just came up to order a diet coke. I'm over wanting Maria to get her memory back.
David: How did that happen?
Edmund: I'm dating one of the Fusion babes.
David: And I've got to get back to the cabin before Leora has a dirty diaper. What's wrong with this picture?

Boyd and Bianca talked about their evening.
Boyd: So Kendall showed up here ready to sleep with me just to get my anti-aging formula. But I know Michael's the one behind the whole thing.
Bianca: How sad. It must be awful to find out someone you really care about is only after you for an anti-aging formula.
Boyd: So how was your date with Lena?
Bianca: OK. But from what I've heard on Entertainment Tonight, it's going to get better by next week.

Later Simone came downstairs to talk to Boyd.
Boyd: Did Myrtle send you down here?
Simone: Yes. She said they're testing out our chemistry. Kiss me.
:::::kiss kiss kiss::::
Simone: That was great. But I don't think you're ever going to get over Kendall no matter what she does.
Boyd: You're right. You know, I really am beginning to wonder if I'm Jack Montgomery's long lost son.

Lena went to see Michael.
Lena: I'm sorry Michael. I just don't think using Bianca is the way to get the anti-aging formula.
Michael: I don't understand. Kendall fails in her mission to sleep with Boyd. You fail in your mission to sleep with Boyd. Why is it my misfortune to get mixed up with soap characters with scruples? Oh well, do you want to have sex?
Lena: Back off or I'll pour salt on you.

Greenlee arrived at the office to find Kendall packing.
Greenlee: What are you doing?
Kendall: I'm leaving.
Greenlee: Why are you taking a bunch of file folders?
Kendall: I had to look like I was packing something and all my plants died.
Greenlee: What's wrong?
Kendall: I messed up everything. I tried to sleep with Boyd to get his formula and I don't know how to tell Michael that I failed. He told me not to sleep with Boyd but I knew it was the only way I could help him impress his poor sick father and then he wouldn't have to break up with me against his will.
Greenlee: That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard - and on this show that's saying a lot.

It was open - mike night at SOS as Aidan, Maria, Maggie, and Henry all met up for another exciting double date.
Lizzie: Oh no, anything but this.
Maria: I'm glad you're here Maggie. I'm so torn about what to do about my memory. I want to remember my kids but I love Aidan so much. What should I do?
Maggie: For starters, you probably shouldn't be asking a college kid for advice about important life decisions. Now let's talk about me and Henry. You think your life is a mess - what about mine?
Lizzie: I think I'll paint my living room just to watch it dry. It would be better than watching these scenes.
Extra: OK guys. It's open mike night. Anyone out there want to sing?
Maria: I could sing "Memories" but I forgot the lyrics.
Aidan: Ow abowt a rousing chorus of "Knees Up Mother Brown"?
Maggie: Why don't you play that tape I gave you of the mysterious guitar player?
Extra: Good idea.
::::song plays::::: roomful of extras stop talking and smile sweetly:::: butterflies flutter::::: peace reigns on the face of the Earth:::::Lizzie contemplates hanging herself from the curtains::::::
Henry: Wow, they like me, they really like me! Maybe we can have a scene at least once a week with me playing the guitar.
Lizzie: :::sob:::: It was the meatball I ate last Friday wasn't it? This is my punishment.


In clip E, Michael implies that he may have been involved with a threesome with Lena and another female


Unverified in non-clip parts

Annotated transcript by "C"

***** (clip a) [Previously on AMC: Lena tells Bianca that she likes her]

[amc030418a-inc starts]
[other unconstructed clips]
Lena: I like you, Bianca. More than you know.
[amc030418a-inc ends]
[other unconstructed clips]

***** (clip b) [Lena tells Michael that Bianca is a bad target]

[amc030418b starts]
Michael: No one saw you?
Lena: You know I'm always careful.
Michael: So what do you have for me?
Lena: Second thoughts, I'm afraid. Bianca is not the right person to get Boyd's formula.
Michael: Well, I'm confused. I thought I was supposed to give the orders and you were supposed to follow them.
Lena: I always do my best for you, Michael.
Michael: Well, in fact, you failed me once, Lena. You were supposed to get Boyd into bed, and that didn't happen. And now you come to me with what -- second thoughts?
Lena: It's just that getting Bianca involved is going to have unintended consequences.
Michael: Well, just worry about the intended ones. Bianca will do what you want as soon as you slip her what she needs.
Lena: I don't think I'm the right person for the job --
Michael: Bianca is ripe for the plucking. Who better to do that than the company whore?
[Lena slaps Michael]

