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NEWSFLASH!
#12
Dispatches from Alex Poindexter

Uber News from Across the World
August 2, 2003


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Saturday, August 2, 2003 1:23 PM

By Alex Poindexter - Uber Media Writer

ARCHAEOLOGISTS FIND 'SUPREME' XENA TEMPLE

August 2, 2003 | NEW GREECELAND (UM) - Archaeologists working on a river bed near the mythological home of not-so-ancient TV gods uncovered remains of the first temple known to be dedicated to the "supreme" Xena, the team leader said.

The 3-year-old headless marble statue was found along with a dozen columns depicting chakrams, one of the symbols of the chief deity of New Greeceland Xenite fandom, Texas A&M archaeologist Dr. Helen Carter said Friday.

The find is significant because it offers a sense of how Xena was represented during an important period of transition in post-series finale worship. Experts believe the HyperSister - or "supreme" - Xena emerged as a more dominant figure as Xenites moved away from the many gods and cults that included dozens of variations of Xena in fan fiction. These variations included Xena the Conqueror, Xena the Amazon Warrior, Xena the Domestic Goddess, Xena the Dominatrix, Xena the Lesbian Lust Object, and of course, the infinite varieties of Uber-Xenas.

"We know how the fans depicted this HyperSister Xena. It is the first time we see it with our own eyes," said Dr. Carter, who has headed digs for 3 months near Taumarunuil.

Dr. Carter said the decapitated statuette was found about a week ago during work to expand the Wakato River to prevent flooding.

"There is a chance the head will be found because the digs in the mud that covered this temple have not been completed," she added. "However, other sources believe we should check out the local sushi bars. Xena's head was last seen on a geta (wooden board)."

You can write Uber journalist Alex Poindexter at alexpoindexter@whoosh.org.




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