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By Laura Sue Dean
August 10, 1997


I GUESS MY "SPECIAL ANGEL" REALLY IS LOOKING OUT FOR ME! I AM STILL HERE! This week has been hella-hectic (note how I cleverly inserted a swear word in a way to avoid that pesky WHOOSH censor)!! On top of the usual full week of acting classes (METHOD, natch!), singing lessons, and auditions -- my stylist picks THIS week to take his S/O to Maui!!! Luckily, Alyssa Milano's guy had a last-minute cancellation, so... VOILA! *Instant STARLET!* (I think it may have helped me get a small-but-significant part in an upcoming mini-series -- I'll keep you posted!)


XENA COMIC UPDATE. Remember the Xena Comic that I told you would debut in August? Well, it's release has been pushed back to October (could TPTB have the same suits in charge of the comics as they do the gabby dolls?)

MORE IMPORTANTLY, Laura Sue has GLORIOUS news regarding one of XWP'S MOST-BELOVED (and SORELY MISSED) actors' involvement with the the tardy comics...A Xena-comic storyline written by Robert (Salmoneus) Trebor! It's a three-parter called "The Theft of the Young Lovelies." Sounds just like something the *darling* man would write! (BTW -- If you folks ever get a chance to see him at a Con or fest, RUN, don't walk! Mr. Trebor is one of my favorite folks in the entire Xenaverse! In fact, maybe somebody else's favorite, too. I know this is not the gossip part NGR, but I can't help myself. While at the Southern California XenaFest III I saw a certain editor of a high profile on-line fan magazine all over the guy. Rumors flew that numbers were exchanged! She later said HE was asking HER to be interviewed!! Yeah...right! We've heard THAT line before. We know when some editorial action is going on.) So, this is GREAT news! If we can't see of Robert Trebor on TV (and WHY is that, PTB?) at least we can see him in PRINT!

SPEAKING OF COMIC BOOKS...One of my neighbors held a yard sale last week, and while browsing through a bargain bin I found this! A three issue comic book series (from 1994!) called "Xenya". Name sound familiar? Well, look at what *else* is familar. Here's a picture of one of the many characters found in Xenya.

Hey! Haven't I seen you some place before?

Xenya is a compilation comic -- lots of different stories and characters.
Look like anyone WE know?

YES, COINCIDENCES ARE AMAZING THINGS...Gee, what's this? A DISCLAIMER on the XENYA #1 inside cover? ...and I quote: "Any similarity between anybody you know either alive, dead, damned, or in between may not be entirely coincidental. No part of this book may be used for anything but positive reviews, sheer enjoyment, or as a guide for those contemplating inner space. Pray the stories herein are fictional." HUH! Since Xena started filming in January, '95 and this three-comic series started April '94....we'll just put it all down to "AMAZING COINCIDENCE? You be the judge!"

AMAZON ALERT!! The REN PIC project "formerly known as" AMAZON HIGH has been re-titled "AMAZON NATION". YES, Danielle Cormark (Ephany in XWP) has been pitched the idea, but as of yet has seen NO contract! -- Keep eyes peeled on this space for up-to-the-week news about your fave XWP guest stars!

NORMA RAE, WE HARDLY KNEW YE! Flawless Fans with tickets to see their goddess in GREASE got a scare earlier this month when ACTORS EQUITY (union of US Stage Actors) raised serious concerns that OUR LUCY was nothing but a "low-priced foreign actor," come to steal the food off their children's plates! I'll explain: Since she's a citizen of New Xealand, Lawless cannot be a member of Actors Equity -- and the Union doesn't like the idea of "foreign actors" taking "American jobs"...unless they're BONAFIDE STARS! (hey--have they been *breathing* the last two years? Leah at the Lippin Group (hi there, Leah...kiss-kiss! Let's do lunch soon!) has done a SPECTACULAR job of promoting the show; you can't turn around w/out seeing LUCY somewhere...talk about Snobs!) Before LUCY could kick some major b*tt at the union, cooler heads prevailed... (It prolly didn't hurt that the GREASE producers announced that the show would close if the FLAWLESS one couldn't perform!) SO, as promised, for seven weeks, starting September 2, "Our Lucy" will follow in those footsteps of such ACTING LEGENDS as Rosie O'Donnell, Brooke Shields, Debby Boone, and yes... Sheena Easton! Glad we finally got the definition of BONAFIDE STAR down, kids! ("Ya got that?")

GABBYBILIA UPDATE: NO, the poster shown in the American Entertainment Ad in (US versions of?) TV guide (page 45, immediately following the three-page "comic tease" offered by TOPPS) IS NOT the one you'll get if you order the comic by Sept. 15. The blurb under the "poster" (with a shot of X&G from The Reckoning?) says "HURRY! Orders phoned, mailed, or placed online by Sept. 15, 1997, get a FREE *full-color* Xena poster!" I placed a call to the marketing dept. at American Entertainment because...if this were true, the TOPPS/American Entertainment poster would be the FIRST gabby poster available EVER! My hopes we dashed, tho, when the corporate executive said, "Oh no. That's just a picture we used -- the poster will be a reproduction of the COMIC BOOK illustrations...." You know, the ones where Gabby looks like an elf and Xena a pre-Unification East German athlete?