***** (clip c) [Lena has misgivings about using Bianca]

[amc030418c starts]
Lena: Don't you ever call me a whore again.
Michael: I apologize. Forgive me. You're free to choose your euphemism. Only I want there to be no misunderstanding, Lena.
Lena: There is no misunderstanding.
Michael: You seem to be very proud that you've gained Erica Kane's trust through your financial expertise. While I am very impressed that you have other talents, the reason I pay you and pay you very well --
Lena: Yes, I know that --
Michael: Is to take our enemies to bed and get what we need from them. Do you understand that?
Lena: But if I don't feel that this is the best way of doing that --
Michael: You're right, you're right. The best way would have been getting to Boyd directly, but that didn't happen, did it? So what do we do? We adapt, Lena. And you, my dear friend, are nothing if not versatile.
Lena: Just that Bianca's so young.
Michael: Wait, wait. Are you telling me that Miss Bianca is underage?
Lena: Of course she isn't.
Michael: Well, then her youth and inexperience should be a pleasant change for you. And in the end, it'll make your job a lot easier, won't it?
Lena: Look, we don't even know if she can get the formula from --
Michael: Listen, of course you can, of course you can, if you make her.
Lena: But --
Michael: I have invested too much time and money to be stopped by your excuses. There's no turning back now. Do you understand that? I'm not going back to my father empty-handed. I don't care who gets hurt. Now, just get me what I want.

***** (clip d) [Bianca tells Boyd that Lena has chosen her over him]

Boyd: You're never going to change your opinion of Kendall.
Bianca: That's because I've known Kendall a lot longer than you have and I know what she's capable of.
Boyd: But you didn't see her face tonight, Bianca, ok? The shame she felt, how sorry she was. Look, I know she came here to use me, but I'm not giving up on her.
Bianca: Boyd, did you ever think that maybe that's exactly what she was counting on when she came here?
Boyd: Look; you're forgetting she couldn't go through with it. Bianca: Well, I'm sorry, but that's small consolation, Boyd. Look, I've learned the hard way that if you give Kendall a second or a third chance, it just makes her see you as a pushover. [amc030418d-inc starts] I mean, I never even hear from Kendall unless she needs something from me. And can you honestly say that it's been any different for you?
Boyd: No. No, I guess not.
Bianca: That's right. So just forget about her. It's time to move on.
Boyd: Yeah. Just as long as it's not Lena, right?
Bianca: Face it, Boyd -- Lena has already moved on with me.
Boyd: Yeah, you hope.
Bianca: Look, lay off. I really like her.
Boyd: I know.
Bianca: And by the way, Simone is right upstairs.
Boyd: Don't tell me you're going to start playing matchmaker now. Isn't that Myrtle's thing?
Bianca: Oh, well, and mine, too, so give me a break.
Boyd: You know, it's really good to see you smile like this. For what it's worth, I hope Lena doesn't disappoint you.
Bianca: Me, too.
Boyd: Come on -- can we be a little more positive here?
Bianca: How about being realistic?
Boyd: Ah, it's overrated.
Bianca: I agree. So just do me a favor -- don't go banging down Michael Cambias' door just yet.
Boyd: Look, I promise I won't do anything stupid. But I'm not through with Cambias, not by a long shot.

***** (clip e) [Michael accuses Lena of falling in love with Bianca]

[amc030418e starts]
Lena: Michael, I promise you I will get you Boyd’s formula, but targeting Bianca is not the way.
Michael: Why not?
Lena: Because Boyd will never confide in her, not when it comes to something of this magnitude. Michael: You're protecting her.
Lena: No!
Michael: Then why this sudden attack of morals? I know it's not because Bianca's female. I know from personal experience --
Lena: It's not that.
Michael: You've never shied away from that.
Lena: I'm not even sure Bianca will be interested.
Michael: Well, you know, you're being too modest. I saw the way she was looking at you in the restaurant tonight. Oh, no. Lena, don't tell me -- my cold, polish courtesan is falling in love.

***** (clip f) [Lena denies falling in love with Bianca to Michael, even though she has]

[amc030418f starts]
Michael: Well, I'm right, aren't I? The temptress is in love. This -- this is good. This was worth getting my face slapped for. I mean, she's young, she's innocent, and she got to you.
Lena: Please, Michael. The truth is you were right in the first place. I'm not a temptress and I'm not a courtesan. I am a whore. All I care about is getting paid, so --
Michael: So what is the problem, then?
Lena: I told you -- I think there are more effective ways of achieving this target. But you're right. My job is following orders.
Michael: You do that very well. Come on. Look, I agree that there are better ways. You know, if only Kendall had done her job. Unfortunately, Kendall has more morals than most people think.
Lena: Lucky for us, I dispensed with my morals long ago.
Michael: Likewise. But, hey, I mean, you get a lot further when you're traveling light, don't we? Now, listen -- do we really have to fight, hmm? We always seem to agree in the end, don't we? Come on. Come on. Make it better. Come on. Hmm.
[Lena kisses him on the cheek]
Lena: You're right, Michael. We do always end up agreeing. I promise you will be satisfied with my performance. I just hope your father will be as satisfied with yours.
[phone rings]

