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“What’s In A Name?” Episode 16/203 [TEASER] Priest: “A sign from Hera. Ah-- the sacred mandrake root. Oh, great Hera-- I have done your bidding. Now, I await the messenger-- who will bring this death-- to Hercules.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Rena: “This is silly. I need to get back.” Pallaeus [Pal]: “Be patient, Rena-- not much further. OK-- you can open your eyes now. For us-- and for all the children the gods will give us.” Rena: “Pallaeus.” Pal: “I can-- finish it in a month-- if your stepfather doesn’t send me off on a campaign.” Rena: “Pallaeus, please listen to me. I’ve told you, I can’t marry you.” Pal: “Because of Hercules.” Rena: “I love him.” Pal: “But you were promised to me.” Rena: “I make my own decisions.” Pal: “I’d be good to ya, Rena. I’d give you everything.” Rena: “I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you-- but this isn’t meant to be. Pal: “I’ll have your hand in marriage-- and nothing the great Hercules can do will stop me.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Gorgas [Gor]: “Look.” Pal: “How can she do this, Gorgas? How could she care so little about my heart and your word?” Gor: “I trusted you to watch over my domain-- when I waged war in Thrace. Ha-- I never expected to-- return home to your-- lovesick mewling.” Pal: “Everything is just as you left it. You know I’d never shirked my duty. I wish Rena cared as much about obeying you.” Gor: “Calm down, Pallaeus. She’s not a child, anymore. The girl has a mind of her own.” Pal: “You’re as taken with Hercules as she is. All you care about is having him as an ally.” Gor: “And why shouldn’t I? Only a fool would pass up the chance to-- march into battle with the son of Zeus at his side.” Pal: “But I’ve-- fought nobly for you-- killed for you-- done everything you would ask of a soldier.” Gor: “There’s just one problem, Pallaeus. You’ll never be him.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Rena: “Who is it?” Iphicles [Iph]/H’s Voice: “Hercules.” Rena: “Come on in.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- [ACT I] I: “It’ll be great to see your mother, again.” H: “It’s been a while.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- H: [Laughs] I: “Come on, Hercules. Will you stop it? I didn’t know she was married.” H: “Well, her husband knew.” I: “Yeah, tell me about it. You know? You could ’a said something.” H: “I don’t know. Those kind of battles, I always avoid.” I: “Did you see the way she was flirting with me?” H: “Uh-- yeah-- she was. Need some help?” Woman: “Huh? Oh. Oh. Take everything-- only don’t hurt me or the animal. She’s all the family I’ve got left.” I: “Nah-- take it easy. We’re not bandits.” Woman: “Gorgas didn’t send you after me?” H: “Gorgas? No-- working for a warlord isn’t our style. Now-- why don’t we help the lady with her wagon?” I: “OK.” Woman: “It didn’t look like it a couple of minutes ago, but this is my _second_ lucky day in a row. Yesterday-- I sold my most expensive pair of sandals to Hercules. Yes, sir-- cost him thirty dinars, but he didn’t think twice about it. You see? He’s gonna get married in those sandals.” I: “Herc, my foot!” H: “Oh-- sorry, Iolaus. I-- I just hadn’t heard the news about Hercules. Who’s he marrying?” Woman: “The stepdaughter of Gorgas himself. Too bad Hercules isn’t here to help you two with that wagon. Why, he’d probably pull it out all by himself.” H: “You mean-- something like that. Good day to you, Ma’am.” I: “Hope nothing’s broken.” H: “You all right?” I: “Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Iph/H: “Hades was worse than your foulest nightmare. It was pitch black-- sweltering hot-- and evil lurking around evey corner. So I had to find Cerberus, the three-headed dog? And bring him back to King Eurystheus-- without using any weapons. No! No! No! Really!” Man’s Voice: “The mighty Hercules!” Iph/H: “So-- using nothing more than my bare hands-- I choked this biting, clawing, fire-breathing beast-- and I dragged him outta Hades! [Laughter] Man’s Voice: “Hercules!” Iph/H: “The thing is-- the king didn’t want this monster! I mean, who would? So I had to turn around and take him back!” [Laughter] Man’s Voice: “A toast-- to Hercules!” [Cheer] ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Pal: “Indulge me, great priest. I desire revenge against Hercules, for stealing the woman I love. But no mere mortal can overcome the son of Zeus by himself. So it is that I seek help from the goddess, Hera.” Priest: “I have been waiting for you.