HOWEVER!!! GREAT GABUOLOUS NEWS *has* arrived from the American Library Association! (Remember them? The folks who put out those GORGEOUS "VANQUISH IGNORANCE" posters and bookmarks of Xena and Herc?) WELL, FINALLY, we will get a "beautiful" depiction of THE BARD of POTEIDAIA to hang on our walls! Kathy Repholz, Director of ALA Graphics has confirmed that they are "scrambling" to get a "Gabrielle/Project:READ" poster (and bookmark?) out for inclusion in their FALL catalogue. Hats off to the Macgabbers, who lobbied the ALA and MCA tirelessly for this to happen. Guess they took the quote from ROC seriously when she said (in the SPUR interview on the ROC Fan Club Page) -- "I believe that if a person or people aspire to a dream, they can achieve it. But they must continue to be persistent and ambitious. And they must seek education." It's exciting to think that little reproductions of her portrayal of a BARD will be inserted in kid's books all over the country...Which REMINDS ME! (when the posters are DONE!) FOR BULK ORDERS of the GABRIELLE/Project:READ poster: call the sales manager at 1-800-545-2433, ext 3252 for details. For other orders call the customer service reps at 1-800-545-2433 and press 7. ALA Graphic's hours are 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. CST, Monday-Friday.

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE to venture out with your wallet, a NEW,IMPROVED (lemon-fresh scent?) Lucy Lawless Fan Club has been formed by former Lucy Lawless Fan Club members! (this is NOT officially sanctioned by Ms. Lawless, btw and they have NO contact w/Flawless herself) HOWEVER! They do have some LL Fan club STADIUM CUPS made for members!!!!!!! For more info, email LLFanClub@aol.com, or visit their website at http://members.aol.com/LLFanClub/LucyClub.html.


FROM THE "GEE, I THOUGHT IT WAS THE CLEVER DIALOGUE AND SCENIC VISTAS" DEPARTMENT: Know how XWP is being advertised in Australia? Their main ploy seems to be find any reason to have a closeup of Lucy's breasts. A few weeks ago it was some lame reference to "big enough for both of them" (XWP is back to back with HTLJ). This week it's a witty riposte about chests (for the episode A Fistful of Dinars). One of Aussie TV's very popular comedies (that does tv show parodies) pre-empted all this months ago (when XWP was temporarily off the air) -- with a delightful snippet portraying Xena and Gabrielle confirming that XWP is a *kid's show* while the camera panned across from the breasts of one to the other. (BTW, XWP has a PG (Parental Guidance) rating as opposed to HTLJ's G (General Exhibition) rating. What's the matter Herc, chest too flat?)

DOES TED RAIMI GET MAIL LIKE THIS? Lucy has been getting all that naughty fan mail! Reports of Lucy having to fight off hordes of "naughty fans." She revealed in another magazine that: "Some of them want to be spanked. Others want me to walk on them with Xena's knee-boots. They must think I'm still wearing them when I go home." After the piccie in this month's Esquire, Lucy looks forward to LOTS MORE MAIL.

And I make a pretty d*mn good cup of coffee too!

Ms. Lawless at ease

SPEAKING OF TED RAIMI: There is a "JOXER THE HEDGEHOG" song contest on the internet for Ted Raimi fans to enter! A certain Xenite has named his pet "JOXER" and would love to have a song up on his site to honor said furry thing. Rules are probably at http://mattbrent.simplenet.com/Xena.html. The winner is promised their song/picture/homepage link, etc. up on this page next to a picture of the little critter. "ECRU, Brute?" (Laura Sue's note: this is NOT a typo, but a "Homage" to a certain die-hard JOXER FAN!!!!!)


LISTS ARE LEAKING THAT GABRIELLE will have a new weapon next season! ROC fans are guessing NUN-CHUKS (some say that their gal uses them on stevie-boy if he gets outta line!) But serious censorship issues are raised if in fact they are the weapon of choice! ('chuks are a NO-NO on UK tellys. By law, they must be edited out of any show -- too violent!)

"BAT-HER" UP!! A certain list is *hot and humming* now that one of their most "prolific" members has returned to the fold. Said member had taken a three-week Southwesten excusion to "find herself." This scribe learned that "herself" wasn't the ONLY thing she found along the way! Just WHAT did she find? Curious minds wanna know, but the grrl ain't talkin!


(forwarded by my esteemed editor)

Dear Editor-in-Chief:

Where the heck did you find this "Laura Sue Dean" woman??????? Sheesh....

You people are REALLY starting to frighten me...

Tricia K. Heintz (Murphy)

Laura Sue says:


Dear Laura Sue,

I really like the addition of your section to Whoosh. It adds a little spice. I have a couple of questions about Argo that no one seems to be able to answer for me. Maybe you can help. Argo is a Palomino, but what type of breed of horse? Quarterhorse, Thoroughbred, etc... All the answers I have received tell me that Argo is a Palomino. That's fine, but many different breeds of horse come in the color of Palomino. There are Palomino Quarterhorse, Palomino Saddlebreds, Palomino Thoroughbreds, etc. Also, wondering what type of saddle is used on Argo? English saddle, a special New Zealand design?

Any information you could provide would be greatly appeciated.

Laura Sue says:


I submitted your question to someone who SHOULD know your answers, but have gotten no response (no doubt they lost the e- mail and I *must* resend). That's why I've printed your letter here, in this open forum. Perhaps a fellow ARGO-NUT can offer assistance? How about it kids? Anyone know? Anyone got any HORSE- SENSE?

Hi Laura Sue

It's been bugging me for ages and I am dying to discover the truth -- why have we NEVER seen Lucy Lawless' stomach? Every one else wanders around baring their bellies but not Xena -- even when she's dancing or dressing up. Does LL have caesarian scars (that Caesar has a lot to answer for!), maybe a colorful tattoo, a pierced navel or is she just shy? Can you reveal her secret?

Laura Sue says:

Dear Curious:

Uh - Uh. Do NOT go there! I WILL NOT FOLLOW!


THAT'S ALL? GEE, AND I WAS JUST GETTING COMFORTABLE. Remember, if you have any questions, juicy bits, or fountains of knowledge, please write me, Laura Sue Dean.

Ciao for now! Until next time, SEE YOU AT THE PHOENIX CLUB!

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