***** (clip g) [Bianca calls and causes Lena to feel more guilt]

[amc030418g starts]
[Myrtle's. Binks clomps down the stairs (even though she's barefoot her gait can only be described as "clomping") with her arms crossed loosely over her stomach; she's wearing baggy light beige striped drawstring pajama bottoms and a snug-fitting mauve cap-sleeved t-shirt with darker trim around the neck and armholes. Very cute ensemble. She ambles to the phone in the sitting room and carries the cordless receiver over to the sofa, curling up at one end as she dials (oddly, Riegel -- or the sound editor --punches in 11 numbers after hitting the "On" key). Two rings, then a schmancy transition to split screen, with Binks at the bottom half of the screen and Lena at the top. Lena's at a bar, which appears to be empty except for a bartender extra who wanders around doing vaguely barlike stage business; there's a glass of something amber in front of her, several TV screens behind. She's still in the dress from the date, the shawl firmly in place over her shoulders and across her chest. She leans on her right elbow as she talks on the phone; her left hand extends out to the angled section of the bar and plays with a coaster throughout the conversation]
Lena: [answers phone, her voice rather flat] Hello?
Bianca: [smiles] Hi. [Lena reacts, pleasantly surprised] I, I hope it's not too late to call. It's me.
Lena: [much more warmly] No, no no, it's not too late, what's up?
Bianca: [stretches out on the sofa and plays with her hair] Oh, I just wanted to let you know that Myrtle is doing much better.
Lena: The headache's gone, that's good.
Bianca: [continues to play with her hair] Mmhmm. [nods] Um, and I wanted to tell you that... I really had a good time tonight.
Lena: Good -- I mean... [small laugh] so did I.
[grimaces slightly]
Bianca: Really? Because you don't have to say it if you don't mean it.
[laughs and covers eyes briefly with her left hand, then places it at the side of her neck]
Lena: No, really, Bianca, I had a wonderful time.
Bianca: Well, good. [Lena takes a deep breath] You sound kind of weird.
Lena: Oh, well, [looks around; Binks listens intently, a little apprehensive] actually I couldn't sleep, I, I was just making myself some coffee.
Bianca: [relieved] Oh! I'm sorry.
[left hand touches the side of her face]
Lena: No, no, don't be. I'm glad you called.
Bianca: Well, since you're up already, um... [smiles. Camera moves in on Lena, who looks increasingly uncomfortable] maybe we could plan our next date. [draws her legs in; left hand plays with her knee] Do you wanna go see a movie or something?
Lena: [nodding] Sure, I'd like that.
Bianca: [pats leg] Well, that's great. Um, I'll give you a call tomorrow.
Lena: Okay. [Binks nods] Good night.
Bianca: [takes a breath; smiles] Good night.
Lena: Oh, ah, Bianca.
Bianca: Yes?
Lena: I... [exhales and closes eyes briefly] You really are very special.
[listens for a beat, then disconnects. Binks looks at her phone -- "Did I really hear that?" -- then smiles in quiet delight. Meanwhile, Lena looks up, then sighs. She is sooo screwed]


I have the following complete clips: B, C, E, F, G
amc030418b.mpg (8.4m; 0:49) Lena tells Michael that Bianca is a bad target
amc030418c.mpg (13.2m; 1:17) Lena has misgivings about using Bianca
amc030418e.mpg (7.7m; 0:45) Michael accuses Lena of falling in love with Bianca
amc030418f.mpg (19.5; 1:54) Lena denies falling in love with Bianca to Michael, even though she has
amc030418g.mpg (19.4m; 1:54) Bianca calls and causes Lena to feel more guilt
amc030418g.wmv (5m; 1:54) bad sound/picture

I have the following incomplete clips: A, D,
amc030418a-inc.mpg (1.6m; 0:09) Previously on AMC: Lena tells Bianca that she likes her
amc030418d-inc.mpg (14.9; 1:28) Bianca tells Boyd that Lena has chosen her over him

If anyone has complete clips or access to a videotape or other media with full clips on them, please contact me ASAP, Kym

The above described clips can also be found on my shared folder on AIM (http://www.aim.com to download). My user name on AIM is kymtaborn. E-mail me with your AIM user name (ktaborn@lightspeed.net) and I will give you access to the shared folder. When you have access, you can right click my user name on your buddy list and then click on get file. That should get you into the shared folder. If you have problems, then tweak your firewall. The downloads are slow because it has to go through the AIM filter AND often there are a lot of people downloading along with you. I apologize for the slow speed but this is the only way that I can distribute the clips at this time.

I am eliciting volunteers to host the clips throughout the web. If you have 5-25megs of space you can lend to this project, please let me know!

Previous Episode |AMC Guide |Episode Guide |Next Episode

Guide Table of ContentsBack to Whoosh!