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Alcmene [Alc]: “I hoped you’d stay longer.” H: “I’m sorry Mother, but-- a man has to defend his name.” Alc: “A name is all it is, Hercules. Whomever this imposter is, he’ll never be the force for good that you are.” H: “Not if he’s taken the side of Gorgas, he won’t.” Alc: “When people will see what’s happening, they won’t have anything to do with him.” H: “I’m afraid it’s more-- complicated than that. When people hear my name, they just--” Alc: “I know, dear. They expect help-- good deeds-- ” H: “And if this fraud can’t deliver them, they-- might get hurt.” Alc: “All right-- I guess you’ve got to go. But all these heroics, Hercules-- it’s not exactly the best way to start another family.” H: “Now Mother, please-- don’t start with that again.” Alc: “Then be careful, will ya? Stay in one piece for a happier day.” H: “I will.” I: “Oh, I’ll make sure he does-- ’long as he can prove he’s the _real_ Hercules.” H: “Goodbye, Mother.” Alc: “Don’t worry; he’s the real one.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- H: “It looks like Gorgas has been busy.” I: “I wonder if there’s anybody left to tell us what happened.” Man: “Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h! Die, you swine!” H: “Whoa! Hold on, there! Hold on! We bring you no harm.” Man: “You mean, Gorgas-- hasn’t sent ya back to-- to finish me off?” I: “Never met the man.” Man: “Ya haven’t?! Well, be glad-- that you haven’t suffered the taxes-- that he’s inflicted on everyone. My daughter and her husband _fought_ him-- but they’re now dead.” H: “Nice guy. Why don’t you come with us? We’re on our way to Phlegra. We’ll-- find you some help.” Man: “Who from? Certainly not Hercules. We thought he’d be our salvation. But even he won’t stand up to Gorgas.” I: “Wait a minute. I thought this Hercules was a-- good man.” Man: “So did we. But so far, he’s done nothin’ to prove it.” H: “We’ll tell the people in town that you’re here.” Man [Sighs]: “Don’t bother. Gorgas has left me nothing to live for.” H: “You know, Iolaus-- this Hercules character is _really_ starting to bother me.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Priest: “This comes from the mighty Hera. Do with it as I instruct you, and you will have your revenge. Take it to where Hercules is-- put it close to him. Only then will it open-- only in the presence of Hercules.” Pal: “What’s in it??” Priest: “Death.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Josephus [Jos]: “Gorgas saddles us with an unfair tax-- and slaughters those of us who resist it. He plunders our crops and our livestock-- and he assumes we’ll never be able to rise up against this ceaseless campaingn of repression.” Man’s Voice: “Gorgas too powerful.” Jos: “But rise up we must. It’s time for us to realize there is power in numbers. We can get weapons-- but they are no good to us if we run at the first sight of Gorgas’ soldiers. We must stand together-- or we are doomed to live out our lives in fear.” Soldier [Sold]: “That’s all you’re good for!” Woman’s Voice: “They’re here.” Sold: “Look at them run.” Man’s Voice: “Hurry!” Sold: “I guess they didn’t believe all your fancy talk.” Jos: “Not now, but someday. They will drag you through the streets and let the dogs chew on your bones. Uh!” Sold: “Watch your mouth! Otherwise you won’t live to _see_ that day.” H: “Use your head. You’re outnumbered.” Jos: “I don’t care! I can take ‘em one at a time or all at once-- however they want it!” H: “That’s something you don’t wanna find out.” I: “Yeah. Step over here. We need to talk. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.” Sold: “Who are you?” H: “Just-- someone who hates fights.” Sold: “Yeah? Well, maybe you should stay out of them.” H: “Believe me, I try. Because I’m-- always worried that-- someone’s gonna get hurt.” Sold: “Oh. You mean, like this.” [Fight] H: “Exactly.” I: “That’s my friend. This won’t take long. That’ll teach you!” Woman’s Voice: “What strength! Who is that?” Man’s Voice: “Unbelievable.” I: “There you go.” Man’s Voice: “-- killed him!” I: “Come on.” Man’s Voice: “Here we are.” Sold’s Voice: “Hurry!” Jos: “Quick-- come with me.” H: “Why?” Jos: “Well, you saved me; now, I’m gonna save you. Hercules is coming.” H: “I don’t believe it.” I: “Do you know this guy? H: “Yes. He’s my brother.