IS THE MOTHER OF INVENTION
Special to WHOOSH!
By Maria Erb (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Copyright © 1997 held by author
Think the technology for your microwave had more to do with the Cold War than Xena? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...... yeah, right. And what about the pythagorean theorem you used to figure out where to put the steps on the deck you built last summer? What, you think Xena didn't have a hand in that?
It's only a matter of watching enough episodes... let's hope the show runs long enough for us to see Xena fine tune the Socratic method, help Euclid get things straight, and give the boys (Ptolemy, Plutarch, Aristotle, and Plato) something to think about.
Oh, and the bright light that blinded St. Paul on his way to Damascus? It was glinting off Xena's chakram, of course!
Betcha didn't know Xena laid the foundation of modern medicine in the Western world....well, she did! In IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE? Xena's extensive knowledge of herbal tinctures and extracts plus her kindly bedside manner had Hippocrates himself taking notes!
One can hardly believe Julius Caesar didn't pick up a few pointers about world domination from his dangerous liaison with the Warrior Princess in DESTINY. And what other conquerors has she, um, inspired? Alexander the Great? Only future eps will tell.
Didn't we all sleep a little better after ROYAL COUPLE OF THIEVES, just knowing that Xena had saved the Ten Commandments from being auctioned off to some ne'er do wells?
Hope for mankind is still alive thanks to Xena's piercing insights into the workings of human nature. When we found out in CRADLE OF HOPE that the pretty box Pandora had been lugging around for centuries was completely empty, Xena could've gone shrieking into the long dark night with that pertinent info guaranteeing some really shaky moments for folks already afflicted with a sense of ennui, but NOooooo.... The Warrior Princess bit her lip and declared that because hope actually resides within each one of us, Gabby didn't really screw things up for all eternity by knocking that box off the table. Now tell it to the folks with ennui!
Ben Franklin, Ben Schmanklin, Xena was there first, spudboy! In A DAY IN THE LIFE, Xena "brings the power of Zeus to earth" by jamming a belt buckle onto the end of a big piece of parchment and hoisting it into a nasty storm. Though Gabby, Hower, and Minya smirk, Xena fries her man, Gareth, to a crisp. Just wait till she finds out about those laws of thermal dynamics!
Jesus may have been given credit for the Sermon on the Mount, but it looks like he spent a little time with the Xena Scrolls first! Gabby's scintillating verses from CALLISTO "This cycle of revenge must end....through love and forgiveness" sound hauntingly familiar to readers of Matthew 5:38-48.
Some guy from Germany might have cashed in on the American taste for gummy bears, but it's clear where the inspiration for that food item came from. When Velasca dangled a jiggly, red clump of ambrosia in front of us in A NECESSARY EVIL, you couldn't help but see the future of Jello, red candy fish from Woolworth's, and the full line of gummy products.
Current US military policy excludes women from active combat duty based (at least in part) on the argument that such a thing condones violence against women. After watching Xena kick b**t week after week after week, it's only a matter of time before the American public gets used to the idea of seeing women give and take physical punishment. The Warrior Princess has not only left her mark on present day society, she's charting a course for its future too! Pack it up Mr. Powell, it's Xena and Gabrielle in 2000!.
Xena's fashion sense has had more than a passing impact on current styles. Madonna's bullet bra clearly has its roots in Xena's brazen breast plates. And that dark mane with the heavy bangs...Ann Wilson of Heart, Roseanne Barr, and Elvira Mistress of the Dark are definitely taking the cues for their coifs from the Warrior Princess.