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- [ACT II] Man’s Voice [In Background]: “Well, my friend-- there’s nothing I can do.” Iph: “It’s been a long time.” H: “Longer than I thought. I understand you’ve changed your name.” I: “Let’s let these two get better acquainted. What’s your name?” Jos: “Josephus.” I: “Josephus. Yeah-- come on.” Iph: “You’re lookin’ good, Hercules.” H: “Hmm-- aren’tcha worried someone’ll hear you call me that.” Iph: “Oh, come on. Don’t be so sensitive. You know I’d never do anything to dishonor your name.” H: “From what I hear, you already have. You’ve joined up with Gorgas, haven’t you?” Iph: “Coincidence is all. See, I’m marrying his stepdaughter-- who-- just happens to be the-- kindest, most beautiful woman I have _ever_ met. So what am I supposed to do? Tell him I don’t like the blood on his hands.” H: “That’s a good place to start, then people might still respect my name.” Iph: “You will never hear of Hercules doing anything to help Gorgas.” H: “But will I hear that Hercules overthrew him?” Iph: “Look, I’m not making things any worse than they are. Can’t you be satisfied with that?” H: “No-- I can’t.” Iph: “Oh-- I forgot. You’re the brother who’s always right.” H: “When you’re being this foolish, you make it easy.” Iph: “You know what? I don’t have to listen to this.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Jos: “What was going on back there with Hercules and that other big guy?” I: “I’d rather find a nice pomegranate.” Jos: “You’re not gonna find one of those in Phlegra.” I: “OK, well-- the other big guy, as you call him-- that was the real Hercules.” Jos: “Get outta here!” I: “Yeah. And, uh-- the guy who’s lying to everybody, that’s his brother, Iphicles.” Salesman: “The finest produce in all of Phlegra.” Jos: “Nah-- you’re just tryin’ to fool me. This is a joke, right?” I: “No, _this_ is a joke. Is there nothin’ to eat in this entire village?” Jos: “Gorgas takes whatever he pleases, and-- leaves us with his leftovers. Look, if you’re hungry, uh-- you haven’t even told me your name.” I: “Iolaus.” Jos: “Iolaus? Well-- come on, let’s go get sum’in’ to eat.” I: “OK?” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- H: “Iphicles. Iphicles! Fine, have it your way. Now, listen to me! I’m tryin’ to make you understand how evil Gorgas is. I hope his dau-- what’s her name?” Iph: “Rena.” H: “Rena. Well, I hope Rena-- is nothing like her father.” Iph: “Actually, she’s his stepdaughter-- and no-- they’re nothing alike.” H: “Smart, too?” Iph: “Of course, she’s smart.” H: “Then how much longer do you think it’ll be before she figures out you’ve been lying to her.” Iph: “I’m gonna tell her-- don’t worry.” H: “If you really love each other, you can tell her now.” Iph: “Well, the time’s not right.” H: “Well, maybe the time will be right when you introduce your new wife to Mother.” Iph: “I haven’t seen Mother in a long time.” H: “I know. Be yourself, Iphicles. It’s a lot easier.” Iph: “Yeah, well, that’s easy to say if you’re Hercules. I’m the son of a man, not a god. Nobody cares we came out of the same womb. Nobody cares that my birthright’s not the same as yours.” H: “Forget about that! We are what we are because of the lives we’ve lived, nothing else.” Iph: “I do no harm to anyone. I try and help others when I can, but-- I might as well be a grain of sand for all the good it does me.” H: “Maybe you expect too much.” Iph: “All I want is happiness and contentment. And I can have that if you just leave. Can’t you do that, Hercules? You help strangers all the time. Just this once-- I’m asking you to help me.” H: I’m sorry, Iphicles. I wish you everything you want-- but not my name.” Iph: “If you refuse to understand the situation-- we’re not brothers, anymore. We’re enemies.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Jos: “Lunch?” I: “Josephus, I can’t take any of that from you.” Jos: “Nonsense! Around here, this would be considered a feast. There’s plenty to go around.” I: “How long has it been like this?” Jos: “Almost a year. I suppose if Hercules wasn’t in love with Rena-- he would ’a helped us overthrow the murdering pig already.” I: “Josephus-- even if Hercules _is_ marrying Rena, which he isn’t-- you can’t stake everything on one man. I heard what you were saying out there, before. You’ve got the idea-- standing up for what you know is right.” Jos: “I just wish I wasn’t alone.” I: “You’re not-- not anymore. Thanks.” Sold: “That’s one of them right there, with the rabble-rouser! Move it! Move it!” I: “Get out of here. Finish our lecture later.” [Fight] Jos: “I’m not afraid!” I: “This is not about bravery! Just make sure Hercules gets to hear about this!” Jos: “Right! Hercules!” I: “Yeah! The real Hercules! My friend! Get outta here!” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Rena’s Voice: “What’s bothering you, Hercules?” Iph/H: “Nothing.” Rena: “But you’ve always been such an open book, and-- and now it’s like-- it’s like I don’t know who you are. What is it, Hercules?” Iph/H: “Well, it’s, um-- it’s, um-- ” Rena: “Whatever it is-- you know I’ll be here fore you.” Iph/H: “It’s sum’in’ I gotta deal with myself. Don’t worry-- I’ll be fine.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Gor: “He’s the one who flattened an entire patrol. How can you call yourself soldiers?!” Sold: “It wasn’t just him. He’s got a partner-- some big guy.” I [Chuckles]: “So, you’re the top dog around here. You should try my friend for size.” Sold: “Show some respect.” Gor: “You should take his advice. Maybe you can start by telling me why-- you and your friend are here.” I: “We came for the waters.” Gor: “Waters. There are no waters in Phlegra.” I: “Oh-- we were misinformed.” Pal: “You should have been that tough with his partner.” Sold: “We’ll track him down-- after we’ve killed this one.” Gor: “You’re not gonna kill anyone, soldier. Take him to the catacombs. He’s the best bait we’ve got-- if we’re gonna capture his friend and find out what they’re doing here.” I’s Voice: “You won’t catch my friend, and you don’t wanna see him mad!” Gor: “And as for you, forget about your heartbreak, and go find Hercules. I got a job for him.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Jos: “Iolaus gave the soldiers all they could handle, but there were just too many of them. I’d be proud to fight at his side.” H: “You may get the chance to do that. Where would they take him?” Jos: “The enemies Gorgas doesn’t kill go to the catacombs underneath his compound. We found a remote entrance, but it won’t be easy.” H: “For some reason, it never is. Take me there.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- I: “Hey-- what time’s dinner?” Guard: “Dinner?” I: “Yeah. You know-- roast quail, bread-- a little wine.” Guard: “You want dinner, you’d better catch yourself a rat. Of course, you’ll have to eat it raw.” [Laughs] I: “I’d rather have quail.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Jos: “This is where the labyrinth begins.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- 2nd Guard: “Yeah.” H: “You should always wear your helmets.” Jos: “I, uh-- don’t know how to tell you this-- but nobody who’s gone in this way has ever made it back out.” H: “Don’t worry about it. This is as far as you go.” Jos: “But I can go with you. I’m not afraid.” H: “I know you’re not. But you’d be more help to me in Phlegra.” Jos: “But you’ll be alone in there, battling only what the gods know what. And what if Hercules shows up?” H: “He’s already here.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- H: “Just-- once, I’d like to battle a villain who insisted on sunshine and fresh air. Excuse me.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- [ACT III] I: “Will you pipe down?! Hey. Hey, you. Hey, you! I’m talking to ya!” Guard: “What?” I: “You know? I really wasn’t kidding when I said I was hungry.” Guard: “Yeah? Well, I wasn’t kidding about the rat.” I: “Ah-- great. I’ll just-- grab a rat and eat it raw. Who feeds you?” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Pal: “Wrong way, Hercules.” Iph/H: “What are you talkin’ about?” Pal: “There’s trouble in the labyrinth. You’re supposed to take care of it.” Iph/H: “Me?” Pal: “That’s right-- you. The guards say the big troublemaker’s going to rescue his partner. Gorgas wants you to kill him.” Iph/H: “Kill him? Well, why? What happened to his partner?” Pal: “He was captured after the two of them attacked a patrol.” Iph/H: “Oh, I, um-- I hadn’t heard.” Pal: “Not much for news, are you? Let’s see how you are with this. [Laughs] You’re not Hercules.” Iph/H: “Only a crazy man’d say that.” Pal: “Then kill me. That’s what the real Hercules would do, isn’t it? He’d be so outraged at being called an imposter, he’d strike me dead where I stand!” Iph/H: “Never.” Pal: “Liar. Everything you do is a lie.” Iph/H: “You don’t know the first thing about the way he-- ” Pal: “Oh?” Iph/H: “I mean, ‘I,’ operate.” Pal: “I know all I need to know about you-- you fraud. And Gorgas and Rena are gonna know, too.” Iph/H: “They won’t believe a word of it. They know how twisted you are with jealousy.” Pal: “Well-- you’re going to find out, aren’t you?” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- H: “Whoa! Ahh! Whoa! Whoa! Ahhhhhh.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Guards’ Voices: “When you finish all that-- ” “Send it this way!” I: “Food. Oh-- great-- I knew you guys wouldn’t let me starve.” Guard: “Down, boy-- this isn’t for you. This is for us.” A Guard’s Voice: “This pheasant is magnificent!” I: “Pheasant?” Guard’s Voice: “Care for some wine?” I: “Wine?” A Guard’s Voice: “I believe I will!” I: “My mouth [?] Yeah? Well, you just go ahead and eat. I-I got plenty of-- rat.” Guards’ Voices: “I want more of it.” “Don’t eat it all.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- H: “Iolaus-- you better be alive.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- I: “Oh-h-h-h. Ahh! OK-- what do you do? Ya-- ya use an old _hunter’s_ trick. Huh? [Laughs] All right. OK. Come on. Oh-- damn.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Gor: “You’re insane!” Pal: “This jar comes from Hera’s most trusted priest. What’s in it will kill Hercules. But when I help it up to this imposter, nothing happened.” Gor: “A jar that will kill Hercules? I knew that your heart was broken, but-- Rena’s obviously-- affected your mind, too.” Pal: “Gorgas, listen to me. She’s not gonna have Hercules for a husband, and you’re not gonna have him for a son-in-law. Why can’t you understand that?” Gor: “Because I don’t have blinders on.” Pal: “Yes, you do. The intruder is Hercules, and he’s inside these very walls.” Gor: “How do I know this isn’t just another one of your jealous ramblings?” Pal: “The mandrake in this jar will prove me right. It will kill this intruder. And your rule-- will remain unchallenged forever.” Gor: “Ready the guards. We’re goin’ after-- Hercules-- the real-- Hercules.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- I: “That’s it. Now come to Papa. Come on. Gotcha! Ha-ha. Come on. Come on, come on, come on. [Laughs] [Yells] Oy!” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Soldier’s Voice [In Background]: “Ready your weapons!” Rena: “Soldier-- what’s happening?” A Sold: “I-I-I’m under orders not to talk, Ma’am. I’m sorry.” Rena: “You’ll be a lot sorrier if you don’t. Do you know who my stepfather is?” A Sold: “Yes, Ma’am-- Gorgas.” Rena: “Now, what’s all the excitement?” A Sold: “There’s an intruder in the labyrinth. They say he’s heading for the catacombs, to free a prisoner there, and we’re going to stop him.” Sold’s Voice: “Move along, Soldier!” A Sold: “Ma’am, I’ve gotta go.” Rena: “Then go-- and thank you.” Sold’s Voice: “Move out!” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- H: “Who makes these things?” Iph: “Are you ready to die, Brother?” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- [ACT IV] H: “Put that thing down, before you hurt somebody.” Iph: “All I asked you to do was leave. But you couldn’t even do that for your own brother. So get on your feet. We’re gonna settle this for all eternity.” H: “Settle what? There’s _nothing_ for us to fight about. You’ve got your name, and I’ve got mine! That should be _good enough_ for both of us!” Iph: “Quit talkin’ and take the sword!” H: “Sorry-- I’ve got better things to do right now.” Iph: “Pick it up and fight-- or I’m gonna have to do this the hard way, Hercules.” Rena: “Hercules? Why did you call him Hercules?” H: “Well? Are you gonna to tell her?” Rena: “Tell me what? Come on-- I wanna know. Why did you call him Hercules?” Iph: “It’s his name.” Rena: “What are you saying?” Iph: “I lied. I didn’t think you’d love me if I told you I was just-- plain Iphicles, the half-brother of a hero.” Rena: “Is that the kind of woman you think I am, Iph-- whatever your name is?” Iph: “Rena you don’t understand. I’ve always thought the best of you. It was myself I wasn’t sure about.” Rena: “Well, I’m sure about you. You’re the type of man I prayed I’d never meet!” Iph: “Rena, come back! Hercules, you gotta help me.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- I: “You know? It won’t be painful. Just a quick-- and then-- I’m gonna start with your, uh-- legs. A little-- nibble there, and then I’m gonna go to the-- the-- oh, what am I doing? Hercules?! Wouldja hurry up and get me out of this place! [Echoes: “Place! Place! Place! Place! Place! Place! Place!] I mean, what could be so hard?” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- H: “Rena? Rena, would you wait? Would you hold on a minute?!” Rena: “Why should I? You’re probably just gonna lie to me the way that-- that imposter did.” H: “He’s my brother. I’ve known him a lot longer than you have. He would never do anything to hurt you.” Rena: “But how can I ever believe him again? Everything we had together was based on a lie.” H: “No-- not the love you shared. Iphicles used my name. I mean, it was foolish; he knows that. But it doesn’t mean he cares any less for you. I’m sure this is all-- very hard to understand, but I’m just asking you to give him a second chance-- to find out if you can love the man that he really is.” Rena: “I’m sorry-- Hercules-- but right now-- I don’t know what to think.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Gor: “Well?” Sold: “Nothing, sir. He’s escaped the labyrinth.” Gor: “Then you’re too slow! You should have caught the intruder by now!” Sold: “He’s a dead man. You have our word.” Gor: “He’s Hercules. Do I still have your word?” Sold: “We fear nothing, sir.” Gor: “Then bring me his head!” Sold: “Let’s go!” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Iph: “I’m never gonna see her again, am I, Hercules?” H [Sighs]: “That’s-- up to the two of you, now. I did what I could. I’ve-- got to go find Iolaus while he’s still in one piece. We could use your help.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- I: “Herc! About time!” H: “Now-- don’t-- start with me.” [Fight] I: “You gonna get me out of here?!” H: “That’s the idea!” I: “A key’d be nice.” H: “So would a little help!” I [Whispers]: “Let’s see.” H: “Thanks, Brother.” Iph: “That’s all right! I’d have to _fight_ these guys, anyway!” I: “Thanks.” Gor: “Very impressive! Soldiers! Say hello to the-- real Hercules.” Soldiers’ Voices: “What?” “Real Hercules?” “Real Hercules?” Gor: “Now-- say goodbye.” Pal: “Behold-- the mandrake. Hera sends her regards.” Rena: [Screams] Gor: “Get out of here, Rena! This is not your concern! What are you standing there for?! Kill them! Think you’re man enough? Whoever you are?” Iph: “I’m Iphicles-- brother of Hercules-- and you’re about to find out.” [Fight] Rena: “Stop, Father! You’ll kill him!” H: “Iolaus! Lock the door!” I: “You’re insane!” H: “Just do it!” I: “Easy for you to say! Finally, food!” Gor: “I’m gonna kill him!” Pal: “It’s what he deserves for lying.” H: “You-- are going to be annoying, aren’t you?” I: “Next time! Feed me, when I ask to be fed.” Rena: “Let _go_ of me!” Pal: “Not this time.” Iph: “Let her go, Pallaeus.” Pal: “She’s mine!” Iph: “I’m warning you-- let her go.” I: “Herc! How ya doin’?!” H: “That is-- a very good question.” Pal: “She loves me-- or no one at all.” Iph: “You harm her-- you’ll pay with your life.” Pal: “Let’s _find_ out! Ooh! Ahhhhh!” H: “Iolaus-- grab that shackle! Why does this always have to be so hard?” I: “Because-- if it was easy-- anybody could do it.” Men’s Voices: “In here!” “Charge!” H: “Enough-- already!” Woman’s Voice: “Get Gorgas!” Men’s Voices: “Show no mercy!” “No misjustice [?] anymore!” Jos: “Ahh, don’t tell me we missed everything. What are we gonna do with Gorgas?” H: “Well, that’s-- kind of an awkward question, uh-- Rena?” Rena: “No, it’s not. My stepfather is an evil man and deserves to be punished for his crimes. I was gonna say I should have run away long ago. But if I’d done that-- I never would have met Iphicles-- the love of my life.” Iph: “Do you mean it?” Rena: “With all my heart.” Jos: “Iphicles? Well, that means you really are-- ” H: “I knew you’d-- come around.” I: “Great. Now, I can get sum’in’ to eat.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Alc: “Hello, stranger.” H: “Wrong guy. The stranger’s right behind me.” Alc: “Iphicles!” Iph: “It’s been a long time, Mother. I hope you know how sorry I am.” Alc: “Oh, shhh-- this is a time for celebrating, not apologizing. I’m just so glad you’re home. And who’s this?” Rena: “I’m Rena.” Iph: “Isn’t she beautiful? We’re gonna get married.” Alc: “Oh-- that’s wonderful. Welcome to the family.” H [Sighs]: “Family always is-- sooner or later.” I: “Herc-- do you have any, uh-- bread-- or-- food of any kind?” H [Interrupting]: “Iolaus get in here! You’re family, too.” ---------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
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